GIFT  OF 


ODDSFISH 


ODDSFISH! 


BY 


ROBERT  HUGH  BENSON 

Author  of  "Come  Rack!  Come  Rope!",  "Lord  of  the  World,*9 
"Initiation,"  etc. 


K 


NEW  YORK 
DODD,  MEAD  AND  C 


tf 

0 


COPYRIGHT.  1914 
BY  DODD,  MEAD  AND  COMPANY 


AUTHOR'S  NOTE. 

I  wish  to  express  my  gratitude  for  great  help  received 
in  the  writing  of  this  book  to  Miss  MacDermot,  Miss  Stearne 
and  others,  as  well  as  to  three  friends  who  submitted  to  hear- 
ing it  read  aloud  in  manuscript,  and  who  assisted  me  by  their 
criticisms  and  suggestions. 

Further,  I  think  it  worth  saying  that  in  all  historical  epi- 
sodes in  this  book  I  have  taken  pains  to  be  as  accurate  as 
possible.  The  various  plots,  the  political  movements,  and  the 
closing  scenes  of  Charles  II's  life  are  here  described  with  as 
much  fidelity  to  truth  as  is  compatible  with  historical  romance. 
In  particular,  I  do  not  think  that  the  King  himself  is  repre- 
sented as  doing  or  saying  anything — except  of  course  to  my 
fictitious  personages — to  which  sound  history  does  not  testify. 
I  have  also  taken  considerable  pains  in  the  topographical 
descriptions  of  Whitehall. 


( 

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PROLOGUE 

THE  day  from  which  I  reckon  the  beginning  of  all  those 
adventures  which  occupied  me  in  the  Courts  of  England  and 
France  and  elsewhere,  was  the  first  day  of  May  in  the  year 
sixteen  hundred  and  seventy-eight — the  day,  that  is,  on  which 
my  Lord  Abbot  carried  me  from  St.  Paul's-without-the-Walls 
to  the  Vatican  Palace,  to  see  our  Most  Holy  Lord  Innocent  the 
Eleventh. 

It  had  been  a  very  hot  day  in  Rome,  as  was  to  be  expected 
at  that  season;  and  I  had  stayed  in  the  cloister  in  the  cool, 
as  my  Lord  Abbot  had  bidden  me,  not  knowing  whether  it 
would  be  on  that  day  or  another,  or,  indeed,  on  any  at  all, 
that  His  Holiness  would  send  for  me.  I  knew  that  my  Lord 
Abbot  had  been  to  the  Vatican  again  and  again  on  the 
business;  and  had  spoken  of  me,  as  he  said  he  would,  not 
to  the  Holy  Father  only,  but  to  the  Cardinal  Secretary  of 
State  and  to  otjflfs;  but  I  did  not  know,  and  he  did  not 
tell  me,  as  to  whether  that  business  had  been  prosperous; 
though  I  think  he  must  have  known  long  before  how  it 
would  end.  An  hour  before  Ave  Maria,  then,  he  sent  to  me, 
as  I  walked  in  the  cloisters,  and  when  I  came  to  him,  told  me, 
all  short,  to  dress  myself  in  my  old  secular  clothes,  as  fine 
as  I  could,  and  to  be  ready  to  ride  with  him  in  half  an  hour, 
because  our  Most  Holy  Lord  had  consented  to  receive  me 
one  hour  after  Ave  Maria.  He  said  nothing  more  to  me  than 
that;  he  did  not  tell  me  how  I  was  to  bear  myself,  nor  what  I 
was  to  say,  neither  as  I  stood  in  his  cell,  nor  as  we  rode  as 
fast  as  we  could,  with  the  servants  before  and  behind,  into 
Rome  and  through  the  streets  of  it.  I  knew  nothing  more 
than  this — that  since  neither  I  nor  my  novice-master  were  in 
the  least  satisfied  as  to  my  vocation,  and  since  I  had  consid- 
erable estates  of  my  o\vn  in  France  (though  I  was  an  Eng- 
lishman altogether  on  my  father's  side),  and  could  speak  both 
French  and  English  with  equal  ease,  and  Italian  and  Spanish 


£  ODDSFISH! 

tolerably— that  since,  in  short,  I  was  a  very  well-educated 
young  gentleman,  and  looked  more  than  my  years,  and  bore 
myself — (so  I  was  told) — with  ease  and  discretion  in  any 
company,  and  could  act  a  part  if  it  were  required  of  me — 
I  might  perhaps  be  of  better  service  to  the  Church  in  some 
secular  employment  than  in  sacred.  This  was  all  that  I  knew. 
The  rest  my  Lord  Abbot  left  to  my  own  wits  to  understand, 
and  to  our  Holy  Father,  if  he  would,  to  discover  to  me:  and 
that,  indeed,  was  presently  what  he  did. 

I  had  been  within  the  Vatican  before  three  or  four  times, 
both  when  I  had  first  come  to  Rome  four  years  ago,  and  once 
as  attendant  upon  my  Lord  Abbot;  but  never  before  had 
I  felt  of  such  importance  within  those  walls;  for  this  time 
it  was  myself  to  whom  the  Holy  Father  was  to  give  audience, 
and  not  merely  to  one  in  whose  company  I  was.  I  was  in 
secular  clothes  too — the  peruke,  buckles,  sword,  and  all 
the  rest,  which  I  had  laid  aside  two  years  ago,  though  these 
were  a  little  old  and  tarnished — and  I  bore  myself  as  young 
men  will  (for  I  was  only  twenty-one  years  old  at  that  time), 
with  an  air  and  a  swing;  though  my  heart  beat  a  little  faster 
as  we  passed  through  the  great  rooms,  after  leaving  our 
cloaks  in  an  antechamber  and  arranging  our  dress  after  bhe 
ride;  and  at  last  were  bidden  to  sit  down  while  the  young 
Monsignore  who  had  received  us  in  the  last  saloon  went  in 
to  know  if  the  Holy  Father  were  ready  to  see  us. 

It  was  a  smaller  room — this  in  which  we  sat — than  the 
others  through  which  we  had  passed,  and  in  which  the  crim- 
son liveried  servants  were;  and  its  walls  were  all  covered 
with  hangings  from  cornice  to  floor.  That  which  was  op- 
posite to  me  presented,  I  remember,  Jacob  receiving  the 
blessing  which  his  brother  Esau  should  have  had;  and  I  won- 
dered, as  I  sat  there,  whether  I  myself  were  come,  as  Jacob, 
to  get  a  blessing  to  which  I  had  no  right.  My  Lord  Abbot 
said  nothing  at  all;  for  he  was  a  stout  man  and  a  little  out 
of  breath ;  and  almost  before  he  had  got  it  again,  and  be- 
fore I  was  sure  as  to  whether  I  we  -e  more  like  to  the  liar 
Jacob,  who  won  a  blessing  when  he  should  not,  or  to  un- 


ODDSFISH!  3 

spiritual  Esau,  who  lost  a  blessing  which  he  should  have 
had,  the  young  Monsignore  in  his  purple  came  back  again, 
and,  bowing  so  low  that  we  saw  the  little  tonsure  on  the 
top  of  his  head,  beckoned  to  us  to  enter. 

By  the  time  that,  behind  my  Lord  Abbot,  I  had  per- 
formed the  three  genuflections  and,  at  the  third,  was  kissing 
the  ring  of  our  Most  Holy  Lord,  I  had  already  taken  into 
my  mind  something  of  the  room  I  was  in  and  of  him  who 
sat  there,  wheeled  round  in  his  chair  to  greet  us.  The  room 
was  far  more  plain  than  I  had  thought  to  find  it,  though 
pretty  rich  too.  The  walls  had  sacred  hangings  upon  them; 
but  it  was  so  dark  with  the  shuttered  windows  that  I  could 
not  make  out  very  well  what  their  subjects  were.  A  dozen 
damask  and  gilt  chairs  stood  round  the  walls,  and  three 
or  four  tables;  and,  in  the  centre  of  all,  where  I  was  now 
arrived,  stood  the  greatest  table  of  all,  carved  of  some  black 
wood,  and  at  the  middle  of  one  side  the  chair  in  which  sat 
the  Holy  Father  himself. 

He  had  very  kind  but  very  piercing  eyes  :f this  was  the 
first  thing  that  I  thought;  his  hair  beneatli  his  cap,  as  well 
as  his  beard,  was  all  iron-grey;  his  complexion  was  a  little 
sallow,  and  seemed  all  the  more  sallow  because  of  his  red 
velvet  cap  and  white  soutane;  (for  he  wore  no  cloak  because 
of  the  heat).  As  soon  as  I  had  kissed  his  ring  he  bade  me 
stand  up — (speaking  in  Italian,  as  he  did  all  through  the 
audience) — and  then  beckoned  me  to  a  chair  opposite  to  his, 
and  my  Lord  Abbot  to  another  on  one  side.  And  then  at 
once  he  went  on  to  speak  of  the  business  on  which  we  were 
come — as  if  he  knew  all  about  it,  and  had  no  time  to  spend 
on  compliments. 

Now  our  Holy  Father  Innocent  the  Eleventh  was,  I  sup- 
pose, one  of  the  greatest  men  that  ever  sat  in  Peter's  Seat.  I 
would  not  speak  evil,  if  I  could  help  it,  of  any  of  Christ's 
Vicars;  but  this  at  least  I  may  say — that  Pope  Innocent  re- 
formed a  number  of  things  that  sorely  needed  it.  He  would 
have  no  nepotism  at  the  Papal  Court;  men  stood  or  fell  by 
their  own  merits:  so  I  knew  very  well  that  my  estates  in 


4  ODDSFISH! 

France,  even  if  they  had  been  ten  times  as  great,  would  serve 
me  nothing  at  all.  He  was  very  humble  too — (he  asked 
pardon,  it  was  said,  even  of  his  own  servants  if  he  troubled 
them) — so  I  knew  that  no  swashbuckling  air  on  my  part  would 
do  me  anything  but  harm — (and,  indeed,  that  was  all  laid 
aside,  willy  nilly,  so  soon  as  I  came  in) — since,  like  all  humble 
men  he  esteemed  the  pride,  even  of  kings,  at  exactly  its  proper 
worth,  which  is  nothing  at  all.  He  was,  too,  a  man  of  great 
spirituality,  so  I  knew  that  my  having  come  to  St.  Paul's 
as  a  novice  and  now  wishing  to  leave  it  again,  would  scarcely 
exalt  me  in  his  eyes.  I  felt  then  a  very  poor  creature  indeed 
as  I  sat  there  and  listened  to  him. 

"  This,  then,  is  Master  Roger  Mallock,"  he  said  to  my  Lord 
Abbot,  "  of  whom  your  Lordship  spoke  to  me." 

"  This  is  he,  Holy  Father,"  said  my  Lord. 

"  He  has  been  a  novice  for  two  years  then ;  and  his  su- 
periors are  not  sure  of  his  vocation  ?  " 

"Yes,  Holy  Father." 

The  Pope  looked  again  at  me  then,  and  I  dropped  my  eyes. 

"  And  you  yourself,  my  son  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Holy  Father,"  I  said,  "  I  am  sure  that  at  present  I  have 
no  vocation.  What  God  may  give  me  in  the  future  I  do  not 
know.  I  only  know  what  He  has  not  given  me  in  the  pres- 
ent." 

Innocent  tightened  his  lips  at  that;  but  I  think  it  was  to 
prevent  himself  smiling. 

"  And  he  is  an  English  gentleman,"  he  went  on  pres- 
ently, "  and  he  has  estates  in  France  that  bring  him  in  above 
twenty  thousand  francs  yearly;  and  he  is  twenty-one  years 
of  age;  and  he  is  accustomed  to  all  kinds  of  society,  and  he 
is  a  devoted  son  of  Holy  Church,  and  he  speaks  French  and 
English  and  Italian  and  Spanish  and  German " 

"  No,  Holy  Father,  not  German — except  a  few  words," 
I  said. 

"  And  he  is  discreet  and  courageous  and  virtuous 

"  Holy  Father "  I  began  in  distress,  for  I  thought  he 

was  mocking  me. 

"  And  he  desires  nothing  better  than  to  serve  his  spiritual 


ODDSFISH!  5 

superiors  in  any  employment  to  which  they  may  put  him — 
Eh,  my  son  ?  " 

I  looked  into  the  Pope's  face  and  down  again;  but  I  said 
nothing. 

"  Eh,  my  son  ? "  he  said  again  with  a  certain  sharp- 
ness. 

"  Holy  Father,  I  have  been  taught  never  to  contradict  my 
superiors;  but  indeed  in  this " 

"  Bravo !  "  said  Innocent. 

Then  he  turned  to  my  Lord  Abbot,  as  if  I  were  no  longer 
in  the  room. 

"  The  question/*  he  said,  "  is  not  only  whether  this  young 
gentleman  is  capable  of  hearing  everything  and  saying  noth- 
ing, of  preserving  his  virtue,  of  handling  locked  caskets  with- 
out even  desiring  to  look  inside  unless  it  is  his  business,  of 
living  in  the  world  yet  not  being  of  it — but  whether  he  is 
willing  to  do  all  this  without  being  paid  for  it — except  per- 
haps his  bare  expenses." 

My  Lord  Abbot  said  nothing. 

"  I  can  have  a  thousand  paid  servants,"  said  Innocent, 
"  who  are  worth  exactly  their  wages ;  but,  since  money  can- 
not buy  virtue  or  discretion  or  courage,  in  such  servants  I 
cannot  demand  those  things.  And  I  can  have  a  thousand 
foolish  servants  who  could  earn  no  wages  anywhere  because 
of  their  foolishness,  and  these  never  have  discretion  and  not 
often  either  virtue  or  courage.  But  what  I  wish  is  to  have 
servants  who  are  as  wise  sons  to  me — who  have  all  these 
things,  and  will  use  them  for  love's  sake — for  the  love  of 
Holy  Church  and  of  Christ  and  His  Mother,  and  who  will 
be  content  with  the  wages  that  These  give." 

He  stopped  suddenly  and  looked  at  me  quickly  again;  and 
my  heart  burned  in  my  breast;  for  this  that  he  was  saying 
was  all  that  I  most  desired;  and  I  saw  by  that  that  my 
talk  must  have  been  reported  to  him.  I  loved  Holy  Church 
then,  and  the  cause  of  Jesus  and  Mary,  as  young  men  do 
love,  and  as  I  hope  to  love  till  I  die.  I  asked  nothing  better 
than  to  serve  such  causes  as  these  even  to  death.  It  was 
not  for  lack  of  ardour  that  I  wished  to  leave  the  monastery; 


6  ODDSFISH! 

it  was  because,  truthfully,  I  had  a  fever  on  me  of  greater 
activity;  because,  truthfully,  I  was  not  sure  of  my  vocation; 
because,  truthfully,  I  doubted  whether  such  gifts  and  such 
wealth  and  such  education  as  were  mine  could  not  be  used 
better  in  the  world  than  in  the  cloister.  I  knew  that  I  could 
take  a  place  to-morrow  in  either  the  French  or  the  English 
Court,  without  disgracing  myself  or  others;  and  it  was  pre- 
cisely of  this  that  I  had  spoken  to  my  Lord  Abbot;  and  here 
was  our  Holy  Father  himself  putting  into  words  those  very 
ambitions  that  I  had.  I  met  his  eyes,  and  knew  that  I  was 
beginning  to  flush. 

"Well,  my  son?"  he  said. 

"  Holy  Father,"  I  said,  "  my  virtues  and  capacities,  such 
as  they  are,  I  must  leave  to  my  superiors.  But  my  desires 
are  those  of  which  your  Holiness  has  spoken.  I  ask  no 
wages:  I  ask  only  to  be  allowed  to  serve  whatever  cause 
my  superiors  may  assign  to  me." 

He  continued  to  look  at  me,  and  for  very  shame  I  presently 
dropped  my  eyes  again. 

"Well,  my  Lord  Abbot?"  he  said  again.  "Let  us  hear 
what  you  have  to  say." 

Then  my  lord  began  to  speak;  and  before  he  was  half- 
done  I  wished  myself  anywhere  else  in  the  world.  For,  as 
great  men  alone  are  capable,  he  could  be  as  lavish  of  praise 
as  of  blame.  He  said  that  I  was  all  that  of  which  His  Holi- 
ness had  spoken;  that  I  had  been  obedient  and  exact  as  a 
novice;  and  he  said  other  things  too  of  which  even  under 
obedience  I  could  not  speak.  Then  too  he  added  what  he 
had  never  said  to  me  before,  that  he  was  not  sure  that  I  had 
no  vocation;  but  that  since  God  spoke  through  exterior  cir- 
cumstances as  well  as  through  interior  drawings,  His  Holy 
Will  seemed  to  point,  at  least  at  present,  to  a  life  in  the 
world  for  me;  that  he  was  sure  I  would  be  as  obedient  there 
as  here;  that  I  had  learned  not  only  to  use  my  tongue  but, 
what  is  much  harder,  to  hold  it.  And  he  ended  by  begging 
the  Holy  Father  to  take  me  into  his  service  and  to  use  me 
in  the  ways  in  which  perhaps  I  might  be  useful.  All  this,  of 
course,  I  now  understand  to  have  been  rehearsed  before;  but 


ODDSFISH!  7 

just  at  that  time  I  had  no  more  than  a  suspicion  that  this 
was  so. 

When  he  had  finished,  His  Holiness  once  more  turned  and 
looked  at  me;  and  I  upon  the  ground:  and  then  at  last  he 
spoke. 

"  My  son/'  he  said,  "  you  have  heard  what  his  Reverence 
has  said  of  you;  and  I  too  have  heard  it,  and  not  to-day  for 
the  first  time.  It  seems  that  you  are  right  in  thinking  that 
for  the  present  at  any  rate  you  have  no  vocation  to  Holy 
Religion.  Well,  then,  the  question  is  as  to  what  is  your 
Vocation,  for  Our  Lord  never  leaves  any  man  without  a 
Vocation  of  some  kind.  You  are  very  young  for  such  service 
as  that  on  which  we  think  to  send  you;  for  we  shall  send  you 
to  the  Court  of  England  first,  and  then  perhaps  now  and 
again  to  France;  but  you  look  five  years  at  least  older  than 
your  age,  and,  I  am  told,  have  ten  times  its  discretion.  I 
need  not  tell  you  that  you  will  have  no  very  heavy  mission 
given  to  you  at  first;  you  must  mix  freely  with  the  world 
and  use  your  wits  and  see  what  is  best  to  be  done,  sending 
back  reports  to  the  Cardinal  Secretary.  You  will  live  at 
your  own  charges,  as  you  yourself  have  said  that  you  wished 
to  do;  but  you  may  draw  upon  us  here  for  any  journeys  that 
you  may  undertake  upon  our  business  up  to  a  certain  amount. 
In  a  word  you  will  be  in  the  diplomatic  service  of  the  Holy 
See,  though  without  direct  office  or  commission  beyond  that 
which  I  now  give  you  myself.  You  will  have  full  liberty 
to  make  a  career  for  yourself  in  the  English  or  French 
Courts,  so  long  as  this  comes  always  second  to  your  service 
to  ourselves.  If  you  acquit  yourself  well — in  the  way  which 
will  be  explained  to  you  later — you  may  make  a  career  with 
us  too,  and  will  have  rewards  if  you  want  them:  but  for  the 
present  there  must  be  no  talk  of  that.  As  you  must  be 
in  the  world  yet  not  of  it;  so  you  must  be  of  the  Court  of 
Rome  yet  not  in  it.  It  is  a  delicate  position  that  you  will 
hold ;  and,  to  compensate  for  the  informality  of  it,  you  will 
have  the  more  liberty  on  your  side,  to  make  a  career,  as  I  have 
said,  or  to  marry,  if  God  calls  you  to  that,  or  in  any  other 
way.  .  .  .  Does  that  content  you,  my  son?  " 


8  ODDSFISH! 

I  do  not  know  what  I  said;  for  all  that  the  Holy  Father 
had  told  me  was  what  I  myself  had  said  to  my  Lord  Abbot. 
I  knew  that  affairs  in  England  were  in  a  very  strange  con- 
dition, that  the  Duke  of  York  who  was  next  heir  to  the 
throne  was  a  Catholic,  and  that  Charles  himself  was  favour- 
ably disposed  to  us;  and  I  knew  a  number  of  other  things 
too  which  will  appear  in  the  course  of  this  tale;  and  I  had 
said  to  my  Lord  that  sometimes  even  a  hair's  weight  will 
make  a  balance  tip;  and  had  asked  again  and  again  if  I 
might  not,  with  my  advantages,  such  as  they  were,  be  of 
more  service  to  Holy  Church  in  a  more  worldly  place  than 
the  cloister;  and  now  here  was  our  Most  Holy  Lord  himself 
granting  and  confirming  all  that  I  had  wished. 

"  There !  there ! "  he  said  to  me  presently,  when  I  had 
tried  to  say  what  was  in  my  heart.  "  Go  and  serve  God  in 
this  way  as  well  as  you  can;  and  remember  that  you  can  be 
as  well  sanctified  in  the  Court  of  a  King  as  in  a  cloister — and 
better,  if  it  is  the  Court  that  is  your  Vocation.  Go  and  do 
your  best,  my  son;  and  we  shall  see  what  you  can  make  of 
it." 

When  we  were  outside  again  I  saw  that  my  Lord  Abbot's 
face  was  all  suffused,  as  was  my  own,  for  there  was  some- 
thing strangely  fiery  and  keen  and  holy  about  Innocent; 
but  he  said  nothing,  except  that  we  must  now  go  and  see 
His  Eminence  the  Cardinal  Secretary  of  State,  for  I  was  to 
receive  my  more  particular  instructions  from  him. 


PART   ONE 


CHAPTER    I 

I  CAME  to  London  on  the  fifteenth  of  June,  having  left  it 
seven  years  before  in  company  with  my  father,  to  go  to  Paris, 
two  years  before  he  died. 

It  was  drawing  on  to  sunset  as  we  rode  up  through  the 
Southwark  fields  and,  at  the  top  of  a  little  eminence  in  the 
ground  saw  for  the  first  time  plainly  all  the  City  displayed 
before  us. 

We  came  along  the  Kent  road,  having  caught  sight  again 
and  again  of  such  spires  as  had  risen  after  the  Great  Fire, 
and  of  the  smoke  that  rose  from  the  chimneys;  but  I  may  say 
that  I  was  astonished  at  the  progress  the  builders  had  made 
from  what  I  could  remember  of  seven  years  before.  Then 
there  had  still  been  left  great  open  spaces  where  there  should 
have  been  none;  now  it  was  a  city  once  more;  and  even 
the  Cathedral  shewed  its  walls  and  a  few  roofs  above  the 
houses.  The  steeples  too  of  Sir  Christopher  Wren's  new 
churches  pricked  everywhere;  though  I  saw  later  that  there 
was  yet  much  building  to  be  done,  both  in  these  and  in 
many  of  the  greater  houses.  My  man  James  rode  with  me; 
(for  I  had  been  careful  not  to  form  too  great  intimacies  with 
the  party  with  whom  I  had  ridden  from  Dover) ;  and  I  re- 
marked to  him  upon  the  matter. 

"  And  there,  sir,"  he  said  to  me,  pointing  to  it,  "  is  the 
monument  no  doubt  that  they  have  raised  to  it." 

And  so  we  found  it  to  be  a  day  or  two  later — a  tall  pillar, 
with  an  inscription  upon  it  saying  that  the  Fire  had  been 
caused  by  the  Papists — a  black  lie,  as  every  honest  man 
knows. 

By  the  time  that  we  came  to  London  Bridge  the  sun  was 
yet  lower,  setting  in  a  glory  of  crimson,  so  that  it  was  hard 
to  see  against  it  much  of  Westminster,  across  the  South- 
wark marshes  and  the  river;  but  yet  I  could  make  out  the 
roofs  of  the  Abbey  and  of  some  of  the  great  buildings  of 

11 


12  ODDSFISH! 

Whitehall,  where  my  adventures,  I  thought,  were  to  lie.  But 
between  that  and  the  other  end  of  London  Bridge,  just  be- 
fore we  set  foot  on  it,  the  rest  of  the  City  was  plain  enough; 
and,  indeed,  it  was  a  splendid  sight  to  see  the  river,  all,  as 
it  seemed,  of  molten  gold  with  the  barges  and  the  wherries 
plying  upon  it,  and  the  great  houses  on  the  banks  and  their 
gardens  coming  down  to  the  water-gates,  and  the  forest  of 
chimneys  and  roofs  and  steeples  behind,  and  all  of  a  trans- 
lucent blue  colour.  The  sounds  of  the  City,  too,  came  to  us 
plainly  across  the  water — the  chiming  of  bells  and  the  firing 
of  some  sunset  gun,  and  even  the  noise  of  wheels  and  the 
barking  of  dogs  and  the  crowing  of  cocks — all  in  a  soft  medley 
of  human  music  that  made  my  heart  rejoice;  for  in  spite  of 
my  long  exile  abroad  and  my  French  and  Italianate  man- 
ners, I  counted  myself  always  an  Englishman. 

Now  the  first  design  that  I  had  in  mind,  and  for  which  I 
had  made  my  dispositions,  was  to  go  straight  to  my  lodging 
that  had  been  secured  for  me  by  my  cousin  Tom  Jermyn, 
where  he  was  to  meet  me,  and  where  he  too  would  lie  that 
night.  It  was  with  him  that  I  was  to  present  my  letters  at 
Whitehall  in  a  day  or  two,  after  I  had  bought  my  clothes 
and  other  necessaries;  in  short  he  was  to  be  my  cicerone  for 
a  while — for  he  was  a  Catholic  too,  like  myself — but  he  was 
not  to  be  told  that  I  had  come  on  any  mission  at  all,  until  at 
anyrate  I  had  well  tested  his  discretion. 

Now  the  mission  on  which  I  had  been  instructed  by  the 
Cardinal  Secretary  was  in  one  sense  a  very  light  one,  and 
in  another  a  very  difficult  one;  for  its  express  duties  were 
of  the  smallest. 

Affairs  in  England  at  this  time  were  in  a  very  strange 
condition.  First,  the  Duke  of  York,  who  was  heir  to  the 
throne,  was  a  declared  Catholic;  and  then  the  King  himself 
was  next  door  to  one,  in  heart  at  anyrate.  Certainly  he 
had  never  been  reconciled  to  the  Church,  though  the  report 
among  some  was  that  he  had  been,  during  his  life  in  Paris: 
but  in  heart,  as  I  have  said,  he  was  one,  and  waited  only 
for  a  favourable  occasion  to  declare  himself.  For  he  had 


ODDSFISH!  13 

been  so  bold  seventeen  years  before,  as  to  send  to  Rome 
a  scheme  by  which  the  Church  of  England  was  to  be  reunited 
to  Rome  under  certain  conditions,  as  that  the  mass,  or  parts 
of  it,  should  be  read  in  English,  that  the  Protestant  clergy 
who  would  submit  to  ordination  should  be  allowed  to  keep 
their  wives,  and  other  matters  of  that  kind.  His  answer 
from  Rome,  sent  by  word  of  mouth  only,  was  that  no  scheme 
could  be  nearer  to  the  heart  of  His  Holiness;  but  that  he 
must  not  be  too  precipitate.  Let  him  first  show  that  his 
subjects  were  with  him  in  his  laudable  desires;  and  then 
perhaps  the  terms  of  the  matter  might  be  spoken  of  again. 
For  the  King  himself,  and  indeed  even  the  Duke  too  at  this 
time  (though  later  he  amended  his  life),  Catholic  in  spirit, 
were  scarce  Christian  in  life.  The  ladies  of  the  Court  then 
must  not  be  overlooked,  for  they  as  much  as  any  statesman, 
and  some  think,  more,  controlled  the  king  and  his  brother 
very  greatly  at  this  time. 

But  this  was  not  all.  Next,  the  King  was  embroiled  in 
a  great  number  of  ways.  The  more  extreme  of  his  Protestant 
Subjects  feared  and  hated  the  Catholic  Church  as  much 
as  good  Catholics  hate  and  fear  the  Devil;  and  although  for 
the  present  our  people  had  great  liberty  both  at  Court  and 
elsewhere,  no  man  could  tell  when  that  liberty  might  be 
curtailed.  And,  indeed,  it  had  been  to  a  great  part  already 
curtailed  five  years  before  by  the  Test  Act,  forbidding  the 
Catholics  to  hold  any  high  place  at  the  Court  or  elsewhere, 
though  this  was  largely  evaded.  There  was  even  a  move- 
ment among  some  of  them,  and  among  the  most  important 
of  them  too,  in  the  House  of  Lords  and  elsewhere,  to  exclude 
the  Duke  of  York  from  the  succession;  and  they  advanced 
amongst  themselves  in  support  of  this  the  fear  that  a  French 
army  might  be  brought  in  to  subdue  England  to  the  Church. 
And,  worst  of  all,  as  I  had  learned  privately  in  Rome,  there 
was  some  substance  in  their  fear,  though  few  else  knew  it; 
since  the  King  was  in  private  treaty  with  Louis  for  this  very 
purpose.  Again,  a  further  embroilment  lay  in  the  proposi- 
tions that  had  been  made  privately  to  the  King  that  he  should 
rid  himself  of  his  Queen — Catherine — on  the  pretext  that 


14  ODDSFISH! 

she  had  borne  no  child  to  him,  and  could  not,  and  marry 
instead  some  Protestant  princess.  Lastly,  and  most  impor- 
tant of  all,  so  greatly  was  Charles  turned  towards  the  Church, 
that  he  had  begged  more  than  once,  and  again  lately,  that 
a  priest  might  be  sent  to  him  to  be  always  at  hand,  in  the 
event  of  his  sudden  sickness,  whom  none  else  knew  to  be 
a  priest;  and  it  was  this  last  matter,  I  think,  that  had  de- 
termined the  Holy  Father  to  let  me  go,  as  I  had  wished, 
though  I  was  no  priest,  to  see  how  the  King  would  bear 
himself  to  me;  and  then,  perhaps  afterwards,  a  priest  might 
be  sent  as  he  desired. 

This  then  was  the  mission  on  which  I  was  come  to  Lon- 
don. 

I  was  to  present  myself  at  Court  and  place  myself  at  His 
Majesty's  disposal.  The  letters  that  I  carried  were  no  more 
than  such  as  any  gentleman  might  bring  with  him;  but  the 
King  had  been  told  beforehand  who  I  was,  and  that  I  was 
come  to  be  a  messenger  or  a  go-between  if  he  so  wished, 
with  him  and  Rome.  So  much  the  King  was  told,  and  the 
Duke.  But  on  my  side  I  was  told  a  little  more — that  I  was 
to  do  my  utmost,  if  the  King  were  pleased  with  me,  to  fur- 
ther his  conversion  and  his  declaration  of  himself  as  a  Cath- 
olic; that  I  was  to  mix  with  all  kinds  of  folks,  and  observe 
what  men  really  thought  of  all  such  matters  as  these,  and  send 
my  reports  regularly  to  Rome;  that  I  was  to  place  myself 
at  the  King's  service  in  any  way  that  I  could — in  short  that 
I  was  to  follow  my  discretion  and  do,  as  a  layman  may  some- 
times even  more  than  a  priest,  all  that  was  in  my  power  for 
the  furtherance  of  the  Catholic  cause. 

Now  it  may  be  wondered  perhaps  how  it  was  that  I,  who 
was  so  young,  should  be  entrusted  with  such  matters  as 
these.  Here  then,  I  am  bound  to  say,  however  immodest  it 
may  appear,  that  I  have  had  always  the  art  of  making  friends 
easily  and  of  commending  myself  quickly.  I  had  lived  too 
in  the  societies  of  both  Paris  and  Rome;  and  I  had  the  ac- 
complishments of  a  gentleman  as  well  as  his  blood.  I  was 
thought  a  pleasant  fellow,  that  is  to  say,  who  could  make 
himself  agreeable;  and  I  certainly  had  too — and  I  am  not 


ODDSFISH!  15 

ashamed  to  say  this — but  one  single  ambition  in  the  world, 
and  that  was  to  serve  God's  cause:  and  these  things  do  not 
always  go  together  in  this  world.  Last  of  all,  it  must  be 
observed,  that  no  very  weighty  secrets  were  entrusted  to 
me:  I  bore  no  letters;  and  I  had  been  told  no  more  of  affairs 
in  general  than  such  as  any  quick  and  intelligent  man  might 
pick  up  for  himself.  Even  should  I  prove  untrustworthy  or 
indiscreet,  or  even  turn  traitor,  no  very  great  harm  would  be 
done.  If,  upon  the  other  hand,  I  proved  ready  and  capable, 
all  that  I  could  learn  in  England  and,  later  perhaps,  in 
France,  would  serve  me  well  in  the  carrying  out  of  weightier 
designs  that  might  then  be  given  into  my  charge. 

Such  then  I  was ;  and  such  was  my  mission,  on  this  fifteenth 
day  of  June,  as  I  rode  up  with  James  my  man — a  servant 
found  for  me  in  Rome,  who  had  once  been  in  the  service  of 
my  Lord  Stafford — to  the  door  of  the  lodgings  engaged  for 
me  in  Covent  Garden  Piazza,  above  a  jeweller's  shop. 

It  was  after  sunset  that  we  came  there;  and  all  the  way 
along  the  Strand,  until  we  nearly  reached  the  York  Stairs, 
I  had  said  nothing  to  my  man,  but  had  used  my  eyes  instead, 
striving  to  remember  what  I  could  of  seven  years  before. 
The  houses  of  great  folk  were  for  the  most  part  on  my  left — 
Italianate  in  design,  with  the  river  seen  between  them,  and 
lesser  houses,  of  the  architecture  that  is  called  "  magpie," 
on  the  right.  The  way  was  very  foul,  for  there  had  been 
rain  that  morning,  and  there  seemed  nothing  to  carry  the 
filth  away:  in  places  faggots  had  been  thrown  down  to  en- 
able carts  to  pass  over.  The  Strand  was  very  full  of  folk 
of  all  kinds  going  back  to  their  houses  for  supper. 

Covent  Garden  Piazza  was  a  fairer  place  altogether.  It 
was  enclosed  in  railings,  and  a  sun-dial  stood  in  the  centre; 
and  on  the  south  was  the  space  for  the  market,  with  a  cobbled 
pavement.  To  the  east  of  St.  Paul's  Church  stood  the  greater 
houses,  built  on  arcades,  where  many  fashionable  people  of 
the  Court  lived  or  had  their  lodgings,  and  it  was  in  one  of 
these  that  I  too  was  to  lodge:  for  I  had  bidden  my  Cousin 
Jermyn  to  do  the  best  he  could  for  me,  and  his  letter  had 


16  ODDSFISH! 

reached  me  at  Dover,  telling  me  to  what  place  I  was  to 
come. 

As  I  sat  on  my  horse,  waiting  while  my  man  went  in  to 
one  of  the  doorways  to  inquire,  a  gentleman  ran  suddenly  out 
of  another,  with  no  hat  on  his  head. 

"  Why,  you  are  my  Cousin  Roger,  are  you  not?  "  he  cried 
from  the  steps. 

"  Then  you  are  my  Cousin  Tom  Jermyn,"  I  said. 

"The  very  man!"  he  cried  back;  and  ran  down  to  hold 
my  stirrup. 

All  the  way  up  the  stairs  he  was  talking  and  I  was  ob- 
serving him.  He  seemed  a  hearty  kind  of  fellow  enough, 
with  a  sunburnt  face  from  living  in  the  country;  and  he  wore 
his  own  hair.  He  was  still  in  riding-dress;  and  he  told  me, 
before  we  had  reached  the  first  landing,  that  he  was  come 
but  an  hour  ago  from  his  house  at  Hare  Street,  in  Hertford- 
shire. 

"  And  I  have  brought  little  Dorothy  with  me,"  he  cried. 
"You  remember  little  Dorothy?  She  is  a  lady  of  quality 
now,  aged  no  less  than  sixteen;  and  is  come  up  to  renew 
her  fal-lals  for  her  cousin's  arrival;  for  you  must  come  down 
with  us  to  Hare  Street  when  your  business  is  done." 

I  cannot  say  that  even  after  all  this  heartiness,  I  thought 
very  much  of  my  Cousin  Tom.  He  spoke  too  loud,  I  thought, 
on  the  common  stair:  but  I  forgot  all  that  when  I  came  into 
the  room  that  was  already  lighted  with  a  pair  of  wax  candles 
and  set  eyes  on  my  Cousin  Dorothy,  who  stood  up  as  we 
came  in,  still  in  her  riding-dress,  with  her  whip  and  gloves 
on  the  table.  Now  let  me  once  and  for  all  describe  my 
Cousin  Dorothy;  and  then  I  need  say  no  more.  She  was 
sixteen  years  old  at  this  time — as  her  father  had  just  told 
me.  She  was  of  a  pale  skin,  with  blue  eyes  and  black  lashes 
and  black  hair;  but  she  too  was  greatly  sunburnt,  with  the 
haymaking  (as  her  father  presently  told  me  again;  for  she 
spoke  very  little  after  we  had  saluted  one  another).  She 
was  in  a  green  skirt  and  a  skirted  doublet  of  the  same  colour, 
and  wore  a  green  hat  with  a  white  feather;  but  those  thinj 


ODDSFISH!  17 

I  did  not  remember  till  I  was  gone  to  bed  and  was  thinking 
of  her.  It  is  a  hard  business  for  a  lover  to  speak  as  he  should 
of  the  maid  who  first  taught  him  his  lessons  in  that  art; 
but  I  think  it  was  her  silence,  and  the  look  in  her  eyes,  that 
embodied  for  me  at  first  what  I  found  so  dear  afterwards. 
She  was  neither  tall  nor  short;  she  was  very  slender;  and 
she  moved  without  noise.  All  these  things  I  write  down 
now  from  my  remembrance  of  the  observations  that  I  made 
afterwards.  It  would  be  foolish  to  say  that  I  loved  her 
so  soon  as  I  saw  her;  for  no  man  does  that  in  reality,  what- 
ever he  may  say  of  it  later;  I  was  aware  only  that  here  was 
a  maid  whose  presence  made  the  little  room  very  pleasant 
to  me,  and  with  whom  taking  supper  would  be  something 
more  than  the  swallowing  of  food  and  drink. 

The  rooms  of  my  lodging  were  good  enough,  as  I  saw  when 
my  Cousin  Tom  flung  open  the  doors  to  show  me  them  all. 
They  were  three  in  number:  this  room  into  which  we  had 
first  come  from  the  stairs  was  hung  in  green  damask,  with 
candles  in  sconces  between  the  panels  of  the  stuff;  the  door 
on  the  left  opened  into  the  room  where  my  Cousin  Dorothy 
would  lie,  with  her  maid ;  and  that  on  the  right  my  Cousin 
Tom  and  I  would  share  between  us.  The  windows  of  all  three 
looked  out  upon  the  piazza. 

He  said  a  great  number  of  times  that  he  was  sorry  that 
he  had  brought  up  his  daughter  without  giving  me  warning; 
but  that  the  maid  had  set  her  heart  on  it  and  would  take 
no  denial.  (This  I  presently  discovered  to  be  wholly  false.) 
For  a  week,  he  said,  and  no  more,  I  should  be  discommoded; 
and  after  that,  when  I  had  come  back  from  Hare  Street,  I 
should  be  able  to  entertain  my  friends  in  peace. 

I  answered  him,  of  course,  with  the  proper  compliments; 
but  I  liked  his  manner  less  than  ever.  He  was  too  boisterous, 
I  thought,  on  a  first  meeting;  and  too  hearty  in  his  expres- 
sions of  goodwill.  When  we  were  set  down  to  supper,  he 
began  again,  with  what  I  thought  a  good  deal  of  indiscretion. 

"  So  you  are  come  from  Rome ! "  he  said  loudly,  "  and 
from  a  monastery  too,  as  I  hear.  Well,  no  man  loves  a 


18  ODDSFISH! 

monk  more  than  I  do — in  their  monasteries;  but  I  am  gl 
you  are  not  to  be  one.     We  will  teach  him  better  here — eh, 
Dolly,  my  dear  ?  " 

It  was  only  my  man  James  who  was  in  the  room  when  he 
spoke;  yet  as  soon  as  he  was  gone  out  to  fetch  another  dish 
I  thought  I  had  best  say  a  word. 

"Cousin,"  I  said,  "with  your  leave;  I  think  it  best  not 
to  speak  of  monasteries — 

He  interrupted  me. 

"  Why,  you  need  fear  nothing,"  he  cried.  "  We  Catholics 
are  all  in  the  fashion  these  days.  Why,  there  is  Mr.  Huddle- 
ston  that  goes  about  in  his  priest's  habit:  and  the  Capuchins 
at  St.  James',  and  the  very  Jesuits  too — 

"  I  think  it  would  be  better  not "  I  began. 

"Oho!"  cried  Cousin  Tom.  "That  is  in  the  wind,  is  it? 
Why,  I'll  be  as  mum  as  a  mouse!  " 

I  did  not  know  what  he  meant;  and  I  supposed  that  he 
did  not  know  himself,  unless  indeed  by  sheer  blundering  he 
had  pitched  upon  the  truth  that  I  was  come  on  a  mission. 
But  so  soon  as  James  was  in  the  room  again,  he  began  upon 
the  other  tack,  and  talked  of  Prince  this  and  the  Duke  of  that, 
with  whom  I  might  be  supposed  to  be  on  terms  of  intimacy, 
winking  on  me  all  the  while,  so  that  my  man  saw  it.  How- 
ever, I  answered  him  civilly.  I  could  do  no  less;  for  he 
was  my  cousin,  and  in  a  manner  my  host;  and,  most  of  all, 
I  must  depend  upon  him  for  a  few  days  at  least,  to  tell  me 
how  I  must  set  about  my  audiences  and  my  personal  affairs. 

My  Cousin  Dorothy  said  little  or  nothing  all  this  time; 
but  sat  with  downcast  eyes,  giving  a  look  now  and  again 
at  the  table  to  see  if  we  had  all  that  we  needed;  for  she 
was  housekeeper  at  Hare  Street,  her  mother  having  died  ten 
years  before,  and  she  herself  being  the  only  child.  She  did 
not  look  at  me  at  all,  or  shew  any  displeasure;  and  yet  it 
seemed  to  me  that  she  was  not  best  pleased  with  her  father's 
manners.  Once,  towards  the  end  of  supper,  when  James  came 
behind  him  with  the  wine-jug,  I  saw  her  shake  her  head  at 
him;  and,  indeed,  Cousin  Tom  was  already  pretty  red  in  the 
face  with  all  that  he  had  drunk. 


ODDSFISH!  19 

When  the  meal  was  finished  at  last,  and  the  table  cleared, 
and  the  servants  gone  downstairs  to  their  own  supper,  he 
began  again  with  his  talk,  stretching  his  legs  in  the  window- 
seat  where  he  sat;  while  I  sat  still  in  my  chair  wheeled  away 
from  the  table,  and  my  Cousin  Dorothy  went  in  and  out 
of  the  rooms,  bestowing  the  luggage  that  she  and  her  maid 
had  unpacked.  I  watched  her  as  she  went  to  and  fro,  tell- 
ing myself  (as  some  lads  will,  who  pride  themselves  on  being 
come  to  manhood)  that  she  was  only  a  little  maid. 

"  As  to  your  affairs,  Cousin  Roger,"  he  said,  "  they  will 
soon  be  determined.  I  take  it  that  when  you  have  kissed 
His  Majesty's  hand  and  paid  your  duty  to  the  Duke,  you 
will  have  done  all  that  you  should  for  the  present." 

I  did  not  contradict  him;  but  he  was  not  to  be  restrained. 

"You  are  come  to  seek  your  fortune,  no  doubt:"  (he 
winked  on  me  again  as  he  said  this,  to  draw  attention  to  his 
discretion) ;  "  and  there  is  nothing  else  in  the  world  but 
that,  no  doubt,  that  brings  you  to  England."  (He  said 
this  with  an  evident  irony  that  even  a  child  would  have  un- 
derstood.) "  Not  that  you  have  not  a  very  pretty  fortune 
already :  I  understand  that  it  is  near  upon  a  thousand  pounds 
a  year;  and  great  estates  in  Normandy  too,  when  you  shall 
be  twenty-eight  years  old.  I  am  right,  am  I  not  ?  " 

Now  he  was  right;  but  I  wondered  that  he  should  take 
such  pains  to  know  it  all. 

"  There  or  thereabouts,"  I  said. 

"  That  condition  of  twenty-eight  years  is  a  strange  one," 
he  went  on.  "  Now  what  made  your  poor  father  fix  upon 
that,  I  wonder?" 

I  told  him  that  my  father  held  that  a  man's  life  went  by 
sevens,  and  that  every  man  was  a  boy  till  he  was  twenty- 
one,  a  fool  till  he  was  twenty-eight,  and  a  man,  by  God's 
grace,  after  that. 

"  Ah,  that  was  it,  was  it?  "he  said,  stretching  his  legs  yet 
further.  "  I  have  often  wondered  as  to  how  that  was." 

And  that  shewed  me  that  his  mind  must  have  run  a  good 
deal  upon  my  fortunes;  but  as  yet  I  did  not  understand  the 
reason. 


20  ODDSFISH! 

When,  presently,  my  Cousin  Dorothy  had  shut  the  door 
of  her  room,  and  my  man  was  gone  down  again  to  the  horses, 
he  began  again  on  his  old  tack. 

"  You  and  I,  Cousin  Roger,"  he  said,  "  will  soon  under- 
stand one  another.  I  knew  that  as  soon  as  I  clapped  eyes 
on  you.  Come,  tell  me  what  your  business  is  here.  I'm 
as  close  as  the  grave  over  a  friend's  secrets." 

"  My  dear  cousin,"  I  said,  "  I  do  not  know  what  business 
you  mean.  Was  not  my  letter  explicit  enough?  I  am 
come  to  live  here  as  an  English  gentleman.  What  other 
business  should  I  have  ?  " 

He  winked  again  at  me. 

"  Yes,  yes,"  he  said.  "  And  now  having  done  your  duty 
to  your  discretion,  do  it  to  your  friendship  for  me  too.  I 
know  very  well  that  a  man  who  comes  from  a  Roman  monas- 
tery, with  letters  from  the  French  ambassador,  does  not  come 
for  nothing.  Is  there  some  new  scheme  on  hand? — for  the 
honour  of  Holy  Church,  no  doubt  ?  " 

I  thanked  God  then  that  I  had  said  not  one  word  in  my 
letter  that  Shaftesbury  himself  might  not  have  read.  I  had 
been  in  two  minds  about  it;  but  had  determined  to  wait  until 
I  saw  my  cousin  and  learned  for  myself  what  kind  of  man 
he  was. 

"  My  dear  cousin,"  I  said  again,  "  even  if  I  had  come  on 
some  such  mission,  I  should  assure  you,  as  I  do  now,  that  it 
was  nothing  of  the  kind.  How  else  could  such  missions  be 
kept  secret  at  all?  It  would  be  a  secretum  commissum  in 
any  case;  as  the  theologians  would  say.  I  can  but  repeat 
what  I  said  in  my  letter  to  you;  and,  if  you  will  think  of  it,  you 
will  see  that  it  is  not  likely  that  any  matter  of  importance 
would  be  entrusted  to  a  young  man  of  my  age." 

That  seemed  to  quiet  him.  I  have  often  noticed  that  to 
appeal  to  the  experience  and  wisdom  of  a  fool  is  the  surest 
way  to  content  him. 

He  began  then  to  talk  of  the  Court;  and  it  would  not  be 
decent  of  me  to  record  even  a  tenth  part  of  the  gossip  he  told 
me  regarding  the  corruption  that  prevailed  in  Whitehall. 


ODDSFISH!  21 

Much  of  it  was  no  doubt  true;  and  a  great  deal  more  than 
he  told  me  in  some  matters;  but  it  came  pouring  out  from 
him,  and  with  such  evident  pleasure  to  himself,  that  it  was 
all  I  could  do  to  preserve  a  pleasant  face  towards  him.  He 
told  me  of  the  little  orange-girl,  Nell  Gwyn,  who  was  now 
just  twenty-eight  years  old;  and  how  she  lived  here  and 
there  as  the  King  gave  her  houses — in  Pall  Mall,  and  in 
Sandford  House  in  Chelsea,  and  at  first  at  the  "  Cock  and 
Pie"  in  Drury  Lane;  and  how  her  hair  was  of  a  reddish 
brown,  and  how,  when  she  laughed  her  eyes  disappeared  in 
her  head;  and  of  the  Duchess  of  Cleveland,  that  was  once 
Mrs.  Palmer  and  then  my  Lady  Castlemaine,  now  in  France; 
and  of  the  Duchess  of  Portsmouth,  and  her  son  created 
Duke  of  Richmond  three  years  ago;  and  of  the  mock  mar- 
riage that  was  celebrated,  in  my  Lord  Arlington's  house  at 
Euston,  seven  years  ago  between  her  and  the  King.  And 
these  things  were  only  the  more  decent  matters  of  which  he 
spoke;  and  of  all  he  spoke  with  that  kind  of  chuckling  pleas- 
ure that  a  heavy  country  squire  usually  shews  in  such  things, 
so  that  I  nearly  hated  him  as  he  sat  there.  For  to  myself 
such  things  seem  infinitely  sorrowful;  and  all  tne  more  so 
in  such  a  man  as  the  King  was ;  and  they  seemed  the  more  sor- 
rowful the  more  that  I  knew  of  him  later ;  for  he  had  so  much 
of  the  supernatural  in  him  after  all,  and  knew  what  he  did. 

Then  presently  my  Cousin  Jermyn  began  upon  the  Duke; 
and  at  that  I  nearly  loosed  my  tongue  at  him  altogether. 
For  I  knew  very  well  that  the  guilt  of  the  Duke  was  heavier 
even  than  the  guilt  of  the  King,  since  James  had  the  grace 
of  the  Sacraments  to  help  him  and  the  light  of  the  Faith 
to  guide  him.  But  I  judged  it  better  not  to  shew  my  anger, 
since  I  was,  as  the  Holy  Father  had  told  me,  to  be  "in  the 
world/'  though  interiorly  not  of  it:  and  so  I  feigned  sleep 
instead,  and  presently  had  to  snore  aloud  before  my  cousin 
could  see  it:  and,  as  he  stopped  speaking,  my  Cousin  Dorothy 
came  in  to  bid  us  good-night. 

"  Why,  I  have  been  half  asleep,"  I  said.  "  I  am  tired  with 
my  journey.  What  were  you  saying,  cousin?" 


22  ODDSFISH! 

He  leered  again  at  that,  as  if  to  draw  attention  to  his 
daughter's  presence. 

"  Why,  we  were  talking  of  high  matters  of  state,"  he  said, 
"  when  you  fell  asleep — matters  too  high  for  little  maids 
to  hear  of.  Give  me  a  kiss,  my  dear/' 

When  she  came  to  me,  I  kissed  her  on  the  forehead,  and 
not  upon  the  cheek  which  she  offered  me. 

"  Is  that  the  Italian  custom  ? "  cried  my  Cousin  Tom. 
"  Why,  we  can  teach  you  better  than  that — eh,  Dolly  ?  " 

She  said  nothing  to  that;  but  looked  at  me  a  little  anxiously 
and  then  at  the  table  where  the  wine  stood;  and  I  thought 
that  I  understood  her. 

"  Well,  cousin/'  I  said,  "  I,  too,  had  best  be  off  to  bed. 
We  had  best  both  go.  I  do  not  want  to  lie  awake  half  the 
night;  and  if  you  wake  me  when  you  come  to  bed,  I  shall 
not  sleep  again." 

He  tried  to  persuade  me  to  stay  and  drink  a  little  more; 
but  I  would  not:  and  for  very  courtesy  he  had  to  come  with 
me. 

In  spite  of  my  drowsiness,  however,  when  I  was  once  in 
bed  and  the  light  was  out  I  could  not  at  once  sleep.  I  heard 
the  watchman  go  by  and  cry  that  it  was  a  fine  night;  and 
I  heard  the  carriages  go  by,  and  the  chairs;  and  saw  the 
light  of  the  links  on  the  ceiling  at  the  end  of  my  bed;  and 
I  heard  a  brawl  once  and  the  clash  of  swords  and  the  scream 
of  a  woman;  as  well  as  the  snoring  of  my  Cousin  Tom,  who 
fell  asleep  at  once,  so  full  he  was  of  French  wine.  But  it  was 
not  these  things  that  kept  me  awake,  except  so  far  as  they 
were  signs  to  me  of  where  I  was. 

For  here  I  was  in  London  at  last,  which,  whatever  men 
may  say,  is  the  heart  of  the  world,  as  Rome  is  the  heart  of 
the  Church;  and  there,  within  a  gunshot,  was  the  gate  of 
Whitehall  where  the  King  lived,  and  where  my  fortunes  lay. 
Neither  was  I  here  as  a  mere  Englishman  come  home  again 
after  seven  years,  but  as  a  messenger  from  the  Holy  See, 
with  work  both  to  find  and  to  do.  To-morrow  I  must  set 
out,  to  buy,  as  I  may  say,  the  munitions  of  war — my  clothes 
and  my  new  periwigs  and  my  swords  and  my  horses;  and 


ODDSFISH!  23 

then  after  that  my  holy  war  was  to  begin.  I  had  my  letters 
not  only  to  the  Court,  but  to  the  Jesuits  as  well — though  of 
these  I  had  been  careful  to  say  nothing  to  my  cousin;  for 
I  could  present  these  very  well  without  his  assistance.  And 
this  holy  war  I  was  to  carry  on  by  my  own  wits,  though  a 
soldier  in  that  great  army  of  Christ  that  fights  continually 
with  spiritual  weapons  against  the  deceits  of  Satan. 

I  wondered,  then,  as  I  lay  there  in  the  dark,  as  to  whether 
this  war  would  be  as  bloodless  as  seemed  likely;  whether 
indeed  it  were  true  (and  if  true,  whether  it  were  good  or 
bad)  that  Catholics  should  again  almost  be  in  the  fashion, 
as  my  cousin  had  said.  There  were  still  those  old  bloody 
laws  against  us;  was  it  so  sure  that  they  would  never  be 
revived  again?  And  if  they  were  revived,  how  should  I 
bear  myself;  and  how  would  my  Cousin  Jermyn,  and  all 
those  other  Catholics  of  whom  London  was  so  full? 

Of  all  these  things,  then,  I  thought;  but  my  last  thoughts, 
before  I  commended  myself  finally  to  God  and  Our  Lady, 
were  of  my  Cousin  Dorothy — that  little  maid,  as  I  feigned  to 
myself  to  think  of  her.  Yes ;  I  would  go  down  to  Hare  Street 
in  Hertfordshire  so  soon  as  I  conveniently  could,  without 
neglecting  my  business.  It  would  be  pleasant  to  see  what 
place  it  was  that  my  Cousin  Dorothy  called  her  home. 


CHAPTER     II 

IT  was  again  a  fair  evening,  five  days  later,  when,  in  one 
of  my  new  suits,  with  my  new  silver-handled  sword,  I  set  out  on 
foot  to  Whitehall  to  see  the  King  first  and  the  Duke  after- 
wards, as  word  had  been  brought  me  from  the  Chamberlain's 
office;  for  I  had  presented  my  letters  on  the  morning  after 
I  had  come  to  London. 

Those  four  days  had  passed  busily  and  merrily  enough 
in  company  with  my  cousins.  The  first  two  days  I  had  spent 
in  the  shops,  and  had  expended  above  forty  pounds,  with 
both  my  cousins  to  advise  me.  It  would  not  be  to  the  pur- 
pose to  describe  all  that  I  bought;  but  there  was  a  blue  suit 
I  had,  that  was  made  very  quickly,  and  that  was  the  one  I 
wore  when  I  went  to  see  the  King,  that  was  very  fine.  All 
was  of  blue;  the  coat  was  square-cut,  with  deep  skirts,  and 
had  great  laced  cuffs  that  turned  up  as  high  as  the  elbow, 
shewing  the  ruffled  wristbands  of  the  shirt  beneath ;  the  waist- 
coat below — in  the  new  fashion — was  so  long  as  to  come 
down  to  my  knees;  and  both  coat  and  waistcoat  had  buttons 
all  the  way  down  the  front,  with  silver  trimming.  My 
stockings — for  the  brodequins  were  out  of  fashion  again  now — 
were  of  a  darker  blue,  and  my  shoes  of  strong  leather,  with 
a  great  rosette  upon  each,  for  buckles  were  not  usual  at  this 
time.  Then  my  cravat  was  of  Flanders  lace;  and  my  Cousin 
Dorothy  shewed  me  how  to  fasten  it  so  that  the  ends  lay 
down  square  in  front;  and  my  hat  was  round  with  a  blue  fa- 
vour in  it  upon  the  left  side;  and  I  wore  it  with  what  was 
called  the  "  Monmouth  cock."  I  carried  a  long  cane  in  my 
hand,  with  a  silver  head,  and  a  pair  of  soft  leather  gloves, 
without  cuffs  to  them.  Then,  as  my  own  hair  was  still  short, 
I  bought  a  couple  of  dark  periwigs  of  my  own  colour,  and 
put  on,  the  better  to  go  to  Whitehall  in.  Besides  these  things 
I  had  three  other  suits,  one  very  plain,  of  grey,  and  two  less 
plain;  a  case  of  pistols,  and  a  second  sword,  very  plain  and 

24 


ODDSFISH!  25 

strong,  in  a  leather  scabbard,  with  its  belt;  two  pair  of  rid- 
ing-boots, besides  other  shoes;  and  two  dozen  of  shirts  and 
cravats,  of  which  half  were  plain,  without  lace. 

While  we  went  to  and  fro  on  all  those  businesses,  we  saw 
something  both  of  the  town  and  of  the  folks.  On  our  way 
back  from  Cheapside  one  day,  we  turned  aside  to  see  the 
Monument,  with  the  lying  inscription  upon  it;  and  then  to 
see  the  Cathedral,  which  was  already  of  a  considerable  height. 
Of  the  persons  of  importance  we  saw  one  day  the  Duke  of 
Buckingham  in  his  coach,  drawn  by  two  white  horses,  with 
riders  before  and  behind,  pass  along  towards  Whitehall;  and 
a  chair  went  by  us  one  evening  in  which,  it  was  said,  was 
the  Duchess  of  Portsmouth  (once  Madame  de  la  Querou- 
aille,  or  Mrs.  Carwell) ;  but  it  was  so  closely  guarded  that  I 
could  not  see  within.  Also,  we  saw  my  Lord  Shaftesbury,  a 
sly  yet  proud  looking  fellow,  I  thought  him,  walking  with 
Mr.  Pepys,  who  fell  later  under  suspicion  of  being  a  Catholic, 
because  his  servant  was  one. 

On  the  Saturday  evening  we  went  to  take  the  air  in  St. 
James*  Park,  and  walked  by  Rosamund's  pond;  and  here 
we  but  just  missed  seeing  the  King  and  Queen;  for  as  we 
came  into  it  from  Charing  Cross  (where  I  had  seen  for  the 
first  time  in  the  public  street  the  Punch-show,  which  I  think 
must  take  its  origin  from  Pontius"  Pilate)  their  Majesties 
rode  out — hand  in  hand,  I  heard  later — through  the  Park 
Gate  into  the  Horse-Guards,  and  so  to  Whitehall,  with  guards 
in  buff  and  steel  following.  There  was  a  great  company 
of  gentlemen  and  ladies  who  rode  behind,  of  whom  we  caught 
a  sight;  but  they  were  too  far  away  for  us  to  recognize  any 
of  them.  (I  saw,  too,  the  cress-carts  come  in  from  Tothill 
fields.) 

On  the  Sunday  morning  we  went  all  three  together  to  hear 
mass  sung  in  St.  James';  and  here  for  the  first  time  I  saw 
Mr.  Huddleston,  who  was  of  the  congregation,  who  was  in 
his  priest's  habit — as  my  cousin  had  told  me — for  this  was 
allowed  to  him  by  Act  of  Parliament,  because  he  had  saved 
the  King's  life  after  the  battle  of  Worcester.  He  was  a  man 
that  looked  like  a  scholar,  but  was  very  brown  with  the  sun, 


26  ODDSFISH! 

too.  We  could  not  see  the  Duke,  for  he  was  in  his  closet,  with 
the  curtains  half  drawn — a  tribune,  as  we  should  call  it  in 
Rome.  It  was  very  sweet  to  me  to  hear  mass  again  after 
my  journey;  and  it  was  not  less  sweet  to  me  that  my  Cousin 
Dorothy  was  beside  me;  but  the  crush  was  so  great,  of  Pro- 
testants who  had  come  to  see  the  ceremonies,  as  well  as  of 
Catholics,  that  there  was  scarcely  room  even  to 'kneel  down 
at  the  elevation.  On  our  way  back  we  saw  Prince  Rupert, 
a  fat  pasty-faced  man,  driving  out  in  his  coach.  He  spent 
all  his  time  in  chymical  experiments,  I  was  told.  As  Sedley 
said,  he  had  exchanged  Naseby  for  Noseby. 

I  had  been  bidden,  on  the  Monday,  to  present  myself 
first  at  Mr.  Chiffinch's  lodgings  that  were  near  the  chapel, 
between  the  Privy  Stairs  and  the  Palace  Stairs;  and,  as  I 
was  before  my  time,  when  I  came  into  the  Court,  behind 
the  Banqueting  Hall,  I  turned  aside  to  see  the  Privy  Garden. 
A  fellow  in  livery,  of  whom  there  were  half  a  dozen  in  sight, 
asked  me  my  business  very  civilly;  and  when  I  told  him,  let 
me  go  through  by  the  Treasury  and  the  King's  laboratory, 
so  that  I  might  see  the  garden:  and  indeed  it  was  very  well 
worth  seeing.  There  were  sixteen  great  beds,  set  in  the 
rectangle,  with  paved  walks  between;  there  was  a  stone 
vase  on  a  pedestal,  or  a  statue,  in  the  centre  of  each  bed, 
and  a  great  sundial  in  the  midst  of  them  all.  There  were 
some  ladies  walking  at  the  further  end,  beneath  the  two  rows 
of  trees ;  and  the  sight  was  a  very  pretty  one,  for  the  sunlight 
was  still  on  part  of  the  garden  and  on  the  Bowling-Green 
beyond  the  trees;  and  the  flowers  and  the  ladies'  dresses, 
and  the  high  windows  that  flashed  back  the  light,  all  con- 
spired to  make  what  I  looked  upon  very  beautiful.  The 
lodgings  that  looked  on  to  the  Privy  Garden  and  the  Bowling- 
Green  were  much  coveted,  I  heard  later;  and  only  such  per- 
sonages as  Prince  Rupert,  my  Lord  Peterborough,  Sir  Philip 
Killigrew,  and  such  like,  could  get  them  there. 

Mr.  Chiffinch's  lodgings,  when  I  came  to  them,  were  not 
so  fine;  for  they  looked  out  upon  little  courts  on  both  sides, 
and  my  Lady  Arlington's  lodgings  blocked  his  view  to  the 


ODDSFISH!  27 

river.  I  went  up  the  stairs,  and  beat  upon  the  door  with 
my  cane:  and  a  voice  cried  to  me  to  enter. 

Now  I  had  heard  enough  of  Mr.  Chiffinch  to  make  me 
prejudge  him;  for  his  main  business,  it  seemed,  was  to  pander 
to  the  King's  pleasures;  and  he  had  his  rooms  so  near  the 
river,  it  was  said,  that  he  might  more  easily  meet  those 
who  came  by  water  and  take  them  up  to  His  Majesty's  rooms 
unobserved:  yet  when  I  saw  him,  I  understood  that  any 
prejudgement  was  unnecessary.  For  if  ever  man  bore  his 
character  in  his  face  it  was  Mr.  Chiffinch. 

He  had  risen  at  my  knock,  and  was  standing  in  the  light 
»f  the  window.  He  was  dressed  in  a  dark  suit,  very  plain, 
yet  of  very  rich  stuff,  and  had  laid  his  periwig  aside,  so  that 
I  could  see  his  features.  He  was  a  dark  secret-looking  man 
with  his  eyes  set  near  together,  and  with  a  lip  so  short  that 
it  seemed  as  if  he  sneered;  he  stooped  a  little  too.  Yet 
I  am  bound  to  say  that  his  manner  was  perfection  itself. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  I  said.     And  at  that  he  bowed. 

"I  am  Mr.  Roger  Mallock,"  I  said;  "and  I  was  bidden 
to  come  here  at  this  hour." 

"  I  am  honoured  to  meet  you,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said.  "  I 
have  had  His  Majesty's  instructions  very  particular  in  your 
regard.  I  am  ashamed  that  you  should  find  me  s6  unready; 
but  I  will  not  keep  you  above  five  minutes,  if  you  will  sit 
down  for  a  little." 

He  made  haste  to  set  me  a  chair  near  the  window;  and  with 
another  apology  or  two  he  went  out  of  a  second  door. 

The  room  in  which  he  left  me  was  like  the  suit  that  he 
wore — in  that  it  was  both  plain  and  rich.  There  were  three 
or  four  chairs  with  arms;  a  table,  with  twisted  legs,  on  which 
lay  a  great  heap  of  papers  and  a  pair  of  candlesticks:  and 
there  was  a  tall  lightly-carved  press,  with  locks,  between 
the  windows.  The  walls  were  plain,  with  a  few  good  en- 
gravings hung  upon  them.  I  went  up  to  examine  one,  and 
found  it  to  be  a  new  one,  by  Faithorne. 

Now  that  I  was  drawing  so  near  to  the  King,  I  found  my 
apprehensions  returning  upon  me,  for  half  my  success,  I  knew, 


£8  ODDSFISHl 

if  not  all,  turned  upon  the  manner  I  first  shewed  to  him.  I 
knew  very  well  that  I  could  bear  myself  with  sufficient  ad- 
dress; but  sufficient  address  was  not  all  that  was  needed: 
I  must  so  act  that  His  Majesty  would  remember  me  after- 
wards, and  with  pleasure.  Yet  how  was  I  to  ensure  this? 

As  I  was  so  thinking  to  myself,  Mr.  Chiffinch  came  in  again, 
having,  with  marvellous  speed,  changed  his  suit  into  one  of 
brown  velvet,  with  a  great  black  periwig,  from  which  his 
sharp  face  looked  out  like  a  ferret  from  a  hole. 

"I  must  ask  your  pardon,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  as  I  stood 
up  to  meet  him,  "  again  and  again ;  but  I  have  scarcely  an 
hour  to  myself  day  or  night.  Duty  treads  on  the  heels 
of  duty  all  day  long.  But  we  have  still  time:  His  Majesty 
does  not  expect  us  till  half-past  five." 

I  made  the  usual  compliments  and  answers,  to  which  he 
bowed  again;  and  then,  as  I  thought  he  would,  he  began 
upon  what  was  not  his  business — at  least  I  thought  not  then. 

"You  are  come  from  Rome,  I  hear.  I  trust  that  His 
Holiness  was  in  good  health  ?  " 

"  The  reports  were  excellent,"  I  said,  determined  not  to 
be  taken  in  this  way. 

"  You  have  seen  His  Holiness  lately,  no  doubt?  " 

"It  was  the  French  and  Spanish  ambassadors,"  I  said, 
"  who  gave  me  my  letters.  A  poor  gentleman  like  myself 
does  not  see  the  Holy  Father  once  in  a  twelvemonth." 

He  seemed  contented  with  that;  and  I  think  he  put  me 
down  as  something  of  a  well-bred  simpleton,  which  was  pre- 
cisely what  I  wished  him  to  think;  for  his  manner  changed  a 
little. 

"You  have  seen  His  Majesty  before,  no  doubt?" 

"  I  have  not  been  in  England  for  seven  years,"  I  said, 
smiling.  "  I  saw  His  Majesty  once  when  I  was  a  lad,  as  he 
went  to  dinner;  and  I  have  seen  him  once,  on  Saturday 
last;  at  least,  I  saw  the  top  of  his  hat  from  a  hundred  yards 
off." 

"And  the  Duke  of  York?"  he  asked. 

"  I  have  never  seen  the  Duke  of  York  in  my  life,  to  my 
knowledge,"  I  said. 


ODDSFISH!  29 

Now  I  saw  well  enough  what  he  was  after.  Without 
a  doubt  he  had  a  suspicion  that  I  was  an  emissary  in  some 
way  from  the  Holy  Father,  or  at  least  that  I  was  more  than 
I  appeared  to  be;  and  being  one  of  those  men  who  desire 
to  know  everything,  that  they  may  understand,  as  the  say- 
ing is,  which  way  the  cat  will  jump,  and  how  to  jump  with 
her,  he  was  determined  to  find  out  all  that  he  could.  On 
my  side,  therefore,  I  assumed  the  air  of  a  rather  stupid  gen- 
tleman, to  bear  out  better  the  character  that  I  had — that 
I  was  a  mere  gentleman  from  Rome,  recommended  by  the 
Catholic  ambassadors;  and  I  think  that,  for  the  time  at  any- 
rate,  he  took  me  so  to  be;  for  his  manner  became  less  in- 
quisitive. 

"  We  must  be  going  to  His  Majesty,  sir,"  he  said  pres- 
ently, rising;  and  then  he  added  as  if  by  chance:  "  You  are 
a  Catholic,  Mr.  Mallock?" 

"Why,  yes,"  I  said:  for  there  was  no  need  of  any  con- 
cealment on  the  point  of  my  religion. 

As  we  went  downstairs  and  along  the  passage  that  led 
by  Sir  Francis  Clinton's  lodgings,  he  began  to  speak  of  how 
I  was  to  behave  myself  to  the  King,  and  how  kiss  his  hand 
and  the  rest.  I  knew  very  well  all  these  things,  but  I  lis- 
tened to  him  as  if  I  did  not,  and  even  put  a  question  or  two; 
and  he  answered  me  very  graciously. 

"  You  should  be  very  modest  with  His  Majesty,'*  he  said. 
"  if  you  would  please  him.  He  likes  not  originals  over- 
much; or,  rather,  I  would  say — (but  it  must  not  be  repeated) — 
that  he  likes  to  be  the  only  original  of  the  company." 

And  when  Mr.  Chiffinch  said  that  I  knew  that  he  was  lying 
to  me;  for  the  very  opposite  was  the  truth;  and  I  under- 
stood that  he  still  had  his  suspicions  of  me  and  wished  me  to 
fail  with  the  King.  But  I  nodded  wisely,  and  thanked  him. 

A  couple  of  Yeomen  of  the  Guard — of  which  body  no 
man  was  less  than  six  feet  tall — stood  at  the  foot  of  the 
little  stairs  that  led  up  to  the  King's  lodgings;  and  these 
made  no  motion  to  hinder  the  King's  page  and  his  com- 
panion. So  English  were  they  that  they  did  not  even  turn 


30  ODDSFISH! 

their  eyes  as  we  went  through,  Mr.  Chiffinch  preceding  me 
with  an  apology. 

At  the  door  on  the  landing  of  the  first  floor  he  turned  to 
me  again  before  he  knocked. 

"His  Majesty  will  be  within  the  second  room/'  he  said. 
"  Will  you  wait,  Mr.  Mallock,  please,  in  this  first  anteroom, 
and  I  will  go  through.  This  is  a  private  reception  by  His 
Majesty.  There  will  be  no  formalities." 

He  tapped  upon  both  the  doors  that  were  one  inside  the 
other;  and  then  led  me  through.  The  first  chamber  was 
very  richly  furnished,  though  barely.  There  was  a  long 
table  with  chairs  about  it;  and  he  led  me  to  one  of  these. 
Then  with  a  nod  or  two  he  passed  on  to  a  second  door,  tapped 
upon  it  softly  and  went  through,  closing  it  behind  him.  I 
heard  a  woman's  laugh  as  he  went  through,  suddenly  broken 
off. 

There  was,  I  supposed  (and  as  I  learned  afterwards  to  be 
the  case)  one  other  way  at  least  out  of  the  King's  lodgings, 
through  his  private  library,  where  he  kept  all  his  clocks  and 
wheels  and  such-like;  for  when,  after  a  minute  or  two,  the 
door  opened  again  and  Mr.  Chiffinch  beckoned  me  in,  there 
was  no  woman  with  the  King. 

It  was  a  great  room — His  Majesty's  closet  as  it  was  called 
• — which  he  used  for  such  solitary  life  as  he  led;  and  while 
I  was  with  him,  and  afterwards  upon  other  occasions,  I  saw 
little  by  little  how  it  was  furnished.  The  table  in  the  midst, 
at  which  His  Majesty  wrote,  was  all  in  disorder;  it  was  piled 
high  with  papers  and  books,  for  he  would  do  what  writing 
or  reading  he  cared  to  do  by  fits  and  starts.  The  walls  were 
hung  with  panels  of  tapestry,  and  tall  curtains  of  brocade 
hung  at  the  windows.  Between  the  panels  were  pictures 
hung  upon  the  walls — three  or  four  flower-pictures  by 
Varelst;  three  pictures  of  horses  and  dogs  by  Hondius, 
and  a  couple  of  Dutch  pictures  by  Hoogstraaten.  Over  the 
fireplace  was  a  chimney-breast  by  Gibbons;  and  the  ceiling 
was  all  a-sprawl  with  gods  and  goddesses,  I  suppose  by  Verrio. 
In  the  windows,  which  looked  out  on  two  sides,  over  the  river 


ODDSFISH!  31 

and  into  a  little  court,  were  little  tables  covered  with  curi- 
ous things,  for  His  Majesty  delighted  in  such  ingenuities — 
Dutch  figures  in  silver,  clockwork,  and  the  like,  and  a  basket 
of  spaniels  lay  beneath  one  of  the  tables.  A  second  great 
table  stood  against  the  wall  on  the  further  side  from  that 
on  which  I  entered,  covered  with  retorts  and  instruments, 
and  behind  it  a  press,  and  near  it  sat  the  King.  The  floor 
was  carpeted  with  rush  matting,  loosely  woven,  with  rugs 
upon  it.  But  of  all  these  things  I  saw  little  or  nothing  at 
the  first,  for  Mr.  Chiffinch  was  gone  out  behind  me,  and  I 
was  alone  with  His  Majesty.  One  of  the  spaniels  had  given 
a  little  yelp  as  I  came  in;  but  disposed  himself  to  sleep 
again. 

Now  I  am  not  one  of  those  who  think  that  those  who  are 
noble  by  birth  must  always  be  noble  by  character,  though 
I  know  that  it  should  be  so.  I  knew,  too,  very  well  that 
Charles  was  less  than  noble  in  a  great  number  of  ways.  His 
women  did  what  they  liked  with  him;  he  would  spend  for- 
tunes on  those  who  pleased  him  and  did  him  nothing  but 
injury,  and  would  let  his  faithful  lovers  and  servants  go 
starve.  He  lived  always,  you  would  say,  only  for  the  flesh 
and  the  pride  of  the  eyes;  he  was  careless  and  selfish  and 
ungrateful;  in  short,  he  was  as  dissolute  as  a  man  could  be, 
or,  rather,  as  dissolute  as  a  king  could  be,  and  that  is  much 
more.  Yet  for  all  this,  he  was  a  man  of  an  extraordinary 
power,  if  he  had  cared  to  use  it.  It  was  said  of  him  that 
"he  could,  if  he  would,  but  that  he  would  not";  and  of  his 
brother  that  "  he  would  if  he  could,  but  that  he  could  not " ; 
and  I  know  no  better  epigram  on  the  two  than  that.  James 
was  all  intention  without  success;  and  Charles  all  success 
without  intention.  And  so  James  at  the  end  lived  and  died 
as  a  saint,  though  he  was  far  from  being  one  at  this  time;  and 
Charles  lived  and  died  a  sinner,  though,  thank  God,  a  penitent 
one. 

Now  although  I  knew  all  this  well  enough,  and  how  Charles' 
private  life  stank  in  the  nostrils  of  God  and  man,  I  cannot 
describe  how  he  affected  me  with  loyalty  and  compassion 


32  ODDSFISH! 

and  even  a  kind  of  love,  in  this  little  while  that  I  had  with 
him  in  private,  nor  how  these  emotions  grew  upon  me  the 
more  that  I  knew  him. 

He  was  sitting  in  his  great  chair,  not  yet  dressed  for  sup- 
per, for  his  wristbands  were  tumbled  and  turned  back,  and  his 
huge  dark  brown  periwig  was  ever  so  little  awry.  He  was 
in  a  dark  suit,  with  a  lace  cravat;  and  his  rosetted  shoes  were 
crossed  one  over  the  other  as  he  sat.  The  light  of  the  win- 
dow fell  full  upon  him  from  one  side,  shewing  his  swarthy 
face,  his  thin  close  moustaches,  and  his  heavy  eyes  under  his 
arched  brows — shewing  above  all  that  air  of  strange  and  lov- 
able melancholy  that  was  so  marked  a  trait  in  those  of  the 
Stuart  blood.  He  smiled  a  little  at  me,  but  did  not  move, 
except  to  put  out  his  hand.  I  came  across  the  floor,  kneeled 
and  kissed  his  hand,  then,  at  a  motion  from  him,  stood  up 
again. 

"  So  you  are  Mr.  Roger  Mallock,"  he  said.  "  Welcome  to 
England,  Mr.  Roger  Mallock.  You  bring  good  news  of  His 
Holiness,  I  hope." 

"  His  Holiness  does  very  well,  Sir,"  I  said. 

"  We  should  all  do  as  well  if  we  were  as  holy/'  said  the 
King.  "  And  you  come  to  look  after  my  soul,  I  am  informed." 

(He  said  this  with  a  kind  of  gravity  that  can  scarcely  be 
believed.) 

"I  am  no  priest,  Sir,"  I  said,  "  if  you  mean  that.  I  am 
only  a  forerunner,  at  the  best." 

"  Vox  clamantis  in  deserto"  said  the  King.  "  I  hope  I 
shall  be  no  Herod  to  cut  off  your  head.  But  it  is  very  kind 
of  you  to  come  to  this  wilderness.  And  have  you  seen  my 
brother  yet?" 

"I  am  to  see  his  Royal  Highness  immediately,"  I  said. 
"  I  waited  upon  Your  Maj  esty  first." 

"  Poor  James !  "  said  the  King.  "  He  wants  looking  after, 
I  think.  And  what  have  you  come  to  do  in  England,  Mr. 
Mallock?" 

Now  I  felt  that  I  was  cutting  a  poor  figure  at  present;  and 
that  I  must  say  something  presently,  if  I  could,  to  make  the 
King  remember  me  afterwards.  It  appeared  to  me  that  he 


ODDSFISH!  33 

was  trying  me,  as  he  tried  all  newcomers,  to  see  whether 
they  would  be  witty  or  amusing;  but,  for  the  life  of  me,  I 
could  think  of  nothing  to  say. 

"  I  am  come  to  put  myself  wholly  at  Your  Majesty's  dis- 
posal," I  said. 

"Come!  come!  That's  better,"  said  Charles.  "It  is 
usually  the  other  way  about.  Serous  servorum  Dei,  you 
know.  And  in  what  manner  do  you  propose  that  I  should 
use  you  ?  " 

"  I  will  clean  Your  Majesty's  shoes,  if  you  will.  Or  I  will 
run  errands  in  my  own.  Or  I  will  sing  psalms,  or  ditties; 
or  I  will  row  in  a  boat;  or  I  will  play  tennis,  or  fence.  I 
am  what  is  called  an  accomplished  young  gentleman,  Sir." 

Now  I  think  I  put  in  a  shade  too  many  clauses,  for  I  was 
a  little  agitated.  But  the  King's  face  lightened  up  very 
pleasantly. 

"  But  I  have  plenty  of  folks  who  can  do  all  that,"  he  said. 
"In  what  are  you  distinguished  from  the  rest?" 

Then  I  determined  on  a  bold  stroke;  for  I  knew  that  the 
King  liked  such  things,  if  they  were  not  too  bold. 

"  I  am  a  Jesuit  at  heart,  Sir,"  I  said.  "  I  desire  to  do 
these  things,  if  Your  Majesty  wills  it  so,  simply  that  I  may 
serve  His  Holiness  in  serving  Your  Majesty." 

"  Oho !  "  said  Charles ;  and  he  gathered  his  feet  under  him 
and  looked  at  me  more  closely.  I  met  his  eyes  fairly  and 
then  dropped  my  own. 

"  Oho !  That  is  frank  enough,  Mr.  Mallock.  You  know 
all  about  me,  I  suppose.  You  seem  very  young  for  such 
work.  How  old  are  you  ?  Twenty-five  ?  " 

"  I  pass  as  twenty-five,  Sir.     But  I  am  only  twenty-one !  " 

"  I  would  that  I  were !  "  said  Charles  earnestly.  "  And 
so  you  are  a  Jesuit  in  disguise — a  wolf  in  sheep's  clothing." 

"  No,  Sir.  I  am  a  Jesuit  at  heart  only,  in  that  I  would  do 
anything  in  God's  cause.  But  I  am  rather  a  sheep  in  wolf's 
clothing.  I  was  a  Benedictine  novice  till  lately." 

He  seemed  not  to  hear  me.  He  had  dropped  his  chin  on 
his  hand,  and  was  looking  at  me  as  if  he  were  thinking  of 
something  else. 


34  ODDSFISH! 

"  So  you  are  come  to  serve  me/'  he  said  presently,  "  in 
way  that  I  will;  and  you  will  serve  me  only  that  you  mai 
serve  your  master  better.     And  what  wages  do  you  want?  " 

"  None  that  Your  Majesty  can  give/'  I  said. 

"  Better  and  better,"  said  Charles.  "  Nor  place,  nor  posi- 
tion?" 

"  Only  at  Your  Majesty's  feet." 

"  And  what  if  I  kick  you?  " 

"  I  will  look  for  the  halfpence  elsewhere,  Sir." 

Then  the  King  laughed  outright,  in  the  short  harsh  way 
he  had;  and  I  knew  that  I  had  pleased  him.  Then  he  stood 
up,  and  I  saw  that  he  was  taller  than  I  had  thought.  He 
was  close  upon  six  feet  high. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  this  seems  all  very  pleasant 
and  satisfactory.  You  said  you  would  run  errands.  I  sup- 
pose you  mean  to  Rome?" 

"  To  Rome  and  back,  Sir,"  I  said.  "  Or  to  anywhere  else, 
except  Hell." 

"  Oh!  you  draw  the  line  there,  do  you?  " 

"  No,  Sir.  It  is  God  Almighty  who  has  drawn  it.  I  am 
not  responsible." 

"  But  you  observe  God  His  line  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Sir.     At  least,  I  try  to." 

"  We  all  do  that,  I  suppose.  The  pity  is  that  we  do  not 
succeed  more  consistently.  .  .  .  Well,  Mr.  Mallock,  I  have 
nothing  for  you  at  present.  I  am  a  great  deal  too  busy. 
These  ladies,  you  know,  demand  so  much.  I  suppose  you 
heard  one  of  them  laugh  just  now?  " 

"  I  hear  nothing  but  Your  Maj  esty's  commands,"  I  said 
very  meekly. 

Charles  laughed  again  and  began  to  walk  up  and  down. 

"  Well — and  there  are  all  these  clockwork  businesses,  and 
chymical  and  the  like.  And  there  is  so  much  to  eat  and 
drink  and  see:  and  there  are  the  affairs  of  the  kingdom — I 
had  forgot  that.  Well;  I  have  no  time  at  present,  Mr.  Mal- 
lock, as  you  can  see  for  yourself.  But  I  will  not  forget  you, 
if  I  want  you.  Where  do  you  lodge  ?  " 

J  named  my  lodgings  in  Covent  Garden. 


ODDSFISH!  35 

"  And  I  have  a  cousin,  Sir,"  I  said,  "  who  has  bidden  me 
to  his  house  in  Hare  Street.  I  shall  be  here  or  there." 

"His  name?" 

"  Thomas  Jermyn,  Sir." 

The  King  nodded. 

"  I  will  remember  that/'  he  said.  "  Well,  it  may  be  a 
long  time  before  I  have  anything  more  to  say  to  His  Holiness. 

'  He  that  will  not  when  he  may '  You  know  all  about 

that,  I  suppose,  Mr.  Mallock?  " 

"  I  know  that  Your  Majesty  has  the  reunion  of  Christendom 
at  heart,"  I  said  discreetly. 

"Yes,  yes;  I  understand,"  said  Charles.  "I  have  re- 
ceived very  favourable  accounts  of  you,  sir.  And  your 
letters,  which  are  for  the  public  eye,  are  perfectly  in  order. 
Well;  I  will  remember,  Mr.  Mallock.  Meanwhile  you  had 
best  not  shew  yourself  at  Court  in  public  too  much."  (And 
this  he  said  very  earnestly.) 

He  put  out  his  hand  to  be  kissed. 

"  And  you  will  give  my  compliments  to  my  brother  James," 
he  said. 

One  of  the  spaniels  snored  in  his  sleep  as  I-  went  out 
again. 


CHAPTER    III 

MY  interview  with  the  Duke  was  a  very  different  matter. 
I  was  informed  at  his  lodgings  that  he  was  not  yet  come 
from  tennis;  and  upon  asking  how  long  he  would  be,  or  if 
I  might  go  to  the  tennis-court,  was  told  that  he  might  be 
half  an  hour  yet,  and  that  I  might  go  there  if  I  wished;  so 
I  went  up  from  the  river  again,  with  a  fellow  they  sent  to 
guide  me,  down  through  the  Stone  Gallery,  across  the  Privy 
Garden,  and  so  across  the  street,  midway  between  the  gates,  and 
so  by  the  Duke  of  Monmouth's  lodgings  to  the  tennis-court. 
Here,  as  I  went  across  the  street,  I  caught  sight  of  the  sen- 
tries changing  guard.  These  were  the  Coldstream  Guards, 
in  their  red  coats;  for  it  was  these  foot-guards  who  did  duty 
for  the  most  part  in  the  Palace  and  round  about  at  the 
gates.  The  other  troops  about  His  Majesty  were,  first  the 
King's  Guards  proper,  who  attended  him  when  he  rode  out: 
these  were  in  buff  coats  and  cuirasses,  very  well  mounted, 
and  very  gay  with  ribbons  and  velvet  and  gold  lace  and 
what  not:  and  to  each  troop  of  these  were  attached  a  com- 
pany of  grenadiers  with  their  grenades.  Besides  these  were 
the  Blues,  also  cavalry;  and  the  dragoons,  who  were  infantry 
on  horseback,  and  carried  bayonets.  Of  the  foot-soldiers, 
such  as  the  Buffs,  most  were  mousquetaires ;  but  some  trailed 
pikes,  and  every  one  of  them  had  a  sword.  These  troops  I 
saw  constantly  in  town;  besides  the  Yoemen  who  were  closely 
attached  to  the  person  of  his  Sacred  Majesty. 

It  was  by  the  Duke  of  Monmouth's  lodgings  that  I  had 
my  first  sight  of  the  Duke  of  Monmouth  himself;  for  as  I 
came  towards  the  archway,  by  which  were  the  lodgings  of 
my  Lady  Suffolk,  he  himself  came  out  from  his  own.  I  did 
not  know  who  he  was,  until  the  fellow  by  me  saluted  him  and 
doffed  his  cap,  whereupon  I  did  the  same.  I  think  I  have 
never  seen  a  more  handsome  lad  in  all  my  life  (for  he  looked 
no  more,  though  he  was  near  thirty  years  old).  His  face 


ODDSFISH!  37 

was  as  smooth  as  a  girl's,  though  not  at  all  effeminate;  he 
had  a  high  and  merry  look  with  him,  and  bore  himself,  with 
his  two  friends,  like  a  prince;  he  had  violet  eyes  and  arched 
brows  over  them.  It  is  piteous  to  me  now  to  think  of  his 
end,  and  that  it  was  against  his  uncle  by  blood  (whom  I 
was  to  see  presently)  that  he  rebelled  later,  and  by  his  uncle 
that  he  was  condemned;  and  it  is  yet  more  piteous  to  think 
how  he  met  that  end,  crying  and  cringing  for  fear  of  his 
life,  both  in  the  ditch  in  which  he  was  discovered,  and  after- 
ward in  prison.  He  looked  very  kindly  on  me  as  he  passed, 
lifting  his  hand  to  his  hat;  but  I  think  he  would  not  have 
so  looked  if  he  had  known  all  about  me ;  for  he  was  as  venom- 
ous against  the  Catholics  as  a  man  could  be,  or  at  least  feigned 
himself  so,  for  I  think  he  had  not  a  great  deal  of  religion  at 
any  time.  But  he  was  to  know  me  better  afterwards. 

When  I  came  up  into  the  gallery  of  the  tennis-court  I  found 
it  pretty  full;  yet  not  so  full  but  that  I  could  get  a  sight  of 
the  players.  The  Duke  was  in  the  court  of  the  dedans  when 
I  first  came  in,  so  I  could  see  no  more  of  him  than  his  back 
and  his  cropped  head;  but  when,  after  two  chaces  he  crossed 
over,  I  had  a  good  view  of  him. 

He  was  more  heavily  built  than  Charles;  but  his  features 
were  not  unlike  the  King's,  though  he  was  fairer  in  com- 
plexion, I  suppose;  and  his  lip  was  shorter,  and  he  wore  no 
hair  on  his  face.  He  had  somewhat  of  a  heavier  look  too 
in  his  face,  without  the  fire  that  burned  like  embers  in  his 
brother's  eyes.  All  this  I  noticed  somewhat  of,  even  from 
the  gallery,  though  he  was  all  a-sweat  with  his  exercise. 

I  had  left  word  with  one  of  the  men  below  as  to  my  name 
and  my  business;  and  when  the  game  was  ended  and  the 
Duke  went  out,  I  remained  still  upstairs  for  a  little,  think- 
ing that  perhaps  another  would  be  played,  and  then  perhaps 
he  would  send  for  me.  But  a  servant  came  up  presently 
and  told  me  I  was  to  follow  to  the  Stone  Gallery,  where 
the  Duke  would  walk  for  a  while  before  changing  his  clothes, 
as  his  custom  was.  This  Stone  Gallery,  as  I  had  seen,  was 
roofed,  with  skylights  in  it,  and  had  presses  of  books  all 
along  the  walls,  together  with  collections  of  all  kinds. 


38  ODDSFISH! 

When  I  came  to  the  Gallery  he  was  at  the  further  end, 
walking  with  Sir  Robert  Murray,  as  I  learned  afterwards, 
who  was  a  very  earnest  Protestant,  but  always  at  Court; 
but  when  he  saw  me  he  sent  Sir  Robert  away  and  beckoned  to 
me  to  come.  So  I  went  up  to  him  and  kissed  his  hand,  and 
he  bade  me  walk  with  him  for  a  little.  (He  had  put  on  a 
cloak  and  hat  to  prevent  his  taking  cold.) 

Now  his  manner  was  wholly  different  from  His  Majesty's. 
There  was  a  courtesy  always  in  Charles  that  was  not  in 
James;  for  the  Duke  said  nothing  as  to  his  receiving  me 
here  in  his  deshabille,  but  began  immediately  to  talk  in  a 
low  voice. 

"  I  am  pleased  that  you  are  come  to  England,  Mr.  Mallock. 
I  have  had  news  of  you  from  Rome." 

Then  he  asked  very  properly  of  the  Holy  Father,  and  of  a 
Cardinal  or  two  that  he  knew;  and  I  answered  him  as  well 
as  I  could.  But  I  very  soon  saw  that  His  Royal  Highness 
wanted  nothing  like  wit  from  me:  he  was  somewhat  of  a 
solemn  man,  and  had  great  ideas  of  his  rights,  and  that  all 
men  who  were  below  his  own  station  should  keep  their  own. 
He  desired  deference  and  attention  above  all  things. 

He  spoke  presently  of  Catholics  in  England. 

"  God  hath  blest  us  very  highly,"  he  said,  "  both  in  numbers 
and  influence.  But  we  can  well  do  with  more  of  both;  for 
I  never  heard  of  any  cause  that  could  not.  There  is  a  feeling 
against  us  in  many  quarters,  but  it  is  less  considerable  every 
year.  You  are  to  attach  yourself  to  His  Majesty,  I  under- 
stand? " 

"  But  I  am  to  have  no  place  or  office,  sir,"  I  said.  "  I  am 
rather  to  be  at  His  Majesty's  disposal — to  fetch  and  carry, 
I  may  say,  if  he  should  need  my  services." 

His  Highness  looked  at  me  sidelong  and  swiftly;  and  I 
understood  that  he  did  not  wish  any  originality  even  in 
speech. 

"  We  must  all  be  discreet,  however,"  he  said — (though  I 
suppose  there  was  never  any  man  less  discreet  than  himself, 
especially  when  he  most  needed  to  be  so).  "  It  is  useless 


ODDSFISH!  39 

to  say  that  we  are  altogether  loved;  for  we  are  not.     But  you 
will  soon  acquaint  yourself  with  all  our  politics." 

I  did  not  say  that  I  had  already  done  so;  but  assured  him 
that  I  would  do  my  best. 

"As  a  general  guide,  I  may  say,"  he  went  on;  "where 
there  is  Whiggery,  there  is  disloyalty,  however  much  the 
Whigs  may  protest.  They  say  they  desire  a  king  as  much 
as  any;  but  it  is  not  a  king  that  they  want,  but  his  shadow 
only." 

He  talked  on  in  this  manner  for  a  little,  for  we  had  the  Gal- 
lery to  ourselves,  telling  me,  what  I  knew  very  well  already, 
that  the  Catholics  and  the  High  Churchmen  were,  as  a  whole, 
staunch  Royalists;  but  that  the  rest,  especially  those  of 
the  old  Covenanting  blood,  still  were  capable  of  mischief. 
He  did  not  tell  me  outright  that  it  was  largely  against  his 
own  succession  that  the  disaffection  was  directed;  nor  that 
the  Duke  of  Monmouth  was  his  rival;  but  he  told  me  enough 
to  show  that  my  own  information  was  correct  enough,  and 
that  in  the  political  matters  my  weight,  such  as  it  was,  must 
be  thrown  on  to  the  side  of  the  Tories — as  the  other  party 
was  nicknamed.  I  understood,  even  in  that  first  conversa- 
tion with  him,  why  he  was  so  little  loved;  and  I  remembered, 
with  inward  mirth,  how  His  Majesty  once,  upon  being  remon- 
strated with  by  his  brother  for  walking  out  so  freely  without 
a  guard,  answered  that  he  need  have  no  fears ;  for  "  they 
will  never  kill  me,"  said  he,  "  to  set  you  upon  the  throne." 

"  You  have  seen  Father  Whitbread,  no  doubt,"  said  the 
Duke  suddenly. 

"  No,  sir.  I  waited  to  pay  my  homage  first  to  His  Majesty 
and  to  yourself." 

He   nodded   once   or  twice   at  that. 

"  Yes,  yes ;  but  you  will  see  him  presently,  I  take  it.  You 
could  not  have  a  better  guide.  Why " 

He  broke  off  on  a  sudden. 

"  Why  here  is  the  man  himself,"  he  said. 

A  man  in  a  sober  suit  was  indeed  approaching,  as  His 
Highness  spoke.  He  was  of  about  the  middle-size,  clean- 


40  ODDSFISH! 

shaven,  of  a  grave  and  kindly  face,  and  resembled  such  a 
man  as  a  lawyer  or  physician  might  be.  He  was  dressed 
in  all  points  like  a  layman,  though  I  suppose  it  was  tolerably 
well  known  what  he  was,  if  not  his  name. 

He  saluted  as  he  came  near,  and  made  as  if  he  would  have 
passed  us. 

"  Mr.  Whitbread !  Mr.  Whitbread !  "  cried  the  Duke. 

The  priest  turned  and  bowed  again,  uncovering  as  he 
did  so.  Then  he  came  up  to  the  Duke  and  kissed  his  hand. 

"  I  was  on  my  way  to  see  your  Royal  Highness,"  he  said, 
"  but  when  I  saw  you  were  in  company " 

"  Why,  this  is  Mr.  Mallock,  come  from  Rome,  who  has 
letters  to  you.  This  will  save  you  a  journey,  Mr.  Mallock." 

The  priest  and  I  saluted  one  another;  and  I  found  his  face 
and  manner  very  pleasant. 

"  I  have  heard  of  you,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  but  I  hope 
His  Highness  is  misinformed,  and  that  this  will  not  save  you 
a  journey,  after  all." 

"  I  was  just  telling  this  gentleman,"  broke  in  the  Duke, 
as  we  continued  our  walking,  "  that  he  must  take  you  for 
his  mentor,  Mr.  Whitbread,  in  these  difficult  times.  Mr. 
Mallock  seems  very  young  for  his  business,  but  I  suppose 
that  the  Holy  Father  knows  what  he  is  about." 

"  The  Holy  Father,  sir,"  I  said,  "  has  committed  himself 
in  no  sort  of  way  to  me.  I  am  scarcely  more  than  a  free- 
lance who  has  had  his  blessing." 

"  Well,  well ;  it  is  all  the  same  thing,"  said  James  a  little 
impatiently.  "  Free-lance  or  drilled  soldier — they  fight  for 
the  same  cause." 

He  continued  to  talk  in  the  same  manner  for  a  little,  as 
if  for  my  instruction;  and  I  listened  with  all  the  meekness 
I  had.  He  did  not  tell  me  one  word  which  I  did  not  already 
know;  but  I  had  perceived  by  now  what  kind  of  man  he 
was — well  intentioned,  no  doubt,  as  courageous  as  a  lion,  and 
as  impatient  of  opposition,  and  not  a  little  stupid:  at  least 
he  had  not  a  tenth  of  his  brother's  wits,  as  all  the  world 
knew.  He  solemnly  informed  me  therefore  of  what  all  the 
world  knew,  and  I  listened  to  him. 


ODDSFISH!  41 

When  he  dismissed  me  at  last,  however,  he  remembered  to 
ask  where  I  lodged,  and  I  told  him. 

"  A  very  good  place  too,"  he  said.  "  I  am  glad  your 
cousin  had  the  sense  to  put  you  there.  Then  I  will  remember 
you,  if  I  need  you  for  anything." 

"  I  will  go  with  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  the  priest,  "  if  Your 
Royal  Highness  will  permit.  I  came  but  to  pay  my  respects ; 
and  it  is  a  little  late." 

The  Duke  nodded;  and  gave  us  his  hand  to  kiss. 

As  we  went  out  through  the  Courtyard,  Father  Whitbread 
pointed  out  a  few  things  to  me  which  he  thought  might  be 
of  interest;  and  I  liked  the  man  more  at  every  step.  He 
was  a  complete  man  of  the  world,  with  a  certain  gentle  irony, 
yet  none  the  less  kindly  for  it.  He  did  not  say  one  dis- 
paraging word  of  anyone,  nor  any  hint  of  criticism  at  His 
Royal  Highness;  yet  he  knew,  and  I  knew  that  he  knew,  and 
he  knew  that  again,  that  our  Catholic  champion  was  a  shade 
disappointing;  and  that,  not  in  his  vices  only — of  which 
my  Lady  Southesk  could  have  given  an  account — but  in  that 
which  I  am  forced  to  call  his  stupidity.  But,  after  all,  our 
Saviour  uttered  a  judgment  generally  as  to  the  children  of 
light  and  the  children  of  this  world,  that  must  always  be 
our  consolation  when  our  friends  are  dull  or  perverse. 
Father  Whitbread  only  observed  emphatically  that  the  Duke 
was  a  man  of  excellent  heart. 

He  shewed  me  the  windows  of  a  number  of  lodgings  on 
the  way,  and  the  direction  of  a  great  many  more:  for  indeed 
this  Palace  of  Whitehall  was  liker  a  little  town  than  a  house. 
Father  Patricks,  he  said,  had  a  lodging  near  the  Pantry,  which 
he  shewed  me. 

"  There  be  some  of  us  priests  who  have  an  affinity,  do  you 
not  think,  Mr.  Mallock?  with  pantries  and  butteries  and 
such  like — good  sound  men  too,  many  of  them.  I  have  not 
a  word  to  say  against  Mr.  Patricks." 

He  shewed  me  too  how  the  Palace  was  in  four  quarters,  of 
which  two  were  divided  from  two  by  Whitehall  itself  and 
the  street  between  the  gatehouses.  That  half  of  it  that  was 
nearer  to  the  Park  held  the  tennis-court  and  the  cock-pit  and 


42  ODDSFISH! 

the  lodgings  of  the  Duke  of  Monmouth  and  others  nearer 
Westminster,  and  the  other  half  the  Horse  Guards  and  the 
barracks:  and  that  nearer  the  river  held,  to  the  south  the 
Stone  Gallery,  the  Privy  Garden,  the  Bowling  Green  and  a 
great  number  of  lodgings  amongst  which  were  those  of  the 
King  and  of  his  brother  and  Prince  Rupert,  and  of  the 
Queen  too,  as  well  as  of  their  more  immediate  attendants — 
and  this  part  contained  what  was  left  of  the  old  York  House ; 
to  the  north  was  another  court  surrounded  by  lodgings,  the 
Wood-Yard,  the  two  courts  called  Scotland  Yard,  and  the 
clock-house  at  the  extremity,  nearest  Charing  Cross.  In  the 
very  midst  of  the  whole  Palace,  looking  upon  Whitehall  it- 
self, was  the  Banqueting  House  where  His  Majesty  dined 
in  state,  and  from  a  window  of  which  King  Charles  the  First, 
of  blessed  memory,  went  out  to  lose  his  head.  Indeed  as  we 
went  by  the  end  of  the  Banqueting  House  the  trumpets  blew 
for  supper;  and  we  saw  a  great  number  of  cooks  and  scullions 
run  past  with  dishes  on  their  heads. 

As  we  went  up  Whitehall,  Mr.  Whitbread  began  to  speak 
of  more  intimate  things. 

"  You  are  a  stranger  in  England,  Mr.  Mallock,  I  think." 

I  told  him  I  had  not  been  in  the  country  for  seven  years. 

"You  will  find  a  great  many  changes,"  he  said;  "and  I 
think  we  are  on  the  eve  of  some  more.  Certainly  His 
Majesty  has  wonderfully  established  his  position;  and  yet, 
if  you  understand  me,  there  is  a  great  and  growing  dis- 
affection. It  is  the  Catholic  Faith  that  they  fear;  and  I 
cannot  help  thinking  that  some  victims  may  be  required 
again  presently,  though  I  do  not  know  what  they  can  allege 
against  us.  There  is  a  deal  of  feeling,  too,  against  the 
Queen;  she  has  borne  no  children — that  is  true;  but  the  main 
part  of  it  arises  from  her  religion:  and  so  with  the  Duke  of 
York  also.  Certainly  we  are  in  the  fashion  in  one  way: 
but  those  who  are  on  the  top  of  the  wave  must  always  look 
to  come  down  suddenly." 

Here  again,  Father  Whitbread  did  not  tell  me  anything 
that  I  did  not  know;  yet  he  put  matters  together  as  I  had 


ODDSFISH!  43 

not  heard  them  put  before;  and  he  seemed  to  me  altogether 
a  shrewd  kind  of  man  whose  judgment  I  might  very  well 
rely  upon;  and  as  we  went  up  the  Strand  he  spoke  again  of 
the  Queen. 

"  His  Majesty  hath  been  urged  again  and  again  to  divorce 
her;  but  he  will  not.  He  said  to  the  Duke  himself  in  my 
hearing  one  day  that  an  innocent  woman  should  never  suffer 
through  him — which  is  good  hearing.  But  Her  Majesty  is 
not  very  happy,  I  am  afraid." 

When  we  came  to  the  Maypole,  which  I  had  already  seen, 
in  the  midst  of  the  Strand,  he  spoke  to  me  of  how  it  had 
been  carried  there  and  set  up  with  great  rejoicing,  after  the 
Restoration.  It  was  a  great  structure,  hung  about  by  a  crown 
and  a  vane;  and  he  said  that  it  stood  as  a  kind  of  symbol 
against  Puritanism. 

"  There  are  many,"  he  told  me,  "  who  would  pull  it  down 
to-morrow  if  they  could,  as  if  it  were  some  kind  of  idol." 

He  saw  me  as  far  as  the  door  of  my  lodgings;  but  he 
would  not  come  in.  He  said  that  he  had  no  great  desire  to 
be  known  more  widely  than  he  was  at  present  known. 

"  But  if  you  have  time  to  come  in  to-morrow  morning  about 
ten  o'clock  to  Mr.  Fenwick's  lodgings  in  Drury  Lane — over 
the  baker's  shop — I  shall  be  there,  and  Mr.  Ireland  also — all 
Fathers  of  our  Society;  and  I  will  very  gladly  make  you 
known  to  them.  My  own  lodgings  are  in  Weld  Street — at 
the  Ambassador's." 

I  thanked  him  for  his  kindness,  and  said  I  would  be  there; 
and  so  I  bade  him  good-night. 

Although  I  had  learned  very  few  things  that  day  which  I 
had  not  known  already,  I  felt  that  evening  as  I  sat  at  supper, 
and  afterwards,  in  the  coffee  house  at  17,  Fleet  Street  (which 
he  recommended  to  me)  that  I  knew  them  in  a  different 
manner.  For  I  had  spoken  with  some  of  the  principal  actors, 
and,  above  all,  with  the  King  himself.  My  cousin  questioned 
me  delightedly  upon  my  experiences  when  we  were  alone 
with  our  pipes  at  one  end  of  the  great  room  that  had  been 
a  council-chamber;  and  related  to  me  all  his  own  experiences 


44  ODDSFISH! 

with  the  King  at  great  length;  and  how  Charles  had  made 
to  him  some  witty  remarks  which  I  think  must  have  lost  in 
the  telling,  for  they  were  not  witty  at  all  when  I  heard 
them.  It  appeared  that  my  cousin  had  spoken  with  the 
King  three  or  four  times,  at  City-banquets  and  such  like;  and 
he  would  know  all  that  His  Majesty  had  said  to  me.  But 
much  I  would  not  tell  him,  and  some  I  could  not:  I  could 
not  that  is,  even  if  I  would,  have  conveyed  to  him  the  strange 
compassion  that  I  felt,  and  the  yet  more  strange  affection, 
for  this  King  who  might  have  done  so  much,  and  who  did  so 
little — except  what  he  should  not;  and  I  would  not  on  any 
account  tell  him  of  what  the  King  had  said  as  to  Rome  and 
his  desires  and  procrastinations.  But  I  told  him  how  I  had 
met  Father  Whitbread,  and  how  I  was  to  go  and  see  him 
on  the  morrow. 

"  Why,  I  will  come  with  you  myself,"  he  said.  "  I  know 
Mr.  Fenwick's  lodgings  very  well:  and  we  will  ride  after- 
wards as  far  as  Waltham  Cross,  and  lie  there;  and  so  to 
Hare  Street  for  dinner  next  day." 

All  the  way  home  again,  and  when  my  Cousin  Dorothy  was 
gone  to  bed,  and  we  sat  over  a  couple  of  tankards  of  College 
Ale,  he  would  talk  of  nothing  but  the  Jesuits. 

"  They  are  too  zealous/*  he  said.  "  I  am  as  good  a  Cath- 
olic as  any  man  in  England  or  Rome;  but  I  like  not  this 
over-zeal.  They  are  everywhere,  these  good  fathers;  and 
it  will  bring  trouble  on  them.  They  hold  their  consults  even 
in  London,  which  I  think  over-rash;  and  no  man  knows  what 

passes  at  them.  Now  I  myself "  and  so  his  tongue 

wagged  on,  telling  of  his  own  excellence  and  prudence,  and 
even  his  own  spirituality,  while  his  eyes  watered  with  the  ale 
that  he  drank,  and  his  face  grew  ever -more  red.  And  yet 
there  was  no  true  simplicity  in  the  man;  he  had  that  kind 
of  cunning  that  is  eked  out  .with  winks  and  becks  and  nods 
that  all  the  world  could  see.  He  talked  of  my  Cousin 
Dorothy,  too,  and  her  virtues,  and  what  a  great  lady  she 
would  be  some  day  when  these  virtues  were  known;  and  he 
declared  that  in  spite  of  this  he  would  never  let  her  go  to 
Court;  and  then  once  more  he  went  back  again  to  his  earlier 


ODDSFISH!  45 

talk  of  the  corruptions  there,  and  of  what  my  Lady  this  and 
Her  Grace  of  that  had  said  and  done  and  thought. 

Mr.  Fenwick's  lodgings  in  Drury  Lane  were  such  as  any 
man  might  have.  The  Jesuit  Fathers  lived  apart  in  London 
— Father  Whitbread  in  the  City,  Father  Ireland  in  Russell 
Street,  and  Father  Harcourt,  who  was  called  the  "  Rector 
of  London,"  I  heard,  in  Duke  Street,  near  the  arch — lest  too 
much  attention  should  be  drawn  to  them  if  they  were  all 
together.  They  were  pleasant  quiet  men,  and  received  me 
very  kindly — for  my  cousin  who  had  forgot  some  matter  he 
had  to  do  before  he  went  into  the  country,  was  gone  down 
into  the  City  to  see  to  it.  Mr.  Grove,  whom  I  learned  later 
to  be  a  lay  brother  of  the  Society,  opened  the  door  to  me; 
and  shewed  me  to  the  room  where  they  were  all  three  together. 

They  were  all  three  of  them  just  such  men  as  you  might  meet 
anywhere,  in  coffee-houses  or  taverns,  none  of  them  under 
forty  or  over  sixty  years  old.  Father  Harcourt  was  seventy 
— but  he  was  not  there.  They  were  in  sober  suits,  such  as  a 
lawyer  might  wear,  and  carried  swords.  These  were  not 
all  the  Jesuits  thereabouts;  for  I  heard  them  speak  of  Father 
John  Gavan  and  Father  Anthony  Turner  (who  were  in  the 
country  on  that  day),  and  others. 

As  I  talked  with  them,  and  gave  my  news  and  listened  to 
theirs,  again  and  again  I  thought  of  the  marvellous-  mis  judg- 
ments that  were  always  passed  upon  the  Society;  of  how 
men  such  as  these  were  always  thought  to  be  plotting  and 
conspiring,  and  how  any  charge  against  a  Jesuit  was  always 
taken  as  proven  scarcely  before  it  was  stated;  and  that  not  by 
common  men  only,  but  by  educated  gentlemen  too,  who  should 
know  better.  For  their  talk  was  of  nothing  but  of  the  most 
harmless  and  Christian  matters,  and  of  such  simplicity  that 
no  man  who  heard  them  could  doubt  their  sincerity.  It  is 
true  that  they  spoke  of  such  things  as  the  conversion  of  Eng- 
land, and  of  the  progress  that  the  Faith  was  making;  and 
they  told  many  wonderful  stories  of  the  religion  of  the  com- 
mon people  in  country  places,  and  how  a  priest  was  received 
by  them  as  an  angel  of  God,  and  of  their  marvellous  goodness 


46  ODDSFISH! 

and  constancy  under  the  bitterest  trials;  but  so,  I  take  it, 
would  the  Apostles  themselves  have  spoken  in  Rome  and 
Asia  and  Jerusalem.  But  as  to  the  disloyalty  that  was  after- 
wards charged  against  them,  still  less  of  any  hatred  or  mur- 
derous designs,  there  was  not  one  such  thought  that  passed 
through  any  of  their  minds. 

It  was  a  plain  but  well-furnished  chamber  in  which  we 
sat.  Beneath  the  windows  folks  came  and  went  continually. 
There  were  hangings  on  the  wall;  and  a  press  full  of  books 
and  papers,  and  two  or  three  tables;  but  there  was  no  con- 
cealment of  anything,  nor  thought  of  it.  Through  the  door 
I  saw  Mr.  Grove  laying  for  dinner. 

"  But  you  will  surely  stay  for  dinner,"  said  Father  Fen- 
wick,  when  I  said  that  I  must  be  gone  presently. 

I  told  him  that  I  was  to  ride  to  Waltham  Cross  with  my 
cousins,  and  that  I  was  to  meet  them  for  dinner  first  at  the 
coffee-house  beside  the  Maypole  in  the  Strand. 

"  And  to  Hare  Street  to-morrow,  then,"  said  Father  Whit- 
bread — or  Mr.  White  as  he  was  called  sometimes. 

I  told  him,  Yes ;  and  that  I  did  not  know  how  long  I  should 
be  there. 

"  The  King  will  be  at  Windsor  next  month,  I  think,"  he 
said ;  "  but  he  will  be  back  again  for  August.  You  had 
best  be  within  call  then,  if  he  should  send  for  you."  (For 
I  had  told  them  all  freely  what  had  passed  between  myself 
and  His  Majesty,  and  what  His  Holiness  had  said  to  me 
too.) 

"  You  can  command  any  of  us  at  any  time,"  he  added, 
"  if  we  can  be  of  service  to  you.  There  are  so  many  folks 
of  all  kinds,  here,  there  and  everywhere,  that  it  is  near  im- 
possible for  a  stranger  to  take  stock  of  them  all;  and  it  may 
be  that  our  experience  may  be  of  use  to  you,  to  know  whom 
to  trust  and  of  whom  to  beware.  But  the  most  safe  rule  in 
these  days  is,  Trust  no  man  till  you  know  him,  and  not  en- 
tirely even  then.  There  are  men  in  this  City  who  would 
sell  their  souls  gladly  if  any  could  be  found  to  give  them 
anything  for  it;  how  much  more  then,  if  they  could  turn  a 
penny  or  two  by  selling  you  or  me  or  another  in  their  stead !  " 


ODDSFISH!  47 

I  thanked  him  for  his  warning;  and  told  him  that  I  would 
indeed  be  on  my  guard. 

"  Least  of  all/'  he  said,  "  would  I  trust  those  of  my  own 
household.  I  know  your  cousin  for  a  Catholic,  Mr.  Mallock, 
but  you  will  forgive  me  for  saying  that  it  is  from  Catholics 
that  we  have  to  fear  the  most.  I  do  not  mean  by  that  that 
Mr.  Jermyn  is  not  excellent  and  sincere;  for  I  know  nothing 
of  him  except  what  you  have  told  me  yourself.  But  zeal 
without  discretion  is  a  very  firebrand;  and  prudence  without 
zeal  may  become  something  very  like  cowardice;  and  either 
of  these  two  things  may  injure  the  Catholic  cause  irreparably 
in  the  days  that  are  coming.  St.  Peter's  was  the  one,  and 
Judas',  I  take  it,  was  the  other ;  for  I  hold  Judas  to  have  been 
by  far  the  greater  coward  of  the  two." 

When  I  came  out  into  the  passage  with  him,  I  kneeled  down 
and  asked  his  blessing;  for  I  knew  that  this  was  of  a  truth 
a  man  of  God. 


CHAPTER    IV 

IT  was  a  little  after  noon  next  day  that  first  we  saw  the 
Norman  church  upon  the  hill,  and  then  the  roofs  of  Hare 
Street. 

I  had  been  astonished  at  the  badness  of  the  roads  from 
London,  coming  as  I  had  from  Rome,  where  paved  ways  go 
out  in  every  direction.  We  came  out  by  Bishopsgate,  by  the 
Ware  road,  and  arrived  at  Waltham  Cross  a  little  before  sun- 
set, riding  through  heavy  dust  that  had  hardly  been  laid  at 
all  by  the  recent  rains.  We  rode  armed,  with  four  servants, 
besides  my  Cousin  Dorothy's  maid,  for  fear  of  the  highway- 
men who  had  robbed  a  coach  only  last  week  between  Ware 
and  London.  My  Cousin  Dorothy  rode  a  white  mare  named 
Jenny  which  mightily  became  her.  We  lay  at  the  Four 
Swans  at  Waltham  Cross,  and  went  out  before  supper  to  see 
the  Cross  which  was  erected  where  Queen  Eleanor's  body 
had  lain — of  which  the  last  was  at  Charing  Cross — and  I  was 
astonished  that  the  Puritans  had  not  more  mutilated  it.  The 
beds  were  pretty  comfortable,  and  the  ale  excellent,  so  that 
once  more  my  Cousin  Tom  drank  too  much  of  it.  And  so, 
early  in  the  morning  we  took  horse  again,  and  rode  through 
Puckeridge,  where  we  left  for  the  first  time  the  road  by  which 
the  King  went  to  Newmarket,  when  he  went  through  Royston ; 
and  we  found  the  track  very  bad  thenceforward.  My  Cousin 
Tom  carried  with  him,  though  for  no  purpose  except  for  show, 
a  map  by  John  Ogilby  which  shows  all  the  way  from  London 
to  King's  Lynn,  very  ingeniously,  and  which  was  made  after 
the  Restoration  to  encourage  road  traffic  again;  but  it  was 
pleasant  for  me  to  look  at  it  from  time  to  time  and  see  what 
progress  we  made  towards  Hormead  Magna  which  is  the 
parish  in  which  Hare  Street  lies. 

Now  it  was  very  pleasant  for  me  to  ride,  as  I  did  a  good 
deal,  with  my  Cousin  Dorothy;  for  her  father,  for  a  great 
part,  rode  with  the  men  and  cracked  stories  with  them. 
For  journeying  with  a  person  sets  up  a  great  deal  of  intimacy; 

48 


ODDSFISH!  49 

and  acquaintance  progresses  at  least  as  swiftly  as  the  journey 
itself.  She  spoke  to  me  very  freely  of  her  father,  though 
never  as  a  daughter  should  not;  and  told  me  how  distressed 
she  was  sometimes  at  the  quantity  of  ale  and  strong  waters 
that  he  drank.  She  told  me  also  how  seldom  it  was  that  a 
Catholic  could  hear  mass  at  Hare  Street:  sometimes,  she  said, 
a  priest  would  lie  there,  and  say  mass  in  the  attic;  but  not 
very  often;  and  sometimes  if  a  priest  were  in  the  neighbour- 
hood they  would  ride  over  and  hear  mass  wherever  he  hap- 
pened to  be.  The  house,  she  said,  lay  near  upon  the  road, 
so  that  they  would  hear  a  good  deal  of  news  in  this  way. 
But  she  told  me  nothing  of  another  matter — for  indeed  she 
could  not — which  distressed  her;  though  I  presently  guessed 
it  for  myself,  as  will  appear  in  the  course  of  this  tale. 

My  horse,  Peter  (as  I  had  named  him  after  the  Apostle 
when  I  bought  him  at  Dover),  was  pretty  weary  as  we  came 
in  sight  of  the  church  of  Hormead  Parva;  for  I  had  given 
him  plenty  to  do  while  I  was  in  London;  and  he  stumbled 
three  or  four  times. 

"We  are  nearly  home,"  said  my  Cousin  Dorothy;  and 
pointed  with  her  whip. 

"  It  is  pleasant  to  hear  such  a  word,"  I  said:  <f  for,  as  for 
me,  I  have  none." 

She  said  nothing  to  that;  and  I  was  a  little  ashamed  to 
have  said  it;  for  nothing  is  easier  than  to  touch  a  maid's 
heart  by  playing  Othello  to  her  Desdemona. 

"  I  have  no  business  to  have  said  that,  cousin,"  I  went 
on  presently:  "  for  England  is  all  home  to  me  just  now." 

"  I  hope  you  will  find  it  so,  cousin,"  she  said. 

The  country  was  pretty  enough  through  which  we  rode; 
though  in  no  ways  wonderful.  It  was  pasture-land  for  the 
most  part,  with  woods  here  and  there;  and  plenty  of  hollow 
ways  (all  of  which  were  marked  upon  the  map  with  great 
accuracy),  by  which  drovers  brought  their  sheep  to  the  high- 
way. I  saw  also  a  good  many  fields  of  corn.  The  hills  were 
lowish,  and  ran  in  lines,  with  long  valleys  between;  and  there 
was  one  such  on  the  right  as  we  came  to  Hare  Street,  through 
which  flowed  a  little  stream,  nearly  dry  in  the  summer. 


50  ODDSFISH! 

The  house  itself  was  the  greatest  house  in  the  village,  and 
lay  at  the  further  end  of  it  upon  the  right;  sheltered  from  the 
road  by  limes,  in  the  midst  of  which  was  the  gateway,  and 
the  house  twenty  yards  within.  My  Cousin  Tom  came  up 
with  us  as  we  entered  the  village,  and  shewed  me  with  a 
great  deal  of  pride  his  new  iron  gate  just  set  up,  with  a 
twisted  top. 

"  It  is  the  finest  little  gate  for  ten  miles  round/'  he  said, 
"  and  cost  me  near  twenty  pound." 

We  rode  past  the  gate,  however,  into  the  yard  just  beyond; 
and  here  there  was  a  great  barking  of  dogs  set  up;  and  two 
or  three  men  ran  out.  I  helped  my  Cousin  Dorothy  from  her 
horse;  and  then  all  three  of  us  went  through  a  side-door  to 
the  front  of  the  house. 

The  house  without  was  of  timber  and  plaster,  very  solidly 
built,  but  in  no  way  pretentious ;  and  the  plaster  was  stamped, 
in  panels,  with  a  kind  of  comb-pattern  in  half  circles,  pe- 
culiar, my  cousin  told  me,  to  that  part  of  the  country. 
Within,  it  was  very  pleasant.  There  was  a  little  passage  as 
we  came  in,  and  to  right  and  left  lay  the  Great  Chamber  (as 
it  was  called),  and  the  dining-room.  Beyond  the  little  pas- 
sage was  the  staircase,  panelled  all  the  way  up,  with  the  in- 
struments of  the  Passion  and  other  emblems  carved  on  a  row 
of  the  panels ;  and  at  the  foot  of  the  staircase  on  the  right  lay 
a  little  parlour,  very  pretty,  with  hangings  presenting  the 
knights  of  the  Holy  Grail  riding  upon  their  Quest.  Upon  the 
left  of  the  staircase,  lay  a  paved  hall,  with  a  little  pantry 
under  the  stairs,  to  the  left,  and  the  kitchens  running  out  to 
the  back;  and  opposite  to  them,  enclosing  a  little  grassed 
court,  the  brewhouse  and  the  bakehouse.  Behind  all  lay  the 
kitchen  gardens ;  and  behind  the  brewhouse  a  row  of  old  yews 
and  a  part  of  the  lawn,  that  also  ran  before  the  house.  The 
house  was  of  three  stories  high,  and  contained  about  twenty 
rooms  with  the  attics. 

It  is  strange  how  some  houses,  upon  a  first  acquaintance 
with  them,  seem  like  old  friends;  and  how  others,  though 
one  may  have  lived  in  them  fifty  years  are  never  familiar 
to  those  who  live  in  them.  Now  Hare  Street  House  was  one 


ODDSFISH!  51 

of  the  first  kind.  This  very  day  that  I  first  set  eyes  on  it, 
it  was  as  if  I  had  lived  there  as  a  child.  The  sunlight 
streamed  into  the  Great  Chamber,  and  past  the  yews  into  the 
parlour;  and  upon  the  lawns  outside;  and  the  noise  of  the  bees 
in  the  limes  was  as  if  an  organ  played  softly;  and  it  was  all 
to  me  as  if  I  had  known  it  a  hundred  years. 

My  Cousin  Tom  carried  me  upstairs  presently  to  the  Guest- 
chamber — a  great  panelled  room,  with  a  wide  fire-place, 
above  the  dining-room — that  I  might  wash  my  hands  and 
face  before  dinner;  and  my  heart  smote  me  a  little  for  all  my 
thoughts  of  him,  for,  when  all  was  said,  he  had  received  me 
very  hospitably,  and  was  now  bidding  me  welcome  again, 
and  that  I  must  live  there  as  long  as  I  would,  and  think  of 
it  as  my  home. 

"  And  here,"  he  said,  opening  a  door  at  the  foot  of  the 
bed,  "  is  a  little  closet  where  your  man  can  hang  your 
clothes;  it  looks  out  upon  the  yard;  and  my  room  is  beyond 
it,  over  the  kitchen." 

I  thanked  him  again  and  again  for  his  kindness;  and  so  he 
left  me. 

We  dined  below  presently,  very  excellently.  The  room 
was  hung  with  green,  with  panels  of  another  pattern  upon 
it;  and  the  dishes  were  put  in  through  a  little  hatch  from 
the  kitchen  passage.  My  man  James  waited  with  the  rest, 
and  acquitted  himself  very  well.  Then  after  dinner,  when 
the  servants  were  gone  away,  my  Cousin  Tom  carried  me 
out,  with  a  mysterious  air,  to  the  foot  of  the  stairs. 

"  Now  look  well  round  you,  Cousin  Roger,"  he  said,  when 
he  had  me  standing  there ;  "  and  see  if  there  be  anything 
that  would  draw  your  attention." 

I  looked  this  way  and  that  but  saw  nothing;  and  said  so. 

"  Have  you  ever  heard  of  Master  Owen,"  he  said,  "  of 
glorious  memory  ?  " 

"  Why,  yes,"  I  said,  "  he  was  a  Jesuit  lay-brother,  martyred 
under  Elizabeth:  and  he  made  hiding-holes,  did  he  not?" 

"Well;  he  hath  been  at  work  here.  Look  again,  Cousin 
Roger." 


52  ODDSFISH! 

I  turned  and  saw  my  Cousin  Dorothy  smiling — (and  it 
was  a  very  pretty  sight  too!) — but  there  was  nothing  else 
to  be  seen.  I  beat  with  my  foot;  and  it  rang  a  little  hollow. 

"  No,  no;  those  are  the  cellars/'  said  my  Cousin  Tom. 

I  beat  then  upon  the  walls,  here  and  there;  but  to  no  pur- 
pose; and  then  upon  the  stairs. 

"  That  is  the  sloping  roof  of  the  pantry,  only/'  said  my 
Cousin  Tom. 

I  confessed  myself  outwitted;  and  then  with  great  mirth 
he  shewed  me  how,  over  the  door  into  the  paved  hall,  there 
was  a  space  large  enough  to  hold  three  or  four  men;  and 
how  the  panels  opened  on  this  side,  as  well  as  into  the 
kitchen  passage  on  the  other. 

"  A  priest  or  suchlike  might  very  well  lie  here  a  week  or 
two,  might  he  not?  "  asked  my  Cousin  Tom  delightedly;  "  and 
if  the  sentry  was  at  the  one  side,  he  might  be  fed  from 
the  other.  It  is  cunningly  contrived,  is  it  not?  A  man  has 
but  to  leap  up  here  from  a  chair;  and  he  is  safe." 

I  praised  it  very  highly,  to  please  him;  and  indeed  it  was 
very  curious  and  ingenious. 

"  But  those  days  are  done,"  I  said. 

"Who  can  tell  that?"  he  cried — (though  a  week  ago  he 
had  told  me  the  same  himself).  "Some  priest  might  very 
well  be  flying  for  his  life  along  this  road,  and  turn  in  here. 
Who  knows  whether  it  may  not  be  so  again?  " 

I  said  no  more  then  on  that  point;  though  I  did  not  be- 
lieve him. 

"  And  there  is  one  more  matter  I  must  shew  you  in  your 
own  chamber;  if  you  have  any  private  papers  and  suchlike." 

Then  he  shewed  me  in  my  own  room,  by  the  head  of  the 
bed  that  stood  along  the  wall,  how  one  of  the  panels  slid 
back  from  its  place,  discovering  a  little  space  behind  where  a 
man  might  very  well  keep  his  papers  or  his  money. 

"  Not  a  living  soul,"  he  said,  "  knows  of  that,  besides 
Dolly  and  myself.  You  are  at  liberty  to  use  that,  Cousin 
Roger,  if  you  like." 

I  thanked  him;  and  said  I  would  do  so. 


ODDSFISH!  53 

The  rest  of  that  day  I  spent  in  going  about  the  house, 
and  acquainting  myself  with  it  all.  My  Cousin  Dorothy 
shewed  me  the  rooms.  Her  own  was  a  little  one  at  the  head 
of  the  stairs;  and  she  told  me,  smiling,  that  a  ghost  was  said 
to  walk  there. 

"  But  I  have  never  been  troubled  with  it,"  she  said.  "  It 
is  a  tall  old  woman,  they  say,  who  comes  up  the  stairs  and 
into  the  room;  but  she  does  no  harm  to  anyone." 

Next  her  room,  along  the  front  of  the  house,  lay  two  other 
greater  rooms,  one  with  a  fire-place  and  one  without:  then 
was  my  chamber,  and  then  her  father's:  and  upstairs  were 
the  attics  where  the  men  lay.  The  maids  lay  in  two  little 
rooms  above  the  kitchen. 

It  was  mighty  pleasant  to  me  to  be  with  my  Cousin 
Dorothy.  She  had  changed  her  riding  clothes  into  others 
more  suitable  for  a  country  maid — with  a  white  starched 
neckerchief  that  came  down  upon  her  shoulders,  and  a  grey 
dress  and  petticoat  below  that.  Her  sleeves  were  short,  as 
the  custom  is  in  the  country,  with  great  linen  cuffs  folded 
back  upon  them,  so  as  to  leave  her  hands  and  arms  to  the 
elbow  free  for  her  occupations.  But  most  of  all  I  loved  her 
simplicity  and  her  quietness  and  her  discretion.  Her  father 
bade  her  expressly  to  shew  me  all  the  house;  or  she  would 
not  have  done  it,  for  she  was  very  maidenly  and  modest; 
but  as  soon  as  he  said  that,  she  did  it  without  affectation. 
She  shewed  me  the  parlour  too,  with  the  hangings  upon  the 
walls,  and  the  chapel  of  the  Grail,  with  the  Grail  itself  upon 
an  altar  within,  flanked  by  two  candlesticks,  that  was  repre- 
sented over  the  fire-place.  She  came  out  with  me  too  to 
shew  me  the  bakehouse  where  the  baking  was  already  begun, 
and  the  brewhouse — both  of  which  too  were  all  built  of 
timber  and  plaster;  and  there  my  Cousin  Tom  came  upon 
us,  and  carried  me  off  to  see  his  garden  and  his  pasture; 
for  he  farmed  a  few  acres  about  here,  and  made  a  good  profit 
out  of  it:  and  it  was  while  I  walked  with  him  that  for  the 
first  time  I  understood  what  his  intention  was  towards  me. 

He  was  speaking,  as  he  very  often  did,  of  his  daughter 
Dorothy — which  I  had  taken  to  be  a  father's  affection  only. 


54  ODDSFISH! 

(We  were  walking  at  the  time  up  and  down  in  the  pasture 
below  the  garden;  and  the  house  lay  visible  among  the  gar- 
dens, very  fair  and  peaceful  with  the  sunlight  upon  it.) 

"  She  will  be  something  of  an  heiress,"  he  said ;  "  and  when 
I  say  that,  I  do  not  mean  that  she  will  have  as  many  acres 
as  yourself.  But  she  will  have  near  a  thousand  pound  a 
year  so  soon  as  poor  Tom  Jermyn  dies:  and  I  may  die  any 
day,  for  I  am  short  in  the  neck,  and  might  very  well  be  taken 
with  an  apoplexy.  I  wish  above  all  things  then,  to  see  her 
safely  married  before  I  go — to  some  solid  man  who  will  care 
for  her.  There  is  a  plenty  of  Protestants  about  here,  that 
would  have  her;  for  she  is  a  wonderful  housewife,  and  as 
pure  as  Diana  too." 

He  paused  at  that;  and  looked  at  me  in  that  cunning  way 
of  his  that  I  misliked  so  much.  Yet  even  now  I  did  not 
see  what  he  would  be  at;  for  gentlemen  do  not  usually  fling 
their  daughters  at  the  head  of  any  man;  and  he  knew  nothing 
of  me  but  that  I  was  pretty  rich  and  would  be  more  so  one 
day.  But  I  suppose  that  that  was  enough  for  him. 

"  I  had  thought  at  one  time,"  he  went  on,  "  of  sending  her 
to  Court.  I  could  get  her  in,  under  the  protection  of  my 
Lady  Arlington.  But  the  Court  is  no  place  for  a  maiden 
who  knows  nothing  of  the  world.  What  would  you  advise, 
Cousin  Roger?  I  would  not  have  her  marry  a  Protestant, 
if  I  could  help  it." 

And  with  that  he  looked  at  me  again. 

Then,  all  of  a  sudden  I  saw  his  meaning;  and  my  heart 
stood  still;  for  not  only  did  his  words  reveal  him  to  me,  but 
myself  also;  and  I  understood  why  he  had  questioned  me  so 
closely  in  town,  as  to  my  fortune.  I  cannot  say  at  this  time 
that  I  loved  my  Cousin  Dolly — for  I  had  not  known  that  I 
loved  her — but  his  words  were  very  effective.  Indeed  I  had 
not  thought  to  marry,  though  I  was  free  to  do  so;  for  a 
novice  does  not  quickly  shake  off  his  monkishness.  I  had 
thought  far  more  of  the  mission  I  was  come  to  England 
upon,  and  what  I  could  accomplish,  with  God's  blessing, 
for  Christ  and  His  Church.  But,  as  I  say,  my  heart  stood 
still  when  my  cousin  said  that  to  me;  for,  as  in  a  vision, 


ODDSFISH!  55 

I  saw  myself  here  as  her  husband,  and  her  as  my  wife,  in 
this  house  among  its  gardens.  Here  we  might  live  a  life 
which  even  the  angels  might  envy — harmless,  innocent,  sep- 
arate from  sinners,  as  the  Apostle  says — not  accomplishing, 
maybe,  any  great  things,  but  at  least  refraining  from  the 
hindering  of  God's  Kingdom.  The  summers  would  come  and 
go,  and  we  still  be  here,  with  our  children  growing  about 
us,  to  inherit  the  place  and  the  name,  such  as  it  was.  And 
no  harm  done,  no  vows  broken,  no  offence  to  any.  Such 
thoughts  as  these  did  not  as  yet  shew  any  very  great  ardour 
of  love  in  me;  and  indeed  I  had  not  got  this  yet;  but  she 
was  the  first  maid  I  had  ever  had  any  acquaintance  with,  at 
least  for  some  while;  and  this  no  doubt,  had  its  effect  upon 
me.  All  this  came  upon  me  of  a  sudden;  and  as  I  lifted 
my  eyes  I  saw  my  Cousin  Dolly's  sunbonnet  going  among 
the  herbs  of  the  garden;  and  saw  her  in  my  mind's  eye  too 
as  I  had  seen  her  just  now,  cool  and  innocent  and  good,  with 
that  touch  of  hidden  fire  in  her  eyes  that  draws  a  man's  heart. 
Neither  had  she  looked  unkindly  on  me:  our  intimacy  had 
made  wonderful  progress,  though  I  had  known  her  scarcely 
more  than  a  week:  she  had  spoken  to  me  of  her  father,  too, 
as  one  would  speak  only  to  a  friend.  Yet  I  could  not  say  one 
word  of  this  to  him;  for  he  had  not  said  anything  explicit  to 
me:  and  I  knew,  too,  that  I  must  give  myself  time;  for  a  man 
does  not,  if  he  is  wise,  change  the  course  of  his  life  on  an 
instant's  thought.  Yet  I  must  not  say  No  outright,  and 
thereby,  maybe,  bang  the  door  on  my  new  hopes. 

"  I  could  not  advise  you  at  present,"  I  said.  "  I  do  not 
know  my  cousin  well  enough  to  advise  anything.  I  am  one 
with  you  so  far  as  concerns  the  Court:  I  cannot  think  that 
any  Catholic  father  should  send  his  daughter  into  such  a 
den  of  lions — and  worse.  And  I  am  one  with  you  as  con- 
cerns marrying  her  to  a  Protestant.  Yet  I  can  say  no  more 
at  present/' 

And  at  that  my  Cousin  Tom  looked  at  me  in  such  a 
manner  as  near  to  ruin  his  own  scheme;  for  his  eyes  said,  if 
his  mouth  did  not,  that  now  we  understood  one  another;  and 
were  upon  the  same  side,  or  at  least  not  opposed;  and  to 


56  ODDSFISH! 

think  that  I  was  leagued  with  him  against  her  made  my  heart 
hot  with  anger. 

"Very  well/'  he  said;  "we  will  say  no  more  at  present." 
And  he  bade  me  observe  an  old  ram  that  was  regarding  us, 
with  a  face  not  unlike  Cousin  Tom's  own:  but  I  suppose 
that  he  did  not  know  this. 

In  this  manner,  then,  began  our  life  at  Hare  Street;  for 
I  was  there  six  weeks  before  I  went  back  again  to  London 
in  the  way  I  shall  relate  presently.  The  days  were  passed 
for  the  most  time,  from  rising  until  dinner,  upon  the  farm, 
or  in  hunting;  for  we  rode  out  now  and  again  with  the 
neighbours  after  a  stag  who  had  come  from  the  woods.  But 
we  did  not,  because  of  the  Papistry  of  the  house,  see  a  great 
deal  of  the  neighbours,  or  they  of  us.  The  parson  of  Hor- 
mead  came  to  see  us  now  and  again,  and  behaved  very 
civilly:  but  during  those  six  weeks  we  had  no  sight  of  a 
priest,  except  once  when  we  rode  to  Standon  to  hear  mass. 
After  dinner,  I  gave  myself  up  to  writing;  for  I  thought  that 
I  could  best  serve  His  Holiness  in  this  way,  making  my 
diary  each  day  in  shorthand  (as  I  had  learned  from  an 
Italian)  ;  and  it  is  from  that  very  diary  that  this  narrative 
is  composed;  and  I  wrote  too  a  report  or  two,  apologizing 
for  the  poverty  of  it,  which  I  determined  to  send  to  the  Car- 
dinal Secretary  as  soon  as  I  had  an  opportunity.  I  read 
too  a  little  Italian  or  Spanish  or  French  every  day;  and 
thus,  for  the  most  part  kept  to  my  chamber.  But  all  my 
papers  I  put  away  each  afternoon  in  the  little  hiding-place 
in  my  chamber;  and  made  excuse  for  keeping  my  room  on  the 
score  of  my  practice  in  languages. 

We  supped  at  five  o'clock — which  was  the  country  hour; 
and  after  that,  to  me,  came  the  best  part  of  the  day. 

For  my  Cousin  Dorothy,  I  had  learned,  was  an  extraordi- 
nary fine  musician.  We  had,  of  course,  no  music  such  as 
was  possible  in  town;  but  she  had  taught  a  maid  to  play 
upon  a  fiddle,  and  herself  played  upon  the  bass-viol;  and 
the  two  together  would  play  in  the  Great  Chamber  after 
supper  for  an  hour  or  two,  when  the  dishes  were  washed. 


ODDSFISH!  57 

In  this  manner  we  had  many  a  corrant  and  saraband;  and 
I  was  able  to  prick  down  for  them  too  some  Italian  music  I 
remembered,  which  she  set  for  the  two  instruments.  Some- 
times, too,  when  Cousin  Tom  was  not  too  drowsy  after  his 
day  and  his  ale,  the  three  would  sing  and  I  would  listen; 
for  my  Cousin  Tom  sang  a  plump  bass  very  well  when  he 
was  in  the  mood  for  it.  As  for  me,  I  had  but  a  monk's 
voice,  that  is  very  well  when  all  the  choir  is  a-cry  together, 
but  not  of  much  use  under  other  circumstances.  In  this 
way  then  I  made  acquaintance  with  a  number  of  songs — 
such  as  Mr.  Wise's  "  It  is  not  that  I  love  you  less  "  and  his 
duet  "Go,  perjured  man!"  of  which  the  words  are  taken 
from  Herrick's  "  Hesperides,"  and  of  which  the  music  was 
made  by  Mr.  Wise  (who  was  a  gentleman  of  the  Chapel 
Royal)  at  His  Majesty's  express  wish. 

I  have  many  very  pleasant  memories  of  Hare  Street,  but 
I  think  none  more  pleasant  than  of  the  music  in  the  Great 
Chamber.  I  would  sit  near  the  window,  and  see  them  in 
the  evening  light,  with  their  faces  turned  to  me;  or,  when 
it  grew  late  with  the  candlelight  upon  them  and  their  dresses : 
or  sometimes  when  the  evening  was  fair  and  warm  I  would 
sit  out  upon  the  lawn,  and  they  at  the  window,  and  listen 
to  the  singing  coming  out  of  the  candlelight,  and  see  them 
move  against  it.  My  Cousin  Dorothy  would  make  herself 
fine  in  the  evening — not,  I  mean,  like  a  Court  lady,  for  these 
dresses  of  hers  were  put  away  in  lavender — but  with  a  lace 
neckerchief  on  her  throat  and  shoulders,  and  lace  ruffles  at 
her  wrists. 

Yet  all  this  while  I  made  no  progress  with  her  or  even 
with  myself;  for  every  time  that  I  was  alone  with  her,  or 
when  her  father  was  asleep  in  his  chair,  a  remembrance  of 
what  he  had  said  came  over  me  with  a  kind  of  sickness,  and 
I  could  not  say  one  word  that  might  seem  to  set  me  on  his 
side  against  her;  and  so  I  was  torn  two  ways,  and  the  very 
thing  by  which  he  had  hoped  to  encourage  me,  (or  rather 
to  help  himself)  had  the  contrary  effect,  and  silenced  me 
when  I  might  have  spoken. 


58  ODDSFISH! 

For  I  understood  very  well  by  now  what  was  in  his  mind. 
He  saw  no  prospect  of  marrying  Dolly  to  a  Protestant — or 
I  take  it,  if  I  know  the  man,  he  would  have  leapt  at  it; 
neither  was  there  any  hope  of  marrying  her  to  a  Catholic; 
and  as  for  his  talk  about  my  Lady  Arlington  I  did  not  believe 
one  word  of  it.  Therefore,  since  I  was  at  hand,  and  would 
be  a  wealthy  man  some  day,  and  indeed  even  now  did  very 
well  on  my  French  rentes,  he  had  set  his  heart  on  this.  It 
was  not  wholly  evil;  yet  the  cold-bloodedness  of  it  affected 
me  like  a  stink.  .  .  . 

The  matter  ended,  for  the  time,  on  the  evening  of  the 
thirteenth  of  August,  in  the  following  manner,  when  my 
adventures,  of  which  my  life,  ever  since  my  audience  with 
our  Most  Holy  Lord  the  Pope,  had  been  but  a  prelude, 
properly  began — those  adventures  for  whose  sake  I  have 
begun  this  transcript  from  my  diary,  and  this  adventure  was 
pre-shadowed,  as  I  think  now,  by  one  or  two  curious 
happenings. 

On  the  morning  of  the  thirteenth  of  August,  two  days  be- 
fore the  Feast  of  the  Assumption  (on  which  we  had  intended 
to  hear  mass  again  at  Standon)  my  Cousin  Dorothy  came 
down  a  little  late,  and  found  us  already  over  our  oatbread 
and  small  beer  which  we  were  accustomed  to  take  upon 
rising — and  which  was  called  our  "  morning." 

"  I  slept  very  ill/'  she  said;  and  no  more  then. 

Afterwards,  however,  as  I  was  lighting  my  pipe  in  the 
little  court  at  the  back  of  the  house,  she  came  out  and 
beckoned  me  in;  and  I  saw  that  something  was  amiss.  I 
went  after  her  into  the  little  hung  parlour  and  we  sat  down. 

"I  slept  very  ill,  cousin,"  she  said  again;  and  I  observed 
again  that  her  eyes  looked  hollow.  "  And  I  dare  not  tell 
my  father  my  fancies,"  she  said,  "  for  he  is  terrified  at  such 
things;  and  has  forbade  the  servants  to  speak  of  such 
things." 

"  The  tall  old  woman,  then?  "  I  said;  for  I  had  not  forgot- 
ten what  she  had  told  me  before. 

"  Yes,"  she  said,  smiling  a  little  painfully — "  and  yet  I 


ODDSFISH!  59 

was  not  at  all  afraid  when  she  came;  or  when  I  thought  that 
she  did." 

"  Tell  me  the  whole  tale/'   I  said. 

"  I  awakened  about  one  o'clock  this  morning,"  she  said, 
"  and  knew  that  my  sleep  was  gone  from  me  altogether. 
Yet  I  did  not  feel  afraid  or  restless;  but  lay  there  content 
enough,  expecting  something,  but  what  it  would  be  I  did 
not  know.  The  cocks  were  crowing  as  I  awakened ;  and 
then  were  silent;  and  it  appeared  to  me  as  if  all  the  world 
were  listening.  After  a  while — I  should  say  it  was  ten 
minutes  or  thereabouts — I  turned  over  with  my  face  to  the 
wall;  and  as  I  did  so,  I  heard  a  soft  step  coming  up  the 
stairs.  One  of  the  maids,  thought  I,  late  abed  or  early  rising, 
for  sickness.  When  the  steps  came  to  my  door  they  ceased; 
and  a  hand  was  laid  upon  the  latch;  and  at  that  I  made  to 
move ;  but  could  not.  Yet  it  was  not  fear  that  held  me  there, 
though  it  was  like  a  gentle  pricking  all  over  me.  Then 
the  latch  was  lifted,  and  still  I  could  not  move,  not  even 
my  eyes;  and  a  person  came  in,  and  across  the  floor  to 
my  bed.  And  even  then  I  could  not  move  nor  cry  out. 
Presently  the  person  spoke;  but  I  do  not  know  what  she  said, 
though  it  was  only  a  word  or  two:  but  the  voice  came  from 
high  up,  as  almost  from  the  canopy  of  the  bed,  and  it  was  the 
voice  of  an  old  woman,  speaking  in  a  kind  of  whisper.  I 
said  nothing;  for  I  could  not:  and  then  again  the  steps 
moved  across  the  floor,  and  out  of  the  door;  and  I  heard 
the  latch  shut  again;  and  then  they  passed  away  down  the 
I  stairs." 

My  Cousin  Dorothy  was  pale  as  death  by  this  time;  and 
her  blue  eyes  were  set  wide  open.  I  made  to  take  her  by  the 
hand;  but  I  did  not. 

"  You  were  dreaming,"  I  said;  "  it  was  the  memory  of  the 
tale  you  have  heard." 

She  shook  her  head;  but  she  said  nothing. 

"  You  have  never  had  it  before  ?  "   I    asked. 

"Never,"  she  said. 

"  You  must  lie  in  another  chamber  for  a  week  or  two, 
and  forget  it." 


60  ODDSFISH! 

*'  I  cannot  do  that,"  she  said.  "  My  father  would  know 
of  it."  And  she  spoke  so  courageously  that  I  was  re- 
assured. 

"Well;   you   must   cry   out   if  it   comes    again.     You   ca 
have  your  maid  to  sleep  with  you." 

"  I  might  do  that,"  she  said ;  and  then — 

"  Cousin  Roger ;  doth  God  permit  these  things  to  provid 
us  against  some  danger  ?  " 

"  It  may  be  so/'  I  said,  to  quiet  her;  "  but  be  sure  that  n 
harm  can  come  of  it." 

At  that  we  heard  her  father  calling  her;  and  she  stood  up 

"  I  have  told  you  as  a  secret,  Cousin  Roger ;  there  must  b 
no  word  to  my  father." 

I  pledged  myself  to  that;  for  I  could  see  what  a  spiri 
she  had;  and  we  sraid  no  more  about  it  then. 

As  the  day  passed  on,  the  sky  grew  heavy — or  rather  the 
air;  for  the  sky  was  still  blue  overhead;  only  on  the  horizon 
to  the  south  the  clouds  that  are  called  cumuli  began  to 
gather.  The  air  was  so  hot  too  that  I  could  scarcely 
bear  to  work,  for  I  had  set  myself  to  take  some  plant-cuttin 
in  a  little  glass-house  that  was  in  the  garden  against  th 
south  wall;  and  by  noon  the  sky  was  overcast. 

After  dinner  I  went  up  to  my  chamber;  and  a  great  heavi 
ness  fell  upon  me,  till  I  looked  out  of  the  window  and  saw 
that  beyond  the  limes  the  clouds  shewed  a  reddish  tint  that 
marked  the  approach  of  thunder;  and  at  that  grew  reassured 
again;  and  not  only  for  myself  but  for  my  Cousin  Dorothy, 
whose  tale  had  lain  close  on  my  heart  through  the  morning: 
for  this  thought  I,  is  the  explanation  of  it  all:  the  maid 
was  oppressed  by  the  heat  and  the  approaching  storm,  and 
fancied  all  the  rest. 

I  fell  asleep  in  my  chair,  over  my  Italian;  and  when  I 
awakened  it  was  near  supper-time,  and  the  heaviness  was 
upon  me  again,  like  lead;  and  my  diary  not  written. 

After  supper  and  some  talk,  I  made  excuse  to  do  my 
writing;  and  as  it  was  growing  dark,  and  I  was  finishing, 
I  heard  music  from  the  Great  Chamber  beneath.  They  were 
singing  together  a  song  I  had  not  heard  before;  and  I  lis- 


iy 

E 

n- 


ODDSFISH!  61 

tened,  well  pleased,  promising  myself  the  pleasure  too  of 
going  downstairs  presently  and  hearing  it. 

Between  two  of  the  verses,  I  heard  on  a  sudden,  over  the 
hill-top  beyond  the  village,  the  beat  of  a  horse's  hoofs,  gal- 
loping; but  I  thought  no  more  of  it.  At  the  end  of  the  next 
verse,  even  before  it  was  finished,  I  heard  the  hoofs  again, 
through  the  music;  I  ran  to  the  window  to  see  who  rode  so 
fast;  and  was  barely  in  time  to  see  a  courier,  in  a  blue  coat, 
dash  past  the  new  iron  gate,  pulling  at  his  horse  as  he  did 
so;  an  instant  later,  I  heard  the  horse  turn  in  at  the  yard 
gate,  and  immediately  the  singing  ceased. 

As  I  came  down  the  stairs,  I  saw  my  Cousin  Dolly  run  out 
into  the  inner  lobby,  and  her  face,  in  the  dusk,  was  as  white 
as  paper;  and  the  same  instant  there  came  a  hammering  at 
the  hall  door. 

"What  is  it?  What  is  it?"  cried  she;  and  clung  to  me 
as  I  came  down. 

I  saw,  through  the  inner  door,  my  Cousin  Tom  unbolting 
the  outer  one;  he  had  taken  down  a  pistol  that  hung  upon 
the  wall,  for  the  highwaymen  waxed  very  bold  sometimes; 
then  when  he  opened  the  door,  I  heard  my  name. 

I  went  forward,  and  received  from  the  courier,  a  sealed 
letter;  and  there,  in  the  twilight  I  opened  and  read  it.  It 
was  from  Mr.  Chiffinch,  bidding  me  come  to  town  at  once  on 
King's  business. 

"  I  must  ride  to  town,"  I  said.  "  Cousin  Tom,  will  you 
order  my  horse  for  me;  and  another  for  this  man?  I  do 
not  know  when  I  shall  be  back  again." 

And,  as  I  said  these  words,  I  saw  my  Cousin  Dorothy's 
face  looking  at  me  from  the  dusk  of  the  inner  hall,  and  knew 
what  was  in  her  mind;  and  that  it  was  the  matter  of  the  tall 
old  woman  in  her  room. 


CHAPTER    V 

THE  storm  was  broken  before  we  could  set  out,  and  the  ride 
so  far  as  Hoddesdon  was  such  as  I  shall  never  forget;  for 
the  wind  was  violent  against  us ;  and  it  was  pitchy  dark  before 
we  came  even  to  Puckeridge;  the  thunder  was  as  if  great 
guns  were  shot  off,  or  bags  of  marbles  dashed  on  an  oak  floor 
overhead;  and  the  countryside  was  as  light  as  day  under  the 
flashes,  so  that  we  could  see  the  trees  and  their  shadows,  and, 
I  think,  sometimes  the  green  colour  of  them  too.  We  wore, 
all  three  of  us — the  courier,  I  and  my  man  James — horse- 
men's cloaks,  but  these  were  saturated  within  half  an  hour. 
We  had  no  fear  of  highwaymen,  even  had  we  not  been  armed, 
for  the  artillery  of  heaven  had  long  ago  driven  all  other 
within  doors. 

The  hardest  part  of  the  journey  was  that  I  knew,  no  more 
than  the  dead — indeed  not  so  much — why  it  was  that  Mr. 
Chiffinch  had  sent  for  me.  He  had  said  nothing  in  his  letter, 
save  that  His  Majesty  wished  my  presence  at  once;  and  on 
the  outside  of  the  letter  was  written  the  word  "  Haste,"  three 
times  over.  I  thought  of  a  hundred  matters  that  it  might  be, 
but  none  of  them  satisfied  me. 

It  is  near  forty  miles  from  Hare  Street  to  Whitehall;  but 
so  bad  was  the  way  that,  though  we  changed  horses  at  Walt- 
ham  Cross — at  the  Four  Swans — we  did  not  come  to  London 
until  eight  o'clock  in  the  morning;  and  it  was  half-past  eight 
before  we  rode  up  to  Whitehall.  The  last  part  of  the  jour- 
ney was  pretty  pleasant,  for  the  rain  held  off;  and  it  was 
strange  to  see  the  white  hard  light  of  the  clouded  dawn  upon 
the  fields  and  the  trees.  But  by  the  time  we  came  to  London 
it  was  long  ago  broad  day — by  three  or  four  hours  at  the 
least;  and  all  the  folks  were  abroad  in  the  streets. 

I  went  straight  to  Mr.  Chaffinch's  lodgings,  sending  my 
man  to  the  lodging  in  Covent  Garden,  to  bestow  the  horses 
and  to  come  again  to  the  guard-house  to  await  my  orders. 

62 


ODDSFISH!  63 

Mr.  Chiffinch  was  not  within,  for  he  Had  not  expected  me  so 
early,  a  servant  told  me;  but  he  had  looked  for  my  coming 
about  eleven  or  twelve  o'clock,  and  had  given  orders  that  I 
was  to  be  taken  to  a  closet  to  change  my  clothes  if  I  needed 
it.  This  I  did;  and  then  was  set  down  to  break  my  fast;  and 
while  I  was  at  it,  Mr.  Chiffinch  himself  came  in. 

He  told  me  that  I  had  done  very  well  to  come  so  swiftly; 
but  he  smiled  a  little  as  he  said  it. 

"  His  Majesty  is  closeted  with  one  or  two  more  until  ten 
o'clock.  I  will  send  to  let  him  know  you  are  come." 

I  did  not  ask  him  for  what  business  I  had  been  sent  for; 
since  he  did  not  choose  to  tell  me  himself;  and  he  went  out 
again.  But  he  was  presently  back  once  more;  and  told  me 
that  His  Majesty  would  see  me  at  once. 

My  mind  was  all  perturbed  as  I  went  with  him  in  the  rain 
across  the  passages:  I  felt  as  if  some  great  evil  threatened, 
but  I  could  make  no  conjecture  as  to  what  it  was  about;  or 
how  it  could  be  anything  that  was  at  once  so  sudden  and  that 
demanded  my  presence.  We  went  straight  up  the  stairs,  and 
across  the  same  ante-room;  and  Mr.  Chiffinch  flung  open  the 
door  of  the  same  little  closet  where  I  had  spoken  with  the 
King,  speaking  my  name  as  he  did  so. 

His  Majesty  was  sitting  in  the  very  same  place  where  he 
sat  before,  with  his  chair  wheeled  about,  so  that  he  faced 
three  men.  One  of  them  I  knew  at  once,  for  my  cousin  had 
pointed  him  out  to  me  in  the  park — my  Lord  Danby,  who 
was  Lord  Treasurer  at  this  time — and  he  was  sitting  at  the 
end  of  the  great  table,  nearest  to  the  King:  on  the  other  side 
of  the  table,  nearer  to  me  as  I  entered,  were  two  men,  upon 
whom  I  had  never  set  eyes  before — one  of  them,  a  little  man 
in  the  dress  of  an  apothecary  or  attorney;  and  the  other  a 
foolish-looking  minister  in  his  cassock  and  bands.  All  four 
turned  their  eyes  upon  me  as  I  came  in,  and  then  the  two 
who  were  standing,  turned  them  back  again  towards  His 
Majesty.  There  was  a  heap  of  papers  on  the  table  below  my 
Lord  Danby's  hand. 

His  Majesty  made  a  little  inclination  of  his  head  to  me,  but 
said  nothing,  putting  out  his  hand ;  and  when  I  had  kissed  it, 


64  ODDSFISH! 

and  stood  back  with  the  other  two,  he  continued  speaking  as 
if  I  were  not  there.  His  face  had  a  look,  as  if  he  were  a 
little  ennuye,  and  yet  a  little  merry  too. 

"  Continue,  my  Lord/'  he  said. 

"  Now,  doctor,"  said  my  Lord,  in  a  patient  kind  of  voice 
as  if  he  encouraged  the  other,  "  you  tell  us  that  all  these 
papers  were  thrust  under  your  door.  By  whom  were  they 
thrust,  do  you  think  ?  " 

"  My  Lord,  I  have  my  suspicions,"  said  the  minister;  "  but 
I  do  not  know." 

"  Can  you  verify  these  suspicions  of  yours,  do  you  think  ?  " 

"  My  Lord,  I  can  try." 

"  And  under  how  many  heads  are  they  ranged  ? "  asked 
the  King,  drawling  a  little  in  his  speech. 

"Sir;  they  are  under  forty-three  heads." 

The  King  rolled  his  eyes,  as  if  in  a  droll  kind  of  despair; 
but  he  said  nothing. 

"And  you  tell  me "  began  my  Lord;  but  His  Majesty 

broke  in: 

"  Mon  Dieu!"  he  said;  "and  here  is  good  Mr.  Mallock, 
come  here  hot-foot,  and  knows  not  a  word  of  the  proceedings. 
Mr.  Mallock,  these  good  gentlemen — Doctor  Tonge,  a  very 
worthy  divine  and  a  physician  of  the  soul,  and  Mr.  Kirby, 
a  very  worthy  chymist,  and  a  physician  of  the  body — are 
come  to  tell  me  of  a  plot  against  my  life  on  the  part  of  some 
of  my  faithful  lieges,  whereby  they  would  thrust  me  swiftly 
down  to  hell — body  and  soul  together.  So  that,  I  take  it  is 
why  God  Almighty  hath  raised  up  these  physicians  to  save 
me.  I  wish  you  to  hear  their  evidence.  That  is  why  I  sent 
for  you.  Continue,  my  Lord." 

My  Lord  looked  a  little  displeased,  pursing  up  his  mouth, 
at  the  manner  in  which  the  King  told  the  tale;  but  he  said 
nothing  on  that  point. 

"  Grove  and  Pickering,  then,  it  appears,  were  to  shoot  His 
Majesty;  and  Wakeman  to  poison  him " 

("  They  will  take  no  risks  you  see,  Mr.  Mallock,"  put  in 
the  King.) 

"Yes,    my    Lord,"    said    Tonge.     "They    were    to    have 


ODDSFISH!  65 

-screwed  pistols,  with  silver  bullets,  champed,  that  the  wounds 
may  not  heal." 

("Prudent!  prudent!"  cried  the  King.) 

Then  my  Lord  Danby  lost  his  patience;  and  pushed  the 
•papers  together  with  a  sweep  of  his  arm. 

"  Sir,"  he  said,  "  I  think  we  may  let  these  worthy  gentle- 
men go  for  the  present,  until  the  papers  are  examined." 

"  With  all  my  heart,"  said  the  King.  "  But  not  Mr. 
Mallock.  I  wish  to  speak  privately  with  Mr.  Mallock." 

So  the  two  were  dismissed;  but  I  noticed  that  the  King  did 
not  give  them  his  hand  to  kiss.  They  appeared  to  me  a 
pair  of  silly  folks,  rather  than  wicked  as  others  thought  them 
afterwards,  who  themselves  partly  believed,  at  any  rate,  the 
foolish  tale  that  they  told.  Mr.  Kirby  was  a  little  man,  as  I 
have  said,  with  a  sparrow-like  kind  of  air;  and  Doctor  Tonge 
had  no  great  distinction  of  any  kind,  except  his  look  of  fool- 
ishness. 

When  they  were  gone,  my  Lord  Danby  turned  to  the  King, 
with  a  kind  of  indignation. 

"Your  Majesty  may  be  pleased  to  make  a  mock  of  it  all; 
but  your  loving  subjects  cannot.  I  have  permission  then  to 
examine  these  papers,  and  report  to  Your  Majesty?" 

"  Why,  yes,"  said  the  King,  "  so  you  do  not  inflict  the 
forty-three  heads  upon  me.  I  have  one  of  my  own  which 
I  must  care  for." 

My  Lord  said  no  more;  he  gathered  his  papers  without  a 
word,  saluted  the  King  at  a  distance,  still  without  speaking, 
and  went  out,  giving  me  a  sharp  glance  as  he  went. 

"Now,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  His  Majesty,  "sit  you  down 
and  listen  to  me." 

I  sat  down ;  but  I  was  all  bewildered  as  to  why  I  had  been 
sent  for.  What  had  I  to  do  with  such  affairs  as  these? 

"Do  you  know  of  a  man  called  Grove?"  the  King  asked 
me  suddenly. 

Now  the  name  had  meant  nothing  to  me  when  I  had  heard 
it  just  now;  but  when  it  was  put  to  me  in  this  way  I  remem- 
bered. I  was  about  to  speak,  when  he  spoke  again. 

"Or  Pickering?"  he  said. 


66  ODDSFISH! 

"  Sir ;  a  man  called  Grove  is  known  to  me ;  but  no  Pickei 
ing/' 

"  Ha !  then  there  is  a  man  called  Grove — if  it  be  the  sam< 
He  is  a  Papist?  " 

"  Sir,   he  is   a   lay-brother   of   the   Society   of   Jesus,   am 
dwells " 

The  King  held  up  his  hand. 

"  I  wish  to  know  nothing  more  than  I  am  obliged.     Pickei 
ing  is  some  sort  of  Religious,  too,  they  tell  me.     And 
kind  of  a  man  is  Grove?  " 

"  He  is  a  modest  kind  of  man,  Sir.     He  opened  the  d< 
to  me,  and  I   saw  him  a-laying  -of  the  table  for  dinner, 
know  no  more  of  him  than  that." 

Then  the  King  drew  himself  up  in  his  chair  suddenly, 
I  had  seen  him  do  before,  and  his  mocking  manner  left  hi) 
It  was  as  if  another  man  sat  there. 

"  Mr.   Mallock,"   he   said,   shaking  his   finger  at  me   with 
great   solemnity,   "  listen  to  me.     I   had  thought  for   a  loi 
time  that  an  attempt  would  be  made  against  the  Catholics 
There  is   a  great  deal  of   feeling  in  the  country,  now  th* 
my  brother  is  one  of  them,  and  I  myself  am  known  not  to 
be  disinclined  towards  them.     And  I  make  no  doubt  at  all 
that   this   is   such   an   attempt.     They   have   begun   with   the 
Jesuits;  for  that  will  be  the  most  popular  cry;  and  they  have 
added    in    Sir    George    Wakeman's    name,    Her    Majesty's 
physician,  to  give  colour  to  it  all.     By  and  by  they  will  add 
other  names;  (you  will  see  if  it  be  not  so),  until  not  a  Jesuit, 
and  scarce  a  Catholic  is  left  who  is  not  embroiled  in  it.     I 
do  not  know  who  is  behind  this  matter;  it  may  be  my  Lord 
Danby  himself,  or  Shaftesbury,  or  a  score  of  others.     Or  it 
may  be  some  discontented  fellow  who  will  make  his  fortune 
over  it;  for  all  know  that  such  a  cry  as  this  will  be  a  popula 
one.     But  this   I  know   for   a  verity — that  there  is  not  on 
word  of  truth  in  the  tale  from  beginning  to  end;  and  it  wi 
appear  so  presently,  no  doubt.     Yet  meanwhile  a  great  de* 
of  mischief  may  be  done;  and  my  brother,  may  be,  and  eve 
Her  Majesty,  may  suffer  for  it,  if  we  are  not  very  pruden 
Now,  Mr.  Mallock,  I  sent  for  you,  for  I  did  not  know  wh 


ODDSFISH!  67 

else  to  send  for.  You  are  not  known  in  England,  or  scarcely : 
you  come  commended  to  me  by  the  Holy  Father  himself;  you 
are  neither  priest  nor  Jesuit.  What,  then,  you  must  do  for 
me  is  this.  First,  you  must  speak  not  one  word  of  the 
matter  to  any  living  soul — not  even  your  confessor;  for  if  we 
can  quash  the  whole  matter  privately,  so  much  the  better.  I 
had  you  in  just  now,  that  Danby  and  the  others  might  see 
that  you  had  my  confidence;  but  I  said  nothing  of  who  you 
were  nor  where  you  came  from;  and,  if  they  inquire,  they 
will  know  nothing  but  that  you  come  commended  by  the  am- 
bassadors. Very  well  then;  you  must  go  about  freely 
amongst  the  Jesuits,  and  rake  together  any  evidence  that  you 
can  that  may  be  of  use  to  them  if  the  affair  should  ever  be 
made  public ;  and  yet  they  must  know  nothing  of  the  reason — 
I  lay  that  upon  you.  And  you  must  mix  freely  in  taverns 
and  coffee-houses,  especially  among  the  smaller  gentry,  and 
hear  what  you  can — as  to  whether  the  plot  hath  yet  leaked 
out — (for  it  is  no  less) — and  what  they  think  of  it;  and  if 
not,  what  it  is  that  they  say  of  the  Catholics.  You  under- 
stand me,  Mr.  Mallock  ?  " 

I  said,  Yes:  but  my  heart  had  grown  sick  during  the 
King's  speech  to  me;  for  all  that  I  had  ever  thought  in 
Rome,  of  England,  seemed  on  the  point  of  fulfilment.  His 
Majesty  too  had  spoken  with  an  extraordinary  vehemence, 
that  was  like  a  fire  for  heat.  But  I  must  have  commanded 
my  countenance  well;  for  he  commended  me  on  my  behaviour. 

"  Your  manner  is  excellent,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  both 
just  now  and  a  few  minutes  ago.  You  take  it  very  well. 
And  I  have  your  word  upon  it  that  you  will  observe  se- 
crecy ?  " 

"  My  word  on  it,  Sir,"  I  said. 

Then  His  Majesty  leaned  back  again  and  relaxed  a  little. 

"  That  is  very  well,"  he  said;  "  and  I  think  I  have  chosen 
my  man  well.  You  need  not  fear,  Mr.  Mallock,  that  any 
harm  will  come  to  the  good  Fathers,  or  to  Grove  or  Pickering 
either.  They  cannot  lay  a  finger  upon  them  without  my 
consent;  and  that  they  shall  never  have.  It  is  to  prevent 
rather  the  scandal  of  the  whole  matter  that  I  am  anxious; 


68  ODDSFISH! 

and  to  save  the  Queen  and  my  brother  from  any  trouble. 
You  do  not  know  yet,  I  think,  all  the  feeling  that  there  is 
upon  the  Catholics." 

I  said  nothing:  it  was  my  business  to  listen  rather,  and 
indeed  what  His  Majesty  said  next  was  worth  hearing. 

"  There  be  three  kinds  of  religion  in  my  realm,"  he  said. 
"  The  Presbyterian  and  Independent  and  that  kind — for  I 
count  those  all  one;  and  that  is  no  religion  for  a  gentleman. 
And  there  is  the  Church  of  England,  of  which  I  am  the 
head,  which  numbers  many  gentlemen,  but  is  no  religion  for 
a  Christian;  and  there  is  the  Catholic,  which  is  the  only  re- 
ligion (so  far  as  I  am  acquainted  with  any),  suited  for  both 
gentlemen  and  Christians.  That  is  my  view  of  the  matter, 
Mr.  Mallock." 

The  merry  look  was  back  in  his  eyes,  melancholy  though 
they  always  were,  as  he  said  this.  For  myself,  it  was  on  the 
tip  of  my  tongue  to  ask  His  Majesty  why,  if  he  thought  so, 
he  did  not  act  upon  it.  But  I  did  not,  thinking  it  too  bold 
on  so  short  an  acquaintance;  and  I  think  I  was  right  in  that; 
for  he  put  it  immediately  into  words  himself. 

"  I  know  what  you  are  thinking,  Mr.  Mallock.  Well ;  I 
am  not  yet  a  good  enough  Christian  for  that." 

I  knew  very  well  what  His  Majesty  meant  when  he  said 
that:  he  was  thinking  of  his  women  to  whom  as  yet  he  could 
not  say  good-bye;  and  the  compassion  surged  up  in  me 
again  at  the  thought  that  a  man  so  noble  as  this,  and  who 
knew  so  much  (as  his  speeches  had  shewed  me),  could  be  so 
ignoble  too — so  tied  and  bound  by  his  sins;  and  it  affected 
me  so  much — here  in  his  presence  that  had  so  strange  a 
fascination  in  it — that  it  was  as  if  a  hand  had  squeezed  my 
throat,  so  that  I  could  not  speak,  even  if  I  would. 

"  Well,  sir,"  he  said,  "  I  must  thank  you  for  coming  so 
quickly  when  I  sent  for  you.  Mr.  Chiffinch  knows  why  you 
are  come;  but  no  one  else;  and  even  to  him  you  must  not  say 
one  word.  You  will  do  well  and  discreetly;  of  that  I  am 
sure.  I  will  send  for  you  again  presently;  and  you  may  come 
to  me  when  you  will." 


ODDSFISH!  69 

He  gave  me  his  hand  to  kiss;  and  I  went  out,  promising 
that  no  pains  should  be  spared. 

It  was  indeed  a  difficult  task  that  His  Majesty  had  laid 
upon  me.  I  was  to  speak  freely  to  the  priests,  yet  not  freely ; 
and  how  to  collect  the  evidence  that  was  required  I  knew 
not;  since  I  knew  nothing  at  all  of  when  the  conspiring  was 
said  to  be  done,  nor  what  would  be  of  avail  to  protect  them; 
and  all  the  way  to  my  lodgings  with  my  man  James,  I  was 
thinking  of  what  was  best  to  do.  My  man  had  ordered  that 
all  things  should  be  ready  for  my  entertainment,  and  I  found 
the  rooms  prepared,  and  the  beds  laid;  and  the  first  thing  I 
did  after  dinner  was  to  go  to  bed,  after  I  had  written  to  my 
Cousin  Tom  at  Hare  Street,  and  sleep  until  the  evening. 

When  I  was  dressed  and  had  had  supper  in  the  coffee- 
house, listening  as  well  as  I  could  to  the  talk,  but  hearing 
nothing  pertinent,  I  went  back  again  to  Drury  Lane,  to  Mr. 
Fenwick's  lodging,  to  lay  the  foundation  of  my  plan.  For  I 
had  determined,  between  sleeping  and  waking,  that  the  best 
thing  to  be  done,  was  to  shew  myself  as  forward  and  friendly 
as  I  could,  so  that  I  might  mix  with  the  Fathers  freely, 
in  the  hope  that  I  might  light  on  something;  and  it  so  fell 
out,  that  although  my  small  adventures  that  evening  had  no 
use  in  them  in  the  event,  yet  they  were  strangely  relevant  to 
what  took  place  afterwards. 

The  first  small  adventure  was  as  follows: 

I  was  walking  swiftly  up  Drury  Lane,  scanning  the  houses, 
for  it  was  falling  dark,  and  the  oil-lights  that  burned,  one 
before  every  tenth  house,  cast  but  a  poor  illumination,  when 
just  beyond  one  of  the  lights  I  knocked  against  a  fellow  who 
was  coming  out  suddenly  from  a  little  passage  at  the  side, 
just,  as  it  chanced,  opposite  to  Mr.  Fenwick's  house.  I 
turned,  to  beg  his  pardon,  for  it  was  more  my  fault  than  his, 
that  we  had  come  together;  and  I  set  my  eyes  upon  the  most 
strange  and  villainous  face  that  I  have  ever  seen.  The  fel- 
low was  dressed  in  a  dark  suit,  and  wore  a  crowned  hat,  and 


70  ODDSFISH! 

carried  a  club  in  his  hand,  and  he  appeared  to  be  one  of  the 
vagrom-men  as  they  are  called,  who  are  at  the  bottom  oJ 
all  riots  and  such  like  things.  He  was  a  smallish  man  in 
his  height,  but  his  face  was  the  strangest  thing  about  him 
and  in  the  light  from  the  lamp  I  thought  at  first  that  he 
had  some  kind  of  deformity  in  it.  For  his  mouth  was,  as 
it  were  in  the  very  midst  of  his  face;  there  was  a  little  fore- 
head above,  with  eyes  set  close  beneath  it,  and  a  little  nose 
and  then  his  mouth,  turned  up  at  the  corners  as  if  he  smiled 
and  beneath  that  a  vast  chin,  as  large  as  the  rest  of  his  face 

He  cried  out  "  Lard !  "  as  I  ran  against  him ;  by  which  ] 
understood  him  to  say  "  Lord !  " 

I  asked  his  pardon. 

"  O  Lard !  "  he  said  again,  "  'tis  nothing,  sir.     My  apolo 
gies  to  you,  sir." 

I  bowed  to  him  civilly  again,  and  passed  on;  but  as  1 
knocked  upon  Mr.  Fenwick's  door,  I  saw  that  he  was  staring 
after  me,  from  the  entrance  to  that  same  passage  from  whic 
he  had  come. 


My  second  adventure  was  that,  upon  coming  upstairs,  I 
found  that  in  the  chamber  with  Mr.  Fenwick  were  the 
mother  and  sister  of  Mr.  Ireland,  waiting  for  him  to  come 
and  take  them  back  to  their  lodging.  They  were  quiet  folks 
enough — a  little  shy,  it  appeared  to  me,  of  strange  company. 
But  I  did  my  best  to  be  civil,  and  they  grew  more  talkative. 
Mrs.  Ireland  would  be  near  sixty  years  old,  I  would  take  it, 
dressed  in  a  brown  sac,  such  as  had  been  fashionable  ten 
years  back,  and  her  daughter,  I  should  think  about  thirty 
years  old.  They  told  me  that  they  had  been  to  supper,  and 
to  the  play  in  the  Duke's  Playhouse,  where  Mr.  Shirley's 
tragi-comedy  The  Young  Admiral  had  been  done;  and  that 
Mr.  Ireland  was  to  come  for  them  here,  as  presently  he  did 
for  it  was  scarce  safe  for  ladies  to  be  abroad  at  such  an  hou 
in  the  streets  without  an  escort,  so  wild  were  the  pranks 
played  (and  worse  than  pranks),  by  even  the  King's  gentle 
men  themselves,  as  well  as  by  the  riff-raff. 

We  sat  and  talked  a  good  while;  and  Mr.  Grove  brough 


ODDSFISH!  71 

chocolate  up  for  the  ladies.  But  for  myself,  I  had  such  a 
variety  of  thoughts,  as  I  talked  with  them  all,  knowing  what 
I  did,  and  they  knowing  nothing,  that  I  could  scarce  com- 
mand my  voice  and  manner  sometimes.  For  here  were  these 
innocent  folk — with  Mr.  Grove  smiling  upon  them  with  the 
chocolate — talking  of  the  play  and  what-not,  and  of  which 
of  the  actors  pleased  them  and  which  did  not — and  I  noticed 
that  the  ladies,  as  always,  were  very  severe  upon  the  women 
—and  the  good  fathers,  too,  pleased  that  they  were  pleased, 
and  rallying  them  upon  their  gaiety — (for  it  appeared  that 
these  ladies  did  not  go  often  into  company) ;  and  here  sat  I, 
with  my  secret  upon  my  heart,  knowing — or  guessing  at 
least — that  a  plot  was  afoot  to  ruin  them  all  and  turn  their 
merriment  into  mourning. 

But  I  think  that  I  acquitted  myself  pretty  well;  and  that 
none  guessed  that  anything  was  amiss  with  me;  for  I  spoke 
of  the  plays  I  had  seen  in  Rome,  before  that  I  was  a  novice, 
and  of  the  singers  that  I  heard  there;  and  I  listened,  too,  to 
their  own  speeches,  gathering  this  and  that,  of  what  they  did 
and  where  they  went,  if  by  chance  I  might  gather  something 
to  their  own  advantage  thereafter. 

It  was  pretty  to  see,  too,  how  courteous  and  gallant  Mr. 
Ireland  was  with  his  mother  and  sister;  and  how  he  put  their 
cloaks  about  them  at  the  door,  and  feigned  that  he  was  a  con- 
stable to  carry  them  off  to  prison — (at  which  my  heart 
failed  me  again) — for  frequenting  the  company  of  suspected 
persons ;  and  how  he  gave  an  arm  to  each  of  them,  as  they  set 
off  into  the  dark. 

That*  night  too,  as  I  lay  abed,  I  thought  much  of  all  this 
again.  I  had  established  a  great  friendliness  with  the  Fa- 
thers by  now,  telling  them  I  was  come  up  again  to  London,  as 
Air.  Whitbread  had  recommended  me,  until  the  Court  should 
go  again  to  Windsor,  and  that  perhaps  I  should  go  with  it 
thither.  They  had  told  me  at  that,  that  one  of  their  Fathers 
was  there,  named  Mr.  Bedingfeld  (who  was  of  the  Oxburgh 
family,  I  think),  and  that  he  was  confessor  to  the  Duke  of 
York,  and  that  they  would  recommend  me  to  him  if  I  should 


72  ODDSFISH! 

go.  But  all  through  my  anxiety  I  comforted  myself  with  the 
assurance  the  King  had  given  to  me,  that,  whatever  else 
might  ensue,  not  a  hair  of  their  heads  should  be  touched' 
for  I  had  great  confidence  in  His  Majesty's  word,  given  sc 
solemnly. 


CHAPTER    VI 

Now  begins  in  earnest  that  chapter  of  horrors  that  will  be 
with  me  till  I  die;  and  the  learning  of  that  lesson  that  I  might 
have  learned  long  before  from  one  that  was  himself  a  Prince, 
and  knew  what  he  was  talking  of — I  mean  King  David,  who 
bids  us  in  his  psalm  to  "  put  no  trust  in  princes  nor  in  any 
child  of  man." 

For  several  days  all  passed  peacefully  enough.  I  waited 
upon  Mr.  Chiffinch,  and  asked  whether  the  King  had  spoken 
of  me  again,  and  was  told  he  had  not;  so  I  went  about  my 
business,  which  was  to  haunt  the  taverns  and  to  frequent  the 
company  of  the  Jesuits. 

I  made  an  acquaintance  or  two  in  the  taverns  at  this  time, 
which  served  me  later,  though  not  in  the  particular  manner 
that  I  had  wished;  but  for  the  most  part  matters  seemed  quiet 
enough.  Men  did  not  speak  a  great  deal  of  the  Catholics; 
and  I  always  fenced  off  questions  by  beginning,  in  every 
company  that  I  found  myself  in,  by  speaking  of  some  Church 
of  England  divine  with  a  great  deal  of  admiration,  soon  earn- 
ing for  myself,  I  fear,  the  name  of  a  pious  and  grave  fellow, 
but  at  the  same  time,  of  a  safe  man  in  matters  of  Church  and 
State. 

One  of  these  acquaintances  was  a  Mr.  Rumbald,  a  maltster 
(which  was  all  I  thought  him  then),  who  frequented  the 
Mitre  tavern,  without  Aldgate,  where  I  went  one  day. 
dressed  in  one  of  my  sober  country  suits,  wearing  my  hat  at  a 
somewhat  rakish  cock,  that  I  might  seem  to  be  a  simple  fellow 
that  aped  town-ways. 

The  tavern  was  full  when  I  came  to  it,  and  called  for  din- 
ner; but  I  made  such  a  to-do  that  the  maid  went  to  an  inner 
room,  and  presently  returning,  told  me  I  might  have  my 
dinner  there.  It  was  a  little  parlour  she  shewed  me  to,  with 
old  steel  caps  upon  the  wall,  and  strewed  rushes  under  foot; 
and  there  were  three  or  four  men  there  who  had  just  done 
dinner,  all  but  one.  This  one  was  a  ruddy  man,  with  red 

73 


74  ODDSFISH! 

hair  going  grey,  dressed  very  plain,  but  well,  with  a  hard 
kind  of  look  about  him;  and  he  had  had  as  much  to  drink 
as  a  man  should  have,  and  was  in  the  merry  stage  of  his 
drink.  Here,  thought  I,  is  the  very  man  for  me.  He  is  of 
both  country  and  town;  here  is  a  chamber  of  which  he  seems 
lord — for  he  ordered  the  maid  about  royally,  and  cursed  her 
once  or  twice — and  it  is  a  chamber  apart  from  the  rest.  So 
I  thought  this  a  very  proper  place  to  hear  some  talk  in,  and 
a  very  proper  fellow  to  hear  it  from.  For  a  while  I  thought 
he  had  something  of  the  look  of  an  old  soldier  about  him;  but 
then  I  thought  no  more  of  it. 

When  the  others  were  gone  out,  and  there  was  a  little 
delay,  I  too — (God  forgive  me!) — cursed  the  poor  maid  for 
a  slut  once  or  twice,  and  bade  her  make  haste  with  my  din- 
ner; and  my  manner  had  its  effect,  for  the  fellow  warmed  to 
me  presently  and  told  me  that  he  was  Mr.  Rumbald,  and  I 
said  on  my  part  that  my  name  was  Mallock;  and  we  shook 
hands  upon  it,  for  that  was  the  mood  of  the  ale  that  was  in 
him.  (But  he  had  other  moods,  too,  I  learned  later,  when 
he  was  very  repentant  for  his  drink.) 

I  began  then,  to  speak  of  Hare  Street,  and  said  that  I 
lodged  there  sometimes;  and  then  began  to  speak  of  the 
parson  there,  and  of  what  a  Churchman  he  was. 

"Of  Hare  Street,  eh?"  said  he.  "Why  I  am  not  far 
from  there  myself.  I  am  of  Hoddesdon,  or  near  to  it. 
Where  have  you  lodged  in  Hare  Street,  and  what  is  your  busi- 
ness ?  " 

I  was  in  a  quandary  at  that,  for  it  seemed  to  me  then 
(though  it  was  not  in  reality),  a  piece  of  bad  fortune  that  he 
should  come  from  thereabouts. 

"  I  am  Jack-of-all-trades,"  I  said.  "  I  did  some  garden 
work  there  for  Mr.  Jermyn,  the  Papist." 

"  The  Papist,  eh  ?  "  cried  Mr.  Rumbald. 

"  I  would  work  for  the  Devil,"  said  I,  "  if  he  would  pay 
me  enough." 

The  words  appeared  to  Mr.  Rumbald  very  witty,  though 
God  knows  why:  I  suppose  it  was  the  ale  in  him:  for  he 
laughed  aloud  and  beat  on  his  leg. 


ODDSFISH!  75 

"  I'll  be  bound  you  would,"  he  said. 

And  it  was  these  words  of  mine  which  (under  God's  Provi- 
dence, as  I  think  now)  established  my  reputation  with  Mr. 
Rumbald  as  a  dare-devil  kind  of  fellow  that  would  do  any- 
thing for  money.  He  began,  too,  at  that  (which  pleased  me 
better  at  the  time),  to  speak  of  precisely  those  matters  of 
which  I  wished  to  hear.  It  was  not  treasonable  talk,  for  the 
ale  had  not  driven  all  the  sense  out  of  him ;  but  it  was  as  near 
treasonable  as  might  be;  and  it  was  above  all  against  the 
Catholics  that  he  raged.  I  would  not  defile  this  page  by 
writing  down  all  that  he  said;  but  neither  Her  Majesty  nor 
the  Duke  of  York  escaped  his  venom;  there  appeared  nothing 
too  bad  to  be  said  of  them;  and  he  spoke  of  other  names,  too, 
of  the  Duchess  of  Portsmouth  whom  he  called  by  vile  names 
(yet  not  viler  than  she  had  rightfully  earned)  and  the 
Duchess  of  Cleveland;  and  he  began  upon  the  King,  but 
stopped  himself. 

"But  you  are  a  Church  of  England  man?"  he  said. 
"  Well,  so  am  I  now,  at  least  I  call  myself  so,  though  I  should 
be  a  Presbyterian;  but "  And  he  stopped  again. 

Now  all  this  was  mighty  interesting  to  me;  for  it  was 
worse  than  anything  I  had  heard  before;  and  yet  he  said  it 
all  as  if  it  was  common  talk  among  his  kind,  where  he  came 
from;  and  it  was  very  consonant  with  what  the  King  had  set 
me  to  do,  which  was  to  hear  what  the  common  people  had  to 
say.  My  gorge  rose  at  the  man  again  and  again;  but  I  was 
a  tolerable  actor  in  those  days,  and  restrained  myself  very 
well.  When  he  went  at  last  he  clapped  me  on  the  back,  as 
if  it  were  I  who  had  done  all  the  bragging. 

"  You  are  the  right  kind  of  fellow,"  he  said,  "  and,  by 
God,  I  wish  there  were  more  of  us.  You  will  remember  my 
name — Mr.  Rumbald  the  maltster — I  am  to  be  heard  of  here 
at  any  time,  for  I  come  up  on  my  business  every  week — 
though  I  was  not  always  a  maltster." 

I  promised  I  would  remember  him:  and  indeed  after  a 
while  all  England  has  remembered  him  ever  since. 

It  was  that  same  evening,  I  think   (for  my  diary  is  con- 


76  ODDSFISH! 

fused  at  this  time,  and  no  wonder),  that  when  I  came  back  to 
my  lodgings  about  supper-time,  I  found  that  a  man  had 
been  from  Mr.  Chiffinch  to  bid  me  come  to  Whitehall  as  soon 
as  I  returned;  but  the  messenger  had  not  seemed  greatly  per- 
turbed, James  told  me;  so  I  changed  my  clothes  and  had 
my  supper  and  set  out. 

It  would  be  about  half-past  seven  o'clock  when  I  came  to 
Mr.  Chiffinch's;  and  when  I  tapped  I  had  no  answer.  I 
tapped  again;  and  then  a  servant  of  Mr.  Chiffinch's  came 
running  up  the  stairs  (who  had  left  his  post,  I  suspect)  and 
asked  me  what  I  wanted  there.  When  I  told  him  he  seemed 
surprised,  and  he  said  that  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  company  in 
his  inner  closet;  but  that  he  would  speak  with  him.  So  he 
left  me  standing  there;  and  went  through,  and  I  heard  a  door 
shut  within.  Presently  he  came  out  again  in  something  of 
a  hurry,  and  bade  me  come  in;  and,  to  my  astonishment  we 
went  through  the  first  room  that  was  empty,  and  out  again 
beyond  and  down  a  dark  passage.  I  heard  voices  as  I  went, 
talking  rapidly  somewhere,  but  there  was  no  one  to  be  seen. 
Then  he  knocked  softly  upon  a  door  at  the  end  of  the  pas- 
sage; a  voice  cried  to  us  to  come  in;  and  I  entered;  and,  to 
my  astonishment,  not  only  was  the  little  closet  half  full  of 
persons,  but  these  persons  were  somewhat  exceptional. 

At  the  end  of  the  table  that  was  opposite  me,  sat  His 
Majesty,  tilting  his  chair  back  a  little  as  if  he  were  weary  of 
the  talk;  but  his  face  was  flushed  as  if  with  anger.  Upon 
his  right  sat  the  Duke,  with  his  periwig  pushed  a  little  back, 
and  his  face  more  flushed  even  than  the  King's.  Opposite 
to  the  Duke  sat  two  men,  whom  I  took  to  be  priests  by  their 
faces — one  fair,  the  other  dark — (and  I  presently  proved  to 
be  right) — and  beside  him  Mr.  Chiffinch,  very  eager-looking, 
and  lean,  talking  at  a  great  speed,  with  his  hands  clasped 
upon  the  table.  Finally,  my  Lord  Danby  sat  next  to  the 
Duke,  opposite  to  Mr.  Chiffinch,  with  a  sullen  look  upon  his 
face.  There  was  a  great  heap  of  papers,  again,  upon  the 
table,  between  the  five  men.  All  these  persons  turned  theii 
eyes  upon  me  as  I  came  in  and  bowed  low  to  the  company: 
and  then  Mr.  Chiffinch  jerked  back  a  chair  that  was  besid( 


ODDSFISH!  77 

him,  and  beckoned  to  me  to  sit  down  in  it.  The  room  ap- 
peared to  me  a  secret  kind  of  place,  with  curtains  pulled 
across  the  windows,  where  a  man  might  be  very  private  if  he 
wished.  Mr.  Chiffinch  ended  speaking  as  I  came  in,  and  all 
sat  silent. 

His  Majesty  broke  the  silence. 

"  You  are  very  late,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said — no  more  than 
that;  but  I  felt  the  reproof  very  keenly.  "Tell  him,  Chif- 
finch." 

Then  Mr.  Chiffinch  related  to  me  an  extraordinary  story; 
and  he  told  it  very  well,  balancing  the  two  sides  of  it,  so  that 
I  could  not  tell  what  he  thought. 

It  appeared  that  a  day  or  two  ago,  Doctor  Tonge  had  come 
to  my  Lord  Danby,  in  pursuance  of  the  tale  he  had  told 
before,  saying  that  he  had  received  further  information,  from 
the  very  man  whom  he  had  suspected,  and  now  had  certified, 
to  be  the  writer  of  the  first  information  under  forty-three 
heads,  to  the  effect  that  a  packet  of  letters  was  on  its  way  to 
Windsor,  to  that  very  Mr.  Bedingfeld  (of  whom  Mr.  Whit- 
bread  had  spoken  to  me),  on  the  matter  of  the  plot  to  murder 
the  King,  and  the  Duke  too  unless  he  would  consent  to  the 
affair.  My  Lord  Danby  posted  immediately  to  Windsor  that 
he  might  intercept  these  letters  and  examine  them  for  him- 
self; but  found  that  not  only  had  Mr.  Bedingfeld  received 
them,  but  had  taken  them  to  the  Duke,  saying  that  he  did 
not  understand  one  word  that  was  written  in  them.  Those 
letters  purported  to  have  been  written  from  a  number  of 
Jesuits,  and  others — amongst  whom  were  a  Mr.  Coleman, 
an  agent  of  the  Duke's,  and  Mr.  Langhorn,  a  lawyer;  and 
related  to  a  supposed  plot,  not  only  to  murder  the  King,  and 
his  brother,  too,  perhaps,  but  to  re-establish  the  Popish 
domination,  to  burn  Westminster,  as  they  had  already  burned 
the  City;  and  that  the  new  positions  in  the  State  had  already 
been  designed  to  certain  persons,  whose  names  were  all  men- 
tioned in  the  letters,  by  the  Holy  Father  himself.  The 
matter  that  was  now  being  discussed  in  this  little  chamber 
was,  What  was  best  to  be  done? 

Mr.   Chiffinch  told  me  this,  as   shortly   almost  as   I   have 


78  ODDSFISH! 

written  it  down,  glancing  at  His  Majesty  once  or  twice, 
at  the  Duke,  as  if  he  wished  to  know  whether  he  were  telling 
it  properly;  and  as  soon  as  he  ended  His  Majesty  began: 

"  That  is  where  we  stand  now,  Mr.  Mallock.     As  for  mt 
I  do  not  believe  one  word  of  the  tale,  as  I  have  said  before 
and  I  say  that  it  is  best  to  destroy  the  letters,  to  tell  Doctoi 
Tonge  that  he  is  a  damned  fool,  if  not  worse,  so  to  be  cozenec 
and  to  say  no  more  of  it.     I  would  not  have  this  made  public 
for  a  thousand  pounds.     It  is  as  I  said  before:  I  knew  thai 
the  matter  would  grow." 

"And  I  say,  Sir,"  put  in  the  Duke  savagely,  "that  Your 
Majesty  forgets  who  it  is  who  are  implicated — that  it  is  these 
good  Jesuit  Fathers,  and  my  own  confessor,  too  " — (he  bowed 
slightly  to  the  fair  man,  who  returned  it) — "  and  that  if 
the  matter  be  not  probed  to  the  bottom,  the  names  of  all 
will  suffer,  in  the  long  run." 

"  Brother,  brother,"  said  Charles,  "  I  entreat  you  not  to 
speak  so  violently.  We  all  know  how  good  the  Fathers  are, 
and  do  not  suspect  any  one  of  them.  It  is  to  save  their 
name " 

"  And  I  tell  you,"  burst  in  James  again,  "  that  mine  is 
the  only  way  to  do  it!  Do  you  think,  Sir,  that  these  folks 
who  are  behind  it  all  will  let  the  matter  rest?  It  will  grow 
and  grow,  as  Your  Majesty  said;  and  we  shall  have  half  the 
kingdom  involved." 

Here  was  a  very  pretty  dispute,  with  sense  on  both  sides, 
and  yet  there  appeared  to  me  that  there  was  more  on  His 
Majesty's  than  on  the  other.  If  even  then  Dr.  Tonge  had 
been  sent  for  and  soundly  rated,  and  made  to  produce  his 
informant,  and  the  matter  sifted,  I  believe  we  should  have 
heard  no  more  of  it.  But  it  was  not  ordained  so.  They  all 
spoke  a  good  deal,  appealing  to  the  two  priests — Mr.  Beding- 
feld  and  Mr.  Young — and  they  both  gave  their  opinions. 

Presently  Charles  was  silent;  letting  his  chair  come  for- 
ward again  on  to  its  four  legs,  and  putting  his  head  in  his 
hands  over  the  table.  I  had  never  seen  him  so  perturbed 
before.  Then  I  ventured  on  a  question. 

"  Sir,  may  I  ask  who  is  Doctor  Tonge's  informant?  " 


ODDSFISH!  79 

His  Majesty  glanced  up  at  me  as  if  he  saw  me  for  the  first 
time. 

"  Tell  him,  Chiffinch,"  he  said. 

"  His  name  is  Doctor  Gates/'  said  the  page.  "  He  was  a 
Papist  once,  and  is  turned  informer,  he  says.  He  still  feigns 
secretly  to  be  friends  with  one  or  two  of  the  Jesuits,  he  says." 

"  But  every  word  you  hear  here  is  sub  sigillo,  Mr.  Mallock," 
added  the  King. 

I  knew  no  such  name ;  and  said  no  more.  I  had  never  heard 
of  the  man. 

"Have  you  anything  to  say,  Mr.  Mallock?"  asked  the 
King  presently. 

"  I  have  some  reports  to  hand  in,  Sir/'  I  said,  "  but  they 
do  not  bear  directly  upon  this  matter." 

The  King  lifted  his  heavy  eyes  and  let  them  fall  again.  He 
appeared  weary  and  dispirited. 

When  we  broke  up  at  last,  nothing  was  decided.  On  the 
one  hand  the  letters  were  not  destroyed,  and  the  Duke  was 
still  unforbidden  to  pursue  his  researches;  and,  on  the  other 
there  was  no  permission  for  a  public  inquiry  to  be  held. 
The  counsels,  in  short,  were  divided ;  and  that  is,  the  worst 
state  of  all.  The  Duke  said  nothing  to  me,  either  at  the 
table  or  before  he  went  out  with  Mr.  Bedingfeld — or  Mr. 
Mumford  as  he  was  usually  called:  he  appeared  to  consider 
me  too  young  to  be  of  any  importance,  and  to  tolerate  me  only 
because  the  King  wished  it.  I  handed  to  Mr.  Chiffinch  the 
reports  of  what  folks  had  said  to  me  in  taverns  and  else- 
where: and  went  away. 

The  days  went  by;  and  nothing  of  any  importance  ap- 
peared further.  I  still  frequented  the  company  of  the  Jesuit 
Fathers,  and  the  taverns  as  before;  but  no  more  was  heard, 
until  a  few  days  before  the  end  of  September.  On  that  day 
I  was  passing  through  the  Court  of  Whitehall  to  see  if  there 
were  anything  for  me  at  Mr.  Chiffinch' s — for  the  King  was 
at  Windsor  again — when  I  saw  Father  Whitbread  and  Father 
Ireland,  coming  swiftly  out  from  the  way  that  led  to  the 
Duke's  lodgings — for  he  stayed  here  a  good  deal  during  these 


80  ODDSFISH! 

days.  They  were  talking  together,  and  did  not  see  me  till  I 
was  close  upon  them.  When  I  greeted  them,  they  stopped  all 
of  a  sudden. 

"  The  very  man !  "  said  Mr.  Whitbread. 

Then  he  asked  me  whether  I  would  come  with  them  to  the 
lodgings  of  Mr.  Fenwick,  for  they  had  something  to  say  to 
me;  and  I  went  with  them  very  willingly,  for  it  appeared  to 
me  that  perhaps  they  had  heard  of  the  matter  which  I  had 
found  so  hard  to  keep  from  them.  We  said  nothing  at  all 
on  the  way;  and  when  we  got  within,  Mr.  Whitbread  told 
Mr.  Grove  to  stand  at  the  foot  of  the  stairs  that  no  one 
might  come  up  without  his  knowledge.  They  bolted  the 
door  also,  when  we  were  within  the  chamber.  Then  we  all 
sat  down. 

"  Now,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  Father  Whitbread,  "  we  know 
all  that  you  know;  and  why  you  have  been  with  us  so  much; 
and  we  thank  you  for  your  trouble." 

I  said  nothing;  but  I  bowed  to  them  a  little.  But  I  knew 
that  I  had  been  of  little  service  as  yet. 

"  It  is  all  out,"  said  the  priest,  "  or  will  be  in  a  day  or 
two.  Mr.  Gates  hath  been  to  Sir  Edmund  Berry  Godfrey, 
the  Westminster  magistrate,  with  the  whole  of  his  pretended 
information — his  forty-three  heads  to  which  he  hath  added 
now  thirty-eight  more,  and  he  will  be  had  before  the  Council 
to-morrow.  Sir  Edmund  hath  told  Mr.  Coleman  his  friend, 
and  the  Duke's  agent,  all  that  hath  been  sworn  to  before 
him;  Mr.  Coleman  hath  told  the  Duke,  and  hath  fled  from 
town  to-night;  and  the  Duke  has  prevailed  with  the  King  to 
have  the  whole  affair  before  the  Council.  I  think  that  His 
Majesty's  way  with  it  would  have  been  the  better;  but  it  is 
too  late  for  that  now.  Now  the  matter  must  all  come  out; 
and  Sir  Edmund  hath  said  sufficient  to  shew  us  that  it  will 
largely  turn  upon  a  consult  that  our  Fathers  held  here  in 
London,  last  April,  at  the  White  Horse  Tavern;  for  Gates 
hath  mingled  truth  and  falsehood  in  a  very  ingenious  fashion. 
He  was  at  St.  Omer's,  you  know,  as  a  student;  and  was  ex- 
pelled for  an  unspeakable  crime,  as  he  was  expelled  from  our 
other  college  at  Valladolid  also,  for  the  same  cause:  so  he 


ODDSFISH!  81 

knows  a  good  deal  of  our  ways.  He  feigns,  too,  to  be  a 
Doctor  of  Divinity  in  Salamanca  University;  but  that  is  an- 
other of  his  lies,  as  I  know  for  a  truth.  What  we  wish  to 
know,  however,  is  how  he  knows  so  much  of  our  movements 
during  these  last  months;  for  not  one  of  us  has  seen  him. 
You  have  been  to  and  fro  to  our  lodgings  a  great  deal,  Mr. 
Mallock.  Have  you  ever  seen,  hanging  about  the  streets 
outside  any  of  them,  a  fellow  with  a  deformed  kind  of  face — 
so  that  his  mouth " 

And  at  that  I  broke  in :  for  I  had  never  forgotten  the  man's 
face,  against  whom  I  had  knocked  one  night  in  Drury  Lane. 

"  I  have  seen  the  very  man/'  I  cried.  "  He  is  of  middle 
stature;  with  a  little  forehead  and  nose  and  a  great  chin." 

"  That  is  the  man,"  said  Mr.  Whitbread.  "  When  did  you 
see  him?  " 

I  told  them  that  it  was  on  the  night  that  I  found  Mrs. 
Ireland  and  her  daughter  come  from  the  play. 

"  He  was  standing  in  the  mouth  of  the  passage  opposite," 
I  said,  "  and  watched  me  as  I  went  in." 

"  He  will  have  been  watching  many  nights,  I  think,"  said 
Mr.  Whitbread,  "  here,  and  in  Duke  Street,  and  at  my  own 
lodgings  too." 

I  asked  what  he  would  do  that  for,  if  he  had  his  tale  al- 
ready. 

"  That  he  may  have  more  truth  to  stir  up  with  his  lies," 
said  Mr.  Whitbread.  "  He  will  say  who  he  has  seen  go 
in  and  out;  and  we  shall  not  be  able  to  deny  it." 

He  said  this  very  quietly,  without  any  sign  of  perturbation; 
and  Mr.  Ireland  was  the  same.  They  seemed  a  little  thought- 
ful only. 

"  But  no  harm  can  come  to  you,"  I  cried.  "  His  Majesty 
hath  promised  it." 

"  Yes :  His  Maj  esty  hath  promised  it,"  said  Mr.  Whit- 
bread in  such  a  manner  that  my  heart  turned  cold;  but  I 
said  no  more  on  the  point. 

"  Now,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  the  priest,  "  we  must  consider 
what  is  best  to  be  done.  When  the  case  comes  on,  as  it 
surely  will,  the  question  for  us  is  what  you  must  do.  I 


82  ODDSFISH! 

doubt  not  that  you  could  give  evidence  that  you  have  found 
us  harmless  folk" — (he  smiled  as  he  said  this) — "but. I  do 
not  know  that  you  will  be  able  to  add  much  to  what  other 
of  our  witnesses  will  be  able  to  say.  I  am  not  at  all  sure  but 
that  it  may  not  be  best  for  you  to  keep  away  from  the  case 
at  first  at  any  rate.  You  have  the  King's  ear,  which  is  worth 
more  to  us  than  any  testimony  you  could  give." 

"  Why  do  you  not  fly  the  country?  "  I  cried. 

He  smiled  again. 

"  Because  that/'  he  said,  "  would  be  as  much  as  to  say 
that  we  were  guilty;  and  so  the  whole  Society  would  be 
thought  guilty,  and  the  Church  too.  No,  Mr.  Mallock,  we 
must  see  the  matter  out,  and  trust  to  what  justice  we  can  get. 
But  I  do  not  think  we  shall  get  a  great  deal." 

So  it  was  decided  then,  that  I  would  not  give  testimony 
unless  there  was  some  call  for  it;  and  I  took  my  leave,  mar- 
velling at  the  constancy  of  these  men,  who  preferred  to  im- 
peril life  itself,  sooner  than  reputation. 

Well ;  all  went  forward  as  Mr.  Whitbread  had  said  it  would. 
On  the  twenty-eighth  day  of  September  Dr.  Gates  appeared 
before  the  Council  to  give  his  testimony;  and  it  was  to  the 
same  effect  as  was  that  which  I  had  heard  Mr.  Chiffinch  re- 
late before,  as  to  the  Jesuit  plot  to  murder  the  King,  and  if 
need  be,  the  Duke  too,  and  to  establish  Catholic  domination 
in  England. 

I  went  into  a  gallery  in  the  Council  room  for  a  little,  to 
confirm  with  my  own  eyes  whether  it  were  Dr.  Titus  Gates 
himself  against  whom  I  had  knocked  in  Drury  Lane;  and 
it  was  the  man  without  doubt,  though  he  looked  very  different 
in  his  minister's  dress.  It  was  not  a  very  great  room,  and 
only  those  were  admitted  who  had  permission.  His  Majesty 
himself  was  there  upon  the  second  day;  and  sat  in  the  midst 
of  the  table,  at  the  upper  end,  with  the  Duke  beside  him, 
and  the  great  officers  round  about;  amongst  whom  I  marked 
my  Lord  Shaftesbury,  who  I  was  beginning  to  think  knew 
more  of  the  plot  than  had  appeared;  Dr.  Gates  stood  in  a 
little  pew  at  one  side,  so  that  when  he  turned  to  speak  I 


ODDSFISH!  83 

could  see  his  face.  Dr.  Tonge  and  Mr.  Kirby  and  others 
sat  on  a  seat  behind  him. 

He  was  dressed  as  a  minister — for  he  had  been  one,  before 
his  pretended  reconciliation  to  the  Catholic  Church — in  gown 
and  bands  and  wore  a  great  periwig;  and  not  his  face  only — 
which  no  man  could  forget  who  had  once  set  eyes  on  it — but 
the  strange  accent  with  which  he  spoke,  confirmed  me  that  it 
was  the  man  I  had  seen. 

My  Lord  Danby,  I  think  it  was,  questioned  him  a  good 
deal,  as  well  as  others:  and  he  repeated  the  same  tale  with 
great  fluency,  with  many  gibes  and  aphorisms  such  as  that 
the  Jesuits  had  laid  a  wager  that  if  Carolus  Rex  would  not 
become  R.  C. — which  is  Roman  Catholic — he  should  not  much 
longer  remain  C.  R.  He  said  too  that  he  had  been  recon- 
ciled to  the  Church  on  Ash  Wednesday  of  last  year;  but  that 
"  he  took  God  and  His  holy  angels  to  witness  that  he  had 
never  changed  the  religion  in  his  heart,"  but  that  it  was  all  a 
pretence  to  spy  out  Papistical  plots. 

His  Royal  Highness  broke  out,  when  he  had  done,  declaring 
the  whole  matter  a  bundle  of  lies;  and  when  one  or  two 
asked  Gates  for  any  writings  or  letters  that  he  had — since 
he  had  been  so  long  amongst  the  Jesuits,  and  was  so  much 
trusted  by  them — he  said  that  he  had  none;  but  could  get 
them  easily  enough  if  warrants  and  officers  were  given  him. 
I  suppose  the  truth  was  that  he  had  not  wit  enough  to  write 
them  as  yet,  but  had  thought  the  Windsor  letters  (as  I  may 
call  them)  would  be  enough.  (These  questions  had  also 
been  put  to  him  on  the  day  before,  but  were  repeated  now  for 
the  King's  benefit.) 

His  Majesty  himself,  I  think,  proved  the  shrewdest  ex- 
aminer of  them  all. 

"  You  said  that  you  met  Don  Juan,  the  Spaniard,  in  your 
travels,  Doctor  Gates.  Pray,  what  is  he  like  in  face  and 
figure?" 

"  My  Lard — Your  Majesty,"  said  Gates,  "  he  is  a  tall  black 
thin  faylow,  with  swatthy  features  " — (for  so  he  pronounced 
his  words.) 

"Eh?"  asked  the  King. 


84  ODDSFISH! 

Dr.  Dates  repeated  his  words;  and  the  King  turned,  nod- 
ding and  smiling,  to  His  Royal  Highness;  for  the  Spanish 
bastard  is  far  more  Austrian  than  Spanish,  and  is  fair  and 
fat  and  of  small  stature. 

"Excellent,  Doctor  Gates/'  said  the  King.  "And  now 
there  is  another  small  matter.  You  told  these  gentlemen 
yesterday  that  you  saw — with  your  own  eyes — the  bribe  of  ten 
thousand  pound  paid  down  by  the  French  King's  confessor. 
Pray,  where  was  this  money  paid  ?  " 

"  In  the  Jesuits'  house  in  Paris,  your  Majesty/'  said  the 
man. 

"  And  where  is  that?  " 

"  That — Your  Majesty — that  house  is — is  near  the  King's 
own  house."  (But  he  spoke  hesitatingly.) 

Then  the  King  broke  out  in  indignation;  and  beat  his  hand 
on  the  table. 

"  Man !  "  he  cried.  "  The  Jesuits  have  no  house  within 
one  mile  of  the  Louvre !  " 

It  pleased  me  to  hear  the  King  say  that;  for  I  was  a  little 
uneasy  at  Father  Whitbread's  manner  when  he  had  spoken  of 
the  King's  promise ;  but  I  was  less  pleased  a  day  or  two  after- 
wards to  hear  that  His  Majesty  was  gone  to  Newmarket, 
to  the  races,  and  had  left  the  Council  to  do  as  best  it  could; 
and  that  the  Jesuits  had  been  taken  that  same  night — Michael- 
mas eve — after  Gates  had  been  had  before  the  Council. 
There  had  been  a  great  to-do  at  the  taking  of  Father  Whit- 
bread,  for  the  Spanish  soldiers  had  been  called  out  to  save 
the  Ambassador's  house,  so  great  was  the  mob  that  went  to  see 
him  taken. 

The  next  public  event  in  the  whole  affair  was  the  last  and 
worst  of  all  the  links  that  were  being  forged  so  swiftly:  and 
the  news  of  it  came  to  me  as  follows. 

I  had  gone  to  sup  in  Aldgate,  where  I  had  listened  to  a 
good  deal  of  talk  from  some  small  gentry,  as  to  the  Papist 
plot;  and  had  been  happy  to  hear  three  or  four  of  them  de- 
clare that  they  believed  there  was  nothing  in  it,  and  even  the 
rest  of  them  were  far  from  positive  on  the  matter;  and  I 


ODDSFISH!  85 

had  stayed  late  over  my  pipe  with  them,  so  that  it  was  long 
after  my  usual  time  when  I  returned  towards  my  lodgings, 
walking  alone,  for  I  said  good-bye  to  the  last  of  my  com- 
panions in  the  City. 

As  I  came  up  into  the  Strand,  I  saw  before  me  what  ap- 
peared to  be  the  tail  of  a  great  concourse  of  people,  and  heard 
the  murmur  of  their  voices;  and,  mending  my  pace  a  little, 
I  soon  came  up  with  them.  I  went  along  for  a  little,  trying 
to  hear  what  they  were  saying  upon  the  affair,  and  to  learn 
what  the  matter  was;  for  by  now  the  street  was  one  pack 
of  folk  all  moving  together.  Little  by  little,  then,  I  began 
to  hear  that  someone  had  been  strangled,  and  that  "he  was 
found  with  his  neck  broken,"  and  then  that  "  his  own  sword 
was  run  through  his  heart,"  and  words  of  that  kind. 

Now  I  had  heard  talk  before  that  Sir  Edmund  Berry  God- 
frey was  run  away  with  a  woman,  and  to  avoid  the  payment 
of  his  debts,  which,  if  it  were  true,  were  certainly  a  very 
strange  happening  at  such  a  time,  since  he  was  the  magistrate 
before  whom  Gates  had  laid  his  information;  but  six  days 
were  gone  by,  and  I  had  not  thought  very  much  of  it,  for 
his  running  away  could  not  now  in  any  way  affect  the  infor- 
mation that  had  been  laid.  He  was  a  very  gentle  man,  though 
melancholy;  and,  though  a  good  Protestant,  troubled  no  man 
that  was  of  another  religion  than  himself — neither  Papist  nor 
Independent. 

But  when  I  heard  the  people  about  me  speaking  in  this 
manner,  the  name  of  Sir  Edmund  came  to  my  mind;  and  I 
asked  a  fellow  that  was  tramping  near  me,  who  it  was  that 
was  strangled  and  where  the  body  was.  But  he  turned  on 
me  with  such  a  burst  of  oaths,  that  I  thought  it  best  to  draw 
no  more  attention  to  myself,  and  presently  slipped  away. 
Then  I  thought  myself  of  a  little  rising  ground,  a  good  bit 
in  advance,  whence,  perhaps  I  might  be  able  to  see  something 
of  what  was  passing;  and  I  made  my  way  across  the  street, 
to  a  lane  that  led  round  on  the  north.  As  I  came  across,  in 
the  fringes  of  the  crowd,  I  saw  a  minister  walking,  in  his 
cassock;  so  I  saluted  him  courteously,  and  asked  what  the 
matter  was. 


86  ODDSFISH! 

He  looked  at  me  with  an  agitated  face,  and  said  nothing: 
his  lips  worked,  and  he  was  very  pale,  yet  it  seemed  to  me 
with  anger:  so  I  asked  him  again;  and  this  time  he  answered. 

"  Sir,  I  do  not  know  who  you  are,"  he  said.  "  But  it  is 
Sir  Edmund  Berry  Godfrey  who  has  been  foully  murdered 
by  the  Papists.  He  hath  been  found  on  Primrose  Hill,  and 
we  are  taking  him  to  his  house.  I  do  not  know,  sir " 

But  I  was  gone;  and  up  the  lane  as  fast  as  I  could  run. 
All  that  I  had  heard,  all  that  I  had  feared,  all  even  that 
I  had  dreamed,  was  being  fulfilled.  The  links  were  forging 
swiftly.  I  do  not  know,  even  now  as  I  write,  how  it  was 
that  Sir  Edmund  met  his  end,  whether  he  had  killed  himself, 
as  I  think — for  he  was  of  a  melancholiac  disposition,  as  was 
his  father  and  his  grandfather  before  him — or  whether,  as 
indeed  I  think  possible,  he  was  murdered  by  the  very  man  who 
swore  so  many  Catholic  lives  away,  by  way  of  giving  colour 
to  his  own  designs — for  if  a  man  will  swear  away  twenty  lives, 
what  should  hinder  him  from  taking  one?  One  thing  only 
I  know,  that  no  Catholic,  whether  old  or  young,  Jesuit  or 
not,  saint  or  sinner,  had  any  act  or  part  in  it;  and  on  that 
I  would  lay  down  my  own  life. 

By  the  time  that  I  arrived  at  the  rising  mound — for  a  force 
mightier  than  prudence  drove  me  to  see  the  end — the  head 
of  the  great  concourse  was  beginning  to  arrive.  Across  the 
street  from  side  to  side  stretched  the  company,  all  tramping 
together  and  murmuring  like  the  sound  of  the  sea.  It  was 
as  if  all  London  town  was  gone  mad:  for  I  do  not  believe 
there  were  above  twenty  men  in  that  great  mob,  who  were 
not  persuaded  that  here  was  the  corroboration  of  all  that  had 
been  said  upon  the  matter  of  the  plot;  and  that  the  guilt  of 
the  Papists  was  made  plain.  Some  roared,  as  they  came, 
threats  and  curses  upon  the  Pope,  the  Jesuits,  and  every 
Catholic  that  drew  breath;  but  the  most  part  marched  si- 
lently, and  more  terribly,  as  it  appeared  to  me.  The  street 
was  becoming  as  light  as  day,  for  torches  were  being  kindled 
as  they  came;  and,  at  the  last,  came  the  great  coach,  swaying 
upon  its  swings,  in  which  the  body  was  borne. 


ODDSFISH!  87 

I  craned  my  head  this  way  and  that  to  see ;  and,  as  the  coach 
passed  beneath  me,  I  saw  into  its  interior,  and  how  there  lay 
there,  supported  by  two  men,  the  figure  of  another  man  whose 
face  was  covered  with  a  white  cloth. 


CHAPTER    VII 

IT  would  occupy  too  much  space,  were  I  to  set  down  in  detail 
all  that  passed  between  the  finding  of  Sir  Edmund  Berry 
Godfrey's  body,  and  the  being  brought  to  trial  of  the  Jesuit 
Fathers.  But  a  brief  summary  must  be  given. 

The  funeral  of  Sir  Edmund  was  held  three  or  four  days 
later  in  St.  Martin's,  and  the  sermon  was  preached  by  Dr. 
Lloyd,  his  friend,  who  spoke  from  a  pulpit  guarded  by  two 
other  thumping  divines,  lest  he  should  be  murdered  by  the 
Papists  as  he  did  it.  There  was  a  concourse  of  people  that 
cannot  be  imagined;  and  seventy-two  ministers  walked  in 
canonicals  at  the  head  of  the  procession.  Dr.  Lloyd  spoke 
of  the  dead  man  as  a  martyr  to  the  Protestant  religion. 

By  the  strangest  stroke  of  ill-fortune  Parliament  met  ten 
days  before  the  funeral,  which  happened  on  the  thirty-first 
of  October;  so  that  the  excitement  of  the  people — greatly  in- 
creased by  the  exhibition  of  the  dead  body  of  Sir  Godfrey — 
was  ratified  by  their  rulers — I  say  their  rulers,  since  His 
Majesty,  it  appeared,  could  do  nothing  to  stem  the  tide.  It 
was  my  Lord  Danby  who  opened  the  matter  in  the  House  of 
Peers  that  he  might  get  what  popularity  he  could  to  protect 
him  against  the  disgrace  that  he  foresaw  would  come  upon 
him  presently  for  the  French  business ;  and  every  violent  word 
that  he  spoke  was  applauded  to  the  echo.  The  House  of  Com- 
mons took  up  the  cry;  a  solemn  fast  was  appointed  for  the 
appeasing  of  God  Almighty's  wrath;  guards  were  set  in  all 
the  streets,  and  chains  drawn  across  them,  to  prevent  any 
sudden  rising  of  the  Papists;  and  all  Catholic  householders 
were  bidden  to  withdraw  ten  miles  from  London.  (This  I  did 
not  comply  with;  for  I  was  no  householder.)  Besides  all 
this,  both  men  and  women  went  armed  continually — the  men 
with  the  "  Protestants'  flails,"  and  ladies  with  little  pistols 
hidden  in  their  muffs.  Workmen,  too,  were  set  to  search  and 
dig  everywhere  for  "  Tewkesbury  mustard-balls,"  as  they 

88 


ODDSFISH!  89 

were  called — or  fire-balls,  with  which  it  was  thought  that  the 
Catholics  would  set  London  a-fire,  as  Gates  had  said  they 
would — or  vast  treasures  which  the  Jesuits  were  thought  to 
have  buried  in  the  Savoy  and  other  places.  Folks  took  alarm 
at  the  leastest  matters;  once  my  Lord  Treasurer  himself  rode 
into  London  crying  that  the  French  army  was  already 
landed,  when  all  that  he  had  seen  were  some  horses  in  the 
mist;  once  it  was  thought,  from  the  noise  of  digging  that 
some  fat-head  heard,  that  the  Papists  were  mining  to  blow 
up  Westminster.  The  King,  whom  I  dared  not  go  to  see 
in  all  this  uproar,  and  who  did  not  send  for  me,  went  to 
and  fro  even  in  Whitehall,  guarded  everywhere — in  private, 
as  I  heard,  pouring  scorn  upon  the  plot,  yet  in  public  con- 
cealing his  opinion;  and  upon  the  ninth  of  November  he  made 
a  speech  in  the  House  of  Lords,  confirming  all  my  fears, 
thanking  his  subjects  for  their  devotion,  and  urging  them 
to  deal  effectually  with  the  Popish  recusants  that  were  such 
a  danger  to  the  kingdom!  In  October,  too,  five  Catholic 
Lords — the  Earl  of  Powis,  Viscount  Stafford,  my  Lord  Petre, 
my  Lord  Arundell  of  Wardour,  and  my  Lord  Bellasis  were 
committed  to  the  Tower  on  a  charge  of  treason. 

I  saw  Dr.  Gates  more  than  once  during  these  days,  coming 
out  of  Whitehall  with  the  guards  that  were  given  to  protect 
him,  carrying  himself  very  high,  in  his  minister's  dress;  and 
no  wonder,  for  the  man  was  the  darling  of  the  nation  and 
was  called  its  "  Saviour,"  and  had  had  a  great  pension  voted 
to  him  of  twelve  hundred  pounds  a  year.  He  did  not  think 
then,  I  warrant,  of  the  day  when  he  would  be  whipped  from. 
Newgate  to  Tyburn  at  a  cart's  tail;  and  again,  laid  upon  a 
sled  and  whipped  again  through  the  City,  for  that  he  could 
not  stand  by  reason  of  his  first  punishment.  Another  fellow 
too  had  come  forward,  named  Bedloe,  once  a  stable-boy  to  my 
Lord  Bellasis,  who  had  given  himself  up  at  Bristol,  with  "  in- 
formation," as  he  called  it,  as  to  Sir  Edmund's  murder,  which 
he  said  had  been  done  in  Somerset  House  itself,  by  the  priests 
and  others,  saying  that  the  wax  that  was  found  upon  the  dead 
man's  breeches  came  from  the  candles  of  the  altar  that  the 
priests  had  held  over  him  while  they  did  it!  Presently  too^ 


90  ODDSFISH! 

at  the  trial  and  even  before  it,  Bedloe  made  his  evidence  to 
concur  with  Gates',  though  at  the  first  there  was  no  sign  of  it. 
Even  before  the  trial,  however,  the  audacity  of  the  two  villains 
waxed  so  great,  as  even  to  seek  to  embroil  Her  Majesty  her- 
self in  the  matter,  and  to  make  her  privy  to  the  whole  plot; 
and  this  Gates  did,  at  the  bar  of  the  House  of  Commons.  But 
the  King  was  so  wrath  at  this,  that  little  more  was  heard 
of  it. 

The  Duke  of  York,  during  these  proceedings,  saved  him- 
self very  well.  When  the  Bill  for  the  disabling  of  Papists 
from  the  holding  of  office  or  of  sitting  in  either  House  of  Par- 
liament, had  passed  through  the  Commons,  he  made  a  speech 
upon  it  in  the  House  of  Lords,  speaking  so  well  that  others 
as  well  as  he  were  moved  to  tears  by  it.  He  said  that  his 
religion  should  be  a  matter  between  his  soul  and  God  only; 
and  should  never  affect  his  public  conduct;  and  this  with 
so  much  weight  that  the  decision  was  given  in  his  favour, 
since  he  was  the  King's  brother.  I  should  never  have  thought 
that  he  could  have  done  so  well. 

Mr.  Coleman  was  the  first  to  be  brought  to  trial,  at  the 
beginning  of  December,  for  he  came  back  and  gave  himself 
up  the  day  after  he  had  at  first  fled.  He  was  already  pre- 
judged; for  so  violent  was  the  feeling  against  the  Papists 
that  my  Lord  Lucas  said  in  the  House  of  Lords  that  if  he 
could  have  his  way,  he  "  would  not  have  even  a  Popish  cat 
to  mew  and  purr  about  the  King."  Coleman,  I  say,  was  the 
first  of  those  who  had  before  been  accused;  but  a  Mr.  Stay- 
ley,  a  Catholic  banker  (who  had  his  house  not  far  from  me  in 
Covent  Garden),  was  even  before  him  judged  and  executed, 
on  account  of  some  words  that  a  lying  Scotsman  had  said 
had  heard  him  use  in  the  tavern  in  the  same  place. 

I  did  not  go  to  the  trial  of  Mr.  Coleman;  for  that 
nothing  to  say  for  him;  and  indeed  Mr.  Coleman's  own  let- 
ters— written  three  or  four  years  ago — were  the  severest  wit- 
nesses against  him,  in  which  he  had  written  to  Father 
Chaise — (whom  Gates  at  first  called  Father  Le  Shee) — th< 
French  King's  confessor,  and  others,  that  if  he  could  lay  hands 
on  a  good  sum  of  money,  he  could  accomplish  a  great  proji 


icutea, 
aid  he 

I  had 


ODDSFISH!  91 

he  had  for  the  restoration  of  the  Catholic  religion  in  England. 
(These  letters  were  found  in  a  drawer  he  had  forgotten, 
when  he  had  burned  all  the  rest;  and  proved  very  unfortu- 
nate for  him.)  He  meant  by  this,  I  have  no  doubt,  the  brib- 
ing of  many  Parliament-men  to  win  toleration,  and  to  get  His 
Royal  Highness  restored  as  Lord  High  Admiral.  He  said 
this  was  his  meaning;  and  I  see  no  reason  to  doubt  it,  for  he 
was  a  pragmatical  kind  of  man,  full  of  great  affairs;  but 
Chief  Justice  Scroggs  waved  it  all  away;  and  it  was  made  to 
appear  exactly  consonant  with  all  that  Gates  and  Bedloe 
had  said  as  to  the  project  of  killing  the  King.  So  great  was 
the  excitement,  not  of  the  common  people  only,  but  of  those 
who  should  have  known  better,  and  so  shrewd  were  these 
who  took  advantage  of  it,  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury,  who 
was  waxing  very  hot  upon  the  supposed  Plot,  for  his  own 
ends,  was  heard  to  say  that  any  man  that  threw  doubt  on 
the  plot  must  be  treated  as  an  enemy.  Mr.  Coleman  was 
executed  at  Tyburn  on  the  third  day  of  December. 

The  trial  of  Father  Ireland,  Mr.  Grove  and  Mr.  Pickering 
— who  was  a  Benedictine  lay-brother — was  opened  on  the 
seventeenth  day  of  December,  in  the  Sessions  House  at  Justice 
Hall  in  the  Old  Bailey. 

I  was  in  the  Court  early,  before  the  trial  began,  carrying  a 
letter  with  me  which  Mr.  Chiffinch  got  for  me  from  my  Lord 
Peterborough,  that  I  might  have  a  good  place;  and  I  had  a 
very  good  one;  for  it  was  in  a  little  gallery  that  looked  down 
into  the  well  of  the  court,  so  that  I  could  see  all  that  I 
wished,  and  the  faces  of  all  the  prisoners,  judges  and  wit- 
nesses, and  yet  by  leaning  back  could  avoid  observation — for 
I  had  no  wish,  for  others'  sake,  if  not  for  my  own,  to  be 
recognized  by  any  of  the  witnesses.  The  seats  for  my  Lords 
were  on  the  left,  under  a  state,  with  their  desks  before  them; 
the  place  for  the  prisoners  on  the  right,  facing  the  judges; 
and  for  the  witnesses  opposite  to  me.  The  jury  was  be- 
neath; and  the  counsels  in  front  of  them  with  their  backs  to 
me. 

When  the  Court  was  full  to  bursting,  my  Lords  came  in, 


92  ODDSFISH! 

with  the  Chief  Justice — that  is  Sir  William  Scroggs — in  the 
midst.  I  had  never  seen  him  before,  though  I  knew  how  hot 
he  was  against  Catholics,  and  I  looked  to  see  what  he  was 
like.  It  was  a  dark  morning,  and  the  candles  were  lighted  on 
my  Lords'  desks;  and  I  could  see  his  face  pretty  well  in  their 
light.  He  was  in  scarlet,  and  wore  his  great  wig;  and  he 
talked  behind  his  hand,  with  what  seemed  a  great  deal  of 
merriment  to  Mr.  Justice  Bertue,  who  sat  on  one  side  of  him, 
and  the  Recorder  Jeffreys  who  sat  upon  the  other.  He  had 
very  heavy  brows;  his  face  was  clean-shaven,  and  his  mouth 
was  like  a  trap  when  he  shut  it,  and  looked  grave,  as  he  did 
so  soon  as  the  clerk  had  done  his  formalities.  He  was  a 
strong  man,  I  thought,  who  would  brook  no  opposition,  and 
would  have  his  way — as  indeed  he  did;  and  the  rest  of  my 
Lords  had  little  or  no  say  in  the  proceedings ;  and  least  of  all 
had  the  jury,  except  to  do  what  the  Lord  Chief  Justice  bid 
them. 

The  three  prisoners — for  Mr.  Whitbread  and  Mr.  Fenwick 
were  presently  withdrawn  to  be  tried  later,  since  they  could 
not  get  two  false  witnesses  against  them  at  that  time — were 
Mr.  Ireland,  Mr.  Grove  and  Mr.  Pickering,  and  I  looked  upon 
them  with  infinite  compassion,  to  see  how  they  would  bear 
themselves.  Mr.  Pickering  I  had  never  seen  before;  so  I 
could  not  tell  whether  or  no  he  bore  himself  as  usual.  But 
the  two  others  I  had  seen  again  and  again;  yet,  with  respect 
to  them  both  I  remembered  principally  that  occasion  when  Mr. 
Ireland  had  entertained  his  mother  and  sister  in  Mr.  Fenwick's 
lodging  on  that  one  night  he  was  in  town,  and  gone  off  with 
them  into  the  dark  so  merrily;  and  Mr.  Grove  had  brought 
up  the  chocolate  in  white  cups,  and  we  had  all  been  merry  to- 
gether. Now  they  stood  here  in  the  dock  together,  and  an- 
swered to  their  names  cheerfully  and  courageously;  and  I 
could  see  that  neither  anguish  of  heart  nor  the  fear  of  death 
had  availed  to  change  their  countenances  in  the  leastest  de- 
gree. They  stood  there,  scarcely  moving,  except  once  or 
twice  to  whisper  to  one  another,  while  Dr.  Gates  told  his 
lying  tale. 

It   was    now    for    the    first   time    that    I    understood    how 


ODDSFISH!  93 

shrewdly,  and  yet  how  clumsily  now  and  then,  the  man  had 
weaved  together  his  information.  He  spoke  with  an  abund- 
ance of  detail  that  astonished  me;  he  spoke  of  names  and 
places  with  the  greatest  precision;  he  related  how  himself  had 
been  sent  from  St.  Omer's  with  fifty  pounds  promised  him, 
to  kill  Dr.  Tonge  who  had  lately  translated  a  book  from  the 
French  named  "  The  Jesuits'  Morals  " ;  he  spoke  of  a  chapel 
in  Mrs.  Sanders'  house,  at  Wild-House,  where  he  had  been 
present,  he  said,  at  a  piece  of  conspiring;  and  so  forth  con- 
tinually, interlarding  his  tale  with  bursts  of  adjuration  and 
piety  and  indignation,  so  evidently  feigned — though  with 
something  of  the  Puritan  manner  in  it — that  I  marvelled  that 
any  man  could  be  deceived  who  did  not  wish  to  be; 
and  all  with  his  vile  accent.  He  spoke  much  also,  as  Mr. 
Whitbread  had  told  me  that  he  would,  of  the  consult  of  the 
Fathers — of  all  that  is,  who  had  the  jus  suffragii  in  England 
—that  had  been  held  at  the  White  Horse  Tavern  in  the 
Strand,  in  April;  pretending  that  at  this  the  murder  of  the 
King  was  again  decided  upon,  and  designed  too,  in  all  par- 
ticulai's;  how  Mr.  Pickering  and  Mr.  Grove  had  been  deputed 
to  do  the  killing  in  St.  James'  Park  with  screwed  pistols,  as 
His  Majesty  walked  there,  or  if  not  there,  at  Newmarket  or 
Windsor ;  and  how  commissions  had  been  given  to  various  per- 
sons (whom  he  named),  which  they  were  to  hold  in  the  army 
that  was  to  be  raised,  when  His  Majesty  had  been  murdered, 
and  the  French  King  Louis  let  in  with  his  troops.  Worst  of 
all,  however,  was  the  assertion  which  he  made  again  and  again 
that  no  Catholic's  oath,  even  in  Court,  could  be  taken  to  be 
worth  anything,  since  the  Pope  gave  them  all  dispensations 
to  swear  falsely;  for  such  an  assertion  as  this  deprives  an  ac- 
cused man  of  all  favour  with  the  jury  and  destroys  the  testi- 
monies of  all  Catholic  witnesses.  And,  what  amazed  me  most 
of  all  was  that  Chief  Justice  Scroggs  supported  him  in  this, 
and  repeated  it  to  the  jury  again  and  again.  He  said  so  first 
|  to  Mr.  Whitbread,  before  he  was  withdrawn. 

"If  you  have  a  religion,"  he  said,  "  that  can  give  a  dis- 
ipensation  for  oaths,  sacraments,  protestations  and  falsehoods, 
how  can  you  expect  that  we  should  believe  you  ?  " 


94  ODDSFISH! 

"  I  know  no  such  thing/'  said  Mr.  Whitbread  very  tran- 
quilly. 

Bedloe,  too,  told  the  same  tale  as  he  had  told  before,  but 
with  many  embellishments;  and  was  treated  by  my  Lords 
with  as  much  respect,  very  nearly,  as  Gates  himself;  and 
they  were  both  given  refreshment  by  the  Chief  Justice's 
order. 

I  could  have  found  it  in  my  heart  to  kill  that  man — Gates, 
I  mean — as  he  stood  there  in  his  gown  and  bands  and  periwig, 
with  his  guards  behind  him,  swearing  away  those  good  men's 
lives;  now  standing  upright,  now  leaning  on  the  rail  before 
him,  and  now  reposing  himself  on  a  stool  that  was  brought 
for  him.  His  monstrous  countenance  was  as  the  face  of  a 
devil;  he  feigned  now  to  weep,  now  to  be  merry.  But  most 
of  all  I  hated  the  man,  when  the  piteous  sight  was  seen  of 
the  entrance  of  Mrs.  Ireland  and  her  daughter,  who  came  to 
testify  that  Mr.  Ireland  was  not  in  London  at  all  on  those 
days  in  August  when  Gates  had  sworn  that  he  had  spoken 
with  him  there.  They  stood  there,  as  gallant  women  as 
might  be,  turning  their  eyes  now  and  again  upon  the  priest 
who  was  all  the  world  to  them  by  ties  both  of  nature  and 
grace;  but  all  their  testimony  went  for  nothing,  since,  first 
my  Lord  had  told  the  jury  that  a  Catholic's  oath  was  worth 
nothing,  and  next  the  prisoners  had  had  no  opportunity  to 
know  what  charges  precisely  they  were  that  were  to  be  brought 
against  them,  and  had  had  therefore  no  time  to  get  their  wit- 
nesses together.  They  complained  very  sharply  of  this;  but 
my  Lord  puffed  it  all  away,  and  would  scarcely  allow  them  to 
finish  one  sentence  without  interruption. 

Mr.  Ireland  said  upon  one  occasion  that  though  he  had  no 
witnesses,  for  he  had  had  no  time  to  get  them,  yet  he  could  get 
witnesses  that  there  were  witnesses. 

"  I  know,"  said  the  Chief  Justice,  "  what  your  way  of  argu- 
ing is;  that  is  very  pretty.  You  have  witnesses  that  can 
prove  you  have  witnesses,  and  those  witnesses  can  prove 
that  you  have  more  witnesses,  and  so  in  infinitum.  And  thus 
you  argue  in  everything  you  do." 


ODDSFISH!  95 

It  was   growing  dark  when  the   evidence    (for   so   it  was 

called)   was  done;  and  the  end  was  drawing  near;  and  the 

i  candles  which  had  been  put  out  long  ago  were  lighted  again 

1  by  an  usher,  who  came  in  with  a  taper  when  the  Lord  Chief 

Justice  called  for  lights.     But  the  candles  burned  very  badly, 

by  reason  of  the  closeness  of  the  Court  in  which  so  many 

persons  had  been  gathered  for  so  long;  and  shed  but  a  poor 

illumination.     My  eyes  were  weary  too  with  staring  upon  the 

people — now  upon  the  monstrous  face  of  Gates,  that  was  like 

a  nightmare  for  terror,  now  upon  the  prisoners   so  patient 

in  the  dock,   and  now  upon  my  Lords   on  their  high   seats 

beneath  the  state,  and  especially  upon  that  hard  and  bitter 

!  face  of  Chief  Justice  Scroggs  who,  if  ever  a  man  murdered 

innocent   folk,  was   murdering  to-day  the  three   men   before 

him,  by  the  direction  which  he  gave  to  the  jury,  and  the  man- 

[  ner  he  conducted  the  case.     I  could,  by  now,  see  the  faces 

I  only  one  by  one,  as  each  leant  into  the  light  of  the  candles; 

-  and  it  appeared  to  me,  again  and  again,  that  these  were  mock- 
|  ing  demons  and  not  men,  and  Gates  the  lord  of  them  all  and 
'  of  hell  itself  from  which  they  all  came,  and  to  which  they 
j.  must  return.     I  closed  my  eyes  sometimes,  both  to  rest  them, 
S  and  that  I  might  pray  for  bare  justice  to  be  done;  but  my 
f  prayers  were  to  me  like  the  lifting  of  weights  too  great  for 

my  strength.     One  hope  only  remained  to  me,  and  that  lay 

•  in  His  Majesty;  for,  although  he  had  permitted  the  deaths  of 
i  Coleman  and  of  Stayley,  these  might  indeed  have  appeared 

guilty  to  one  who  knew  nothing  of  them;  but  I   could  not 
find  it  in  my  heart  to  believe  that  he  would  suffer  these  Jesuits 

^  to  die,  of  whom  he  had  sworn  to  me  that  not  a  hair  of  their 

.  heads  should  be  injured.  I  had  determined,  too,  to  go  to  His 
Majesty,  so  soon  as  the  trial  was  done,  and  the  verdict  given 
as  I  knew  it  would  be,  and  hear  from  his  own  lips  that  he 

\  would  keep  his  word,  at  whatever  cost  to  himself. 

It  was  dark  then,  by  the  time  that  all  the  evidence  had 

i  been  given,  and  the  Chief  Justice  had  done  his  directing  of 
the  jury.  The  Court,  crowded  though  it  was  with  the  peo- 

J  pie,  was  as  still  as  death,  so  soon  as  the  jury  came  back  after 
a  very  short  recess.  I  could  hear  only  the  breathing  of  the 


96  ODDSFISH! 

folks  on  all  hands.  A  woman  sat  beside  me,  who  had  been 
as  early  as  myself  that  morning;  but  she  had  roared  and 
clapped  with  the  rest,,  at  the  earlier  stages,  when  the  Chief 
Justice  had  silenced  the  prisoners  or  thrown  doubt  upon 
what  they  said.  She  was  quiet  now,  however,  and  I  won- 
dered how  the  evidence  had  affected  her. 

When  the  jury  were  ready  to  give  their  verdict,  the  talk- 
ing that  had  broken  out  a  little,  grew  silent  again;  but  when 
the  verdict  of  Guilty  was  given,  it  broke  out  once  more  into  a 
storm  of  shouting;  so  that  the  rafters  rang  with  it.  The 
woman  beside  me — for  I  sat  at  the  end  of  a  bench  and  hac 
nothing  but  the  wall  beyond  me — appeared  to  awaken  at  the 
tumult  and  join  her  voice  to  it,  beating  with  her  hand  at  the 
edge  of  the  gallery  in  front  of  her.  As  for  me  I  looked  at 
the  prisoners.  They  were  all  upright  in  their  places,  Mr. 
Ireland  in  the  midst  of  the  three;  and  were  as  still  as  if 
nothing  were  the  matter.  They  were  looking  at  the  Lord 
Chief  Justice,  at  whom  I  too  turned  my  eyes,  and  saw  he  was 
grinning  and  talking  behind  his  hand  to  the  Recorder.  It 
was  a  very  travesty  of  justice  that  I  was  looking  at,  and  no 
true  trial  at  all.  There  were  a  thousand  points  of  dissonance 
that  I  had  remarked  myself — as  to  how  it  was,  for  instance, 
that  one  fellow  had  been  promised  twenty  guineas  for  killing 
the  King  and  another  fifteen  hundred  pounds;  as  to  how  it 
was  that  Gates,  who  professed  himself  so  loyal,  had  permitted 
four  ruffians  to  go  to  Windsor  (as  he  said),  with  intent  to 
murder  the  King,  and  that  he  had  said  nothing  of  it  at  the 
time.  But  all  was  passed  over  in  this  lust  for  the  Jesuits' 
blood. 

I  knew  that  my  Lord  would  make  a  great  speech  on  the 
affair,  before  he  would  make  an  end  and  give  sentence;  for 
this  was  a  great  opportunity  for  him  to  curry  favour  not  only 
with  the  people,  but  with  men  like  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  who 
was  behind  him  in  all  the  matter;  and  as  I  had  no  wish  to 
hear  what  he  would  have  to  say  (for  I  knew  it  all  by  heart 
already)  and,  still  less  to  hear  the  terrible  words  of  the  sen- 
tence for  High  Treason  passed  upon  these  three  good  men  in 
the  dock,  I  rose  up  quietly  from  my  place,  and  slipped  out 


ODDSFISH!  97 

of  the  door  by  which  I  had  come  in.  As  I  was  about  to 
close  the  door  behind  me  I  heard  silence  made,  and  my  Lord 
Justice  Scroggs  beginning  his  speech — and  these  were  the 
words  which  first  he  addressed  to  the  jury. 

"  Gentlemen,"  he  said,  "  you  have  done  like  very  good 
subjects  and  very  good  Christians;  that  is  to  say  like  very 
good  Protestants;  and  now  much  good  may  their  thirty  thou- 
sand masses  do  them !  "  When  he  said  this,  he  was  referring 
to  a  piece  of  Dr.  Gates'  lying  evidence  as  to  a  part  of  the 
reward  that  they  should  get  for  killing  the  King.  But  I 
closed  the  door ;  for  I  could  bear  to  hear  no  more.  But  after- 
wards I  heard  that  they  then  adjourned  for  an  hour  or  two, 
and  that  it  was  the  Recorder — Sir  George  Jeffreys — that 
gave  sentence. 

When  I  presented  myself,  half  an  hour  later,  at  Mr. 
Chiffinch's  lodgings,  I  had  very  nearly  persuaded  myself  that 
all  would  yet  be  well.  For  I  thought  it  impossible  that  any 
man  to  whom  the  report  of  the  trial  should  be  brought,  could 
ever  think  that  justice  had  been  done;  least  of  all  the  King 
who  is  the  fount  of  it,  under  God.  I  knew  very  well  that 
His  Majesty  would  have  to  bear  the  brunt  of  some  unpopu- 
larity if  he  refused  to  sign  the  warrants  for  their  death;  but 
he  appeared  to  me  to  care  not  very  much  for  popularity — 
since  he  outraged  it  often  enough  in  worse  ways  than  in  main- 
taining the  right.  He  had  said  to  me,  too,  so  expressly  that 
,  no  harm  should  come  to  the  Fathers  or  to  Mr.  Grove  and  Mr. 
Pickering  either;  and  he  had  said  so,  I  was  informed,  even 
more  forcibly  to  the  Duke  and  those  that  were  with  him — • 
saying  that  his  right  hand  should  rot  off  if  ever  he  took  the 
pen  into  his  hand  for  such  a  purpose.  I  remembered  these 
things,  even  while  the  plaudits  of  the  crowd  still  rang  in  my 
ears,  and  the  bitter  cruelty  of  my  Lord  Chief  Justice's  words 
to  the  jury.  His  Majesty,  I  said  to  myself,  is  above  all  these 
lesser  folk,  and  will  see  that  no  wrong  is  done.  And,  besides 
all  this,  he  is  half  a  Catholic  himself  and  he  knows  against 
what  kind  of  men  these  charges  have  been  made. 

I  was  pretty  reassured  then,  when  I  knocked  upon  the  door 


98  ODDSFISH! 

of  Mr.  Chiffinch's  lodgings,  and  told  the  man  who  opened  t( 
me  that  I  must  see  his  master. 

He  took  me  through  immediately  into  the  little  passage 
had  been  in  before,  and  himself  tapped  upon  the  door  o 
the  inner  parlour;  then  he  opened  it,  and  let  me  through 
for  Mr.  Chiffinch  was  accustomed  by  now  to  receive  me  a 
any  hour. 

He  rose  civilly  enough,  and  asked  me  what  I  wished  wit! 
him,  so  soon  as  the  door  was  shut. 

"The  verdict  is  given,"  I  said.  "I  must  see  His 
Majesty." 

He  screwed  up  his  lips  in  a  way  he  had. 

"  It  is  Guilty,  I  suppose,"  he  said. 

I  told  him  Yes; 

"  And  I  have  never  seen,"  I  said,  "  such  a  travesty  of  jus 
tice." 

He  looked  down  upon  the  table,  considering,  drumming 
his  fingers  upon  it. 

"That  is  as  may  be,"  he  said.  "But  as  for  His  Maj- 
esty  " 

I  broke  out  on  him  at  that:  for  I  was  fiercely  excited. 

"  Man/'  I  cried,  "  there  is  no  question  about  that.  I  must 
see  His  Majesty  instantly." 

He  looked  at  me  again,  as  if  considering. 

"  Well,"  he  said.  "  What  must  be,  must.  I  will  see  His 
Majesty.  He  is  not  yet  gone  to  supper." 

At  the  door  he  turned  again. 

"The  verdict  was  Guilty?"  he  said.  "You  were  there 
and  heard  it?  " 

I  told  him  Yes;  for  I  was  all  impatient. 

"And  how  was  that  verdict  received  in  court?" 

"  It  was  applauded,"  I  said  shortly. 

He  still  waited  an  instant.     Then  he  went  out. 

I  was  all  in  a  fever  till  he  came  back;  for  his  manner  and 
his  hesitation  had  renewed  my  terrors.  Yet  still  I  would 
not  let  myself  doubt.  I  went  up  and  down  the  room,  and 
looked  at  the  pictures  in  it.  There  was  a  little  one  by  Lely, 


ODDSFISH!  99 

not  finished,  of  my  Lady  Castlemaine,  done  before  she  was 
made  Duchess,  which  I  suppose  the  King  had  given  to  him; 
but  I  remembered  afterwards  nothing  else  that  I  saw  at 
that  time. 

In  about  half  an  hour  he  came  back  again;  but  he  shut  the 
door  behind  him  before  he  spoke. 

"  His  Majesty  will  see  you  in  a  few  minutes,"  he  said, 
"  but  he  goes  to  supper  presently ;  and  must  not  be  detained. 
And  there  is  something  else  that  I  must  ask  you  first." 

I  was  all  impatient  to  be  gone;  but  impatience  would  not 
help  me  at  all. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  sitting  down,  "  did  you  see  any 
man  following  you  from  the  Court?  Or  at  the  doors  of  the 
Palace?" 

My  heart  stood  still  when  he  said  that;  for  though  I 
had  done  my  best  at  all  times  for  the  last  month  or  two 
to  pass  unnoticed  so  far  as  I  could,  I  had  known  well  enough 
that  having  been  so  much  with  the  Jesuits  as  I  had,  it  was 
not  impossible  that  I  had  been  marked  by  some  spy  or  other, 
or  even  by  Gates  himself,  since  he  had  seen  me  go  into  Mr. 
Fenwick's  lodgings.  But  I  had  fancied  of  late  that  I  must 
have  escaped  notice,  and  had  been  more  bold  lately,  as  in 
going  to  the  Court  to-day. 

"  Followed  ?  "  I  said.  "  What  do  you  mean,  Mr.  Chif- 
finch?" 

"  You  saw  no  fellow  after  you,  or  loitering  near,  at  the 
gates,  as  you  came  in?  " 

"  I  saw  no  one,"  I  said. 

"  The  gates  were  barred,  as  usual  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  I  said.  "  And  the  guard  fetched  a  lieutenant  be- 
fore he  would  let  me  in." 

(For  ever  since  the  late  alarms  extraordinary  precautions 
had  been  taken  in  keeping  the  great  gates  of  the  Palace  al- 
ways guarded.) 

"  And  you  saw  no  one  after  you  ?  " 

"  No  one,"  I   said. 

"  Well,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch,  "  a  fellow  was  after  you.  For 
when  you  were  gone  in  he  came  up  to  the  guard  and  asked 


100  ODDSFISH! 

who  you  were,  and  by  what  right  you  had  entered.  The 
lieutenant  sent  a  man  to  tell  me  so,  and  I  met  him  in  the  pas- 
sage as  I  went  out." 

"Who  was  the  fellow?" 

"  Oh !  a  man  called  Dangerfield.  The  lieutenant  very  pru- 
dently detained  him;  and  I  went  across  and  questioned  him 
before  I  went  to  His  Majesty.  I  know  nothing  of  the  man, 
except  that  he  hath  been  convicted,  for  I  saw  the  branding 
in  his  hand  when  we  examined  him.  We  let  him  go  again  im- 
mediately." 

"  He  knows  my  name  ?  " 

Mr.  Chiffinch  smiled. 

"  We  are  not  so  foolish  as  that,  Mr.  Mallock.  He  thinks 
you  have  some  place  at  Court;  but  we  did  not  satisfy  him  as 
to  your  name." 

I  said  nothing;  for  there  was  nothing  to  say. 

"  You  had  best  be  very  careful,  Mr.  Mallock,"  went  on  the 
page,  standing  up  again.  "  You  have  been  mixing  a  great 
deal  with  unpopular  folks.  You  will  be  of  no  service  to  His 
Majesty  at  all  if  you  fall  under  suspicion.  You  had  best  go 
back  by  water  to  the  Temple  Stairs." 

He  spoke  a  little  coldly;  and  I  perceived  that  he  thought  I 
had  been  indiscreet. 

"Well,"  he  said,  "we  had  best  be  going  to  His  Majesty's 
lodgings." 

I  had  flattered  myself,  up  to  the  present,  that  I  knew 
His  Majesty's  capacities  tolerably  well.  I  thought  him  to 
be  an  easily  read  man,  with  both  virtues  and  vices  upper- 
most, wearing  his  heart  on  his  sleeve,  as  the  saying  is — in- 
dolent, witty,  lacking  all  self-control — yet  not,  as  I  might  say, 
a  deep  man.  I  was  to  learn  the  truth,  or  rather  begin  to  learn 
it,  on  this  very  night. 

When  I  entered  his  private  closet  he  was  sitting  not  where 
I  had  seen  him  before,  but  at  the  great  table  in  the  midst  of 
the  floor,  with  his  papers  about  him,  and  an  appearance  of 
great  industry.  He  did  not  do  more  than  look  up  for  an 


ODDSFISH!  101 

instant,  and  then  down  again;  and  I  stood  there  before 
him,  after  I  had  bowed  and  been  taken  no  notice  of,  as  it 
were  a  scholar  waiting  to  be  whipped. 

He  was  all  ready  for  supper,  in  his  lace,  with  his  hat  on 
his  head;  and  he  was  writing  a  letter,  with  a  pair  of  candles 
burning  before  him  in  silver  candlesticks.  His  face  wore  a 
very  heavy  and  preoccupied  look;  and  I  was  astonished  that 
he  paid  me  no  attention. 

He  finished  at  last,  threw  sand  on  the  paper  from  the 
pounce-box,  and  pushed  it  aside.  Then  he  leaned  his  cheeks 
in  his  hands,  and  his  elbows  on  the  table,  and  looked  at  me. 
But  he  did  not  speak  unkindly. 

"  Here  you  are  then,"  he  said.  "  And  I  hear  you  bring 
news  from  the  Old  Bailey?" 

"  I  came  from  there  half  an  hour  ago,  Sir." 

"Ah!  And  the  verdict  was  Guilty,  Mr.  Chiffinch  tells 
me?" 

"Yes,  Sir." 

"  How  did  the  people  take  it?  " 

"  They  applauded  a  great  deal,  Sir." 

"  They  applauded,  you  say.  At  the  end  only,  or  all  the 
while  ?  " 

"  They  applauded,  Sir,  whenever  any  of  my  Lords  made  a 
hit  against  the  Catholics." 

"  Were  there  any  who  did  otherwise  ?  " 

"  Not  one,  Sir,  that  I  could  hear." 

"The  Chief  Justice.     What  did  he  say?" 

"  He  made  many  protestations  of  devotion  to  your  Majesty, 
Sir,  and  to  the  Protestant  Religion.  He  beat  down  the 
Catholics  at  every  point.  He  permitted  none  of  their  wit- 
nesses to  speak  freely." 

The  King  was  silent  a  moment.     Then  he  went  on  again. 

"  And  the  prisoners.     How  did  they  bear  themselves  ?  " 

"  They  bore  themselves  like  gallant  gentlemen,  Sir.  They 
fought  every  point,  so  far  as  the  Chief  Justice  would  permit 
them." 

"  Did  they  shew  any  fear  when  the  verdict  was  brought 
in?" 


102  ODDSFISH! 

"  None,  Sir.  They  relied  upon  your  Majesty's  protection, 
no  doubt." 

Again  His  Majesty  was  silent.  I  still  stood  on  the  other 
side  of  the  table  from  him,  waiting  to  say  what  I  had  to  say. 
The  King  shewed  no  sign  of  having  heard  what  I  had  last 
said. 

Then,  to  my  astonishment  he  turned  on  me  again  very 
sharply. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  I  have  a  fault  to  find  with  you. 
Mr.  Chiffinch  tells  me  that  you  were  followed  from  the  Court, 
and  that  a  fellow  was  asking  after  you  at  the  gate.  You 
say  that  you  wish  to  serve  me.  Well,  those  who  serve  me 
must  be  very  discreet  and  very  shrewd.  Plainly,  you  have 
not  been  so  in  this  instance.  You  are  a  very  young  man ;  and 
I  do  not  wish  to  be  severe.  But  you  must  remember,  Mr. 
Mallock,  that  such  a  thing  as  this  must  not  happen  any  more." 

My  mouth  was  gone  suddenly  dry  at  this  attack  of  His 
Majesty  upon  me.  I  licked  my  lips  with  my  tongue  in  readi- 
ness to  answer;  but  before  I  could  speak,  the  King  went  on 
again. 

"  Now  I  had  a  little  business  to  entrust  to  you ;  but  I  am 
not  sure  if  it  be  not  best  to  give  it  to  another  hand." 

He  took  up  from  the  table  before  him  a  newly  sealed  little 
packet  that  I  had  not  noticed  before;  and  sat  weighing  it  in 
his  hand,  as  if  considering,  while  his  eyes  searched  my  face. 

"  Sir "  I  began. 

"  Yes,  Mr.  Mallock,  I  know  what  you  would  say.  That  is 
all  very  well;  but  my  servants  must  not  make  mistakes  such 
as  you  have  made.  It  was  the  height  of  madness  for  you  to 
go  to  the  Court  at  all  to-day.  I  have  no  doubt  that  you  were 
seen  there,  and  followed;  and  you  could  have  been  of  no 
service  to  your  friends  there,  in  any  case.  Mr.  Chiffinch  tells 
me  he  will  provide  a  wherry  for  you  immediately,  that  you 
may  go  back  without  observation.  You  must  do  this.  The 
question  before  my  mind  is  as  to  whether  you  shall  take  this 
packet  with  you,  or  not.  What  do  you  say,  Mr.  Mallock?  " 

All  the  while  he  had  been  speaking,  I  had  been  in  a  tor- 
ment of  misery.  As  yet  I  had  done  little  or  nothing  for  His 


ODDSFISH!  103 

Majesty,  after  all  my  commissioning  from  Rome;  and  now 
that  the  first  piece  of  work  was  on  hand,  it  was  doubtful 
whether  I  had  not  forfeited  it  by  my  clumsiness.  For  the 
moment  I  forgot  what  I  had  come  for.  I  was  all  set  on  ac- 
quitting myself  well.  I  was  but  twenty-one  years  old! 

"  Sir,"  I  cried,  "if  your  Majesty  will  entrust  that  to  me, 
you  shall  never  repent  it." 

He  smiled;  but  his  face  went  back  again  to  its  heaviness. 

"  It  is  a  very  difficult  commission,"  he  said.  "  And,  what 
is  of  more  importance  than  all  else  is  that  the  packet  should 
fall  into  no  hand  other  than  the  one  that  should  have  it.  For 
this  reason,  there  is  no  name  written  upon  it.  But  I  have 
sealed  it  with  a  private  signet  of  my  own,  both  within  and 
without ;  and  you  must  bear  the  packet  with  you  until  you  can 
deliver  it." 

"  I  understand,  Sir." 

"  I  can  send  no  courier  with  it,  for  the  reasons  of  which 
I  have  spoken.  No  man,  Mr.  Mallock,  but  you  and  I  must 
know  of  its  very  existence.  Neither  can  I  tell  you  now  to 
whom  the  packet  must  be  given.  You  must  bear  it  with  you, 
sir,  until  you  have  a  message  from  me,  signed  with  the  same 
seal  as  that  which  it  bears,  telling  you  where  you  must  take  it, 
and  to  whom.  You  understand  ?  " 

"  I  understand,  Sir." 

"  You  must  leave  London  immediately  until  your  face  is 
forgotten,  and  until  this  storm  is  over.  You  have  a  cousin 
in  the  country  ?  " 

"Yes,  Sir;  Mr.  Jermyn  at  Hare  Street." 

"  You  had  best  lie  there  for  the  present;  and  I  can  send 
to  you  there,  so  soon  as  I  have  an  opportunity.  Meanwhile 
you  must  have  this  always  at  hand,  and  be  ready  to  set  out 
with  it,  so  soon  as  you  hear  where  you  must  go  with  it.  That 
is  all  plain,  Mr.  Mallock  ?  " 

"  I  understand,  Sir." 

The  King  rose  abruptly,  pushing  back  his  chair;  and  as  he 
rose  I  heard  the  trumpets  for  supper,  in  the  Court  outside. 

"  Then  you  had  best  be  gone.     Take  it,  Mr.  Mallock." 

I  came  round  and  received  the  packet;  and  I  kissed  the 


104 


ODDSFISH! 


King's  hand  which  he  had  not  given  to  me  as  I  had  come 
My  heart  was  overjoyed  at  the  confidence  which  he  shewc 
me;  and  I  slipped  the  packet  immediately  within  my  waisl 
coat.     It  was  square  and  flat  and  lay  there  easily  in  a  lit 
pocket  which  the  tailor  had  contrived  there.     Then,  as  I  sto( 
up  again,  the  memory  of  what  I  had  come  for  flashed  back 
me  again. 

"  Sir/'  I  said,  "  there  is  one  other  matter." 

His  Majesty  was  already  turning  away;  but  he  stoppc 
and  looked  over  his  shoulder. 

"Eh?"  he  said. 

"  Sir,  it  is  with  regard  to  the  Jesuits  who  were  condemne 
to-day." 

He  jerked  his  hand  impatiently  in  a  way  he  had. 

"  I  have  no  time  for  that,"  he  said,  "  no  time." 

Then  he  was  gone  out  at  the  other  door,  and  I  heard  him 
going  downstairs. 

Now  as  I  came  downstairs  again  the  further  way,  and 
heard  the  trumpets  go,  to  shew  that  the  King  was  come  out, 
I  had  no  suspicion  of  anything  but  my  own  foolishness 
not  speaking  of  what  I  had  come  about.  But,  by  the  tim< 
that  I  was  at  the  Temple  Stairs,  I  wondered  whether  or  m 
the  King  had  not  had  that  very  design,  to  put  me  off  from 
which  I  wished  to  say.  And  at  the  present  time  I  am  certain 
of  it — that  His  Majesty  wished  to  hear  from  me  at  once  of 
the  proceedings  at  the  trial,  and  then  spoke  immediately  oi 
that  other  matter  of  the  packet,  and  of  my  being  followed  to 
the  Palace  Gates,  with  the  express  purpose  of  hindering 
me  from  saying  anything;  for  I  am  sure  that  at  this  tim( 
he  had  not  yet  made  up  his  mind  as  to  what  he  would  d( 
when  the  warrants  were  brought  to  him,  and  did  not  wish 
speak  of  it. 


CHAPTER    VIII 

THE  first  thing  that  I  did  when  I  got  home  was  to  call  for 
my  man  James,  and  bid  him  shut  the  door.  (My  man  was 
about  forty  years  old,  and  he  had  been  got  for  me  in  Rome, 
having  fallen  ill  there  in  the  service  of  my  Lord  Stafford 
— being  himself  a  Catholic,  and  a  very  good  one,  for  he  went 
to  the  sacraments  three  or  four  times  in  the  year,  wherever  he 
was.  He  was  a  clean-shaven  fellow,  and  very  sturdy  and 
quick,  and  a  good  hand  at  cut  and  thrust  and  the  quarter- 
staff,  as  I  had  seen  for  myself  at  Hare  Street  on  the  summer 
evenings.  I  had  found  him  always  discreet  and  silent,  though 
I  had  not  as  yet  given  him  any  great  confidence.) 

"  James,"  I  said  to  him  with  great  solemnity,  "  I  have  some- 
thing to  say  to  you  which  must  go  no  further." 

He  stood  waiting  on  my  word. 

"A  fellow  hath  been  after  me  to-day — named  Dangerfield 
— a  very  brown  man,  with  no  hair  on  his  face  "  (for  so  Mr. 
Chiffinch  had  told  me) .  "  He  hath  been  branded  on  the 
hand  for  some  conviction.  I  tell  you  this  that  you  may 
know  him  if  you  see  him  again.  I  take  him  to  be  a  Protestant 
spy:  but  I  do  not  know  for  certain." 

He  still  stood  waiting.  He  knew  very  well,  I  think,  that 
I  was  on  some  business,  and  that  therefore  I  was  in  some 
danger  too  at  such  a  time;  though  I  had  never  spoken  to 
him  of  it. 

"  And  another  thing  that  I  have  to  say  to  you  is  that  we 
must  ride  for  Hare  Street  to-morrow,  and  arrive  there  by  to- 
morrow night — without  lying  anywhere  on  the  road.  You 
must  have  the  horses  here,  and  all  ready,  by  seven  o'clock  in 
the  morning.  And  you  must  tell  no  one  where  we  are  going 
to,  to  hinder  any  from  following  us,  if  we  can  help  it.  We 
must  lie  at  Hare  Street  a  good  while. 

"  And  the  third  thing  I  have  to  say  is  this ;  that  you  must 
watch  out  very  shrewdly  for  any  signs  that  we  are  known  or 

105 


106  ODDSFISHJ 

suspected  of  anything.  I  tell  you  plainly  that  both  you  and 
I  may  be  in  some  danger  for  a  while;  so  if  you  have  no  taste 
for  that,  you  had  best  begone.  You  will  keep  quiet,  I  know 
very  well." 

"  Sir,  I  will  stay  with  you,  if  you  please,"  said  James,  as 
the  last  word  was  out  of  my  mouth. 

I  gave  him  a  look  of  pleasure;  but  no  more;  and  he  under- 
stood me  very  well. 

"  Then  that  is  all  that  I  have  to  say.  You  may  bring 
supper  in  as  soon  as  you  like." 

Before  I  lay  down  that  night  I  had  transferred  His  Maj- 
esty's packet  to  a  belt  that  I  put  next  to  my  skin;  and  so  I 
went  to  bed. 

It  was  still  pretty  dark  when  we  came  out  upon  the  Ware 
road  upon  the  next  morning.  I  did  not  call  James  up  to 
ride  with  me;  for  I  had  a  great  number  of  things  to  think 
about;  and  first  amongst  them  was  the  commission  which  His 
Majesty  had  given  me.  What  then  could  such  a  business  be? 
— a  packet  that  I  must  carry  with  me,  and  deliver  to  a  man 
whose  name  should  be  given  me  afterwards !  Why,  then,  was 
it  entrusted  to  me  so  soon?  And  why  could  not  the  name 
be  given  to  me  immediately?  But  to  such  riddles  there  was 
no  answer;  and  I  left  it  presently  alone. 

The  second  thing  that  I  had  to  think  of  was  the  matter 
of  the  men  whom  I  had  seen  condemned  yesterday;  and  even 
of  that  I  did  not  know  much  more  than  of  the  packet.  His 
Majesty  had  not  spoken  of  them,  except  to  ask  questions  at  the 
beginning;  and  this  seemed  as  a  bad  omen  to  me.  Yet  I  had 
the  King's  word  on  it  that  they  should  not  suffer ;  and,  when  I 
considered,  there  was  no  obligation  or  even  any  reason  at  all 
that  he  should  talk  out  the  matter  with  myself.  Yet,  though 
I  presently  put  this  affair  too  from  my  mind,  since  I  had  no 
certain  knowledge  of  what  would  happen,  it  came  back  to  me 
again  and  again — that  memory  of  Mr.  Ireland  and  Mr.  Grove 
in  the  lodgings  in  Drury  Lane,  so  harmless  and  so  merry,  and 
again  as  I  had  seen  them  yesterday  in  the  dock,  with  Mr. 


ODDSFISH!  107 

Pickering,  so  helpless  and  yet  so  courageous  in  face  of  the 
injustice  that  was  being  done  on  them. 

The  third  thing  that  I  had  to  think  upon  was  Hare  Street 
to  which  I  was  going  as  fast  as  I  could,  and  of  those  who 
would  greet  me  there,  and  most  of  all,  I  need  not  say,  of  my 
Cousin  Dolly.  Her  father  had  written  to  me  two  or  three 
times  during  the  four  months  that  I  had  been  away;  and  his 
last  had  been  the  letter  of  a  very  much  frightened  man,  what 
with  the  news  that  had  come  to  him  of  the  proceedings  in  Lon- 
don and  the  feeling  against  the  Catholics.  But  I  had  writ- 
ten back  to  him  that  nothing  was  to  be  feared  if  he  would 
but  stay  still  and  hold  his  tongue;  and  that  I  myself  would  be 
with  him  presently,  I  hoped,  and  would  reassure  him;  for  in 
spite  of  the  hot  feeling  in  London  the  country  Catholics  suf- 
fered from  it  little  or  not  at  all,  so  long  as  they  minded  their 
own  business.  But  it  was  principally  of  my  Cousin  Dolly 
that  I  thought;  for  the  memory  of  her  had  been  with  me  a 
great  deal  during  the  four  months  I  had  lived  in  London;  but 
I  was  determined  to  do  nothing  in  a  hurry,  since  the  remem- 
brance of  her  father's  words  to  me,  and,  even  more,  of  his 
manner  and  look  in  speaking,  stuck  in  my  throat  and  hindered 
me  from  seeing  clearly.  I  knew  very  well,  however,  that  my 
principal  reason  why  I  urged  Peter  on  over  the  bad  roads,  was 
that  I  might  see  her  the  more  quickly. 

Nothing  of  any  importance  happened  to  us  on  the  way.  At 
Hoddesdon  the  memory  of  Mr.  Rumbald  came  back  to  my 
mind,  and  I  wondered  where  it  was  in  Hoddesdon  or  near  it 
that  he  had  his  malt-houses;  and  before  that  we  stayed  again 
for  dinner  at  the  Four  Swans  in  Waltham  Cross,  where  the 
host  knew  me  again  and  asked  how  matters  were  in  London; 
and  we  came  at  last  in  sight  of  the  old  church  at  Hormead 
Parva,  just  as  the  sun  was  going  down  upon  our  left.  Peter, 
my  horse,  knew  where  he  was  then,  and  needed  no  more  urg- 
ing, for  he  knew  that  his  stable  was  not  far  away. 

They  knew  of  course  nothing  of  my  coming;  and  when  I  dis- 
mounted in  the  yard  there  was  not  a  man  to  be  seen.  I  left 
my  horse  with  James;  and  went  along  the  flagged  path  that 


108  ODDSFISH! 

led  to  the  door,  and  beat  upon  the  door.  The  house  seemed 
all  dark  and  deserted;  and  it  was  not  till  I  had  beaten  once 
more  at  the  door  that  I  saw  a  light  shewing  beneath  it. 
Presently  a  very  unsteady  voice  cried  out  to  know  who  was 
there ;  and  I  knew  it  for  my  Cousin  Tom's ;  so  I  roared  at  him 
that  it  was  myself.  There  followed  a  great  to-do  of  unlock- 
ing and  unbarring — for  they  had  the  house — as  I  found  pres- 
ently— fortified  as  it  were  a  castle;  and  when  the  door  was 
undone  there  was  my  Cousin  Tom  with  a  great  blunderbuss 
and  two  men  with  swords  behind  him. 

"  Why,  whatever  is  forward  ?  "  I  said  sharply ;  for  I  was 
impatient  with  the  long  waiting  and  the  cold,  for  a  frost  was 
beginning  as  the  sun  set. 

"  Why,  Cousin  Roger,  we  knew  nothing  of  your  coming," 
said  my  Cousin  Tom,  looking  a  little  foolish,  I  thought. 
"  We  did  not  know  who  was  at  the  door." 

"  I  only  knew  myself  of  my  coming  yesterday,"  I  said. 
"  And  whatever  is  the  house  fortified  for  ?  " 

My  cousin  was  putting  up  the  bolts  again  as  I  spoke;  (the 
two  men  were  gone  away  into  the  back  of  the  house)  ; — and,  as 
soon  as  he  had  done,  he  said: 

"  Why,  there  are  dangerous  folks  about,  Cousin  Roger. 
And  it  is  a  Catholic  house,  you  see." 

I  smiled  at  that;  but  said  no  more;  for  at  that  moment  my 
Cousin  Dolly  came  through  from  the  back  of  the  house  where 
she  had  been  sent  by  her  father  for  safety;  and  at  that  sight 
I  thought  no  more  of  the  door. 

I  saluted  her  as  a  cousin  should;  and  she  me.  She  looked 
mighty  pretty  to  me,  in  her  dark  dress,  with  her  lace  on,  for 
supper  was  just  on  the  table;  and  I  cannot  but  think  she  was 
pleased  to  see  me,  for  she  was  all  smiling  and  flushed. 

"  So  it  is  you,  Cousin  Roger,"  she  said.  "  I  thought  it 
might  very  well  be.  We  looked  for  you  before  Christmas." 

At  supper,  and  afterwards,  I  learned  in  what  a  panic  poor 
Cousin  Tom  had  lived  since  the  news  of  the  plot,  and,  above 
all,  of  Sir  Edmund  Berry  Godfrey's  death;  and  what  he  said 
to  me  made  me  determine  to  speak  to  him  of  my  own  small 


ODDSFISH!  109 

peril,  for  he  had  the  right  to  know,  and  to  forbid  me  his  house, 
if  he  wished.  But  I  hoped  that  he  would  not.  It  appeared 
that  when  the  news  of  Sir  Edmund's  death  had  come,  there 
had  been  something  of  a  to-do  in  the  village,  of  no  great  sig- 
nification; for  it  was  no  more  than  a  few  young  men  who 
marched  up  and  down  shouting  together — as  such  yokels  will, 
upon  the  smallest  excuse;  and  one  of  them  had  cried  out  at 
the  gate  of  Hare  Street  House.  At  Barkway  there  had  been 
more  of  a  business;  for  there  they  had  burnt  an  effigy  of  the 
Pope  in  the  churchyard;  and  the  parson — who  was  a  stout 
Churchman — had  made  a  speech  upon  it.  However,  this  had 
played  upon  Cousin  Tom's  fears,  and  he  had  fortified  the 
house  with  bolts,  and  slept  with  a  pistol  by  his  bed. 

I  told  him  that  same  night — not  indeed  all  that  happened  to 
me;  but  enough  of  it  to  satisfy  him.  I  said  that  I  had  been  a 
good  deal  at  the  Jesuits'  lodgings;  and  at  the  trial  of  the 
three ;  and  that  a  fellow  had  attempted  to  follow  me  home ;  but 
that  I  had  thrown  him  off. 

Cousin  Tom  had  the  pipe  from  his  mouth  and  was  holding 
it  in  his  hand,  by  the  time  I  had  done. 

"  Now,  Cousin,"  I  said,  "  if  you  think  I  am  anything  of  a 
danger  to  the  house,  you  have  but  to  say  the  word,  and  I  will 
be  off.  On  the  other  hand,  I  and  my  man  might  be  of  some 
small  service  to  you  if  it  came  to  a  brawl." 

"  You  threw  him  off?  "  asked  Cousin  Tom. 

"It  was  at  Whitehall "  I  began;  and  then  I  stopped: 

for  I  had  not  intended  to  speak  of  the  King. 

"  Oho ! "  said  Cousin  Tom.  "  Then  you  have  been  at 
Whitehall  again?" 

"  Why,  yes,"  I  said,  trying  to  pass  it  off.  "  I  have  been 
i  there  and  everywhere." 

Cousin  Tom  put  the  pipe  back  again  into  his  mouth. 

"  And  there  is  another  matter,"  I  said  (for  Hare  Street 
suited  me  very  well  as  a  lodging,  and  I  had  named  it  as  such 
to  His  Majesty).  "  It  is  not  right,  Cousin  Tom,  that  you 
should  keep  me  here  for  nothing.  Let  me  pay  something  each 
month — "  (And  I  named  a  suitable  sum.) 

That  determined  Cousin  Tom  altogether.     My  speaking  of 


110  ODDSFISH! 

Whitehall  had  greatly  reassured  him;  and  now  this  offer  of 
mine  made  up  his  mind;  for  he  was  something  of  a  skinflint 
in  some  respects.  (For  all  that  I  did  for  him  when  I  was 
here,  in  the  fields  and  at  the  farm,  more  than  repaid  him  for 
the  expense  of  my  living  there.)  He  protested  a  little,  and 
said  that  between  kinsfolk  no  such  question  should  enter  in; 
but  he  protested  with  a  very  poor  grace;  and  so  the  matter 
was  settled,  and  we  both  satisfied. 

So,  once  more,  the  time  began  to  pass  very  agreeably  for 
me.  Here  was  I,  safe  from  all  the  embroilments  of  town,  in 
the  same  house  with  my  Cousin  Dorothy,  and  with  plenty  of 
leisure  for  my  languages  again.  Yet  my  satisfaction  was 
greatly  broken  up  when  I  heard,  on  the  last  day  of  January 
that  all  that  I  had  feared  was  come  about,  and  that  of  the 
three  men  whom  I  had  seen  condemned  at  the  Old  Bailey,  two 
— Mr.  Ireland  and  Mr.  Grove — had  been  executed  seven  days 
before:  (Mr.  Pickering  was  kept  back  on  some  excuse,  and 
not  put  to  death  until  May).  The  way  I  heard  of  it  was 
in  this  manner. 

I  was  in  Puckeridge  one  day,  on  a  matter  which  I  do  not 
now  remember,  and  was  going  to  the  stable  of  the  White  Hart 
inn  to  get  my  horse  to  ride  back  again,  when  I  ran  into  Mr. 
Rumbald  who  was  there  on  the  same  errand.  I  was  in  my 
country  suit,  and  very  much  splashed;  and  it  was  going  on  for 
evening,  so  he  noticed  nothing  of  me  but  my  face. 

"Why,  Mallock,"  he  cried— "  It  is  Mr.  Mallock,  is  it 
not?"  ' 

I  "told  him  yes. 

He  exchanged  a  few  words  with  me,  for  he  was  one  of  those 
fellows  who  when  they  have  once  made  up  their  minds  to  a 
thing,  do  not  easily  change  it,  and  he  was  persuaded  that  I 
was  of  his  kind  and  something  of  a  daredevil  too,  which  was 
what  he  liked.  Then  at  the  end  he  said  something  which 
made  me  question  him  as  to  what  he  meant. 

"  Have  you  not  heard  ?  "  he  cried.  "  Why  the  Popish  dogs 
were  hanged  a  week  ago — Ireland  and  Grove,  I  mean.  And 


ODDSFISH!  Ill 

there  be  three  or  four  more  men — accused  by  Bedloe  of  God- 
frey's murder,  and  will  be  tried  presently." 

I  need  not  say  what  a  horror  it  was  to  me  to  hear  that;  for 
I  had  had  more  hope  in  my  heart  than  I  had  thought.  But  I 
was  collected  enough  to  say  something  that  satisfied  him;  and, 
as  again  he  had  been  drinking,  he  was  not  very  quick. 

"And  those  three  or  four?"  I  asked.  "Are  they  Jesuits 
too?" 

"  No,"  said  Rumbald,  "  but  there  will  be  another  batch 
presently,  I  make  no  doubt." 

I  got  rid  of  him  at  last;  and  rode  homewards;  but  it  was 
with  a  very  heavy  heart.  Not  once  yet  had  the  King  exer- 
cised his  prerogative  of  mercy;  and  if  he  yielded  at  the  first, 
and  that  against  the  Jesuits  whom  he  had  sworn  to  protect, 
was  there  anything  in  which  he  would  resist? 

My  Cousin  Dorothy  saw  in  my  face  as  I  came  in  that  some- 
thing was  the  matter;  so  I  told  her  the  truth. 

"  May  they  rest  in  peace,"  she  said ;  and  blessed  herself. 

From  time  to  time  news  reached  us  in  this  kind  of  manner. 
Though  we  were  not  a  great  distance  from  London  we  were  in 
a  very  solitary  place,  away  from  the  high-road  that  ran  to 
Cambridge;  and  few  came  our  way.  Even  in  Puckeridge  it 
was  not  known,  I  think,  who  I  was,  nor  that  I  was  cousin  to 
Mr.  Jermyn;  so  I  had  no  fear  of  Mr.  Rumbald  suspecting  me. 
Green,  Berry,  and  Hill  were  all  convicted  of  Sir  Edmund's 
murder,  through  the  testimony  of  Bedloe,  who  said  that  he  had 
himself  seen  the  body  at  Somerset  House,  and  that  Sir  Ed- 
mund had  been  strangled  there  by  priests  and  others  and  con- 
veyed later  to  the  ditch  in  Primrose  Hill  where  he  was  found. 
Another  fellow,  too,  named  Miles  Prance,  a  silversmith  in 
Princes  Street  (out  of  Drury  Lane),  who  was  said  by  Bed- 
loe to  have  been  privy  to  the  murder,  in  the  fear  of  his  life, 
and  after  inhuman  treatment  in  prison,  did  corroborate  the 
story  and  add  to  it,  under  promise  of  pardon,  which  he  got. 
Green,  Berry,  and  Hill,  then,  were  hanged  on  the  tenth  day 
of  February,  on  the  testimonies  of  these  two;  and  were  as  in- 


ODDSFISHI 

nocent  as  unborn  babes.  It  was  remarked  how  strangely  their 
names  went  with  the  name  of  the  murdered  man  and  of  the 
place  he  was  found  in. 

For  a  while  after  that,  matters  were  more  quiet.  A  man 
named  Samuel  Atkins  was  tried  presently,  but  was  acquitted; 
and  then  a  Nathaniel  Reading  was  tried  for  suppressing  evi- 
dence, and  was  punished  for  it.  But  our  minds,  rather,  were 
fixed  upon  the  approaching  trial  of  the  "  Five  Jesuits  "  as 
they  were  called,  who  still  awaited  it  in  prison — Whitbread, 
Fenwick,  Harcourt,  Gavan  and  Turner — all  priests.  But  I 
had  not  a  great  deal  of  hope  for  these,  when  I  thought  of 
what  had  happened  to  the  rest;  and,  indeed,  at  the  end  of 
May,  Mr.  Pickering  himself  was  executed.  At  the  beginning 
of  May  too,  we  heard  of  the  bloody  murder  of  Dr.  Sharpe,  the 
Protestant  Archbishop  in  Scotland,  by  the  old  Covenanters, 
driven  mad  by  the  persecution  this  man  had  put  them  to;  but 
this  did  not  greatly  affect  our  fortunes  either  way.  One  of 
the  most  bitter  thoughts  of  all  was  that  a  secular  priest  named 
Serjeant,  who,  with  another  named  Morris,  was  of  Gallican 
views,  had  given  evidence  in  public  court  against  the  Jesuits' 
casuistry. 

Meanwhile,  in  other  matters,  we  were  quiet  enough.  Still 
I  hesitated  in  pushing  my  suit  with  my  Cousin  Dolly,  until 
I  could  see  whether  she  was  being  forced  to  it  or  not.  But 
my  Cousin  Tom  had  more  wits  than  I  had  thought;  for  he  said 
no  more  to  me  on  the  point,  nor  I  to  him;  and  I  think  I 
should  have  spoken  to  her  that  summer,  had  not  an  interrup- 
tion come  to  my  plans  that  set  all  aside  for  the  present.  Dur- 
ing those  months  of  spring  and  early  summer  we  had  no  re- 
ligious consolation  at  all;  for  we  were  too  near  London,  and 
at  the  same  time  too  solitary  for  any  priest  to  come  to  us. 

The  interruption  came  in  this  manner. 

I  had  sent  my  man  over  to  Waltham  Cross  on  an  affair  of  a 
horse  that  was  to  be  sold  there  on  the  nineteenth  day  of  June 
(as  I  very  well  remember,  from  what  happened  afterwards) ; 
and  when  he  came  back  he  asked  if  he  might  speak  with  me 
privately.  When  I  had  him  alone  in  my  room  he  told  me  he 
had  news  from  a  Catholic  ostler  at  the  Four  Swans,  with 


ODDSFISH!  113 

whom  he  had  spoken,  that  a  party  had  been  asking  after  me 
there  that  very  morning. 

"  I  said  to  him,  sir,  What  kind  of  a  party  was  it  ?  And  he 
told  me  that  there  were  four  men;  and  that  they  went  in  to 
drink  first  and  to  dine,  for  they  came  there  about  noon.  I 
asked  him  then  if  any  of  them  had  any  mark  by  which  he 
could  be  known ;  and  he  laughed  at  that ;  and  said  that  one  of 
them  was  branded  in  the  hand,  for  he  was  pulling  his  glove 
on  when  he  came  into  the  yard  afterwards,  so  that  it  was 
seen." 

I  said  nothing  for  a  moment,  when  James  said  that,  for  I 
was  considering  whether  so  small  a  business  of  so  many 
months  ago  was  worth  thinking  of. 

"  And  what  then?  "  I  said. 

"  Well,  sir ;  as  I  was  riding  back  I  kept  my  eyes  about 
me;  and  especially  in  the  villages  where  it  might  be  easy  to 
miss  them;  and  in  Puckeridge,  as  I  came  by  the  inn  I  looked 
into  the  yard,  and  saw  there  four  horses  all  tied  up  together." 

"  Did  you  ask  after  them?  "  I  said. 

"  No,  sir;  I  thought  it  best  not.  But  I  pushed  on  as  quickly 
as  I  could." 

"  Did  the  ostler  at  Waltham  Cross  tell  you  what  answer 
was  given  to  the  inquiries  ?  " 

"  No,  sir — he  heard  your  name  only  from  the  parlour  win- 
dow as  he  went  through  the  yard." 

Now  here  was  I  in  a  quandary.  On  the  one  hand  this  was 
a  very  small  affair,  and  not  much  evidence  either  way,  and  I 
did  not  wish  to  alarm  my  Cousin  Tom  if  I  need  not;  and,  on 
the  other  if  they  were  after  me  I  had  best  be  gone  as  soon  as 
I  could.  It  was  six  months  since  the  fellow  Dangerfield  had 
asked  after  me  at  Whitehall,  and  no  harm  had  followed. 
Yet  here  was  the  tale  of  the  branded  hand — and,  although 
there  were  many  branded  hands  in  England,  the  consonance 
of  this  with  what  had  happened,  misliked  me  a  little. 

"  And  was  there  any  more  news  ?  "  I  asked. 
"  Why,  yes,  sir ;  I  had  forgot.     The  man  told  me  too  that 
the  five  Jesuits  were  cast  six  days  ago,  and  Mr.  Langhorn  a 
day  later,  and  that  they  were  all  sentenced  together."     (Mr. 


114  ODDSFISH! 

Langhorn  was  a  lawyer,  a  very  hot  and  devout  Catholic;  but 
his  wife  was  as  hot  a  Protestant.) 

Now  on  hearing  that  I  was  a  little  more  perturbed.  Here 
were  Mr.  Whitbread  and  Mr.  Fenwick,  in  whose  company  I 
had  often  been  seen  in  public  before  the  late  troubles,  con- 
demned and  awaiting  sentence;  and  here  was  a  fellow  with  a 
branded  hand  asking  after  me  in  Waltham  Cross.  Gates  and 
Bedloe  and  Tonge  and  Kirby  and  a  score  of  others  were  evi- 
dence that  any  man  who  sought  his  fortune  might  very  well 
do  so  in  Popish  plots  and  accusations;  and  it  was  quite  be- 
lievable that  Dangerfield  was  one  more  of  them,  and  that 
after  these  new  events  he  was  after  me.  Yet,  still,  I  did  not 
wish  to  alarm  my  Cousin  Tom;  for  he  was  a  man  who  could 
not  hide  his  feelings,  I  thought. 

It  was  growing  dark  now;  for  it  was  after  nine  o'clock, 
and  cloudy,  with  no  moon  to  rise;  and  all  would  soon  be  gone 
to  bed;  so  what  I  did  I  must  do  at  once.  I  sat  still  in  my 
chair,  thinking  that  if  I  were  hunted  out  of  Hare  Street  I  had 
nowhere  to  go ;  and  then  on  a  sudden  I  remembered  the  King's 
packet  which  he  had  given  me,  and  which  I  still  carried,  as  al- 
ways, wrapped  in  oil-cloth  next  to  my  skin,  since  no  word  had 
come  from  him  as  to  what  I  was  to  do  with  it.  And  at  that 
remembrance  I  determined  that  I  must  undergo  no  risks. 

"  James/'  I  said,  "  I  think  that  we  must  be  ready  to  go 
away  if  we  are  threatened  in  any  way.  Go  down  to  the 
stables  and  saddle  a  fresh  horse  for  you,  and  my  own.  Then 
come  up  here  again  and  pack  a  pair  of  valises.  I  do  not  know 
as  yet  whether  we  must  go  or  not;  but  we  must  be  ready  for 
it.  Then  take  the  valises  and  the  horses  down  to  the  meadow, 
through  the  garden,  and  tie  all  up  there,  under  the  shadow  of 
the  trees  from  where  you  can  see  the  house.  And  you  must 
remain  there  yourself  till  twelve  o'clock  to-night.  At  twelve 
o'clock,  as  near  as  I  can  tell  it,  if  all  is  quiet  I  will  show  a 
light  three  times  from  the  garret  window;  and  when  you  see 
that  you  can  come  back  again  and  go  to  bed.  If  they  are  after 
us  at  all  they  will  come  when  they  think  we  are  all  asleep ;  and 
it  will  be  before  twelve  o'clock.  Do  you  understand  it  all  ?  " 


ODDSFISH!  115 

(I  was  very  glib  in  all  this;  for  I  had  thought  it  out  all  be- 
forehand, if  ever  there  should  be  an  alarm  of  this  kind.) 

My  man  said  that  he  understood  very  well,  and  went  away, 
and  I  down  to  the  Great  Chamber  where  I  had  left  my 
cousins. 

As  I  came  in  at  the  door,  my  Cousin  Tom  woke  up  with  a 
great  snuffle;  and  stared  at  me  as  if  amazed,  as  folks  do  when 
suddenly  awakened. 

"  Well;  to  bed,"  he  said.     "  I  am  half  there  already." 

My  Cousin  Dorothy  looked  up  from  her  sewing;  and  I 
think  she  knew  that  something  was  forward;  for  she  con- 
tinued to  look  at  me. 

"  Not  to  bed  yet,  Cousin  Tom,"  I  said.  "  There  is  a  mat- 
ter I  must  speak  of  first." 

Well;  I  sat  down  and  told  him  as  gently  as  I  could — all  the 
affair,  except  of  the  King's  packet;  and  by  the  time  I  was 
done  he  was  no  longer  at  all  drowsy.  I  told  him  too  of  the 
design  I  had  formed,  and  that  James  was  gone  to  carry  it 
out. 

"  Had  you  not  best  be  gone  at  once?  "  he  said;  and  I  saw 
the  terror  in  his  eyes,  lest  he  too  should  be  embroiled.  But 
my  Cousin  Dorothy  looked  at  me,  unafraid;  only  there  was 
a  spot  of  colour  on  either  cheek. 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  I  can  ride  out  into  the  fields  and  wait 
there,  if  you  wish  it,  until  morning:  if  you  will  send  for  me 
then  if  all  be  quiet." 

But  I  explained  to  him  again  that  I  was  in  two  minds  as 
to  whether  I  should  go  at  all,  so  very  small  was  the  evidence 
of  danger. 

He  looked  foolish  at  that;  but  I  could  see  that  he  wanted 
me  gone:  so  I  stood  up. 

"  Well,  Cousin,"  I  said,  "  I  see  that  you  will  be  easier  if 
I  go.  I  will  begone  first  and  see  whether  James  has  the 
horses  out;  and  you  had  best  meanwhile  go  to  my  chamber 
and  put  away  all  that  can  incriminate  you — in  one  of  your 
hiding-holes." 

I  was  half-way  to  the  kitchen  when  I  heard  my  Cousin 


116  ODDSFISH! 

Dorothy  come  after  me;  and  I  could  see  that  she  was  in  a 
great  way. 

"  Cousin/'  she  said,  "  I  am  ashamed  that  my  father  should 
speak  like  that.  If  I  were  mistress " 

"  My  dear  Cousin/'  I  said  lightly,  "  if  you  were  mistress, 
I  should  not  be  here  at  all." 

"  It  is  a  shame,"  she  said  again,  paying  no  attention,  as 
her  way  was  when  she  liked.  "  It  is  a  shame  that  you  should 
spend  all  night  in  the  fields  for  nothing." 

As  she  was  speaking  I  heard  James  come  downstairs  with 
the  valises.  As  he  went  past  he  told  me  he  already  had  the 
horses  tied  under  the  trees.  I  nodded  to  him,  and  bade  him 
go  on,  and  he  went  out  into  the  yard  and  so  through  the 
stables. 

"  I  had  best  go  help  your  father  put  the  things  away/'  I 
said.  "  They  will  not  be  here,  at  anyrate,  until  the  lights 
of  the  house  are  all  out." 

We  went  upstairs  together  and  found  my  Cousin  Tom  al- 
ready busy:  he  had  my  clothes  all  in  a  great  heap,  ready  to 
carry  down  to  the  hiding-hole  above  the  door;  my  papers 
he  already  had  put  away  into  the  little  recess  behind  the  bed, 
and  the  books,  most  of  which  had  not  my  name  in  them,  he 
designed  to  carry  to  his  own  chamber. 

We  worked  hard  at  all  this — my  Cousin  Tom  in  a  kind  of 
fever,  rolling  his  eyes  at  every  sound ;  and,  at  the  last,  we  had 
all  put  away,  and  were  about  to  close  the  door  of  the  hiding 
hole.     Then  my  Cousin  Dorothy  held  up  her  hand. 

"Hush!"  she  said;  and  then,  "There  was  a  step  on  th( 
paved  walk." 


CHAPTER     IX 

WHEN  my  Cousin  Dorothy  said  that,  we  all  became  upon 
the  instant  as  still  as  mice;  and  I  saw  my  Cousin  Tom's 
mouth  suddenly  hang  open  and  his  eyes  to  become  fixed. 
For  myself,  I  cannot  say  precisely  what  I  felt;  but  it  would 
be  foolish  to  say  that  I  was  not  at  all  frightened.  For  to 
be  crept  upon  in  the  dark,  when  all  is  quiet,  in  a  solitary 
country  place;  and  to  know,  as  I  did,  that  behind  all  the 
silence  there  is  the  roar  of  a  mob — (as  it  is  called) — for 
blood,  and  the  Lord  Chief  Justice's  face  of  iron  and  his  bit- 
ter murderous  tongue,  and  the  scaffold  and  the  knife — this  is 
daunting  to  any  man.  I  made  no  mistake  upon  the  matter. 
If  this  were  Dangerfield  himself,  my  life  was  ended;  he  would 
not  have  come  here,  so  far,  and  with  such  caution;  he  would 
not  have  been  at  the  pains  to  smell  me  out  at  all,  unless  he 
were  sure  of  his  end;  and,  indeed,  my  companying  so  much 
with  the  Jesuits  and  my  encounter  with  Gates,  and  my  seek- 
ing service  with  the  King,  and  for  no  pay  too — all  this,  in 
such  days,  was  evidence  enough  to  hang  an  angel  from 
heaven. 

This  passed  through  my  mind  like  a  picture;  and  then  I 
remembered  that  it  was  no  more  than  a  step  on  a  paved  path. 

"If  it  is  they,"  I  whispered,  "  they  will  be  round  the  house 
by  now.  We  had  best  look  from  a  dark  window." 

But  my  Cousin  Tom  seized  me  suddenly  by  the  arm  in  so 
fierce  a  grip  that  I  winced  and  all  but  cried  out;  and  so  we 
stood. 

"  If  you  have  brought  ruin  on  me "  he  began  presently 

in  a  horrid  kind  of  whisper;  and  then  he  gripped  me  again; 
for  again,  so  that  no  man  could  mistake  it,  came  a  single  step 
on  the  paved  path;  and  in  my  mind  I  sawT  how  two  men  had 
crossed  from  lawn  to  lawn,  to  get  all  round  the  house,  each 
stepping  once  upon  the  stones.  They  must  have  entered  from 
the  yard. 

11T 


118  ODDSFISH! 

In  those  moments  there  came  to  me  too  a  knowledge,  o: 
the  truth  of  which  I  neither  had  nor  have  any  doubt  at  all, 
that  my  Cousin  Tom  was  considering  whether  he  might  save 
himself  or  no  by  handing  me  forthwith  to  the  searchers 
But  I  suppose  he  thought  not;  for  presently  his  hand  relaxed 

"  In  with  you/'  he  whispered ;  and  made  a  back  for  me  to 
climb  up  into  the  hiding-hole.  I  looked  at  my  Cousin  Dolly 
and  she  nodded  at  me  ever  so  gently;  so  I  set  my  foot  on  my 
Cousin  Tom's  broad  back,  and  my  hands  to  the  ledge,  and 
raised  myself  up.  It  was  a  pretty  wide  space  within,  suf- 
ficient to  hold  three  or  four  men,  though  my  clothes  and  a  few 
books  covered  most  of  the  floor;  but  the  only  light  I  had  was 
from  the  candle  that  my  Cousin  Dolly  carried  in  her  hand. 
As  I  turned  to  the  door  again,  I  caught  a  sight  of  her  face, 
very  pretty  and  very  pale,  looking  up  at  me :  I  remember  even 
now  the  shadow  on  her  eyes  and  beneath  her  hair;  and  then 
the  door  was  put  to  quickly,  and  I  was  all  in  the  dark. 

It  was  a  very  strange  experience  to  lie  there  and  to  hear 
all  that  went  on  in  the  house,  scarcely  a  hand's-breadth  away. 

I  lay  there,  I  should  think,  ten  minutes  or  a  quarter  of  an 
hour  before  the  assault  was  made;  and  during  that  time  too 
I  could  tell  pretty  well  all  that  went  on.  There  remained 
for  a  minute  or  thereabouts,  a  line  of  light  upon  the  roof  of 
my  little  chamber  from  the  candle  that  my  Cousin  Dolly  car- 
ried; (and  that  line  of  light  was  as  a  star  to  me);  then  I 
heard  a  little  whispering ;  the  light  went  out ;  and  I  heard  soft 
steps  going  upstairs.  Then  I  heard  first  the  door  of  my 
Cousin  Dolly's  chamber  close,  and  then  another  door  which 
was  my  Cousin  Tom's.  Then  followed  complete  silence;  and 
I  knew  that  the  two  would  go  to  bed,  and  be  found  there,  as  if 
ignorant  of  everything. 

The  assault  was  made  on  two  doors  at  once,  at  front  and 
back.  They  had  another  man  or  two,  I  have  no  doubt,  in 
the  stable-yard;  and  more  beneath  the  windows  everywhere, 
so  that  I  could  not  escape  any  way.  There  came  on  a  sud- 
den loud  hammerings  and  voices  shouting  altogether;  but  I 


ODDSFISH!  119 

could  not  tell  what  it  was  that  they  cried;  but  I  suppose  it 
must  have  been,  "  Open  in  the  King's  name !  " 

Then  the  house  awakened,  all,  that  is,  that  were  asleep; 
and  the  rest  feigned  to  do  so.  I  heard  steps  run  down  the 
stairs,  and  voices  everywhere;  as  the  maids  over  the  kitchen 
awakened  and  screamed  as  maids  will,  and  the  men  awakened 
and  ran  down  from  the  garret.  Then,  overhead,  across  the 
lobby  I  heard  my  Cousin  Tom's  footsteps,  and  I  nearly 
laughed  to  myself  at  the  thought  of  the  part  that  he  must 
play,  and  of  how  ill  he  would  play  it.  And  all  the  while  the 
beating  on  the  doors  went  on ;  and  I  heard  voices  through  the 
lath  and  plaster  from  the  back-hall;  and  then  the  sound  of 
unbolting,  and  the  knocking  ceased  on  that  side,  though  it 
still  went  on  upon  the  other. 

My  hiding-hole,  as  I  have  said,  was  in  the  very  centre  of 
the  house;  one  side  faced  upon  the  back-hall;  and  the  oppo- 
site down  the  front  passage;  and,  of  the  other  two,  one  upon 
the  stairs  and  one  upon  the  kitchen  passage,  and  these  two 
had  the  doors  in  them.  Above  me  was  the  lobby;  and  be- 
neath me,  first  the  little  way  into  the  back-hall,  and  beneath 
that  the  cellars.  It  was  strange  how  prominent  the  place 
was,  and  yet  how  well  concealed.  One  might  live  ten  years 
in  the  house  without  suspecting  its  presence. 

Presently  the  whole  house  was  full  of  talking;  and  the  front 
door  was  opened;  and  I  heard  a  gentleman's  voice  speaking. 
He  was  Mr.  Harris,  I  learned  afterwards,  a  Justice  of  the 
Peace  from  Puckeridge,  whom  Dangerfield  had  brought  with 
him. 

Much  of  what  was  said  I  could  not  hear ;  but  I  heard  enough 
to  understand  why  I  was  being  looked  for,  and  what  would 
be  the  charges  against  me.  Now  the  voices  came  muffled; 
and  now  clear;  so  that  I  would  hear  half  a  sentence  and  no 
more,  as  the  speaker  moved  on. 

"  I  tell  you  he  left  for  Rome  to-night,"  I  heard  my  Cousin 
Tom  say  (which  was  an  adroit  lie  indeed,  as  no  one  could  tell 
whether  I  had  or  no),  "  and  he  hath  taken  his  man  with 
him." 


120  ODDSFISH! 

"  That  is  very  well "  began  the  gentleman's  voice ;  anc 

then  no  more. 

Presently  I  heard  one  of  the  men  of  the  house,  named  Dick 
— a  good  friend  of  mine,  ask  what  they  were  after  me  for 
and  some  fellow,  as  he  went  by,  answered: 

" — Consorting  with  the  Jesuits,  and  conspiring "  anc 

no  more. 

So,  then,  I  lay  and  listened.  Much  that  I  heard  had  no 
relevance  at  all,  for  it  was  the  protesting  of  maids  and  such 
like.  The  footsteps  went  continually  up  and  down;  some 
times  voices  rose  in  anger;  sometimes  it  was  only  a  whispei 
that  went  by.  I  heard  presses  open  and  shut;  and  once  01 
twice  the  noise  of  hammering  overhead;  and  then  silence 
again;  but  no  silence  was  for  long. 

Here  again  I  find  it  very  hard  to  say  all  that  I  felt  during 
that  search.  My  thoughts  came  and  went  like  pictures  upon 
the  dark.  Now  my  heart  would  so  beat  that  it  sickened  me 
of  sheer  terror  that  I  should  be  found;  and  this  especially 
when  a  man  would  stay  for  a  while  talking  on  the  stairs  within 
an  arm's  length  of  where  I  lay:  now  it  was  as  I  might  say 
more  of  the  intellect;  and  I  pondered  on  what  I  heard  my 
Cousin  Tom  say,  and  marvelled  at  his  shrewdness;  for  fear 
if  it  does  not  drive  away  wits,  sharpens  them  wonderfully 
He  had,  of  course,  put  me  in  greater  peril,  by  saying  that  ] 
was  gone  to  Rome;  but  he  had  saved  himself  very  adroitly 
for  no  witness  in  the  house  could  tell  that  I  had  not  done  so 
for  here  was  my  chamber  empty,  and  I  and  my  man  and  my 
clothes  and  my  books  and  my  horses  all  vanished  away.  A 
one  time,  then,  I  was  all  eyes  and  ears  in  the  muffled  dark 
hearing  my  heart  thump  as  it  had  been  another's;  at  another 
time  I  would  be  looking  within  and  contemplating  my  own 
fear. 

Again  and  again,  however,  I  thought  of  my  Cousin  Dorothy 
and  wondered  where  she  was  and  what  she  was  at.  I  hac 
not  heard  her  voice  all  that  time;  and,  on  a  sudden,  after 
the  men  had  been  in  the  house  near  an  hour  I  should  say 
I  heard  her  sob  suddenly,  close  to  me,  in  a  terrified  kind  of 
voice. 


ODDSFISH!  121 

"  Keep  them,  Nancy,  keep  them  here  as  long  as  you  can. 
It  will  give  him " 

"  Eh  ?  "  said  a  man's  voice  suddenly  beneath.  "  What 
was  that?" 

"  I  said  nothing/'  stammered  my  Cousin  Dolly's  voice. 

Well;  there  was  a  to-do.  The  fellow  beneath  called  out 
to  Mr.  Harris,  who  was  upstairs ;  and  I  heard  him  come  down. 
My  Cousin  Dolly  was  sobbing  and  crying  out,  and  so  was  the 
maid  Nancy  to  whom  she  had  spoken.  At  first  I  could  make 
nothing  of  it,  nor  why  she  had  said  what  she  had;  and  then, 
as  I  heard  them  all  go  into  the  parlour  together,  I  understood 
that  if  my  Cousin  Tom  had  been  shrewd,  his  daughter  had 
been  shrewder;  and  had  said  what  she  had,  knowing  that  a 
man  was  within  earshot. 

But  there  was  nothing  for  me  to  do  but  to  lie  there  still: 
for  I  could  hear  nothing  from  the  parlour  but  a  confused 
sound  of  voices,  now  three  or  four  speaking  at  once,  now  a 
man's  voice  (which  I  took  to  be  the  magistrate's),  and  now, 
ff  thought  my  Cousin  Dolly's.  I  heard,  too,  above  me,  my 
Cousin  Tom  speaking  very  angrily,  and  understood  that  he 
was  kept  from  his  daughter — which  was  the  best  thing  in  the 
| world  for  me,  since  he  might  very  well  have  spoiled  the  whole 
[lesign.  At  last  I  heard  Dolly  cry  out  very  loud;  then  I 
I  heard  the  parlour-door  open  and  three  or  four  men  came 
[tumbling  out,  who  ran  beneath  my  hiding-hole  and  out  through 
Lthe  kitchen  passage  to  the  stable.  I  was  all  a-tremble  now, 
especially  at  my  cousin's  cry;  but  I  gave  her  credit  for  being 
as  shrewd  still  as  I  had  heard  her  to  be  on  the  stairs;  and  I 
[proved  right  in  the  event;  for  almost  immediately  after  that 
jny  Cousin  Tom  was  let  come  downstairs,  and  I  heard  every 
livord,  of  the  colloquy. 

"  Well,   Mr.   Jermyn,"   said  the  gentleman's  voice,  imme- 

Iliately  without  my  little  door,  "  I  am  sorry  indeed  to  have 

rroubled  you  in  this  way;  but  I  am  the  King's  justice  of  the 

(peace  and  I  must  do  my  duty.     Which  way  did  you  say  Mr. 

Mallock  was  gone  ?  " 

"  By  ...  by  Puckeridge,"  stammered  poor  Tom. 

"  Ah !  indeed,"  said  the  other  voice,  with  something  of  a 


ODDSFISH! 

sneer  in  it.  "Why  Mistress  Dorothy  here  says  it  was  by 
Barkway  and  so  to  Harwich;  an4  of  the  two  versions  I  pre- 
fer the  lady's.  For,  first,  we  should  have  seen  him  if  he  had 
come  by  Puckeridge,  since  we  have  been  lying  there  since 
three  o'clock  this  afternoon;  and  second,  no  such  man  in  his 
senses  would  go  to  Rome  by  London.  I  am  sorry  I  cannot 
commend  your  truthfulness,  Mr.  Jermyn,  as  much  as  your 
professions  of  loyalty." 

"  I  tell  you "  began  my  Cousin  Tom,  angrily  enough. 

"  I  need  no  telling,  Mr.  Jermyn.  Your  cousin  is  gone  by 
Barkway;  and  my  men  are  gone  to  get  the  horses  out  to  fol- 
low him.  We  shall  catch  him  before  Newmarket,  I  make  no 
doubt." 

Then  I  heard  Dolly's  sobbing  as  she  clung  to  her  father. 

"Oh!  father!  father!"  she  mourned.  "The  gentleman 
forced  it  out  of  me.  I  could  not  help  it.  I  could  not  help 
it!" 

(As  for  me,  I  smiled  near  from  ear  to  ear  in  the  dark,  to 
hear  how  well  she  feigned  grief ;  and  I  think  I  loved  my  Cousin 
Dolly  then  as  never  before.  It  would  have  made  a  cat  laugh, 
too,  to  hear  the  gentleman's  chivalry  in  return.) 

"  Mistress  Dorothy,"  he  said,  "  I  grieve  to  have  troubled 
you  like  this.  But  you  have  done  your  duty  as  an  English 
maid  should;  and  set  your  loyalty  to  His  Majesty  before  all 
else." 

Mistress  Dorothy  sobbed  so  admirably  in  return  that  my 
own  eyes  filled  with  tears  to  hear  her;  and  I  was  a  little  sorry 
for  the  poor  gentleman  too.  He  was  so  stupid,  and  yet  so 
well  mannered  too  now  that  he  had  got  all  that  he  wanted,  or 
thought  he  had. 

"  Well,  mistress,  and  Mr.  Jermyn,  I  must  not  delay  any 
longer.  The  horses  will  be  ready." 

They  moved  away  still  talking,  all  except  my  Cousin  Dolly 
who  sank  upon  the  stairs  still  sobbing.  She  cried  out  after 
Mr.  Harris  to  have  mercy;  and  then  fell  a-crying  again. 
When  the  door  of  the  kitchen  passage  shut — for  they  were  al] 
gone  out  by  now — her  crying  ceased  mighty  soon;  and  then 
I  heard  her  laugh  very  softly  to  herself,  and  break  off  again. 


ODDSFISH!  123 

as  if  she  had  put  her  hand  over  her  mouth.  But  I  dared  not 
peak  to  her  yet. 

I  listened  very  carefully — for  all  the  house  was  still  now 
—for  the  sound  of  the  horses'  feet;  and  presently  I  heard 
;hem,  and  reckoned  that  a  dozen  at  least  must  have  come  after 
me;  and  I  heard  the  voices  of  the  men  too  as  they  rode  away, 
grow  faint  and  cease.  Then  I  heard  my  Cousin  Dolly  slip 
;hrough  the  door  beneath  me,  and  she  gave  me  one  little  rap 
;o  the  floor  of  my  hiding-hole  as  she  went  beneath  it. 

I  did  not  hear  her  come  back;  for  Cousin  Tom's  footsteps 
were  loud  in  the  kitchen  passage;  and  the  men  too  were 
;ramping  in  and  upstairs,  while  the  maids  went  back  to  bed 
;hrough  the  kitchen;  and  then,  when  all  was  quiet  again  I 
leard  her  voice  speak  suddenly  in  a  whisper. 

"  You  can  open  now,  Cousin  Roger,  they  be  all  gone  away." 

I  unbolted  and  pushed  open  the  little  door  quickly  enough 
hen;  and  though  I  was  dazed  with  the  candlelight  the  first 
;hing  that  I  saw  was  Dolly's  face,  her  eyes  as  bright  as  stars 
with  merriment  and  laughter,  and  her  cheeks  flushed  to  rose, 
ooking  up  at  me. 


CHAPTER    X 

THAT  ride  of  mine  all  night  to  London  was  such  as  I  si 
never  forget,  not  from  any  outward  incident  that  happen< 
but  for  the  thoughts  that  went  continually  through  my  hea] 
and  brain;  and  I  do  not  suppose  that  I  spoke  twenty  woi 
to   James    all  night,  until   we   saw   about   seven   o'clock 
smoke  and  spires  of  London  against  the  morning  sky. 

So  soon  as  the  coast  was  clear,  and  the  last  sound  of  the 
horses  was  died  away  on  the  hill  beyond  the  Castle  Inn- 
for  the  men  rode  fast  and  hard  to  catch  me — I  was  out  am 
away  in  the  opposite  direction,  to  Puckeridge;  but  first  wd 
brought  the  horses  back  as  softly  as  we  could,  with  James 
(who,  like  a  good  servant  had  not  stirred  an  inch  from  his 
orders  through  all  the  tumult  which  he  had  heard  plainly 
enough  from  the  meadow),  round  to  the  head  of  the  little 
lane  that  leads  from  Hormead  Magna  into  Hare  Street. 
There  we  waited,  I  say,  all  four  of  us  in  silence,  until  we 
heard  the  hoofs  no  more;  and  then  James  and  I  mounted  on 
our  horses. 

I  had  said  scarcely  a  word  to  Dorothy,  nor  she  to  me;  for 
we  both  felt,  I  think,  that  there  was  no  great  need  of  words 
after  such  an  adventure,  and  that  it  had  knit  us  closer  to- 
gether than  any  words  could  do;  and,  besides,  that  was  no 
place  to  talk.  Yet  it  was  not  all  pure  joy;  for  here  was  the 
knowledge  which  we  both  had,  that  I  must  go  away,  and  that 
God  only  knew  when  I  should  get  back  again;  and,  whatever 
that  knowledge  was  to  Dorothy,  it  was  as  a  sword  for  pain 
to  me.  As  for  my  Cousin  Tom,  he  was  no  better  than  a 
dummy;  for  he  was  still  terrified  at  all  that  had  happened, 
and  at  the  magistrate's  words  to  him.  I  told  them  both,  while 
we  were  still  in  the  house,  that  I  must  go  to  London,  partly 
for  that  that  was  the  last  place  in  the  world  that  any  would 
look  for  me  in,  and  partly — (but  this  I  told  neither  of  them) 


ODDSFISH!  125 

—for  that  I  must  return  the  packet  to  His  Majesty:  and  I 
said  that  from  London  I  would  go  to  France  for  a  little,  until 
it  seemed  safe  for  me  to  get  back  again.  But  there,  waiting 
in  the  dark,  I  said  nothing  at  all;  but  before  I  mounted  I 
kissed  Dorothy  on  the  cheek;  and  her  cheek  was  wet,  but 
whether  with  the  feigned  tears  she  had  shed  in  the  house,  or 
with  tears  even  dearer  to  me  than  those,  I  do  not  know.  But 
I  dared  not  delay  any  longer,  for  fear  that  when  Mr.  Harris 
came  to  Barkway,  which  was  five  miles  away,  he  might  learn 
that  no  one  that  could  be  James  and  I  had  passed  that  way, 
and  so  return  to  search  again. 

The  clouds  had  rolled  away  by  now;  and  it  was  a  clear 
night  of  stars  until  they  began  to  pale  about  two  o'clock  in 
the  morning;  and  I  think  that  for  a  lover  who  desires  to  be 
alone  with  his  thoughts,  there  is  no  light  of  sun  or  moon  or 
candle  so  sweet  as  the  light  of  stars;  and  by  that  time  we 
were  beyond  Ware  and  coming  out  of  the  valley. 

It  was  solemn  to  me  to  watch  that  dawn  coming  up,  for 
it  was,  I  thought,  the  last  dawn  that  I  should  see  in  England 
for  a  while,  since  I  was  determined  but  to  see  the  King  in 
London,  and  push  straight  on  to  Dover  and  take  the  packet 
there:  and  it  was  a  solemn  dawn  too,  in  another  way,  for 
it  was  the  first  I  had  seen  since  I  had  been  certain  not  only 
that  I  loved  my  Cousin  Dolly  as  I  had  my  own  heart,  but 
that  she  loved  me  also;  and  that  is  a  great  day  for  a  lover. 

To  see  the  King  then,  and  to  push  on  to  Dover,  was  all 
that  I  had  rehearsed  to  myself;  but  Providence  had  one  more 
adventure  for  me  first,  that  was  one  of  the  saddest  I  have 
ever  had  in  all  my  life,  and  yet  not  all  sad. 

My  road  took  me  in  through  the  City  and  down  Grace- 
church  Street;  but  here  I  took  a  fancy  to  turn  to  the  right 
up  Leadenhall  and  Cornhill,  which  were  all  crowded  with 
folks,  though  at  first  I  did  not  think  why,  that  I  might  go 
by  Newgate  where  the  Jesuits  lay,  and  see  at  least  the  walls 
that  enclosed  those  saints  of  God;  for  I  was  pretty  bold  here, 
knowing  that  Mr.  Dangerfield  who  was  my  chief  peril,  was 


126  ODDSFISH! 

off  to  Harwich  to  find  me;  and  even  if  they  found  that  I  was 
not  gone  through  Barkway,  I  did  not  think  that  they  could 
catch  me,  for  their  horses  were  tired  and  ours  fresh;  and 
you  do  not  easily  get  a  change  of  a  dozen  horses,  or  anywhe 
near  it,  in  Hertfordshire  villages.  So  I  went  very  boldly, 
and  made  no  pretence  not  to  look  folks  in  the  face. 

After  we  had  passed  up  Cheapside  it  appeared  to  me  that 
the  streets  were  strangely  full,  and  that  all  the  folk  were 
going  the  same  way;  and  so  astonished  was  I  at  this — for 
no  suspicion  of  the  truth  came  to  me — that  I  bid  my  man 
ask  someone  what  the  matter  was.  When  he  came  up  with 
me  again  I  could  see  that  something  was  the  matter  indeed; 
and  so  it  was. 

"  Sir,"  he  said  in  a  low  voice,  so  that  none  else  could  hear, 
"  they  are  taking  the  prisoners  to  execution  this  morning." 

Then  there  came  upon  me  a  kind  of  madness — for,  although 
by  God's  blessing  it  brought  no  harm  to  me — yet  it  was  noth- 
ing else;  and  I  determined  to  go  to  Newgate  as  I  had  in- 
tended, and  at  least  see  them  brought  out.  For  here  was  to 
be  a  martyrdom  indeed — five  men,  all  priests,  all  Religious 
— suffering,  in  God's  eyes  at  least,  for  nothing  in  the  world 
but  the  Catholic  religion;  yes,  and  in  men's  too,  if  they  had 
known  all,  for  I  remembered  how  Mr.  Whitbread  had  re- 
fused to  escape,  while  he  had  yet  a  whole  day  for  it,  for  fear 
of  seeming  to  confess  his  guilt  and  so  bringing  scandal  upon 
the  Church  and  his  order.  From  such  a  martyrdom,  then, 
so  near  to  me,  how  could  I  turn  away?  and  I  determined,  if 
I  could,  to  speak  with  Father  Whitbread,  and  get  his  blessing. 

When  I  got  near  Newgate  the  press  grew  greater  every 
instant;  but  as  we  were  on  horseback  and  the  greater  number 
of  the  folks  on  foot,  we  got  through  them  at  last,  and  so  came 
to  the  foot  of  the  stairs  by  the  chapel,  where  the  sleds  were 
laid  ready  with  a  pair  of  horses  to  each.  I  had  never  before 
seen  an  execution  done  in  England,  so  I  observed  very  care- 
fully everything  that  was  to  be  seen.  The  sleds  were  three  in 
number,  and  were  each  made  flat  of  strong  wood  with  runners 
about  an  inch  high;  and  there  was  a  pair  of  horses  harnessed 


ODDSFISH!  127 

to  each,  with  a  man  to  guide  them.  I  got  close  to  these,  next 
behind  the  line  of  yellow  trainbandmen  who  kept  the  way 
open,  as  well  as  the  stairs.  We  were  in  the  shadow  here, 
in  a  little  court  of  which  the  gates  were  set  open,  but  the 
people  were  all  crowded  in  behind  the  trainbandmen  as  well 
as  in  the  street  outside,  and  from  them  rose  a  great  murmur- 
ing of  talk,  of  which  I  did  not  hear  a  word  spoken  in  sym- 
pathy, for  I  suppose  that  the  Catholics  there  held  their 
tongues. 

We  had  not  very  long  to  wait;  for,  by  the  appointment 
of  God,  I  was  come  just  to  time;  and  very  soon  the  door  at 
the  head  of  the  stairs  was  opened  and  men  began  to  come 
out.  I  saw  Mr.  Sheriff  How  among  them,  who  was  to  see 
execution  done;  but  I  did  not  observe  these  very  closely,  since 
I  was  looking  for  the  Jesuits. 

Mr.  Harcourt  came  first  into  the  sunlight  that  was  at  the 
head  of  the  steps;  and  at  the  sight  of  him  I  was  moved  very 
deeply;  for  he  was  an  old  man  with  short  white  hair,  very 
thick,  and  walked  with  a  stick  with  his  other  hand  in  some 
fellow's  arm.  A  great  rustle  of  talk  began  when  he  ap- 
peared, and  swelled  into  a  roar,  but  he  paid  no  attention  to 
it,  and  came  down,  smiling  and  looking  to  his  steps.  Next 
came  Mr.  Whitbread;  and  at  the  sight  of  him  I  was  as  much 
affected  as  by  the  old  man;  for  I  had  spoken  with  him  so 
often.  He  too  walked  cheerfully,  first  looking  about  him 
resolutely  as  he  came  out  at  all  the  faces  turned  up  to  his; 
and  at  him  too  was  even  a  greater  roaring,  for  the  people 
thought  him  to  be  at  the  head  of  all  the  conspiracy.  He  was 
pinioned  loosej^  with  cords,  but  not  so  that  he  could  not  lift 
his  hands  (and  so  were  the  other  three  that  followed),  and  a 
fellow  held  the  other  end  of  the  cord  in  his  hand.  Mr. 
Turner  and  Mr.  Gavan,  who  came  next,  I  had  never  seen 
before — (Mr.  Gavan  was  he  that  was  taken  in  the  stables  of 
the  Imperial  Ambassador — Count  Wallinstein) — they  came 
one  behind  the  other,  and  paid  no  more  attention  than  the 
others  to  the  noise  that  greeted  them;  and  last  of  all  came 
Mr.  Fenwick  who  had  entertained  me  so  often  in  Drury  Lane, 


128  ODDSFISH! 

looking  pinched,  I  thought,  with  his  imprisonment,  yet  as 
courageous  as  any.  Behind  him  came  a  minister  and  then 
the  tail  of  the  guard. 

As  I  saw  Mr.  Fen  wick  come  out  I  put  into  execution  a 
design  I  had  formed  just  now;  and  slipping  from  my  horse 
I  got  out  a  guinea  and  begged  in  a  low  voice  the  fellow  before 
me — for  I  was  just  by  the  sled  on  which  Mr.  Harcourt  and 
Mr.  Whitbread  would  be  bound — to  let  me  through  enough 
to  speak  a  word  with  him;  and  at  the  same  time  I  pressed 
the  guinea  into  his  hand:  so  he  stood  aside  a  little  and  let  me 
through,  on  my  knees,  enough  to  speak  to  Mr.  Whitbread. 
Mr.  Harcourt  was  already  laid  down  on  the  sled,  on  the  fur- 
ther side  from  me,  and  Mr.  Whitbread  was  getting  to  his 
knees  for  the  same  end.  As  he  turned  and  sat  himself  on 
the  sled  he  saw  me,  and  frowned  ever  so  little.  Then  he 
smiled  as  I  made  the  sign  of  the  cross  on  myself  and  he  made 
it  too  at  me,  and  I  saw  his  lips  move  as  he  blessed  me.  He 
was  not  an  arm's  length  from  me.  That  was  enough  for  me; 
and  I  stepped  back  again  and  mounted  my  horse  once  more. 
The  fellow  who  had  let  me  through  looked  at  me  over  his 
shoulder  once  or  twice,  but  said  nothing;  for  he  had  my 
guinea;  and,  as  for  myself  I  sat  content,  though  my  eyes 
pricked  with  tears,  for  I  had  had  the  last  blessing  (or  very 
nearly)  which  that  martyr  of  God  would  ever  give  in  this 
world. 

When  they  were  all  ready,  and  the  five  were  bound  on  the 
sleds,  with  their  heads  to  the  horses'  heels,  I  looked  to  see 
how  I  could  best  follow;  and  it  appeared  to  me  that  it  was 
best  for  me  to  keep  close  at  the  tail,  rather  than  to  attempt 
to  go  before.  When  the  word  was  given,  the  whips  cracked, 
and  the  sled  nearest  me,  with  Mr.  Whitbread  and  Mr.  Har- 
court upon  it,  began  to  move.  Then.1- came  Mr.  Turner  and 
Mr.  Gavan,  and  last  Mr.  Fenwick  all  by  himself.  The  min- 
ister whose  name  was  Samuel  Smith,  as  I  learned  later,  and 
who  was  the  Ordinary  of  Newgate,  followed  on  foot,  and 
behind  him  came  the  guards  to  close  them  all  in. 

My  fellow  in  front,  whom  I  had  bribed,  seemed  to  under- 


ODDSFISH!  129 

stand  what  I  wanted;  for  in  the  confusion  he  let  me  through, 
and  my  man  James  forced  his  way  after  me ;  so  that  we  found 
ourselves  with  three  or  four  other  gentlemen,  riding  immedi- 
ately behind  the  guards,  as  we  came  out  of  the  court  into 
the  street  outside;  and  so  we  followed,  all  the  way  to  Tyburn. 

That  adventure  of  mine  was  I  think  the  most  observable 
I  have  ever  had,  and,  too,  the  greatest  privilege  to  my  soul: 
for  here  was  I,  if  ever  any  man  did,  following  the  Cross  of 
Christ  in  the  passion  of  His  servants — such  a  Via  Crucis  as 
I  have  never  made  in  any  church — for  here  was  the  very 
road  along  which  so  many  hundreds  of  the  Catholic  martyrs 
had  passed  before;  and  at  the  end  was  waiting  the  very  death 
by  which  they  had  died.  I  know  that  the  martyrdom  of 
these  five  was  not  so  evident  an  one  as  that  of  others  before 
them,  since  those  died  for  the  Faith  directly,  and  these  for 
an  alleged  conspiracy;  yet  before  God,  I  think,  they  died  no 
less  for  Religion,  since  it  was  in  virtue  of  their  Religion  that 
they  were  accused.  So,  then,  I  followed  them. 

All  the  way  along  Holborn  we  went,  and  High  Holborn  and 
St.  Giles,  and  at  last  out  into  the  Oxford  Road  that  ran  then 
between  fields  and  gardens;  and  all  the  way  we  went  the 
crowds  went  with  us,  booing  and  roaring  from  time  to  time, 
and  others,  too,  from  the  windows  of  the  houses,  joined  in 
the  din  that  was  made.  At  first  the  way  was  nasty  enough, 
with  the  pails  that  folks  had  emptied  out  of  doors  into  the 
gutter;  but  by  the  time  we  reached  the  Oxford  Road  the  way 
was  dusty  only ;  so  that  the  five  on  the  sleds  were  first  nastied, 
and  then  the  dust  fell  on  them  from  the  horses'  heels.  I 
could  see  only  Mr.  Fenwick's  face  from  time  to  time;  he  kept 
his  eyes  closed  the  most  of  the  way,  and  was  praying,  I  think. 
Of  the  rest  I  could  see  nothing. 

It  was  a  terrible  sight  to  me  when  we  came  out  at  last  and 
saw  the  gallows — the  "  Deadly  Nevergreen  "  as  it  was  called 
— the  three  posts  with  the  beams  connecting  them — against 
the  western  sky.  The  ropes  were  in  place  all  in  one  line; 
and  a  cart  was  there  beneath  them.  A  cauldron,  too,  sent  up 
its  smoke  a  little  distance  away  beside  the  brook.  All  this 
space  was  kept  clear  again  by  guards;  and  there  were  some 


130  ODDSFISH! 

of  the  new  grenadiers  among  them,  in  their  piebald  livery, 
with  furred  caps;  and  without  the  guards  there  was  a  great 
crowd  of  people.  Here,  then,  was  the  place  of  the  Passion. 

The  confusion  was  so  great  as  the  sleds  went  within  the 
line  of  guards,  and  the  people  surged  this  way  and  that,  that 
I  was  forced,  somewhat,  out  of  the  place  I  had  hoped  to  get, 
and  found  myself  at  last  a  good  way  off,  with  a  press  of 
people  between  me  and  the  gallows;  so  that  I  could  see  noth- 
ing of  the  unbinding;  and,  when  they  spoke  later  could  not 
hear  all  that  they  said. 

It  was  not  long  before  they  were  all  in  the  cart  together, 
with  the  ropes  about  their  necks,  and  the  hangman  down  again 
upon  the  ground ;  and  as  soon  as  that  was  done,  a  great  silence 
fell  everywhere.  I  had  seen  Mr.  Gavan  say  something  to 
the  hangman,  and  he  answered  again;  but  I  could  not  hear 
what  it  was. 

Then,  when  the  silence  fell,  I  heard  Mr.  Whitbread  begin; 
and  the  first  sentence  was  clear  enough,  though  his  voice 
sounded  thin  at  that  distance. 

"  I  suppose,"  he  said,  "  it  is  expected  I  should  speak  some- 
thing to  the  matter  I  am  condemned  for,  and  brought  hither 
to  suffer." 

Then  he  went  on  to  say  how  he  was  wholly  guiltless  of 
any  plot  against  His  Majesty,  and  that  in  saying  so  he  re- 
nounced and  repudiated  any  pretended  pardons  or  dispensa- 
tions that  were  thought  to  have  been  given  him  to  swear 
falsely.  He  prayed  God  to  bless  His  Majesty,  and  denied 
that  it  was  any  part  of  Catholic  teaching  that  a  king  might 
be  killed  as  it  was  said  had  been  designed  by  the  alleged 
plot;  and  he  ended  by  recommending  his  soul  into  the  hands 
of  his  blessed  Redeemer  by  whose  only  merits  and  passion 
he  hoped  for  salvation.  He  spoke  very  clearly,  with  a  kind 
of  coldness. 

Father  Harcourt's  voice  was  not  so  clear,  as  he  was  an 
old  man;  but  I  heard  Mr.  Sheriff  How  presently  interrupt 
him.  (He  was  upon  horseback  close  beside  the  gallows.) 

"Or  of  Sir  Edmund  Berry  Godfrey's  death?"  he  asked. 


ODDSFISH!  131 

"  Did  you  not  write  that  letter  concerning  the  dispatch  of 
Sir  Edmund  Berry  Godfrey?'* 

"  No,  sir,"  cried  the  old  man  very  loud.  "  These  are  the 
words  of  a  dying  man.  I  would  not  do  it  for  a  thousand 
worlds." 

He  went  on  to  affirm  his  innocence  of  all  laid  to  his 
charge;  and  he  ended  by  begging  the  prayers  of  all  in  the 
communion  of  the  Roman  Church  in  which  he  himself  died. 

When  Mr.  Anthony  Turner  had  spoke  a  while,  again  Sheriff 
How  interrupted  him. 

"  You  do  only  justify  yourselves  here/'  he  said.  "  We  will 
not  believe  a  word  that  you  say.  Spend  your  time  in  prayer, 
and  we  will  not  think  your  time  too  long." 

But  Mr.  Turner  went  on  as  before,  affirming  his  entire  in- 
nocence; and,  at  the  end  he  prayed  aloud,  and  I  heard  every 
word  of  it. 

"  O  my  dear  Saviour  and  Redeemer,"  he  cried,  lifting  up 
his  eyes,  and  his  hands  too  as  well  as  he  could  for  the  cords, 
"  I  return  Thee  immortal  thanks  for  all  Thou  hast  pleased 
to  do  for  me  in  the  whole  course  of  my  life,  and  now  in  the 
hour  of  my  death,  with  a  firm  belief  of  all  things  Thou  hast 
revealed,  and  a  stedfast  hope  of  obtaining  everlasting  bliss. 
I  cheerfully  cast  myself  into  the  arms  of  Thy  mercy,  whose 
arms  were  stretched  on  the  Cross  for  my  redemption.  Sweet 
Jesus,  receive  my  spirit." 

Then  Mr.  Gavan  spoke  to  the  same  effect  as  the  rest,  but 
he  argued  a  little  more,  and  theologically  too,  being  a  young 
man;  and  spoke  of  Mariana  the  Jesuit  who  had  seemed  to 
teach  a  king-killing  doctrine;  but  this  sense  on  his  words  he 
repudiated  altogether.  He  too,  at  the  end,  commended  his 
soul  into  the  hands  of  God,  and  said  that  he  was  ready  to 
die  for  Jesus  as  Jesus  had  died  for  him. 

Mr.  Fenwick  had  scarcely  begun  before  Mr.  Sheriff  How 
broke  in  on  him,  and  argued  with  him  concerning  the  murder 
of  Sir  Edmund. 

"  As  for  Sir  Edmund  Berry  Godfrey,"  cried  Mr.  Fenwick, 
"  I  protest  before  God  that  I  never  saw  the  man  in  my  life." 


132  ODDSFISH! 

"  For  my  part/'  said  the  Sheriff,  "  I  am  of  opinion  that 
you  had  a  hand  in  it." 

"  Now  that  I  am  a  dying  man/'  said  the  priest,  "  do  you 
think  that  I  would  go  and  damn  my  soul?  " 

"  I  wish  you  all  the  good  that  I  can/'  said  Mr.  How,  "  but 
I  assure  you  I  believe  never  a  word  you  say." 

Well ;  he  let  him  alone  after  that ;  and  Mr.  Fenwick  finished, 
once  more  denying  and  renouncing  the  part  that  had  been 
assigned  to  him,  and  maintaining  his  innocence. 

There  followed  after  that  a  very  long  silence,  of  half  an 
hour,  I  should  think.  The  five  men  stood  in  the  cart  to- 
gether, with  their  eyes  cast  down;  and  each,  I  think,  absolved 
his  neighbour.  The  crowd  about  kept  pretty  quiet,  only 
murmuring  together;  and  cried  no  more  insults  at  them.  I, 
too,  did  my  best  to  pray  with  them  and  for  them;  but  my 
horse  was  restless,  and  I  had  some  ado  to  keep  him  quiet. 
After  a  good  while,  Mr.  Sheriff  How  spoke  to  them  again. 

"  Pray  aloud,  gentlemen,  that  we  may  join  with  you.  We 
shall  do  you  no  hurt  if  we  do  you  no  good." 

They  said  nothing  to  that;  and  he  spoke  again,  with  some 
sharpness. 

"  Are  you  ashamed  of  your  prayers  ?  " 

Still  they  did  not  speak;  and  he  turned  on  Father  Gavan. 

"  Why,  Mr.  Gavan,"  he  said,  "  it  is  reported  that  you  did 
preach  in  the  Quakers'  meeting-house." 

The  priest  opened  his  eyes. 

"  No,  sir,"  he  said,  "  I  never  did  preach  there  in  all  my 
life." 

It  was  very  solemn  and  dreadful  to  wait  there  while  they 
prayed ;  for  they  were  at  it  again  for  twenty  minutes,  I  should 
judge,  and  no  more  interruptions  from  Mr.  How,  who,  I  think, 
was  a  shade  uneasy.  It  was  a  clear  June  day,  beginning  to 
be  hot;  and  the  birds  were  chirping  in  the  trees  about  the 
place — for  at  times  the  silence  was  so  great  that  one  could 
hear  a  pin  fall,  as  they  say.  Now  I  felt  on  the  brink  of  hell 
— at  the  thought  of  the  pains  that  were  waiting  for  my 
friends,  at  the  memory  of  that  great  effusion  of  blood  that 


ODDSFISH!  133 

had  been  poured  out  and  of  the  more  that  was  to  follow. 
There  was  something  shocking  in  the  quietness  and  the  glory 
of  the  day — such  a  day  as  many  that  I  had  spent  in  the 
meadows  of  Hare  Street,  or  in  the  high  woods — faced  as  it 
was  with  this  dreadful  thing  against  the  blue  sky,  and  the 
five  figures  beneath  it,  like*figures  in  a  frieze,  and  the  smoke 
of  the  cauldron  that  drifted  up  continually  or  brought  a  reek 
of  tar  to  my  nostrils.  And,  again,  all  this  would  pass;  and 
I  would  feel  that  it  was  not  hell  but  heaven  that  waited;  and 
that  all  was  but  as  a  thin  veil,  a  little  shadow  of  death,  that 
hung  between  me  and  the  unimaginable  glories;  and  that  at 
a  word  all  would  dissolve  away  and  Christ  come  and  this 
world  be  ended.  So,  then,  the  minutes  passed  for  me:  I  said 
my  Paternoster  and  Ave  and  Credo  and  De  Profundis,  over 
and  over  again;  praying  that  the  passage  of  those  men  might 
be  easy,  and  that  their  deaths  might  be  as  sacrifices  both  for 
themselves  and  for  the  country.  I  was  beyond  fearing  for 
myself  now;  I  was  in  a  kind  of  madness  of  pity  and  longing. 
And,  at  the  last  I  saw  Mr.  Whitbread  raise  his  head  and  look 
at  the  Sheriff. 

There  rose  then,  as  he  made  a  sign,  a  great  murmur  from 
all  the  crowd.  I  had  thought  that  they  would  have  been  im- 
patient, but  they  were  not;  and  had  kept  silence  very  well; 
and  I  think  that  this  spectacle  of  the  five  men  praying  had 
touched  many  hearts  there.  Now,  however,  when  the  end 
approached,  they  seemed  to  awaken  again,  and  to  look  for 
it;  and  they  began  to  move  their  heads  about  to  see  what  was 
done,  so  that  the  crowd  was  like  a  field  of  wheat  when  the 
wind  goes  over  it. 

Then  fell  a  horrible  thing. 

There  broke  out  suddenly  a  cry,  that  was  like  a  trumpet 
suddenly  sounding  after  drums — of  a  different  kind  alto- 
gether from  the  murmuring  that  was  before.  I  turned  my 
head  whence  it  came,  and  saw  a  great  confusion  break  out 
in  the  outskirts  of  the  crowd.  Then  I  saw  a  horse's  head, 
and  a  man's  bare  head  behind  it,  whisk  out  from  the  trees  in 
the  direction  of  the  park,  and  come  like  a  streak  across  the 


ODDSFISH! 

open  ground.  As  the  galloper  came  nearer,  I  could  see  that 
he  was  spurring  as  if  for  life.  Then  once  more  a  great  roar 
broke  out  everywhere — 

"A  pardon !  a  pardon !  "     And  so  it  was. 

The  crowd  opened  out  to  let  the  man  through;  and  im- 
mediately he  was  at  the  gallows,  and  handing  the  paper  to 
the  sheriff.  A  roar  was  going  up  now  on  all  sides;  but  as 
in  dumb  play  I  could  see  that  Mr.  How  was  speaking  to  the 
priests  who  still  stood  as  before.  Mr.  Whitbread  shook  his 
head  in  answer  and  so  did  the  others.  Then  I  saw  Mr.  How 
make  a  sign;  the  hangman  came  forward  again  (for  he  had 
stepped  back  just  now)  ;  and  the  roar  died  suddenly  to  silence. 

Then  I  understood  that  the  pardon  was  offered  only  on 
conditions  which  these  men  could  not  accept — and  indeed  they 
turned  out  afterwards  to  be  that  they  should  confess  their 
guilt — and  my  anger  at  that  bitter  mockery  swelled  up  so 
that  I  could  scarcely  hold  myself  in.  But  I  did  so. 

Then  the  hangman  climbed  once  more  into  the  cart,  and, 
one  by  one  with  each,  he  adjusted  the  rope,  and  then  pulled 
down  the  caps  over  their  faces,  beginning  with  Father  Whit- 
bread  and  ending  with  Father  Fenwick.  Then  he  got  down 
from  the  cart  again;  and  the  murmur  rose  once  more  to  a 
roar. 

I  kept  my  eyes  fixed  upon  the  five,  caring  for  nothing 
else;  and  even  in  that  horrible  instant  my  lips  moved  in  the 
De  Profundis  for  their  souls*  easy  passage.  Then  I  saw 
old  Father  Harcourt  suddenly  stagger,  and  then  the  rest  stag- 
gered; and  I  saw  that  the  cart  was  being  pulled  away.  And 
then  all  five  of  them  were  in  the  air  together,  beginning  to 
twist  to  and  fro;  and  I  shut  my  eyes,  for  I  could  bear  no 
more. 


CHAPTER    XI 

IT  was  not  till  we  were  coming  down  St.  Martin's  Lane  on 
the  way  to  Whitehall,  that  my  thoughts  ran  clear  again,  and 
I  could  think  upon  the  designs  I  had  formed.  Until  then, 
it  seemed  to  me  that  I  rode  as  in  a  dream,  seeing  my  thoughts 
before  me,  but  having  no  power  to  look  within  or  consider 
myself.  One  thing  too  moved  before  me  whenever  I  closed 
my  eyes;  and  that  was  the  slow  twisting  frieze  of  the  five 
figures  against  the  blue  sky. 

I  spoke  suddenly  to  James  as  we  went. 

"  You  will  leave  me,"  I  said,  "  at  the  Whitehall  gate ;  and 
go  back  to  my  lodgings.  Procure  a  pair  of  good  horses  at 
the  Covent  Garden  inn;  and  say  we  will  leave  them  at  any 
place  they  name  on  the  Dover  Road." 

He  answered  that  he  would  do  so,  and  it  was  the  first  word 
he  had  spoken  since  we  had  left  Tyburn.  At  the  palace- 
doors  I  found  no  difficulty  in  admittance,  for  it  was  the  hour 
for  changing  guard,  and  a  lieutenant  that  was  known  to  me 
let  me  in  at  once;  so  I  went  straight  in  and  across  the  court, 
just  as  I  was,  in  my  dusty  clothes  and  boots,  carrying  noth- 
ing but  my  riding-whip.  My  mind  now  seethed  with  bitter 
thoughts  and  words,  now  fell  into  a  stupor,  and  I  rehearsed 
nothing  of  what  I  should  say  to  His  Majesty,  except  that 
I  was  done  with  his  service  and  was  then  going  to  France  for 
a  little,  unless  it  pleased  him  to  have  me  arrested  and  hanged 
too  for  nothing.  Then  I  would  give  him  back  his  papers  and 
begone. 

I  came  up  the  stairs  to  Mr.  Chiffinch's  lodgings,  just  as 
himself  came  out;  and  he  fell  back  a  step  when  he  saw  me. 

"  Why,  where  do  you  come  from  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  They  are  after  me,"  I  said  briefly.  "  But  that  is  not 
all." 

"Why,  what  else?"  said  he,  staring  at  me. 

"  I  am  come  from  seeing  the  martyrdoms,"  I  said. 

135 


136  ODDSFISH! 

"  For  God's  sake ! "  he  cried ;  and  caught  me  by  the 

arm  and  drew  me  in. 

"  Now  have  you  dined?"  he  said,  when  he  had  me  in  a 
chair. 

"  Not  yet." 

He  looked  at  me,  fingering  his  lip. 

"  I  suppose  you  have  come  to  see  His  Majesty?  "  he  said. 

I  told  him,  Yes:  no  more. 

"And  what  if  His  Majesty  will  not  see  you?"  he  asked, 
trying  me. 

"His  Majesty  will  see  me,"  I  said.  "I  have  something 
for  him." 

Again  he  hesitated.  I  think  for  a  minute  or  two  he  thought 
it  might  be  a  pistol  or  a  knife  that  I  had  for  the  King. 

"  If  I  bring  you  to  him,"  he  said,  "  will  you  give  me  your 
word  to  remain  here  till  I  come  for  you?  " 

"  Yes ;  I  will  do  that,"  I  said.  "  But  I  must  see  him  im- 
mediately." 

"Well—"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch.  And  then  without  a  word 
he  wheeled  and  went  out  of  the  room. 

I  do  not  know  how  long  I  sat  there;  but  it  may  have  been 
half  an  hour.  I  sat  like  a  dazed  man;  for  I  had  had  no 
sleep,  and  what  I  had  seen  drove  away  all  desire  for  it.  I 
sat  there,  staring,  and  pondering  round  and  round  in  circles, 
like  a  wheel  turning.  Now  it  was  of  Dorothy;  now  of  the 
Jesuits;  now  of  His  Majesty  and  Mr.  Chiffinch;  now  again, 
of  the  road  to  Dover,  and  of  what  I  should  do  in  France. 

There  came  at  last  a  step  on  the  stairs,  and  Mr.  Chiffinch 
came  in.  At  the  door  he  turned,  and  took  from  a  man  in 
the  passage,  as  I  suppose,  a  covered  dish,  with  a  spoon  in  it. 
Then  he  shut  the  door  with  his  heel,  and  came  forward  and 
set  the  dish  down. 

"  Dinner  first — "  he  said. 

"  I  must  see  His  Majesty,"  I  repeated. 

"  Why  you  are  an  obstinate  fellow,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said, 
smiling.  "  Have  I  not  given  you  my  word  you  shall  see 
him?" 

"Directly?" 


ODDSFISH!  137 

He  leaned  his  hands  on  the  table  and  looked  at  me. 

"Mr.  Mallock;  His  Majesty  will  be  here  in  ten  minutes' 
time.  I  told  him  you  must  eat  something  first;  and  he  said 
he  would  wait  till  then." 

The  stew  he  had  brought  me  was  very  savoury:  and  I  ate 
it  all  up ;  for  I  had  had  nothing  to  eat  since  supper  last  night ; 
and,  by  the  time  I  had  done,  and  had  told  him  very  briefly 
what  had  passed  at  Hare  Street,  I  felt  some  of  my  bewilder- 
ment was  gone.  It  is  marvellous  how  food  can  change  the 
moods  of  the  immortal  soul  herself;  but  I  was  none  the  less 
determined,  I  thought,  to  leave  the  King's  service;  for  I  could 
not  serve  any  man,  I  thought,  whose  hands  were  as  red  as  his 
in  the  blood  of  innocents. 

I  had  hardly  done,  and  was  blessing  myself,  when  Mr. 
Chiffinch  went  out  suddenly,  and  had  returned  before  I  had 
stood  up,  to  hold  the  door  open  for  the  King. 

He  came  in,  that  great  Prince, — (for  in  spite  of  all  I  still 
count  him  to  be  that,  in  posse  if  not  in  esse) — as  airy  and  as 
easy  as  if  nothing  in  the  world  was  the  matter.  He  was 
but  just  come  from  dinner,  and  his  face  was  flushed  a  little 
under  its  brown,  with  wine;  and  his  melancholy  eyes  were 
alight.  He  was  in  one  of  his  fine  suits  too,  for  to-day  was 
Saturday;  and  as  it  was  hot  weather  his  suit  was  all  of  thin 
silk,  puce-coloured,  with  yellow  lace;  and  he  carried  a  long 
cane  in  his  ringed  hand.  He  might  not  have  had  a  care  in 
the  world,  to  all  appearances;  and  he  smiled  at  me,  as  if  I 
were  but  just  come  back  from  a  day  in  the  country. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Mallock  " — he  said ;  and  put  out  his  hand  to 
be  kissed. 

Now  I  had  determined  not  to  kiss  his  hand — whatever  the 
consequences  might  be;  but  when  I  saw  him  like  that  I  could 
do  no  otherwise;  for  my  love  and  my  pity  for  him — (if  I  may 
use  such  a  word  of  a  subject  towards  his  Sovereign) — surged 
up  again,  which  I  thought  were  dead  for  ever;  so  I  was  on 
my  knees  in  an  instant,  and  I  kissed  his  brown  hand  and 
smelled  the  faint  violet  essence  which  he  used.  Then,  before 
I  could  say  anything,  he  had  me  down  in  a  chair^  and  himself 


138  ODDSFISH! 

in  another,  and  was  beginning  to  talk.  (Mr.  Chiffinch  was 
gone  out;  but  I  had  not  seen  him  go.) 

"  It  is  a  bloody  business/'  he  said  sorrowfully — "  a  very 
bloody  business.  But  what  else  could  be  done?  If  I  had 
not  consented,  I  would  be  no  longer  King;  but  off  on  my 
travels  again;  and  all  England  in  confusion.  However;  that 
is  as  it  may  be.  What  do  you  want  to  see  me  for,  Mr.  Mai- 
lock?" 

He  spoke  so  kindly  to  me,  and  with  such  feeling  too,  and 
his  condescension  seemed  to  me  so  infinite  in  his  coming  here 
to  wait  upon  me — (though  this  was  very  often  his  custom,  I 
think,  when  he  wished  to  see  a  man  or  a  woman  in  private) — 
that  I  determined  to  put  off  my  announcement  to  him  that  I 
could  no  longer  be  in  his  service.  So  first  I  drew  out  from 
my  waistcoat  the  packet  I  had  taken  from  under  my  shirt, 
and  put  there,  while  Mr.  Chiffinch  was  away. 

"  Sir ;  "  I  said,  "  I  have  brought  your  packet  back  again. 
I  have  had  no  word  from  you  as  to  its  delivery;  and  as  I 
must  go  abroad  to-day  I  dare  keep  it  no  longer.  Your 
Majesty,  I  fear,  must  find  another  messenger." 

His  face  darkened  for  an  instant  as  if  he  could  not  remem- 
ber something;  but  it  lightened  again  as  he  took  the  packet 
from  me,  and  turned  it  over. 

"  Why ;  I  remember,"  he  said.  "  It  was  sealed  within  and 
without,  was  it  not  ?  " 

That  seemed  to  me  a  strangely  irrelevant  thing  to  say  but 
I  told  him,  Yes  it  was. 

"  And  you  were  to  deliver  to — eh  ?  what  was  his  name  ?  " 

"  Your  Majesty  told  me  that  the  name  would  be  sent  to 
me." 

"Why,  so  I  did,"  said  the  King,  smiling.  "Well;  let  us 
open  the  packet  and  see  what  is  within." 

He  took  up  a  little  ivory  knife  that  was  on  the  table  by 
his  elbow,  and  slipped  it  beneath  the  folds  of  the  paper,  so 
as  to  burst  open  the  seals;  and  when  he  had  done  that,  there 
was  another  wrapper,  also  sealed.  This  seal  he  also  scrut- 
inized, still  smiling  a  little;  and  then  he  burst  that;  and  when 


ODDSFISH!  139 

he  had  taken  off  that  covering,  a  folded  piece  of  paper  fell 
out.  This  he  unfolded,  and  spread  flat  with  his  fingers;  and 
there  was  nothing  written  on  that  side ;  then  he  turned  it  over, 
and  shewed  me  how  there  was  nothing  written  on  that  either. 
So  the  message  I  had  borne  about  me,  was  nothing  in  the 
world  but  a  piece  of  blank  paper. 

I  drew  a  long  breath  when  I  saw  that ;  for  my  anger  surged 
up  at  the  way  I  had  been  fooled;  but  before  I  could  think 
of  anything  to  say,  the  King  spoke. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  you  have  done  very  well.  You 
understand  it  now,  eh  ?  " 

"No,  Sir;  I  do  not,"  I  said. 

"Why;  it  is  a  very  old  trick,"  went  on  His  Majesty,  "to 
see  if  a  messenger  will  be  faithful.  Your  folks  did  it  first, 
I  think,  in  Queen  Bess  her  reign;  so  as  to  risk  nothing.  And 
you  have  kept  it  all  this  while !  " 

"  I  obeyed  Your  Majesty's  commands,"  I  said. 

"  Well ;  and  you  have  delivered  it  to  the  right  person/' 
(He  tossed  the  papers  altogether  upon  the  table  and  turned 
to  me  again.)  "  Now,  sir;  I  had  no  real  doubt  of  you;  but 
others  were  not  so  sure;  and  I  consented  to  this  to  please 
them;  so  now  that  all  has  been  done,  I  can  use  you  more 
freely,  if  you  will:  I  have  more  than  one  mission  which  must 
be  done  for  me;  and  if  you  like  it,  Mr.  Mallock,  you  may 
have  the  first." 

"  Sir ;  I  must  go  to  France  immediately.  The  hunt  is  up, 
after  me,  too." 

"What  do  you  mean  by  that?"  he  said  sharply.  "The 
hunt!  What  is  that?" 

"I  would  not  weary  Your  Majesty  with  it  all;  but  the 
truth  is  that  the  fellow  Dangerfield,  who  came  after  me  here, 
came  yesterday  with  a  magistrate  and  near  a  dozen  men,  to 
Hare  Street  to  take  me.  I  eluded  them,  and  came  to  Lon- 
don." 

"  You  eluded  them!     How  was  that?  " 

Well;  I  told  him  as  shortly  as  I  could;  and  he  laughed 
outright  when  I  came  to  my  Cousin  Dolly's  part  in  it. 


140  ODDSFISH! 

"Why:  that  was  very  wittily  done!"  he  said.  "The 
minx!" 

I  did  not  much  like  that;  but  I  could  not  find  fault  with  the 
King. 

"  And  I  was  at  Tyburn  this  morning,  Sir/* 

"What!     At  Tyburn!" 

"  At  Tyburn,  Sir ;  and  I  was  so  sick  at  heart  at  what  I  saw 
there — five  of  Your  Majesty's  most  faithful  servants  mur- 
dered in  the  name  of  justice,  that  I  would  not  have  cared 
greatly  if  I  had  been  hanged  with  them." 

His  face  darkened  a  little;  but  not  with  anger  at  me. 

"  It  is  a  bloody  business,  as  I  have  said,"  he  said  gently. 
"  But  come ! — it  is  to  France  that  you  go." 

"  There  is  as  good  as  any  other  place,"  I  said,  "  so  I  be 
out  of  the  kingdom.  I  have  estates  there,  too." 

"  But  to  France  will  suit  very  well,"  said  the  King.  "  For 
it  is  to  France  that  I  designed  to  send  you.  I  have  plenty 
of  couriers  who  can  take  written  messages,  and  I  have  plenty 
of  men  who  can  talk — some  think,  too  much;  but  I  have  no 
one  at  hand  at  this  moment  whom  I  can  send  to  Court,  and 
who  will  acquit  himself  well  there,  and  that  can  take  a  mes- 
sage too — none,  that  is,  that  is  not  occupied.  What  do  you 
say,  Mr.  Mallock?  Would  a  couple  of  months  there  please 
you?" 

Here  then  was  the  time  for  my  announcement;  for  I  knew 
that  if  I  did  not  make  it  then  I  should  make  it  never. 

I  stood  up;  and  my  heart  beat  thickly. 

"  Sir,"  I  said.  "  Six  months  ago  I  would  have  run  any- 
where to  serve  you.  But  in  six  months  many  things  have 
happened;  and  I  cannot  serve  a  Prince  any  more  who  cannot 
keep  his  word  even  to  save  the  innocent.  I  had  best  be  gone 
again  to  Rome,  I  think,  and  see  what  they  can  give  me  there. 
I  am  sick  of  England,  which  I  once  loved  so  much." 

It  was  those  very  words — or  others  very  like  them  that  I 
said.  I  do  not  know  where  I  got  the  courage  to  say  them, 
for  my  life  lay  altogether  in  the  King's  hand:  a  word  from 
him,  or  even  silence,  and  I  should  have  kicked  my  heels  that 
night  in  Newgate,  and  a  week  or  two  later  in  the  air,  on  a 


ODDSFISH!  141 

charge  of  being  in  with  the  Jesuits  in  their  plot.     Yet  I  said 
them;  for  I  could  say  nothing  else. 

His  Majesty's  face  turned  black  as  thunder  as  I  began; 
and  when  I  was  done  it  was  all  stiff  with  pride. 

"  That  is  your  mind,  Mr.  Mallock,  then  ?  "  he  said. 

"  That  is  my  mind,  Sir/'  I  answered  him. 

And  then  a  change  went  over  his  face  once  more.  God 
knows  why  he  relented;  I  think  it  may  have  been  that  he  had 
somewhat  of  a  fancy  for  me,  and  remembered  how  I  had 
pleased  him  and  tried  to  serve  him.  And  when  he  spoke,  it 
was  very  gently  indeed. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  those  are  very  brave  words.  But 
I  think  they  are  not  worthy  of  a  man  of  your  parts.  For 
consider;  were  you  not  sent  here  by  the  Holy  Father  to  help 
a  poor  sinner  who  had  need  of  it?  And  is  it  Catholic  charity 
to  leave  the  sinner  because  of  his  sins  ?  " 

I  said  nothing  to  that;  for  I  was  all  confounded  at  his 
mildness.  I  suppose  I  had  braced  myself  for  something  very 
different. 

"  It  is  true  I  am  not  a  Catholic ;  but  were  you  not  sent  here, 
in  answer  to  my  entreaty,  that  you  might  help  to  make  it 
easy  for  me  to  become  one?  Is  it  apostolic,  then,  to  run 
away  so  soon " 

"If  Your  Majesty,"  I  burst  out,  "would  but  shew  some 
signs " 

He  lifted  his  eyebrows  at  that. 

"  Signs !  In  these  days  ?  "  he  said.  "  Why,  I  should  hang, 
myself,  in  a  week's  time!  Are  these  the  days,  think  you,  to 
shew  Catholicism?  Why;  do  you  not  think  that  my  own 
heart  is  not  near  broken  with  all  I  have  had  to  do  ?  " 

He  spoke  with  extraordinary  passion;  for  that  was  his  way 
when  he  was  very  deeply  moved  (which,  to  tell  the  truth, 
however,  was  not  very  often).  But  I  have  never  known  a 
man  so  careless  and  indolent  on  the  surface,  who  had  a  softer 
heart  than  His  Sacred  Majesty,  if  it  could  but  be  touched. 

"  The  blood  of  God's  priests/'  he  cried,  holding  the  arms 
of  his  chair  so  that  it  shook — "  their  blood  cries  from  the 
ground  against  me !  Do  you  think  I  do  not  know  that  ?  Yet 


ODDSFISH! 

what  can  I  do?  I  am  tied  and  bound  by  circumstance.  I 
could  not  save  them;  and  in  the  attempt  I  could  only  lose 
my  own  life  or  throne  as  well.  The  people  are  mad  for  their 
blood!  Why  Scroggs  himself  said  in  public  at  one  of  the 
trials,  that  even  the  King's  Mercy  could  not  come  between 
them  and  death.  And  it  is  at  this  moment,  then,  that  the 
servants  to  whom  I  had  looked  to  help  me,  leave  me!  Go  if 
you  will,  Mr.  Mallock,  and  save  your  own  soul.  You  shall 
have  a  safe  passage  to  France;  but  never  again  speak  to  me 
of  Catholic  charity." 

Every  word  that  he  said  rang  true  in  my  heart.  It  was 
true  indeed,  as  he  said,  that  no  effort  of  his  could  have  saved 
the  men,  and  he  could  only  have  perished  himself.  There 
were  scores  of  men,  even  among  his  own  guards,  I  have  no 
doubt,  who  would  have  killed  him  if  he  had  shewn  at  this 
time  the  least  mercy,  or  the  least  inclination  towards  Catholi- 
cism. His  back  was  to  the  wall;  he  fought  not  for  himself 
only,  but  for  Monarchy  itself  in  England.  There  would  have 
been  an  end  of  all,  and  we  back  again  under  the  tyranny  of 
the  Commonwealth  if  he  had  acted  otherwise;  or  as  I  had 
thought  that  he  would. 

He  had  scarcely  finished  when  I  was  on  my  knees  before 
him. 

"  Sir,"  I  cried,  "  I  am  heartily  ashamed  of  myself.  I  ask 
pardon  for  all  that  I  have  said.  I  will  go  to  France  or  to 
anywhere  else;  and  will  think  myself  honoured  by  it,  and 
by  the  forgiveness  of  Your  Majesty.  Sir;  let  me  be  your 
servant  once  more." 

The  passion  was  gone  from  his  face  as  he  looked  down 
on  me  there;  and  he  was,  as  before,  the  great  Prince,  with 
his  easy  manner  and  his  unimaginable  charm. 

"  Why  that  is  very  well  said,"  he  answered  me.  "  And 
I  shall  be  glad  to  have  your  services,  Mr.  Mallock.  Mr. 
Chiffinch  will  give  you  all  instructions." 

"  That  was  a  very  bold  speech,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch  pres- 
ently, when  the  King  was  gone  away  again — "  which  you 
made  to  His  Majesty." 


ODDSFISH!  143 

"  Why,  did  you  hear  it  ?  "  I  cried. 

He  smiled  at  me. 

"  Why,  yes/'  he  said.  "  I  was  behind  the  open  door  just 
within  the  further  chamber.  I  was  not  sure  of  you,  Mr.  Mai- 
lock,  neither  was  the  King  for  that  matter." 

"  Sure  of  me  ?  " 

"  I  thought  perhaps  we  might  have  a  real  threatener  of 
the  King's  life,  at  last,"  he  said.  "  You  had  a  very  wild 
look  when  you  came  in,  Mr.  Mallock." 

"Yet  His  Majesty  came;  and  unarmed!"  I  cried:  "and 
as  happy  as — as  a  King !  " 

"Why,  what  else?"  asked  Mr.  Chiffinch. 

Our  eyes  met;  and  for  the  first  time  I  understood  how 
even  a  man  like  this,  with  his  pandering  to  the  King's  pleas- 
ures, and  his  own  evil  life,  could  have  as  much  love  and  ad- 
miration for  such  a  man,  as  I  myself  had. 


PART     II 


CHAPTER     I 

I  DO  not  mean  to  set  down  in  this  volume  all  that  befell  me 
during  the  years  that  I  was  in  the  King's  service,  partly  be- 
cause that  would  make  too  large  a  book,  but  chiefly  because 
there  were  committed  to  me  affairs  of  which  this  French  one 
was  the  first,  of  which  I  took  my  oath  never  to  speak  without 
leave.  Up  to  the  present  in  England  nothing  had  been  said 
to  me  which  would  be  private  twenty  years  afterwards;  I 
take  no  shame  at  all  at  revealing  what  little  I  was  able  to  do 
for  the  King  personally  in  England — (except  perhaps  in  one 
or  two  points  which  must  not  be  spoken  of) — nor  of  my  ad- 
ventures and  my  endeavours  to  be  of  service  to  those  who 
were  one  with  me  in  religion;  but  of  the  rest,  the  least  said 
the  soonest  mended.  So  the  best  plan  which  I  can  think  of 
is  to  leave  out  on  every  occasion  all  that  passed,  or  very 
nearly  all,  when  I  was  out  of  my  country,  both  in  France 
and  Rome,  for  I  went  away — on  what  I  may  call  secret  serv- 
ice— three  times  altogether  between  my  first  coming  and  the 
King's  death.  It  is  enough  to  say  that  this  time  I  was  in 
Paris  about  three  months,  and  in  Normandy  one;  and  that  I 
had  acquitted  myself,  so  far,  to  His  Majesty's  satisfaction.* 

I  returned  to  London  then  on  the  night  of  the  sixteenth 
of  November,  of  the  same  year;  and  I  brought  with  me  a 
letter  to  the  King  from  a  certain  personage  in  France. 

Now  to  one  living  in  a  Catholic  country  the  rumours  that 
come  from  others  not  so  happy,  are  either  greatly  swollen 
and  exaggerated  in  his  mind,  or  thought  nothing  of.  It  was 
the  latter  case  with  me.  I  was  in  high  favour  on  both  sides 
of  the  Channel;  and  this,  I  suppose  made  me  think  little  of 
the  troubles  in  my  own  country :  so  when  I  and  James  reached 

*  Plainly  this  business  of  Mr.  Mallock  had  some  connection  with 
Charles'  perpetual  intrigues  with  France,  for  Louis'  support  of  him. 
At  this  time  Charles'  intrigues  were  a  little  unsuccessful;  so  it  may  be 
supposed  that  without  Mr.  Mallock  they  would  have  been  even  worse. 

147 


148  ODDSFISH! 

London  late  in  the  evening,  after  riding  up  from  Kent,  I  went 
straight  to  Whitehall,  as  bold  as  brass  to  demand  to  see  Mr. 
Chiffinch.  We  had  ridden  fast,  and  had  talked  with  but  very 
few  folks,  and  these  ignorant;  so  that  I  knew  nothing  of  what 
impended,  and  was  astonished  that  the  sentinels  at  the  gate 
eyed  me  so  suspiciously. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  the  younger,  to  whom  I  had  addressed 
myself,  "  and  what  might  your  business  with  Mr.  Chiffinch 
be?" 

I  had  learned  by  now  not  to  quack  gossip  or  to  parley  with 
underlings;  so  I  answered  him  very  shortly. 

"  Then  fetch  the  lieutenant/'  I  said;  and  sat  back  on  my 
horse  like  a  great  person. 

When  the  lieutenant  came  he  was  one  I  had  never  seen 
before,  nor  he  me;  and  he  too  asked  me  what  I  wanted  with 
Mr.  Chiffinch. 

"  Lord,  man!  "  I  cried,  for  I  was  weary  with  my  journey, 
and  a  little  impatient.  "  Do  you  think  I  shall  blurt  out 
private  business  for  all  the  world  to  hear?  Send  me  under 
guard  if  you  will — a  man  on  each  side — so  you  send  me." 

He  did  not  do  that  (for  I  think  he  thought  that  I  might  be 
some  important  personage  from  my  way  with  him),  but  he 
would  not  let  James  come  in  too;  and  he  said  a  man  must 
go  with  me  to  shew  me  the  way. 

"Or  I,  him,"  I  said.  "However;  let  it  be  so;"  and  I 
told  James  to  ride  on  to  the  lodgings,  and  make  all  ready  for 
me  there. 

Now  I  had  heard  in  France  of  the  events  in  the  kingdom; 
but  as  they  had  not  greatly  affected  Catholics,  and,  if  any- 
thing, had  even  helped  them,  I  was  in  no  great  state  of  mind. 
Within  a  week  of  my  getting  to  Paris  the  news  came  of  how 
the  Duke  of  Monmouth  had  been  sent  with  an  army  to  Scot- 
land and  had  trounced  the  Highlanders  (who  prayed  and 
preached  when  they  should  have  fought)  at  Bothwell  Bridge 
on  the  river  Clyde;  and  of  the  punishment  he  inflicted  on 
them  afterwards;  though  this  was  nothing  to  what  Dr. 
Sharpe  (who  had  been  killed  by  them  in  May)  or  Lauder- 
dale  would  have  done  to  them,  Of  Catholic  fortunes  there 


ODDSFISH!  149 

was  not  a  great  deal  of  bad  news,  and  some  good:  Sir  George 
Wakeman,  with  three  Benedictines,  was  acquitted  of  any  de- 
sign to  murder  the  King;  and  Mr.  Kerne,  a  priest,  had  been 
acquitted  at  Hereford  of  the  charge  under  27  Elizabeth — 
that  famous  statute,  still  in  force,  that  forbade  any  priest 
that  had  received  Orders  beyond  the  seas,  to  reside  in  Eng- 
land. On  the  other  hand,  in  the  provinces,  a  few  had  suf- 
fered; of  whom  I  remember,  on  the  Feast  of  the  Assumption 
a  Franciscan  named  Johnson,  a  man  of  family,  had  been 
condemned  at  Worcester;  and  Mr.  Will  Plessington  at  Ches- 
ter: and  these  were  executed.  Since  then,  no  deaths  that  I 
had  heard  of,  had  taken  place  in  England  for  such  causes: 
and  affairs  seemed  pretty  quiet. 

I  was  all  unprepared  then  for  the  news  I  had  from  Mr. 
Chiffinch,  as  soon  as  he  had  greeted  me,  and  paid  me  com- 
pliments on  the  way  I  had  done  my  French  business. 

"You  are  come  just  in  time,"  he  said  ruefully.  "  We  are 
to  have  a  great  to-do  to-morrow,  I  hear." 

I  asked  him  what  that  might  be,  lolling  in  my  chair,  for 
I  was  stiff  with  riding. 

"  Why  it  is  your  old  friend  Dangerfield,  I  hear,  who  is 
the  thorn  in  our  pillow  now.  He  hath  first  feigned  to  dis- 
cover a  Covenanting  plot  against  His  Majesty;  and  then 
turned  it  into  a  Popish  one.  There  has  been  much  foolish 
talk  about  a  meal-tub,  and  papers  hidden  in  it,  and  such- 
like: and  now  there  is  to  be  a  great  procession  of  malcon- 
tents to-morrow,  to  burn  the  Pope  and  the  Devil  and  Sir 
George  Jeffreys,  and  God  knows  who,  at  Temple  Bar.  But 
that  is  not  all." 

"Why,  what  else?"  I  asked.  "And  why  is  not  the  pro- 
cession forbidden  ?  " 

"Who  do  you  think  is  behind  it  all?"  he  said.  "Why; 
no  one  less  than  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  himself.  Dangerfield 
is  but  one  of  his  tools.  And  that  is  not  all." 

"Lord!"  said  I.  "What  a  troublous  country!"  (I 
spoke  lightly,  for  I  did  not  understand  the  weight  of  all  these 
events.)  "What  else  is  the  matter?" 

"  It  is  the  Duke  of  Monmouth,"  he  said^  "  who  is  the  pawn. 


150  ODDSFISH! 

in  Shaftesbury's  game.  My  Lord  would  give  the  world  to 
have  the  Duke  declared  legitimate,  and  so  oust  James.  His 
Grace  of  Monmouth  is  something  of  a  popular  hero  now,  after 
his  doings  in  Scotland,  and  most  of  all  since  he  stands  for 
the  Protestant  Religion.  He  hath  dared  to  strike  out  the 
bar  sinister  from  his  arms  too;  and  goeth  about  the  country 
as  if  he  were  truly  royal.  So  His  Royal  Highness  is  gone 
back  to  Scotland  again  in  a  great  fury;  and  His  Majesty  is 
once  again  in  a  strait  betwixt  two,  as  the  Scriptures  say. 
There  is  his  Catholic  brother  on  the  one  side;  and  there  is 
this  young  spark  of  a  Protestant  bastard  on  the  other.  We 
shall  know  better  to-morrow  how  the  feeling  runs.  His 
Majesty  was  taken  very  ill  in  August;  and  I  am  not  surprised 
at  it." 

This  was  all  very  heavy  news  for  me.  I  had  hoped  in 
France  that  most  at  least  of  the  Catholic  troubles  were  over, 
and  now,  here  again  they  were,  in  a  new  form.  I  sighed 
aloud. 

"Heigho!"  I  said.  "But  this  is  all  beyond  me,  Mr. 
Chiffinch.  I  had  best  be  gone  into  the  country." 

"  I  think  you  had,"  he  said  very  seriously.  "  You  can  do 
nothing  in  this  place." 

I  was  very  glad  when  I  heard  him  say  that;  for  I  had 
thought  a  great  deal  of  Hare  Street,  and  of  my  Cousin 
Dolly  there ;  and  it  was  good  news  to  me  to  hear  that  I  might 
soon  see  her  again. 

"  But  I  must  see  the  sight  to-morrow,"  I  said ;  and  soon 
after  that  I  took  my  leave. 

It  was  a  marvellous  sight  indeed,  the  next  evening.  I  went 
to  see  a  Mr.  Martin  in  the  morning,  that  lived  in  the  Strand, 
a  Catholic  bookseller,  and  got  leave  from  him  to  sit  in  his 
window  from  dinner  onwards,  that  I  might  see  the  show. 

It  was  about  five  o'clock  that  the  affair  began;  and  the 
day  was  pretty  dark  by  then.  A  great  number  of  people 
began  to  assemble  little  by  little,  up  Fleet  Street  on  the  one 
side,  the  Strand  on  the  other,  and  down  Chancery  Lane  in 


ODDSFISH!  151 

the  midst;  for  it  was  announced  everywhere,  and  even  by 
criers  in  some  parts,  that  the  procession  would  take  place 
and  would  end  at  Temple  Bar.  My  Lord  Shaftesbury,  who 
had  lately  lost  the  presidency  of  the  Council,  had  rendered 
himself  irreconcilable  with  the  Duke  of  York,  and  his  only 
hope  (as  well  as  of  others  with  him)  lay  in  ruining  His  High- 
ness. All  this,  therefore,  was  designed  to  rouse  popular 
feeling  against  the  Duke  and  the  Catholic  cause.  So  this 
was  my  welcome  home  again ! 

It  was  strange  to  watch  the  folks  assembling,  and  the 
gradual  kindling  of  the  flambeaux.  In  the  windows  on  either 
side  of  the  street  were  set  candles;  and  a  line  of  coaches  was 
drawn  up  against  the  gutter  on  the  further  side.  But  still 
more  strange  and  disconcerting  were  the  preparations  already 
made  to  receive  the  procession.  An  open  space  was  kept  by 
fellows  with  torches  to  the  east  of  the  City  Gate;  and  here, 
looking  towards  the  City,  with  her  back  to  the  Gate,  close 
beside  the  Pillory,  stood  Queen  Bess  in  effigy,  upon  a  pedes- 
tal, as  it  were  a  Protestant  saint  in  her  shrine;  for  the  day 
had  been  chosen  on  account  of  its  being  the  day  of  her  ac- 
cession and  of  Queen  Mary's  death.  She  was  set  about  with 
gilded  laurel-wreaths,  and  bore  a  gilded  sceptre;  and  beneath 
her,  like  some  sacrificial  fire,  blazed  a  great  bonfire,  roaring 
up  to  heaven  with  its  sparks  and  smoke.  Half  a  dozen 
masked  fellows,  in  fantastic  dresses,  tended  the  bonfire  and 
replenished  the  flambeaux  that  burned  about  the  effigy.  In- 
deed it  was  strangely  like  some  pagan  religious  spectacle — 
the  goddess  at  the  entrance  of  her  temple  (for  the  gate  looked 
like  that)  ;  and  the  resemblance  became  more  marked  as  the 
ceremonies  were  performed  which  ended  the  show.  A  Catholic 
might  well  be  pardoned  for  retorting  "  Idolatry,"  and  saying 
that  he  preferred  Mary  Queen  of  Heaven  to  Bess  Queen  of 
England. 

It  was  from  Moorfields  that  the  procession  came,  and  it 
took  a  good  while  to  come.  But  I  was  entertained  enough 
by  the  sight  of  all  the  people,  to  pass  the  time  away.  A 
number  of  gentlefolks  opposite  to  my  window  sat  on  plat- 
forms, all  wrapped  up  in  furs,  and  some  of  them  masked, 


152  ODDSFISH! 

with  a  few  ministers  among  them;  and  I  make  no  doubt  that 
Dr.  Tonge  was  there,  though  I  did  not  see  him.  But  I  did 
see  a  merry  face  which  I  thought  was  Mistress  Nell  Gwyn's; 
and  whether  it  was  she  or  not  that  I  saw,  I  heard  afterwards 
that  she  had  been  there,  to  His  Majesty's  great  displeasure. 

And  in  the  same  group  I  saw  Mr.  Killigrew's  face — that 
had  been  page  to  Charles  the  First,  and  came  back  to  be 
page  to  his  son — for  his  grotesque  and  yet  fine  face  was  un- 
mistakable; the  profligate  fop  Sir  George  Etheredge,  gambler 
and  lampooner,  with  drink  and  the  devil  all  over  him;  solemn 
Thomas  Thynne,  murdered  two  years  afterwards,  for  a 
woman's  sake,  by  Count  Conigsmark,  who  was  hanged  for 
it  and  lay  in  great  state  in  a  satin  coffin;  and  last,  my  Lord 
Dover,  with  his  great  head  and  little  legs,  looking  at  the 
people  through  a  tortoiseshell  glass.  The  Court,  or  at  least, 
some  of  it,  enjoyed  itself  here,  in  spite  of  the  character  of 
the  demonstration.  Meanwhile  out  of  sight  a  great  voice 
shouted  jests  and  catchwords  resonantly  from  time  to  time, 
to  amuse  the  people;  and  the  crowd,  that  was  by  now  packed 
everywhere  against  the  houses,  upon  the  roofs  and  even  up 
Chancery  Lane,  answered  his  hits  with  roaring  cheers.  I 
heard  the  name  of  the  Duke  of  Monmouth  several  times;  and 
each  time  it  was  received  with  acclamation.  Once  the  Duke 
of  York's  was  called  out;  and  the  booing  and  murring  at  it 
were  great  enough  to  have  daunted  even  him.  (But  he  was 
in  Scotland  now — too  far  away  to  hear  it — and  seemed  like 
to  remain  there.)  And  once  Mrs.  Gwyn's  name  was  shouted, 
and  something  else  after  it;  and  there  was  a  stir  on  the  plat- 
form where  I  thought  I  had  seen  her ;  and  then  a  great  burst 
of  cheering;  for  she  was  popular  enough,  in  spite  of  her  life, 
for  her  Protestantism.  (It  was  not  works,  they  hated, 
thought  I  to  myself,  but  Faith!) 

The  first  that  I  knew  of  the  coming  of  the  procession  was 
the  sound  of  fifes  up  Fleet  Street;  and  a  great  jostling  and 
roaring  that  followed  it  by  those  who  strove  to  see  better. 
I  was  distracted  for  an  instant  by  a  dog  that  ran  out  sud- 
denly, tail  down,  into  the  open  space  and  disappeared  again 
yelping.  When  I  turned  again  the  head  of  the  procession 


ODDSFISH!  153 

was  in  sight,  coming  into  view  round  the  house  that  was  next 
to  Mr.  Martin's. 

First,  between  the  torches  that  lined  the  procession  through 
all  its  length,  came  a  band  of  fifers,  very  fine,  in  scarlet  tunics 
and  stiff  beaver-hats;  shrilling  a  dirge  as  they  walked;  and 
immediately  behind  them  a  funeral  herald  in  black,  walking 
very  upright  and  stiff,  with  a  bell  in  one  hand  which  he  rang, 
while  he  cried  out  in  a  great  mournful  bellowing  voice: 

"  Remember  Justice  Godfrey !  Remember  Justice  God- 
frey; "  and  then  pealed  upon  his  bell  again.  (It  was  pretty 
plain  from  that  that  we  Catholics  were  to  bear  the  brunt  of 
all,  as  usual!) 

Behind  him  came  a  terrible  set  of  three.  In  the  midst, 
led  by  a  groom,  was  a  great  white  horse,  with  bells  on  his 
bridle  sounding  as  he  came;  and  on  his  back  an  effigy,  dressed 
in  riding  costume,  with  boots,  and  with  white  riding  gloves 
and  cravat  all  spattered  over  with  blood.  His  head  lolled 
on  his  shoulders,  as  if  the  neck  were  broken,  turning  a  pale 
bloody  face  from  side  to  side,  with  fallen  jaw  and  great  roll- 
ing melancholy  eyes;  for  this  was  of  Justice  Godfrey.  Be- 
side him  walked  a  man  in  black,  that  held  him  fast  with 
one  hand,  and  had  a  dripping  dagger  in  the  other — to  repre- 
sent a  Jesuit.  This  was  perhaps  the  worst  of  all;  but  there 
was  plenty  more  to  come. 

There  followed,  after  Justice  Godfrey,  a  pardoner,  dressed 
as  a  priest,  in  a  black  cope  sown  all  over  with  death's  heads, 
waving  papers  in  his  hands,  and  proclaiming  indulgences  to 
all  Protestant-killers,  so  loud  that  he  might  be  heard  at 
Charing  Cross;  and  next  behind  him  a  fellow  carrying  a 
silver  cross,  that  shone  very  fine  in  the  red  light  of  the  bon- 
fire and  the  flambeaux,  and  drew  attention  to  what  came 
after.  For  behind  him  came  eight  Religious,  Carmelites  and 
Franciscans,  in  the  habits  of  their  Orders,  going  two  by  two 
with  clasped  hands  and  bowed  heads  as  if  they  prayed;  and 
after  them  that  which  was,  in  intention,  the  centre  of  all — 
for  this  was  a  set  of  six  Jesuits  in  black,  with  lean  painted 
faces,  each  bearing  a  dagger  which  he  waved,  gnashing  his 
teeth  and  grinning  on  the  folks. 


154  ODDSFISH! 

There  had  been  enough  roaring  and  cheering  before;  but 
at  this  sight  the  people  went  near  mad;  and  I  had  thought 
for  an  instant  that  the  very  actors  would  be  torn  in  pieces 
for  the  sake  of  the  parts  they  played. 

Mr.  Martin  and  his  wife  were  close  beside  me  in  the  win- 
dow; and  I  turned  to  them. 

"  We  are  fortunate  not  to  be  Jesuits/'  I  said,  "  and  known 
to  be  such.  Our  lives  would  not  be  worth  a  pin." 

He  nodded  at  me  very  gravely:  and  I  saw  how  white  was 
his  wife's  face. 

When  I  looked  again  a  very  brilliant  group  was  come  into 
view — four  bishops  in  rochets  and  violet,  with  large  pectoral 
crosses.  These  walked  very  proud  and  prelatical,  looking 
disdainfully  at  the  people  who  roared  at  the  burlesque;  and 
behind  them,  again,  four  more  in  gilded  mitres.  (I  do  not 
know  what  this  generation  knew  of  Catholic  bishops;  for  not 
one  in  a  thousand  of  them  had  ever  set  eyes  on  one.) 

After  a  little  space  followed  six  cardinals  in  scarlet,  very 
gorgeous,  with  caps  and  trains  of  the  same  colour.  These 
swept  along,  looking  to  neither  right  nor  left,  followed  by  a 
lean  man  in  a  black  silk  suit  and  gown,  skulking  and  bending, 
bearing  a  glass  retort  in  one  hand,  and  a  phial,  with  a  label 
flying  from  it,  in  the  other.  On  this  was  written,  I  heard 
afterwards,  the  words  "  Jesuit-Powder " ;  but  I  could  not 
read  it  from  where  I  was. 

Then  at  last  the  tail  of  the  procession  began  to  come  into 
view. 

Two  priests,  in  great  white  copes,  bore  aloft  each  a  tall 
cross;  and  behind  them  I  could  see  through  the  flare  and 
reek  of  the  torches,  a  vast  scarlet  chair  advancing  above  the 
heads  of  the  people.  It  was  borne  on  a  platform,  and  was 
embroidered  all  over  with  gold  and  silver  bullion.  Upon 
the  platform  itself  were  four  boys,  two  and  two,  on  either 
side  of  the  throne,  in  red  skull-caps  and  cassocks  and  short 
white  surplices,  each  with  a  tall  red  cross  held  in  the  inner 
hand,  and  a  bloodstained  dagger  in  the  other,  which  they 
waved  now  and  again.  Upon  the  throne  itself  sat  a  huge 
effigy.  It  was  dressed  in  a  scarlet  robe,  embroidered  like 


ODDSFISH!  155 

the  throne;  its  feet  in  gold  embroidered  slippers  were  thrust 
forward  on  a  cushion;  its  hands  in  rich  gloves  were  clasped 
to  the  arms  of  the  chair;  and  its  grinning  waxen  face,  very 
pale,  was  surmounted  by  a  vast  tiara  on  which  were  three 
crowns,  one  above  the  other.  Round  the  neck  hung  a  gold 
cross  and  chain;  and  a  pair  of  great  keys  hung  down  on  one 
side.  A  devil  in  tight  fitting  black,  with  a  masked  face,  and 
long  sprouting  nails,  with  a  tail  hung  behind  him,  and  two 
tall  horns  on  his  head,  rolled  his  eyes  from  side  to  side,  and 
whispered  continually  into  the  ear  of  the  effigy  from  behind 
the  throne.  A  great  mob  of  people  and  torches  and  guards 
came  shouting  on  behind.  And  when  I  saw  that,  a  kind  of 
despair  came  upon  me.  If  that,  thought  I,  is  what  my 
countrymen  think  of  Catholics  and  the  Holy  Father,  what 
use  to  strive  any  more  for  their  conversion? 

By  the  time  that  the  tail  had  come  up,  the  rest  of  the  pro- 
cession was  disposed  round  the  bonfire,  leaving  a  broad  space 
in  the  midst  where  the  throne  and  effigy  might  be  set  down. 

And  now  there  appeared  on  the  Pillory  beside  the  Queen's 
image,  one  of  the  six  cardinals  that  had  come  up  a  little  while 
before,  and  began  a  sort  of  rhyming  dialogue  with  a  choir 
that  was  set  on  another  platform  over  against  him.  I  could 
not  hear  -all  that  was  said,  although  the  people  kept  pretty 
quiet  to  hear  it  too;  but  I  heard  enough.  The  cardinal  was 
proclaiming  the  Catholic  Religion  as  the  only  means  of  sal- 
vation and  threatened  both  temporal  and  eternal  punishment 
to  all  that  would  not  have  it;  and  the  choir  answered,  roaring 
out  the  glories  of  England  and  Protestantism.  The  fifes 
screamed  for  the  cardinal's  words,  as  if  accompanying  them; 
and  trumpets  answered  him  for  England;  and  at  the  end, 
shaking  his  fist  at  the  Queen  and  with  another  gesture  as  of 
despair  he  came  down  from  the  Pillory. 

Then  came  the  end. 

The  devil,  behind  the  throne,  slipped  altogether  behind  it 
and  stood  tossing  his  hands  with  delight;  while  meantime 
the  effigy,  contrived  in  some  way  I  could  not  understand, 
rose  stiffly  from  the  seat  and  stood  upright.  First  he  lifted 


156  ODDSFISH! 

his  hands  as  if  in  entreaty  towards  the  Queen's  image;  then 
he  shook  them  as  if  threatening,  meanwhile  rolling  his  head 
with  its  tiara  from  side  to  side  as  if  seeking  supporters.  Two 
men  then  sprang  upon  the  platform,  as  if  in  answer,  dressed 
like  English  apprentices,  bare-armed  and  with  leather 
aprons;  and  these  seized  each  an  arm  of  the  effigy;  and  at 
that  the  devil,  after  one  more  fit  of  laughter,  holding  his  sides, 
and  shouting  aloud  as  if  in  glee,  leapt  down  behind  the  plat- 
form, dragging  the  chair  after  him.  The  four  boys  stood  an 
instant  as  if  in  terror,  and  then  followed  him,  with  clumsy 
gestures  of  horror. 

The  three  figures  that  remained  now  began  to  wrestle 
together,  stamping  to  and  fro,  up  to  the  very  edge,  then  reeling 
back  again,  and  so  on — the  two  apprentices  against  the  great 
red  dummy.  At  that  the  shouting  of  the  crowd  grew  louder 
and  louder,  and  the  torches  tossed  up  and  down:  it  was  like 
hell  itself,  for  noise  and  terror,  there  in  the  red  flare  of  the 
bonfire:  and,  at  the  last,  all  roaring  together,  with  the  trum- 
pets and  drums  sounding,  and  the  fifes  too,  the  effigy  was  got 
to  the  edge  of  the  platform,  where  it  yet  swayed  for  an  in- 
stant or  two,  and  then  toppled  down  into  the  fire  beneath. 

It  was  a  great  spectacle,  I  cannot  but  confess  it,  and  ad- 
mirably designed;  and  I  took  my  leave  of  Mr.  Martin  and  his 
lady,  and  went  home  to  supper  through  the  crowded  streets, 
more  in  tune,  perhaps,  with  my  country's  state  than  I  had 
been  when  I  lolled  last  night  in  Mr.  Chiffinch's  closet. 


CHAPTER     II 

WITH  Dangerfield's  demonstration  in  my  mind  I  was  not 
greatly  inclined  to  embroil  myself  in  other  matters;  and 
I  kept  my  intention  to  ride  down  to  Hare  Street  three  days 
after,  when  I  had  done  my  business  in  London  and  kissed 
the  King's  hand;  and  this  I  had  done  by  the  evening  of  the 
second  day.  I  saw  His  Majesty  on  that  second  day;  but  he 
was  much  pressed  for  time,  and  he  did  no  more  than  thank 
me  for  what  I  had  done:  and  so  was  gone.  On  that  even- 
ing, however,  a  new  little  adventure  befell  me. 

The  taverns  in  town  were  rare  places  for  making  new 
acquaintances;  and  since  I,  for  the  most  part,  dined  and 
supped  in  them,  I  met  a  good  number  of  gentlemen.  From 
these  I  would  conceal,  usually,  most  of  my  circumstances, 
and  sometimes  even  my  name,  though  that  would  not  have 
told  them  much.  Above  all  I  was  very  careful  to  conceal 
my  dealings  with  His  Majesty,  and  as,  following  the  direc- 
tions he  had  first  given  me,  I  presented  myself  seldom  or 
never  at  Court,  and  did  my  business  through  Mr.  Chiffinch, 
and  in  his  lodgings,  usually,  I  do  not  suppose  that  there 
were  five  men  in  town,  if  so  many,  who  knew  that  I  had 
any  private  knowledge  of  him  at  all.  In  this  manner  then, 
I  heard  a  deal  of  treasonable  talk  of  which  I  did  not  think 
much,  and  only  reported  generally  to  Mr.  Chiffinch  when  he 
asked  me  what  was  the  feeling  in  town  with  regard  to  Court 
affairs.  It  was  through  this,  and  helped,  I  daresay,  by  what 
I  have  been  told  was  the  easy  pleasantness  which  I  affected 
in  company,  that  I  stumbled  over  my  next  adventure;  and 
one  that  was  like,  before  the  end  of  it,  to  have  cost  me  dear. 

I  went  to  supper,  by  chance,  on  the  second  day  after  my 
coming  to  London,  to  an  inn  I  had  never  been  to  before — 
the  Red  Bull  in  Cheapside — a  very  large  inn,  in  those  days, 
with  a  great  garden  at  the  back,  where  gentlemen  would 
dine  in  summer,  and  a  great  parlour  running  out  into  it  from 

157 


158  ODDSFISH! 

the  back  of  the  house,  of  but  one  story  high.  The  rooms 
beneath  seemed  pretty  full,  for  it  was  a  cold  night;  and 
as  there  appeared  no  one  to  attend  to  me  I  went  upstairs, 
and  knocked  on  the  door  of  one  of  the  rooms.  The  talking 
within  ceased  as  I  knocked,  and  none  answered;  so  I  opened 
the  door  and  put  my  head  in.  There  was  a  number  of 
persons  seated  round  the  table  who  all  looked  at  me. 

"  This  is  a  private  room,  sir,"  said  one  of  them  at  the  head. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  gentlemen,"  I  said.  "  I  was  but 
looking  for  someone  to  serve  me."  And  I  was  about  to 
withdraw  when  a  voice  hailed  me  aloud. 

"  Why  it  is  Mr.  Mallock !  "  the  voice  cried ;  and  turning 
again  to  see  who  it  was  I  beheld  my  old  friend  Mr.  Rumbald, 
seated  next  the  one  that  presided. 

I   greeted  him. 

"  But  I  had  best  be  gone,"  I  said.  "  It  is  a  private  room, 
the  gentleman  told  me." 

"  No,  no,"  cried  the  maltster.  "  Come  in,  Mr.  Mallock." 
And  he  said  something  to  the  gentleman  he  sat  by,  who  was 
dressed  very  finely. 

I  could  see  that  something  was  in  the  wind;  and  as  I  was 
out  for  adventure,  it  seemed  to  me  that  here  was  one  ready- 
made,  however  harmless  it  might  turn  out  in  the  end.  So 
I  closed  the  door  behind  me;  there  was  a  shifting  along  the 
benches,  and  I  stepped  over  into  a  place  next  my  friend. 

"  How  goes  the  world  with  you,  sir  ? "  demanded  Mr. 
Rumbald  of  me,  looking  at  my  suit,  which  indeed  was  pretty 
fine. 

"  Very  hungrily  at  present,"  I  said.  "  Where  the  devil 
are  the  maids  got  to  ?  " 

He  called  out  to  the  man  that  sat  nearest  the  door,  and 
he  got  up  and  bawled  something  down  the  passage. 

"  But  it  has  treated  me  better  lately,"  I  said.  "  I  have 
been  in  France  on  my  affairs."  (I  said  this  with  an  important 
air,  for  there  is  no  disguise  so  great  as  the  truth,  if  it  is  put 
on  a  little  awry.) 

"  Oho ! "  said  Rumbald,  who  again,  in  spite  of  his  old 
Presbyterianism,  had  had  a  cup  too  many.  And  he  winked 


ODDSFISH!  159 

on  the  company.  I  had  not  an  idea  of  what  he  meant  by 
that;  but  I  think  he  was  but  shewing  off  his  friend  as  a 
travelled  gentleman. 

"  And  we  have  been  speaking  of  England,"  he  went  on, 
"  and  of  them  that  govern  it,  and  of  the  Ten  Commandments, 
in  special  the  sixth." 

I  observed  signs  of  consternation  among  one  or  two  of 
the  company  when  he  said  this,  and  remembering  of  what 
political  complexion  Mr.  Rumbald  had  been  on  our  previous 
meeting,  I  saw  in  general,  at  least,  what  they  had  been  after. 
But  what  he  meant  of  the  Sixth  Commandment  which  is 
that  of  killing,  according  to  the  Protestant  arrangement  of 
it,  I  understood  nothing. 

"  And  of  who  shall  govern  England  hereafter,"  I  said  in 
a  low  voice,  but  very  deliberate. 

There  fell  a  silence  when  I  said  that;  and  I  was  wondering 
what  in  God's  name  I  should  say  next,  when  the  maid  came 
in,  and  I  fell  to  abusing  of  her  with  an  oath  or  two.  When 
she  was  gone  away  again  to  get  me  my  supper,  the  gentle- 
man in  the  fine  dress  at  the  head  of  the  table  leaned  forward 
a  little. 

"  That,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  is  of  what  we  were  speak- 
ing. How  did  you  know  that  ?  " 

"  I  know  my  friend  Mr.  Rumbald,"  I  said. 

This  appeared  to  give  the  greatest  pleasure  to  the  maltster. 
He  laughed  aloud,  and  beat  me  on  the  back;  but  his  eyes 
were  fierce  for  all  his  merriment.  I  felt  that  this  would  be 
no  easy  enemy  to  have. 

"  Mr.  Mallock  knows  me,"  he  said,  "  and  I  know  Mr. 
Mallock.  I  assure  you,  gentlemen,  you  can  speak  freely 
before  Mr.  Mallock."  And  he  poured  a  quantity  of  his 
college-ale  into  a  tankard  that  stood  before  me. 

It  appeared,  however,  that  several  of  the  company  had 
sudden  affairs  elsewhere;  and,  before  we  even  smelled  of 
treason,  three  or  four  of  them  made  their  excuses  and  went 
away.  This  confirmed  me  in  my  thought  that  I  was  stumbled 
upon  one  of  those  little  gatherings  of  malcontents,  of  whom 
the  town  was  full,  who  talked  largely  over  their  cups  of  the 


160  ODDSFISH! 

Protestant  succession  and  the  like,  but  did  very  little.  But 
I  was  not  quite  right  in  my  surmise,  as  will  appear  presently. 

By  the  time  that  my  supper  came  up — (I  cursed  the  maid 
again  for  her  delay,  though,  poor  wench,  she  was  near  run 
off  her  legs) — there  were  left  but  four  of  us  in  the  room;  the 
gentleman  at  the  head  of  the  table,  a  lean  quiet  man  with 
a  cast  in  his  eye  who  sat  opposite  me,  Mr.  Rumbald  and 
myself. 

There  was,  however,  a  shade  of  caution  yet  left  in  my 
friend  that  the  ale  had  not  yet  driven  out;  and  before  pro- 
ceeding any  further,  he  observed  again  that  my  fortunes  had 
improved. 

"  Why,  they  have  improved  a  great  deal,"  I  said — for 
he  had  caught  me  with  my  silver-hilted  sword  and  my  lace, 
and  I  saw  him  looking  at  them — "  I  live  in  Covent  Garden 
now,  where  you  must  come  and  see  me,  Mr.  Rumbald." 

"  And  your  politics  with  them  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  My  politics  are  what  they  ever  were,"  I  said ;  and  that 
was  true  enough. 

"  You  were  at  Temple  Bar  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Why  I  only  came  from  France  the  day  before ;  but  you 
may  depend  upon  it  I  was  there.  It  warmed  my  heart." 

"  You  know  who  was  behind  it  all?  "  asked  the  gentleman 
at  the  head  of  the  table,  suddenly. 

I  knew  well  enough  that  such  men  as  these  despise  ignor- 
ance above  all  things,  and  that  a  shrewd  fellow — or  a  man 
that  they  think  to  be  one — is  worth  a  thousand  simpletons 
in  their  eyes;  so  I  made  no  pretence  of  not  knowing  what 
he  meant. 

"  Why  of  course  I  do !  "  I  said  contemptuously.  "  It  was 
my  Lord  Shaftesbury." 

Now  the  truth  of  this  was  not  known  to  everyone  in 
London  at  this  time,  though  it  was  known  a  little  while 
later:  and  I  should  not  have  known  it  myself  if  Mr.  Chiffinch 
had  not  told  me.  But  these  men  knew  it,  it  seemed,  well 
enough;  and  my  knowledge  of  it  blew  me  sky-high  in  their 
view. 


ODDSFISH!  161 

"  My  Lord  Shaftesbury,  God  bless  him ! "  said  the  lean 
squinting  man,  suddenly;  and  drained  his  mug. 

"  God  bless  him !  "  I  said  too,  and  put  my  lips  to  mine. 
My  hand  was  immediately  grasped  by  Mr.  Rumbald;  and 
so  cordial  relations  were  confirmed. 

Well;  we  settled  down  then  to  talk  treason.  I  must  not 
deny  that  these  persons  shewed  still  some  glimmerings  of 
sense;  they  did  not,  that  is  to  say,  as  yet  commit  themselves 
irrevocably  to  my  mercy:  they  appeared  to  me  to  talk  gen- 
erally, with  a  view  to  trying  me:  but  I  acquitted  myself  to 
their  satisfaction. 

We  deposed  Charles,  we  excluded  James,  we  legitimized 
Monmouth;  we  armed  the  loyal  citizens  and  took  away  the 
arms  of  all  others.  We  appointed  even  days  of  humiliation 
and  thanksgiving;  and  we  grew  more  enthusiastic  and  reck- 
less with  every  mug.  The  lean  man  confided  to  me  with 
infinite  pride,  that  he  had  been  one  of  the  cardinals  in  the 
procession  to  Temple  Bar;  and  I  grasped  his  hand  in  tearful 
congratulation.  We  were  near  weeping  with  loyalty  at  the 
end,  not  to  Charles  but  to  Monmouth.  The  only  man  who 
preserved  his  self-control  completely  was  the  gentleman  at 
the  head  of  the  table,  though  he  too  adventured  a  good  deal, 
throwing  it  before  me  as  a  bait  before  a  trout;  and  each  time 
I  gulped  it  down  and  asked  for  more.  He  was  a  finely 
featured  man,  with  a  nose  set  well  out  in  his  face,  and  had 
altogether  the  look  and  bearing  of  a  gentleman. 

It  must  have  been  full  half-past  nine  before  we  broke  up; 
and  that  was  at  the  going  of  our  president.  We  too  rose 
and  saw  him  to  the  door;  and  the  lean  man  said  he  would 
see  him  downstairs,  so  Mr.  Rumbald  and  I  were  left,  he 
swaying  a  little  and  smiling,  holding  on  to  the  door-post,  and 
I  endeavouring  to  preserve  my  dignity. 

I  was  about  to  say  good-night  too  and  begone,  when  he 
plucked  me  suddenly  by  the  sleeve. 

"Come  back  again,  Mr.  Mallock/'  he  said.  "I  have 
something  to  say  to  you." 


162  ODDSFISH! 

We  went  back  again,  shutting  the  door  behind  us,  and  sat: 
down.  It  was  a  pleasant  little  parlour  this,  decently  fur-' 
nished,  and  I  feigned  to  be  looking  at  the  hanging  that  wasi 
over  the  press  where  they  kept  the  tankards,  as  if  I  had! 
no  curiosity  in  the  world. 

"  Here,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  my  friend's  voice  behind  me. 
"  Look  at  this/* 

He  had  drawn  out  a  little  black  pocket-book,  leather- 
bound,  and  with  it  three  or  four  loose  papers.  I  sat  down 
by  him,  and  took  it  from  him. 

"  It  is  some  kind  of  an  account-book,"  I  said. 

"  You  are  right,  sir,"  said  Mr.  Rumbald. 

He  sat  with  an  air  of  vast  importance,  while  I  examined; 
the  book.  It  had  a  great  number  of  entries,  concerning  such 
things  as  accounts  for  beer  and  other  refreshments,  with] 
others  which  I  could  not  understand.  There  were  also  thej 
names  of  inns  in  London,  with  marks  opposite  to  them,  andj 
times  of  day  written  down  besides.  I  could  make  nothing j 
of  all  this;  so  I  turned  to  the  papers.  Here,  to  my  astonish- 
ment, on  one  of  them  was  written  a  list  of  names,  some  very 
well  known,  beginning  with  my  Lord  Shaftesbury's,  and  on] 
the  two  others  a  number  of  notes  in  short-hand,  with  three! 
or  four  of  the  same  names  as  before  written  long-hand.  I 
One  of  these  slipped  to  the  floor  as  I  held  them,  and  I  stooped 
to  pick  it  up;  when  I  raised  my  head  again,  the  pocket-book 
and  the  other  two  papers  had  disappeared  again  into  Mr. 
Rumbald's  possession.  He  did  not  seem  to  have  seen  thej 
one  that  fell,  so  I  held  it  on  my  knee  beneath  the  table.] 
thinking  to  examine  it  later. 

"  Well?  "  I  asked.     "  What  is  the  matter?  " 

The  maltster  had  an  air  of  great  mystery  upon  his  face.] 
He  regarded  me  sternly,  though  his  eyes  watered  a  little. 

"Enough  to  hang  us  all,"  he  said;  and  I  saw  the  fierce 
light  in  his  eyes  again,  through  the  veil  of  drink. 

"Why;  how  is  that?  "  asked  I,  slipping  the  paper  I  held 
behind  me,  and  into  the  skirt  pocket  of  my  coat. 

"  Those  accounts,"  he  said,  "  they  are  all  for  the  proces- 
sion; for  I  provided  myself  a  good  deal  of  the  refreshment: 


ODDSFISH!  163 

and  was  paid  for  it  by  a  man  of  my  Lord's,  who  has  signed 
the  book." 

"  And  the  two  papers  ?  "   I   asked. 

"  Ah !  "  said  Mr.  Rumbald.  "  That  is  another  matter  al- 
together." 

I  feigned  that  I  was  incurious. 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  every  man  to  his  own  trade.  I  would 
not  meddle  with  another's,  for  the  world." 

"  That  is  best,"  said  my  friend. 

I  tried  a  sentence  or  two  more;  but  caution  seemed  to 
have  returned  to  him,  though  a  little  late;  and  I  presently 
saw  I  should  get  no  more  out  of  him.  I  congratulated  him 
again  on  the  pleasant  evening  we  had  spent;  and  five  minutes 
later  we  went  downstairs  together,  very  friendly;  and  he 
winked  upon  me  as  I  went  out,  after  paying  my  account,  as 
if  there  were  some  secret  understanding  between  us. 

I  had  a  cold  walk  back  to  Covent  Garden,  remembering 
with  satisfaction,  as  I  went,  that  I  had  not  told  Mr.  Rumbald 
more  particularly  where  I  lodged;  and  thinking  over  what  I 
had  heard.  It  was  not  a  great  deal  after  all,  I  thought. 
When  all  was  said^  I  had  only  heard  over  again  what  was 
known  well  enough  at  Court,  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  was 
behind  this  demonstration,  and  had  his  finger  in  the  whole 
affair  of  Monmouth;  I  had  but  stumbled  upon  one  of  those 
companies,  who  were  known,  well  enough,  to  be  everywhere, 
who  were  for  Monmouth  against  His  Royal  Highness:  and 
I  had  but  seen,  what  surely  might  be  guessed  to  exist, — the 
accounts  of  the  refreshments  supplied  to  the  actors  in  the 
demonstration — and  had  been  told  that  my  Lord's  man  had 
paid  the  score.  There  might,  indeed,  be  more  behind;  but 
of  that  I  had  no  evidence  at  all;  I  had  received  no  confidence 
that  could  be  of  any  value:  and  as  for  the  paper  in  my  skirt- 
pocket,  I  valued  it  no  more  than  a  rush,  and  wondered  I 
had  taken  the  trouble  to  secure  it. 

When  I  reached  my  lodgings,  I  took  it  out  and  looked  at 
it  again.  I  had  not  even  the  means  of  reading  it.  The  name 
of  my  Lord  Shaftesbury,  as  I  have  said,  was  written  in 


164  ODDSFISH! 

long-hand  three  or  four  times;  and  the  Duke  of  Monmouth's 
twice.  There  also  appeared  other  names  of  which  I  did  not 
know  a  great  deal,  and  one  at  least  of  which  I  knew  nothing, 
which  was  "  College";  though  this  for  all  I  knew  was  for  a 
college  in  an  University.  Other  names  were  that  of  my  Lord 
Essex  and  John  Hampden,  and  Algernon  Sidney.  The  pa- 
per was  about  a  foot  in  length  and  six  inches  across;  and 
I  thought  so  little  of  it — thinking  that  a  paper  of  importance 
would  scarcely  be  entrusted  to  a  man  like  Rumbald,  who 
threw  them  about  a  tavern — that  I  was  very  near  throwing 
it  into  the  fire.  But  I  kept  it — though  God  knows  that 
afterwards  I  wished  I  had  not  done  so — and  slipped  it  into 
my  pocket-book  where  I  kept  three  or  four  others,  intending, 
when  I  had  an  opportunity,  to  give  it  to  some  clerk,  learned 
in  short-hand,  to  read  for  me. 
And  so  I  went  to  bed. 


CHAPTER     III 

IT  was  with  a  very  happy  heart  that  the  next  night,  about 
seven  o'clock,  I  rode  down  Hare  Street  village,  and  saw 
the  lights  of  the  house  shining  through  the  limes. 

It  was  a  very  different  coming  back  from  my  going.  Then 
we  four  had  stood  together  in  the  dark  at  the  corner  of  the 
lane,  fearing  lest  a  window  should  be  thrown  up.  Now 
I  rode  back  with  James,  secure  and  content,  fearing  nothing: 
for  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  told  me  that  all  peril  had  passed  from 
Dangerfield,  even  had  he  met  me  and  known  me,  which  was 
not  likely.  They  were  after  other  game  now  than  the  old 
conspirators. 

I  had  sent  a  message  to  Hare  Street  on  the  day  after  I  was 
come  to  London,  that  I  would  be  with  them  on  this  day: 
and  so  soon  as  I  rode  into  the  yard  the  men  ran  out,  and  I 
heard  a  window  open  in  the  house;  so  that  by  the  time  I 
came  to  the  door  it  was  open,  and  my  cousins  there  to  meet 
me. 

It  was  very  strange,  that  evening  there,  to  be  so  with 
my  Cousin  Dolly;  for  each  of  us  knew,  and  that  the  other 
knew  that  too,  that  matters  were  advanced  with  us,  since  we 
had  been  through  peril  together.  It  was  strange  how  diffi- 
dent we  both  were,  and  how  we  could  not  meet  one  another's 
eyes;  and  yet  I  was  aware  that  she  would  nave  it  otherwise 
if  she  could,  and  strove  to  be  natural.  We  had  music  again 
that  night,  and  Dolly  and  her  maid  sang  the  setting  of  "  Go, 
perjured  man  "  which  she  had  made  from  Mr.  Wise's.  For 
myself,  I  sat  in  a  corner  by  the  fire  and  watched  her.  She 
was  in  grey  that  night,  with  lace,  and  a  string  of  little  fresh- 
water pearls. 

When  she  was  gone  to  bed,  my  Cousin  Tom  and  I  had  a 
crack  together;  and  he  seemed  to  me  more  sensible  than  I 
had  thought  him  at  first.  We  talked  of  a  great  number  of 

165 


166  ODDSFISH! 

things;  and  he  asked  me  about  France  and  my  life  there;  and 
I  had  a  great  ado  from  being  indiscreet  and  telling  him  too 
much.  I  represented  to  him  that  I  was  gone  over  to  be 
out  of  the  way  of  Dangerfield,  as  indeed  I  had;  but  I  said 
nothing  at  all  to  him  as  to  my  business  there:  and  he  seemed 
content. 

He  told  me  also  of  what  he  had  written  to  me  as  to  the 
return  of  Mr.  Harris,  very  tired  and  angry,  the  next  afternoon 
after  his  search  of  the  house.  He  had  ridden  near  all  the 
way  to  Newmarket,  inquiring  for  me  everywhere:  and  had 
come  to  the  conclusion  at  last  that  I  had  not  gone  that  way 
after  all. 

"  He  was  very  high  with  me,"  said  my  Cousin  Tom,  "  but 
I  was  higher  yet.  I  told  him  that  it  was  not  my  business 
both  to  make  conspirators  and  to  arrest  them;  and  since 
he  had  done  me  the  honour  of  thinking  I  had  done  the  first, 
I  had  done  him  the  honour  of  thinking  that  he  could  do  the 
second:  but  thalTit  seemed  I  was  wrong  in  that." 

This  seemed  a  considerable  effort  of  wit  for  my  Cousin 
Tom;  but  scarcely  one  calculated  to  soothe  Mr.  Harris. 

Finally,  when  I  was  thinking  of  bed  my  Cousin  Tom 
opened  out  once  again  on  an  old  matter  that  was  before  my 
mind  continually  now:  and  he  spoke,  I  think,  very  sensibly. 

"Cousin  Roger,"  he  said:  "there  is  one  other  affair  I 
must  speak  to  you  of,  now  that  you  are  come  again  to  Hare 
Street  and  seem  likely  to  remain  here  for  a  while;  and  that 
is  of  my  daughter.  I  know  you  would  not  have  me  say  too 
much;  and  I  will  not.  But  have  you  considered  the  advice 
you  said  you  would  give  me  a  great  while  ago  ?  " 

I  did  not  answer  him  for  a  moment;  for  I  was  not  sure 
if  he  were  very  wise  or  very  foolish  in  opening  upon  it  again. 
Then  I  determined  to  be  open  with  the  man. 

"  Cousin  Tom,"  I  said,  "  I  am  both  glad  and  sorry  that 
you  have  spoken  of  this;  and  I  will  tell  you  the  whole  truth, 
which  I  think  perhaps  you  may  have  guessed.  The  reason 
why  I  could  not  give  you  advice  before  was  that  I  was  not 
sure  of  my  own  mind.  Well;  I  am  sure  of  it  now;  and  I 
wish  to  ask  my  Cousin  Dolly,  so  soon  as  I  see  an  opportunity 


ODDSFISH!  167 

to  do  so,  if  she  will  marry  me.  But  I  must  say  this — that  I 
am  going  to  take  no  risks.  I  shall  not  ask  her  so  long  as  I 
think  she  will  refuse  me;  and  I  think,  to  tell  the  truth,  that 
she  would  not  have  me  if  I  asked  her  now." 

My  Cousin  Tom  began  to  speak:  but  I  prevented  him. 

"  One  moment/'  I  said,  "  and  you  shall  say  what  you  will. 
There  is  one  reason  that  comes  to  my  mind  which  perhaps 
may  explain  her  unwillingness;  and  that  is  that  she  may 
think  that  she  is  being  thrown  at  my  head.  You  have  been 
very  kind,  Cousin,  in  allowing  me  to  make  this  my  home 
in  the  country;  and  I  know" — (here  I  lied  vehemently) — 
"  I  know  that  nothing  was  further  from  your  thoughts  than 
this.  Yet  it  may  seem  so,  to  a  foolish  maid  who  knows 
nothing  of  the  world.  I  do  not  know  if  you  have  ever  said 
anything  to  her " 

"  Why,  Cousin — "  cried  Tom,  in  such  a  manner  that  I  knew 
he  was  lying  too — "  what  do  you  think 

"  Just  so,"  I  said ;  for  I  did  not  wish  him  to  lie  more  than 
he  need;  "  I  was  sure " 

"  I  may  have  said  a  word  or  two,  once  or  twice,"  pursued 
Cousin  Tom,  intent  on  his  own  exposure — "  that  she  must 
think  soon  about  getting  married,  and  so  forth.  But  to 
say  that  I  have  thrown  her  at  your  head,  Cousin,  is  not,  I 
think,  a  kindly  thing " 

"  My  dear  man !  "  cried  I.  "  I  have  been  saying  expressly 
that  I  knew  you  had  done  nothing  of  the  sort;  but  that 
perhaps  Dolly  thought  so."  (This  quieted  him  a  little,  for 
I  watched  his  face.)  "  So  the  best  way,  I  think,  is  for  us 
all  to  be  quiet  for  a  little  and  say  nothing.  You  know 
now  what  my  own  wishes  are;  and  that  is  enough  for  you 
and  me.  As  to  estates,  I  will  make  a  settlement,  if  ever  the 
marriage  is  arranged,  that  will  satisfy  you;  but  I  think  we 
need  not  trouble  about  that  at  present.  I  will  do  my  utmost 
to  push  my  suit;  but  it  must  be  in  my  own  way;  and  that 
way  will  be  to  say  nothing  at  all  for  a  while,  but  to  establish 
easy  relations  with  her.  She  is  a  little  perturbed  at  pres- 
ent: I  saw  that,  for  I  watched  her  to-night;  and  unless  she 
can  grow  quiet  again,  all  will  come  to  nothing." 


168  ODDSFISH! 

So  I  spoke,  in  the  folly  of  my  "own  wisdom  that  seemed 
to  me  so  great  at  that  time.  I  had  dealt  with  men,  but  not 
at  all  with  women,  and  knew  nothing  of  them.  If  I  had  but 
followed  my  heart  and  spoken  to  her  at  once,  while  the 
warmth  of  my  welcome,  and  the  memory  of  the  peril  we  had 
undergone  together  were  still  in  heart,  matters  might  have 
been  very  different.  But  I  thought  otherwise,  and  that  I 
would  be  very  prudent  and  circumspect,  knowing  nothing  at 
all  of  a  maid's  heart  and  her  ways.  As  for  Cousin  Tom,  he 
had  to  yield  to  me;  for  what  else  could  he  do?  The  prospect 
that  I  opened  before  him  was  a  better  one  than  he  could  get 
anywhere  else:  he  had  no  opening  at  Court,  in  spite  of  his 
bragging;  and  the  Protestants  round  about  were  too  wise 
in  their  rustic  way,  to  engage  themselves  with  a  Papist  at 
such  a  time.  So  there  the  matter  remained. 

When  I  came  to  my  chamber,  it  had  a  very  pleasant  asped 
to  me.  The  curtains  were  across  the  windows;  a  great  fire 
blazed  on  the  hearth — (I  had  heard  my  Cousin  Dolly's  foot- 
steps pass  across  the  landing,  before  she  went  to  bed, — no 
doubt  to  put  more  wood  on) — my  bed  was  ready,  and  on  the 
round  table  in  the  middle  was  a  jug  of  horn-beam  branches 
with  some  winter  flowers.  It  was  six  months  since  I  hac 
been  here;  and  matters  were  considerably  better  with  me 
now  than  they  had  been  then.  Then  I  was  being  hunted 
now  I  was  free  from  all  anxiety  on  that  score:  then  I  hac 
been  going  up  to  London  to  resign  what  little  position 
had;  now  I  was  re-established,  owing  to  what  I  had  done  in 
France,  on  a  better  footing  than  ever.  More  than  all,  I  knew 
now,  without  any  doubt  at  all,  what  my  heart  told  me  of  my 
Cousin  Dolly;  and  I  was  here,  with  every  liberty  to  commenc 
my  suit  to  her. 

Before  I  went  to  bed  I  opened  the  little  secret  cupboarc 
by  my  bed,  and  put  into  it  three  or  four  private  papers  ] 
had,  and  amongst  them  that  written  in  cipher  that  I  had  hac 
from  Mr.  Rumbald.  Then  I  went  to  bed;  and  dreamed  oi 
Dolly. 


ODDSFISH!  169 

Then  began  for  me  a  time  of  great  peace  and  serenity. 

First  came  Christmas,  with  its  homely  joys,  and  Twelfth 
night  on  which  we  cut  and  ate  a  great  cake  that  Dolly  had 
made;  then  there  was  the  winter's  work  to  be  done  in  prep- 
aration for  the  spring;  and  then  spring  itself,  with  the 
crocuses  sprouting  between  the  joints  of  the  paved  walk 
round  the  house;  and  the  daffodils  in  the  long  box-bed  be- 
neath the  limes.  I  write  these  little  things  down,  for  it 
was  principally  by  these  things  that  I  remember  those  months ; 
and  the  noise  of  the  world  outside  seemed  as  sounds  heard 
in  a  dream.  I  went  up  to  London,  now  and  again — but 
not  very  often;  and  saw  His  Majesty  in  private  twice,  and 
he  honoured  me  by  asking  my  advice  again  on  certain  French 
affairs;  but,  for  the  time,  all  these  things  were  secondary 
in  my  mind  to  the  cows  of  Hare  Street  and  to  how  the  pigs 
did.  It  is  marvellous  how  men's  minds  can  come  down  to 
such  matters,  and  become  absorbed  in  them,  and  let  the  rest 
of  the  world  go  hang.  I  thought  now  and  again  of  my  mis- 
sion from  Rome;  yet  I  do  not  think  I  was  faithless  to  it; 
for  there  was  nothing  at  that  time  which  I  could  do  for  the 
King;  and  he  expressly  had  desired  me  not  to  mix  much  with 
the  Court  and  so  become  known.  The  truth  of  the  matter 
was  that  at  this  time  he  was  largely  occupied  with  a  certain 
woman,  whose  name  had  best  not  be  spoken;  and  when  His 
Majesty  ran  upon  those  lines,  he  could  think  of  little  else. 
I  sent  my  reports  regularly  to  Rome;  and  the  Cardinal  Secre- 
tary seemed  satisfied;  and  so  therefore  was  I. 

It  was,  with  my  Cousin  Dolly,  precisely  as  I  had  thought. 
She  was  at  first  very  shy  indeed,  going  up  to  her  chamber 
early  in  the  evening,  so  that  we  had  little  or  no  music;  but 
relaxing  a  little  as  I  shewed  myself  friendly  without  being 
forward.  I  caught  her  eyes  on  me  sometimes ;  and  she  seemed 
to  be  appraising  me,  I  thought  in  my  stupidity,  as  to  whether 
she  could  trust  me  not  to  make  love  to  her;  but  now,  as  I 
think,  for  a  very  different  reason;  and  I  would  see  her  some- 
times as  I  went  out  of  doors,  peeping  at  me  for  an  instant 
out  of  a  window.  It  was  not,  however,  all  hide  and  seek. 


170  ODDSFISH! 

We  would  talk  frankly  and  easily  enough  at  times,  and  spend 
an  hour  or  two  together,  or  when  her  father  was  asleep,  with 
the  greatest  friendliness;  and  meanwhile  I,  poor  fool,  was 
thinking  how  wise  and  prudent  I  was;  and  what  mighty  prog- 
ress I  was  making  by  these  crooked  ways. 

In  Easter  week  we  had  a  great  happiness — so  great  that 
it  near  broke  me  down  in  my  resolution — and  I  would  to 
God  it  had — (at  least  in  certain  moods  I  wish  so). 

I  was  returning  along  the  Barkway  road  from  a  meadow 
where  I  had  been  to  look  to  the  new  lambs,  in  my  working 
dress,  when  I  heard  a  horse  coming  behind  me.  I  stepped 
aside  to  let  him  go  by,  when  I  heard  myself  called. 

"  My  man/'  said  the  voice.  "  Can  you  tell  me  where  is 
Mr.  Jermyn's  house  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,"  I  said.     "  I  am  going  there  myself." 

He  was  a  grave-looking  gentleman,  very  dark;  and  as  I 
looked  at  him  I  remembered  him;  but  I  could  see  he  did  not 
remember  me,  and  no  wonder,  for  he  had  only  seen  me  once, 
on  a  very  agitating  occasion,  for  a  short  while.  He  was 
riding  a  very  good  horse,  which  was  going  lame,  but  without 
any  servant,  and  he  had  his  valise  strapped  on  the  crupper. 
In  appearance  he  was  a  country-squire  on  his  way  to  town. 
I  determined  to  give  him  a  surprise  as  we  went  along. 

"  I  hope  you  are  well,  Mr.  Hamerton,"  I  said. 

He  gave  a  great  start  at  that,  and  looked  at  me  closely. 

"  I  do  not  remember  you,"  he  said.  "  And  why  do  you 
call  me  Mr.  Hamerton  ?  " 

"  I  know  that  is  not  the  name  you  were  usually  known  by, 
father.  Would  you  be  easier  if  I  called  you  Mr.  Young?  " 

"  I  give  it  up,"  he  said.     "  Who  are  you,  sir  ?  " 

"  Do  you  remember  a  young  man,"  I  said,  "  a  year  and  a 
half  ago,  who  came  into  Mr.  Chiffinch's  inner  parlour  on  a 
certain  occasion?  You  were  sitting  near  His  Royal  High- 
ness; His  Majesty  was  at  the  end  of  the  table;  and  by  you 
was  Father  Bedingfeld  who  died  in  prison  in  December." 

He  smiled  at  me. 

"  I  remember  everything  except  the  young  man,"  he  said. 
"  So  you  are  he.  And  what  is  your  name,  sir?  " 


ODDSFISH!  171 

I  told  him. 

"  I  am  Mr.  Jermyn's  cousin/'  I  said.  "  And  I  have  been 
looking  after  his  lambs  for  him.  I  would  there  was  some 
spiritual  shepherd  who  would  look  after  us.  We  have  not 
heard  mass  since  Christmas."  (For  we  had  ridden  over  to 
Standon  on  that  day.) 

He  seemed  altogether  easier  at  that. 

"  Why,  that  can  be  remedied  to-morrow,"  he  said.  "If 
you  have  an  altar  stone  and  linen  and  vestments.  I  have 
all  else  with  me." 

We  had  these,  and  I  told  him  so. 

"  Then  you  mean  to  lie  at  Hare  Street  to-night,  sir  ?  "  I 
said. 

"  I  had  hoped  to  do  so,"  he  said.  "  I  am  come  from  Lin- 
colnshire; and  I  was  recommended  to  Mr.  Jermyn's  if  I 
could  not  get  so  far  as  Standon;  and  I  cannot,  for  my  horse 
is  lame." 

My  Cousin  Tom  received  the  priest  in  a  surprising  medley 
of  emotions  which  he  exhibited  one  by  one  to  me  who  knew 
him  so  well.  He  was  at  first  plainly  terrified  at  receiving 
a  priest  and  a  Jesuit;  but,  presently  recovered  himself  a 
little  and  strove  to  remember  that  here  was  one  of  God's 
priests  who  would  bring  a  blessing  on  the  house — (and  said 
so)  ;  finally  all  else  was  swallowed  up  in  pleasure,  or  very 
nearly,  when  I  took  occasion  on  Mr.  Hamerton's  going 
upstairs  to  pull  off  his  boots,  to  tell  him  that  I  had  seen  this 
priest  very  intimate  with  His  Royal  Highness  the  Duke  of 
York;  and  that  he  had  been  a  near  friend  of  Mr.  Bedingfeld, 
the  Duke's  confessor. 

My  Cousin  Dorothy  received  him  with  the  reverence  that 
pious  maids  can  shew  so  easily  towards  a  priest.  She  had 
his  chamber  ready  for  him  in  ten  minutes;  with  fresh  water 
in  the  basin  and  flowers  upon  the  table:  she  even  set  out  for 
his  entertainment  three  or  four  books  of  devotion  by  his 
bedside.  And  all  the  time  at  supper  she  never  ceased  to 
give  him  attention,  drawing  the  men's  eyes  to  his  plate  and 
cup  continually. 


173  ODDSFISH! 

Mr.  Hamerton  was  a  very  quiet  gentleman,  wonderfully  at 
his  ease  at  once,  and  never  losing  his  discretion;  he  talked 
generally  and  pleasantly  at  supper,  of  his  road  tc  Hare  Street, 
and  told  us  an  edifying  story  or  two  of  Catholics  at  whose 
houses  he  had  lain  on  his  way  from  Lincolnshire.  These 
Jesuits  are  wonderful  folk :  he  seemed  to  know  the  country 
all  over,  and  where  were  the  safer  districts  and  where  the 
dangerous.  I  have  no  doubt  he  could  have  given  me  an 
excellent  road-map  with  instructions  that  would  take  me 
safe  from  London  to  Edinburgh,  if  I  had  wished  it. 

"  And  have  you  never  been  troubled  with  highwaymen  ?  " 
asked  my  Cousin  Tom. 

"  No,  Mr.  Jermyn,"  said  the  priest,  "  except  once,  and 
that  was  a  Catholic  robber.  I  thought  he  was  by  the  start 
he  gave  when  he  saw  my  crucifix  as  he  was  searching  me; 
and  taxed  him  with  it.  So  the  end  was,  he  returned  me 
my  valuables,  and  took  a  little  sermon  from  my  lips  instead." 

When  supper  was  over,  and  Dorothy  had  gone  upstairs  to 
make  all  ready  for  mass  on  the  next  morning,  Mr.  Hamerton, 
at  our  questioning,  began  to  tell  us  a  little  of  the  state  of 
politics  and  what  he  thought  would  happen;  and  every  word 
that  he  said  came  true. 

"  His  Grace  of  Monmouth  will  be  our  trouble,"  he  said. 
"  The  King  adores  him ;  and  he  hath  so  far  prevailed  with 
His  Majesty  as  to  get  the  Duke  of  York  sent  twice  to  Scot- 
land. I  think  few  folk  understand  what  feeling  there  is  in 
the  country  for  the  Protestant  Duke.  It  was  through  my 
Lord  Shaftesbury,  who  is  behind  him,  that  His  Royal  High- 
ness, was  actually  sent  away,  for  Monmouth  could  do  noth- 
ing without  him;  and  I  have  no  kind  of  doubt  that  he  has 
further  schemes  in  his  mind  too." 

(This  was  all  fulfilled  a  couple  of  months  later,  as  I  remem- 
bered when  the  time  came,  by  my  Lord  Shaftesbury 's  actually 
presenting  James*  name  as  that  of  a  recusant,  before  the 
grand  jury  of  Middlesex;  but  the  judges  dismissed  the  jury 
immediately.) 


ODDSFISH!  173 

"  And  you  think,  father,"  asked  my  Cousin  Tom  very 
solemnly,  "that  these  seditions  will  lead  to  trouble?" 

"  I  have  no  doubt  of  it  at  all,"  said  he.  "  The  country — 
especially  London — is  full  of  disaffection.  Their  demon- 
stration last  year  did  a  deal  to  stir  it  up.  The  Duke  of  York 
is  back  now,  against  my  advice;  but  I  have  no  doubt  he  will 
have  to  go  on  his  travels  again.  Were  His  Majesty  to  die 
now — (quod  Deus  avertat!) — I  do  not  know  how  we  should 
stand." 

Mr.  Hamerton  took  occasion  to  ask  me  that  night,  when 
we  were  alone  for  a  minute  or  two,  what  I  was  doing  in  the 
country. 

"  I  remember  you  perfectly  now,"  said  he.  "  Father  Whit- 
bread  spoke  to  me  of  you,  besides." 

I  told  him  that  I  had  nothing  to  do  in  town;  and  with  His 
Majesty's  consent  was  lying  hid  for  a  little,  in  order  that 
what  little  was  known  of  me  might  be  forgotten  again. 

"Well;  I  suppose  you  are  wise,"  he  said,  "  and  that  you 
will  be  able  to  do  more  hereafter.  But  the  time  will  come 
presently  when  we  shall  all  be  needed." 

It  was  on  the  tip  of  my  tongue  to  ask  him  if  he  could 
read  cipher,  and  to  shew  him  my  paper — reminded  of  it, 
by  his  talk  of  disaffection;  but  my  Cousin  Tom  came  back 
at  that  moment;  and  I  put  it  off;  and  I  presently  forgot  it 
again. 

The  memory  of  the  mass  that  we  heard  next  morning  will 
never  leave  me;  for  it  was  the  first  time  that  I  had  heard  it 
in  the  house. 

We  used  the  long  attic,  for  fear  of  disturbance,  and  had  a 
man  posted  beneath — for  it  was  still  death  for  a  priest  to 
say  mass  in  England.  All  the  servants  that  were  Catholics 
were  there;  and  all,  I  think,  went  to  the  sacraments.  Mr. 
Hamerton  heard  confessions  before  the  mass  began. 

The  north  end  of  the  attic  had  been  prepared  by  Dolly 
and  her  maid;  and  looked  very  pretty  and  fine.  A  couple 


174  ODDSFISH! 

of  men  had  carried  up  a  great  low  press,  that  had  the  instru- 
ments of  the  Passion  painted  upon  its  panels;  and  this 
served  for  an  altar.  Behind  it  Dolly  had  put  up  a  hanging 
from  downstairs,  that  was  of  Abraham  offering  Isaac,  and  had 
set  upon  the  altar  a  pair  of  silver  candlesticks  from  the 
parlour,  and  a  little  standing  crucifix,  with  jugs  of  country 
flowers  between  the  candlesticks  and  the  cross.  She  had 
laid  too,  as  a  foot-pace,  a  Turkey  rug  that  came  too  from  the 
parlour;  and  had  put  a  little  table  to  serve  as  a  credence. 
Mr.  Hamerton  had  with  him  little  altar-vessels  made  for 
travelling,  with  a  cup  that  unscrewed  from  the  stem,  and 
every  other  necessary  except  what  he  asked  us  to  provide. 

It  is  the  experience  of  everyone,  I  think,  that  mass  differs 
from  mass,  as  a  star  (in  the  apostle's  words)  differs  from 
another  star  in  glory — I  do  not  mean  in  its  essential  effects, 
for  that  is  the  same  always,  but  in  the  devotion  which  it 
arouses  in  those  that  hear  it.  This  mass  then  seemed  to 
me  like  scarcely  any  other  that  I  had  ever  heard,  except 
perhaps  that  at  which  I  received  my  first  communion  in  the 
country  church  in  France.  Mr.  Hamerton  said  it  with  great 
deliberation  and  recollection;  and,  as  my  Cousin  Tom  served 
him,  as  a  host  should,  I  was  not  distracted  by  anything.  My 
Cousin  Dolly  and  I  kneeled  side  by  side  in  front,  and  again, 
side  by  side,  to  receive  Holy  Communion. 

I  was  in  a  kind  of  ecstasy  of  delight,  and  not,  I  think 
unworthily;  for,  though  much  of  my  delight  came  from  being 
there  with  my  cousin,  and  receiving  our  Lord's  Body  with 
her,  I  do  not  think  that  is  any  dishonour  to  God  whom  we 
must  love  first  of  all,  to  find  a  great  joy  in  loving  Him  in 
the  company  of  those  we  love  purely  and  uprightly.  So  at 
least  it  seems  to  me. 

Mr.  Hamerton  told  us  he  must  be  riding  very  early;  and 
not  much  after  seven  o'clock  we  stood  at  the  gate  to  bid  him 
farewell.  I  made  my  man  James  go  with  him  so  far  as  Ware 
to  set  him  on  his  road,  though  the  priest  begged  me  not  to 
trouble  myself. 


DDDSFISH!  175 

When  I  came  back  to  the  house  I  was  in  a  torment  of  in- 
decision as  to  whether  this  would  not  be  the  best  occasion  I 
could  ever  find  of  telling  my  Cousin  Dorothy  all  that  was 
in  my  heart  in  her  regard;  and  I  even  went  into  the  Great 
Chamber  after  her,  still  undecided.  But  her  manner  pre- 
vented me;  for  I  thought  I  saw  in  her  something  of  a  return 
of  that  same  shyness  which  she  had  shewed  to  me  when  I 
had  come  last  time  back  to  Hare  Street;  and  I  went  out 
again  without  saying  one  word  except  of  the  priest's  visit 
and  of  what  a  good  man  he  seemed. 

Even  then,  I  think,  if  I  had  spoken,  matters  might  have 
taken  a  very  different  course;  but,  whether  through  God's 
appointment  or  my  own  diffidence,  this  was  not  to  be;  and 
again  I  said  nothing  to  her. 


CHAPTER    IV 

OUR  next  adventure,  not  unlike  the  last  exteriorly,  was  very 
different  from  it  interiorly;  and  led  to  very  strange  results 
in  the  event.  It  came  about  in  this  way. 

It  was  in  May  that  Mr.  Hamerton  had  come  to  us,  for 
Easter  that  year  fell  in  that  month;  and  the  weather  after 
that,  which  had  been  very  bitter  in  the  winter,  with  so  much 
snow  as  I  never  saw  before,  but  clearer  about  Eastertime, 
fell  very  wet  and  stormy  again  in  June. 

It  was  on  a  Thursday  evening,  in  the  first  week  in  June,  that 
the  bad  weather  set  in  with  a  violent  storm  of  rain  and  a 
high  wind.  We  sat  in  the  Great  Chamber  after  supper,  and 
had  some  music  as  usual:  and  between  the  music  we  listened 
to  the  gusts  of  wind  and  the  rattle  of  the  rain,  which  made 
so  great  a  noise  that  Dolly  said  that  it  was  no  use  for  her 
to  go  to  bed  yet,  for  that  she  would  not  sleep  if  she  went. 
Her  maid  went  to  bed;  and  we  three  sat  talking  till  nearly 
half-past  ten  o'clock,  which  is  very  late  for  the  country  where 
men  rise  at  four  o'clock. 

The  wind  made  such  a  noise  that  we  heard  nothing  of  the 
approach  to  the  house;  and  the  first  that  we  knew  of  any- 
one's coming  was  a  hammering  at  the  door. 

"  Why,  who  is  that; "  said  I,  "  that  comes  so  late?  " 

I  could  see  that  my  Cousin  Tom  did  not  like  it,  for  his 
face  shewed  it — (I  suppose  it  was  the  memory  of  that  other 
time  when  the  hammering  came) — so  I  said  nothing,  but  went 
myself  to  the  outer  door  and  unbolted  it. 

A  fellow  stood  there  in  a  great  riding-cloak;  but  I  could 
see  he  wore  some  kind  of  a  livery  beneath. 

"Well,"  I  said,  "what  do  you  want?" 

He  saw  that  I  was  a  gentleman  by  my  dress;  and  he 
answered  me  very  civilly. 

"My  master  is  benighted,  sir/'  said  he;  "and  he  bid 
me  come  and  ask  whether  he  might  lie  here  to-night.  There 
is  no  inn  in  the  place." 

176 


ODDSFISH!  177 

"  Why,  who  is  your  master  ?  "  I  asked. 

He  did  not  seem  to  hear  my  question,  for  he  went  on 
immediately. 

"  There  are  only  five  of  the  party,  sir,"  he  said.  "  Two 
gentlemen  and  three  servants." 

I  saw  that  my  Cousin  Tom  was  behind  me  now;  and 
that  Dolly  was  looking  from  the  door  of  the  Great  Chamber. 

"  You  have  not  yet  told  us,"  I  said,  "  what  your  master's 
name  is." 

"  I  think,  sir,  he  had  best  answer  that,"  said  the  fellow. 

Now  this  might  very  well  be  a  Catholic,  and  perhaps  an 
important  person  who  had  heard  of  Mr.  Jermyn,  but  did  not 
wish  to  advertise  who  himself  was.  I  looked  at  my  Cousin 
Tom;  and  thought  from  his  look  that  the  same  thought  had 
come  to  him. 

"Well,  Cousin?"  I  said. 

"  They  had  best  come  in — "  he  said  shortly.  "  Dolly, 
rouse  some  of  the  servants.  They  will  want  supper,  I  sup- 
pose." 

He  nodded  to  the  man,  who  went  back  immediately;  and 
a  minute  later  two  gentlemen  came  up  the  flagged  path, 
also  in  great  cloaks  that  appeared  soaked  with  the  rain. 

"  By  God,  sir !  "  said  the  first  of  them,  "  we  are  grateful 
to  you.  This  is  a  wild  night." 

My  Cousin  Tom  said  something  civil,  and  when  the  door 
was  shut,  helped  this  man  off  with  his  cloak,  while  I  helped 
the  other.  The  former  was  explaining  all  the  while  how  they 
were  on  their  way  to  town  from  Newmarket;  and  how  they 
had  become  bogged  a  little  after  Barkway,  losing  their  road 
in  the  darkness.  They  had  intended  to  push  on  to  Waltham 
Cross,  he  said,  or  Ware  at  the  least,  and  lie  there.  He  spoke 
with  a  merry  easy  air  that  shewed  him  for  a  well-bred  and 
pleasant  fellow.  My  own  man  said  nothing,  but  left  it  all 
to  the  other. 

When  I  turned  to  see  the  one  who  spoke,  I  was  more  sur- 
prised than  ever  in  all  my  life  before;  for  it  was  no  other 
than  the  Duke  of  Monmouth  himself.  He  looked  a  shade 
older  than  when  I  had  last  seen  him  in  the  park  above  a 


178  ODDSFISH! 

year  ago;  but  he  was  the  very  same  and  I  could  not  mistake 
him.  As  for  me,  he  would  not  know  me  from  Adam,  for  he 
had  never  spoken  with  me  in  all  his  life.  I  did  not  know 
what  to  do,  as  to  whether  I  should  make  to  recognize  him  or 
not;  but  he  saved  me  the  trouble;  for  as  I  followed  the  others 
into  the  Great  Chamber,  he  was  already  speaking. 

"  It  is  very  good  of  you,  Mr.  Jermyn,"  he  said,  "  to  receive 
us  like  this.  My  name  is  Morton,  and  my  friend's  here  Mr. 
Atkins.  You  can  put  us  where  you  will — on  the  floor  if  you 
have  no  other  place/' 

"We  can  do  better  than  that,  sir,"  said  Tom.  "There 
is  only  my  daughter  here  and  Mr.  Mallock  my  cousin.  My 
daughter  is  gone  to  call  the  servants." 

The  Duke  looked  very  handsome  and  princely  as  he  stood 
on  the  hearth,  although  there  was  no  fire,  and  surveyed  the 
room.  He  was  in  a  dark  blue  riding-suit,  darker  than  it 
should  be  upon  the  shoulders  with  the  rain  that  had  soaked 
through  his  cloak;  but  it  was  of  the  colour  of  his  eyes  that 
were  very  fine  and  attractive;  and  he  wore  his  own  hair. 
The  other  man  looked  pretty  mean  beside  him;  and  yet 
he  was  not  ill-looking.  He  was  a  fair  man,  too,  with  a  rosy 
face;  in  a  buff  suit. 

"  We  can  manage  two  changes  of  clothes,  Mr.  Morton," 
went  on  my  Cousin  Tom,  "  if  you  fear  to  take  a  cold;  or  you 
can  sup  immediately;  as  you  will." 

"Why,  Mr.  Jermyn;  I  think  we  will  sup  first  and  go  to 
bed  afterwards.  The  clothes  can  be  dried,  no  doubt,  before 
morning." 

In  spite  of  all  his  efforts,  he  spoke  as  one  born  to  com- 
mand and  with  a  kind  of  easy  condescension  too;  and  cer- 
tainly this  had  its  effect  upon  poor  Tom;  for  he  was  all 
eagerness  and  welcome,  who  just  now  had  been  a  shade 
surly.  He  was  beginning  to  say  that  it  was  for  his  guests 
to  choose,  when  my  Cousin  Dolly  came  in  suddenly  through 
the  open  door. 

"Why  here  is  my  little  maid,  gentlemen — "  he  said;  and 
Dolly  did  her  reverence. 

Now  I  had  in  my  mind  no  thought  of  jealousy  at  all;  and 


ODDSFISH!  179 

yet  when  I  saw  how  the  Duke  bowed  to  my  cousin,  I  am 
bound  to  say  that  a  touch  of  it  pierced  me  like  a  dart — there 
and  gone  again,  I  thought.  But  it  had  been  there.  I  thought 
how  few  gentlemen  poor  Dolly  saw  down  here  in  Hare 
Street:  beyond  the  parson — and  he  was  a  man  who  would 
go  out  before  the  pudding  in  a  great  house,  and  marry  the 
lady's  maid — there  was  scarce  one  who  might  write  Esquire 
after  his  name;  and  the  breeding  of  most  of  the  squires  was 
mostly  rustical.  As  for  her,  she  did  her  reverence  very 
prettily,  without  a  trace  of  the  country  in  it;  and,  strange 
to  say,  her  manner  seemed  to  change.  I  mean  by  that,  that 
she  seemed  wholly  at  her  ease  in  this  new  kind  of  company, 
fully  as  much  as  with  her  maids. 

"  You  have  had  a  very  wet  ride,  sir,"  she  said,  without  any 
sign  of  confusion  or  shyness ;  "  the  maids  are  kindling  a 
fire  in  the  kitchen,  to  dry  your  clothes  before  morning:  and 
your  men  shall  have  beds  in  the  attic." 

The  Duke  made  a  pretty  answer,  which  she  took  as 
prettily. 

"  And  a  cold  supper  shall  be  in  immediately,"  she  said. 

Then  my  Cousin  Tom  must  needs  begin  upon  the  maid,  as 
if  she  were  a  child,  or  idiotic;  and  say  what  a  good  house- 
keeper his  little  maid  was  to  him,  and  how  she  could  do  so 
many  things;  and  the  Duke  took  it  all  with  courtesy,  yet  did 
not  encourage  it,  as  if  he  understood  her  ways  better  than 
her  father  did — which  was,  very  likely,  true  enough. 

"  And  you  come  up  to  London,  mistress,"  he  said,  "  no 
doubt,"  with  a  look  at  her  dress  that  was  not  at  all  insolent, 
and  yet  very  plain.  And  it  was  indeed  a  pretty  good  one; 
and  I  remember  it  very  well.  It  was  cut  like  a  French  sac — 
a  fashion  that  had  first  come  in  about  ten  years  before,  and 
still  lasted;  and  was  a  little  lower  at  the  throat  than  many 
that  she  wore.  It  was  of  a  brownish  kind  of  yellow,  of  which 
I  do  not  know  the  name,  and  had  white  lace  to  it,  and  silver 
lace  on  the  bodice.  She  was  sunburnt  again,  but  not  too 
much,  as  I  had  first  seen  her;  and  her  blue  eyes  looked  very 
bright  in  her  face;  and  she  wore  a  ring  on  either  hand,  as 
she  usually  did  in  the  evening,  and  had  her  little  pearls  round 


180  ODDSFISH! 

her  neck.  It  was  strange  to  me  how  I  observed  all  this,  so 
soon  as  the  Duke  had  drawn  attention  to  it;  whereas  I  had 
not  observed  it  particularly  before. 

When  we  went  into  supper  it  was  the  same  with  the  Duke 
and  her.  He  behaved  to  her  with  the  greatest  deference, 
yet  not  at  all  exaggerated  so  as  to  be  in  the  least  insolent. 
He  treated  her,  it  appeared  to  me,  as  he  would  have  treated 
one  of  his  own  ladies,  though  there  had  been  every  excuse, 
especially  with  Cousin  Tom's  way  of  speaking  to  her,  and 
the  deep  country  we  were  in,  if  he  had  not  noticed  her  at  all. 
Mr.  Atkins,  as  he  called  himself,  followed  suit;  but  said  very 
little.  Once,  when  the  dishes  had  to  be  taken  away,  and 
Dolly  rose  to  do  it — before  I  could  move — (my  Cousin  Tom, 
of  course,  sat  there  like  a  dummy) — I  observed  the  Duke 
make  a  little  movement  with  his  eyes  towards  Mr.  Atkins, 
who  immediately  rose  up  and  did  it  for  her. 

The  effect  of  all  this  upon  me  was  to  make  me  do  my  best 
in  talk;  but  it  was  not  very  easy  without  betraying  that 
I  knew  more  of  the  Court  than  might  be  supposed;  but  the 
Duke  outdid  me  every  time.  He  listened  with  the  greatest 
courtesy;  and  then  said  something  a  little  better.  I  think 
I  have  never  seen  a  man  do  better;  but  it  was  always  so 
with  him.  Five  years  later  he  won  the  hearts  of  all  the 
drapers  in  Taunton,  in  that  terrible  enterprise  of  his,  besides 
ranging  on  his  side  some  of  the  noblest  blood  in  England. 
Twenty-six  young  maids  in  that  town  gave  him  a  Bible  and 
a  pair  of  colours  worked  by  their  hands;  and  twenty-six 
young  maids,  it  was  said,  went  away  after  it  in  love  with  him. 
He  did  not  prove  himself  very  much  of  a  hero  in  the  field; 
but  from  his  manner  in  company  one  could  never  have  guessed 
at  that.  He  had  all  the  bearing  of  a  prince,  and  all  the 
charm  of  a  boy  with  it. 

My  Cousin  Tom  said  something  when  supper  was  ending 
about  Dolly's  skill  in  music;  and  how  she  and  her  maid  san| 
together. 

"  May  we  not  hear  it  for  ourselves  ?  "  asked  the  Duke. 

"  But  you  are  wet,  sir/'  said  my  Cousin  Tom. 


ODDSFISH!  181 

The  Duke  smiled. 

"  I  shall  not  think  of  that,  sir/'  he  said,  "  if  Mistress 
Dorothy  will  sing  to  us." 

Well;  so  it  was  settled.  The  maid  was  in  the  kitchen, 
and  was  presently  fetched;  and  she  and  Dolly  sang  together 
once  or  twice,  though  it  was  now  after  eleven  o'clock.  They 
sang  Mr.  Wise's  "Go,  perjured  man,"  I  remember,  again; 
and  then  M.  Grabu's  "  Song  upon  Peace."  The  Duke  sat 
still  in  the  great  chair,  shading  his  eyes  from  the  candlelight, 
and  watching  my  Cousin  Dolly:  and  once,  when  my  Cousin 
Tom  broke  in  upon  the  second  song  with  something  he  had 
just  thought  of  to  say,  he  put  him  aside  with  a  gesture,  very 
royal  and  commanding,  and  yet  void  of  offence,  until  the 
song  was  done. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  Mr.  Jermyn,"  he  said  a  moment  after- 
wards, "  but  I  have  never  been  so  entranced.  What  was  it 
that  you  wished  to  say  ?  " 

As  Dolly  came  towards  him  he  stood  up. 

"  Mistress  Dorothy,"  he  said,  "  you  have  given  us  a  great 
deal  of  pleasure."  And  he  said  this  with  so  much  gravity 
and  feeling  that  she  flushed.  It  was  the  first  evident  sign 
she  had  given  that  he  had  pleased  her. 

"  And  I  mean  it,"  he  went  on,  "  when  I  say  it  is  a  pity 
you  do  not  come  to  town  more  oftena  Such  singing  as  that 
should  have  a  larger  audience  than  the  two  or  three  you  have 
tiad  to-night." 

Dolly  smiled  at  him. 

"  Thank  you,  sir,"  she  said.  "  But  I  know  my  place  bet- 
ter than  that." 

This  was  all  a  little  bitter  to  me;  for  by  this  time  a  wild 
kind  of  jealousy  had  risen  again  in  me  which  I  knew  to  be 
unreasonable,  and  yet  could  not  check.  It  was  true  that  I 
myself  took  the  greatest  pains  never  to  forget  my  manners; 
but  I  knew  very  well  that  novelty  has  a  pleasantness  all  of 
its  own;  and  the  novelty  of  such  company  as  this,  charged 
with  the  peculiar  charm  of  the  Duke's  manner,  must  surely, 
I  thought,  have  its  effect  upon  her. 


182  ODDSFISH! 

"  Well/'  said  he,  "  I  could  spend  all  night  in  this  chamber 
with  such  music;  but  I  must  not  keep  Mistress  Dorothy  from 
her  sleep  another  moment/' 

He  kissed  her  fingers  with  the  greatest  grace,  and  then 
bowed  by  the  door  as  she  went  out. 

When  we  had  taken  them  to  the  great  guest-room  that  was 
as  large,  very  nearly,  as  the  Great  Chamber,  and  over  it,  and 
bidden  them  good-night,  my  Cousin  Tom  remembered  that  we 
had  forgotten  to  ask  Mr.  Morton  at  what  time  he  must  ride 
in  the  morning;  so  I  went  back  again  to  ask. 

I  stayed  at  the  door  for  one  instant  after  knocking,  for  it 
seemed  they  had  not  heard  me;  and  in  that  little  interval 
I  heard  the  Duke's  voice  within,  very  distinct. 

"  A  damned  pretty  wench,"  he  cried.     "  We  must " 

And  at  that  I  opened  the  door  and  went  in,  my  jealousy 
suddenly  flaming  up  again,  so  that  I  lost  my  wits. 

They  stared  at  me  in  astonishment.  The  Duke  already 
was  stripped  to  his  shirt  by  one  of  the  beds. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  Sir,"  I  said.  "  But  at  what  hour 
will  Your  Grace  have  the  horses  ?  " 

Mr.  Atkins  wheeled  round  full  upon  me;  and  the  Duke's 
mouth  opened  a  little.  Then  the  Duke  burst  into  a  fit  of 
laughter. 

"  By  God,  sir ! "  he  said.  "  You  have  detected  us.  How 
long  have  you  known  it  ?  " 

"  From  the  moment  Your  Grace  took  off  your  hat,"  I  said. 

He  laughed  again,  highly  and  merrily. 

"  Well;  no  harm  is  done,"  he  said.  "  We  took  other  names 
to  make  matters  easier  for  all.  You  have  told  Mr.  Jermyn  ?  " 

"  No,  sir,"  I  said. 

"  I  beg  of  you  not  to  do  so/'  he  said.  "  It  will  spoil  all. 
Nor  Mistress  Dorothy.  It  is  far  easier  to  do  without  cere- 
mony now  and  again." 

I  bowed  again;  but  I  said  nothing. 

"  Then  you  may  as  well  know,"  said  the  Duke,  "  that  Mr. 
Atkins  is  none  other  than  my  Lord  of  Essex.  We  have 
been  at  Newmarket  together." 


ODDSFISH!  183 

I  bowed  to  my  lord,  and  he  to  me. 

"Well— the  horses,"  said  Monmouth.  "At  eight  o'clock, 
if  you  please." 

I  said  nothing  to  Tom,  for  I  was  very  uncertain  what  to 
do;  and  though  I  was  mad  with  anger  at  what  I  had  heard 
the  Duke  say  as  I  waited  at  the  door — (though  now  I  cannot 
say  that  there  was  any  great  harm  in  the  words  themselves) 
— I  still  kept  my  wits  enough  to  know  that  I  was  too  angry 
to  judge  fairly.  I  lay  awake  a  long  time  that  night,  turning 
from  side  to  side  after  that  I  had  heard  the  wet  clothes  of 
our  guests  carried  downstairs  to  be  dried  by  morning  before 
the  fire.  It  was  all  a  mighty  innocent  matter,  so  far  as  it 
had  gone;  but  I  would  not  see  that.  I  told  myself  that 
a  man  of  the  Duke's  quality  should  not  come  to  a  little  coun- 
try-house under  an  alias,  even  if  he  had  been  bogged  ten 
times  over;  that  he  should  not  make  pretty  speeches  to  a 
country  maid  and  kiss  her  fingers,  and  hold  open  the  door 
for  her,  even  though  all  these  things  or  some  of  them  were 
just  what  I  had  done  myself.  Frankly,  I  understand  now 
that  no  harm  was  meant;  that  every  word  the  Duke  had  said 
was  true,  and  that  it  was  but  natural  for  him  to  try  to  please 
all  across  whom  he  came;  but  I  would  not  see  it  at  the  time. 

On  the  next  morning  when  I  came  downstairs  early  it 
seemed  to  me  that  my  Cousin  Dorothy  was  herself  down- 
stairs too  early  for  mere  good  manners.  The  guests  were 
not  yet  stirring;  yet  the  maids  were  up,  and  the  ale  set  out 
in  the  dining-room,  and  the  smell  of  hot  oat-cake  came  from 
the  kitchen.  There  were  flowers  also  upon  the  table;  and 
my  cousin  was  in  a  pretty  brown  dress  of  hers  that  she  did 
not  wear  very  often. 

I  looked  upon  her  rather  harshly;  and  I  think  she  observed 
it;  for  she  said  nothing  to  me  as  she  went  about  her  business. 

I  went  out  into  the  stable-yard  to  see  the  horses;  and 
found  my  Cousin  Tom  there  already,  admiring  them;  and 
indeed  they  were  fine,  especially  a  great  dappled  grey  that 
was  stamping  under  the  brush  of  the  fellow  who  had  first 
knocked  at  our  door  last  night. 

"  That  is  Mr.  Morton's  horse,  I  suppose  ?  "  said  Tom. 


184  ODDSFISH! 

"The  man  who  was  grooming  him  did  not  speak;  and  Tom 
repeated  his  question. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  the  man,  with  a  queer  look  which  I  under- 
stood, though  Tom  did  not,  "  this  is  Mr.  Morton's/' 

"  And  the  chestnut  is  Mr.  Atkins'  ?  "  asked  my  cousin. 

"  Just  so,  sir ;  Mr.  Atkins'/'  said  the  man,  with  the  corners 
of  his  mouth  twitching. 

The  grinning  ape — as  I  thought  him — very  nearly  set  me 
off  into  saying  that  I  knew  all  about  it;  and  that  the  yellow 
saddle-cloth  was  the  colour  the  Duke  of  Monmouth  used 
always;  but  I  did  not.  It  appeared  to  me  then  the  worst 
of  manners  that  these  personages  should  come  and  make  a 
mock  of  country-folk,  so  that  even  the  servants  laughed  at 
us. 

Our  guests  were  downstairs  when  I  came  in  again,  and 
talking  very  merrily  to  my  Cousin  Dorothy,  who  was  as  much 
at  her  ease  as  last  night.  The  Duke  sneezed  once  or  twice. 

"  You  have  taken  a  cold,  sir,"  said  Dolly. 

"  It  was  in  a  good  cause,"  he  said ;  and  sneezed  again. 

"Salute;'  said  I. 

He  gave  me  a  quick  look,  astonished,  I  suppose,  that  a 
rustic  should  know  the  Italian  ways. 

et  Grazie,"  said  he,  smiling.  "  You  have  been  in  Italy,  Mr. 
Mallock?" 

"  Oh !  I  have  been  everywhere,"  I  said,  with  a  foolish  idea 
of  making  him  respect  me. 

When  they  rode  away  at  last,  we  all  stood  at  the  gate  to 
watch  them  go.  The  storm  had  cleared  away  wonderfully; 
and  the  air  was  fresh  and  summerlike,  and  ten  thousand 
jewels  sparkled  on  the  limes.  They  made  a  very  gallant 
cavalcade.  The  horses  had  recovered  from  their  weariness, 
for  they  were  finely  bred,  all  five  of  them;  and  the  Duke's 
horse  especially  was  full  of  spirit,  and  curvetted  a  little, 
with  pleasure  and  the  strength  of  our  corn,  as  he  went  along. 
The  servants'  liveries  too  were  gay  and  pleasant  to  the  eye: 
— (they  were  not  the  Duke's  own  liveries;  for  when  he  went 


ODDSFISH!  185 

about  outside  town  he  used  a  plainer  sort) — and  the  Duke's 
dark  blue,  with  his  fair  curls  and  his  great  hat  which  he 
waved  as  he  went,  and  my  Lord  Essex's  spruce  figure  in  his 
buff,  all  made  a  very  pretty  picture  as  they  went  up  the 
village  street. 

It  was  this,  I  think,  and  my  Cousin  Dolly's  silence  as  she 
looked  after  them,  that  determined  me;  and  as  we  three 
went  back  again  up  the  flagged  path  to  the  house,  and  the 
servants  round  again  to  the  yard,  I  spoke. 

"  Cousin  Tom,"  I  said.  "  Do  you  wish  to  know  who  our 
guests  were  ?  " 

He  looked  at  me  in  astonishment,  and  my  Cousin  Dolly 
too. 

"  Mr.  Morton  is  the  Duke  of  Monmouth,"  I  said,  "  and 
Mr.  Atkins,  my  Lord  Essex." 


CHAPTER    V 

IT  was  a  long  time  before  my  Cousin  Tom  recovered  from 
his  astonishment  and  his  pleasure  at  having  entertained  such 
personages  in  his  house.  He  told  me,  of  course,  presently, 
when  he  had  had  time  to  think  of  it,  that  he  had  guessed  it 
all  along,  but  had  understood  that  His  Grace  wished  to  be 
incognito;  and  I  suppose  at  last  he  came  to  believe  it.  He 
would  fall  suddenly  musing  in  the  evenings;  and  I  would 
know  what  he  was  thinking  of;  and  it  was  piteously  amusing 
to  see,  how  one  night  again,  not  long  after,  he  rose  and 
ran  to  the  door  when  a  drunken  man  knocked  upon  it,  and 
what  ill  words  he  gave  him  when  he  saw  who  it  was.  His 
was  a  slow-moving  mind;  and  I  think  he  could  not  have 
formed  the  project,  which  he  afterwards  carried  out,  while 
I  was  with  him,  or  he  must  have  let  it  out  to  me. 

It  was  a  little  piteous,  too,  to  see  with  what  avidity  he 
seized  upon  any  news  of  the  Duke,  and  how  his  natural 
inclinations  and  those  consonant  with  his  religion  strove  with 
his  new-found  loyalty  to  a  bastard.  A  week  or  two  later  we 
had  news  of  the  attempt  made  by  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  to 
injure  the  Duke  of  York's  cause  by  presenting  his  name  as 
that  of  a  recusant,  to  the  Middlesex  grand  jury.  It  was  a 
mighty  bold  thing  to  do,  and  though  the  attempt  failed  so 
far  as  that  the  judges  dismissed  the  jury  while  they  were 
still  deliberating,  it  shewed  how  little  my  Lord  feared  the 
Duke  or  His  Majesty  and  how  much  resolved  he  was  to  estab- 
lish, if  he  could,  the  Protestant  succession  and  the  Duke 
of  Monmouth's  pretended  claim  to  it.  A  deal  of  nonsense, 
too,  was  talked  at  this  time  of  how  the  Duke  was  truly  legiti- 
mate, and  how  Mistress  Lucy  Walters  had  been  secretly 
married  to  the  King,  before  ever  poor  Queen  Catherine  had 
been  heard  of;  and  the  proofs  of  all  this,  it  was  reported, 
were  in  a  certain  Black  Box  that  no  one  had  ever  set  eyes 

186 


ODDSFISH!  187 

on;  and  the  matter  became  so  much  a  thing  of  ridicule  that 
once  at  the  play,  I  think,  when  one  of  the  actors  carried 
on  a  black  box,  there  was  a  roar  of  laughter  and  jeering  from 
the  pit. 

It  was  wonderful  to  hear  my  Cousin  Tom  hold  forth  upon 
the  situation. 

One  evening  in  September,  two  months  after  our  adventure 
of  the  Duke's  coming,  after  a  long  silence,  he  made  a  little 
discourse  upon  it  all. 

"  I  should  not  be  surprised,"  said  he,  "  if  there  was  more 
in  the  tale  than  most  men  think.  It  is  not  likely  that  the 
proofs  of  the  marriage  would  be  easy  to  come  by,  in  such  a 
case;  for  Mistress  Walters,  whom  I  think  I  once  saw  at 
Tunbridge  Wells,  was  not  at  all  of  the  King's  position  even 
by  blood;  and  it  is  less  likely  that  His  Majesty,  who  was  but 
a  very  young  man  at  that  time,  would  have  stood  out  against 
her  when  she  wished  marriage.  Besides  there  is  no  doubt 
that  he  knew  her  long  before  there  was  any  prospect  of  his 
coming  to  the  throne.  Then  too  there  has  always  appeared, 
to  my  mind  at  least,  something  in  the  Duke's  bearing  and 
carriage  that  it  would  be  very  hard  for  a  bastard  to  have. 
He  has  a  very  princely  air." 

To  such  talk  as  this  I  would  make  no  answer;  but  I  would 
watch  my  Cousin  Dorothy's  face;  and  think  that  I  read 
there  something  that  I  did  not  like — an  interest  that  she 
should  not  feel:  and,  after  a  pause  my  Cousin  Tom  would 
proceed  in  his  conjectures. 

It  was  on  the  day  following  this  particular  discourse,  which 
I  remember  very  well,  for  my  jealousy  had  so  much  worked 
up  that  I  was  very  near  breaking  my  resolution  and  telling 
my  Cousin  Dolly  all  that  was  in  my  heart,  that  a  letter  came 
for  me  from  Mr.  Chiffinch,  so  significant  that  I  will  write 
down  some  sentences  of  it. 

"  His  Maj  esty  bids  me  to  write  to  you  to  come  up  to  town 
again  for  a  few  days.  He  thinks  that  you  may  perhaps  be 
of  some  use  with  His  Royal  Highness  to  urge  him  to  go  back 
to  Scotland  again,  which  at  present  he  vows  that  he  will  not 
do.  His  Majesty  is  aware  that  the  Duke  scarcely  knows  you 


188  ODDSFISH! 

at  all;  yet  he  tells  me  to  say  this,  and  that  I  will  explain  tc 
you  when  you  come  how  you  can  be  of  service.     There  will  be 
a  deal  of  trouble  this  autumn;  the  Parliament  is  to  meet  in  j 
October,  and  will  be  in  a  very  ill-humour,  it  is  thought." 

There  was  a  little  more  of  this  sort;  and  then  came  a 
sentence  or  two  that  roused  my  anger. 

"  I  have  heard  much  here  of  your  entertainment  of  the 
Duke  of  Monmouth,  and  of  what  a  pretty  girl  your  cousin  is. 
His  Majesty  laughed  very  much  when  he  heard  of  it;  and 
swears  that  he  suspects  you  of  going  over  to  the  Protestant 
side  after  all.  The  Duke  knows  nothing  of  what  you  are,  or 
of  anything  you  have  done;  but  he  has  talked  freely  of  his 
entertainment  at  Hare  Street,  thinking  it,  I  suppose,  to  be  a 
Protestant  house.  In  public  the  King  has  had  nothing  to 
say  to  him;  but  he  loves  him  as  much  as  ever,  and  would  not, 
I  think  be  very  sorry,  in  his  heart,  though  he  never  says  so, 
if  he  were  to  be  declared  legitimate.'* 

This  made  me  angry  then,  for  what  the  letter  said  as  to  the 
Duke  of  Monmouth's  talk;  and  it  disconcerted  me  too,  for,  if 
the  King  himself  were  to  join  the  popular  party,  there  would 
be  little  hope  of  the  Catholic  succession.  The  Duchess  of 
Portsmouth,  also,  I  had  heard,  had  lately  become  of  that  side ; 
and  I  dared  say  it  was  she  who  had  talked  His  Majesty  round. 

Now  my  Cousin  Tom  knew  that  I  had  had  this  letter,  for 
he  had  seen  the  courier  bring  it;  but  he  did  not  know  from 
whom  it  came;  and,  as  already  he  was  a  little  suspicious,  I 
thought,  of  what  I  did  in  town,  I  thought  it  best  to  tell  him 
that  it  was  from  a  friend  at  Court;  and  what  it  said  as  to 
the  Duke  of  Monmouth's  talk,  hoping  that  this  perhaps  might 
offend  him  against  the  Duke.  But  it  had  the  very  opposite 
effect,  much  to  my  discomfiture. 

"  His  Grace  says  that,  does  he  ? "  he  said,  smiling, 
am  sure  it  is  very  courteous   of  him  to  remember  his   poor 
entertainment";   and    (Dolly   coming  in  at  this  instant)    he 
told  her  too  what  the  Duke  had  said. 

"  Hear  what  the  Duke  of  Monmouth  hath  been  saying,  my 
dear!  He  says  you  are  a  mighty  pretty  girl." 

And  Dolly,  greatly  to  my  astonishment,  did  not  seem  dis- 


ODDSFISH!  189 

pleased,  as  soon  as  she  had  heard  the  tale;  for  she  laughed 
and   said  nothing. 

As  I  rode  tip  to  London  next  day  in  answer  to  my  summons, 
I  was  wondering  how  in  the  world  I  could  be  of  service  to 
the  Duke  of  York.  As  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  said,  I  knew  next 
to  nothing  of  him,  nor  he  of  me;  but  when  I  was  gone  round 
to  the  page's  rooms  the  morning  after  I  came,  he  told  me 
something  of  the  reasons  for  which  I  had  been  summoned. 

"  Such  Jesuits  as  are  left,"  he  said,  "  and  the  Duke's  con- 
fessor among  them,  seem  all  of  opinion  that  the  Duke  had 
best  remain  in  London  and  fight  it  out.  We  hear,  without 
a  doubt,  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury,  who  seems  most  desperate, 
will  bring  in  the  Exclusion  Bill  again  this  Session;  and  the 
priests  say  that  it  is  best  for  His  Royal  Highness  to  be  here; 
and  to  plead  again  for  himself  as  he  did  so  well  two  years 
ago.  His  Majesty  on  the  other  hand  is  honestly  of  opinion 
— and  I  would  sooner  trust  to  his  foresight  than  to  all  the 
Jesuits  in  the  world — that  he  himself  can  fight  better  for  his 
brother  if  that  brother  be  in  Scotland;  for  out  of  sight,  out  of 
mind.  And  he  desires  you,  as  a  Catholic,  yet  not  a  priest, 
to  go  and  talk  to  the  Duke  on  that  side.  He  hath  sent  half 
a  dozen  to  him  already;  and,  since  he  knows  that  the  Duke 
is  aware  of  what  you  have  done  in  France,  he  thinks  that  your 
word  may  tip  the  balance.  For  the  Duke,  I  think,  is  in  two 
minds,  beneath  all  his  protestations." 

For  myself,  I  was  of  His  Majesty's  opinion;  for  the  sight 
of  the  Duke  irritated  folk  who  had  not  yet  forgotten  the 
Gates  Plot;  and  I  consented  very  willingly  to  go  and  see  him. 

I  was  astonished  to  find  that  by  now  I  had  really  become 
something  of  a  personage  myself,  amongst  those  few  who  had 
heard  what  I  had  done  in  France;  and  I  was  received  by  His 
Royal  Highness  in  his  lodgings  after  supper  that  evening  with 
i  very  different  air  from  that  which  he  had  when  I  had  last 
spoken  with  him. 

The  Duke  was  pacing  up  and  down  his  closet  when  I  came 
in,  and  turned  to  me  with  a  very  friendly  manner. 


190  ODDSFISH! 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  when  I  had  saluted  him  and  was 
sat  down,  "I  am  very  glad  to  see  you.  His  Majesty  has 
told  me  all  that  you  have  done,  and  has  urged  me  to  see 
you,  as  you  are  devoted  as  I  know,  to  the  Catholic  cause, 
and  know  the  world  too;  and  men's  minds.  Do  you  think 
I  should  go  or  stay  ?  " 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  my  opinion  is  that  you  should  go.  There 
is  a  quantity  of  disaffection  in  town.  I  have  met  with  a  good 
deal  of  it  myself.  If  Your  Royal  Highness  is  to  be  seen 
continually  going  about,  that  disaffection  will  be  kept  alive. 
Men  are  astonishingly  stupid.  They  act,  largely,  upon  that 
which  they  see,  not  on  that  which  they  know:  and  by  going 
to  Scotland  you  will  meet  them  both  ways.  They  will  not 
see  Your  Highness  at  all;  and  all  that  they  will  know  of  you 
is  that  you  are  doing  the  King's  work  and  helping  the  whole 
kingdom  in  Edinburgh." 

"  But  they  say  I  torture  folks  there !  "  said  the  Duke. 

"  They  say  so,  Sir.  They  will  say  anything.  But  not  a 
reasonable  man  believes  it." 

(It  was  true,  indeed,  that  such  gossip  went  about;  but  the 
substance  of  it  was  ridiculous.  Good  fighters  do  not  torture; 
and  no  one  denied  to  the  Duke  the  highest  pitch  of  personal 
courage.  He  had  fought  with  the  greatest  gallantry  against 
the  Dutch.) 

He  said  nothing  to  that;  but  sat  brooding. 

His  closet  was  a  very  magnificent  chamber;  but  not  so 
magnificent  as  he  who  sat  in  it.  He  was  but  just  come  from 
supper,  and  wore  his  orders  on  his  coat;  but  all  his  dress 
could  not  distract  those  who  looked  at  him  from  that  kingly 
Stuart  face  that  he  had.  He  was,  perhaps,  the  heaviest 
looking  of  them  all,  with  not  a  tithe  of  Monmouth's  brilliant 
charm,  or  the  King's  melancholy  power;  yet  he  too  had  the 
air  of  command  and  more  than  a  touch  of  that  strange  ro- 
mance which  they  all  had.  Until  that  blood  is  diluted  down 
to  nothing,  I  think  that  a  Stuart  will  always  find  men  to  love 
and  to  die  for  him.  But  it  was  Stuart  against  Stuart  this 
time;  so  who  could  tell  with  whom  the  victory  would  lie? 


ODDSFISH!  191 

So  I  was  thinking  to  myself,  when  suddenly  the  Duke 
looked  up. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  I  hear  that  you  have  a  very 
persuasive  manner  with  both  men  and  women.  There  is  an 
exceedingly  difficult  commission  which  I  wish  you  would  exe- 
cute for  me.  You  have  spoken  with  the  Duchess  of  Ports- 
mouth?" 

"  Never,  Sir,"  I  said.  "  I  have  seen  Her  Grace  in  the 
park  only." 

"  Well ;  she  has  thrown  her  weight  against  me  with  the 
King.  God  knows  why!  But  I  wonder  you  have  not  met 
her?" 

"  Sir,  I  never  go  to  Court,  by  His  Majesty's  wish." 

"Yes,"  he  said.  "But  Her  Grace  is  the  King's  chief 
agent  in  his  French  affairs;  and  you  are  in  them  too,  I  hear. 
But  that  is  His  Majesty's  way;  he  uses  each  singly,  and 
never  two  together  if  he  can  help  it."  (This  was  perfectly 
true,  and  explained  a  good  deal  to  me.  I  had  heard  much  of 
the  Duchess  in  France,  but  nothing  at  all  of  her  from  the 
King.) 

"  Well,"  continued  the  Duke,  "  I  wish  you  would  see  her 
for  me,  Mr.  Mallock;  and  try  to  get  from  her  why  she  is  so 
hot  against  me.  She  is  a  Catholic,  as  you  are,  and  she 
should  not  be  so.  But  she  is  all  on  fire  for  Monmouth  and 
the  Protestant  succession;  and  she  is  all  powerful  with  the 
King." 

"  I  shall  be  happy  to  do  what  I  can,  Sir,"  said  I,  "  but  I 
do  not  suppose  Her  Grace  will  confide  in  me." 

"  I  know  that,"  he  said,  "  but  you  may  pick  up  something. 
You  are  the  fourth  I  have  sent  on  that  errand,  and  nothing 
come  of  it." 

We  talked  a  while  longer  on  these  affairs,  myself  more  and 
more  astonished  at  the  confidence  given  me  (but  I  think 
now  that  it  was  because  the  Duke  had  so  few  that  he  could 
trust) ;  and  when  I  took  my  leave  it  was  with  a  letter  written 
and  signed  and  sealed  by  the  Duke,  which  I  was  to  present 
at  Her  Grace's  lodgings  immediately. 


192  ODDSFISH! 

The  Duchess,  at  this  time,  was,  I  think,  the  most  powerful 
figure  in  England;  since  her  influence  over  the  King  was 
unbounded.  She  had  come  to  England  ten  years  ago  as 
Charles'  mistress,  a  good  and  simple  maid  in  the  beginning, 
as  I  believe,  and  of  good  Breton  parents,  who  would  not 
let  her  go  to  the  French  Court,  yet  were  persuaded  to  let 
her  go  to  the  English — where,  God  help  her!  she  soon  ceased 
to  be  either  good  or  simple.  In  the  year  seventy-two  she  was 
created  Duchess  of  Portsmouth  who  up  to  that  time  had 
been  the  Breton  woman  Madame  Keroual  (or,  as  she  was 
called  in  England  Madam  Carwell).  Three  years  later  her 
son  had  been  made  Duke  of  Richmond.  At  the  time  of  the 
Popish  Plot  she  had  been  terrified  of  her  life,  and  it  was  only 
at  the  King's  persuasion  that  she  remained  in  England.  I 
cannot  say  that  she  was  popular  with  the  people,  for  her 
coach  was  cried  after  pretty  often  unless  she  had  her  guards 
with  her;  and  this  always  threw  her  into  paroxysms  of  ter- 
ror. Yet  she  remained  in  England,  and  was  treated  as  of 
royal  blood  both  by  Charles  who  loved  her,  and  James  who 
feared  her. 

A  couple  of  days  later  I  received  a  message  to  say  that  Her 
Grace  would  receive  me  after  supper  on  that  same  evening: 
so  I  put  on  my  finest  suit,  and  set  out  in  a  hired  coach. 

The  Duchess  lived  at  this  time  in  lodgings  at  the  end  of 
the  Great  Gallery  in  Whitehall;  and  I  think  that  of  all  the 
apartments  I  had  ever  set  eyes  on — even  the  royal  lodgings 
themselves — this  was  the  finest;  and  no  wonder,  for  they  had 
been  pulled  down  two  or  three  times  before  she  was  satis- 
fied, thus  fulfilling  the  old  proverb  of  Setting  a  Beggar  on 
Horseback.  I  was  made  to  wait  awhile  in  an  outer  cham- 
ber, all  as  if  she  were  royal;  and  I  examined  the  pieces  of 
furniture  there,  and  there  was  nothing  in  the  Queen's  own 
lodging  to  approach  to  them — so  massy  was  the  plate  and 
so  great  and  exquisitely  carved  the  tables  and  chairs.  When 
I  was  taken  through  at  last  by  a  fellow  dressed  in  a  livery 
like  the  King's  own,  the  next  room,  where  I  was  bidden  to 
sit  down,  was  full  as  fine.  There  was  a  quantity  of  tapestry 
upon  the  walls,  of  new  French  fabric,  so  resembling  paintings 


ODDSFISH!  193 

that  I  had  to  touch  before  I  was  sure  of  them — of  Versailles, 
and  St.  Germain,  with  hunting  pieces  and  landscapes  and 
exotic  fowls.  There  were  Japan  cabinets,  screens  and  pen- 
dule  clocks,  and  a  great  quantity  of  plate,  all  of  silver,  as 
well  as  were  the  sconces  that  held  the  candles;  and  the 
ceilings  were  painted  all  over,  as  were  His  Majesty's  own,  I 
suppose  by  Verrio. 

As  I  sat  there,  considering  what  I  should  say  to  her,  I 
heard  music  continually  through  one  of  the  doors;  and  when 
at  last  it  was  flung  open  and  my  Lady  came  through,  she 
brought,  as  it  were,  a  gust  of  music  with  her. 

I  bowed  very  low,  as  I  had  been  instructed,  in  spite  of  the 
character  of  the  woman,  and  then  I  kneeled  to  kiss  her  hand. 
Then  she  sat  down,  and  left  me  standing,  like  a  servant. 

She  appeared  at  that  time  to  be  about  thirty  years  old, 
though  I  think  she  was  far  beyond  this;  but  she  had  a  won- 
derfully childish  face,  very  artfully  painted  and  darkened  by 
the  eyes.  I  cannot  deny,  however,  that  she  was  very  hand- 
some indeed,  and  well  set-off  by  her  jewels  and  her  silver- 
lace  gown,  cut  very  low  so  as  to  shew  her  dazzling  skin. 
Her  fingers  too,  when  I  kissed  them,  were  but  one  mass  of 
gems.  Her  first  simplicity  was  gone,  indeed. 

I  loathed  this  work  that  I  was  sent  on;  since  it  forced  me 
to  be  civil  to  this  spoiled  creature,  instead  of,  as  I  should 
have  wished,  naming  her  for  what  she  was,  to  her  face. 
However,  that  had  been  done  pretty  often  by  the  mob;  so  I 
doubt  if  I  could  have  told  her  anything  she  did  not  know 
already.  Her  voice  was  set  very  low  and  was  a  little  rough; 
yet  it  was  not  ugly  at  all.  She  spoke  in  French;  and  so 
did  I. 

"Well,  Mr.  Mallock,"  she  said,  "I  have  company;  but  I 
did  not  wish  to  refuse  another  of  His  Royal  Highness's  am- 
bassadors. What  is  the  matter  now,  if  you  please  ?  " 

Now  I  knew  that  this  kind  of  personage  loved  flattery — 
for  it  was  nothing  but  this  that  had  ruined  her — and  that  it 
could  scarcely  be  too  thick:  so  I  framed  my  first  sentences 
in  that  key:  for,  after  all,  my  first  business  was  to  please 
her. 


194  ODDSFISH! 

"  His  Royal  Highness  is  desolated,  madam/'  I  said,  "  be- 
cause he  thinks  he  has  displeased  you." 

"  Displeased  me !  "  she  cried.  "  Why,  what  talk  is  this  o 
a  Prince  to  a  poor  Frenchwoman?  " 

She  smiled  very  unpleasantly  as  she  said  this;  and  nearly 
all  the  time  I  was  with  her,  her  eyes  were  running  up  am 
down  my  figure.  I  was  wearing  a  good  ring  or  two  also,  anc 
my  sword-hilt  was  very  prettily  set  with  diamonds;  and  she 
always  had  an  eye  for  such  things. 

"  There  can  be  no  talk  of  Prince  and  subject,  madam,' 
I  said,  "  when  Her  Grace  of  Portsmouth  is  in  question." 

She  smiled  once  more;  and  I  saw  that  she  liked  this  kinc 
of  talk.  So  I  gave  her  plenty  of  it. 

"La!  la!"  she  said.  "This  is  very  pretty  talk.  Wha 
is  your  business,  sir,  if  you  please  ?  " 

"  It  is  what  I  have  said,  madam;  and  nothing  else  upon 
my  honour!  His  Royal  Highness  is  seriously  discomposed.' 

"  Then  why  does  he  not  come  to  see  me,  and  ask  me  him 
self?"  snapped  my  Lady.  "He  hath  not  been  these  three 
months  back.  Why  does  he  send  a — a  messenger  ?  " 

(She   was    on   the   very   point   of   saying  servant;   and   i 
pleased  me  that  she  had  not  done  so.     I  noted  also  in  m; 
mind  that  wounded  vanity  was  one  of  the  reasons  for  her 
behaviour,  as  it  usually  is  with  a  woman.) 

"  Madam,"  I  said,  "  His  Royal  Highness  does  not  come, 
I  am  sure,  because  he  does  not  know  how  he  would  be  re- 
ceived. It  seems  that  Your  Grace's  favour  is  given  to  an- 
other, altogether,  now." 

"  God  bless  us !  "  said  the  Duchess.  "  Why  not  say  Mon 
mouth  and  be  done  with  it  ?  " 

"It  is  Your  Grace  who  has  named  him,"  I  said:  "  bui 
the  Duke  of  Monmouth  is  the  very  man." 

She  gave  a  great  flirt  to  her  fan;  and  I  saw  by  her  face 
what  I  had  suspected  before,  that  it  was  not  only  with  musi< 
that  she  was  intoxicated.  Then  she  jerked  her  pretty  head. 

"  Sit  down,  sir,"  she  said ;  and  when  I  had  done  so,  pleasec 
at  the  progress  I  was  making,  she  told  me  everything  I  wante< 
to  know,  though  she  did  not  think  so  herself. 


ODDSFISH!  195 

"See  here,  Mr.  Mallock:  You  appear  an  intelligent  kind 
of  man.  Now  ask  yourself  a  question  or  two,  and  you  will 
know  all  that  I  know  myself.  What  kind  of  a  chance,  think 
you,  has  a  Catholic  as  King  of  England,  as  against  a  Prot- 
estant; and  what  kind  of  a  chance,  think  you,  has  the  Duke 
of  York  beside  the  Duke  of  Monmouth?  I  speak  freely,  be- 
cause from  your  having  come  on  this  errand,  I  suppose  you 
are  a  man  that  can  be  trusted.  I  wonder  you  have  not  seen 
it  for  yourself.  His  Royal  Highness  has  no  tact — no  aplomb: 
he  sets  all  against  him  by  his  lordly  ways.  He  could  not 
make  a  friend  of  any  man,  to  save  his  life:  he  can  never 
forget  his  royalty.  He  sulks  there  in  his  lodgings,  and  will 
not  even  come  to  see  a  poor  Frenchwoman.  And  now,  sir, 
you  know  all  that  I  know  myself." 

The  woman's  ill-breeding  came  out  very  plainly  when  she 
spoke;  and  I  remember  even  then  wondering  that  His  Majesty 
could  make  so  much  of  her.  But  it  is  often  the  way  that 
men  of  good  breeding  can  never  see  its  lack  in  others,  espe- 
cially in  women:  or  will  not.  However  I  concealed  all  this 
from  Her  Grace,  and  let  go  more  of  my  courtesy. 

"  But,  madam,"  I  said,  "  with  all  the  goodwill  in  the  world 
it  is  Versailles  to  a  china  orange  that  His  Royal  Highness 
will  succeed  in  the  event.  I  do  not  say  that  he  will  make  as 
good  a  King  as  the  Duke  of  Monmouth,  nor  that  his  being  a 
Catholic  will  be  anything  but  a  disadvantage  to  him;  but 
disadvantages  or  no,  if  he  is  King,  it  is  surely  better  to  be 
upon  his  side,  and  help,  not  hinder  him." 

I  would  not  have  dared  to  say  such  a  thing  to  a  respectable 
woman;  for  it  advised  her,  almost  without  disguise,  to  look 
to  her  own  advantage  only. 

She  gave  me  a  sharp  look. 

"  That  is   where  we  are  not  agreed,"  said  she. 

I  made  a  little  despairing  gesture  with  my  hands. 

"  Well,  madam — if  you  do  not  accept  facts " 

"  Why  do  you  think  the  Duke  of  York  is  so  sure  to  suc- 
ceed?" she  asked  sharply;  and  I  saw  that  I  had  touched 
her. 

"  Madam,"  I  said,  "  we  English  are  a  very  curious  people. 


196  ODDSFISH! 

It  is  true  that  we  cut  off  His  late  Majesty's  head;  but  it  is 
also  true  that  we  welcomed  back  his  son  with  acclamation. 
We  are  not  quick  and  logical  as  is  your  own  glorious  nation; 
we  have  very  much  more  sentimentality;  and,  among  those 
matters  that  we  are  sentimental  about,  is  that  of  Royalty. 
I  dare  wager  a  good  deal  that  if  government  by  Monarchy 
goes  in  either  of  our  countries,  it  will  go  in  Your  Grace's 
fatherland  first.  We  abuse  those  in  high  places,  and  we 
disobey  them,  and  we  talk  against  them;  yet  we  cling  to 
them. 

"And  there  is  a  second  reason — "  I  went  on  rapidly; 
for  she  was  at  the  point  of  speaking — "  We  are  a  highly 
respectable  nation,  with  all  the  prejudices  of  respectability; 
and  one  of  these  prejudices  concerns  His  Grace  of  Mon- 
mouth's  parentage" — (I  saw  her  flare  scarlet  at  that;  but  I 
knew  what  I  was  doing) — "  It  is  a  foolish  Pharisaic  sort  of 
prejudice,  no  doubt,  madam;  but  it  is  there;  and  I  do  not 
believe " 

She  could  bear  no  more;  for  her  own  son  had  precisely 
that  bar  sinister  also;  and  in  her  anger  she  said  what  I 
wished  to  hear. 

"  This  is  intolerable,  sir,"  she  flared  at  me,  gripping  the 
arms  of  her  chair.  "  I  do  not  wish  to  hear  any  more  about 
your  stupid  English  nation.  It  is  because  they  are  stupid 
that  I  do  what  I  do.  They  can  be  led  by  the  nose,  like  your 
stupid  King:  I  can  do  what  I  will " 

"  Madam,"  I  entreated,  and  truly  my  accents  were  piteous, 
"  I  beg  of  you  not  to  speak  like  that.  I  am  a  servant  of 
His  Majesty's — I  cannot  hear  such  talk " 

I  rose  from  my  chair. 

Now  in  that  Court  there  was  more  tittle-tattle,  I  think, 
than  in  any  place  on  God's  earth;  and  she  knew  that  well 
enough;  and  understood  that  she  had  said  something  which 
unless  she  prevented  it,  would  go  straight  to  Charles'  ears. 
It  is  true  that  she  ruled  him  absolutely;  but  he  kicked  under 
her  yoke  a  little  now  and  then;  and  if  there  were  one  thing 
that  he  would  not  brook  it  was  to  be  called  stupid.  She 
let  go  of  the  arms  of  her  chair,  and  went  a  little  white.  I 


ODDSFISH!  197 

think  she  had  no  idea  till  then  that  I  was  in  the  King's 
service. 

"  I  said  nothing "  she  murmured. 

I  stood  regarding  her;  and  I  think  my  manner  must  have 
been  good. 

"  I  said  nothing  that  should  be  repeated/'  she  added,  a 
little  louder. 

I  still  kept  silence. 

"You  will  not  repeat  it,  Mr.  Mallock?" 

"Madam,"  I  said,  "I  have  only  one  desire:  and  that  is 
to  serve  His  Majesty  and  His  Majesty's  lawful  heir.  My 
mouth  can  be  sealed  absolutely,  if  that  end  is  served." 

I  said  that  very  slowly  and  deliberately. 

I  saw  her  breathe  a  little  more  freely.  It  was  a  piteous 
sight  to  see  a  woman  so  depending  upon  such  things  as  a 
complexion,  and  whiffs  of  scandal,  and  servants'  gossip. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  she  said,  "  I  cannot  veer  round  all  in  a 
moment,  even  though  I  must  confess  that  what  you  have 
said  to  me,  has  touched  me  very  closely." 

She  looked  at  me  miserably. 

"  Madam,"  I  said,  for  I  dared  not  grasp  at  more  than  this, 
for  fear  of  losing  all,  "  that  has  wiped  out  your  words  as  if 
they  had  never  been  spoken." 

I  kissed  her  hand  and  went  out. 

I  did  not  go  to  the  Duke,  for  I  hold  that,  when  a  man  has 
to  sift  carefully  between  what  he  must  say  and  what  he  must 
not,  it  is  best  to  do  it  on  paper;  but  I  went  back  to  my 
lodgings  and  wrote  to  him  that  it  was  merely  for  her  own 
advantage  that  the  Duchess  had  behaved  so,  and  because 
she  thought  that  the  Protestant  succession  was  certain — 
her  own  advantage,  that  is  to  say,  mingled  with  a  little 
woman's  vanity.  I  begged  His  Royal  Highness  therefore  to 
go  and  see  the  Duchess,  if  he  thought  well,  and,  if  possible, 
publicly,  when  she  held  her  reception,  before  he  went  to  Scot- 
land— (for  I  was  diplomat  enough  to  know  that  the  assuming 
he  would  go  to  Scotland  would  be  the  best  persuasion  to 
make  him) — ;  and  at  the  end  I  told  him  that  I  thought  my 


198  ODDSFISH! 

arguments  had  prevailed  a  little  with  Her  Grace,  and  that 
though  she  could  not  at  once  turn  weathercock,  he  might  take 
my  word  for  it  that  she  would  not  be  so  forward  as  she  had 
been.  But  I  did  not  tell  him  what  argument  I  had  chiefly 
used;  for  I  hold  that  even  to  such  a  woman  as  that,  a  man 
should  keep  his  word. 

Everything  I  told  the  Duke  in  that  letter  fell  true.  The 
Duchess  began  to  cool  very  much  in  the  Protestant  cause, 
though  perhaps  that  was  helped  a  little  by  Monmouth's  hav- 
ing fallen  under  the  King's  displeasure:  and  the  Duke  of 
York  went  two  or  three  times  to  the  Duchess'  receptions;  and 
to  Scotland  on  the  day  before  Parliament  met. 


CHAPTER    VI 

IT  was  on  Mr.  Chiffinch's  advice  that  I  remained  in  London 
for  the  present,  determining  however  to  spend  Christmas  at 
Hare  Street;  and  indeed  I  had  plenty  to  do  in  making  my 
reports  to  Rome  on  the  situation. 

There  was  a  storm  brewing.  From  all  over  the  country 
came  in  addresses  to  the  King,  as  they  were  called,  praying 
him  to  assemble  Parliament,  and  that,  not  only  for  defence 
against  Popery,  but  against  despotism  as  well;  and  all  these 
were  nourished  and  inspired  by  my  Lord  Shaftesbury.  His 
Majesty  answered  this  by  proclaiming  through  the  magis- 
trates that  such  addresses  were  contrary  to  the  laws  that 
left  such  things  at  the  King's  discretion;  and  the  court-party 
against  the  country-party  presently  begun  to  send  addresses 
beseeching  His  Majesty  to  defend  that  prerogative  of  his 
fearlessly.  Names  began  to  be  flung  about:  the  court-party 
called  the  other  the  party  of  Whigs,  because  of  their  whey 
faces  that  would  turn  all  sour;  and  the  country-party  nick- 
named the  others  Tories,  which  was  the  name  of  the  banditti 
in  the  wilder  parts  of  Ireland.  So  it  appeared  that  when- 
ever Parliament  should  meet,  there  would  be,  as  the  saying 
is,  a  pretty  kettle  of  fish  to  fry. 

Parliament  met  at  last  on  the  twenty-first  of  October,  the 
Duke  of  York  having  set  out  to  Scotland  with  a  fine  retinue 
on  the  day  before;  (which  some  thought  too  pointed);  and 
the  King  himself  opened  it. 

With  all  my  love  for  His  Majesty  I  am  forced  to  confess 
that  he  presented  a  very  poor  spectacle  on  that  occasion. 
Not  only  did  he  largely  yield  to  the  popular  clamour,  and 
profess  himself  willing,  within  reason,  to  befriend  any  meas- 
ures for  the  repression  of  Popery;  but  he  stood  at  the  fire 
afterwards  in  the  House  of  Lords,  for  a  great  while,  warm- 
ing his  back  and  laughing  with  his  friends.  I  was  in  the 
gallery  and  saw  it  myself.  Laughter  is  a  very  good  thing, 

199 


200  ODDSFISH! 

but  a  seemly  gravity  is  no  less  good.  As  might  be  expectec 
of  curs,  they  barked  all  the  louder  when  there  was  no  one 
to  stand  up  to  them;  and  within  a  week,  after  numerous 
insulting  proposals  made  to  honour  that  horde  of  lying  in- 
formers that  had  done  so  much  mischief  already,  and  of  pre- 
ferring such  men  as  Dr.  Tonge  to  high  positions  in  the 
Church,  once  more  that  Exclusion  Bill  of  theirs  came  for- 
ward. 

The  Commons  passed  it,  as  might  be  expected,  since  my 
Lord  Shaftesbury  had  packed  that  House  with  his  own 
nominees. 

I  was  in  Whitehall  on  the  night  that  it  was  debated  in 
the  Lords — four  days  later — and  up  to  ten  o'clock  His 
Majesty  had  not  returned  from  the  House;  for  he  was  pres- 
ent at  that  debate — a  very  unusual  thing  with  him.  I  went 
up  and  down  for  a  little  while  outside  His  Majesty's  lodgings; 
and  about  half-past  ten  I  saw  Mr.  Chiffinch  coming. 

"  His  Maj  esty  is  not  back  yet,"  he  said ;  and  presently  he 
proposed  that  we  should  go  to  the  House  ourselves. 

From  the  little  gallery  whither  he  conducted  me,  I  had 
a  very  good  view  of  the  House,  and,  yet  more,  of  one  of  the 
strangest  sights  ever  seen  there. 

Upon  the  carpet  that  was  laid  by  the  fire,  for  it  was  a  cold 
night,  stood  His  Majesty  himself  with  a  circle  of  friends 
about  him.  Now  and  again  there  came  up  to  him  one  of  the 
Peers  for  whom  he  had  sent;  he  talked  to  him  a  few  minutes; 
and  then  let  him  go;  for  he  was  doing  nothing  else  than 
solicit  each  of  them  for  his  vote. 

The  cry  was  raised  presently  to  clear  the  House;  and  we 
went  away;  for  their  Lordships  were  to  record  their  votes; 
and  we  had  not  stood  half  an  hour  in  the  court  outside,  be- 
fore there  came  a  great  cheering  and  shouting;  followed  hard 
by  a  great  booing  from  the  crowds  that  stood  packed  outside. 
My  Lords  had  thrown  out  the  Exclusion  Bill  by  above  two- 
thirds  of  their  number — which  was  ninety-three.  Presently 
His  Majesty  came  out  by  his  private  way,  laughing  and 
jesting  aloud  with  two  or  three  others. 


ODDSFISH!  201 

It  was  to  be  expected  that  the  country-party  would  make 
some  retort  to  this;  and  what  that  retort  was  I  heard  a  few 
days  later,  from  a  couple  of  gentlemen  who  came  into  the 
parlour  at  the  Covent  Garden  tavern  where  I  was  taking 
my  supper.  They  came  in  very  eagerly,  talking  together, 
and  when  they  had  sat  down,  one  of  them  turned  to  me. 

"  You  have  heard  the  news,  sir  ?  " 

"  No,  sir.     What  news  ?  " 

"  My  Lord  Stafford  is  to  be  tried  for  his  life." 

I  did  not  know  what  political  complexion  these  two  were 
of;  so  I  looked  wise  and  inquired  how  that  was  known. 

"  A  clerk  that  is  in  the  House  of  Lords  told  me,  sir.  I  have 
always  found  his  information  to  be  correct." 

This  was  all  very  well  for  the  clerk's  friend,  thought  I; 
but  not  enough  for  me;  and  so  soon  as  I  had  finished  my 
supper  and  bidden  them  good-night  I  was  off  to  Mr.  Chiffinch. 

"  Why  yes,"  he  said.  "  It  is  like  to  be  true  enough.  I 
had  heard  talk  of  it,  but  no  more.  It  is  he  whom  they 
have  chosen  as  the  weakest  of  the  Five  in  the  Tower;  and 
if  they  can  prevail  against  him  they  will  proceed  against  the 
rest,  I  suppose.  I  wonder  who  the  informers  will  be." 

I  inquired  how  it  was  that  the  Peers  did  not  resist. 

"  They  fear  for  themselves  and  their  places,"  said  Mr. 
Chiffinch.  "  They  will  yield  up  anything  but  that,  if  a  man 
or  two  will  but  push  them  hard  enough.  And,  if  they  try 
my  Lord,  they  will  certainly  condemn  him.  There  is  no 
question  of  that.  To  acquit  him  would  cause  a  yet  greater 
uproar  than  to  refuse  to  hear  the  case  at  all." 

"And  His   Majesty?" 

Mr.  Chiffinch  eyed  me  gravely. 

"  His  Majesty  will  never  prefer  his  private  feelings  before 
the  public  utility." 

"  And  this  is  to  the  public  utility?  " 

"  Why  yes ;  or  the  country-party  thinks  it  is.  It  is  the 
best  answer  they  can  make  to  their  rebuff  on  the  matter  of 
the  Exclusion  Bill." 

The  rumour  proved  to  be  perfectly  true.  The  Five  Lords 
who  were  still  in  the  Tower,  had  been  sent  there,  it  may  be 


202  ODDSFISH! 

remembered,  above  two  years  ago,  on  account  of  their  re- 
ligion, although  the  pretended  plot  professed  by  Gates  was 
of  course  alleged  against  them.  Since  that  time  Parliament 
had  been  busy  with  other  matters;  but  such  an  opportunity 
was  now  too  good  to  be  lost,  of  striking  against  the  court- 
party,  and,  at  the  same  time,  of  feeding  the  excitement  and 
fanaticism  of  their  own. 

The  trial  came  on  pretty  quickly,  beginning  on  the  last  day 
of  November;  and  as  I  had  never  seen  a  Peer  tried  by  his 
fellows,  I  determined  to  be  present,  and  obtained  an  order 
to  admit  me  every  day;  and  the  first  day,  strangely  enough, 
was  the  birthday  of  my  Lord  Stafford  himself. 

Westminster  Hall,  in  which  the  trial  was  held,  was  a  very 
noble  sight  when  all  the  folks  were  in  their  places.  (I  sat 
myself  in  a  high  gallery,  in  which  sat,  too,  ambassadors  and 
public  ministers — at  the  upper  end,  above  the  King's  state.) 

I  could  not  see  that  which  was  immediately  beneath  me, 
neither  of  the  box  in  which  sat  His  Majesty  during  a  good 
deal  of  the  trial,  nor,  upon  the  left  side  where  the  great 
ladies  sat.  But  I  had  a  very  good  view  of  the  long  forms 
on  which  the  Peers  sat,  before  the  state  (under  which  was 
the  throne),  the  wool-packs  for  the  Judges,  and  the  chair  of 
the  Lord  Steward — all  which  was  ranged  exactly  as  in  the 
House  of  Lords  itself.  Behind  the  Peers'  forms  rose  the 
stands,  scaffolded  up  to  the  roof,  for  the  House  of  Com- 
mons to  sit  in ;  so  that  the  Hall  resembled  the  shape  of  a  V  in 
its  section,  with  a  long  arena  in  the  midst.  The  lower  end 
held,  in  the  middle,  the  bar  for  the  prisoner  to  stand  at,  and  a 
place  for  him  to  retire  into:  a  box  for  his  two  daughters,  of 
whom  one  was  the  Marchioness  of  Winchester;  and  the  proper 
places  for  the  Lieutenant  of  the  Tower  (whence  my  Lord 
was  brought  by  water),  the  axe-bearer,  who  had  the  edge  of 
his  axe  turned  away  from  the  prisoner,  and  the  guards  that 
kept  him.  Upon  either  hand  of  the  entrance,  nearer  to  the 
throne,  stood,  upon  one  side  a  box  for  the  witnesses,  and 
upon  the  other,  those  that  were  called  the  Managers — being 
lawyers  and  attorneys  and  the  like;  but  these  were  in  their 


ODDSFISH!  203 

cloaks  and  swords,  as  were  others  who  were  with  them,  of 
the  Parliamentary  party,  since  they  were  here  as  representing 
the  Commons,  and  not  as  lawyers  first  of  all. 

The  two  first  days  were  tedious  enough;  and  I  did  not 
stay  a  great  while;  for  the  articles  of  impeachment  were  read, 
and  formalities  discharged.  One  matter  of  interest  only  ap- 
peared; and  that  was  the  names  of  the  witnesses,  when  I 
learned  for  the  first  time  that  Gates  and  Dugdale  and  Tur- 
berville  were  to  be  the  principal.  I  think  more  than  I  were 
astonished  to  hear  that  Dr.  Gates  was  in  this  conspiracy  too, 
as  in  so  many  others;  and  that  he  would  swear,  when  the 
time  came,  that  he  had  delivered  to  my  Lord  a  commission 
from  the  Holy  Father,  to  be  paymaster  in  the  famous  Catholic 
army  of  which  we  had  heard  so  much. 

I  was  much  occupied  too  on  these  days  in  observing  the 
appearance  and  demeanour  of  the  prisoner,  whom  I  could  see 
very  well.  He  was  now  in  his  seventieth  year,  and  looked 
full  his  age;  but  he  bore  himself  with  great  dignity  and  re- 
straint. He  had  somewhat  of  a  cold  look  in  his  face;  and 
indeed  it  was  true  that  he  was  not  greatly  beloved  by  any- 
body, though  respected  by  all. 

The  principal  witnesses,  even  before  Gates,  were  Dugdale 
and  Turberville.  First  these  gave  their  general  testimony — 
and  afterwards  their  particular.  Mr.  Dugdale  related  how 
that  the  plot,  in  general,  had  been  on  hand  for  above  fifteen 
or  sixteen  years;  and  he  repeated  all  the  stuff  that  had  so 
stirred  up  the  people  before,  as  to  indulgences  and  pardons 
promised  by  the  Pope  to  those  who  would  kill  the  King.  I 
must  confess  that  I  fell  asleep  once  or  twice  during  this 
testifying,  for  I  knew  it  all  by  heart  already.  And,  in  par- 
ticular, he  said  that  my  Lord  had  debated  with  others  at 
my  Lord  Aston's,  how  to  kill  the  King:  and  that  himself 
was  present  at  such  debates. 

A  great  hum  broke  out  in  the  Hall,  when  Dugdale  swore 
that  he  had  heard  with  his  own  ears  my  Lord  Stafford  and 
others  who  had  been  present,  give  their  assent  one  by  one  to 
the  King's  murder.  His  Majesty  himself,  I  was  told  later 


204  ODDSFISH! 

by  Mr.  Chiffinch,  retired  to  the  back  of  his  box  to  laugh, 
when  he  heard  that  said;  for  neither  then  nor  ever  did  he 
believe  a  word  of  it. 

Next  came  Mr.  Gates;  and  he  too  reaffirmed  what  he  had 
said  before,  with  an  hundred  ingenious  additions  and  par- 
ticularities as  to  times  and  places — and  this,  I  think,  as  much 
as  anything  was  the  reason  why  so  many  simple  folk  had 
believed  him  in  the  first  event. 

Then  Turberville,  who  said  falsely  that  he  had  once  been 
a  friar,  and  at  Douay,  related  how  my  Lord,  as  he  had  said, 
had  attempted  to  bribe  him  to  kill  the  King,  and  suchlike 
nonsense.  This,  he  said,  had  happened  in  France. 

My  Lord  Stafford  questioned  the  prisoners  a  little;  and 
shewed  up  many  holes  in  their  story.  For  instance,  he 
asked  Turberville  whether  he  had  ever  been  in  his  chamber 
in  Paris;  and  put  this  question  through  the  High  Steward. 

"  Yes,  my  Lord,  I  have,"  said  Turberville. 

"  What  kind  of  a  room  is  it  ?  "  asked  my  Lord. 

"  I  can't  remember  that,"  said  Turberville,  who  before 
had  sworn  he  had  been  in  it  many  times. 

"  No/*  said  my  Lord,  "  I  dare  swear  you  can't." 

"  I  cannot  tell  the  particulars — what  stools  and  chairs 
were  in  the  room." 

On  the  third  day,  which  was  Thursday,  my  Lord  was  bidden 
to  call  his  witnesses  and  make  his  defence;  and  I  must  con- 
fess that  he  did  not  do  this  very  well;  for,  first  he  made  a 
great  pother  about  this  and  that  statute,  of  the  13  Charles  II. 
and  25  Edward — nothing  of  which  served  him  at  all;  and 
next  his  witnesses  did  him  harm  rather  than  good;  and 
Dugdale,  whom  he  examined  was  so  clever  and  quiet  and 
positive  in  his  statements  that  it  was  mere  oath  against 
oath.  Third,  my  Lord  Stafford  himself  did  appear  a  little 
confused  as  to  whether  he  had  known  Dugdale  or  not,  not 
being  sure  of  him,  as  he  said,  in  his  periwig;  for  when  Dug- 
dale was  bailiff  to  my  Lord  Aston  at  Tixall,  he  wore  no 
such  thing.  All  that  he  did,  in  regard  to  Dugdale,  was  to 
shew  by  one  of  his  witnesses  that  Dugdale,  when  bailiff  at 


ODDSFISH!  205 

Tixall,  had  been  a  mean  dishonest  fellow;  but  then,  as  the 
Lord  High  Sheriff  observed,  it  would  scarcely  be  an  honest 
man  whom  one  would  bribe  to  kill  the  King. 

When  he  dealt  with  Turberville  too,  he  did  not  do  much 
better;  for  he  stood  continually  upon  little  points  of  no  im- 
portance— such  points  as  a  witness  may  very  well  mistake — 
as  to  where  the  windows  of  his  house  in  Paris  looked  out, 
and  whether  the  Prince  of  Conde  lodged  to  right  or  left — • 
such  little  points  as  a  lawyer  would  leave  alone,  if  he  could 
not  prove  them  positively. 

On  the  fourth  and  fifth  day  I  was  not  present;  for  I  had 
a  great  deal  to  do  in  writing  my  reports  for  Rome;  and  on 
the  sixth  day — which  was  Monday — I  was  not  there  above 
an  hour,  for  I  saw  that  the  trial  would  not  end  that  day. 
But  on  the  Tuesday  I  was  there  before  ten  o'clock;  and  at 
eleven  o'clock  my  Lords  came  back  to  give  judgment.  It 
was  a  dark  morning,  as  it  had  been  at  the  trial  of  the  Jesuits ; 
and  the  candles  were  lighted. 

As  soon  as  all  were  seated  my  Lord  Stafford  was  brought 
in;  and  I  observed  him  during  all  that  followed.  He  stood 
very  quiet  at  the  bar,  with  his  hands  folded;  and  although, 
before  the  voting  was  over,  he  must  have  known  which  way 
it  was  gone,  he  flinched  never  a  hair  nor  went  white  at  all. 
(His  bringing  in  while  the  voting  was  done  was  contrary  to 
the  law;  but  no  one  observed  it;  and  I  knew  nothing  of  it 
till  afterwards.) 

The  Lord  High  Steward  first  asked  humble  leave  from 
my  Lords  to  sit  down  as  he  spoke,  as  he  was  ailing  a  little, 
and  then  put  the  question  to  each  Lord,  beginning  with  my 
Lord  Butler  of  Weston. 

"  My  Lord  Butler  of  Weston,"  said  he,  "  is  William  Lord 
Viscount  Stafford  guilty  of  the  treason  whereof  he  stands 
impeached,  or  not  guilty  ?  " 

And  my  Lord  answered  in  a  loud  voice,  laying  his  hand 
upon  his  breast: 

"  Not  guilty,  upon  my  honour." 

There  were  in  all  eighty-six  lords  who  voted;  and  each 
answered,  Guilty,  or  Not  Guilty,  upon  his  honour,  as  had 


206  ODDSFISH! 

done  the  first,  each  standing  up  in  his  place.  At  the  first 
I  could  not  tell  on  which  side  lay  the  most;  but  as  they  went 
on,  there  could  be  no  doubt  that  he  was  condemned.  Prince 
Rupert,  Duke  of  Cumberland,  voted  last,  as  he  was  of  royal 
blood,  and  gave  it  against  him. 

The  Lord  High  Sheriff,  who  had  marked  down  each  vote 
upon  a  paper  on  his  desk,  now  added  them  all  up:  and  there 
was  a  great  silence  while  he  did  this.  (I  could  see  him  doing 
it  from  where  I  sat.)  Then  he  spoke  in  a  loud  voice,  raising 
his  head. 

"  My  Lords,"  said  he,  "  upon  telling  your  votes  I  find  that 
there  are  thirty-one  of  my  Lords  that  think  the  prisoner  not 
guilty,  and  fifty-five  that  have  found  him  guilty — Serjeant," 
said  he;  and  then  I  think  that  he  was  about  to  call  for  the 
prisoner,  when  he  saw  him  already  there.  Then,  before  he 
spoke  again,  I  saw  the  headsman  turn  the  edge  of  the  axe 
towards  my  Lord  Stafford;  and  a  rustle  of  whispering  ran 
through  the  Hall. 

"  My  Lord  Stafford,"  said  the  High  Steward,  "  I  have  but 
heavy  tidings  for  you:  your  Lordship  hath  been  impeached 
for  high  treason;  you  have  pleaded  not  gdilty:  my  Lords 
have  heard  your  defence,  and  have  considered  of  the  evidence ; 
and  their  Lordships  do  find  you  guilty  of  the  treason  whereof 
you  are  impeached." 

Then  my  Lord  Stafford,  raising  his  head  yet  higher,  and 
flinching  not  at  all,  cried  out: 

"  God's  holy  name  be  praised,  my  Lords,  for  it !  " 

Then  the  Lord  High  Steward  asked  him  why  judgment 
of  death  should  not  be  given  on  him;  and  after  saying  that 
he  had  not  expected  it,  and  that  he  prayed  God  to  forgive 
those  that  had  sworn  falsely  against  him,  he  went  on,  as 
before,  upon  a  legal  point — that  was  wholly  without  relevance 
— that  he  had  not  been  forced  to  hold  up  his  hand  at  the  be- 
ginning as  he  thought  to  be  a  legal  form  in  all  trials;  and 
when  he  had  said  that,  my  Lords  went  out  to  consider  their 
j  udgment. 

It  was  above  an  hour  before  they  came  back.  During 
that  hour  my  Lord  Stafford  was  permitted  to  sit  down  in 


ODDSFISH!  207 

the  box  provided  for  him;  but  no  one  was  admitted  to  speak 
with  him.  He  sat  very  still,  leaning  his  head  upon  his  hand. 

When  all  were  come  back  again,  he  was  made  to  stand  up 
at  the  bar  once  more;  and  his  face  was  as  resolute  and  quiet 
as  ever. 

Then,  when  the  Lord  High  Steward  had  answered  his 
point,  saying  that  in  no  way  did  the  holding  up  of  the  hand 
affect  the  legality  of  the  trial;  he  began  to  give  sentence. 

"  My  part,  therefore,  which  remains,"  said  he,  "  is  a  very 
sad  one.  For  I  never  yet  gave  sentence  of  death  upon  any 
man,  and  am  extremely  sorry  that  I  must  begin  with  your 
Lordship." 

My  Lord  Nottingham  was  silent  for  an  instant  when  he 
had  said  that,  seeking,  I  think,  to  command  his  voice:  and 
then  he  began  his  speech,  which  I  think  he  had  learned  by 
heart;  and  it  was  one  of  the  most  moving  discourses  that  I 
have  ever  heard,  though  he  committed  a  great  indecency  in 
it,  when  he  said  that  henceforth  no  man  could  ever  doubt 
again  that  it  was  the  Papists  who  had  burned  London;  and 
professed  himself — (though  this  I  suppose  he  was  bound  to 
do) — satisfied  with  the  evidence. 

When  he  came  to  give  sentence,  I  watched  my  Lord  Staf- 
ford's face  again  very  hard;  and  he  flinched  never  a  hair. 
It  was  the  same  sentence  as  that  to  which  the  Jesuits  too 
had  listened,  and  many  other  Catholics. 

"  You  go  to  the  place,"  said  my  Lord  Nottingham,  "  from 
whence  you  came;  from  thence  you  must  be  drawn  upon  a 
hurdle  to  the  place  of  execution:  when  you  come  there  you 
must  be  hanged  up  by  the  neck  there,  but  not  till  you  are 
dead;  for  you  must  be  cut  down  alive,  your  bowels  ripped 
up  before  your  face  and  thrown  into  the  fire.  Then  your 
head  must  be  severed  from  your  body;  and  your  body  divided 
into  four  quarters,  and  these  must  be  at  the  disposal  of  the 
King.  And  God  Almighty  be  merciful  to  your  soul !  " 

There  was  a  moment  of  silence;  and  then  my  Lord  Stafford 
answered. 

"  My  Lords,"  he  said  quietly,  yet  so  that  every  word  was 
heard,  "  I  humbly  beseech  you  give  me  leave  to  speak  a 


208 


ODDSFISH 


few  words:  I  do  give  your  Lordships  hearty  thanks  for  all 
your  favours  to  me.  I  do  here,  in  the  presence  of  God  Al- 
mighty, declare  I  have  no  malice  in  my  heart  to  them  that 
have  condemned  me.  I  know  not  who  they  are,  nor  desire 
to  know:  I  forgive  them  all,  and  beseech  your  Lordships  all 

to  pray  for  me "  (His  voice  shook  a  little,  and  he  was 

silent.  Then  he  went  on  again.  All  else  were  as  still  as 
death.) 

"  My  Lords,  I  have  one  humble  request  to  make  to  your 
Lordships,  and  that  is,  my  Lords,  that  the  little  short  time 
I  have  to  live  a  prisoner,  I  may  not  be  a  close  prisoner  as  I 
have  been  of  late;  but  that  Mr.  Lieutenant  may  have  an 
order  that  my  wife  and  children  and  friends  may  come  at  me. 
I  do  humbly  beg  this  favour  of  your  Lordships,  which  I  hope 
you  will  be  pleased  to  give  me." 

His  voice  grew  very  low  as  he  ended;  and  I  saw  his  lips 
shake  a  little. 

The  Lord  High  Steward  answered  him  with  great  feel- 
ing. 

"  My  Lord  Stafford,"  he  said — (and  that  was  an  unusual 
thing  to  say,  for  he  had  said  before  that  since  he  was  to  be 
attainted  he  could  not  be  called  My  Lord  again) — "  I  believe 
I  may,  with  my  Lords'  leave,  tell  you  one  thing  further; 
that  my  Lords,  as  they  proceed  with  rigour  of  justice,  so 
they  proceed  with  all  the  mercy  and  compassion  that  may 
be;  and  therefore  my  Lords  will  be  humble  suitors  to  the 
King,  that  he  will  remit  all  the  punishment  but  the  taking  off 
of  your  head." 

And  at  that  my  Lord  Stafford  broke  down  altogether,  and 
sobbed  upon  the  rail;  and  it  is  a  terrible  thing  to  see  an  old 
man  weep  like  that.  When  he  could  command  his  voice,  he 
said: 

"  My  Lords,  your  justice  does  not  make  me  cry,  but  your 
goodness." 

Then  my  Lord  Nottingham  stood  up,  and  taking  the  staff 
of  office  that  lay  across  his  desk,  he  broke  it  in  two  halves. 
When  I  looked  again,  the  prisoner  was  going  out  between  his 


ODDSFISH!  209 

guards,  and  the  axe  before,  with  its  edge  turned  towards  him 
in  token  of  death. 

I  was  at  Mr.  Chiffinch's  again  that  night  to  hear  the  news ; 
but  he  was  not  there.  When  he  came  in  at  last,  he  appeared 
very  excited.  Then  he  told  me  the  news. 

"  They  are  at  His  Majesty  already/*  he  said,  "  that  he  can- 
not remit  the  penalty  of  High  Treason.  But  the  King  swears 
that  he  will,  law  or  no  law,  judges  or  no  judges.  I  have 
never  seen  him  so  determined.  He  does  not  believe  one  word 
of  the  evidence." 

"  Yet  he  will  sign  the  warrant  for  the  beheading? "  I 
asked. 

"Why,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch,  "His  Majesty  does  not  wish 
to  go  upon  his  travels  again." 


CHAPTER     VII 

THE  night  before  I  went  down  to  Hare  Street, — for  I  went 
on  Christmas  Eve — I  was  present  for  the  first  time  at  the 
high  supper  in  Whitehall,  which  His  Maj  esty .  gave  to  the 
Spanish  Ambassador.  I  had  never  been  at  such  a  ceremony 
before;  and  went  out  of  curiosity  only,  being  given  admission 
to  one  of  the  stands  by  the  door,  whence  I  might  see  it  all. 
It  would  have  appeared  very  strange  to  me  that  the  King 
could  be  so  merry,  as  he  was  that  night,  when  so  much  innocent 
blood  had  been  shed  upon  his  own  warrant,  and  when  such  a 
man,  as  my  Lord  Stafford  was,  lay  in  the  Tower,  expecting 
his  death  six  days  later; — had  I  not  known  the  nature  of  His 
Majesty  pretty  well  by  now.  For,  beneath  all  the  merriment, 
I  think  he  was  not  very  happy,  though  he  never  shewed  a 
sign  of  it. 

I  stood,  as  I  said,  upon  a  little  scaffold  to  the  right  of  the 
entrance;  and  I  was  glad  of  it;  for  there  was  a  great  pack 
of  people  crowded  in,  as  the  custom  was,  also  to  see  the 
spectacle;  and  they  were  all  about  me  and  in  front,  as  well 
as  in  the  gallery  where  the  music  was. 

The  Banqueting  Hall  had  its  walls  all  hung  over  with 
very  rich  tapestry,  representing  all  kinds  of  merry  scenes  of 
hunting  and  fighting  and  the  like,  and  there  were  great 
presses  along  the  walls,  piled  with  plate  of  gold  and  silver. 
The  music  was  all  on  the  balusters  above — wind-music, 
trumpets  and  kettledrums,  that  played  as  Their  Majesties 
came  in,  after  the  heralds  and  Black  Rod.  I  had  not  had 
before  an  opportunity  of  seeing  the  Queen  so  well  as  I  saw 
her  now;  and  I  watched  her  closely,  for  I  was  sorry  for  the 
poor  woman.  She  was  very  gloriously  dressed  in  a  pale 
brocade,  with  quantities  of  Flanders  lace  upon  her  shoulders 
and  at  her  elbows,  that  set  off  her  little  figure  very  well. 
She  was  very  handsome,  I  thought,  though  so  little;  and  her 
complexion  and  her  face  were  both  very  good,  except  that 

210 


ODDSFISH!  211 

her  teeth  shewed  too  much  as  she  smiled.  She  had,  however, 
nothing  of  that  witty  or  brilliant  air  about  her  that  pleased 
the  King  so  much  in  women ;  and  she  sat  very  quietly  through- 
out supper,  beside  the  King,  not  speaking  a  great  deal.  But 
I  thought  I  saw  in  her  at  first  a  very  piteous  desire  to 
please  him;  and  he  listened,  smiling,  as  a  man  might  listen  to 
a  dull  child;  and,  indeed,  I  think  that  that  was  all  that 
he  thought  of  her.  His  Majesty  himself  appeared  very 
noble  and  gallant,  in  His  Order  of  the  Garter,  and  with  the 
Golden  Fleece  too,  over  his  rich  suit.  Both  Their  Majesties 
wore  a  good  number  of  jewels. 

Their  Majesties  sat  at  a  little  high  table,  under  a  state, 
with  their  gentlemen  and  ladies  standing  behind  them;  and 
the  Spaniards,  with  the  King's  other  guests  at  a  table  that 
ran  down  the  middle  of  the  hall,  yet  close  enough  at  the 
upper  end  for  the  Ambassador  and  the  King  to  speak  to- 
gether. My  Lord  Shaftesbury  was  there;  and  it  was  strange 
to  see  him,  I  knowing  how  much  he  was  privately  under  His 
Majesty's  displeasure,  and  Prince  Rupert,  very  fat  and  pale 
and  stupid;  and  Sir  Thomas  Killigrew  and  a  score  of  others. 
His  Majesty  was  served  by  the  Lords  and  pensioners;  and 
the  rest  by  pages  and  the  like,  and  gentlemen.  About  the 
middle  of  the  dinner  toasts  were  drunk — and  first  of 
all  His  Majesty's,  and  the  trumpets  sounded  and  the  music 
played,  all  standing,  and  when  they  were  sat  down  again 
I  heard  the  guns  .shot  off  at  the  Tower;  and  I  thought  of 
him  who  lay  there,  and  how  he  heard  them  near  at  hand, 
and  how  he  might  have  been  here,  supping  with  the  Spaniards, 
had  he  not  fallen  under  the  popular  displeasure  on  account  of 
his  religion.  It  was  a  wonderful  thing  to  see  the  toast  drunk, 
all  that  company  standing  upon  its  feet,  and  shouting. 

When  the  banquet  came  in,  and  the  French  wines,  a  very 
curious  scene  of  disorder  presently  began — these  gentlemen 
flinging  the  dessert  about  and  at  one  another,  for  they  were 
beginning  to  be  a  little  drunk:  and  I  saw  Killigrew  fling  a 
bunch  of  raisins  at  one  of  the  Spaniards,  in  sport.  His 
Majesty  sat  smiling  throughout,  not  at  all  displeased;  but 
not  drunk  at  all  himself;  and  indeed  he  seldom  or  never 


ODDSFISH! 

drank  to  excess  nor  gamed  to  excess,  though  he  loved  to  see 
others  do  so. 

At  the  end,  when  all  was  finished,  a  choir  under  the  direc- 
tion of  the  King's  Master  of  Music  sang  a  piece  very  sweetly 
from  the  gallery,  with  the  wind  music  sounding  softly;  but 
no  one  paid  the  least  attention;  and  then  we  all  stood  up 
again,  such  as  had  seats  on  the  scaffolds,  to  see  Their  Maj  esties 
go  out.  But  such  a  scene  as  it  all  was,  when  the  fruit  and 
sweetmeats  were  flung  about  would  not  have  been  tolerated 
in  Rome,  nor,  I  think  in  any  Court  in  Europe. 

The  next  morning,  very  early,  James  and  I  set  out  for 
Hare  Street. 

Now  the  determination  had  been  forming  in  my  mind  for 
some  weeks  past,  that  I  would  delay  no  longer  in  that  which 
lay  nearer  to  my  heart  by  now,  I  think,  than  all  politics  or 
missions  or  anything  else;  and  that  was  to  ask  my  Cousin 
Dolly  if  she  would  have  me  or  no;  and  all  the  way  down  to 
Hare  Street  I  was  considering  this  and  rehearsing  what  I 
should  say.  I  still  had  some  hesitation  upon  the  point,  for 
I  remembered  how  strange  and  shy  she  had  been  when  I 
had  last  been  there,  and  had  thought  it  to  be  because  perhaps 
she  believed  that  she  was  being  flung  at  me  by  her  father. 
But  the  memory  of  my  jealousy  had  worked  upon  me  very  much 
— that  jealousy,  I  mean,  that  I  had  had  when  His  Grace  of 
Monmouth  had  come  and  made  his  pretty  speeches;  and  I  was 
all  but  resolved  to  put  all  to  the  test,  one  way  or  the  other. 
I  had  thought  of  her  continually:  in  all  that  I  had  seen — 
in  even  the  sorrowful  affair  in  Westminster  Hall  and  the 
merry  business  a  fortnight  after  at  the  supper — I  had  seen 
it,  so  to  say,  all  through  her  eyes  and  wondered  how  she 
would  judge  of  it  all,  and  wished  her  there.  The  sting  of 
my  jealousy  indeed  was  gone:  I  reproached  myself  for  hav- 
ing thought  ill  of  her  even  for  a  moment ;  yet  the  warmth  was 
still  there;  and  so  it  was  in  this  mood  that  I  came  at  last  to 
the  house,  at  supper-time. 

It  was   extraordinary  merry  and  pretty  within.     Neither 


ODDSFISH!  213 

was  below  stairs  when  I  came;  for  my  Cousin  Tom  was  in 
the  cellar,  and  my  Cousin  Dolly  in  the  kitchen;  and  when 
I  went  into  the  Great  Chamber  it  was  all  untenanted.  But 
the  walls  were  hung  all  over  with  wreaths  and  holly:  and 
there  were  wax  candles  in  the  sconces  all  ready  for  lighting 
the  next  day.  But  the  parlour,  where  were  the  hangings 
of  the  Knights  of  the  Grail  was  even  more  pretty;  for  there 
were  hung  streamers  across  the  ceiling,  from  corner  to  cor- 
ner, and  a  great  bunch  of  mistletoe  united  them  at  the  centre. 

As  I  was  looking  at  this  my  Cousin  Dolly  ran  in,  her  hands 
all  over  flour;  and  as  I  saw  her — "  Here,"  I  said  to  myself, 
"  is  the  place  where  it  shall  be  done." 

She  could  not  touch  me  or  kiss  me,  because  of  the  flour;  but 
she  permitted  me  to  kiss  her,  my  cold  lips  against  her  warm 
cheek;  and  her  eyes  were  as  stars  for  merriment.  There  is 
something  very  strange  and  mystical  about  Christmas,  to 
me — (which  I  think  is  why  the  Puritans  were  so  savage 
against  it) — for  I  suppose  that  the  time  in  which  our  Lord 
was  born  as  a  little  Child,  makes  children  of  us  all,  that 
we  may  understand  Him  better. 

"  Well,  you  are  come  then !  "  said  Dolly  to  me — "  and 
we  not  ready  for  you." 

"  I  am  ready  enough  for  home/'  said  I.  And  she  smiled 
very  friendly  at  me  for  that  word. 

"  I  am  glad  you  call  it  that,"  said  she. 

There  was  but  a  little  dried  fish  and  rice  for  supper  that 
night,  as  it  was  a  fast  day;  but  the  supper  of  Christmas  Eve 
is  always  a  kind  of  sacramental  for  me,  when  midnight  mass 
is  to  follow.  There  was  no  midnight  mass  for  u"£  that 
Christmas,  nor  any  mass  at  all;  though  I  suppose  it  was  cele- 
brated as  usual  in  the  Ambassadors'  chapels,  and  the  Queen's : 
yet  the  supper  had  yet  that  air  of  mystery  and  expectancy 
about  it. 

"  We  are  all  to  dance  to-morrow  night,"  said  Dolly. 

"  So  that  is  why  the  floor  is  cleared  in  the  Great  Chamber," 
I  said. 


ODDSFISH! 

. 
She  nodded  at  me.     She  looked  more  of  a  child  than  I 

had  ever  seen  her. 

"  Will  you  dance  with  me,  Dolly  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Yes,"  she  said,  "  but  my  first  is  with  my  father." 

I  told  them  presently,  though  it  was  but  a  melancholy 
tale  for  Christmas  Eve,  of  my  Lord  Stafford's  trial,  and  all 
that  I  had  seen  there;  and  of  the  supper  last  night  in  White- 
hall. 

"  My  Lord  is  to  be  beheaded  in  five  days/'  I  said.  "  We 
must  pray  for  his  soul.  He  will  die  as  bravely  as  he  has 
lived;  I  make  no  doubt." 

"  And  you  have  no  doubt  of  his  innocence  ?  "  asked  Cousin 
Tom. 

I  stared  on  him. 

"  Why  no,"  I  said,  "  nor  any  man,  except  those  paid  to 
believe  his  guilt." 

He  pressed  me  to  tell  him  more  of  what  I  had  seen  in 
London;  and  whether  I  had  seen  the  Duke  of  Monmouth 
again. 

"He  is  in  Holland,"  I  said,  "under  His  Majesty's  dis- 
pleasure. But  I  saw  Her  Grace  of  Portsmouth." 

"Why,  that  is  his  friend,  is  it  not?  "  asked  Tom. 

"  Yes,"  I  said,  "  and  a  poor  friend  to  his  father  and  the 
Duke  of  York." 

The  next  night  was  a  very  merry  one. 

We  had  dined  at  noon  as  usual:  and  that  was  pretty  merry 
too;  for  all  the  servants  dined  with  us,  and  the  men  from 
the  farm  and  their  wives.  It  was  sad  to  have  had  no  mass 
at  all;  and  all  that  we  had  instead  of  it  was  the  sound  of 
the  bells  from  Hormead,  from  the  church  that  had  been  our 
own  a  hundred  and  fifty  years  ago — which  was  worse  than 
nothing.  At  dinner  we  observed  the  usual  ceremonial,  with 
the  drinking  of  healths  and  the  burning  of  candles;  and 
Dolly  and  her  father  and  her  maid  sang  a  grace  at  the  be- 
ginning and  end — with  a  carol  or  two  afterwards  that  was  a 
surprise  to  me.  It  was  very  homely  and  friendly  and  Chris- 
tian; and  I  saw  my  man  James  with  his  arm  around  one 


ODDSFISH!  215 

of  the  dairymaids — which  is  pretty  Christian  too,  I  think.  We 
kept  it  up  till  it  was  near  time  to  get  supper  ready,  telling  of 
stories  all  the  while  about  the  fire  in  the  old  way.  Some 
of  them  were  poor  enough;  but  some  were  good.  Dick,  the 
cow-man,  whom  we  had  long  suspected  of  poaching,  exposed 
himself  very  sadly,  when  the  ale  was  in  him,  by  relating  a 
number  of  poaching  tricks  I  had  never  heard  before.  One 
was  of  how  to  catch  stares,  or  shepsters,  when  they  fly  up 
and  down,  as  they  do  before  lodging  in  a  thicket.  Then 
you  must  turn  out,  said  Dick,  a  quick  stare  with  a  limed 
thread  of  three  yards  long,  when  she  will  fly  straight  to  the 
rest,  and,  flocking  among  them,  will  infallibly  bring  down  at 
least  one  or  two,  and  perhaps  five  or  six,  all  entangled  in 
her  thread.  And  another  was  how  to  take  wild  ducks.  Go 
into  the  water,  said  he,  up  to  the  neck,  with  a  pumpkin  put 
over  your  head,  and  whilst  the  ducks  come  up  to  eat  the 
seeds,  you  may  take  them  by  the  legs  and  pull  them  under 
quietly,  one  by  one,  till  they  be  drowned.  But  I  would  not 
like  to  do  that  in  cold  weather;  and  indeed  it  seems  to  me 
altogether  like  that  other  method  by  which  you  take  larks 
by  a-putting  of  salt  upon  their  tails.  I  asked  Dick,  very 
'serious,  whether  he  had  tried  that  plan;  and  he  said  he  had 
not,  but  that  a  friend  had  told  him  of  it;  and  the  company  be- 
came very  merry. 

There  were  other  tales  too,  more  grave  than  these,  of 
sacrilege,  and  suchlike.  One,  which  my  man  James  told, 
was  of  a  man  who  took  an  altar  stone  from  an  old  church,  to 
press  cheeses  with;  but  the  cheeses  ran  blood;  so  they  took 
it  from  that  and  put  it  in  the  laundry  to  bat  the  linen  on. 
But  at  night,  such  a  sound  of  batting  was  heard  continually 
from  the  laundry — and  no  one  there — that  the  man  took 
it  back  again  to  the  church,  and  buried  it  in  the  churchyard. 
And  another  was  of  two  men  who  had  thrown  down  a  village- 
cross  upon  a  bowling-green;  and  when  one  of  them  next 
day  tried  to  move  it  from  there,  for  the  playing — he  being  a 
very  strong  man,  and  lifting  it  on  end — it  fell  upon  him, 
backwards,  and  crushed  his  breast,  so  that  he  never  spoke 
again.  And  there  were  many  tales  told  of  church-lands; 


216  ODDSFISH! 

and  how  my  Lord  Strafford,  that  was  beheaded,  before  his 
death  told  his  son  to  get  rid  of  them  all,  for  that  they  brought 
a  curse  always  upon  them  that  held  them.  And  there  was 
another  story  told  at  the  end  by  a  man  from  the  farm  who 
had  been  in  London  at  the  time,  and  had  seen  it  for  himself — 
how  my  Lords  Castlehaven  and  Arran,  in  St.  James'  Park, 
did,  for  a  wager,  kill  a  strong  buck  in  His  Majesty's  presence, 
by  running  on  foot,  and  each  with  a  knife  only.  They  took 
nearly  three  hours  to  do  it  in,  but  the  wager  was  for  six,  so 
they  won  that.  They  killed  him  at  last  in  Rosamund's 
Pond,  having  driven  him  in  there  with  stones.  I  could  well 
believe  this  latter  tale,  and  that  the  thing  had  been  done  in 
the  King's  presence,  having  seen  what  I  had  at  supper  two 
nights  before. 

When  we  came  into  the  Great  Chamber  after  supper  all 
was  ready  for  the  dancing;  and  Mr.  Thompson,  who  was 
the  Hormead  schoolmaster,  and  a  concealed  Catholic — 
though  he  went  to  the  church  with  the  children  and  did 
teach  them  their  religion,  for  his  living — was  at  the  spinet 
to  which  we  were  to  dance.  There  was  a  fellow  also  to 
play  the  fiddle,  and  another  for  a  horn. 

The  dancing  was  very  pretty  to  see;  and  we  did  a  great 
number,  beginning  as  the  custom  is,  with  country  dances; 
and  it  was  in  the  first  of  these  that  my  Cousin  Dolly  did 
dance  with  her  father,  and  I  with  Dolly's  maid.  We  were  all 
dressed  too,  not  indeed  in  our  best,  but  in  our  second  best — 
with  silk  stockings,  and  the  farm  men  and  the  maids  were 
in  their  Sunday  clothes.  But  each  one  had  put  on  some- 
thing for  the  occasion;  one  had  a  pair  of  buckled  shoes  of 
a  hundred  years  old,  and  another  an  old  ring.  My  Cousin 
Tom  and  I  wore  our  own  hair,  and  no  periwigs.  My  Cousin 
Dolly  was  very  pretty  in  her  grey  sarcenet,  with  her  little 
pearls,  and  her  hair  dressed  in  a  new  fashion. 

It  was  all  very  sweet  to  me,  for  it  was  so  natural  and 
without  affectation;  and  it  all  might  have  been  a  hundred 
years  ago  before  the  old  customs  went  out  and  the  new  came 


ODDSPISH!  217 

in  from  France,  in  which  men  pay  dancers  to  dance,  instead 
of  doing  it  for  themselves.  The  room  was  very  well  decked, 
and  the  candles  lighted  all  round  the  walls;  and  when  some 
of  the  greenery  fell  down  and  was  trodden  underfoot,  the 
smell  of  it  was  very  pleasant.  A  little  fire  was  on  the  hearth 
— not  great,  lest  we  should  be  too  hot. 

We  danced  country  dances  first,  as  I  have  said;  and  then 
my  Cousin  Dolly  shewed  us  one  or  two  town  dances,  and  I 
danced  a  sarabande  in  her  company;  but  then  as  the  rest  of 
the  folk  liked  the  country  dances  the  best,  we  went  back  to 
these. 

Presently  I  saw  my  Cousin  Dolly  go  out,  and  went  after 
her  to  ask  if  she  needed  anything. 

"  No,"  said  she,  "  only  to  get  cool  again." 

"  Come  into  the  parlour,"  said  I ;  and  made  her  come 
with  me.  This  too  had  a  couple  of  candles  burning  over  the 
hearth,  and  a  little  fire,  for  any  who  wished  to  come  in; 
but  it  was  empty,  for  even  my  Cousin  Tom  was  disporting 
himself  next  door  in  a  round  dance  that  had  but  just  begun. 

Then  it  was  that  all  my  resolution  came  to  a  point;  for  all 
circumstances  looked  that  way — my  determination  to  speak, 
the  blessed  time  of  Christmas,  the  extraordinary  kindness  of 
Dolly  to  me  all  day,  and  the  very  place  empty,  yet  lighted 
and  waiting,  as  if  by  design. 

For  a  moment  after  she  had  sat  down  on  one  side  of  the 
hearth,  and  I  on  the  other,  I  could  not  speak;  for  I  seemed 
to  myself  all  shaking,  and  again  she  looked  such  a  child,  with 
her  pale  cheeks  flushed  with  the  exercise,  and  her  eyes  alight 
with  merriment.  All  went  before  me  in  that  moment — my 
old  thought  that  I  was  to  be  a  monk,  my  leaving  the  novi- 
tiate, my  mission  from  Rome,  such  as  it  was,  and  the  work 
I  had  been  able  to  do  for  the  King.  To  all  this  I  must  say 
good-bye;  and  yet  this  price  I  should  pay  seemed  to  me 
scarcely  to  be  considered  as  weighed  against  this  little  maid. 
So  it  went  by  me  like  a  picture,  and  was  gone,  and  I  looked 
up. 

There  was  that  in  my  air,  I  suppose,  and  the  way  I  looked 


218  ODDSFISH! 

at  her,  that  told  her  what  my  meaning  was;  for  before  I 
had  spoken  even  a  syllable  she  was  on  her  feet  again,  and 
the  flush  was  stricken  from  her  face. 

"  Oh !  no !  Cousin  Roger/'  she  cried.  "  No,  no,  Cousin 
Roger!" 

"  It  is  Yes,  Yes,  Cousin  Dolly,"  said  I.  "  Or  at  least  I 
hope  so."  (I  said  this  with  more  assurance  than  I  shewed, 
for  if  I  was  sure  of  anything  it  was  that  she  loved  me  in 
return.  And  I  stood  up  and  leaned  on  the  chimney-breast.) 

She  stood  there,  staring  on  me;  and  the  flush  crept  back. 

"  What  have  I   said  ?  "  she  whispered. 

"  You  need  say  nothing  more,  my  dear,  except  what  I 
bid  you.  My  dear  love,  you  have  guessed  just  what  it  was 
that  I  had  to  say.  Sit  down  again,  if  you  please,  Cousin, 
while  I  tell  you." 

As  I  looked  at  her,  a  very  curious  change  came  across  her 
face.  I  saw  it  at  once,  but  I  did  not  think  upon  it  till  after- 
wards. She  had  been  a  very  child  just  now,  in  her  terror 
that  I  should  speak — just  that  terror,  I  should  suppose,  that 
every  maid  must  have  when  a  man  first  speaks  to  her  of 
love.  Yet,  as  I  looked,  that  terror  went  from  her  face,  and 
her  wide  eyes  narrowed  a  little  as  she  brought  down  her 
brows,  and  her  parted  lips  closed.  It  was,  I  thought,  just 
that  she  had  conquered  herself,  and  set  herself  to  hear  what 
I  had  to  say,  before  answering  me  as  I  wished.  She  moved 
very  slowly  back  to  her  chair,  and  sat  down,  crossing  her 
hands  on  her  lap.  That  was  all  that  I  thought  it  was,  so 
little  did  I  know  women's  hearts,  and  least  of  all  hers. 

I  remained  yet  a  moment  longer,  leaning  my  forehead  on 
my  hand,  and  my  hand  flat  upon  the  tapestry,  staring  into 
the  red  logs,  and  considering  how  to  say  what  I  had  to  say 
with  the  least  alarm  to  her.  I  felt — though  I  am  ashamed 
to  say  it — as  it  were  something  of  condescension  towards 
her.  I  knew  that  it  was  a  good  match  for  her,  for  had  not 
her  father  drilled  that  into  me  by  a  hundred  looks  and  hints? 
I  knew  that  I  was  something  considerable,  and  like  to  be 
more  so,  and  that  I  was  sacrificing  a  good  deal  for  her  sake. 


ODDSFISH!  219 

And  then  a  kind  of  tenderness  came  over  me  as  I  thought 
how  courageous  she  was,  and  good  and  simple,  and  I  put 
these  other  thoughts  away,  and  turned  to  her  where  she  sat 
with  the  firelight  on  her  chin  and  brows  and  hair,  very  rigid 
and  still. 

"  Dolly,  my  dear/'  I  said,  "  I  think  you  know  what  I  have 
to  say  to  you.  It  is  that  I  love  you  very  dearly,  as  you  must 
have  seen " 

She  made  a  little  quick  movement  as  if  to  speak. 

"  Wait,  cousin,"  I  said,  "  till  I  have  done.  I  tell  you  that 
I  love  you  very  dearly,  and  honor  you,  and  can  never  forget 
what  you  did  for  me.  And  I  am  a  man  of  a  very  considerable 
estate  and  a  Catholic;  so  there  is  nothing  to  think  of  in  that 
respect.  And  your  father  too  will  be  pleased,  I  know;  and 
we  are " 

Again  she  made  that  little  quick  movement;  and  I  stopped. 

"Well,  my  dear?" 

She  looked  up   at  me  very  quietly. 

"Well,  Cousin  Roger;  and  what  then?" 

That  confused  me  a  little;  for  I  had  thought  that  she  had 
understood.  And  then  I  thought  that  perhaps  she  too  was 
confused. 

"  Why,  my  dear,"  I  said  very  patiently  as  I  thought,  as 
one  would  speak  to  a  child,  "  I  am  asking  you  if  you  will  be 
my  wife." 

I  turned  away  from  the  fire  altogether,  and  faced  her, 
thinking  I  should  have  her  in  my  arms.  But  at  first  she 
said  nothing  at  all,  but  sat  immovable,  scrutinizing  me,  I 
thought,  as  if  to  read  all  that  was  in  my  head  and  heart. 
But  it  was  all  new  to  me,  for  what  did  I  know  of  love  except 
that  it  was  very  strange  and  sweet?  So  I  waited  for  her 
answer.  That  answer  came. 

"  Cousin  Roger,"  she  said  in  a  very  low  voice,  "  I  am  very 
sorry  you  have  spoken  as  you  have " 

I  straightened  myself  suddenly  and  looked  at  her  more 
closely.  She  had  not  moved  at  all,  except  her  face.  A  kind 
of  roaring  murmur  began  to  fill  my  ears. 


220  ODDSFISH! 

"  Because/'  said  she — and  every  word  of  hers  now  was 
pain  to  me — "  because  there  is  but  one  answer  that  I  can  give, 
which  is  No." 

"  Why "  cried  I. 

"  You  have  spoken  very  kindly  and  generously.  But — ' 
and  at  this  her  voice  began  to  ring  a  little — "  but  I  am  nol 
what  you  think  me — a  maid  to  be  flung  at  the  head  of  any 
man  who  will  choose  to  take  her." 

"  Cousin !  "  cried  I ;  and  then  she  was  on  her  feet  too, 
her  face  all  ablaze. 

"  Yes,  Cousin !  "  cried  she ;  "  and  never  any  more  than 
that.  You  have  acted  very  well,  Cousin  Roger;  and  I  thank 
you  for  that  compliment — that  you  thought  it  worth  while  to 
play  the  part — and  for  your  great  kindness  to  a  poor  country 
maid.  I  had  thought  it  to  be  all  over  long  ago — before  you 
went  away;  or  I  would  not  have  behaved  as  I  have.  But 
since  you  have  considered  it  again  carefully,  and  chosen 
to — to  insult  me  after  all;  I  have  no  answer  at  all  to  give, 
except  No,  a  thousand  times  over." 

"  Why,  Cousin "  I  began  again. 

She  stamped  her  foot.  I  could  not  have  imagined  she 
could  be  so  angry. 

"  Wait  till  I  have  done,"  she  said — "  I  do  not  know  what 
my  father  thinks  of  me;  but  I  suppose  that  you  and  he  have 
designed  all  this;  and  led  me  on  to  make  a  fool  of  myself — 
Oh !  Let  me  go !  let  me  go !  " 

Oh!  the  triple  fool  that  I  was!  Yet  who  had  ever  taught 
me  the  ways  of  love,  or  what  women  mean,  or  what  their 
hearts  are  like?  If  I  had  been  one  half  the  man  that  I 
thought  myself,  I  would  have  seized  her  there,  and  forced 
back  her  foolishness  with  kisses,  and  vowed  that,  conspirator 
or  not,  she  must  have  me;  that  we  knew  one  another  too  well 
to  play  false  coin  like  this.  Or  I  should  have  blazed  at  her 
in  return;  and  told  her  that  she  lied  in  thinking  I  was  as  base 
as  that.  Why,  I  should  have  just  borne  myself  like  a  lover 
to  whom  love  is  all,  and  dignity  and  wounded  pride  nothing; 
for  what  else  is  there  but  love,  sacred  or  profane,  in  the 
whole  world  that  God  has  made?  If  I  had  done  that!  If; 


ODDSFISH! 

only  I  had  done  that  then!     But  I  suppose  that  I  was  no 
lover  then. 

So  I  drew  back,  smarting  and  wounded;  and  let  her  go 
by;  and  a  minute  later  I  heard  the  door  of  her  chamber 
slam  behind  her,  and  the  key  turn. 

For  myself  I  went  out  very  slowly,  five  minutes  after, 
and  upstairs  to  my  own  chamber,  and  began  to  consider  what 
things  I  must  take  with  me  on  the  morrow;  for  I  would  not 
stay  another  day  in  the  house  where  I  had  been  so  insulted 
and  denied. 


CHAPTER    VIII 

PRIDE  is  a  very  good  salve,  when  one  has  no  humility;  an( 
it  was  Pride  that  I  applied  to  myself  to  heal  the  wounds  I 
had. 

I   came  down  again  to  the  Great  Chamber,  half  an  hoi 
later,   very   cold   and   dignified,   and   danced   again,   like   th< 
solemn  fool  that  I  was,  first  with  one  and  then  with  another 
and  all  the  while  I  told  myself,  like  the  prophet  that  "  I  di 
well  to  be  angry  " ;  and  that  I  would  shew  her  that  no  man, 
of  my  ability,  could  depend  upon  any  mere  woman  for  his 
content.     Yet  the  pain  at  my  heart  was  miserable. 

It  is  very  near  incredible  to  me  now  how  I,  who  truly  knew 
something  of  the  world,  and  of  men  and  of  affairs,  could  be 
so  childish  and  ignorant  in  a  matter  of  this  sort.  In  truth 
this  was  what  I  was;  I  knew  nothing  of  true  love  at  all;  how 
therefore  should  I  be  a  proper  lover?  I  saw  my  Cousin 
Tom,  who  mopped  himself  a  great  deal,  eyeing  me  now  and 
again;  and  he  presently  came  up  and  asked  me  where  Dolly 
was. 

"  In  her  chamber,  I  think,"  said  I,  with  my  nose  in  the 
air;  and  with  such  a  manner  that  he  said  no  more. 

It  was  enough  to  break  my  heart  to  continue  dancing; 
but  it  was  the  task  I  had  set  myself  upstairs;  and  till  near 
ten  o'clock  we  continued  to  dance — but  no  Dolly  to  help 
us.  I  had  even  determined  how  I  should  bear  myself  if  she 
came — and  how  superb  should  be  my  dignity;  but  she  did  not 
come  to  see  it.  We  ended  with  singing  "  Here's  a  health 
unto  His  Majesty";  and  I  took  care  that  my  voice  should 
be  loud  so  that  she  should  hear  it.  (I  had  even,  poor  fool 
that  I  was!  walked  heavily  past  her  chamber-door  just  now, 
that  she  might  hear  me  go.) 

When  all  were  gone  away  at  last,  I  waited  for  my  Cousin 
Tom,  and  then  went  with  him  into  the  parlour;  where  I 
told  him  very  briefly  all  that  had  passed,  with  the  same  dignity 


ODDSFISH! 

that  I  had  set  myself  to  preserve.  I  even  spoke  in  a  high 
sort  of  voice,  to  shew  my  self-command  and  detachment. 
My  Cousin  Tom  appeared  as  if  thunderstruck. 

"  Good  God !  "  said  he.     "  The  minx !  to  behave  like  that !  " 

"  It  is  no  longer  any  concern  of  mine,"  I  said.  "  For  my- 
self I  shall  go  back  to  town  to-morrow." 

"  But "  began  he. 

"  My  dear  Cousin,"  I  said,  "  it  is  the  only  thing  that  I  can 
do — to  set  to  work  again.  Mistress  Dorothy  must  recover 
herself  alone.  I  could  not  expect  her  to  tolerate  such  a 
personage  as  I  must  appear  in  her  eyes." 

"  But  you  will  came  back  again,"  said  Tom.  "  And  I'll 
talk  to  the  chit  as  she  deserves." 

I   preserved  my  lofty   attitude. 

"  That  again,"  said  I,  "  is  no  concern  of  mine.  And  as 
for  coming  back,  when  Mistress  Dorothy  has  found  her  n 
husband  whom  she  can  respect — we  may  perhaps  consider  it." 

He  sat  very  silent  for  a  while  after  that;  and  I  know  now, 
though  I  did  not  know  then,  what  was  the  design  he  was 
considering — at  least  I  suppose  it  was  then  that  he  saw  it 
clear  before  him.  At  the  time  I  thought  he  was  giving  his 
attention  to  myself;  and  I  wondered  a  little  that  he  did 
not  press  me  again  to  stay,  though  I  would  not  have  done  so. 

It  was  a  very  desolate  morning  when  I  awakened  next 
day,  and  knew  what  had  happened,  and  that  I  must  go  away 
again  from  the  house  I  had  learned  so  much  to  love;  but 
there  was  no  help  for  it;  and,  as  I  put  on  my  clothes,  I 
put  on  my  pride  with  them;  and  came  down  very  cold  and 
haughty  to  get  my  "  morning  "  as  we  called  it,  in  the  dining- 
room  before  riding;  and  there  in  the  dining-room  was  my 
Cousin  Dolly,  whom  I  had  thought  to  be  in  her  chamber, 
as  the  door  was  shut  when  I  came  past  it. 

We  bade  one  another  good  morning  very  courteously  in- 
deed; but  we  gave  no  other  salute  to  one  another.  She 
knew  last  night  that  I  was  going,  as  my  Cousin  Tom  had 
told  her  maid  to  tell  her;  and  I  was  surprised  that  she  was 
there.  Presently  I  had  an  explanation  of  it. 

"  Cousin  Roger,"  said  she,  "  I  was  very  angry  last  night; 


ODDSFISH! 

and  I  wished  to  tell  you  I  was  sorry  for  that,  and  for  th< 
hard  words  I  used,  before  you  went  away." 

I  bowed  my  head  very  dignifiedly. 

"  And  I,  too/'  I  said,  "  must  ask  your  pardon  for  so  taking 
you  by  surprise.  I  thought "  and  then  I  ceased. 

She  had  looked  a  little  white  and  tired,  I  thought;  but  sh< 
flushed  again  with  anger  when  I  said  that. 

"  You  thought  it  would  be  no  surprise,"  she  said. 

"  I  did  not  say  so,  Cousin/'  said  I.  "  You  have  no  right 
to  interpret " 

"But  you  thought  it." 

I  drank  my  ale. 

"  Oh !  what  you  must  think  of  me ! "  she  cried  in  a  suddei 
passion;  and  ran  out  of  the  room. 

I  think  that  was  the  most  disconsolate  journey  I  have  ever 
taken.  It  was  a  cold  morning,  with  a  fine  rain  falling:  my 
man  James  was  disconsolate  too  (and  I  remembered  the 
dairy-maid,  when  I  saw  it),  and  I  was  leaving  the  one  place 
I  had  begun  to  think  of  as  my  home,  and  her  who  had  so 
much  made  it  home  to  me.  I  had  not  even  seen  her  again 
before  I  went;  and  our  last  words  had  been  of  anger;  and  of 
that  chopping  kind  of  argument  that  satisfies  no  one. 

I  tried  to  distract  myself  with  other  thoughts — of  what  I 
was  going  to;  for  I  had  determined  to  go  straight  to  White- 
hall and  ask  for  some  employment;  yet  back  and  back  again 
came  the  memories,  and  little  scenes  of  the  house,  and  the 
appearance  of  the  Great  Chamber  when  it  was  all  lit  up,  and 
of  the  figure  of  that  little  maid  who  had  so  angered  me,  and 
the  way  she  carried  her  head,  and  the  turns  of  her  hand — 
and  how  happy  we  all  were  yesterday  about  this  time.  How- 
ever, I  need  not  enlarge  upon  that.  Those  that  have  ever 
so  suffered  will  know  what  I  thought,  without  more  words; 
and  those  who  have  not  suffered  would  not  understand,  though 
I  used  ten  thousand.  And  every  step  of  all  the  way  to  Lon- 
don, which  we  reached  about  six  o'clock,  spoke  to  me  of  her 
with  whom  I  had  once  ridden  along  it.  As  we  came  up  into 
Covent  Garden  I  turned  to  my  man  James  and  gave  him  more 


ODDSFISH!  225 

confidence  than  I  had  ever  given  to  him  before — for  I  think 
that  he  knew  what  had  happened. 

"James,"  said  I,  "this  is  a  very  poor  home-coming;  but 
it  is  not  my  fault." 

Though  fortune  so  far  had  been  against  me,  I  must  confess 
that  it  favoured  me  a  little  better  afterwards,  for  when  I 
went  in  to  Mr.  Chiffinch's  on  the  next  morning,  he  gave  me 
the  very  news  that  I  wished  to  hear. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  you  are  the  very  man  I  most 
wished  to  see.  There  is  a  great  pother  in  France  again.  I 
do  not  know  all  the  ins  and  outs  of  the  affair;  but  His 
Maj  esty  is  very  anxious.  He  spoke  of  you  only  this  morning, 
Mr.  Mallock." 

My  heart  quickened  a  little.  In  spite  of  my  pain  it  was 
a  pleasure  to  hear  that  His  Majesty  had  spoken  of  me;  for 
I  think  my  love  to  him  was  very  much  more  deep,  in  one 
way,  though  not  in  another,  than  even  to  Dolly  herself. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch/'  said  I,  "  I  will  be  very  plain  with  you. 
I  have  had  a  disappointment;  and  I  came  back  to  town " 

He  whistled,  with  a  witty  look. 

"  The  pretty  cousin  ?  "  he  said. 

I  could  not  afford  to  quarrel  with  him,  but  I  could  keep 
my  dignity. 

"  That  is  my  affair,  Mr.  Chiffinch.  However — there  is 
the  fact.  I  am  come  to  town  for  this  very  purpose — to  beg 
for  something  to  do.  Will  His  Majesty  see  me?  " 

He  looked  at  me  for  an  instant;  then  he  thought  better, 
I  think,  of  any  further  rallying. 

"  Why  I  am  sure  he  will.  But  it  will  not  be  for  a  few 
days  yet.  There  is  a  hundred  businesses  at  Christmas.  Can 
you  employ  yourself  till  then  ?  " 

"  I  can  kick  my  heels,  I  suppose,"  said  I,  "  as  well  as  any 
man." 

"That  will  do  very  well,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch.  "But  I 
warn  you,  that  I  think  it  will  be  a  long  affair.  His  Majesty 
hath  entangled  himself  terribly,  and  Monsieur  Barillon  is 
furious." 


ODDSFISH! 

"  The  longer  the  better,"  said  I. 

On  the  twenty-ninth  I  went  down  to  see  my  Lord  Stafford 
die.  I  was  in  so  distracted  a  mood  that  I  must  see  some- 
thing, or  go  mad;  for  I  had  heard  that  it  would  not  be  until 
the  evening  of  that  day  that  His  Majesty  would  see  me,  and 
that  I  must  be  ready  to  ride  for  Dover  on  the  next  morning. 
Mr.  Chiffinch  had  told  me  enough  to  shew  that  the  business 
would  be  yet  more  subtle  and  delicate  than  the  last;  and  that 
I  might  expect  some  very  considerable  recognition  if  I 
carried  it  through  rightly.  I  longed  to  be  at  it.  One  half  of 
my  longing  came  from  the  desire  to  occupy  my  mind  with 
something  better  than  my  poor  bungled  love-affairs;  and  the 
other  half  from  a  frantic  kind  of  determination  to  shew  my 
Mistress  Dolly  that  I  was  better  than  she  thought  me;  and 
that  I  was  man  enough  to  attend  to  my  affairs  and  carry  them 
out  competently,  even  if  I  were  not  man  enough  to  marry  her. 
It  must  be  understood  that  I  shewed  no  signs  of  this  to  anyone, 
and  scarcely  allowed  it  even  to  myself ;  but  speaking  with  that 
honesty  which  I  have  endeavoured  to  preserve  throughout  all 
these  memoirs,  I  am  bound  to  say  that  my  mind  was  in  very 
much  that  condition  of  childish  anger  and  resentment.  I  had 
a  name  as  a  strong  man :  God  only  knew  how  weak  I  was ;  for 
I  did  not  even  know  it  myself. 

There  was  a  great  crowd  on  Tower  Hill  to  see  my  Lord 
Stafford's  execution;  for  not  only  was  he  well  known,  al- 
though, as  I  have  said,  not  greatly  beloved;  but  the  rumours 
were  got  about — and  that  they  were  true  enough  I  knew  from 
Mr.  Chiffinch — that  he  had  said  very  strange  things  about  my 
Lord  Shaftesbury,  and  how  he  could  save  his  own  life  if  he 
willed,  not  by  confessing  anything  of  which  he  himself  had 
been  accused,  but  by  relating  certain  matters  in  which  my 
Lord  Shaftesbury  was  concerned.  However,  he  did  not; 
yet  the  tale  had  gone  about  that  perhaps  he  would;  and  that 
a  reprieve  might  come  even  upon  the  scaffold  itself. 

When  I  came  to  Tower  Hill  on  horseback,  about  nine 
o'clock,  the  crowd  covered  the  most  of  it;  but  I  drove  my 


ODDSFISH! 

horse  through  a  little,  so  that  I  could  have  a  fair  sight  both 
of  the  scaffold,  and  of  the  way,  kept  clear  by  soldiers,  along 
which  the  prisoner  must  come. 

I  had  not  been  there  above  a  few  minutes,  when  a  com- 
pany went  by,  and  in  the  midst  the  two  sheriffs,  on  horseback, 
whose  business  it  was  to  carry  through  the  execution;  and 
they  drew  up  outside  the  gate,  to  preserve  the  liberties  of 
the  Tower.  While  they  were  waiting,  I  watched  those  that 
were  upon  the  scaffold — two  writers  to  take  down  all  that 
was  said;  and  the  headsman  with  his  axe  in  a  cloth — but  this 
he  presently  uncovered — and  the  block  which  he  laid  down 
upon  the  black  baize  put  ready  for  it,  and  for  the  prisoner  to 
lie  down  upon.  Then  the  coffin  was  put  up  behind,  with  but 
the  two  letters  W.  S.  as  I  heard  afterwards:  and  the  year 
1680. 

Then,  as  a  murmur  broke  out  in  the  crowd,  I  turned;  and 
there  was  my  Lord  coming  along,  walking  with  a  staff,  be- 
tween his  guards,  with  the  sheriffs — of  whom  Mr.  Cornish 
was  one  and  Mr.  Bethell  the  other — and  the  rest  following 
after. 

When  my  Lord  was  come  up  on  the  scaffold,  the  headsman 
had  gone  again;  but  he  asked  for  him  and  gave  him  some 
money  at  which  the  man  seemed  very  discontented,  where- 
upon he  gave  him  some  more.  It  is  a  very  curious  custom 
this — but  I  think  it  is  that  the  headsman  may  strike  straight, 
and  not  make  a  botch  of  it. 

WThen  my  Lord  turned  again  I  could  see  his  face  very 
plainly.  He  wore  a  peruke,  and  his  hat  upon  that.  He 
was  in  a  dark  suit,  plain  but  rich;  and  had  rings  upon  his 
fingers,  which  I  could  see  as  he  spoke.  He  was  wonderfully 
upright  for  a  man  of  his  age;  and  his  face  shewed  no  per- 
turbation at  all,  though  it  was  more  fallen  than  I  had  thought. 

He  read  all  his  speech,  very  clearly,  from  a  paper  he  took 
out  of  his  pocket;  but  as  he  delivered  copies  of  it  to  the 
Sheriffs  and  the  writers — (and  it  was  put  in  print,  too,  on 
the  very  same  day  by  two  o'clock) — I  need  not  give  it  here. 
He  declared  his  innocence  most  emphatically;  calling  God 
to  witness;  and  he  thanked  God  that  his  death  was  come 


ODDSFISH! 

on  him  in  such  a  way  that  he  could  prepare  himself  well  for 
eternity;  but  he  did  not  thank  the  King  for  remitting  the 
penalties  of  treason,  as  he  might  have  done.  He  made  no 
great  references,  as  was  expected  that  he  would,  to  dis- 
closures that  he  might  have  made;  but  only  in  general  terms. 
He  denied  most  strongly  that  it  was  any  part  of  the  Catholic 
Religion  to  give  or  receive  indulgences  for  murder  or  for  any 
other  sin;  and  he  ended  by  committing  his  soul  into  the 
hands  of  Jesus  Christ,  by  whose  merits  and  passion  he  hoped 
to  be  saved.  His  voice  was  thin,  but  very  clear  for  so  old 
a  man;  and  the  crowd  listened  to  him  with  respect  and  at- 
tention. I  think  all  those  Catholic  deaths  and  the  speeches 
that  the  prisoners  make  will  by  and  by  begin  to  affect  public 
opinion,  and  lead  men  to  reflect  that  those  who  stand  in  the 
immediate  presence  of  God,  are  not  likely,  one  after  another, 
to  go  before  Him  with  lies  upon  their  lips. 

When  he  was  done  he  distributed  the  copies  of  his  speech, 
and  then  presently  kneeled  down,  and  read  a  prayer  or  two. 
They  were  in  Latin,  but  I  could  not  hear  the  words  distinctly. 

When  he  rose  up  again,  all  observing  him,  he  went  to  the 
rail  and  spoke  aloud. 

"  God  bless  you,  gentlemen!  "  he  said.  "  God  preserve  His 
Majesty;  he  is  as  good  a  prince  as  ever  governed  you;  obey 
him  as  faithfully  as  I  have  done,  and  God  bless  you  all, 
gentlemen !  " 

It  was  very  affecting  to  hear  him  speak  so,  for  he  did  it 
very  emphatically;  but  even  then  one  of  their  ministers  that 
was  on  the  scaffold  would  not  let  him  be. 

"  Sir/*  he  asked,  speaking  loud  all  across  the  scaffold, 
"  do  you  disown  the  indulgences  of  the  Romish  Church  ?  " 

My  Lord  turned  round  suddenly  in  a  great  passion. 

"  Sir !  "  he  cried.  "  What  have  you  to  do  with  my  religion  ? 
However,  I  do  say  that  the  Church  of  Rome  allows  no  in- 
dulgences for  murder,  lying  and  the  like;  and  whatever  I 
have  said  is  true." 

"  What !  "  cried  the  minister.  "  Have  you  received  no 
absolution  ?  " 

"  I  have  received  none  at  all,"  said  my  Lord,  more  quietly ; 


ODDSFISH! 

meaning  of  the  kind  that  the  minister  meant,  for  I  have  no 
doubt  at  all  that  he  made  his  confession  in  the  Tower. 

"  You  said  that  you  never  saw  those  witnesses  ?  "  asked 
the  minister,  who,  I  think,  must  have  been  a  little  uneasy. 

"  I  never  saw  any  of  them/'  said  my  Lord,  "  but  Dugdale ; 
and  that  was  at  a  time  when  I  spoke  to  him  about  a  foot- 
boy/'  (This  was  at  Tixall,  when  Dugdale  was  bailiff  there  to 
my  Lord  Aston.) 

They  let  him  alone  after  that;  and  he  immediately  began 
to  prepare  himself  for  death.  First  he  took  off  his  watch 
and  his  rings,  and  gave  them  to  two  or  three  of  his  friends 
who  were  on  the  scaffold  with  him.  Then  he  took  his  staff 
which  was  against  the  rail,  and  gave  that  too;  and  last  his 
crucifix,  which  he  took,  with  its  chain,  from  around  his 
neck. 

His  man  then  came  up  to  him,  and  very  respectfully  helped 
him  off  with  his  peruke  first,  and  then  his  coat,  laying  them 
one  on  the  other  in  a  corner.  My  Lord's  head  looked  very 
thin  and  shrunken  when  that  was  done,  as  it  were  a  bird's 
head.  Then  his  man  came  up  again  with  a  black  silk  cap 
to  put  his  hair  under,  which  was  rather  long  and  very  grey 
and  thin;  and  he  did  it.  And  then  his  man  disposed  his 
waistcoat  and  shirt,  pulling  them  down  and  turning  them 
back  a  little. 

Then  my  Lord  looked  this  way  and  that  for  an  instant; 
and  then  went  forward  to  the  black  baize,  and  kneeled  on  it, 
with  his  man's  help,  and  then  laid  himself  down  flat,  putting 
his  chin  over  the  block  which  was  not  above  five  or  six  inches 
high. 

Yet  no  one  moved — and  the  headsman  stood  waiting  in 
a  corner,  with  his  axe.  One  of  the  sheriffs — Mr.  Cornish,  I 
think  it  was — said  something  to  the  headsman;  but  I  could 
not  hear  what  it  was;  and  then  I  saw  my  Lord  kneel  upright 
again,  and  then  stand  up.  I  think  he  was  a  little  deaf,  and 
had  not  heard  what  was  said. 

"  Why,  what  do  you  want  ?  "  he  said. 

"  What  sign  will  you  give  ?  "  asked  Mr.  Cornish. 


230  ODDSFISH! 

"  No   sign   at   all.     Take   your   own   time.     God's   will 
done/'    said    my    Lord;    and    again    applied    himself    to    the 
block,  his  man  helping  him  as  before,  and  then  standing  back. 

"  I  hope  you  forgive  me,"  said  the  headsman,  before  he 
was  down. 

"  I  do,"  said  my  Lord ;  and  that  was  the  last  word  that  he 
spoke;  for  the  headsman  immediately  stepped  up,  so  soon 
as  he  was  down,  and  with  one  blow  cut  his  head  all  off,  ex- 
cept a  bit  of  skin,  which  he  cut  through  with  his  knife. 

Then  he  lifted  up  the  head,  and  carried  it  to  the  four  sides 
of  the  scaffold  by  the  hair,  crying: 

"  Here  is  the  head  of  a  traitor,"  as  the  custom  was.  My 
Lord's  face  looked  very  peaceful. 

I  rode  home  again  alone,  thinking  of  what  I  had  seen,  anc 
the  innocent  blood  that  was  being  shed,  and  wondering 
whether  this  might  not  be  the  last  shed  for  that  miserable 
falsehood.  But  even  after  that  sight,  the  thought  of  my 
Cousin  Dorothy  was  never  very  far  away;  and  before  I  was 
home  again  I  was  once  more  thinking  of  her  more  than  of 
that  from  which  I  was  just  come,  or  of  that  to  which  I  was 
going,  for  I  was  to  see  His  Majesty  that  evening  and  so  to 
France  next  day. 


PART     III 


CHAPTER    I 

IT  was  on  a  very  stormy  evening,  ten  months  later,  that  I 
rode  again  into  London,  on  my  way  from  Rome  and  Paris. 

Now,  here  again,  I  must  omit  altogether,  except  on  one 
or  two  very  general  points,  all  that  had  passed  since  I  had 
gone  away  on  the  day  after  my  Lord  Stafford's  execution  on 
Tower  Hill.  It  is  enough  to  say  that  I  had  done  my  business 
in  Paris  very  much  to  His  Majesty's  satisfaction,  as  well  as 
to  that  of  others;  and  that  M.  Barillon  himself  had  urged 
me  to  stay  there  altogether,  saying  that  I  could  make  a 
career  for  myself  there  (as  the  Romans  say),  such  as  I  could 
never  make  in  England.  But  I  would  not,  though  I  must 
confess  that  I  was  very  much  tempted  to  it;  and  I  know 
now,  though  I  did  not  know  it  altogether  then,  that  there 
were  just  two  things  that  prevented  me — and  these  were 
that  His  Majesty  and  my  Cousin  Dorothy  were  in  England 
and  not  France. 

Of  my  Cousin  Dorothy  I  had  heard  scarcely  anything  at 
all;  for  the  last  letter  I  had  had  from  Hare  Street  was  at 
Eastertide;  and  Tom  said  not  very  much  about  his  daughter, 
except  that  she  was  pretty  well;  and  that  he  thought  of 
taking  her  to  town  in  the  summer  for  a  little.  The  rest  of 
his  letter  was,  two-thirds  of  it  all  about  Hare  Street  and  the 
lambs  and  how  the  fruit  promised;  and  one-third  of  the  affairs 
of  the  kingdom. 

These  affairs,  of  which  I  learned  from  other  sources  besides 
my  Cousin  Tom,  were,  in  brief,  as  follows. 

His  Majesty,  for  the  first  time,  since  he  had  come  to  the 
throne,  had  shewn  an  extraordinary  open  courage  in  dealing 
with  the  country-party.  (I  must  confess  that  my  success 
in  France  was  not  wholly  without  connection  with  ^his. 
He  was  so  much  strengthened  in  French  affairs  that  he  felt, 
I  suppose,  that  he  could  act  more  strongly  at  home.) 

233 


ODDSFISH! 


rliament  that 

ivk.    nnrl    that 


First,  in  January,  he  had  dissolved  the  Parliament 
had  threatened  the  exclusion  of  the  Duke  of  York,  and  that 
would  vote  him  no  money  till  he  would  yield.  First  he  pro- 
rogued it,  though  there  was  a  great  clamour  in  his  very 
presence;  and  then  he  dissolved  it,  coming  in  so  early  in 
the  morning  that  none  suspected  his  design. 

Then  he  summoned  a  new  Parliament  to  meet  at  Oxford: 
for  at  Oxford  he  knew  he  would  have  the  support  of  the 
city,  whereas  at  London  he  had  not.  That  Parliament  at 
Oxford  will  never  be  forgotten,  I  think;  for  it  was  more 
like  an  armed  camp  than  a  Parliament.  Both  parties  went 
armed.  My  Lord  Shaftesbury,  in  order  to  rouse  the  feeling 
on  his  side,  went  there  in  a  borrowed  coach  without  his 
liveries,  as  if  he  feared  arrest  or  even  death.  But  His 
Majesty  answered  that  by  himself  going  with  all  his  guards 
about  him,  as  if  for  the  same  reason.  There  were  continual 
brawls  in  the  city,  and  duels  too.  The  parties  went  about 
like  companies  of  cats  and  dogs,  snarling  and  spitting  at  one 
another  continually;  and  so  fierce  was  the  feeling  that  noth- 
ing could  be  done.  My  Lord  Shaftesbury's  creatures  were 
still  strong  enough  to  hold  their  own;  and  at  last  His  Majesty 
did  the  bravest  thing  he  had  ever  done.  He  caused  a  sedan- 
chair  to  be  brought  privately  to  his  lodgings,  and  his  crown 
and  robes  to  be  put  in  there.  Then  he  went  in  himself,  and 
away  to  where  the  House  of  Lords  was  sitting,  and  before 
anyone  could  utter  a  word,  he  dissolved  the  Parliament  once 
more,  and  altogether,  and  never  again  summoned  another. 

But  that  was  not  all. 

First,  it  appeared  as  if  even  His  Majesty  himself  was 
frightened  at  what  he  had  done,  for  he  allowed  my  Lord 
Archbishop  of  Armagh,  Dr.  Oliver  Plunket,  to  be  convicted 
and  executed  in  London,  clean  contrary  to  all  evidence  or 
right  or  justice — just  because  he  was  a  Papist,  and  the  popular 
cry  had  been  raised  against  him  that  he  was  conspiring  to 
bring  the  French  over  to  Ireland,  whereas  he  was  a  good  and 
kindly  old  man,  who  lived  in  the  greatest  simplicity  and 
neither  did  nor  designed  harm  to  any  living  creature.  (I 
do  not  know  whether  it  was  the  name  France  that  frightened 


ODDSFISH!  235 

the  King;  but  certainly  at  that  time  I  was  engaged  on  his 
behalf  in  some  transactions  with  that  country  which  would 
have  ruined  him  had  they  ever  been  known.)  But  then  he 
recovered  himself,  after  the  sacrifice  of  one  more  Catholic, 
and  did  what  he  should  have  done  a  great  while  ago,  and 
caused  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  to  be  arrested  and  sent  to  the 
Tower  on  a  charge  of  fomenting  insurrection,  which  was 
precisely  what  my  Lord  had  been  doing  for  the  last  two 
years  at  least. 

But  His  Majesty's  scheme  fell  through;  for  the  sheriffs, 
who  were  Whigs,  and  on  my  Lord's  side,  therefore,  packed 
the  grand  jury  of  the  City  and  acquitted  him. 

Then  there  was  another  affair  of  which  I,  in  my  business 
in  France,  saw  something  of  the  other  side.  My  negotiations 
were  coming  to  a  successful  end,  when  news  came  over  to 
Paris  that  the  Prince  William  of  Orange  was  in  England,  and 
made  much  of  by  His  Majesty.  This  last  was  a  lie;  but 
I  wrote  across  to  His  Majesty  of  what  a  bad  impression  such 
a  rumour  made;  and  urged  him  to  make  amends — which 
he  did  very  handsomely.  The  Duke  of  Monmouth  too  was 
back  again  in  London,  and  so  was  the  Duke  of  York;  so  the 
chess-pieces  were  all  again  for  the  present  on  the  squares  on 
which  the  game  had  begun.  It  was  also  a  little  satisfaction 
to  me  to  hear  that  Her  Grace  of  Portsmouth  had  urged  the 
Duke  of  York's  return;  for  I  thought  myself  not  a  little 
responsible  for  her  change  of  face.  Once  again,  however, 
the  Duke  returned  to  finish  affairs  in  Scotland,  and  then 
came  back  to  Court;  and  it  was  on  his  journey  there  that  the 
Gloucester  was  wrecked,  and  His  Royal  Highness  so  nearly 
drowned. 

The  Duke  of  Monmouth  however  saw  that  affairs  were 
moving  against  him;  so  he  determined  on  a  very  bold  stroke; 
and,  after  returning  to  England  once  more  without  His 
Majesty's  leave,  went  through  all  the  country  as  if  on  a 
royal  progress;  and  it  was  astonishing  how  well  he  was 
received.  It  was  then  that  Mr.  Chiffinch  wrote  to  me  at 
length,  telling  me  of  the  spies  he  had  sent  to  follow  the 
Duke  everywhere,  and  asking  whether  I  would  not  come 


ODDSFISH! 

over  myself  to  help  in  it.  But  I  was  just  considering  whether 
I  would  not  go  to  Rome;  and,  indeed,  before  I  could  make 
up  my  mind,  another  letter  came  saying  that  the  Duke  was 
to  be  arrested,  and  then  let  out  on  bail,  and  that  he  could 
do  no  more  harm  for  the  present.  So  I  went  to  Rome, 
and  there  I  stayed  a  good  while,  reporting  myself  and  all 
that  I  had  done,  and  being  received  very  graciously  by  those 
who  had  sent  me. 

Since  then,  not  very  much  of  public  import  had  happened, 
until  in  the  first  week  in  November  I  received  in  Paris  a  very 
urgent  letter  from  Mr.  Chiffinch  telling  me  to  return  at  once; 
but  no  more  in  it  than  that. 

It  was  a  very  stormy  night,  as  I  have  said,  when  I  rode 
in  over  London  Bridge  to  where  the  lights  of  the  City  shone 
over  the  water. 

I  was  very  content  at  my  coming;  for  in  spite  of  all  my 
resolutions,  it  was  a  terrible  kind  of  happiness  to  me  to  be  in 
the  same  country  (and  so  near  to  her,  too)  as  was  my  Cousin 
Dorothy.  I  had  striven  to  put  her  out  of  my  head,  I  had 
occupied  myself  with  that  which  is  the  greatest  of  all  sports 
— and  that  is  the  game  that  Kings  play  in  secret — I  had 
become  something  of  a  personage,  and  rode  now  with  four 
servants,  instead  of  one.  Yet  never  could  I  forget  her.  But 
I  was  resolved  to  play  no  more  with  such  nonsense;  to  live 
altogether  in  London,  and  to  send  my  men  in  a  day  or  two 
to  get  my  things  from  Hare  Street.  It  often  appears  to  me 
very  strange,  when  I  see  some  great  man  go  by  whose  name 
is  in  all  men's  mouths  for  some  office  he  holds  or  for  his  great 
wealth  or  power,  to  reflect  that  he  has  his  secret  interests 
as  much  as  any,  and  is  moved  by  them  far  more  deeply 
than  by  those  public  matters  for  which  men  think  that  he 
cares.  I  was  not  yet  a  great  personage,  though  I  meant  to 
be  so;  and  my  name  was  in  no  men's  mouths,  for  it  was  of 
the  very  essence  of  what  I  did  that  it  should  not  be;  yet  I 
was  held  in  high  consideration  by  two  kings.  But  for  all 
that,  as  I  turned  westwards  from  London  Bridge,  I  looked 


ODDSFISH!  237 

northwards  up  Gracechurch  Street,  and  longed  to  be  riding 
to  Hare   Street,  rather  than  to  Whitehall. 

It  was  strange,  and  yet  very  familiar  too,  to  go  up  those 
stairs  again,  all  alone — (for  I  had  sent  my  men  on  to  Covent 
Garden,  where  I  had  taken  two  sets  of  lodgings  now,  instead 
of  one) — to  tell  the  servant  that  Mr.  Chiffinch  looked  for  me, 
and  to  be  conducted  by  him  straight  through  to  the  private 
closet  where  he  awaited  me  over  his  papers.  I  was  in  my 
boots,  all  splashed,  and  very  weary  indeed.  Yet  I  had 
learned,  ever  since  the  day  when  His  Majesty  had  found  fault 
with  me  so  long  ago,  never  to  delay  even  by  five  minutes,  when 
kings  call. 

"  Well?  "  I  said;  as  I  came  in. 

"  Well !  "  said  he ;  and  took  me  by  the  hands. 

Now  it  may  seem  surprising  that  I  could  tolerate  such  a 
man  as  was  Mr.  Chiffinch,  still  more  that  I  should  have  be- 
come on  such  terms  with  him.  The  truth  is,  that  I  regarded 
him  as  two  men,  and  not  one.  On  the  one  side  he  was  the 
spy,  the  servant,  the  panderer  to  the  King's  more  disgrace- 
ful secrets;  on  the  other  he  was  a  man  of  an  extraordinary 
shrewdness,  utterly  devoted  to  His  Majesty,  and  very  com- 
petent indeed  in  very  considerable  affairs.  If  ever  the 
secret  memoirs  of  Charles  II.  see  the  light  of  day,  Mr. 
Chiffinch  will  be  honoured  and  admired,  as  well  as  contemned. 

"First  sup;"  he  said.  "I  have  all  ready:  and  not  one 
word  till  you  are  done." 

He  took  me  through  into  a  little  dining-room  that  was 
opposite  the  closet;  and  here  was  all  that  a  hungry  man 
might  desire  of  cold  meats  and  wine.  He  had  had  it  set  out, 
he  told  me  ever  since  five  o'clock  (for  I  had  sent  to  tell  him 
I  would  be  there  that  night). 

While  I  ate  he  would  say  nothing  at  all  of  the  business  on 
hand;  but  talked  only  of  France  and  what  I  had  done  there. 
He  told  me  the  King  was  very  greatly  pleased;  and  there 
were  rewards  if  I  wished  them — or  even  a  title,  though  he 
was  not  sure  of  what  kind,  for  I  was  a  very  young  man. 


ODDSFISH! 

"  He  vows  you  have  done  a  thousand  times  more  than  the 
Duchess  of  Portsmouth  in  all  her  time.  But  I  would  recom- 
mend you  to  take  nothing.  It  will  not  be  forgotten,  you  may 
be  sure.  If  you  took  anything  now,  it  would  make  you 
known,  and  ruin  half  your  work.  If  you  will  take  my  advice, 
Mr.  Mallock,  you  will  tell  the  King,  Bye  and  bye;  and  have 
a  peerage  when  the  time  comes." 

Now  of  course  these  thoughts  had  crossed  my  mind  too: 
but  it  was  more  to  hear  them  from  a  man  like  this.  I  nodded 
at  him  but  said  nothing,  feigning  that  my  mouth  was  full; 
for  indeed  I  did  not  quite  know  what  to  say.  I  need  not  say 
that  the  thought  of  my  Cousin  Dorothy  came  to  me  again 
very  forcibly.  At  least  I  should  have  shewn  her  what  I 
could  do. 

When  I  was  quite  done,  Mr.  Chiffinch  carried  me  back  to> 
the  parlour;  and  there,  having  locked  the  door,  he  told  me 
what  was  wanted  of  me. 

When  he  had  done,  I  looked  at  him  in  astonishment. 

"You  are  as  sure  as  that?"  I  said. 

"  We  are  sure,  beyond  the  very  leastest  doubt,  that  at 
last  there  is  a  plot  to  kill  the  King.  There  are  rumours 
and  rumours.  Well,  these  are  of  the  right  kind.  And  we  are 
convinced  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  is  behind  it,  and  my 
Lord  Essex,  and  Mr.  Sidney;  and  who  else  we  do  not  know. 
My  men  whom  I  sent  to  spy  out  how  Monmouth  was  received 
in  the  country,  tell  me  the  same.  But  the  trouble  is  that  we 
have  no  proof  at  all;  and  cannot  lay  a  finger  on  them.  And 
there  is  only  that  way,  that  I  told  you  of,  to  find  it  out." 

"  That  I  should  mix  with  them — feign  to  be  one  of  them !  " 
said  I. 

The  man  threw  out  his  hands. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  I  told  the  King  you  were  too 
nice  for  it.  He  said  on  the  contrary  that  he  was  sure  you 
would  do  it;  that  it  was  not  a  matter  of  niceness,  but  of 
plot  against  counterplot." 

"  A  pretty  simile !  "  I  said  with  some  irony ;  for  I  confess 
I  did  not  like  the  idea;  though  I  was  far  from  sure  I  would 
not  do  it  in  the  end. 


ODDSFISH!  239 

"  '  If  one  army  is  besieging  a  castle  or  town/  said  he,  '  and 
mines  beneath  the  ground  after  nightfall  secretly,  is  it  under- 
hand action  to  do  the  same,  and  to  countermine  them  ?  '  But 
I  said  I  was  not  sure  what  you  would  think  of  it.  You  see, 
Mr.  Mallock,  I  scarcely  know  a  single  person  who  unites 
the  qualities  that  you  do.  We  must  have  a  gentleman,  or  he 
would  never  be  accepted  by  them;  and  he  must  be  a  shrewd 
man  too.  Well,  I  will  not  say  we  have  no  shrewd  gentlemen: 
but  what  shrewd  gentlemen  have  we,  think  you,  who  are 
not  perfectly  known — and  their  politics  ?  " 

"  The  Duchess  of  Portsmouth  knows  me/'  said  I,  beginning 
to  hesitate. 

"  But  she  does  not  know  one  word  of  this  affair ;  nor  will 
they  tell  her.  She  is  far  too  loyal  for  that." 

"  But  she  will  have  told  others  what  I  am/' 

"  It  is  not  likely,  Mr.  Mallock.  We  must  take  our  chance 
of  it.  Truly  I  see  no  one  for  it  but  yourself.  I  would  not 
have  sent  for  you,  if  I  had,  for  you  were  very  useful  in 
France.  But  the  difficulty  is,  you  see,  that  we  can  take  no 
observable  precautions.  We  have  doubled  the  guards  inside 
the  palace  at  night;  but  we  dare  not  in  the  day;  for  if  that 
were  known,  they  would  suspect  that  we  knew  all,  and  would 
be  on  their  guard.  As  it  is,  they  have  no  idea  that  we  know 
anything." 

"  How  do  they  mean  to  do  it?  " 

"  That  again  we  do  not  know.  If  they  can  find  a  fanatic — 
and  there  are  plenty  of  the  old  Covenanting  blood  left — they 
might  shoot  His  Majesty  as  he  sits  at  supper.  Or  they  may 
drag  him  out  of  his  coach  one  day,  as  they  did  with  Arch- 
bishop Sharpe.  Or  they  might  poison  him.  I  have  the  cook 
always  to  taste  the  dishes  before  they  come  into  Hall;  but  who 
can  guard  against  so  many  avenues  ?  " 

I  sat  considering;  but  I  was  so  weary  that  I  knew  I  could 
decide  nothing  rightly.  On  the  one  side  the  thing  appealed 
to  me;  for  there  was  danger  in  it,  and  what  does  a  young 
man  love  like  that?  And  there  was  a  great  compliment  in  it 
for  me — that  I  should  be  the  one  man  they  had  for  the  affair. 


240  ODDSFISH! 

Yet  it  did  not  sound  to  me  very  like  work  for  a  gentleman — 
to  feign  to  be  a  conspirator — to  win  confidence  and  then  to 
betray  it,  in  however  a  good  cause. 

What  astonished  me  most  however  was  the  thought  that 
the  country-party  had  waxed  as  desperate  as  this.  Certainly 
their  tide  was  going  down — as  I  had  heard  in  France;  but  I 
did  not  know  it  was  gone  so  low  as  this.  And  that  they  who 
had  lied  and  perjured  themselves  over  the  Gates  falsehoods, 
and  had  used  them,  and  had  kept  the  people's  suspicions 
alive,  and  had  professed  such  loyalty,  and  had  been  the 
cause  of  so  much  bloodshedding — that  these  men  should  now, 
upon  their  side,  enter  upon  the  very  design  that  they  had 
accused  the  Catholics  of — this  was  very  nearly  enough  to  de- 
cide me. 

"  Well,"  said  I,  "  you  must  give  me  twenty-four  hours  to 
determine  in.  I  am  drawn  two  ways.  I  do  not  know  what 
to  do." 

"  I  can  assure  you,"  said  the  page  eagerly,  "  that  His 
Majesty  would  give  you  almost  anything  you  asked  for — if 
you  did  this,  and  were  successful." 

I  pursed  my  lips  up. 

"  Perhaps  he  would,"  I  said.  "  But  I  do  not  know  that 
I  want  very  much." 

"  Then  he  would  give  you  all  the  more." 

I  stood  up  to  take  my  leave. 

"  Well,  sir,"  I  said,  "  I  must  go  home  again  and  to  bed. 
I  am  tired  out.  I  will  be  with  you  again  to-morrow  at  the 
same  time." 

He  rose  to  take  me  to  the  outer  door. 

"  You  will  not  want  to  go  to  Hare  Street  this  time,"  he  said, 
smiling. 

"To  Hare  Street!"  I  said.     "Why  should  I  go  there?" 

"  Well— the  pretty  cousin !  "  said  he. 

I  set  my  teeth.     I  did  not  like  Mr.  Chiffinch's  familiarities. 

"  Well,  then,  why  should  I  not  go?  "  I  asked. 

"Why:  she  is  here!     Did  you  not  know?" 

"  Here ! — in  London." 

"Aye:  in  Whitehall.     I  saw  her  only  yesterday." 


ODDSFISH! 

"  In  Whitehall!     What  do  you  mean,  Mr.  Chiffinch?  " 

I  suppose  my  face  went  white.  I  knew  that  my  heart 
beat  like  a  hammer. 

"  Why,  what  I  say !  "  said  he.  "  Why  do  you  look  like 
that,  Mr.  Mallock?" 

"  Tell  me!  "  I  cried.     "  Tell  me  this  instant!  " 

"Why:  she  is  Maid  of  Honour  to  Her  Majesty.  The 
Duchess  of  Portsmouth  is  protecting  her." 

"Where  is  she?" 

••  Why " 

"  Where  is  she?  " 

"  She  is  with  the  rest,  I  suppose.  .  .  .  Mr.  Mallock !  Mr. 
Mallock !  Where  are  you  going  ?  " 

But  I  was  gone. 


CHAPTER     I 

WHEN  I  was  out  in  the  air  I  stopped  short;  and  then  re- 
membering that  Mr.  Chiffinch  would  be  after  me  perhaps, 
and  would  try  to  prevent  me,  I  went  on  as  quick  as  I  could, 
turned  a  corner  or  two  in  that  maze  of  passages,  and  stopped 
again.  As  yet  I  had  no  idea  as  to  what  to  do;  my  brain 
burned  with  horror  and  fury;  and  I  stood  there  in  the  dark, 
clenching  my  hands  again  and  again,  with  my  whip  in  one 
of  them.  It  was  enough  for  me  that  my  Cousin  Dolly  was 
in  that  den  of  tigers  and  serpents  that  was  called  the  Court, 
and  under  the  protection  of  the  woman  once  called  Carwell. 
There  was  not  one  thought  in  my  brain  but  this — all  others 
were  gone,  or  were  but  as  phantoms — the  King,  the  Duke, 
Monmouth,  the  Queen — they  would  be  so  many  wicked  ghosts, 
and  no  more — before  me — and  I  would  go  through  them  as 
through  smoke,  to  tear  her  out  of  it. 

I  suppose  that  some  species  of  sanity  returned  to  me  after 
a  while,  for  I  found  myself  presently  pacing  up  and  down 
the  terrace  by  the  river,  and  considering  that  this  was  a  strange 
hour — eight  o'clock  at  night,  to  be  searching  out  one  of  Her 
Majesty's  ladies;  and,  after  that,  little  by  little,  persons  and 
matters  began  to  take  their  right  proportions  on  them  again. 
I  could  not,  I  perceived,  merely  demand  where  Mistress 
Jermyn  lodged,  beat  down  her  door  and  carry  her  away  with 
me  safe  to  Hare  Street.  Their  Majesties  of  England  still 
stood  for  something  in  Whitehall,  and  so  did  reason  and 
commonsense,  and  Dolly's  own  good  name.  I  began  to  per- 
ceive that  matters  were  not  so  simple. 

I  do  not  think  I  reasoned  at  all  as  to  her  dangers  there; 
but  I  was  as  one  who  sees  a  flower  on  a  dunghill.  One  does 
not  argue  about  the  matter,  or  question  whether  it  be  smirched 
or  not,  nor  how  it  got  there.  Neither  did  I  consider  at  all 
how  my  cousin  came  to  be  at  Court,  nor  whether  any  evil 
had  yet  come  to  her.  I  did  not  even  consider  that  I  did  not 

242 


ODDSFISH!  243 

know  whether  she  were  but  just  come,  or  had  been  there  a 
great  while.  I  considered  only  that  she  must  be  got  out  of 
it — and  how  to  set  about  it. 

I  might  have  stood  and  paced  there  till  midnight,  had  not 
one  of  the  sentinels  at  the  water-gate — placed  there  I  suppose, 
as  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  told  me  just  now,  as  an  additional  se-' 
curity,  after  nightfall — stepped  out  from  his  place  and  chal- 
lenged me.  I  had  had  the  word,  of  course,  as  I  came  in;  and 
I  gave  it  him,  and  he  was  contented.  But  I  was  not.  Here, 
thought  I,  is  my  opportunity. 

"  Here,"  said  I,  "  can  you  tell  me  where  Mistress  Dorothy 
Jermyn  is  lodged  ?  " 

He  was  a  young  fellow,  plainly  from  the  country,  as  I 
saw  by  his  look  in  the  light  of  the  lantern  he  had. 

"  No,  sir,"  he  said. 

"  Think  again,"  I  said.  "  She  is  under  the  protection  of 
Her  Grace  of  Portsmouth.  She  is  one  of  the  Queen's  ladies." 

"  Is  she  a  little  lady,  sir — from  the  country — that  came 
last  month?" 

"  Yes,"  I  said,  feigning  that  I  knew  all  about  it,  and  trying 
to  control  my  voice.  "  That  is  she." 

"  Why,  she  is  with  the  others,  sir,"  he  said. 

"  She  is  not  with  the  Duchess  then  ?  " 

"  No,  sir ;  I  know  she  is  not.  There  is  no  lady  with  the 
Duchess  beside  her  own.  I  was  on  my  duty  there  last  week." 

This  was  something  of  a  relief.  At  least  she  was  not  with 
that  woman. 

Now  I  knew  where  the  Queen's  Maids  lodged.  It  was  not 
an  hundred  yards  away,  divided  by  a  little  passage-way  from 
Her  Majesty's  apartment,  and  adjoining  the  King's,  with  a 
wall  between.  There  were  five  of  these;  besides  those  who 
lodged  with  their  families — but  they  changed  so  continually 
that  I  could  not  be  sure  whether  I  knew  any  of  them  or  not. 
I  had  had  a  word  or  two  once  with  Mademoiselle  de  la  Garde ; 
but  she  was  the  only  one  I  had  ever  spoken  with;  and  besides, 
she  might  no  longer  be  there;  and  she  was  a  great  busy- 
body too;  and  beyond  her  I  knew  only  that  there  was  an 
old  lady,  whose  name  I  had  forgot,  that  was  called  Governess 


ODDSFISH! 

to  them  all  and  played  the  part  of  duenna,  except  when  she 
could  be  bribed  by  green  oysters  and  Spanish  wine,  not 
play   it.     Such   fragments   of  gossip   as   that  was   all  that 
could  remember;   as  well  as  certain  other  gossip  too,  as 
the  life  of  these  ladies,  which  I  strove  to  forget. 

However,  I  could  do  nothing  at  that  instant,  but  bid  the 
man  good-night,  and  go  up  into  the  palace  again  with  a 
brisk  assured  air,  as  if  I  knew  what  I  was  about.  A  bell 
beat  eight  from  the  clock-tower,  as  I  went.  Then  when  I  had 
turned  the  corner  to  the  left,  I  stopped  again  to  reckon  up 
what  I  knew. 

This  did  not  come  to  very  much.  Her  Majesty,  I  knew, 
was  attended  always  by  two  Maids  of  Honour  at  the  least; 
and  at  this  hour  would  be,  very  likely,  at  cards  with  them, 
if  there  were  no  reception  or  entertainment.  If  there  were, 
then  all  would  be  there,  and  Dolly  with  them;  and  even  in 
that  humour  I  did  not  think  of  forcing  my  way  into  Her 
Majesty's  presence  and  demanding  my  cousin.  These  re- 
ceptions or  parties  or  some  such  thing,  were  at  least  twice 
or  three  times  a  week,  if  Her  Maj  esty  were  well.  The  reason- 
able thing  to  do,  I  confess,  was  to  go  home  to  Covent  Garden, 
quietly;  and  come  again  the  next  day  and  find  out  a  little; 
but  there  was  very  little  reason  in  me.  I  was  set  but  upon 
one  thing;  and  that  was  to  see  Dolly  that  night  with  my  own 
eyes;  and  assure  myself  that  matters  were,  so  far,  well  with 
her. 

At  the  last  I  set  out  bravely,  my  legs  carrying  me  along — 
as  it  appears  to  me  now — of  their  own  accord:  for  I  cannot 
say  that  I  had  formed  any  design  at  all  of  what  I  should  do; 
and  there  I  found  myself  after  a  minute  or  two  of  walking 
in  the  rain,  at  the  door  of  the  lodgings  where  all  the  ladies 
that  had  not  their  families  at  Court  lived  together.  There 
were  three  steps  up  to  the  heavy  oaken  door  that  was  studded 
over  with  nails;  and  in  the  little  window  by  the  door  a  light 
was  burning.  I  had  come  by  the  sentinel  that  stood  before 
the  way  up  to  the  King's  lodgings,  and  had  given  him  the 
word;  but  I  saw  that  he  was  watching  me,  and  that  I  must 


ODDSFISH!  245 

shew  no  hesitation.  I  went  therefore  up  the  steps,  as  bold 
as  a  lion,  and  knocked  upon  the  oaken  door. 

I  waited  a  full  minute;  but  there  was  no  answer;  so  I 
knocked  again,  louder;  and  presently  heard  movements  within, 
and  the  sound  of  the  bolts  being  drawn.  Then  the  door 
opened,  but  only  a  little;  and  I  saw  an  old  woman's  face 
looking  at  me. 

She  said  something;  but  I  could  not  hear  what  it  was. 

"  Is  Mistress  Jermyn  within  doors  ?  "  I  asked. 

The  old  face  mumbled  at  me;  but  I  could  not  hear  a  word. 

"  Is  Mistress  Jermyn  within  ?  "  I  asked  again. 

Once  again  the  face  mumbled  at  me;  and  then  the  door 
began  to  close. 

This  would  never  do;  so  I  set  my  foot  against  it,  suddenly 
all  overcome  with  impatience — (for  I  was  in  no  mood  to  chop 
words) — and  with  the  same  kind  of  fury  that  had  seized  me 
in  Mr.  Chiffinch's  rooms.  I  saw  red,  as  the  saying  is;  and 
it  was  not  likely  that  a  deaf  old  woman  would  stop  me.  She 
fluttered  the  door  passionately;  and  then,  as  I  pushed  on  it, 
she  cried  out.  There  was  a  great  rattle  of  footsteps,  and  as 
I  came  into  the  little  paved  entrance,  a  heavy  bald  fellow 
ran  out  of  the  room  where  I  had  seen  the  light — (which  was 
the  porter's  parlour) — in  his  shirt-sleeves,  very  angry  and 
hot-looking. 

He  looked  at  me,  like  a  bull,  with  lowered  head;  and  I 
saw  that  he  carried  some  weapon  in  his  hand. 

"  Is  Mistress  Jermyn  within  doors  ?  "  I  asked,  putting  on 
a  high  kind  of  air. 

"  Who  the  devil  are  you?  "  said  he. 

I  was  not  going  to  argue  that  point,  for  it  was  the  weakest 
spot  in  my  assault.  So  I  sat  down  on  the  stairs  that  rose 
straight  up  to  the  first  floor.  (It  was  a  little  oak-panelled 
entrance  that  I  was  in,  with  a  single  lamp  burning  in  a  socket 
on  the  wall.) 

"  You  will  first  answer  my  question,"  I  said.  "  Is  Mistress 
Jermyn  within  doors  ?  " 

Then  he  came  at  me,  thinking,  I  suppose  that  my  sitting 


246  ODDSFISH! 

down  gave  him  an  advantage,  and  he  lifted  his  weapon  as 
came.  I  had  no  time  to  draw  my  own  sword — which  v 
besides,  somewhere  between  my  legs;  but  I  rose  up,  and, 
I  rose,  struck  out  at  his  chin  with  all  my  force,  with  i 
whole  weight  behind. 

He  staggered  back  against  the  doorway  he  had  come  01 
by;  and  the  same  moment  two  things  happened.  The  ol< 
woman  screamed  aloud;  and  Dolly  sprang  suddenly  out  01 
to  the  head  of  the  stairs,  from  a  door  that  opened  there,  ful 
into  the  light  of  the  lamp. 

"  Why "  cried  she. 

"Oh!   there  you   are,"   I    said   bitterly.     "Then   Mistres 
Jermyn  is  within  doors." 

Then  I  turned  and  went  straight  upstairs  after  her;  and, 
as  I  went  heard  the  ring  of  running  footsteps  in  the  paved 
passage  out  of  doors,  and  knew  that  the  guard  was  coming 
up.  The  fellow  still  leaned,  dazed,  against  the  doorpost;  and 
the  old  woman  was  pouring  out  scream  after  scream. 

I  went  after  Dolly  straight  into  the  room  from  which  she 
had  come.  It  was  a  little  parlour,  very  richly  furnished,  with 
candles  burning,  and  curtains  across  the  windows.  It  looked 
out  towards  the  river,  I  suppose.  Dolly  was  standing,  as 
pale  as  paper;  but  I  could  not  tell — nor  did  I  greatly  care — 
whether  it  were  anger  or  terror.  I  think  I  must  have  looked 
pretty  frightening — (but  then,  she  had  spirit  enough  for  any- 
thing!)— for  I  was  still  in  my  splashed  boots  and  disordered 
dress,  and  as  angry  as  I  have  ever  been  in  my  life.  I  could 
see  she  was  not  dressed  for  Her  Majesty;  so  I  supposed — 
(and  I  proved  to  be  right) — that  she  was  not  in  attendance 
this  evening.  It  was  better  fortune  than  I  deserved,  to 
find  her  so. 

"Now,"  said  I,  "what  are  you  doing  here?" 

(I  spoke  sharply  and  fiercely,  as  to  a  bad  child.  I  was 
far  too  angry  to  do  otherwise.  As  I  spoke,  I  heard  the  guard 
come  in  below;  and  a  clamour  of  voices  break  out.  I  knew 
that  they  would  be  up  directly.) 

"  Now,"  I  said  again,  "  you  have  your  choice !  Will  you 
give  me  up  to  the  guard;  or  will  you  hear  what  I  have  to 


ODDSFISH!  247 

say?     You  can  send  them  away  if  you  will.     You  can  say 
I  am  your  cousin  ?  " 

She  looked  at  me;  but  said  nothing. 

"  Oh !     I  am  not  drunk,"  I  said.     "  Now,  you  can " 

Then  came  a  thunder  of  footsteps  on  the  stairs;  and  I 
stopped.  I  knew  I  had  broken  every  law  of  the  Court; 
I  had  behaved  unpardonably.  It  would  mean  the  end  of 
everything  for  me.  But  I  would  not,  even  now,  have  asked 
pardon  from  God  Almighty  for  what  I  had  done. 

Then  Dolly,  with  a  gesture,  waved  me  aside;  and  con- 
fronted the  serjeant  on  the  threshold. 

"  You  can  go,"  she  said.  "  This  is  my  cousin.  I  will 
arrange  with  them  below." 

The  man  hesitated.  Over  his  shoulder  I  could  see  a  couple 
more  faces,  glaring  in  at  me. 

Dolly  stamped  her  foot. 

"  I  tell  you  to  go.     Do  you  not  hear  me  ?  " 

"  Mistress "  began  the  man. 

"  How  dare  you  disobey  me !  "  cried  Dolly,  all  aflame  witK 
some  emotion.  "This  is  my  own  parlour,  is  it  not?" 

He  still  looked  doubtfully;  and  his  eyes  wandered  from 
her  to  me,  and  back  again.  He  was  yet  just  without  the 
room.  Then  Dolly  slammed  to  the  door,  in  a  passion,  in 
his  very  face. 

Then  she  wheeled  on  me,  like  lightning.  (I  heard  the 
men's  footsteps  begin  to  go  downstairs.) 

"  Now  you  will  explain,  if  you  please — "  she  began,  witK 
a  furious  kind  of  bitterness. 

"  My  maid,"  said  I,  "  that  kind  of  talk  will  not  do  with 
me  " — (for  at  her  tone  my  anger  blazed  up  higher  even  than 
hers).  "  It  is  I  who  have  to  ask  Why  and  How?" 

"  How  dare  you "  she  began. 

I  went  up  without  more  ado,  and  took  her  by  the  shoulders. 
Never  in  all  the  time  I  had  known  her,  had  the  thought  ever 
come  to  me,  that  one  day  I  might  treat  her  so.  She  struggled 
violently,  and  seemed  on  the  point  of  crying  out.  Then  she 
bit  her  lip;  but  there  was  no  yielding  in  me;  and  I  com- 
pelled her  backwards  to  a  chair. 


ODDSFISH! 

"  You  will  sit  there/'  I  said.  "  And  I  shall  stand.  I  will 
have  no  nonsense  at  all." 

She  looked  at  me,  I  thought,  with  more  hate  than  I  had 
ever  seen  in  human  eyes;  glaring  up  at  me  with  scorn  and 
anger  and  resentment  all  mingled. 

"  Yes — you  can  bully  maids  finely — "  she  said.  "  You 
can  come  and  cringe  for  their  protection  first 

I  laughed,  very  short  and  harsh. 

"  That  manner  is  of  no  good  at  all — "  I  said.  "  You  will 
answer  my  questions.  How  did  you  come  here?  How  long 
have  you  been  here  ?  " 

She  said  nothing;  but  continued  to  look  at  me.  Then 
again  my  anger  rose  like  a  wave. 

"  Do  you  think  to  stare  me  down?  "  I  said.  "  If  you  will 
not  answer  me,  I'll  begone  to  those  who  will." 

"  You  dare  not !  " 

"  Dare  not !  Do  you  think  to  frighten  me  ? — Dolly,  my 
dear,  I  am  not  in  the  mood  to  argue.  Will  you  tell  me  how 
you  came  here,  and  how  long  ago?  I  must  have  an  answer 
before  I  go." 

For  an  instant  she  was  silent. 

"  Will  you  go  straight  home  again  if  I  tell  you  ?  " 

"  Yes — I  will  promise  that,"  said  I — for  now  that  I  had 
seen  her  with  my  own  eyes  most  of  what  I  desired  was  done. 
The  rest  could  wait  twelve  hours. 

"  Well,  then,"  she  said,  "  I  have  been  here  a  month ;  and 
my  father  put  me  here." 

"Your  father!" 

"  Yes,  my  father.     Have  you  anything  to  say  against  him?  " 

"No:  I  will  say  it  to  him." 

I  wheeled  about  to  go  to  the  door. 

"  You  have  done  enough  mischief  then,  you  think !  "  sneered 
Dolly. 

I  turned  about  again. 

"Mischief!" 

"  Why,  you  have  ruined  my  name,"  said  Dolly,  with  the 
savage  look  in  her  eyes  still  there.  "  But  you  did  not  think 
of  that!  You  thought  only  of  yourself.  The  whole  palace 


ODDSFISH!  249 

will  know  to-morrow  that  you  beat  down  the  porter  to  force 
your  way  in.     And  it  will  not  lose  in  the  telling." 

I   had  nothing  to   say  to  that.     It  was   true  enough,  and 
the  very  kind  of  talk  with  which  the  Court  continually  di- 
verted  itself.     But   I    would   not   show   my   dismay.     Indeed 
the  very  thought  of  any  trouble  to  her  had  no  more  occurred 
o  my  mind  than  the  consequences  to  a  charging  bull. 

"  We   will  see   about  that/'   I   said,  "  when  I   speak  with 
lis  Majesty." 

Dolly  laughed  again,  but  without  merriment. 
"  Oh !  you  will  do  this  and  that,  no  doubt,"  she  said.     "  And 
hen  shall  you  see  His  Maj  esty  ?  " 
I  took  out  my  watch. 

"It  is   nearly  nine,"   I   said.     "I   shall  see  His   Majesty 
i   thirteen   hours.     You  had  best   be   packing  your   valises. 
We  shall  ride  at  noon." 

I  waited  no  more  to  hear  her  laugh,  as  she  did  again;  but 
went  out  and  down  the  staircase.     The  porter's  chamber  had 
ts   door  half  open:   I   pushed  the  door  and  went  in.     The 
ellow  started  up. 

"  Here  is  a  guinea,"  said  I,  throwing  one  upon  the  table ; 
and  my  apologies.     But  'twas  you  that  began  it !  " 
Then  I  turned  and  went  out. 

As  I  came  down  the  steps  into  the  little  lamplit  way,  a 
man   was    coming   swiftly   up    it    from   the   direction    of   the 
:ourt,  with  one  of  the  guards  behind  him.     I  stopped  short, 
hinking  I  was  to  be  arrested.     But  it  was  the  page. 
"Good  God!"  he  said.     "You  have  done  finely  indeed!" 
I  was  still  all  shaking;  and  I  simulated  anger  without  any 
difficulty. 

"  And  whose  fault  is  that?  "  said  I,  as  if  in  a  fury.     "  Do 

you  think " 

"And    His    Majesty   may   come   by   at   any   instant!"   he 
said. 

"  Why ;  that  is  what  I  wish.     In  any  case  I  must  see  him 
it  ten   o'clock   to-morrow." 

"  You  are  mad !  "  he  said.     "  You  had  best  begone  to  the 
country  before  dawn:  and  even  that  will  not  save  you."     He 


250  ODDSFISH! 

looked  over  his  shoulder  at  the  young  man  who  had  fetched 
him,  and  who  now  stood  waiting. 

"  Save  me !  What  have  I  done  ?  I  have  but  been  to  visit 
my  cousin."  (I  said  this  very  loud,  that  the  guard  might 
hear.) 

Again  Mr.  Chiffinch  looked  over  his  shoulder,  and  back 
again.  I  could  see  the  shine  of  lanterns  where  others  waited 
behind.  We  were  just  outside  the  King's  lodging. 

"  Well,  sir,"  he  said.  "  But  you  will  go  now,  will  you 
not?" 

"  Why,  yes,"  I  said.  "  And  I  will  be  with  you  at  half- 
past  nine  to-morrow." 

He  beckoned  the  young  soldier  up. 

"  See  this  gentleman  to  the  gate,"  he  said.  "  He  will 
find  his  way  home,  after  that." 


CHAPTER     III 

[  SPENT  a  very  heavy  evening  before  I  went  to  bed;  and 
when  I  was  there  I  could  not  sleep;  for  it  appeared  to  me 
that  I  had  made  a  great  fool  of  myself,  having  injured  my 
own  prospects  and  done  no  good  to  anyone.  I  understood 
perfectly  that  I  had  acted  in  an  unpardonable  manner;  for 
Her  Majesty's  Maids  of  Honour  were  kept,  or  were  supposed 
to  be  kept,  in  very  great  seclusion  at  home,  as  if  they  were 
Vestal  virgins — which  was  indeed  a  very  great  supposition. 
Tale  after  tale  came  back  to  my  mind  of  those  Maids  in  the 
past — of  Mademoiselle  de  la  Garde  herself,  of  Miss  Stewart, 
Miss  Hyde,  Miss  Hamilton,  and  others  like  them — some  of 
whom  were  indeed  good,  but  had  the  greatest  difficulty  in  re- 
maining so;  for  the  Court  of  Charles  was  a  terrible  place  for 
virtue.  It  was  astonishing  to  me  that  the  horror  of  the  place 
had  not  before  this  affected  me;  but  it  is  always  so.  We  are 
very  philosophical,  always,  over  the  wrongs  that  do  not  touch 
ourselves. 

As  to  how  my  Cousin  Dolly  came  to  be  in  such  a  place, 
I  began  to  think  that  I  understood.  It  must  all  have  dated 
from  that  unhappy  visit  of  the  Duke  of  Monmouth  to  Hare 
Street;  my  Cousin  Tom  must  have  followed  up  that  strange 
introduction,  and  the  affair  must  have  been  worked  through 
Her  Grace  of  Portsmouth.  I  think  I  could  have  taken  my 
Cousin  Tom  by  the  throat,  and  choked  him,  as  I  thought 
of  this. 

Meantime  I  had  no  idea  as  to  what  I  should  do  the  next 

day — except,    indeed,    see    His    Majesty,    and    say,    perhaps, 

one  tenth  of  what  I  felt.     I  had  told  Dolly  we  should  ride 

|  at  noon  next  day;  I  was  beginning  to  wonder  whether  this 

|  prediction  would  be   fulfilled.     Yet,  though  I  had  begun  to 

:  consider  myself  more  than  in  the  first  flush,  I  still  felt  my 

anger  rise  in  me  like  a  tide  whenever  I  regarded  the  bare 

251 


ODDSFISH! 

facts.  But  mere  anger  would  never  do;  and  I  set  myself 
to  drive  it  down.  Besides,  it  would  be  there,  I  knew,  and 
ready,  if  I  should  need  it  on  the  next  day. 

When  I  arrived  at  Mr.  Chiffinch's  the  next  morning,  I 
found  him  in  a  very  grave  mood.  He  did  not  rise  as  I  came 
in,  but  nodded  to  me,  only. 

"  Sit  down,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  he.  "  This  is  a  very  seri- 
ous affair." 

"  So  I  think,"  I  said. 

He  waved  that  away. 

"His  Majesty  hath  heard  every  word  of  it,  with  em- 
bellishments. He  is  very  angry  indeed.  Nothing  but  what 
you  have  done  for  him  lately  could  have  saved  you;  and 
even  now  I  do  not  know " 

"  Man,"  I  said,  "  do  not  let  us  have  such  talk  as  this.  It 
is  not  I  who  am  in  question " 

"  I  think  you  will  find  that  it  is,"  he  answered  me,  with  a 
quick  look. 

I  strove  to  be  patient,  and,  even  more,  to  appear  so. 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  what  have  I  done  ?  I  am  come  back 
from  France:  I  hear  my  cousin  is  here;  I  go  to  see  her;  a 
fellow  at  the  door  is  impertinent,  and  I  chastise  him  for 
it.  Then  I  go  upstairs  to  my  cousin's  parlour — 

"  That  is  the  point,"  he  interrupted.  "  It  is  not  your 
cousin's.  It  is  the  lodging  of  the  Maids  of  Honour." 

Yes:  he  had  me  there.  That  was  my  weak  point.  But  I 
would  not  let  him  see  that. 

"  How  was  I  to  understand  that  distinction  ?  I  knocked 
at  the  door  as  peaceably  as  any  man  could." 

"  And  after  that,"  he  said,  smiling  a  little  grimly,  "  after 
that,  your  cousinly  affection  blinded  you." 

"  Well,  that  will  do,"  I  said. 

He  smiled  again. 

"  Well ;  that  is  your  case,"  he  observed.  "  We  will  see 
how  His  Majesty  regards  it.  For  I  must  tell  you,  Mr. 
Mallock,  that  for  five  minutes  last  night  it  was  touch  and 
go  whether  you  were  not  to  be  arrested.  And  I  will  tell 


ODDSFISH!  253 

you  this  too,  that  if  you  had  not  come  this  morning,  you 
would  have  been  brought." 

"As  bad  as  that?  "  I  said,  laughing.  (But  I  must  confess 
that  his  gravity  dismayed  me  a  little.) 

"  As  bad  as  that,"  he  said.  "  You  must  go  to  His  Majesty 
at  ten." 

"  As  I  arranged,"  I  said. 

"As  His  Majesty  arranged,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch,  rising: 
"  and  it  is  close  upon  the  time." 

And  then  he  added,  with  the  utmost  gravity. 

"If  there  is  one  thing  His  Sacred  Majesty  is  touchy  upon, 
it  is  the  reputation  of  the  ladies  of  the  Court.  I  would 
remember  that,  sir,  if  I  were  you." 

I  observed  a  while  ago  that  Pride  is  a  good  weapon  if 
one  has  not  Humility.  So  is  Anger  a  good  weapon,  if  one 
has  not  Patience;  and  I  do  not  mean  simulated  Anger,  but 
the  passion  itself,  held  in  a  leash,  like  a  dog,  and  loosed 
when  the  time  comes.  Now,  so  great  was  my  feeling  for 
His  Majesty,  and  that  not  only  of  an  honest  loyalty,  but  of 
a  real  kind  of  respect  that  I  had  for  his  person  and  his  parts 
— a  real  fear  of  the  very  great  strength  of  will  that  lay 
beneath  his  weakness — that  I  understood  that,  unless  my 
anger  was  fairly  near  the  surface,  I  should  be  beaten  down 
when  I  came  into  his  presence.  So,  as  we  went  together 
towards  his  lodgings,  I  looked  to  see  that  my  anger  was 
there,  patted  it  on  the  head  so  to  say,  and  called  it  Good 
Dog:  and  was  relieved  to  hear  it  growl  softly  in  answer. 

Plainly  we  were  expected;  because  the  two  guards  at 
the  door  stood  aside  as  soon  as  they  saw  us,  and  one  of 
them  called  out  something  to  a  man  above.  There  were 
two  more  at  the  door  itself;  and  we  went  in. 

As  we  came  in  at  the  door  of  the  private  closet,  having 
had  no  answer  to  our  knock,  His  Majesty  came  in  at  the 
other  with  two  dogs  at  his  heels.  He  paid  no  attention  to 
me  at  all,  and  barely  nodded  at  my  companion.  Then  he 
sat  down  to  his  table,  and  began  to  write;  leaving  us  stand- 
ing there  like  a  pair  of  schoolboys. 


ODDSFISH! 


Again  I  stroked  the  head  of  my  anger.  I  could  see  the 
King  was  very  seriously  displeased;  and  that  unless  I  could 
keep  myself  determined,  he  would  have  the  best  of  the  inter- 
view; and  that  I  was  resolved  he  should  not  have. 

Suddenly  he  spoke,  still  writing. 

"  You  can  go,  Chiffinch,"  said  he.  "  Come  back  in  half 
an  hour/' 

He  looked  up  for  a  flash  and  nodded;  and  I  thought,  God 
knows  why,  that  he  had  in  mind  the  guards  outside,  and 
that  they  should  be  within  call.  I  knew  precisely  what  my 
legal  offence  would  be — that  of  brawling  within  the  precincts 
of  the  palace;  and  the  penalties  of  this  I  did  not  care  to 
think  about;  for  I  was  not  sure  enough  what  they  were. 

When  the  door  closed  behind  Mr.  Chiffinch  I  felt  more 
alone  than  ever.  I  regarded  the  King's  dark  face,  turned 
down  upon  his  paper;  his  dusky  ringed  hand  with  the  lace 
turned  back;  the  blue-gemmed  quill  that  he  used,  his  great 
plumed  hat.  I  looked  now  and  again,  discreetly,  round  the 
room,  at  the  gorgeous  carvings,  the  tall  presses,  the  innumer- 
able clocks,  the  brightly  polished  windows  with  the  river 
flowing  beneath.  I  felt  very  little  and  lonely.  Then,  in 
a  flash,  the  memory  came  back  that  not  fifty  yards  away 
was  Dolly's  little  parlour,  and  Dolly  herself;  and  my  de- 
termination surged  up  once  more. 

Suddenly  His  Majesty  threw  down  his  pen. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said  very  sternly,  "  there  is  only  one 
excuse  for  you — that  you  were  drunk  last  night.  Do  you 
plead  that?" 

He  was  looking  straight  at  me  with  savage  melancholy 
eyes.  I  dropped  my  own. 

"  No,  Sir." 

"You  dare  to  say  you  were  not  drunk?" 

"Yes,  Sir." 

His  Majesty  caught  up  an  ivory  knife  and  sat  drawing 
it  through  his  fingers,  still  looking  at  me,  I  perceived;  though 
I  kept  my  eyes  down.  I  could  see  that  he  was  violently  im- 
patient. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  he,  "  this  is  intolerable.     You  come 


ODDSFISH!  255 

back  from  France  where  you  have  done  me  good  service — 
I  will  never  deny  that — and  you  win  my  gratitude;  and  then 
you  fling  it  all  away  by  a  piece  of  unpardonable  behaviour. 
Are  you  aware  of  the  penalties  for  such  behaviour  as  yours? 
— brawling  in  the  Palace  itself,  knocking  my  men  down, 
forcing  your  way  into  the  lodgings  of  Her  Majesty's  Ladies? 
Have  you  anything  to  say  as  to  why  you  should  not  go 
before  the  Green  Cloth?" 

A  great  surge  of  contradiction  and  defiance  rose  within 
me;  but  I  choked  it  down  again.  It  was  there  if  I  should 
need  it.  The  effort  held  me  steady  and  balanced. 

"  Do  you  hear  me,  sir  ?  " 

"Yes,  Sir,"  said  I. 

"  Well— what  have  you  to  say?  " 

He  glanced  past  me  towards  the  door;  and  I  thought  again 
that  the  guards  were  in  his  mind. 

"  Sir ;  I  have  a  very  great  deal  to  say.  But  I  fear  I  should 
offend  Your  Majesty." 

The  King  jerked  his  head  impatiently. 

"  It  is  of  the  nature  of  a  defence?  " 

"  Certainly,  Sir." 

"  Say  it  then.     You  need  one." 

I  raised  my  eyes  and  looked  him  in  the  face.  He  was 
frowning;  and  his  lips  were  moving.  Evidently  he  was  very 
angry;  and  yet  he  was  perplexed,  too. 

"  Sir,  this  is  precisely  what  took  place.  I  returned  from 
France  last  night,  where,  as  Your  Majesty  was  good  enough 
to  remark,  I  was  able  to  be  of  some  little  service.  Upon 
my  return  I  heard  from  Mr.  Chiffinch  that  my  '  pretty  cousin  ' 
as  he  was  kind  enough  to  call  her,  was  in  Whitehall,  as  one 
of  Her  Majesty's  ladies.  I  went  to  see  my  cousin,  perhaps  a 
little  precipitately,  but  I  went  peaceably,  first  inquiring  of  one 
of  Your  Majesty's  guards  where  her  lodgings  were.  I 
knocked,  peaceably,  upon  the  door.  An  old  woman  opened 
to  me,  and  would  give  me  no  intelligible  answer  to  my — 
peaceable — inquiry  as  to  whether  my  cousin  were  there.  I 
prevented  her  closing  the  door  in  my  face,  but  peaceably; 
then  a  fellow  ran  out,  and  asked  me  who  the  devil  I  was. 


256  ODDSFISH! 

Again,  peaceably,  I  inquired  for  my  cousin.  I  even  sat 
down  upon  the  stairs.  Then  he  made  at  me;  and  in  self- 
defence  I  struck  him  once,  with  my  hand.  My  cousin  looked 
out  of  a  door,  and  I  went  up  into  what  I  understood  was  her 
parlour.  When  the  guard  came,  she  sent  them  away,  telling 
them  I  was  her  cousin.  The  Serjeant  was  impertinent  to 
her;  and  she  shut  the  door  in  his  face.  I  remained  five 
minutes,  or  six,  with  my  cousin,  and  then  went  peaceably 
away,  and  to  my  lodgings.  That  is  the  entire  truth,  Sir, 
from  beginning  to  end." 

The  King  laughed,  very  short  and  harsh. 

"  You  put  it  admirably,"  he  said.  "  You  are  a  diplomat, 
indeed." 

"  That  is  my  defence  to  Your  Majesty;  and  it  is  perfectly 
true — neither  less  nor  more  than  the  truth.  But  I  am  not 
only  a  diplomat." 

He  did  not  fully  understand  me,  I  think,  for  he  looked  at 
me  sharply. 

"Well?"  he  said.     "What  else?" 

"  I  have  another  defence  for  the  public — Sir — not  so 
courteous  to  Your  Majesty." 

He  remained  rigid  an  instant. 

"  Then  for  the  public,"  he  said,  "  you  do  not  think  the 
truth  enough  ?  " 

"  No,  Sir;  it  is  for  Your  Majesty  that  I  think  the  truth 
too  much." 

"  I  will  have  it !  "  cried  the  King.     "  This  moment !  " 

Interiorly  I  licked  my  lips,  as  a  dog  when  he  sees  a  bone. 
His  Majesty  should  have  the  truth  now,  with  a  vengeance. 
All  was  falling  out  exactly  as  I  had  designed.  He  should 
not  have  kept  me  waiting  so  long;  or  I  might  not  have 
thought  of  it. 

"  Well,  Sir,"  said  I,  "  you  will  remember  I  should  not 
have  dared  to  say  it  to  Your  Majesty,  had  I  not  been  com- 
manded." 

He  said  nothing.  Then,  once  more,  I  ruffled  my  growling 
dog's  ears,  so  that  he  snarled. 

"  First,  Sir;  to  the  public  I  should  say:     If  this  is  counted 


ODDSFISH!  257 

brawling,  what  of  other  scenes  in  Whitehall  on  which  no 
charge  was  made?  What  of  the  sun-dial,  smashed  all  to 
fragments  one  night,  in  the  Privy  Garden,  by  certain  of 
the  King's  Gentlemen  whom  I  could  name?  What  of  the 
broken  door-knockers — not  only  in  the  City,  but  upon  cer- 
tain doors  in  Whitehall  itself — broken,  again  by  certain  of 
the  King's  Gentlemen  whom  I  could  name?  What  of  a 
scene  I  viewed  myself  in  the  Banqueting  Hall  last  Christ- 
mastide  in  Your  Majesty's  presence,  when  a  Spanish  gentle- 
man received  full  in  his  face  a  bunch  of  raisins,  from " 

"  Ah !  "  snarled  the  King.  "  And  you  would  say  that  to 
the  public  ?  " 

"  Sir — that  is  only  the  exordium  " — (my  voice  was  raised 
a  little,  I  think,  for  indeed  I  was  raging  again  by  now). 
"  Next,  I  would  observe  that  Mistress  Jermyn  is  my  own 
[cousin,  and  that  the  hour  was  eight  o'clock  in  the  evening — 
| not  nine,  if  I  may  so  far  correct  Your  Majesty;  whereas 
very  different  hours  are  kept  by  some  members  of  the  Court, 
and  the  ladies  are  not  their  cousins  at  all." 

I  had  never  seen  the  King  so  angry.  He  was  unable  to 
speak  for  fury.  His  face  paled  to  parchment-colour  under 
his  sallow  skin,  and  his  eyes  burned  like  coals.  This  time 
[I  lashed  my  anger,  deliberately,  instead  of  tickling  it  merely. 

"Sir;  that  is  not  nearly  all;  but  I  will  miss   out  a  few 

(points,   and   come  to   my  peroration.     My   peroration   would 

[be    after    this    fashion.     Such,    I    would   say,   is    the   charge 

against  one  who  has  been  of  service  to   His   Majesty;   and 

Isuch  is  the  Court  (as  I  have  described)   of  that  same  King. 

There  is  not  a  Court  in  Europe  that  has  a  Prince  so  noble 

las  our  own  can  be,  of  better  parts,  or  of  higher  ambitions, 

[  or  of  so  pure  a  blood.     And  there  is  no  Prince  who  is  served 

!so  poorly;  no  Court  that  so  stinks  in  the  nostrils  of  God  and 

iman,  as  does  his.     He  is  capable,"   I  cried   (for  by  now  I 

rwas  lost  to  all  consideration  for  myself;  my  loyalty  and  love 

I  for  him  had  come  to  the  aid  of  my  anger;  and  I  saw  that 

j  never  again  should  I  have  such  an  opportunity  of  speaking 

my  mind),  "  He  is  capable  of  as  great  achievements,  as  any 

Prince  that  has  gone  before  him;   for  he  has   already  won 


258  ODDSFISH! 

back  the  throne  which  his  fathers  lost.  Would  it  be  of  serv- 
ice, I  would  say,  to  such  a  Prince  as  this,  to  punish  a  man 
who  would  lay  down  his  life  for  him  to  give  him  even  a 
moment's  pleasure;  and  to  let  go  scot-free  men  and  women 
who  have  never  done  anything  but  injure  him?  " 

I  ceased;  breathless,  yet  triumphing;  for  I  knew  that 
I  had  held  His  Majesty  with  my  words.  How  he  would 
take  it,  when  he  recovered,  I  did  not  know :  nor  did  I  greatly 
care.  I  had  spoken  my  mind  to  him  at  last;  and  what  I  had 
said  was  no  more  than  my  conviction.  That  blessed  gift 
of  anger  had  done  the  rest:  and,  having  done  its  work,  re- 
tired again  to  chaos;  and  left  me  clear-headed  and  master 
of  myself. 

When  I  looked  at  him  he  was  motionless.  He  was  still 
very  pale,  but  the  terrible  brightness  of  his  eyes  was  gone. 

Then  he  roused  himself  to  sneer;  but  I  did  not  care  for 
that;  for  there  was  no  other  way  for  him  just  then,  con- 
sonant with  his  own  dignity. 

"  Very  admirably  preached !  "  said  he ;  "  even  if  a  trifle 
treasonous." 

"  I  am  pleased  Your  Majesty  is  satisfied/'  I  said,  with  a 
little  bow. 

Then  he  broke  down  altogether,  in  the  only  way  that  he 
could;  he  gave  a  great  spirt  of  laughter;  then  he  leaned  back 
and  laughed  till  the  tears  ran  down.  Presently  he  was 
quieter. 

"Oddsfish!"  he  cried,  "this  is  a  turning  of  tables  in- 
deed! I  sent  for  you,  Mr.  Mallock " 

The  door  opened  softly  behind  me;  and  a  man  put  his 
head  in. 

"  Go  away !  go  away !  "  cried  the  King.  "  Cannot  you 
see  I  am  being  preached  to  ?  " 

The  door  closed  again. 

"  I  sent  for  you,  Mr.  Mallock,  to  reprimand  you  very 
severely.  And  instead  of  that  it  is  you  who  have  held  the 
whip.  Little  Ken  is  nothing  to  it:  you  should  have  been 
a  Bishop,  Mr.  Mallock." 


ODDSFISH!  259 

Again  he  spirted  with  laughter.  Then  he  drew  himself 
up  in  his  chair  a  little;  and  became  more  grave. 

"  This  is  all  very  well/'  he  said.  "  But  I  think  I  must 
get  in  my  reprimand,  for  all  that.  You  will  not  be  sent  to 
the  guard-room,  or  the  Green  Cloth — (or  whatever  it  is  that 
would  meet  your  case) — this  time,  Mr.  Mallock;  I  will  deal 
with  you  myself.  But  it  is  a  very  serious  business,  and 
your  distinctions  would  not  serve  you  in  law.  A  sundial  is 
not  so  important  as  a  Christian  lady;  and  a  bunch  of  raisins 
is  not,  legally,  a  blow  in  the  face.  Still  less  are  all  the 
sundials  and  Spaniards  in  the  world,  equal  to  one  of  Her 
Majesty's  Maids  of  Honour.  You  understand  that?" 

I  bowed  again;  reminding  myself  that  I  was  not  done 
with  him,  even  yet. 

"Yes,  Sir." 

"  Consider   yourself   reprimanded   severely,   Mr.   Mallock." 

I  bowed;  but  I  stood  still. 

"  You  have  my  leave — Oh !  by  the  way,  Mr.  Mallock ;  there 
are  just  ten  words  I  must  have  with  you  on  the  French  af- 
fairs." 

He  motioned  to  a  seat. 

"  I  may  kiss  the  hand  that  has  beaten  me  ?  "  said  I. 

He  laughed  again.  He  was  a  very  merry  prince  when  he 
was  in  the  mood. 

"  It  should  be  the  other  way  about,  I  should  think,"  he 
said.  But  he  gave  me  his  hand;  and  I  sat  down. 

All  the  while  we  were  talking,  still,  with  one-half  of  my 
mind  I  was  considering  what  was  to  be  done  next.  It  was 
a  part,  only,  of  my  business  that  had  been  done;  yet  how 
to  accomplish  the  rest  without  spoiling  all?  Presently  His 
Majesty  himself  repeated  that  which  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  al- 
ready said  to  me;  and  spoke  of  some  kind  of  recognition  that 
was  due  to  me.  That  gave  me  my  cue. 

"Your  Majesty  is  exceedingly  kind,"  I  said.  "But  I 
trust  I  am  not  to  be  dismissed  from  the  King's  service? 
Mr.  Chiffinch  appeared  to  think " 


260  ODDSFISHt 

"  Why,  no,"  said  he;  "not  even  after  all  your  crimes.  Be- 
sides we  have  something  for  you.  Did  he  not  tell  you?  " 

"  Any  public  recognition,  Sir/'  I  said,  "  would  effectually 
do  so.  The  very  small  value  that  my  services  may  have 
would  wholly  be  lost,  if  they  were  known  in  any  way." 

"  Chiffinch  said  the  same,"  observed  the  King  meditatively. 
•«  But " 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  might  I  not  have  some  private  recognition 
instead?  There  is  a  very  particular  favour  I  have  in  mind, 
which  would  be  private  altogether;  and  which  I  would  take 
as  a  complete  discharge  of  that  which  Your  Majesty  has  been 
good  enough  to  call  a  debt  of  the  King's." 

"  Not  money,  man !  Surely ! "  exclaimed  the  King  in 
alarm. 

"  Not  in  the  least,  Sir;  it  will  not  cost  the  exchequer  a 
farthing." 

"  Well,  you  shall  have  it  then.     You  may  be  sure  of  that." 

"  Well,  Sir,"  said  I,  "  it  is  a  serious  matter.  Your  Majesty 
will  dislike  it  exceedingly." 

He  pursed  his  lips  and  looked  at  me  sharply. 

"  Wait !  "  he  said.  "  It  will  not  affect  my  honour  or — or 
my  religion  in  any  way  ?  " 

I  assumed  an  air  of  slight  offence. 

"  Sir;  I  should  not  be  likely  to  ask  it,  if  it  affected  Your 

Majesty's  honour.  And  as  for  religion "  I  stopped: 

for  one  more  opening  presented  itself  which  I  dared  not 
neglect.  From  both  his  manner  and  his  words  I  saw  that 
religion  was  not  very  far  from  his  thoughts. 

"  Well — sir,"  he  said.     "  And  what  of  religion?  " 

"  Sir,  I  pray  every  day  for  Your  Maj  esty's  conversion — 

"Conversion,  eh?" 

"  Conversion  to  the  Holy  Catholic  Church,  Sir.  I  would 
give  my  life  for  that,  ten  times  over." 

"There!  there!  have  done,"  said  His  Majesty,  with  a 
touch  of  uneasiness. 

"But  I  would  not  ask  a  pledge,  blindfold,  Sir;  even  to 
save  all  those  ten  lives  of  mine." 

"One  more  than  a  cat;  eh?     Do  you  know,  Mr,  Mallockj, 


ODDSFISH!  261 

you  remind  me  sometimes  of  a  cat.  You  are  so  demure,  and 
yet  you  can  pounce  and  scratch  when  the  occasion  comes." 

"  I  would  sooner  it  had  been  a  little  dog,  Sir,"  I  said, 
glancing  at  the  spaniels  that  were  curled  up  together  before 
the  fire. 

"  Well — well;  we  are  wandering,"  smiled  the  King.  "  Now 
what  is  this  favour  ?  " 

I  supposed  I  must  have  looked  very  grave  and  serious; 
for  before  I  could  speak  he  leaned  forward. 

"  It  is  to  count  as  a  complete  discharge,  I  understood  you 
to  say,  Mr.  Mallock,  for  all  obligations  on  my  part.  And  there 
is  no  money  in  it  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Sir,"  said  I.     "  And  there  is  no  money  in  it." 

He  must  have  seen  I  was  serious. 

"  Well ;  I  take  you  at  your  word,  sir.  I  will  grant  it. 
Tell  me  what  it  is." 

He  leaned  back,  looking  at  me  curiously. 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  it  is  now  about  half-past  ten  o'clock. 
What  I  ask  is  that  my  cousin,  Mistress  Dorothy  Jermyn, 
receives  an  immediate  dismissal  from  Her  Majesty's  service; 
and  is  ordered  to  leave  London  with  me,  for  her  father's 
house,  at  noon." 

His  Majesty  looked  at  me  amazed.  I  think  he  did  not 
know  whether  to  be  angry,  or  to  laugh. 

"Well,  sir,"  he  said  at  last.  "That  is  the  maddest  re- 
quest I  have  ever  had.  You  mean  what  you  say  ?  " 

"  Certainly,  Sir." 

"  Well :  you  must  have  it  then.  It  is  the  queerest  kind- 
ness I  have  ever  done.  Why  do  you  ask  it  ?  Eh  ?  " 

"  Sir ;  you  do  not  want  my  peroration  over  again !  " 

His  face  darkened. 

"  That  is  very  like  impudence,  Mr.  Mallock." 

"  I  do  not  mean  it  for  such,  Sir.     It  is  the  naked  truth." 

"  You  think  this  is  not  a  fitting  place  for  her  ?  " 

"  I  am  sure  it  is  not,  Sir/'  I  said  very  earnestly,  "  nor  for 
any  country-maid.  Would  Your  Majesty  think " 

He  jerked  his  head  impatiently. 

"What  my  Majesty  thinks  is  one  thing;  what  I,  Charles 


ODDSFISH! 

Stuart,  do,  is  another.  Well:  you  must  have  it.  There  is 
no  more  to  be  said." 

I  think  he  expected  me  to  stand  up  and  take  my  leave. 
But  I  remained  still  in  my  chair. 

"Well;  what  else,  sir?"  he  asked. 

"  Sir ;  it  is  near  a  quarter  to  eleven.  I  have  not  the 
order,  yet." 

"Bah!  well— am  I  to  write  it  then?" 

"  If  Your  Majesty  will  condescend." 

"  And  what  shall  I  say  to  the  Queen  ?  It  is  not  very 
courteous  to  dismiss  a  lady  of  hers  so  abruptly." 

"  Sir;  tell  Her  Majesty  it  is  a  debt  of  honour." 

He  wheeled  back  to  his  table,  took  up  a  sheet  and  began 
to  write.  When  he  had  done  he  scattered  the  sand  on  it,  and 
held  it  out  to  me,  his  mouth  twitching  a  little. 

"Will  that  serve?"  he  said. 

I  have  that  paper  still.  It  is  written  with  five  lines  only, 
and  a  signature.  It  runs  as  follows: 

"  This  is  to  command  Mistress  Dorothy  Jermyn,  late  Maid 
of  Honour  to  Her  Majesty,  now  dismissed  by  the  King, 
though  through  no  fault  of  her  own,  to  leave  the  Court  at 
Whitehall  at  noon  to-day,  in  company  with  her  cousin  Mr. 
Roger  Mallock,  and  never  to  return  thither  without  his  con- 
sent. 

"CHARLES  R." 

Then   followed  the  date. 

I  had  a  criticism  or  two ;  but  I  dared  not  make  them. 

"  That  is  more  than  I  could  have  asked,  Sir.  I  am  under 
an  eternal  obligation  to  Your  Majesty." 

"  I  daresay :  but  all  mine  are  discharged  to  you,  until  you 
earn  some  more.  It  might  have  meant  a  peerage,  Mr.  Mal- 
lock." 

"  I  do  not  regret  it,  Sir,"  I  said. 


As  I  rose  after  kissing  his  hand,  he  said  one  more  word 
me. 


. 


ODDSFISH!  263 

"  You  are  either  a  very  wise  man,  or  a  fool,  Mr.  Mallock. 
And  by  God  I  do  not  know  which.  But  I  do  know  you  are 
a  very  brave  one." 

"  I  was  a  very  angry  one,  Sir,"  said  I. 

"But  you  are  appeased?" 

"  A  thousand  times,  Sir." 


•- 


CHAPTER    IV 

I  KNEW  I  could  never  carry  the  matter  through  alone ;  so,  upo 
leaving  the  King's  presence,  I  sought  out  Mr.  Chiffinch  im 
mediately  and  told  him  what  had  passed. 

He  whistled,  loud. 

"  You  are  pretty  fortunate,"  he  said.     "  Many  a  man- 

"  I  have  no  time  for  compliments,"  said  I.  "  You  must  come 
with  me  to  my  cousin  at  once.  We  must  ride  at  noon;  and  it 
is  close  upon  eleven." 

"  You  want  me  to  plead  for  you,  eh  ?  " 

"  Not  at  all,"  said  I.  "  There  will  be  no  pleading.  It  is  tc 
certify  only  that  this  is  the  King's  writing,  and  that  he  means 
what  he  says." 

"  Well,  well,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch.     "  And  what  of  the  mat- 
ter I  spoke  to  you  of  last  night?     Have  you  decided?     Ther 
is  not  much  time  to  lose." 

"  You  must  give  me  a  day  or  two,"  I  said. 

It  was  he  who  knocked  this  time;  and  it  was  not  until  the 
old  woman  had  opened,  and  was  curtseying  to  the  King's  page, 
that  he  called  me  up. 

"  Come,  Mr.  Mallock.     Your  cousin  is  within." 

We  went  straight  upstairs  after  the  old  lady;  and  upon  her 
knock  being  answered,  she  threw  the  door  open. 

My  Cousin  Dolly  was  sitting  over  her  needle,  all  alone 
She  looked,  I  thought,  unusually  pale;  but  she  flushed  scarlet, 
and  sprang  up,  so  soon  as  she  saw  me. 

"  Good-day,   Mistress   Jermyn,"   said  the   page  very  cour- 
teously.    "  We  are  come  on  a  very  sad  errand — sad,  that 
to  those  whom  you  will  leave  behind." 

"  What  do  you  mean,  sir?  "  asked  Dolly,  very  fiercely.  She 
did  not  give  me  one  look,  after  the  first. 

He  held  out  the  paper  to  her.  She  took  it,  with  fingers 
that  shook  a  little,  and  read  it  through  at  least  twice. 

264, 


ODDSFISH!  265 

"  Is  this  an  insult,  sir;  or  a  very  poor  pleasantry?  "  (Her 
face  was  gone  pale  again.) 

"  It  is  neither,  mistress.     It  is  a  very  sober  fact." 

"  This  is  the  King's  hand  ?  "  she  snapped. 

"  It  is/'  said  Mr.  Chiffinch. 

"  Dolly,"  said  I,  "  I  told  you  to  be  ready  by  noon;  but  you 
would  not  believe  me.  I  suppose  your  packing  is  not  done  ?  " 

She  paid  me  no  more  attention  than  if  I  had  been  a  chair. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  said  she,  "  you  tell  me,  upon  your  honour, 
that  this  is  the  King's  hand,  and  that  he  means  what  is  writ- 
ten here  ?  " 

"  I  give  you  my  honour,  mistress,"  he  said. 

She  tossed  the  paper  upon  the  table ;  she  went  swiftly  across 
to  the  further  door,  and  opened  it. 

"  Anne !  "  she  said. 

A  voice  answered  her  from  within. 

"  Put  out  my  riding-dress.  Pack  all  that  you  can,  that  I 
shall  need  in  the  country.  We  have  to  ride  at  noon."  She 
shut  the  door  again,  and  turned  on  us — or  rather,  upon  Mr. 
Chiffinch. 

"  Sir,"  she  said,  "  you  have  done  your  errand.  Perhaps 
you  will  now  relieve  me  of  your  company.  I  shall  be  await- 
ing my  cousin,  Mr.  Roger  Mallock,  as  the  King  requires,  at 
noon." 

"  Dolly "  said  I. 

She  continued,  looking  through  me,  as  through  glass. 

"  At  noon:  and  I  trust  he  will  not  keep  me  waiting." 

There  was  no  more  to  be  done.     We  turned  and  went  out. 

"  Lord !  what  a  termagant  is  your  pretty  cousin,  Mr.  Mal- 
lock !  "  said  my  companion  when  we  were  out  of  doors  again. 
"  You  could  have  trusted  her  well  enough,  I  think." 

I  was  not  in  the  mood  to  discuss  her  with  him;  I  had  other 
things  to  think  of. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  I  said,  "  I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you; 
but  I  must  be  off  for  my  own  packing."  And  I  bade  him 
good-day. 

When  I  rode  into  the  court,  five  minutes  before  noon,  a  very 


266  ODDSFISH! 

piteous  little  group  awaited  me  by  the  inner  gate.  Dolly, 
very  white  and  angry,  stood  by  the  mounting-block,  striving 
to  preserve  her  dignity.  Her  maid  was  behind  her,  arguing 
how  the  bags  should  be  disposed  on  the  pack-horse,  with  the 
fellow  who  was  to  lead  it.  Dolly's  own  horse  was  not  yet 
come;  but  as  I  rode  up  to  salute  her,  he  came  out  of  an  arch- 
way led  by  a  groom. 

I  leapt  off,  and  stood  by  the  mounting-block  to  help  her. 
Again  it  was  as  if  I  were  not  there.  She  jerked  her  head  to 
the  man. 

"  Help  me,"  she  said. 

He  was  in  a  quandary,  for  he  could  not  leave  the  horse's 
head. 

"  I  am  very  sorry,  Dolly,"  said  I,  "  but  you  will  have  to 
put  up  for  me  for  once.  Come." 

She  gave  a  look  of  despair  round  about;  but  there  was  no 
help. 

"  It  is  on  the  stroke  of  noon,"  I  said. 

She  submitted;  but  it  was  with  the  worst  grace  I  have  ever 
seen.  She  accepted  my  ministrations;  but  it  was  as  if  I  were 
a  machine:  not  one  word  did  she  speak,  good  or  bad. 

By  the  time  that  she  was  mounted,  her  maid  was  up  too, 
and  the  bags  disposed. 

"  Come,"  I  said  again ;  and  mounted  my  own  horse. 

As  we  rode  out  through  the  great  gate,  the  Clock  Tower 
beat  the  hour  of  noon. 

I  am  weary  of  saying  that  my  journeys  were  strange;  but, 
certainly,  this  was  another  of  them. 

Through  the  narrow  streets  I  made  no  attempt  to  ride  be- 
side her.  In  the  van  went  three  of  my  men;  then  rode  I; 
then,  about  ten  yards  behind,  came  Dolly  and  her  maid.  Then 
came  two  pack-horses,  led  by  a  fellow  who  controlled  them 
both;  and  my  fourth  man  closed  the  dismal  cavalcade.  So  we 
went  through  the  streets — all  the  way  down  the  Strand  and 
into  the  City,  wheeled  to  the  left,  and  so  out  by  Bishopsgate. 
It  was  a  clear  kind  of  day,  without  rain:  but  the  clouds  hung 


ODDSFISH!  267 

low,  and  I  thought  it  would  rain  before  nightfall.  I  intended 
to  do  the  whole  journey  in  a  day;  so  as  to  be  at  Hare  Street 
before  midnight  at  least.  A  night  on  the  way,  and  Dolly's 
company  at  supper,  all  alone  with  me,  or  even  with  her  maid, 
appeared  to  me  too  formidable  to  face. 

When  we  were  out  in  the  country,  I  reined  my  horse  in.  I 
saw  a  change  pass  over  Dolly's  face ;  then  it  became  like  stone. 

"  We  have  a  long  ride,  for  one  day,"  said  I. 

She  made  no  answer.     My  anger  rose  a  little. 

"  My  Cousin,"  I  said,  "  I  had  the  honour  to  speak  to  you." 

"  I  do  not  wish  to  have  the  dishonour  of  answering  you," 
said  Dolly. 

It  was  a  weakness  on  her  part  to  answer  at  all;  but  I  sup- 
pose she  could  not  resist  the  repartee. 

"  A  very  neat  hit,"  I  said.  "  Must  all  our  conversation 
run  upon  these  lines  ?  " 

She  made  no  answer  at  all. 

"  Anne,"  I  said,  "  rein  your  horse  back  ten  yards.*' 

"  Anne,"  said  Dolly,  "  ride  precisely  where  you  are." 

"Very  good,"  said  I.  "I  have  no  objection  to  your  maid 
hearing  what  I  have  to  say.  I  thought  it  would  be  you  that 
would  object." 

"Anne,"  said  Dolly,  "  did  you  pack  the  sarcenet?  " 

"  Yes,  mistress." 

"  Then  tell  me  again  the  tale  that  you  were " 

I  broke  in  with  such  fury  that  even  Dolly  ceased. 

"  My  Cousin,"  I  said,  "  I  have  a  louder  voice  than  either 
of  you;  and  I  shall  use  it,  if  you  do  not  listen,  so  thai  the 
whole  countryside  shall  hear.  I  have  to  say  this — that  some 
time  or  another  to-day  I  have  to  have  a  private  conversation 
with  you.  It  is  for  you  to  choose  the  time  and  place.  If  you 
give  me  no  opportunity  now,  I  shall  make  it  myself,  later. 
Will  you  hear  what  I  have  to  say  now  ?  " 

There  was  a  very  short  silence. 

"  Anne,"  said  Dolly,  "  now  that  we  can  hear  ourselves 
speak,  will  you  tell  me  again  the  tale  that  you  began  last 
night?" 

She  said  it,  not  at  all  lightly,  but  with  a  coldness  and  a 


268  ODDSFISH! 

distilled  kind  of  anger  that  gave  me  no  choice.  I  lifted  my 
hat  a  little;  shook  my  reins;  and  once  more  took  up  my  posi- 
tion ten  yards  ahead.  There  was  a  low  murmur  of  voices 
behind;  and  then  silence.  It  appeared  that  the  tale  was  not 
to  be  told  after  all. 

We  dined,  very  late,  at  a  little  inn,  called  the  Cross-Keys, 
between  Edmonton  and  Ware.  I  remember  nothing  at  all, 
either  of  the  inn  or  the  host  or  the  food — nothing  but  the 
name  of  the  inn,  for  the  name  struck  me,  with  a  dreary  kind  of 
wit,  as  reflective  of  the  cross-purposes  which  we  were  at.  We 
three  dined  together,  in  profound  silence,  except  when  Dolly 
addressed  a  word  or  two  to  her  maid.  As  for  me,  she  took 
the  food  which  I  carved,  all  as  if  I  were  a  servant,  without 
even  such  a  thank-you  as  a  man  gives  to  a  servant. 

We  took  the  road  again,  about  three  o'clock;  and  even  then 
the  day  was  beginning  to  draw  in  a  little,  very  bleak  and  dis- 
mal; and  that,  too,  I  took  as  a  symbol  of  my  heart  within,  and 
of  my  circumstances  and  prospects.  Certainly  I  had  gained 
my  desire  in  one  way;  I  had  got  Dolly  away  from  Court;  yet 
that  was  the  single  point  I  had  to  congratulate  myself  upon. 
All  else,  it  appeared,  was  ruined.  I  had  lost  all  the  ad- 
vantage, or  very  nearly  all,  that  I  had  ever  won  from  the 
King — (for  I  knew,  that  although  he  had  been  merry  at  the 
end  of  the  time,  he  would  not  forget  how  I  had  worsted  him) 
— and  as  for  Dolly,  I  supposed  she  would  never  speak  to  me 
again.  It  had  been  bad  enough  when  I  had  left  Hare  Street 
nearly  a  twelvemonth  ago:  my  return  to  it  now  was  a  hundred 
times  worse. 

Although  Dolly,  however,  would  not  speak  to  me,  I  was 
entirely  determined  to  speak  to  Dolly.  I  proposed  to  re- 
hearse to  her  what  I  had  done,  and  why;  and  when  that  was 
over,  I  would  leave  it  in  her  hands  whether  I  remained  at 
Hare  Street  a  day  or  two,  or  left  again  next  morning.  More 
than  a  day  or  two,  I  did  not  even  hope  for.  I  had  insulted 
her — it  seemed — beyond  forgiveness.  Yet,  besides  my  mis- 
erableness,  there  was  something  very  like  pleasure  as  well, 
though  of  a  grim  sort.  I  had  spoken  my  mind  to  her,  pretty 


ODDSFISH!  269 

well,  and  would  do  so  more  explicitly;  and  I  was  to  speak  my 
mind  very  well  indeed  to  her  father.  There  was  a  real  satis- 
faction to  me  in  that  prospect.  Then,  once  more,  I  would 
shut  the  door  for  ever  on  Hare  Street,  and  go  back  again  to 
town,  and  begin  all  over  again  at  the  beginning,  and  try  to 
retrieve  a  little  of  what  I  had  lost.  Such  then  were  my 
thoughts. 

We  supped,  at  Ware — at  the  Saracen's  Head,  and  the  same 
wretched  performance  was  gone  through  as  at  the  Cross-Keys. 
Night  was  fallen  completely;  and  we  had  candles  that  gut- 
tered not  a  little.  Dolly  was  silent,  however,  this  time,  even 
to  her  maid.  She  did  not  give  me  one  look,  all  through  sup- 
per. 

When  I  came  out  afterwards  to  the  horses,  the  yard  was 
all  in  a  mist:  I  could  see  no  more  than  a  spot  of  light  where 
the  lamp  should  be  by  the  stable-door.  The  host  came  with 
me. 

"  It  has  fallen  very  foggy,  sir,"  he  said.  "  Would  it  not 
be  best  to  stay  the  night?  " 

I  was  considering  the  point  before  answering;  but  my 
cousin  answered  for  me,  from  behind. 

"  Nonsense,"  said  she.  "  I  know  every  step  of  the  way. 
Where  are  the  horses  ?  " 

(Even  that,  I  observed,  she  said  to  the  host  and  not  to  me.) 

"  The  lady  is  impatient  to  get  home,"  I  said.  "  Is  the  fog 
likely  to  spread  far  ?  " 

"  It  may  be  from  here  to  Cambridge,  sir,"  he  said — "  at 
this  time  of  the  year." 

"  Where  are  the  horses?  "  said  Dolly  again. 

There  was  no  help  for  it.  Once  more  we  mounted;  Dolly, 
again,  assisted  by  the  host,  and  not  by  me:  but  Anne  was 
gracious  enough  to  accept  my  ministrations. 

For  a  few  miles  all  went  well :  but  the  roads  hereabouts  were 
very  soft  and  boggy;  it  was  next  to  impossible  sometimes  to 
know  whether  we  were  right  or  not;  and  after  a  while  one 
of  my  men  waited  for  me — he  that  carried  the  lantern  to 
guide  the  rest  of  us.  The  first  I  saw  of  him  was  his  horse's 


270  ODDSFISH! 

ears,  very  black,  like  a  pair  of  horns,  against  the  lighted  mist. 

"  Sir,"  he  said,  "  I  do  not  know  the  road.  I  can  see  nol 
five  yards,  light  or  no  light." 

I  called  out  to  James. 

"  James,"  said  I,  "  do  you  know  where  we  are?  " 

"  No,  sir,"  said  he,  "  at  least  not  very  well." 

"  Cousin,"  I  said — (for  Dolly  had  reined  up  her  horse  close 
behind,  not  knowing,  I  suppose,  that  I  was  so  near).  "  Cousin, 
I  am  sorry  to  trouble  you;  but  unless  you  can  lead  us " 

"  Give  me  the  lantern,"  she  said  sharply  to  my  man. 

She  took  it  from  him,  and  pushed  forwards.  I  wheeled  my 
horse  after  her  and  followed.  The  rest  fell  in  behind  some- 
where. I  did  not  say  one  word,  good  or  bad;  for  a  certain 
thought  had  come  to  me  of  what  might  happen.  She  thought, 
I  suppose,  that  Anne  was  behind  her. 

So  impatient  was  my  Cousin  Dolly,  that,  certain  of  her 
road,  as  she  supposed,  she  urged  her  horse  presently  into  a 
kind  of  amble.  I  urged  mine  to  the  same ;  and  so,  for  perhaps 
ten  minutes,  we  rode  in  silence.  I  could  hear  the  horses  be- 
hind— or  rather  the  sucking  noise  of  their  feet, — fall  behinc 
a  little,  and  then  a  little  more.  The  men  were  talking,  too 
and  so  was  Anne,  to  them — for  she  liked  men's  company,  and 
did  not  get  very  much  of  it  in  Dolly's  service — and  this  I 
suppose  was  the  reason  why  they  did  not  notice  how  the  dis- 
tance grew  between  us.  After  about  ten  minutes  I  heard  a 
man  shout;  but  the  fog  deadened  his  voice,  so  that  it  sounded 
a  great  way  off;  and  Dolly,  I  suppose,  thought  he  was  not  of 
our  party  at  all;  for  she  never  turned  her  head;  and  besides, 
she  was  intent  on  hating  me,  and  that,  I  think,  absorbed  her 
more  than  she  knew.  I  said  nothing;  I  rode  on  in  silence, 
seeing  her  like  an  outline  only  in  the  dark,  now  and  again — 
and,  more  commonly  nothing  but  a  kind  of  lighted  mist,  now 
and  then  obscured.  It  appeared  to  me  that  we  were  very  far 
away  to  the  right;  but  then  I  never  professed  to  know  the 
way;  and  it  was  no  business  of  mine.  Truly  the  very  courses 
of  nature  fought  against  my  cousin  and  her  passionate  ways. 

Presently  I  turned  at  a  sound;  and  there  was  James'  mare 
at  my  heels.  I  knew  her  even  in  the  dark,  by  the  white  blaze 


ODDSFISH!  271 

on  her  forehead.  I  had  been  listening  for  the  voices;  and 
had  not  noticed  he  was  there.  I  reined  up,  instantly;  and  as 
he  came  level  I  plucked  his  sleeve. 

"  James/'  I  whispered  in  Italian,  lest  Dolly  should  catch 
even  a  phrase  of  what  I  said — "  not  a  word.  Go  back  and 
find  the  others.  Leave  us.  We  will  find  our  way." 

James  was  an  exceedingly  discreet  and  sensible  fellow — as 
I  knew.  He  reined  back  upon  the  instant,  and  was  gone  in 
the  black  mist;  and  I  could  hear  his  horse's  footsteps  passing 
into  the  distance.  What  he  thought,  God  and  he  alone  knew; 
for  he  never  told  me. 

The  soft  sound  of  the  hoofs  was  scarcely  died  away,  before 
I  too  had  to  pull  in  suddenly;  for  there  were  the  haunches  of 
Dolly's  horse  before  the  very  nose  of  my  poor  grey.  She  had 
halted;  and  was  listening.  I  held  my  breath. 

"Anne,"  she  said  suddenly.     "Anne,  where  are  you?" 

As  in  the  Scripture — there  was  no  voice  nor  any  that  an- 
swered. There  was  no  sound  at  all  but  the  creaking  of  the 
harness,  and  the  soft  breathing  of  the  horses,  for  we  had  been 
coming  over  heavy  ground.  The  world  was  as  if  buried  in 
wool. 

"Anne,"  she  said  again;  and  I  caught  a  note  of  fear  in  her 
voice. 

"  Cousin,"  said  I  softly,  "  I  fear  Anne  is  lost,  and  so  are 
the  rest.  You  see  you  would  not  speak  to  me;  and  it  was 
none  of  my  business " 

"Who  is  that?"  said  she  sharply.  But  she  knew  well 
enough. 

I  resolved  to  spare  her  nothing;  for  I  was  beginning  to  un- 
derstand her  a  little  better. 

"  It  is  Cousin  Roger,"  I  said.  "  You  see  you  said  you  knew 
the  road,  and  so " 

Then  she  lashed  her  horse  suddenly;  and  I  heard  him 
plunge.  But  he  could  not  go  fast,  from  the  heaviness  of  the 
ground ;  and  he  was  very  weary  too,  as  were  we  all.  Besides, 
she  forgot  that  she  carried  the  lantern,  I  think;  and  I  was 
able  to  follow  her  easily  enough;  as  the  light  moved  up  and 
down.  Then  the  light  halted  once  more;  and  I  saw  a  great 


ODDSFISH! 

whiteness  beyond  it  which  I  could  not  at  first  understand. 

I  came  up  quietly;  and  spoke  again. 

"  Dolly,  my  dear ;  we  had  best  have  a  little  truce — an 
armed  truce,  if  you  will — but  a  truce.  You  can  be  angry  with 
me  again  afterwards." 

"  You  coward !  "  she  said,  with  a  sob  in  her  voice,  "  to  lead 
me  away  like  this " 

"  My  dear,  it  was  you  who  did  the  leading.  Do  me  bare 
justice.  I  have  followed  very  humbly." 

She  made  no  answer. 

"  Cousin;  be  reasonable,"  I  said.  "  Let  us  find  the  way  out 
of  this;  and  when  we  are  clear  you  can  say  what  you  will — 
or  say  nothing  once  more." 

She  took  me  at  my  word,  and  preserved  her  deadly  si- 
lence. 

I  slipped  off  my  horse;  she  was  within  an  arm's  length, 
and,  not  trusting  her,  I  passed  my  arm  with  scarcely  a  notice- 
able movement  through  her  bridle.  It  was  well  that  I  did 
so;  for  an  instant  after  she  tore  at  the  bridle,  not  knowing 
I  had  hold  of  it,  and  lashed  her  horse  again,  thinking  to  escape 
whilst  I  was  on  the  ground.  I  was  very  near  knocked  down 
by  the  horse's  shoulder,  but  I  slipped  up  my  hand  and  caught 
him  close  to  the  bit — holding  my  own  with  my  other  hand. 

"  You  termagant ! "  I  said,  as  soon  as  I  had  them  both 
quiet;  for  I  was  very  angry  indeed  to  be  treated  so  after  all 
my  gentleness.  "  No  more  trust  for  me.  It  would  serve  you 
right  if  I  left  you  here." 

"  Leave  me,"  she  wailed,  "  leave  me,  you  coward !  " 

I  set  my  teeth. 

"  I  shall  not,"  I  said.  "  I  shall  punish  you  by  remaining. 
I  know  you  hate  my  company.  Well,  you  will  submit  to  it, 
then,  because  I  choose  so.  Now  then,  let  us  see " 

Then  she  burst  out  suddenly  into  a  passion  of  weeping. 
I  set  my  teeth  harder  than  ever.  There  was  only  one  way, 
after  all,  to  get  the  better  of  Dolly;  and  I  had  pitched  on  it. 

"  Yes:  it  is  very  well  to  cry,"  I  said.  "  You  nearly  had  me 
killed  just  now.  Well:  you  will  have  to  listen  to  me  presently, 
whether  you  like  it  or  not.  Give  me  the  lantern," 


ODDSFISH!  273 

She  made  no  movement.  She  had  fought  down  the  tears 
a  little;  but  I  could  hear  her  breath  still  sobbing.  I  reached 
up  and  took  the  lantern  from  her  right  hand. 

"  Now;  where  in  God's  name  are  we?  "  said  I. 

We  had  ridden  into  some  kind  of  blind  alley,  I  presently 
saw;  and  that  was  why  Dolly's  horse  had  halted.  Even  that 
I  had  not  owed  to  her  goodwill.  For  we  had  ridden,  I  saw 
presently,  lifting  the  lantern  up  and  down,  into  a  great  chalk 
pit;  and  must  have  turned  off  along  the  track  that  led  to  it, 
from  one  of  those  sunken  ways  that  drovers  use  to  bring  their 
flocks  up  to  the  high  road.  That  we  were  to  the  right  of  the 
high  road  I  was  certain,  of  my  own  observation.  Ergo;  if 
we  could  get  back  into  the  sunken  way  and  turn  to  the  right, 
we  might  find  ourselves  on  familiar  ground  again.  However, 
I  said  nothing  of  this  to  Dolly.  I  was  resolved  that  she 
should  suffer  a  little  more  first.  I  took  the  bridles  of  the  two 
horses  more  securely,  slipping  my  hand  with  the  lantern 
through  the  bridle  of  my  own,  turned  their  heads  round  and 
walked  between  them,  looking  very  closely  on  this  side  and 
that,  and  turning  my  lantern  every  way.  After  twenty  yards 
I  saw  that  I  was  right.  The  bank  on  my  left  proved  to  be 
no  bank,  but  the  cliff-edge  of  the  chalk  pit  only,  by  which  the 
sunken  way  passed  very  near.  I  led  the  horses  round  to  the 
right;  and  there  were  we,  in  the  very  situation  I  had  surmised. 
Still  holding  Dolly's  bridle,  I  mounted  my  own  horse;  and 
when  I  had  done  so,  to  secure  myself  and  her  the  better,  I 
pulled  the  reins  suddenly  over  her  horse's  head,  and  brought 
them  into  my  left  hand. 

"  That  is  safer,"  I  observed.  "  Now  we  can  pretend  to  be 
friends  again;  and  hold  that  conversation  of  which  I  spoke 
after  we  left  London." 

There  was  no  answer,  as  we  set  out  along  the  way.  It  was 
a  little  clearer  by  now;  and  I  could  see  the  bank  on  my  right. 
I  glanced  at  her;  and  in  the  light  of  the  lantern  I  could  see 
that  she  was  sitting  very  upright  and  motionless  like  a  shadow. 
I  lowered  the  lantern  to  the  right  side,  so  that  she  was  alto- 
gether in  the  dark  and  the  bank  illuminated.  I  felt  a  little 
compassion  for  her  indeed;  but  I  dared  not  shew  it. 


274  ODDSFISH! 

"  Now,  Cousin/'  I  said,  "  I  preached  to  His  Majesty  yes- 
terday; and  he  told  me  I  should  be  a  Bishop  at  least.  Now 
it  is  you  that  must  hear  a  sermon." 

Again  she  said  nothing. 

I  had  rehearsed  pretty  well  by  now  all  that  I  meant  to 
say  to  her;  and  it  was  good  for  me  that  I  had,  else  I  might 
have  fallen  weak  again  when  I  saw  her  so  unhappy.  As  it 
was  I  kept  back  some  of  the  biting  sentences  I  had  prepared. 
My  address  was  somewhat  as  follows.  We  jogged  forward 
very  gingerly  as  I  spoke. 

"  Cousin,"  I  began,  "  you  have  treated  me  very  ill.  The 
first  of  your  offences  to  me  was  that,  though  I  had  earned, 
I  think,  the  right  to  call  myself  your  friend,  neither  you  nor 
your  father  gave  me  any  hint  whatever  of  your  going  to 
Court.  I  know  very  well  why  you  did  not;  and  I  shall  have 
a  little  discourse  to  make  to  your  father  upon  the  matter,  at 
the  proper  time.  But  for  all  that  I  had  a  right  to  be  told. 
If  you  were  to  go,  I  might  at  least  have  got  you  better  pro- 
tection in  the  beginning  than  that  of  the — the — well — of  Her 
Grace  of  Portsmouth. 

"  Now  all  that  was  the  cause  of  the  very  small  offence  that 
I  committed  against  you  myself — that  of  forcing  my  way  into 
your  lodgings.  For  that  I  offer  my  apologies — not  for  the 
fact,  but  for  the  manner  of  it.  And  even  that  apology  is  not 
very  deep:  I  shall  presently  tell  you  why. 

"  The  next  of  your  offences  to  me  was  that  open  defiance 
which  you  shewed,  and  some  of  the  words  you  addressed  to 
me,  both  then  and  afterwards.  You  have  told  me  I  was  a 
coward,  several  times,  under  various  phrases,  and  twice,  I 
think,  sans  phrase.  Cousin;  I  am  a  great  many  things  I 
should  not  be;  but  I  do  not  think  I  am  a  coward;  at  least  I 
have  never  been  a  coward  in  your  presence.  Again,  you  have 
told  me  that  I  was  very  good  at  bullying.  For  that  I  thank 
God,  and  gladly  plead  guilty.  If  a  maid  is  bent  on  her  own 
destruction,  if  nothing  else  will  serve  she  must  be  bullied  out 
of  it.  Again,  I  thank  God  that  I  was  there  to  do  it." 

I  looked  at  her  out  of  the  tail  of  my  eye.  Her  head  seemed 
to  me  to  be  a  little  hung  down;  but  she  said  nothing  at  all. 


ODDSFISH!  275 

"  The  third  offence  of  yours  is  the  intolerable  discourtesy 
you  have  shewn  to  me  all  to-day — and  before  servants,  too. 
I  put  myself  to  great  pains  to  get  you  out  of  that  stinking 
hole  called  Whitehall;  I  risked  His  Majesty's  displeasure  for 
the  same  purpose:  I  have  been  at  your  disposal  ever  since 
noon;  and  you  have  treated  me  like  a  dog.  You  will  continue 
to  treat  me  so,  no  doubt,  until  we  get  to  Hare  Street ;  and  you 
will  do  your  best  no  doubt  to  provoke  a  quarrel  between 
your  father  and  myself.  Well;  I  have  no  great  objection  to 
that;  but  I  have  not  deserved  that  you  should  behave  so.  I 
have  done  nothing,  ever  since  I  have  known  you,  but  try  to 
serve  you — "  (my  voice  rose  a  little;  for  I  was  truly  moved, 
and  far  more  than  my  words  shewed) — "  You  first  treated  me 
like  a  friend;  then,  when  you  would  not  have  me  as  a  lover, 
I  went  away,  and  I  stayed  away.  Then,  when  you  would  not 
have  me  as  a  lover,  and  I  would  not  have  you  as  my  friend,  I 
became,  I  think  I  may  fairly  say,  your  defender;  and  all  that 
you  do  in  return " 

Then,  without  any  mistake  at  all,  I  caught  the  sound  of  a 
sob;  and  all  my  pompous  eloquence  dropped  from  me  like  a 
cloak.  My  anger  was  long  since  gone,  though  I  had  feigned 
it  had  not.  To  be  alone  with  her  there,  enclosed  in  the  dark- 
ness as  in  a  little  room — her  horse  and  mine  nodding  their 
heads  together,  and  myself  holding  her  bridle — all  this,  and 
the  silence  round  us,  and  my  own  heart,  very  near  bursting, 
broke  me  down. 

"  Oh!  Dolly,"  I  cried.  "Why  are  you  so  bitter  with  me? 
You  know  that  I  have  never  thought  ill  of  you  for  an  instant. 
You  know  I  have  done  nothing  but  try  to  serve  you — I  have 
bullied  you?  Yes:  I  have;  and  I  would  do  the  same  a  thou- 
sand times  again  in  the  same  cause.  You  are  wilful  and  ob- 
stinate ;  but  I  thank  God  I  am  more  wilful  and  obstinate  than 
you.  I  am  sick  of  this  fencing  and  diplomacy  and  irony. 
You  know  what  I  am — I  am  not  at  all  the  fine  gentleman  that 
leaned  his  head  on  the  chimney-breast — that  was  make-be- 
lieve and  foolishness.  I  am  a  bully  and  a  brute — you  have 
told  me  so " 

"  Oh !  "  wailed  Dolly  suddenly — no  longer  pretending ;  and 


276  ODDSFISH! 

I  caught  the  note  in  her  voice  for  which  I  had  been  waiting. 
I  dropped  the  lantern;  the  horses  plunged  violently  at  the 
flare  and  the  crash;  but  I  cared  nothing  for  that.  I  dragged 
furiously  on  the  bridle;  and  as  the  horses  swung  together,  I 
caught  her  round  the  shoulders,  and  kissed  her  fiercely  on  the 
cheek.  She  clung  to  me,  weeping. 


CHAPTER    V 

WELL;  I  had  beaten  her  at  last;  and  in  the  only  way  in  which 
she  would  yield.  Weakness  was  of  no  use  with  her,  nor 
gentleness,  nor  even  that  lofty  patronage  which,  poor  fool! 
I  had  shewn  her  in  the  parlour  at  Hare  Street.  She  must 
be  man's  mate — which  is  certainly  a  rather  savage  relation  at 
bottom — not  merely  his  pretty  and  grateful  wife.  This  I 
learned  from  her,  as  we  rode  onwards  and  up  into  the  high 
road — (where,  I  may  say  in  passing,  there  was  no  sign  of  our 
party) — though  she  did  not  know  she  was  telling  it  me. 

"  Oh !  Roger,"  she  said.  "  And  I  thought  you  were  a — a 
pussy-cat." 

"  That  is  the  second  time  I  have  been  told  so  in  two  days," 
I  said. 

"Who  told  you  so?" 

"His  Majesty." 

"  I  thought  His  Majesty  was  wiser,"  said  she. 

"  He  has  been  pretty  wise,  though,"  I  said.  "  If  it  were 
not  for  him,  we  should  not  be  riding  here  together." 

"  I  suppose  you  made  him  do  that  too,"  she  said. 

But  it  was  not  only  of  Dolly  that  I  had  learned  my  les- 
sons; it  was  of  myself  also.  I  was  astonished  how  inevitable 
it  appeared  to  me  now  that  we  should  be  riding  together  on 
such  terms;  and  I  understood  that  never,  for  one  instant,  all 
through  this  miserable  year  away  from  her,  had  I  ever,  in- 
teriorly, loosed  my  hold  upon  her.  Beneath  all  my  resolu- 
tions and  wilful  distractions  the  intention  had  persevered. 
All  the  while  I  was  saying  to  myself  in  my  own  mind  that  I 
should  never  see  Dolly  again,  something  that  was  not  my 
mind — (I  suppose  my  heart) — was  telling  me  the  precise  op- 
posite. Well;  the  heart  had  been  right,  after  all. 

She  asked  me  presently  what  I  should  say  to  her  father. 

277 


278  ODDSFISH! 

"  I  shall  forgive  him  a  great  deal  now,  that  I  thought  I 
never  should,"  I  said  with  wonderful  magnanimity.  "  A  few 
sharp  words  only,  and  no  more.  You  see,  my  dear,  it  was 
through  his  sending  you  to  Court " 

"Yes:  yes/'  she  said. 

"  He  has  behaved  abominably,  however,"  I  said,  "  and  I 
shall  tell  him  so.  Dolly,  my  love." 

"  Yes,"  said  she. 

"  I  must  go  back  very  soon  to  town.  I  have  been  offered  a 
piece  of  work;  and  even  if  I  do  not  accept  it,  I  must  speak  of 
it  to  them." 

"Them?" 

"  Yes,  my  dear.  I  must  say  no  more  than  that.  It  is 
secretum  commissum  as  we  say  in  Rome." 

"  And  to  think  that  you  were  a  Benedictine  novice !  "  ex- 
claimed Dolly. 

We  talked  awhile  of  that  then;  she  asked  me  a  number  of 
questions  that  may  be  imagined  under  such  circumstances: 
and  my  answers  also  can  be  imagined;  and  we  spoke  of  a 
great  number  of  things,  she  and  I  riding  side  by  side  in  the 
dark,  our  very  horses  friendly  one  with  another — she  telling 
me  all  of  how  she  went  to  Court,  and  why  she  went,  and  I 
telling  her  my  side  of  the  affair — until  at  last  in  Puckeridge 
a  man  ran  out  from  the  inn  yard  to  say  that  our  party  was 
within  and  waiting  for  us.  They  had  met,  it  appeared,  a 
rustic  fellow  who  had  set  them  right,  soon  after  they  had 
lost  us. 

I  do  not  know  what  they  thought  at  first;  but  I  know  what 
they  thought  in  the  end;  for  I  rated  them  very  soundly  for 
not  keeping  nearer  to  us;  and  bade  James  ride  ahead  with  the 
lantern  with  all  the  rest  between,  and  Dolly  and  I  in  the  rear 
to  keep  them  from  straying  again.  In  this  manner  then  did 
she  and  I  contrive  to  have  a  great  deal  more  conversation 
before  we  came  a  little  before  midnight  to  Hare  Street. 

The  village  was  all  dark  as  we  came  through  it;  and  all 
dark  was  the  House  when  we  pushed  open  the  yard  gates  and 


ODDSFISH!  279 

rode  in.  We  went  through  and  beat  upon  the  door,  and  pres- 
ently heard  a  window  thrown  up. 

"Who  is  there?"  cried  my  Cousin  Tom's  voice. 

I  bade  Dolly's  maid  answer.  (She  was  all  perplexed,  poor 
wench,  at  the  change  of  relations  between  her  mistress  and 
me.) 

"  It  is  Mistress  Jermyn,  sir,"  she  said. 

"  Yes,  father ;  I  have  come  back/'  cried  Dolly. 

There  was  an  exclamation  from  poor  Tom;  and  in  two  or 
three  minutes  we  saw  a  light  beneath  the  door,  and  heard  him 
drawing  the  bolts.  I  pushed  Dolly  and  her  maid  forward  as 
the  door  opened,  and  then  myself  strode  suddenly  forward  into 
the  light. 

"Why — God  bless "  cried  Tom;  who  was  in  his  coat 

and  shoes.  I  could  see  how  his  face  fell  when  he  saw  me. 
I  looked  at  him  very  grimly:  but  I  said  nothing  to  him  at 
once  (for  I  was  sorely  tempted  to  laugh  at  his  apparition), 
but  turned  to  James  and  bade  him  see  to  the  rest  and  find  beds 
somewhere.  Then  I  went  after  Dolly  and  her  father  into  the 
Great  Chamber,  still  with  my  hat  on  my  head  and  looking 
very  stern.  He  was  talking  very  swiftly  in  a  low  voice  to 
Dolly;  but  he  stopped  when  I  came  in. 

"  Yes,  Cousin  Tom,"  I  said,  "  I  am  come  back  again — all 
unlooked  for,  as  I  see." 

"But,  good  God!"  he  cried.  "What  is  the  matter;  and 
why  is  Dolly  here?  I  was  but  just  asking " 

I  pulled  out  the  King's  paper  which  I  had  all  ready,  and 
thrust  it  down  before  the  lantern  that  he  had  put  on  the  table : 
and  I  waited  till  he  had  read  it  through. 

"  There,  Cousin !  "  I  said  when  he  was  staring  on  me  again, 
"  that  is  enough  warrant  for  both  you  and  me,  I  think.  Have 
you  anything  to  say  ?  " 

He  began  to  bluster. 

"  Cousin,"  I  said,  "  if  I  haye  any  patience  it  is  because 
Dolly  has  given  it  back  to  me.  You  had  best  not  say  too 
much.  You  have  done  all  the  harm  you  could;  and  it  is  only 
by  God's  mercy  that  it  has  not  been  greater." 


280  ODDSFISH! 

He  said  that  he  was  Dolly's  father  and  could  do  as  he 
pleased.  Besides,  she  herself  had  consented. 

"  I  know  that/*  I  said,  "  because  she  has  told  me  so ;  am 
that  it  was  in  despair  that  she  went,  because  we  two  fool* 
bungled  our  business.  Well,  you  may  be  her  father;  but  th( 
Scripture  tells  us  that  a  woman  must  leave  her  father  an< 
cleave  to  her  husband;  and  that  is  what  I  am  to  be  to  her." 

Well;  when  I  said  that,  there  was  the  Devil  to  pay — w< 
three  standing  there  in  the  cold  chamber,  with  the  draught 
playing  upon  poor  Tom's  legs.  He  looked  a  very  piteous  ol 
ject,  very  much  fallen  from  that  fine  figure  that  he  had  pre- 
sented when  I  had  first  set  eyes  on  him;  but  he  strove  to  com- 
pensate by  emphasis  what  he  lacked  in  dignity.  He  said  that 
he  had  changed  his  mind;  that  even  third  cousins  once  re- 
moved should  not  marry;  that  he  had  now  other  designs  for 
his  daughter;  that  I  had  no  right  to  dictate  to  him  in  his  own 
house.  He  waxed  wonderfully  warm;  but  even  then,  in  the 
first  flush  of  his  resistance  I  thought  I  saw  a  kind  of  waver- 
ing. I  sat  with  one  leg  across  the  corner  of  the  great  table 
until  he  was  done;  while  Dolly  sat  in  a  chair,  turning  her 
merry  eyes  from  the  one  to  the  other  of  us.  For  myself,  I 
felt  no  lack  of  confidence.  I  had  beaten  the  daughter;  now 
I  was  to  beat  the  father. 

When  he  had  finished,  and  drew  breath,  I  stood  up. 

"  Very  bravely  said,  Cousin,  bare  legs  and  all,"  I  said. 
"We  will  speak  of  it  all  again  to-morrow.  But  now  for  a 
bite ;  we  have  been  riding  since  noon." 

It  was  very  strange  to  go  upstairs  again  after  a  mouthful 
or  two,  and  a  glass  of  warm  ale,  and  see  my  chamber  again 
from  which  I  had  departed  in  such  unhappiness  near  a  twelve- 
month ago.  James  had  made  a  little  fire  for  me,  before  which 
I  drew  off  my  boots  and  undressed  myself.  For  it  was  from 
this  very  chamber  that  I  had  gone  forth  in  such  despair,  when 
Dolly  had  said  that  she  would  not  have  me:  and  now,  here  I 
was  in  it  again,  all  glowing  with  my  ride  and  my  drink  and 
my  great  content,  having  kissed  Dolly  just  now  in  her  father's 


ODDSFISH*  281 

presence  as  a  symbol  of  our  troth.     And  so  I  went  to  bed  and 
dreamed  and  woke  and  dreamed  again. 

We  had  our  talk  out  next  morning,  Tom  pacing  up  and 
down  the  Great  Chamber,  until  I  entreated  him  for  God's  sake 
to  sit  down  and  save  my  stiff  neck.  He  was  very  high  at 
first;  but  I  was  astonished  how  quickly  he  came  down. 

"  That  is  very  well/'  I  said,  "  to  speak  now  of  better  pros- 
pects for  Dolly.  But  you  will  do  me  the  honour  of  remember- 
ing, my  dear  Cousin,  that  in  this  very  room  once  you  spoke  to 
me  very  differently.  If  you  have  changed  your  mind,  you 
might  at  least  have  told  me  so;  for  I  have  not  changed  mine 
at  all ;  and  Dolly,  it  seems,  is  come  round  to  my  way  of  think- 
ing at  last.'* 

"  But  how  did  you  do  it  ?  "  asked  he,  stopping  in  his  walk. 

"  I  lost  my  temper  altogether,"  said  I ;  "  and  that  is  a  very 
good  way  if  you  have  tried  all  the  rest." 

"  But  the  King,  man,  the  King !  How  did  you  get  that 
paper  out  of  him?  Why  His  Majesty  himself,  I  am  told, 
took  particular  notice " 

"Eh?"  said  I. 

"  That  is  no  matter  now/'  he  said.  "  What  were  you  going 
to  say?  " 

"  I  must  have  that  first,"  said  I. 

Tom  began  to  pace  the  floor  again. 

"  It  is  nothing  at  all,  Cousin.  It  is  that  His  Majesty  spoke 
very  kindly  to  my  daughter  upon  her  first  coming  to  Court." 

"  I  am  glad  I  did  not  know  that,"  I  said,  "  or  I  might  have 
said  more  to  him." 

"  Well;  but  what  did  you  say?  " 

Now  I  was  in  half  a  dozen  minds  as  to  what  I  should  tell 
him.  He  knew  for  certain  nothing  at  all  of  my  comings  and 
goings  and  of  what  I  did  for  the  King;  yet  I  thought  that  he 
must  have  guessed  a  good  deal.  I  judged  it  safer,  therefore, 
to  tell  him  a  little,  to  stop  his  mouth ;  but  not  too  much. 

"  Why,"  I  said  very  carefully,  "  I  have  been  of  a  little 
service  to  the  King;  and  His  Majesty  was  good  enough  to  ask 


282  ODDSFISH! 

me  if  there  were  any  little  favour  he  could  do  me.  So  that  is 
what  I  asked  him." 

Tom  stopped  in  his  pacing  again:  and  it  was  then  that  I 
entreated  him  to  sit  down  and  talk  like  a  Christian.  He  did 
so,  without  a  word. 

"  In  France,  I  suppose  ?  "  he  said  immediately  after. 

"  Why,  yes/' 

Tom  looked  at  me  again. 

"  And  you  travel  with  four  men  now,  instead  of  one." 

"  I  find  it  more  convenient,"  I  said. 

"  And  more  expensive  too,"  he  observed. 

"  Why,  yes :  a  little  more  expensive,  too,"  I  answered.  But 
I  was  a  shade  uneasy;  because  this  increase  of  servants  was  at 
His  Majesty's  desire  and  cost.  I  made  haste  to  turn  the  con- 
versation back  once  more.  I  did  not  wish  Tom  to  think  that  I 
was  of  any  importance  at  all. 

"  Well;  but  what  of  Dolly?  "  I  said. 

It  was  then  that  my  Cousin  suddenly  came  down  from  his 
loftiness.  He  seemed  to  awake  out  of  a  little  reverie. 

"You  come  into  the  enjoyment  of  your  property,"  he  said, 
"  in  four  years  from  now  ?  " 

"  In  less  than  that,"  I  said.  "  It  is  three  years  and  a  half. 
My  birthday  is  in  June." 

He  asked  me  one  or  two  more  questions  then  as  to  its  amount, 
and  what  arrangements  I  would  make  in  the  event  of  my  mar- 
riage. When  I  had  satisfied  him  upon  these  matters,  he  fell 
again  into  a  reverie. 

"  Well?  "  said  I,  a  little  sharply. 

"  Cousin,"  he  said,  "  I  do  not  wish  to  stand  in  your  way. 
But  there  must  be  no  talk  of  marriage  till  '85.  Will  that  con- 
tent you  ?  " 

It  did  not  in  the  least;  but  it  was  what  I  had  expected.  I 
was  scarcely  rich  enough  yet  to  support  a  wife,  and  knew  that, 
well  enough;  for  if  I  married  and  left  the  King's  service  there 
would  be  no  more  travelling  expenses  for  me.  Dolly  and  I 
last  night  had  agreed  upon  that  as  the  least  that  we  could  con- 
sent to. 

"  Four  years  is  a  long  time,"  said  I. 


ODDSFISH!  283 

"  You  said  three  and  a  half  just  now,"  he  observed  a  little 
bitterly. 

"  Well :  three  and  a  half.  I  suppose  I  must  take  that,  if  I 
can  get  nothing  better/' 

Now  I  was  secretly  a  little  astonished  that  my  Cousin  Tom 
had  consented  so  quickly,  after  his  recent  ambitions.  Plainly 
he  had  aimed  higher  than  at  my  poor  standard  during  those 
months ;  for  when  a  maid  went  to  Court  as  one  of  the  Queen's 
ladies  the  least  that  was  expected  of  her  was  that  she  would 
marry  a  pretty  rich  man.  But  the  reason  of  it  all  was  unpleas- 
antly evident  to  me.  He  must  have  gathered  from  what  I  had 
said  and  done  that  my  favour  was  increasing  with  the  King; 
and  therefore  he  must  have  argued  too  that  I  must  be  serving 
His  Majesty  in  some  very  particular  way — which  was  the  very 
last  thing  I  desired  him  to  know,  as  he  was  such  a  gossip.  But 
I  dared  say  no  more  then.  We  grasped  one  another's  hands 
very  heartily :  and  then  I  went  to  find  Dolly. 

The  days  that  followed  were  very  happy  ones — though,  as 
I  shall  presently  relate,  they  were  to  be  interrupted  once  more. 
I  had  in  my  mind,  during  them  all,  that  I  must  soon  go  up  to 
London  again  to  tell  Mr.  Chiffinch  my  final  decision  that  I 
could  not  undertake  the  work  that  he  had  proposed  to  me;  for 
I  had  spoken  of  it  at  some  length  with  Dolly,  giving  her  a  con- 
fidence that  I  dared  not  give  to  her  father.  But  I  did  not  think 
that  I  should  have  to  go  so  soon. 

It  was  in  the  hour  before  supper  one  evening  that  I  told 
her  of  it,  as  we  sat  in  the  tapestried  parlour,  looking  into  the 
fire  from  the  settle  where  we  sat  together. 

"  My  dear,"  said  I,  "  I  wish  to  ask  your  advice.  But  it  is  a 
very  private  matter  indeed." 

"  Tell  me,"  said  Dolly  contentedly.  (Her  hand  was  in 
mine,  and  she  looked  extraordinary  pretty  in  the  firelight.) 

"  I  am  asked  whether  I  will  undertake  a  little  work.  In 
itself  it  is  excellent.  It  concerns  the  protection  of  His 
Majesty;  but  it  is  the  means  that  I  am  doubtful  about." 

Then  I  told  her  that  of  the  details— of  the  how  and  the 


284  ODDSFISH! 

when  and  the  where — I  knew  no  more  than  she:  but  that,  if 
all  went  well,  I  might  find  myself  trusted  by  a  traitor:  and 
that  I  was  considering  whether  in  such  a  cause  as  this  it  was 
a  work  to  which  I  could  put  my  hand,  to  betray  that  trust,  if  I 
got  it.  But  before  I  was  done  speaking  I  knew  that  I  could 
not — so  wonderfully  does  speaking  to  another  clear  one's  mind 
— and  that  though  I  could  not  condemn  outright  a  man  who 
thought  fit  to  do  so,  any  more  than  I  would  condemn  a  scav- 
enger for  cleaning  the  gutter,  it  was  not  work  for  a  gentleman 
to  seek  out  a  confidence  that  he  might  betray  it  again. 

"  Now  that  I  have  put  it  into  words,"  I  said,  "  I  see  that  it 
cannot  be  done.  Certainly  it  would  advance  me  very  much 
with  His  Majesty;  (and  that  is  one  reason  why  I  spoke  to  you 
of  it) — but  such  advance  would  be  too  dearly  bought.  Do  you 
not  think  so  too,  my  dear?  " 

She  nodded  slowly  and  very  emphatically  three  or  four  times, 
without  speaking,  as  her  manner  was. 

"  Then  that  is  decided,"  said  I,  "  and  in  a  day  or  two  I  will 
go  to  town  and  tell  them  so." 

So  we  put  the  matter  away  then;  and  spoke  of  matters  far 
more  dear  to  both  of  us,  until  Tom  came  in  and  exclaimed  at 
our  sitting  in  the  dark  as  he  called  it. 

The  interruption  came  that  very  night. 

We  were  at  supper,  and  speaking  of  Christmas,  and  of  how 
we  would  have  again  the  dancing  as  last  year,  when  we  heard 
a  man  ride  past  the  house,  pulling  up  his  horse  as  he  came. 
Such  interruptions  came  pretty  often; — it  was  so  that  I  had 
been  first  sent  for  by  Mr.  Chiffinch :  and  it  was  so  again  that  the 
Duke  of  Monmouth  had  come,  and  others — but  we  had  plenty 
too  of  others  who  came,  seeing  the  house  at  the  end  of  the  vil- 
lage, to  ask  their  way,  or  what  not;  so  we  paid  no  attention 
to  it.  Presently,  however,  we  heard  a  man's  steps  come  along 
the  paved  walk,  and  then  a  knocking  at  the  door.  James  went 
out  to  see  who  was  there;  and  came  back  immediately  saying 
that  it  was  a  courier  with  a  letter  for  me.  My  conscience 
smote  me  a  little,  for  I  had  delayed  more  than  a  week  now  from 
answering  Mr.  Chimnch:  and,  sure  enough,  when  I  went  out, 


ODDSFISH!  285 

the  man  was  come  from  him.  I  took  the  letter  he  gave  me  into 
the  Great  Chamber  to  read  it,  and  was  astonished  at  its  con- 
tents. There  were  but  four  lines  in  it. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  it  ran,  "  come  immediately — that  is  to-mor- 
row. The  Lord  hath  delivered  them  into  our  hands.  Ride 
by  Amwell;  and  go  through  the  place  slowly  between  eleven 
and  twelve  with  no  servant  near."  And  it  was  signed  with  his 
initials  only. 

I  went  back  again  into  the  dining-room  immediately,  and 
shut  the  door  behind  me. 

"  I  must  go  to  town,  to-morrow/'  I  said,  all  short. 

Dolly  looked  up  at  me,  gone  a  little  white.  I  shook  my 
head  and  smiled  at  her,  but  secretly;  so  that  Tom  did  not  see. 


CHAPTER     VI 

I  DO  not  think  that  I  have  yet  related  how  great  was  the  work 
that  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  done  in  the  matter  of  the  spies  that  he 
had  everywhere  during  those  later  years  of  His  Majesty 
Charles  the  Second.  That  which  he  had  done  during  Mon- 
mouth's  progress  in  the  north-r-his  receiving  of  reports  day  by 
day,  and  even  hour  by  hour — this  was  only  one  instance  of  his 
activity.  The  secret-looking  men,  or  even  the  bold-looking 
gentlemen,  whom  I  had  met  on  his  stairs  so  continually,  or  for 
whose  sake  I  was  kept  waiting  sometimes  when  I  went  to  see 
him — these  were  his  tools  and  messengers.  This  company  of 
spies  was  of  all  grades;  and  it  was  to  serve  in  that  company 
that  he  had  sent  for  me  from  France,  and  that  I  was  determined 
to  decline. 

Though,  however,  I  was  so  determined,  I  did  not  dare  to 
disobey  the  directions  that  his  letter  gave  me;  for  I  could  not 
be  sure  that  it  was  for  this  work  in  particular  that  he  had  sum- 
moned me ;  though  I  guessed  that  it  was.  I  would  go,  thought 
I,  and  do  in  everything  as  he  had  said;  I  would  ride  through 
Amwell,  with  my  servants  behind  at  a  good  distance:  I  would 
see  what  befell  me  there — for  that  something  would,  was  cer- 
tain from  the  letter;  then  I  would  proceed  on  to  London,  and 
if  the  affair  were  against  my  honour,  as  I  was  sure  it  would  be, 
I  would  refuse  any  further  part  in  it.  My  one  hardship  was 
that  I  could  do  no  more  than  tell  Dolly  in  private  that  I  would 
hold  to  my  resolution.  I  dared  not  tell  her  anything  of  the 
contents  of  the  letter  which  I  had  immediately  destroyed.  I 
promised  her  that  I  would  be  back  for  Christmas  at  the  latest. 
She  came  out  to  the  yard-gate  to  wish  me  good-bye:  my  serv- 
ants were  gone  in  front;  and  my  Cousin  Tom  had  the  sense  to 
be  out  of  the  way ;  so  our  good-byes  were  all  that  such  miserable 
things  ever  can  be.  I  waved  to  her  at  the  corner,  and  she 
waved  back. 


ODDSFISH!  287 

When  we  came  about  two  miles  to  the  north  of  Amwell — 
which  we  did  about  eleven  o'clock,  as  I  had  been  bid,  I  bade 
my  servants  stay  behind,  and  not  come  after  me  till  half  an 
hour  later;  further  I  bade  them,  if,  when  they  came,  they 
found  me  in  any  man's  company,  neither  to  salute  me  nor  to 
make  any  sign  of  recognition;  but  to  pass  straight  on  to  Hod- 
desdon  and  wait  for  me  there,  not  at  the  inn  where  I  was 
known,  but  at  another  little  one — the  King's  Arms — at  the 
further  end  of  the  village,  and  there  they  were  to  dine.  Even 
then,  when  I  came,  if  I  did,  they  were  not  to  salute  me  until 
I  had  spoken  with  them.  All  this  I  did,  interpreting  as  well 
as  I  could,  what  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  said;  and  they,  since  they 
were  well-trained  in  that  kind  of  service,  understood  me  per- 
fectly. 

It  was  near  half-past  eleven  when  I  came,  riding  very 
slowly,  into  the  village  street,  looking  this  way  and  that  so  as 
to  shew  my  face,  but  as  if  I  were  just  looking  about  me.  I 
noticed  a  couple  of  servants,  in  a  very  plain  livery  which  I 
thought  I  had  seen  before,  in  the  yard  of  the  Mitre,  but  they 
paid  no  attention  to  me.  So  I  passed  up  the  street  to  the  end, 
and  no  one  spoke  with  me  or  shewed  any  sign.  Now  I  knew 
that  there  was  something  forward,  and  that  unless  I  fell  in 
with  it  the  arrangement  would  have  failed;  so  I  turned  again 
and  rode  back,  as  if  I  were  looking  for  an  inn.  Again  no  one 
spoke  with  me;  so  I  rode,  as  if  discontented,  into  the  yard  of 
the  Mitre,  and  demanded  of  an  ostler  whether  there  was  any 
food  fit  to  eat  there. 

He  looked  at  me  in  a  kind  of  hesitation. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  he  said;  "  but — but  the  parlour  is  full.  A  party 
is  there,  from  London." 

Then  I  knew  that  I  had  been  right  to  come;  because  at  the 
same  moment  I  remembered  where  I  had  seen  those  liveries 
before.  They  were  those  worn  by  the  men  who  had  come  with 
Monmouth  to  Hare  Street. 

I  said  nothing  to  the  ostler ;  but  slipped  off  my  horse,  as  he 
took  the  bridle,  and  went  indoors.  The  fellow  called  out  after 
me;  but  I  made  as  if  I  did  not  hear.  (I  have  found,  more  than 
once,  that  a  little  deafness  is  a  very  good  thing.)  There  were 


288  ODDSFISH! 

voices  I  heard  talking  beyond  a  door  at  the  end  of  the  passage ; 
I  went  up  to  this,  and  without  knocking,  lifted  the  latch  and 
went  in. 

The  room,  that  looked  out,  with  one  window  only,  into  a 
small  enclosed  garden,  was  full  of  men.  There  were  eight  of 
them,  as  I  counted  presently;  all  round  a  table  on  which  stood 
a  couple  of  tall  jugs  and  tankards.  I  raised  my  hand  to  my 
hat. 

"  I  beg  pardon,  gentlemen.     Is  there  room — 

"  Why — it  is  Mr. "  I  heard  a  voice  say,  suddenly  stifled. 

Beyond  that,  for  a  moment,  there  was  silence.  Then  a  man 
stood  up  suddenly,  with  a  kind  of  eagerness. 

"Mr.  Mallock/'  he  said,  "Mr.  Mallock!  Do  you  not  re- 
member me  ?  " 

"  Your  back  is  to  the  light,  sir — "  I  began ;  and  then : 
"  Why  it  is  Mr.  Rumbald." 

"  The  same,  sir ;  the  same.  There  is  a  friend  of  yours,  here, 
sir — Come  in  and  sit  down,  sir.  There  is  plenty  of  room  for 
another  friend." 

There  was  a  very  curious  kind  of  eagerness  in  the  maltster's 
voice,  which  puzzled  me  not  a  little;  and  there  was  a  change 
of  manner  too  in  him,  that  puzzled  me  no  less.  He  spoke  as  if 
he  had  almost  expected  me,  or  was  peculiarly  astonished  to  see 
me  there ;  and  there  was  none  of  that  hail-fellow  air  about  him 
any  more.  He  spoke  to  me  as  to  a  gentleman — as  indeed  I 
shewed  I  was  by  my  dress — but  yet  manifested  no  surprise  at 
seeing  me  so.  However,  I  had  neither  time  nor  thought  to 
consider  this  at  the  moment,  for  the  friend  of  mine  of  whom 
he  spoke,  and  who  was  now  standing  up  to  greet  me,  was  no 
other  than  my  Lord  Essex — he  who  had  been  riding  with  Mon- 
mouth  from  Newmarket;  and  he  whose  name  Mr.  Chiffinch  had 
expressly  spoken  of  to  me.  Yet  how  did  Mr.  Rumbald  know 
that  we  knew  one  another? 

I  made  haste  to  salute  him ;  for  he  too,  I  thought,  had  an  air 
of  eagerness. 

"  Come  in  and  sit  down,  Mr.  Mallock/'  he  said.  "  We  have 
dined  early;  and  are  presently  off  to  town  again.  Are  you 
riding  our  way  £  " 


ODDSFISH!  289 

"  Why,  yes,"  I  said,  "  I  am  going  up  to  my  lodgings  for  a 
little." 

(As  I  spoke  a  thousand  questions  besieged  me.  Why  was 
there  this  air  of  expectation  in  them  all?  How  did  Mr. 
Chiffinch  know  that  they  would  be  here  at  this  time  ?  Why  had 
he  arranged  that  I  should  meet  them?  Why  had  he  not  spoken 
of  their  names  to  me;  since  he  had  told  me  so  freely  of  them 
before?  Well;  I  must  wait,  thought  I,  and  meantime  go  very 
gingerly.  I  was  not  going  to  put  my  hand  to  this  kind  of 
work;  but  I  did  not  wish  to  spoil  Mr.  Chiffinch's  design  if  I 
could  help  it.) 

"  Why,"  said  my  Lord,  "  if  you  are  going  to  town,  may  I 
not  ride  with  you?  Some  of  these  gentlemen  are  in  a  hurry; 
but  I  am  sure  I  am  not.  Have  you  no  servants,  Mr.  Mai- 
lock?  " 

"  I  have  sent  mine  on  before,"  I  said,  marvelling  more  than 
ever  at  the  man's  friendliness,  "  but  I  shall  be  very  happy  to 
ride  with  your  Lordship,  if  you  can  wait  till  I  have  dined." 

My  Lord  said  a  word  to  a  man  who  sat  near  the  door,  who 
slipped  out:  and  I  heard  his  voice  ordering  dinner  for  me. 
Meantime  I  observed  the  company. 

There  were  eight,  as  I  have  said;  but  I  knew  for  certain  two 
only — the  maltster  and  my  Lord  Essex.  The  rest  puzzled  me 
not  a  little.  They  seemed  well-bred  fellows  enough;  but  they 
were  dressed  very  plainly,  and  appeared  no  more  than  country 
squires  or  lawyers  or  suchlike.  They  were  talking  of  the  most 
indifferent  things  in  the  world,  with  silences,  as  if  they  won- 
dered what  next  to  speak  of;  they  hardly  looked  at  me  at  all 
after  a  minute  or  two ;  and  presently  one  by  one  began  to  stand 
up  and  take  their  leave,  saluting  my  Lord  by  name,  and  bow- 
ing only  to  me.  By  the  time  that  my  dinner  came  there  were 
left  only  my  Lord,  who  was  very  attentive  to  me,  and  Mr. 
Rumbald;  and  before  I  was  well  set-to,  even  Mr.  Rumbald 
stood  up  to  say  good-bye. 

Again  I  was  puzzled  by  the  man;  for  again  he  appeared 
very  friendly  with  me,  and  again  shewed  no  sign  of  astonish- 
ment at  my  acquaintance  with  my  Lord  and  at  my  appearance 
as  a  gentleman. 


290  ODDSFISH! 

"  I  am  very  glad,  sir,"  he  said,  shaking  my  hand  with  greal 
warmth,  "  that  you  will  have  so  pleasant  a  ride  to  town  witl 
your  friend.  And  you  will  remember  my  house  too,  will  yoi 
not,  over  the  river,  if  ever  you  are  by  that  way." 

I  told  him  that  I  would:  and  thanked  him  for  his  courtesy 
and  he  went  out,  after  shaking  hands  too  with  my  Lord,  taking 
care  to  exchange  no  glances  with  him,  though  it  would 
evident,  even  to  a  child,  that  there  was  some  secret  betwe< 
them. 

When  he  was  gone,  my  Lord  turned  to  me. 

"A  very  good  fellow,  Rumbald — a  very  good  fellow  ii 
deed." 

I  assented,  heartily. 

"  Honest  as  the  day,"  said  my  Lord. 

"  There  is  no  doubt  of  it,"  said  I,  with  my  mouth  full. 

"  And  a  good  patriot  too.  It  is  what  we  want,  Mr.  Mai- 
lock." 

Again  I  assented;  and  my  Lord  presently  changed  the  con- 
versation. 

During  the  rest  of  dinner  he  said  nothing  that  was  significant 
of  any  of  the  things  I  suspected.  I  knew  now,  beyond  a  doubt, 
both  from  what  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  said  and  from  the  strangely 
mixed  company,  and  the  circumstances  under  which  I  found 
them,  that  something  was  forward;  but  as  to  what  it  was  all 
about  I  knew  no  more  than  the  dead.  Neither  did  I  as  yet  see 
a  single  glimmer  of  light  on  the  questions  that  had  puzzled  me 
just  now.  So  I  determined  that  when  we  were  safe  out  on  the 
lonely  road  I  would  throw  a  bait  or  two ;  though  my  resolution 
still  held  that  I  would  do  no  dirty  work,  even  for  His  Maj  esty 
himself. 

I  dined  very  tolerably,  and  lit  a  pipe  afterwards :  (my  Lord 
told  me  that  he  used  no  tobacco)  ;  and  presently  in  a  kind  of 
impatience — for  indeed  the  position  I  found  myself  in  was  a  lit- 
tle disconcerting — I  observed  that  it  was  past  noon. 

"  You  are  quite  right,"  said  my  Lord,  "  quite  right.  I  will 
tell  them  to  have  the  horses  ready.  Your  servants  are  gone  on 
before,  I  think  you  said,  Mr.  Mallock  ?  " 


ODDSFISH!  291 

I  told  him  Yes ;  but  I  wondered  why  he  did  not  shout  for  the 
maid,  instead  of  going  out  himself;  but  I  understood  the  rea- 
son when  I  found  presently,  when  we  took  the  road,  that  his 
own  men  kept  a  full  hundred  yards  in  the  rear.  Evidently  he 
had  gone  out  to  tell  them  to  do  so. 

So  soon  as  we  were  clear  of  Amwell,  I  began.  There  was  a 
little  wind,  and  the  weather  was  moist  and  thick,  so  there  was 
no  danger  of  our  being  overheard. 

"  My  Lord,"  I  said,  "  I  am  very  much  puzzled  by  what  I 
have  seen." 

"Eh?  "said  he. 

"  It  was  a  very  mixed  company  just  now,  in  Amwell." 

He  frowned  a  little. 

"  Very  excellent  gentlemen,  all  of  them — "  I  hastened  to 
add.  "  But  I  was  wondering  what  it  was  that  drew  them  all 
together.  I  can  only  think  of  two  things." 

"What  are  they,  Mr.  Mallock?  "  asked  my  Lord  a  little 
eagerly. 

"  Religion  or  politics,  my  Lord,"  I  said.  "  And  I  am  sure 
that  it  is  not  the  first." 

He  appeared  to  reflect;  but  he  was  not  a  very  good  actor; 
and  I  could  see  that  it  was  feigned. 

"  Why  you  are  very  sharp,  sir,"  he  said.  "  You  have  put 
your  finger  on  the  very  place — the  very  place."  (And  he  con- 
tinued with  far  too  short  a  pause) :  "  On  which  side  are  you, 
Mr.  Mallock?  For  the  country  or  for  the  Court?  " 

"  That  is  a  dangerous  question  to  answer,  my  Lord,"  I  said, 
very  short. 

"  It  is  only  dangerous  for  one  side,"  said  he. 

I  nodded,  in  a  grave  and  philosophical  manner.  Then  I 
sighed. 

"  You  are  quite  right,  my  Lord." 

I  could  see  that  he  was  glancing  at  me  continually.  Yet  no 
explanation  of  his  behaviour  yet  crossed  my  mind. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  he  after  a  silence,  "  it  is  no  good 
fencing  about  the  question.  I  can  see  that  you  are  disaf- 
fected." 


ODDSFISH! 

"  That  is  a  very  safe  way  to  put  it,"  I  said.  "  Who  is  not 
— on  one  side  or  the  other  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  he,  "  but  you  are  sharp  enough  to  know  what 
I  mean." 

Again  I  nodded;  but  my  mind  was  working  like  a  mill;  for 
a  new  thought  had  come  to  me  that  seemed  to  illumine  all  the 
rest;  and  yet  I  could  not  understand.  The  thought  was  this. 
Plainly  my  Lord  Essex  knew  a  good  deal  about  me:  he  knew 
enough,  that  is,  to  begin  a  conversation  of  this  kind  with  one 
whom  he  had  only  met  once  before — a  mad  proceeding  alto- 
gether, if  that  were  all  he  knew.  Ergo,  thought  I,  he  must 
know  more  than  that;  and  if  he  knew  more  he  must  know 
that  I  was  in  the  service  of  His  Majesty  and  presumably 
devoted  to  that  service;  probably,  too,  from  the  understanding 
between  himself  and  Rumbald,  he  knew  that  I  had  chosen  on 
previous  occasions  to  masquerade  as  if  I  were  not  a  gentleman. 
Was  he  quite  mad  then?  For  to  talk  like  this  to  one  in  the 
confidence  of  His  Majesty  was  surely  a  crazed  proceeding! 
Yet  my  Lord  Essex  was  not  a  fool. 

Looking  back  upon  the  matter  as  I  write,  it  is  hard  for  me 
to  understand  why  I  did  not  see  through  his  design,  since  I 
saw  so  much  of  it.  Yet  it  was  not  until  London  was  in  sight, 
or  rather  its  lights  against  the  sky,  that  all  fell  into  its  place ; 
and  I  wondered  at  the  simplicity  of  it.  I  think  that  it  was 
the  way  he  talked  to  me — the  manner  in  which  he  skirted  con- 
tinually on  the  fringe  of  treason,  yet  said  nothing  that  I  could 
lay  hold  upon,  and,  above  all,  mentioned  no  names — that  gave 
me  the  clue.  I  fear  I  fell  a  little  silent  as  I  perceived  how 
point  after  point  ratified  the  conclusion  to  which  I  had  come; 
but  I  do  not  think  he  noticed  it;  and,  even  if  he  did,  it  would 
only  encourage  him  the  more.  And  when  I  saw  the  whole, 
as  plain  as  a  map,  my  scruples  left  me  altogether.  I  would 
not  have  betrayed  the  true  confidence  of  this  man,  or  of  any 
other;  that  resolution  still  held  firm;  but  this  was  another 
matter  altogether. 

By  the  time  that  we  reached  Covent  Garden — for  he  rode 
with  me  as  far  as  that — I  think  he  was  satisfied  that  he  had 
caught  me  in  the  way  that  he  wished;  for  he  had  given  me 


ODDSFISH!  293 

the  names  of  one  or  two  places  where  I  could  communicate 
with  him  if  I  desired;  and  was  nearer  actual  treason  in  his 
talk  than  ever  before — though  he  did  not  go  much  beyond  de- 
ploring the  Popish  succession,  and  feigning  that  he  did  not 
know  that  I  was  a  Catholic;  and,  on  my  side,  I  had  feigned 
to  be  greatly  interested  in  all  that  he  had  said,  and  had  let 
him  see,  though  not  too  evidently,  that  it  was  feigning  on  my 
side  too.  We  parted,  outwardly,  the  best  of  friends ;  inwardly 
we  were  at  one  another's  throats. 

So  soon  as  I  had  dismounted — he  having  left  me  in  the 
Strand — and  gone  indoors,  I  came  out  again,  not  fearing,  in- 
deed rather  hoping,  that  he  would  be  watching  for  me,  and, 
in  my  boots  just  as  I  was,  set  out  for  Whitehall. 

Mr.  Chiffinch  was  within,  expecting  me.  Even  he  looked  a 
little  excited;  and  no  wonder.  But  first  I  made  him  answer 
my  questions  before  I  would  say  a  word  beyond  telling  him 
that  his  design  had  prospered. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  said  I  over  my  supper  which  he  had 
brought  for  me  to  his  parlour.  "  Before  I  say  one  more  word, 
you  must  tell  me  three  or  four  things.  The  first  is  this.  How 
did  you  know  that  it  was  in  me  that  my  Lord  Essex  would 
confide?" 

"  That  is  easily  answered,"  said  he.  "  My  men  told  me 
that  my  Lord  was  after  you  everywhere — both  in  your  lodg- 
ings and  here." 

"  Ah !  "  I  said,  "  and  was  there  a  fellow  called  Rumbald, 
with  him?" 

"  You  are  right,"  he  said.     "  How  did  you  know  that  ?  " 

"  Wait,"  I  said.  "  The  next  is,  If  you  could  tell  me  so 
much  in  your  letter,  why  did  you  not  tell  me  the  names  of  the 
persons?  " 

He  smiled. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  from  your  hesitation  I  knew  that 
you  would  refuse  to  do  such  work  as  this.  So  I  intended  to 
catch  you  unawares,  and  to  entangle  you  in  it.  I  knew  that 
you  would  not  refuse  to  go  to  Amwell,  and  behave  there  as  I 
directed,  if  I  said  no  more  than  I  did." 


ODDSFISH! 

"  Well ;  you  would  have  failed/'  I  said. 

"  What!  "  said  he.     "  You  are  still  going  to  refuse?  " 

"  No,"  said  I,  "  I  accept  the  work:  but  it  is  not  what  you 
think  it  is." 

"  Why— what  is  it  then?  " 

"  Wait,"  I  said.  "  The  next  is,  How  did  you  know  that 
they  would  be  at  Amwell  at  that  time  ?  " 

"  Oh!  that  is  easy  enough;  one  of  my  fellows  got  that  out 
of  one  of  Rumbald's  maids — that  a  party  of  six  would  lie  at 
the  Ryehouse  last  night;  and  that  they  would  meet  two  more 
at  dinner  in  Amwell  at  eleven  o'clock  to-day.  Rumbald  has 
been  known  to  us  a  long  while.  But  it  is  the  others  we  are 
waiting  for." 

I  was  silent.  There  were  no  more  questions  I  wished  to 
ask  at  present;  though  there  might  be  others  later. 

"  Well,"  said  the  page,  a  little  eagerly ;  and  his  narrow  face 
looked  very  like  a  fox's,  as  he  spoke.  "  Well ;  and  what  is 
your  news  ?  " 

I  finished  my  stew  and  laid  down  the  spoon. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  said  I,  "  let  me  first  ask  one  more  ques- 
tion. Why  do  you  think  that  my  Lord  Essex  was  after  me 
at  all?  How  did  he  know  of  me?  " 

"  Plainly  from  Rumbald,"  said  he. 

"  And  why  did  he  want  me  ?  " 

He  smiled. 

"Why,  Rumbald  thinks  you  disaffected  towards  the  King; 
and  yet  knows  you  are  in  his  service.  You  would  be  a  very 
great  helper  to  them,  if  you  cared." 

It  was  my  turn  to  smile. 

"  My  Lord  Essex  is  not  a  fool,"  I  said.  "  If  they  know 
so  much  of  me,  would  they  not  know  more  ?  " 

"  Plainly  they  do  not,"  he  said.  "  Or  they  would  not  have 
tried  to  get  you  on  their  side." 

I  laughed  softly. 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  you  are  very  sharp :  but  you  are  not  sharp 
enough." 

Then  I  related  to  him  the  behaviour  of  them  all  in  the  inn; 
and  how  Rumbald  had  shewn  no  surprise  in  seeing  that  I  was 


ODDSFISH! 

a  gentleman  after  all;  and  how  my  Lord  Essex  had  talked  in 
what  would  have  been  the  maddest  manner,  if  his  intention 
had  been  as  Chiffinch  had  thought  it  to  be;  and  with  every 
word  that  I  said  the  page's  face  grew  longer. 

"  Well,"  he  cried,  "  it  is  beyond  me  altogether.  What  then 
is  the  explanation  ?  " 

"  My  friend,"  I  said,  "  you  were  right.  Neither  before  nor 
after  what  has  passed  to-day  would  I  have  done  the  work  you 
designed  for  me — which  was  to  get  these  men's  confidence, 
and  then  betray  it  again.  But  it  is  not  their  idea  to  give  me 
their  confidence  at  all.  So  I  will  work  with  you  very  gladly." 

"  But  then  what  can  you  do "  he  began  in  amazement. 

"  Listen,"  I  said.  "  It  will  fall  out  just  as  I  say.  They 
will  give  me  very  few  names;  they  will  admit  me  to  none  of 
their  real  secrets ;  but  yet  they  will  feign  to  do  so." 

"  But,  what  a'  God's  name " 

"  Oh !  man !  "  I  cried,  "  you  are  surely  slow-witted  to-day. 
They  will  do  all  this — "  (I  leaned  forward  as  I  spoke  for 
further  emphasis) — "  in  order  that  I  may  hand  it  on  to  His 
Majesty;  but  they  will  give  me  no  real  secret  till  the  climax 
is  come,  and  their  designs  perfected.  And  then  they  will 
give  me  a  false  one  altogether.  They  think  that  they  will 
make  me  a  tool  to  further  their  true  plans  by  betraying  false 
ones.  We  may  know  this  for  certain  then — that  whatever 
they  tell  me,  knowing  that  I  will  tell  you,  is  not  what  they 
intend,  but  something  else  altogether.  And  it  will  not  be 
hard  to  know  the  truth,  if  we  are  certified  of  what  is  false." 

There  was  complete  silence  in  the  room  when  I  had  finished, 
except  for  the  wash  of  the  tide  outside  the  windows.  The 
man's  mouth  was  open,  and  his  eyes  set  in  thought.  Then 
sense  came  back  to  his  face;  and  he  smiled  suddenly  and 
widely. 

"  God !  "  he  said,  and  slapped  me  suddenly  on  the  thigh. 
"  Good  God !  you  have  hit  it,  I  believe." 


CHAPTER    VII 

FROM  now  onwards  there  began  for  me  such  a  series  of  com- 
plications that  I  all  but  despair  of  making  clear  even  the 
course  that  they  ran.  My  diaries  are  filled  with  notes  and 
initials  and  dates  which  I  dared  not  at  the  time  set  down  more 
explicitly;  and  my  memory  is  often  confused  between  them. 
For,  indeed,  my  work  in  France  was  but  child's  play  to  this, 
neither  was  there  any  danger  in  France  such  as  was  here. 

For  consider  what,  not  a  double  part  merely,  but  a  triple, 
I  had  to  play.  The  gentlemen,  who  were  beginning  at  this 
time  to  conspire  in  real  earnest  against  the  King  and  the  Con- 
stitution, some  of  whom  afterwards,  such  as  my  Lord  Russell, 
suffered  death  for  it,  and  others  of  whom  like  my  Lord  How- 
ard of  Escrick  escaped  by  turning  King's  evidence — although 
their  guilt  was  very  various — these  gentlemen,  through  my 
Lord  Essex,  had  got  at  me,  as  they  thought,  to  betray  not 
truth  but  falsehood  to  His  Majesty,  and  told  me  matters,  un- 
der promise  of  secrecy,  which  they  intended  me  to  tell  to  the 
King  and  his  advisers.  To  them,  therefore,  I  had  to  feign 
feigning:  I  had  to  feign,  that  is,  that  I  was  feigning  to  keep 
their  confidence,  but  that  in  reality  that  I  was  betraying  it; 
while  to  Mr.  Chiffinch  I  had  to  disclose  these  precious  secrets 
not  as  true  but  as  false,  and  conjecture  with  him  what  was  the 
truth.  (My  evidence,  later,  was  never  called  upon,  nor  did 
my  name  appear  in  any  way,  for  that  the  jury  would  never 
have  understood  it.)  I  had,  therefore,  a  double  danger  to 
guard  against;  first  that  which  came  from  the  conspirators — 
the  fear  that  they  should  discover  I  was  tricking  them,  or 
rather  that  I  had  discovered  their  trickery;  and,  on  the  other 
side,  that  I  should  become  involved  with  them  in  the  fall  that 
was  so  certain  from  the  beginning,  and  be  myself  accused  of 
conspiracy — or  of  misprision  of  treason  at  the  least.  Against 
the  latter  I  guarded  as  well  as  I  could,  by  revealing  to  Mr. 
Chiffinch  every  least  incident  so  soon  as  it  happened;  and  on 

296 


ODDSFISH!  297 

three  occasions  in  the  following  year  having  a  long  discourse 
with  His  Majesty.  But  against  the  former  danger  I  had  only 
my  wits  to  protect  me. 

The  best  thing,  therefore,  that  I  can  do  is  to  relate  a  few 
of  the  events  that  happened  to  me.  (I  have  never,  I  think, 
experienced  such  a  strain  on  my  wits;  for  it  went  on  for  a 
good  deal  more  than  a  year,  since  I  could  for  a  long  time 
arrive  at  no  certain  proofs  of  the  guilt  of  the  conspirators, 
and  His  Majesty  did  not  wish  to  strike  until  their  conviction 
was  assured.) 

The  first  meeting  of  the  conspirators  to  which  I  was  ad- 
mitted was  in  January.  (I  had  not  been  able,  of  course,  to 
go  to  Hare  Street  for  Christmas;  but  the  letters  I  had  now 
and  again  from  Dolly,  greatly  encouraged  and  comforted  me. 
I  had  told  her  that  I  "  was  keeping  to  my  resolution,"  but 
that  "  I  should  be  in  some  peril  for  a  good  while  to  come," 
and  begged  her  to  remember  me  often  in  her  pure  prayers.) 

A  fellow  came  to  my  lodgings  about  the  middle  of  January, 
with  a  letter  from  my  Lord  Essex.  It  ran  as  follows: 

"  SIR, — With  regard  to  some  matters  of  which  we  spoke 
together  on  the  occasion  of  our  very  pleasant  ride  to  town 
last  month,  I  am  very  anxious  to  see  you  again.  Pray  do  not 
write  any  answer  to  this ;  but  if  you  can  meet  me  on  Thursday 
night  at  the  house  of  my  friend  Mr.  West,  in  Creed  Lane,  at 
nine  o'clock,  we  may  have  a  little  conversation  with  some 
other  friends  of  ours.  I  am,  sir,  your  obliged  servant, 

"  ESSEX." 

I  told  the  fellow  that  the  answer  was  Yes.  My  Lord  had 
been  to  see  me  in  Covent  Garden  twice,  but  had  said  very 
little  that  was  at  all  explicit;  but  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  bid  me 
hold  myself  in  readiness,  and  put  aside  all  else  for  the  further 
invitations  that  would  surely  come.  And  so  it  had. 

I  found  the  house  without  difficulty;  and  was  shewn  into  a 
little  parlour  near  the  door;  where  presently  my  Lord  came 
to  me  alone,  all  smiles. 


298  ODDSFISH! 

"  I  am  very  glad  you  are  come,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said. 
"  I  was  sure  that  you  would.  I  have  a  few  friends  here  who 
meet  to  talk  politics ;  and  they  would  greatly  like  to  hear  your 
views  on  the  points.  I  think  I  may  now  venture  to  say  that 
we  know  who  you  are,  Mr.  Mallock,  and  that  you  have  done 
a  good  deal  for  His  Majesty  in  France.  Your  opinion  then 
would  be  of  the  greatest  interest  to  us  all." 

(I  understood  why  he  put  so  much  emphasis  on  France; 
it  was  to  quiet  me  as  to  any  suspicions  they  thought  I  might 
have  as  to  my  being  the  King's  servant  in  England  too.) 

I  answered  him  very  civilly,  smiling  as  if  I  was  at  my  ease ; 
and  after  a  word  or  two  more  he  took  me  in.  It  was  a  long 
low  room,  with  a  beamed  ceiling  and  shuttered  windows,  in 
which  the  men  were  sitting.  There  were  six  of  them  there; 
and  I  knew  two  of  them,  immediately.  He  that  sat  at  the 
head  of  the  table,  a  very  grim-looking  man,  with  pointed  fea- 
tures, in  an  iron-grey  peruke,  was  no  other  than  my  Lord 
Shaftesbury  himself;  and  the  one  on  his  left,  with  a  highish 
colour  in  his  cheeks,  was  my  Lord  Grey.  Of  the  rest  I  knew 
nothing;  but  those  two  were  enough  to  shew  me  that  I  must 
make  no  mistakes.  There  were  candles  on  the  table. 

My  Lord  Essex  smiled  as  he  turned  to  me. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  I  see  you  know  some  of  these 
gentlemen  by  sight." 

"  I  know  my  Lord  Shaftesbury,  and  my  Lord  Grey  by 
sight,"  I  said,  bowing  to  each.  They  each  inclined  a  little  in 
return. 

"  And  this  is  Mr.  West,"  said  my  Lord. 

This  was  a  very  busy-looking  active  little  fellow,  with 
bright  dark  eyes.  (He  had  the  name  of  being  an  atheist,  I 
learned  afterwards.) 

"  Sit  down,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  my  Lord,  pointing  to  a  chair 
on  my  Lord  Shaftesbury's  right.  I  did  so.  There  was  no 
servant  in  the  room.  The  two  other  men  were  presently 
made  known  to  me  as  a  Mr.  Sheppard  and  a  Mr.  Goodenough. 
I  knew  nothing  of  either  of  these  two  at  this  time. 

Now  it  may  seem  that  it  was  extraordinary  bold  of  all  these 
persons  to  admit  me,  believing  as  they  did,  that  I  was  on  His 


ODDSFISH!  299 

Majesty's  side,  and  would  reveal  all  to  him;  and  it  was,  in 
one  way,  bold  of  them;  yet  it  was  the  more  clever.  For,  as 
will  appear,  they  said  nothing  to  me  at  present  that  could  be 
taken  hold  of  in  any  way;  and  yet  they  sent,  or  rather  thought 
they  sent,  to  the  King,  false  news  that  would  help  their  cause. 

When  he  had  discoursed  for  a  little  while  on  general  mat- 
ters, yet  drawing  nearer  ever  to  the  point,  my  Lord  Essex 
opened  the  engagement. 

"  That  Mr.  Rumbald,"  he  said.  "  Do  you  know  who  he 
is,  Mr.  Mallock?" 

"  Why,  he  is  a  maltster,  is  he  not?  "  I  said. 

"  Well :  he  married  a  maltster's  widow,  who  is  dead  now. 
But  he  is  an  honest  old  Cromwellian — loyal  enough  to  His 
Majesty — "  (the  gentlemen  all  solemnly  put  hands  to  their 
hats)— "yet  very  greatly  distressed  at  the  course  things  are 
taking." 

"An  old  soldier?"  I  asked. 

"  Yes :  he  was  a  Colonel  under  Oliver." 

Such  was  the  opening ;  and  after  that  we  talked  more  freely, 
though  not  so  freely  as,  I  doubt  not,  they  had  talked  for  an 
hour  before  I  came.  My  Lord  Shaftesbury  did  not  say  a 
great  deal;  he  had  a  quick  discontented  look;  but  I  think  I 
satisfied  him.  He  was  in  a  very  low  condition  at  this  time — 
all  but  desperate — so  strongly  had  the  tide  set  against  him 
since  my  Lord  Stafford's  death  and  the  reaction  that  followed 
it;  and  I  think  he  would  have  grasped  at  anything  to  further 
his  fortunes:  for  that  was  what  he  chiefly  cared  about.  My 
Lord  Essex  did  most  of  the  talking,  and  Mr.  West;  and  I 
could  see  that  they  were  shewing  me  off,  as  a  new  capture, 
and  one  on  whose  treachery  to  them  their  hopes  might  turn. 

Now  there  were  three  or  four  matters  on  which  they  were 
very  emphatic.  First,  that  no  injury  was  intended  to  the 
King  or  the  Duke  of  York;  but  this  they  did  not  disclaim 
for  themselves  so  much  as  for  the  disaffected  persons  gener- 
ally; as  regards  themselves  they  said  little  or  nothing:  and 
from  this  I  deduced  that  the  King's  life  would  certainly  be 
aimed  at ;  and  the  more  so,  as  they  said  what  a  pity  it  was  that 
His  Majesty's  guards  were  still  doubled. 


300  ODDSFISH! 

"  It  shews  a  lack  of  confidence  in  the  people/*  said  my  Lord 
Essex. 

(From  that,  then,  I  argued  that  an  attempt  was  contem- 
plated upon  Whitehall.) 

The  second  thing  that  Mr.  West  was  very  emphatic  upon 
was  the  need  of  proceeding,  if  any  reform  were  to  be  brought 
about,  in  a  legal  and  Parliamentary  manner. 

"Why  does  not  His  Majesty  call  another  Parliament?  "  he 
added,  "  that  at  least  we  may  air  our  grievances  ?  It  is  true 
enough  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury — "  (here  he  bowed  to  my 
Lord  who  blinked  in  return) — "  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury 
found  Parliament  against  him  in  the  event;  but  he  does  not 
complain  of  that.  He  hath  at  least  been  heard." 

(From  that  I  argued  either  that  they  thought  they  would 
be  stronger  in  a  new  Parliament,  or  that  they  contemplated 
acting  in  quite  another  manner.  I  could  not  tell  for  certain 
which;  but  I  supposed  the  latter.) 

The  third  thing  that  Mr.  Goodenough  said,  relating  how 
he  had  heard  it  from  a  Mr.  Ferguson  of  Bristol,  was  that  the 
West  of  England  was  in  a  very  discontented  condition,  and 
that  His  Majesty  would  do  well  to  send  troops  there. 

Now  I  knew  that  his  statement  was  tolerably  true;  and 
that  therefore  the  false  part  must  be  the  second.  The  only 
conclusion  I  could  draw  was  that  they  wished  troops  to  be 
withdrawn  from  London. 

To  all  these  things,  however,  I  assented  civilly,  arguing  a 
little,  for  form's  sake;  but  not  too  much. 

When  at  last  we  broke  up,  my  Lord  Essex  again  came  with 
me  to  the  door,  and  carried  me  first,  for  an  instant  into  the 
little  parlour. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  we  have  had  a  pleasant  evening, 
have  we  not?  But  I  need  not  tell  you  that  our  talk  had  best 
not  be  repeated.  We  have  said  not  a  word  that  is  disloyal 
to  His  Majesty:  but  even  a  little  fault-finding  is  apt  to  be 
misrepresented  in  these  days." 

I  said  that  I  understood  him  perfectly  (which  indeed  I  did)  ; 
and  nodded  very  sagely. 


ODDSFISH!  301 

"  Let  us  meet  again,  then,  Mr.  Mallock — on  that  under- 
standing. I  have  some  more  friends  I  would  wish  you  to 
meet;  and  whom  I  am  sure  you  could  do  good  to.  There  is  a 
quantity  of  discontent  about." 

I  went  to  see  Mr.  Chiffinch  the  next  day,  and  reported  all 
that  had  passed,  as  they  had  intended  me  to  do.  We  drew  up 
a  little  report  which  was  carried  into  effect:  first,  that  no 
troops  should  be  sent  out  of  London;  but  that  they  should  be 
dispersed  as  much  as  possible  within  the  confines  of  the  City; 
next  that  the  guards  at  the  gates  of  Whitehall  should  be  di- 
minished by  one  half — (this,  to  give  colour  to  the  malcon- 
tents' hope;  and  provoke  them  to  action) — but  the  guards 
within  increased  by  the  same  amount,  yet  kept  out  of  sight 
so  much  as  was  possible;  thirdly,  that  a  rumour  should  be  set 
about  that  the  King  would  call  a  Parliament  within  the  year 
at  latest;  and  this  Mr.  Chiffinch  promised  to  undertake  (for  a 
very  great  effect  indeed  can  be  produced  on  popular  opinion 
by  those  who  know  the  value  of  false  rumours)  ;  but  that  His 
Majesty  should  be  dissuaded  from  doing  anything  of  the  kind. 
Such  then  was  the  result  of  that  first  meeting  to  which  I  was 
admitted;  and  such  more  or  less  was  our  course  of  procedure 
all  through  the  spring  and  summer.  This  I  have  related  in 
full,  to  serve  as  an  example  of  our  method,  because,  since  it 
was  the  first,  I  remember  it  very  distinctly.  In  this  manner 
I  used  the  information  I  gained  for  the  King's  benefit;  and, 
at  the  same  time  the  conspirators  were  led  to  believe  that  I 
was  their  tool,  and  no  more. 

The  next  important  incident  fell  in  the  beginning  of  the 
summer. 

Now,  in  the  meantime  I  had  learned,  from  Mr.  Chiffinch 
for  the  most  part,  though  there  were  some  matters  I  was  able 
rather  to  inform  him  about,  that  there  were  two  separate  and 
distinct  parties  amongst  the  conspirators.  There  were  those 
who  intended  nothing  but  some  kind  of  a  rising — scarcely 
more  than  an  armed  demonstration — and  to  this  party  would 
belong  such  a  man  as  my  Lord  Russell — if  he  were  of  them 


302  ODDSFISH! 

at  all;  and  there  were  those  who  meant  a  great  deal  more  than 
this — who  were  hoping,  in  fact  so  to  excite  their  followers  a 
to  bring  about  the  King's  death.     But  of  these  I   found  i 
very  hard  to  get  any  names — and  quite  impossible,  so  far,  tc 
obtain  any  positive  proof  at  all.     The  Duke  of  Monmouth 
I  knew,  was  of  the  moderate  party;  so,  I  thought  then,  wa 
my  Lord  Grey — but  Mr.  Algernon  Sidney  whom  I  met  one 
or  twice  was  of  the  extreme  side.     But  as  to  my  Lord  Shaftes 
bury,  I  knew  nothing:  he  was  pretty  silent  always;  and  i 
was  with  regard  to  him  most  of  all  that  we  desired  evidence 
It  was  this  division  of  parties,  no  doubt,  that  hindered  any 
action;  the  moderates  were  for  ever  trying  to  drag  back  the 
fanatics;  and  the  fanatics  to  urge  on  the  moderates;  so  that 
nothing  was  done. 

From  my  diaries  I  find  that  I  spoke  with  my  Lord  Essex 
no  less  than  eight  times  between  Christmas  and  July;  I  saw 
my  Lord  Russell  only  once  as  I  shall  relate  presently,  but  die 
not  speak  with  him:  the  rest  I  met  now  and  again,  but  nevei 
all  of  them  together.  It  was  necessary,  no  doubt,  that  they 
should  be  well  drilled  before  they  could  be  trusted  with  me 
Mr.  Rumbald  I  met  about  four  times,  and  my  Lord  Howarc 
but  once.  I  think  all  this  time  they  were  wholly  satisfied  tha 
I  passed  on  to  Mr.  Chiffinch  what  they  told  me,  and  nothing 
else;  for  he  and  I  usually  contrived  to  carry  out  part  at  leas 
of  their  recommendations. 

I  first  began  to  learn  something  of  my  Lord  Russell's  posi 
tion  in  the  matter  in  a  meeting  in  July,  in  the  house  of  the 
Mr.  Sheppard   (whom  I  had  met  at  Mr.  West's),  that  was 
situated  in  Wapping;  and  I  learned  something  else  too  at  th< 
same  time.     My  Lord  Essex  came  for  me  in  his  coach  tha 
day,  and  himself  carried  me  down.     (I  need  not  say  that  on 
these  occasions  I  carried  always  some  pistol  or  other  weapon 
with  me  beside  my  sword,  for  I  never  knew  when  they  might 
not  find  me  out.) 

Mr.  Sheppard's  house  was  in  a  little  street,  that  was  a 
cul-de-sacf  between  the  Garden  Grounds,  which  was  a  great 
open  space,  and  the  Old  Stairs  on  the  river.  It  was  about 
eight  o'clock,  and  was  beginning  to  be  twilight  when  we  came. 


ODDSFISH!  303 

As  we  descended  from  the  coach  I  noticed  at  a  little  dis- 
tance away  a  number  of  fellows,  very  rough  looking,  standing 
together  watching  us;  and  I  perceived  that  they  saluted  my 
Lord  who  returned  the  salute  very  heartily.  I  did  not  much 
like  that.  Who  were  these  folks,  I  wondered,  who  knew  my 
Lord? 

The  house  was  very  ordinary  within;  it  was  flagged  with 
stones  that  had  some  kind  of  matting  upon  them:  the  entrance 
was  all  panelled;  and,  what  surprised  me  was  that  no  servant 
was  to  be  seen.  Mr.  Sheppard  himself  opened  the  door  to  us 
when  we  knocked. 

We  did  not  speak  at  all  as  we  came  in;  and  my  Lord  led 
me  straight  through  into  the  parlour  on  the  left  that  was  full 
of  tobacco-smoke.  This  was  a  very  good  room,  hung  all 
round  with  tapestry,  though  of  a  poorish  quality,  and,  though 
it  was  not  yet  dark,  the  windows  were  shuttered  and  barred. 
At  the  table  sat  half  a  dozen  persons,  of  whom  I  knew  my 
Lord  Shaftesbury  at  the  head  of  the  table  as  usual,  and  Mr. 
Goodenough  that  sat  with  his  back  to  the  hearth.  ,  Between 
these  two  sat  a  gentleman  whom  I  knew  to  be  my  Lord  How- 
ard of  Escrick,  though  I  had  never  spoken  with  him.  He 
carried  himself  with  a  very  high  air,  and  was  the  only  man 
there  dressed  as  if  he  were  still  in  Westminster;  the  rest  were 
subdued,  somewhat,  in  their  appearance.  My  Lord  Howard 
looked  at  me  with  an  intolerant  kind  of  disdain,  which  my 
Lord  Essex  made  haste  to  cover  by  directing  me  to  my 
place. 

I  thought  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  seemed  very  heavy 
this  evening.  He  treated  me  with  a  silent  kind  of  civility; 
and  so,  too,  did  he  treat  the  rest.  His  eyes  wandered  away 
sometimes  as  we  talked,  as  if  he  were  thinking  of  something 
else.  We  spoke  of  nothing  of  any  importance  for  a  time,  for 
Mr.  Sheppard  was  bringing  in  wine  with  his  own  hands, 
though  I  saw  a  number  of  used  glasses  on  the  press  which 
shewed  me  that  the  company  had  been  here  some  time  already. 

It  would  be  not  until  after  ten  or  twelve  minutes  that  Mr. 
Sheppard  was  deputed  to  open  the  affair  on  account  of  which 
I  had  been  sent  for* 


304  ODDSFISH! 

"  Now  then,,  Sheppard,"  said  my  Lord  Essex  who  sat  on 
my  right,  "  tell  us  the  news/' 

Mr.  Sheppard  pushed  his  glass  forward  and  leaned  his  el- 
bows on  the  table.  I  could  see  that  all  that  he  said  was  di- 
rected principally  at  me. 

"  Well,  my  lords/'  he  said,  "  I  have  very  good  news.  You 
remember  how  I  told  you  that  I  was  beginning  to  fear  for  the 
people  down  here — that  they  would  be  provoked  soon  into 
some  kind  of  a  rising.  They  are  still  not  wholly  pacified — 
(here  he  shot  a  look  at  me,  which  he  should  not  have  done) — 
"  but  I  am  doing  my  best  to  tell  them  that  we  have  very  good 
hopes  indeed  that  His  Majesty  will  be  persuaded  to  call  a  Par- 
liament ;  and  I  think  they  are  beginning  to  believe  me.  I  think 
we  may  say  that  the  danger  is  past." 

"Why;  what  danger  is  that,  Mr.  Sheppard?  "  said  I,  very 
innocently. 

"  Why— a  rising!  "  he  said.     "  Has  not  my  Lord  Essex  told 

you?" 

"Ah!  yes!"  said  I,  "I  had  forgot."  (This  was  wholly 
false.  He  had  told  me  once  or  twice  at  least  that  there  was 
danger  of  this.  This  had  been  a  month  ago;  and  his  object 
had  been  to  persuade  me  that  they  had  been  telling  the  truth.) 

"  I  saw  some  fellows  as  we  came  in,"  I  said. 

"  Those  are  the  malcontents,"  he  said.  "  There  are  not  more 
than  a  very  few  now,  who  go  about  and  brag." 

I  assented. 

"  By  the  way,"  said  my  Lord  Essex  to  Shaftesbury  who 
looked  at  him  heavily,  "  I  spoke  with  my  Lord  Russell  a  week 
ago.  You  know  my  Lord  Russell,  Mr.  Mallock  ?  " 

I  said  that  I  did  not. 

"  Well;  I  had  hoped  he  would  have  been  here  to-night.  But 
he  is  gone  down  to  the  country — to  Stratton — where  he  has 
his  seat." 

He  talked  a  while  longer  of  my  Lord  Russell;  and  I  saw 
that  he  wished  me  to  believe  that  my  Lord  was  of  their  party: 
whence  I  argued  to  myself  that  was  just  what  he  was  not; 
but  that  they  wished  to  win  him  over  for  the  sake  of  his  name, 


ODDSFISH!  305 

perhaps,  and  his  known  probity.  (And,  as  the  event  shewed, 
I  was  right  in  that  conjecture.) 

Two  or  three  of  them  were  still  talking  together  in  this 
strain,  and  while  I  listened  enough  to  tell  me  that  it  was  noth- 
ing very  important  that  they  said,  I  was  observing  my  Lord 
Shaftesbury:  and,  upon  my  heart!  I  was  sorry  for  the  man. 
Three  years  ago  he  was  in  the  front  of  the  rising  tide,  in  the 
full  blast  of  popularity  and  power;  he  had  so  worked  upon 
the  old  Popish  Plot  and  the  mob,  that  he  had  all  the  move- 
ment with  him:  His  Majesty  himself  was  afraid  of  him,  and 
was  forced  to  follow  his  leading.  Now  he  was  fallen  from 
all  this;  the  Court-party  had  triumphed  because  he  had  so 
overshot  his  mark,  and  here  was  he,  in  this  poor  quarter,  in 
the  house  of  a  man  that  would  have  been  nothing  to  him  five 
years  ago,  forced  to  this  very  poor  kind  of  conspiring  for  his 
last  hopes.  He  sat  as  if  he  knew  all  this  himself:  his  eyes 
strayed  about  him  as  we  talked,  and  there  were  heavy  pouches 
beneath  them,  and  deep  lines  at  the  corner  of  his  nose  and 
mouth.  It  was  this  man,  thought  I,  who  was  so  largely  re- 
sponsible for  the  death  of  so  many  innocents — and  all  for  his 
own  ambition! 

Presently  I  heard  His  Grace  of  Monmouth  spoken  of.  It 
was  Mr.  Sheppard  who  spoke  the  name;  and  in  an  instant  I 
was  on  the  alert  again.  What  he  said  fell  very  pat  with  what 
I  was  thinking  of  my  Lord  Shaftesbury. 

"  I  declare,"  cried  Mr.  Sheppard,  once  more  talking  at  me 
very  evidently,  "  that  His  Grace  of  Monmouth  breaks  my  heart. 
I  was  with  his  Grace  a  fortnight  ago.  His  loyalty  and  love 
for  the  King  are  overpowering.  I  had  heard  " — (this  was  a 
very  bold  stroke  of  poor  Mr.  Sheppard) — "  I  had  heard  that 
some  villainous  fellows  had  proposed  to  His  Grace — oh!  a 
great  while  ago,  in  April,  I  think — that  an  assault  should  be 
made  upon  the  King;  and  that  His  Grace  near  killed  one  of 
them  for  it.  Yet  His  Majesty  will  scarce  speak  to  him,  so 
much  he  distrusts  him." 

This  was  all  very  pretty:  and  from  it  I  argued  that  the 
Duke  was  deeper  in  the  affair  than  we  had  thought,  and  per- 


306  ODDSFISH! 

haps  belonged  even  to  the  extremest  party,  led,  we  supposed, 
chiefly  by  Mr.  Sidney.  But  I  murmured  that  it  was  a  shame 
that  His  Majesty  treated  him  so;  and  while  I  was  listening 
to  further  eulogies  on  His  Grace,  a  new  thought  came  to  me 
which  I  determined  to  put  into  execution  that  very  night;  for 
I  felt  we  were  not  making  any  progress. 

There  was  not  much  more  conversation  of  any  significance, 
and  I  was  soon  able  to  carry  out  what  I  determined;  for  my 
Lord  Essex  when  we  broke  about  half-past  nine  o'clock,  again 
offered  to  take  me  home. 

I  said  good-night  very  respectfully  to  the  company;  and 
followed  him  into  the  coach. 

For  a  while  I  said  nothing,  but  appeared  preoccupied;  so 
that  at  last  my  Lord  clapped  me  on  the  knee  and  asked  me  if 
I  ailed — which  was  what  I  wished  him  to  do. 

"  My  Lord,"  said  I,  with  an  appearance  of  great  openness, 
"  I  have  a  confession  to  make/' 

"  Well?  "  said  he.     "  What  is  it?  " 

"  I  am  disappointed/'  I  said.  "  There  is  a  deal  of  talk ; 
and  most  interesting  talk;  and  all  very  loyal  and  respectful. 
But  I  had  fancied  there  was  more  behind." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  "  asked  he. 

"Well:"  I  said.  "If  His  Grace  of  Monmouth  will  do 
nothing,  will  none  of  his  friends  do  it  for  him  ?  " 

"  Of  what  nature?"  asked  my  Lord. 

"  My  Lord,"  said  I,  "  need  I  say  more?  " 

He  was  silent  for  a  while;  and  I  could  see  how  his  mind 
was  a  trifle  bewildered.  But  he  did  presently  exactly  what  I 
hoped  he  would  do. 

"Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "you  are  right:  there  is  more  be- 
hind. And  I  promise  you  you  shall  hear  of  it  when  the  time 
comes.  Is  that  enough?" 

"  That  is  enough,  my  Lord,"  said  I.     "  I  am  content." 

I  was  with  Mr.  Chiffinch  before  the  gates  were  shut  for  the 
night;  and  this  was  the  report  I  gave  him. 

"  I  have  learned  three  things  at  least,"  I  said,  when  he  had 
bolted  the  door,  and  drawn  the  hanging  across  it.  "  First 


ODDSFISH!  307 

that  they  are  contemplating  a  rising  as  soon  as  they  can  get 
their  men  together;  and  that  it  will  be  from  Wapping  and 
thereabouts  that  the  insurrectionists  will  come.  Next  that  His 
Grace  of  Monmouth  is  more  deeply  involved  than  we  had 
thought.  And  the  third  thing  is,  that  I  have  persuaded  my 
Lord  Essex  that  I  can  be  trusted  to  be  a  good  traitor,  and  to 
report  everything;  but  that  if  they  do  not  commit  more  im- 
portant falsehoods  to  me,  I  shall  lose  heart  with  them.  We 
may  expect  then  that  after  a  little  while  I  shall  have  more 
vital  and  significant  lies  told  me,  whence  we  can  arrive  at  the 
truth." 

"  Is  that  everything?  "  said  he. 

"  Ah !  there  is  one  thing  more.  They  are  trying  to  entangle 
my  Lord  Russell;  and  they  think  that  they  will  succeed,  and 
so  do  I ;  but  at  present  he  will  not  be  caught." 


CHAPTER    VIII 

WE  are  drawing  nearer  now  to  the  heart  of  the  conspiracy 
that  was  forming  little  by  little,  as  an  abscess  forms  in  the 
body  of  a  sick  man.  For  two  months  more  no  great 
move  was  made.  I  was  summoned  now  and  again  to  such 
meetings  as  those  which  I  have  described:  and  sometimes  one 
man  was  there  and  sometimes  another.  They  were  becoming 
less  cautious  with  me  in  this — since  I  had  by  now  the  names 
of  nearly  all  the  Londoners  involved:  and  Mr.  Chiffinch  had 
the  names  of  the  principal  men  in  Scotland  and  the  provinces, 
especially  in  the  West,  with  whom  they  were  concerting.  They 
still  fed  me  with  lies  from  time  to  time,  in  small  points;  and 
I  gained  a  little  knowledge  from  these  as  to  what  they  wished 
me  to  believe,  and  hence  as  to  what  was  indeed  the  truth. 

It  was  in  October  that  the  next  meeting  of  importance 
took  place — the  next,  that  is  to  say,  to  which  I  myself  was  ad- 
mitted :  and  it  was  again  in  Mr.  Sheppard's  house  in  Wapping. 
There  were  gathered  there,  for  the  first  time  mostly  all  the 
principal  gentlemen  in  the  affair;  and  this  was  one  more  sign 
of  how  reckless  they  were  becoming  that  I  was  admitted  there 
at  all.  But  I  think  it  was  because  Mr.  Chiffinch  and  I  had 
been  very  discreet  and  careful  that  they  thought  that  they  had 
me  in  hand,  and  that  I  was  somewhat  of  an  innocent  fool,  and 
revealed  no  more  than  what  they  wished. 

Before  I  went  there — for  I  went  by  water  this  time,  in  a 
private  wherry,  to  Wapping  Old  Stairs,  I  went  first  to  Mr. 
Chiffinch  to  see  if  there  were  any  news  for  me. 

"  Why,  yes/'  he  said,  when  he  had  me  alone,  "  there  is  a 
little  matter  I  would  like  you  to  find  out  about.  The  Duke  of 
Monmouth  was  here  with  my  Lord  Grey,  a  day  or  two  ago: 
they  all  dined  with  Sir  Thomas  Armstrong:  and  all  three  of 
them  went  round  the  posts  and  the  guardroom,  and  saw  every- 
thing. Now  what  was  that  for?  " 

308 


ODDSFISH!  309 

"  Sir  Thomas  Armstrong?  "  said  I  in  astonishment.  "  Why 
he  is " 

I  was  about  to  say  he  was  one  of  His  Majesty's  closest 
friends  and  evil  geniuses;  but  I  stopped.  There  was  no  need. 

The  page  smiled. 

"Yes/'  he  said.  "Well;  Mr.  Mallock?  If  you  can  find 
out  anything " 

"And  the  Duke  too!  "  I  said.  "Well;  I  was  right,  was  I 
not?  "  (For  what  I  had  found  out  was  true  enough — that  His 
Grace  was  far  more  deeply  involved  than  we  had  at  first  sus- 
pected. We  had  known  that  he  was  their  protege,  but  not 
that  he  was  so  much  in  their  counsel,  and  of  one  mind  with 
them.) 

"  His  Grace  will  come  to  some  disaster,  I  think,"  said  Mr. 
Chiffinch  very  tranquilly. 

When  I  came  to  Wapping  Old  Stairs  it  appeared  that  the 
watermen  there  knew  well  enough  what  was  forward;  for 
while  one  ran  down  to  help  me  from  the  wherry,  a  number  of 
others  stood  watching  as  if  they  knew  what  I  had  come  for; 
and  all  saluted  me  as  I  went  up.  At  the  head  of  the  stairs, 
I  looked  back,  and  two  more  wherries  with  a  gentleman  in 
each  were  just  coming  in. 

Mr.  Sheppard  himself  opened  the  door  to  me,  and  appeared 
a  little  confused,  looking  over  his  shoulder  into  the  entrance- 
hall  where  two  or  three  gentlemen  were  just  going  into  the 
great  parlour  on  the  left.  I  could  have  sworn  that  one  of 
them  was  the  Duke,  from  the  way  he  carried  himself.  With 
him  was  another  whom  I  thought  I  knew,  but  he  was  not  fa- 
miliar to  me.  I  appeared  to  notice  nothing,  but  beat  off  the 
mud  from  my  boots. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  Mr.  Sheppard,  "  they  are  not  yet  all 
come;  and  two  or  three  who  are  here  have  a  little  private  busi- 
ness on  another  matter  first.  Will  you  wait  a  little  in  another 
room?" 

I  assented  immediately;  and  he  took  me  through  the  hall 
into  another  little  parlour  behind  that  in  which  the  company 
was  assembled. 


310  ODDSFISH! 

"  It  will  not  be  more  than  ten  minutes/'  he  said.  "  I  will 
come  for  you  myself  when  they  are  done." 

When  he  was  gone  again  I  observed  the  room.  It  had  but 
one  window,  which  was  shuttered;  but  it  had  two  doors — the 
one  by  which  I  was  come  in,  and  another,  beyond  the  hearth, 
leading  to  the  great  parlour.  This  door  was  closed. 

Now  it  was  of  the  greatest  importance  that  I  should  hear 
what  was  passing  in  the  next  room.  I  should  learn  more  in 
five  words  spoken  there  then,  than  in  five  hours  when  they 
were  playing  a  part  to  me;  and  I  had  no  scruple  whatever, 
considering  what  they  were  at,  and  how  they  were  using  me, 
in  learning  by  any  means  that  were  in  my  power  what  I  wished 
to  know.  Even  from  where  I  stood  I  could  hear  the  murmur 
of  talk;  and  it  was  probable,  it  seemed  to  me,  that  if  I  laid 
my  ear  on  the  panel  of  the  door  I  should  hear  every  word  of 
it.  But  first  I  pulled  out  a  chair  and  set  it  by  the  table,  with 
my  hat  and  cane  beside  it.  Then  I  went  to  the  door  into  the 
hall,  which  opened,  fortunately,  with  its  hinge  nearer  to  the 
hearth — (so  that  a  man  entering  would  not  see  immediately 
into  that  part  of  the  room  in  which  I  should  be) — and  beneath 
the  door  I  slipped  a  little  sliver  of  wood  from  the  wood-basket 
by  the  hearth,  so  that  the  door  would  stick  a  little.  Having 
done  that  I  went  on  tip-toe  to  the  other  door  and  put  my  ear 
to  the  panel.  But  I  feared  they  would  not  say  anything  very 
significant,  with  me  so  close. 

Now  it  was  a  little  while  before  I  could  distinguish  which 
voice  belonged  to  what  man.  I  got  the  Duke's  at  once;  there 
was  a  lordly  kind  of  ring  in  it  that  could  never  be  forgotten; 
and  I  got  presently  my  Lord  Grey's  voice;  and  then  one  with 
a  drawl  in  it  which  I  had  never  heard  before;  and  then  one 
that  had  no  special  characteristic,  but  was  a  little  slow.  These 
were  the  four  whom  I  heard  speak,  besides  Mr.  Sheppard  once. 
The  conversation  I  heard  was  somewhat  as  follows.  I  set  it 
all  down  on  my  way  home. 

The  Duke  said :  "  I  am  very  pleased  indeed  that  you  are 
come  after  all,  my  Lord.  We  understand  by  that  you  have 
put  aside  all  suspicions;  and  that  is  an  encouragement." 

The  slow  voice  said :     "  I  would  do  anything  in  my  power, 


ODDSFISH!  311 

your  Grace,  which  was  not  against  my  conscience,  to  help  on 
that  cause  of  which  you  have  spoken;  but  I  must  confess " 

My  Lord  Grey  said,  sharply :  "  There,  there !  we  under- 
stand, and  are  very  glad  of  it.  The  thing  can  be  arranged 
without  any  treason  at  all,  or  any  injury  to  a  soul.  It  is 
merely  a  demonstration — no  more,  upon  my  honour." 

The  drawling  voice  said :  "  No  more  will  be  needed.  His 
Grace  and  we  two  went  round  everywhere.  They  are  not  like 
soldiers  at  all;  they  are  remiss  in  everything." 

The  Duke  said:  "  You  see,  my  Lord,  it  is  exactly  as  I  said. 
God  knows  we  would  not  injure  a  soul.  I  well  know  your 
Lordship's  high  principles." 

The  slow  voice  said :  "  Well,  your  Grace,  so  long  as  tEat 
is  understood — I  shall  be  very  happy  to  hear  what  the  design 
may  be." 

Mr.  Sheppard  said :  "  One  instant,  my  Lord — "  Then  he 
dropped  his  voice;  and  I  saw  what  he  was  at.  I  slipped  back 
as  quick  as  I  could;  drew  out  the  sliver  of  wood  from  beneath 
the  other  door,  and  sat  down.  Then  I  heard  his  footstep  out- 
side. 

When  he  came  in,  I  was  in  the  chair ;  but  I  rose. 

"  I  beg  pardon  for  keeping  you,  sir,"  he  said:  "  there  is  just 
that  trifle  of  business,  and  no  more.  I  am  come  to  keep  you 
company." 

Well;  I  resigned  myself  to  it  with  a  good  air;  and  we  sat 
and  talked  there  of  indifferent  matters,  or  very  nearly,  for  at 
least  half  an  hour  longer.  It  was  highly  provoking  to  me,  but 
it  could  not  be  helped — that  I  should  sit  there  with  an  affair 
of  real  importance  proceeding  in  the  next  room,  and  I  placed 
so  favourably  for  the  hearing  of  it.  However  I  had  gained 
something,  though  at  present  I  did  not  know  how  much. 

Suddenly  Mr.  Sheppard  stood  up;  and  I  heard  a  door  open 
and  voices  in  the  entrance  hall. 

"  You  will  excuse  me,  sir,  an  instant,"  he  said.  "  I  must 
see  these  gentlemen  out." 

I  bowed  to  him  as  I  stood  up  and  put  myself  in  such  a  posi- 
tion that  I  could  get  a  good  look  into  the  hall  as  he  went  out; 
and  fortune  favoured  me,  for  there  in  the  light  of  the  pair  of 


312  ODDSFISH! 

candles  outside  I  caught  a  plain  sight  of  the  plump  and  rather 
solemn  face  of  my  Lord  Russell.  It  was  only  for  an  instant; 
but  that  was  enough;  and  at  the  same  time  I  heard  the  drawl- 
ing voice  of  someone  out  of  sight,  bidding  good-night  to  others 
within  the  parlour.  Then  Mr.  Sheppard  shut  the  door  be- 
hind him,  and  I  sat  down  again. 

Well;  I  had  gained  something;  and  I  was  beginning  to  re- 
peat to  myself  what  I  had  heard,  for  that  is  the  best  way  of  al 
to  imprint  it  on  the  memory;  when  Mr.  Sheppard  came  in 
again  and  invited  me  to  follow  him. 

"Who  was  that  that  spoke ?"  I  said  carelessly,  "as  you 
went  out  just  now?  J  can  swear  I  know  the  voice." 

He  glanced  sharply  at  me. 

"  That?  "  he  said.  "  Oh!  that  must  have  been  Sir  Thomas 
Armstrong  who  is  just  gone  out." 

The  parlour  had  no  more  than  five  men  in  it  when  we  en- 
tered; and  one  seemed  about  to  take  his  leave.  That  one  was 
His  Grace  of  Monmouth.  I  was  a  little  astonished  that  they 
let  me  see  him  there,  though  I  understood  presently  why  it 
was  so.  He  turned  to  me  very  friendly,  while  I  was  observ- 
ing the  two  others  I  did  not  know — one  of  whom,  Mr.  Fergu- 
son, was  dressed  as  a  minister. 

"  Why,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  you  come  as  I  go !  " 

He  recognized  me  a  shade  too  swiftly.  That  shewed  me 
that  they  had  been  speaking  of  me  to  him. 

I  said  something  civil;  and  then  I  saw  that  he  was  to  say 
the  piece  they  had  just  taught  him;  for  that  he  was  not  sharp 
enough  to  be  trusted  long  in  the  room  with  me. 

"  I  hear  you  are  all  consulting,"  said  he,  "  how  to  keep  the 
peace.  Well;  I  have  given  my  counsel:  and  my  Lord  Essex 
here  knows  what  I  wish.  I  would  I  could  stay,  gentlemen; 
but  that  cannot  be  done." 

There  was  a  loyal  and  grateful  murmur  from  the  others. 
Indeed  he  looked  a  prince,  every  inch  of  him.  He  took  his 
leave  with  a  superb  courtesy,  giving  his  hand  to  each;  and 
each  bowed  over  it  very  low.  I  was  not  sure  but  that  Mr. 
Sheppard  did  not  kiss  it.  For  myself,  I  kissed  it  outright. 


ODDSFISH!  313 

While  I  did  so,  I  could  have  sworn  that  Mr.  Sheppard  said 
something  very  swiftly  in  the  ear  of  my  Lord  Essex. 

Now  I  was  wondering  why  they  had  kept  me  from  my  Lord 
Russell.  His  probity  was  known  well  enough;  and  if  they 
had  wished  to  reassure  me  they  could  have  done  no  better  than 
tell  me  he  was  one  of  them ;  and  then,  of  a  sudden  I  recollected 
that  to  reassure  me  was  the  very  last  thing  they  wished;  on 
the  contrary,  they  wished  to  hold  me  tight,  betraying  only 
what  they  wished  me  to  betray,  until  they  were  ready  for  their 
final  stroke.  And,  just  as  I  had  arrived  at  that,  when  we 
were  all  sat  down,  my  Lord  Essex  again  dumfoundered  me. 

"  Mr.  Mallock/'  he  said,  "  I  wish  to  tell  you,  now  we  are  in 
private,  that  my  Lord  Russell  has  been  here,  as  well  as  His 
Grace  and  Sir  Thomas  Armstrong.  You  can  tell  from  the 
presence  of  those  three  what  our  chief  difficulty  will  be;  for 
not  one  of  them  will  hear  of  even  the  danger  of  any  injury  to 
His  Majesty  or  the  Duke  of  York.  His  Grace  of  Monmouth, 
of  course,  had  to  be  consulted  on  one  or  two  points;  and  he 
brought  those  other  two  with  him  to  hear  what  we  had  to  say. 
Well;  I  think  we  have  satisfied  them;  though  I  fear,  later, 
that  they  will  not  approve  of  our  methods.  But  we  did  not  wish 
my  Lord  Russell  to  see  you  until  we  had  done  talking  to  him ; 
for  fear  that  he  might  know  something  of  your  disaffection. 
We  have  satisfied  him — and,  what  is  more  important — His 
Grace  too,  for  the  present;  and  they  will  not  interfere  with  us." 

Now  this  speech  was  an  exceedingly  ingenious  one.  Before 
he  had  done  speaking  I  understood  that  Mr.  Sheppard  had 
suspected  that  I  had  seen  my  Lord  Russell,  and  that  that  was 
why  they  were  so  open  with  me.  But  the  rest  of  the  speech 
was  very  shrewd  indeed;  and  I  think  it  might  have  deceived 
me,  if  I  had  not  learned  by  the  conversation  that  it  was  His 
Grace  who  was  trying  to  reassure  my  Lord,  and  no  one  that 
was  trying  to  reassure  His  Grace.  But  the  web  was  so  well 
woven  that  for  the  moment  I  could  not  see  through  it  all; 
though  I  understood  it  all  presently,  when  I  had  had  a  little 
time  to  think.  For  the  instant,  however,  I  saw  one  safe  an- 
swer that  I  could  make. 

"  I  am  obliged  to  your  Lordship  for  telling  me/'  I  said, 


ODDSFISH! 

"  and  I  trust  from  what  you  have  said  that  it  is  but  a  pre- 
liminary to  a  little  more  information.  Your  Lordship  told 
me  in  July  that  there  would  be  more  news  for  me  presently." 

He  could  not  resist  a  glance  at  my  Lord  Grey — as  if  in  tri- 
umph at  his  success. 

"  That  is  what  we  are  met  for/'  he  said;  and  then — "  Why, 
Mr.  Mallock,  I  have  not  made  these  other  gentlemen  known  to 

you." 

They  turned  out  to  be — on  the  right  of  my  Lord,  the  minis- 
ter, Mr.  Ferguson — he  who  had  been  spoken  of  before  as  an 
informant  from  Bristol;  and  a  Colonel  Rumsey — an  old  Crom- 
wellian  like  the  maltster  of  Hoddesdon — who  sat  next  to  Mr. 
Ferguson.  We  saluted  one  another ;  and  then  the  affair  began. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  my  Lord,  "  the  first  piece  of  news  is 
a  little  disappointing.  It  is  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  is  ill. 
It  is  not  at  all  grave;  but  he  is  confined  to  his  bed;  and  that 
throws  back  some  of  our  designs." 

(I  made  a  proper  answer  of  regret;  and  considered  what 
was  likely  to  be  the  truth.  At  the  moment  I  could  not  see 
what  this  would  be.) 

"  The  next  piece  of  news  I  have,  gentlemen,"  went  on  my 
Lord — (for  I  think  he  thought  he  appeared  to  be  speaking  too 
much  at  me) — "  is  that  owing  to  my  Lord  Shaftesbury's  illness 
we  must  relinquish  all  thoughts  of  any  demonstration  in  Lon- 
don. That,  Mr.  Mallock,  was  what  we  had  hoped  to  be  able 
to  do  in  a  week  or  two  from  now.  Well;  that  is  impossible. 
For  the  rest,  Mr.  Ferguson  had  better  tell  us." 

This  gentleman  I  took  to  be  somewhat  of  an  ass  by  his  ap- 
pearance and  manner ;  but  I  am  not  sure  he  was  not  the  clever- 
est liar  of  them  all.  He  spoke  with  a  strong  Scotch  accent, 
and  an  appearance  of  shy  sheepiness,  and  therefore  with  an 
air  too  of  extraordinary  truth.  He  spoke,  too,  at  great  length, 
as  if  he  were  in  his  pulpit;  and  my  Lord  Essex  yawned  behind 
his  hand  once  or  twice. 

Briefly  put — Mr.  Ferguson's  report  was  as  follows: 

The  discontent  in  the  West  was  rising  to  a  climax;  and  if 
a  much  longer  delay  were  made,  real  danger  might  follow. 
It  was  sadly  disconcerting,  therefore,  to  him  to  hear  that  there 


ODDSFISH!  315 

was  any  hitch  in  the  London  designs:  for  the  promise  that  he 
had  given  to  some  of  the  leaders  in  the  West  (whose  names, 
he  said,  with  an  appearance  of  a  stupid  boorish  kind  of  cun- 
ning, "  had  best  not  be  said  even  here  ")  was  that  a  demonstra- 
tion should  be  made  simultaneously  both  here,  in  the  West, 
and  in  Scot 

Here  he  interrupted  himself  sharply;  and  I  saw  that  he  had 
made  a  blunder.  But  he  covered  it  so  admirably,  that  if  I 
had  not  previously  known  that  discontent  was  seething  among 
the  Covenanters,  I  am  sure  I  should  have  suspected  nothing. 

"  In  Scotland,"  said  he,  "  we  must  look  for  nothing.  They 
are  for  ever  promising  and  not  performing — though  I  say  it 
of  my  own  countrymen.  Any  demonstration  there  would  surely 
be  a  failure." 

It  was  admirably  done;  and  it  was  then  that  I  perceived 
what  an  actor  the  man  was. 

Well;  when  he  had  done,  we  talked  over  it  a  while.  I  pro- 
fessed myself  very  well  satisfied  with  what  I  had  heard;  and 
I  put  forward  an  opinion  that  it  would  be  far  better  to  delay 
no  longer  in  the  West.  A  demonstration  there  might  lead  to 
alarm  here;  troops  might  be  withdrawn  here,  and  relieve  the 
pressure,  and  thus  make  possible  a  further  demonstration  in 
London.  I  spoke,  I  think,  with  some  eloquence,  remember- 
ing however  that  they  all  looked  on  me  with  the  same  con- 
fidence that  I  had  in  them — and  no  more:  that  is,  that  they 
believed  me  a  liar.  My  observations  were  received  with  ap- 
plause, very  well  delivered. 

It  was  growing  pretty  late  by  the  time  we  had  done;  yet 
before  we  went  I  had  learned  one  more  piece  of  news,  partly 
through  a  little  trap  I  laid,  and  partly  through  my  Lord  Es- 
sex's clumsiness. 

"  Well,"  said  I,  "  I  must  be  getting  homewards,  my  Lords. 
I  wish  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  had  been  here.  Could  I  see  his 
Lordship,  do  you  think? — if  I  were  to  call  at  his  town  house? 
There  is  a  very  particular  matter " 

My  Lord  Essex  started  a  little.     He  was  tired  and  over- 


316  ODDSFISH! 

anxious,  I  think,  with  the  continual  part  that  he  had  to  play 
before  me ;  yet  it  was  the  first  slip  he  made. 

"  My  Lord  is  out  of  town — "  he  said.  Then  he  paused. 
"  You  could  not  tell  us,  I  suppose " 

I  affected  indifference.  (Was  my  Lord  out  of  town,  I  won- 
dered?) 

"Why;  it  is  nothing/'  I  said. 

My  Lord  exchanged  a  look  with  Mr.  Sheppard ;  and  made  his 
second  mistake. 

"  I  saw  my  Lord  only — last  week,"  he  said  suddenly.  "  He 
wishes  his  address  to  be  private  for  the  present;  but- 

"  Do  not  trouble  yourself,  my  Lord,"  I  said.  "  I  assure  you 
it  has  nothing  to  do  with  our  business  here." 

I  repeated  this,  I  think,  with  a  good  enough  manner  to  per- 
suade them  that  what  I  said  was  true;  and  presently  after- 
wards took  my  leave. 

As  I  sat  in  the  wherry  that  took  me  back  to  the  Privy  Stairs 
— (I  had  announced  of  course,  "  to  the  Temple  ") — I  was  pre- 
paring in  my  mind  what  I  should  say.     I  had  learned  a  con 
siderable  amount  for  an  evening;  for  the  conversation  I  ha( 
overheard,  added  to  what  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  told  me,  added  tc 
what  they  had  all  said  in  the  parlour,  interpreted  and  fittec 
together,  was  pretty  significant. 

These  were  the  points  I  arranged. 

First,  that  the  visit  of  the  Duke,  my  Lord  Grey  and  Si 
Thomas  Armstrong  to  Whitehall  was  to  see  in  what  state  th 
guards  were  in  case  of  a  surprise ;  and  the  conclusion  they  hat 
arrived  at  was  they  "  were  not  like  soldiers  at  all "  but  "  ver 
remiss.'* 

Second,  that  a  "  demonstration  "  in  London  was  very  immi 
nent. 

Third,  that  they  had  won  over  my  Lord  Russell  enough 
least  to  gain  the  help  that  his  name  would  give. 

Fourth,  I  was  confirmed  in  what  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  told  m 
as  to  the  probability  of  a  rising  in  Scotland. 

Fifth,  I  was  confirmed  in  my  view  that  the  Duke  was  very 
deeply  involved. 


ODDSFISH!  317 

Sixth,  it  appeared  to  me  exceedingly  probable  that  my  Lord 
Shaftesbury  was  still  in  town,  though  not  in  his  own  house: 
and,  all  things  considered,  it  was  very  nearly  certain  that  he 
was  hidden  in  Wapping.  He  was,  probably  also,  a  little  ill, 
or  he  would  have  been  at  our  meeting  to-night. 

One  conclusion  then,  immediate  and  pressing,  came  out  of  all 
this ;  that  an  assault  on  Whitehall  and  an  attack  on  the  King's 
person  was  in  urgent  contemplation. 

Then,  as  we  went  up  under  the  stars,  my  waterman  and  I, 
one  of  those  moods  came  upon  me  which  come  on  all  men  in  such 
stress  as  I  was;  and  I  appeared  to  myself,  for  the  time,  to  be 
worlds  away  from  all  this  sedition  and  passion  and  fever.  The 
little  affairs  of  men  which  they  thought  so  great  seemed  to  me 
in  that  hour  very  little  and  wicked — like  the  scheming  of 
naughty  children,  or  the  quarrels  and  spites  of  efts  in  a  muddy 
pond.  In  that  hour  my  whole  heart  grew  sick  at  this  miserable 
murderous  pother  in  the  midst  of  which  my  duty  seemed  to 
lie ;  and  yearned  instead  to  those  things  that  are  great  indeed — 
the  love  of  the  maid  who  had  promised  herself  to  me,  and  the 
Love  of  God  that  should  make  us  one.  My  religion — though 
I  am  a  little  ashamed  to  confess  it — had  been  very  little  to  me 
lately:  I  had  heard  mass,  indeed,  usually,  on  Sundays,  in  one 
of  the  privileged  chapels,  and  had  confessed  myself  at  Easter 
and  once  since,  to  one  of  the  Capuchins,  and  received  Com- 
munion; yet,  for  the  rest  it  had  largely  been  blotted  out  by 
these  hot  absorbing  affairs  in  which  I  found  myself.  But,  in 
that  hour  (for  the  tide  was  beginning  to  set  against  us) — it 
came  back  on  me  like  a  breeze  in  a  stifling  room.  I  thought  of 
that  cleanly  passionless  life  I  had  led  as  a  novice,  and  of  that 
no  less  cleanly,  though  perhaps  less  supernatural  life,  that 
should  one  day  be  mine  and  Dolly's — and  these  politics  and 
these  plottings  and  this  listening  at  doors,  and  this  elaborate 
lying — all  blew  off  from  me  like  a  cloud. 

When  we  were  yet  twenty  yards  from  the  Privy  Stairs  a 
wherry  shot  past  us,  with  no  light  burning.  There  was  but 
one  passenger  in  it,  whom  I  knew  well  enough,  though  I  feigned 
to  see  nothing;  and  once  more  my  sickness  came  on  me,  that  it 


318  ODDSFISH! 

was  for  a  King  like  this,  slipping  out  on  some  shameful  pleas- 
ure, that  I  so  toiled  and  endangered  myself. 

When  I  had  reported  all  to  Mr.  Chiffinch,  sitting  back  weary 
in  my  chair,  yet  knowing  that  I  must  go  through  with  the  work 
to  which  I  had  set  my  hand,  he  remained  silent. 
"  Well?  "  I  said.     "  Am  I  wrong  in  any  point?  " 
"  Why  no/'  he  said.     "  Your  information  tallies  perfectly 
with  all  I  know,  and  has  increased  the  sum  very  much.     For 
example,  I  had  no  idea  where  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  was.     I 
have  no  doubt  whatever,  from  what  you  say,  that  he  is  in  Wap- 


"  Will  you  send  and  take  him  there  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  No,"  he  said  shortly.  "  Leave  him  alone.  We  failed  last 
time  we  took  him.  And  he  can  do  no  great  harm  there. 
Plainly  too,  he  is  at  the  waterside  that  he  may  escape  if  there 
is  need.  I  shall  set  spies  there;  and  no  more." 

"  What  is  to  be  done  then  ?     Double  the  guards  again  ?  " 

"  Why  that  of  course,"  said  he. 

"  And  what  else?  "  I  asked;  for  I  could  see  that  he  had  not 
said  all. 

"  A  counterstroke,"  he  said.  "  But  of  what  kind  ?  You 
say  the  rising  will  be  pretty  soon." 

"  I  do  not  suppose  for  a  week  or  two  at  the  most.  They 
were  decided,  I  am  sure;  but  no  more." 

Suddenly  the  man  slapped  his  leg;  and  his  eyes  grew  little 
with  his  smile. 

"  I  have  it  for  sure/'  he  said.  "  It  will  be  for  the  seven- 
teenth of  November.  That  is  the  popular  date.  Queen  Bess 
and  Dangerfield  and  the  rest." 

"  But  what  can  you  do  ?  " 

"  Why,"  said  he,  "forbid  by  proclamation  all  processions  or 
bonfires  on  that  day.  Then  they  cannot  even  begin  to  gather." 

He  proved  right  in  every  particular.  The  proclamation  was 
issued,  and  met  their  intended  assault  to  the  very  moment,  as 
we  learned  afterwards,  besides  frightening  the  leaders  lest  their 


ODDSFISH!  319 

intention  had  been  discovered:  and  the  next  night  came  one 
of  the  spies  whom  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  sent  down  to  Wapping.  to 
say  that  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  had  slipped  away  and  taken 
boat  for  Holland. 


CHAPTER    IX 

Now  indeed  the  fear  grew  imminent.  I  had  thought  that  once 
my  Lord  Shaftesbury  was  gone  abroad,  one  of  two  things 
would  happen — either  that  the  whole  movement  would  collapse, 
or  that  the  leaders  would  be  arrested  forthwith.  But  Mr. 
Chiffinch  was  sharper  than  I  this  time ;  and  said  No  to  both. 

"  No,"  said  he,  sitting  like  a  Judge,  with  his  fingers  to- 
gether, on  the  morning  after  my  Lord  Shaftesbury's  evasion. 
"  The  feeling  is  far  too  strong  to  fall  away  all  of  a  sudden. 
I  dare  predict  just  the  contrary,  that,  now  that  the  coolest 
of  them  all  is  gone — for  he  dare  not  come  back  again — the 
hot-heads  will  take  the  lead ;  and  that  means  the  sharpest  peril 
we  have  yet  encountered.  This  time  they  will  not  stop  at  a 
demonstration;  indeed  I  doubt  if  they  could  raise  one  success- 
fully; they  will  aim  direct  at  the  person  of  the  King.  It  is 
their  only  hope  left." 

"  Then  why  not  take  them  before  they  can  do  any  mis- 
chief?" I  asked. 

"  First,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  because  we  have  not  enough 
positive  evidence — at  any  rate  not  enough  to  hang  them  all; 
and  next  we  must  catch  the  small  fry — the  desperate  little 
ones  who  will  themselves  attempt  the  killing.  It  is  now  that 
I  should  be  ready  for  a  visit  from  your  friend  Rumbald,  if  I 
were  you.  They  can  have  no  suspicion  that  you  have  done 
anything  but  betray  them  in  the  way  they  intended:  they  have 
a  great  weapon,  they  think,  in  you,  to  continue  carrying  false 
news.  Now,  Mr.  Mallock,  is  the  very  time  come  of  which  you 
once  spoke  to  me — the  climax,  when  they  will  feign  to  reveal 
everything  to  you,  and  then  make  their  last  stroke.  You  have 
seen  my  Lord  Essex  again?  " 

"  Not  a  sight  of  him.  I  had  only  a  very  guarded  note,  two 
days  ago,  but  very  friendly:  saying  that  the  designs  were 
fallen  through  for  the  present." 

"  Precisely  what  I  have  been  saying,"  observed  Mr.  Chiffinch. 

320 


ODDSFISH! 

"  No,  Mr.  Mallock,  you  must  not  stir  from  town.  I  am  sorry 
for  your  pretty  cousin,  and  Christmas,  and  the  rest:  but  you 
see  for  yourself  that  we  must  leave  no  loophole  unguarded. 
His  Majesty  must  not  die  out  of  his  bed,  if  we  can  help  it." 

There,  then,  I  was  nailed  until  more  should  happen.  I 
dared  not  ask  my  cousins  to  come  to  town ;  for  God  only  knew 
what  mischief  my  Cousin  Tom  might  not  play;  and  I  had  not 
eyes  on  both  sides  of  my  head  at  once.  I  wrote  only  to  Dolly ; 
and  said  that  once  more  I  was  disappointed ;  but  that  I  would 
most  certainly  see  her  soon,  if  I  had  to  ride  two  nights  running, 
from  town  and  back. 

I  accomplished  this,  but  not  until  Christmas  was  well  over, 
and  indeed  Lent  begun.  During  those  weeks,  certainly  noth- 
ing of  any  importance  happened  to  me,  though  my  Lord  Essex 
kept  me  in  touch  with  him,  and  I  even  was  present  at  one  very 
dismal  meeting  with  him  and  Mr.  Ferguson,  when  it  was  de- 
plored, in  my  presence,  that  the  "  demonstration  " — as  they 
still  called  it — of  the  seventeenth  of  November  had  been  so 
adroitly  prevented;  and  my  Lord  Shaftesbury's  death — which 
had  taken  place  (chiefly,  I  think,  from  disappointment)  that 
very  week — was  spoken  of  with  a  certain  relief.  I  think  they 
were  pleased  to  have  matters  entirely  in  their  own  hands  now. 
However  they  proposed  no  immediate  action,  which  more  than 
ever  persuaded  me  that  this  was  what  they  intended.  Yet  the 
days  went  by:  and  no  more  news  came,  either  from  them  or 
from  Mr.  Chiffinch — so  I  took  affairs  into  my  own  hands,  and 
one  night,  before  the  gates  of  the  City  were  shut  went  down 
to  Hare  Street  with  a  couple  of  men,  leaving  James  at  home, 
for  I  could  trust  him  better  than  any  other  man. 

Now  I  need  not  relate  all  that  passed  at  Hare  Street;  for 
every  lover  knows  how  sweet  was  that  day  to  me.  I  had  seen 
her  not  at  all  for  more  than  a  year — (one  year  of  those  three 
that  were  to  pass !) — and  though  we  had  written  often  to  one 
another,  whenever  we  could  get  a  letter  taken,  yet  the  letters 
had  done  no  more  than  increase  my  thirst.  I  think  she  was 
dearer  to  me  than  ever ;  she  was  a  shade  paler  and  more  grave, 
and  I  knew  what  it  was  that  had  made  her  so,  for  I  had  told 


ODDSFISH! 

her  very  plainly  indeed  that  I  was  in  peril  and  that  she 
pray  much  for  me.     My  Cousin  Tom  was   friendly  enougl 
though  I  saw  he  was  no  more  reconciled  in  his  heart  to  01 
affair  than  he  had  been  at  the  beginning;  but  I  guessed  notl 
ing  whatever  of  what  he  was  contemplating.     (However  pei 
haps  he  was  not  contemplating  it  then,  for  he  did  not  attemj 
it  till  much  later.)     Yet  he  was  pretty  reasonable,  and  intei 
rupted  us  no  more  than  was  necessary;  so  we  had  that  day 
ourselves,  until  night  fell,  and  I  must  ride  again.     I  was 
weary  that  night,  though  refreshed  in  my  spirit,  that  I  thii 
I  drowsed  a  little  on  my  horse,  and  thought  that  I  stood  ag 
at  the  gate  of  the  yard  with  Dolly,  bareheaded  in  spite  of 
cold,  holding  the  lantern  to  help  us  to  mount. 

I  was  still  brooding  all  the  way  up  Fleet  Street,  and  evei 
to  my  own  door;  until  I  saw  James  standing  there;  and  at  the 
sight  of  him  I  knew  that  something  was  fallen  out. 

I  said  nothing,  but  nodded  at  him  only,  as  a  master  may 
but  he  understood  that  he  was  to  follow  upstairs.     There, 
my  chamber  I  faced  him. 

"Well?  "said  I.     "What  is  it?" 

"  Sir,"  he  said,  "  a  fellow  came  last  night  and  seemed  muc 
put  out  when  I  told  him  you  were  out  of  town." 

"  What  sort  of  a  fellow  was  he?  "  said  I. 

"  He  was  a  clean-shaven  man,  sir,  rather  red  in  the  face 
with  reddish  hair  turning  grey  on  his  temples." 

"Heavily  built?" 

"Yes,  sir." 

"Well;  what  did  he  say?" 

"  He  said  that  you  would  know  what  affair  he  was  com 
about — that  it  was  very  urgent;  and  that  he  could  not  stay  i 
town  beyond  noon  to-day.  He  said,  sir,  that  he  was  to  b 
found  till  then  at  the  Mitre  without  Aldgate." 

Well;  that  was  enough  for  me.  But  I  did  not  relish  th 
prospect  of  no  sleep  again;  for  I  cannot  trust  my  wits  whei 
I  have  not  slept  my  seven  or  eight  hours.  But  there  was  n 
help  for  it. 

"  James,"  said  I,  "  bring  my  morning  up  here  at  once,  wit 


ODDSFISH! 

some  meat  too.  I  may  not  be  able  to  dine  to-day,  or  not  till 
late.  When  you  have  brought  it  I  shall  have  a  letter  ready, 
for  Mr.  Chiffinch.  That  you  must  take  yourself.  Then  re- 
turn here,  and  pack  a  pair  of  valises,  with  a  suit  in  them  for 
yourself.  Have  two  horses  ready  at  eleven  o'clock:  you  must 
come  with  me,  and  no  one  else.  I  do  not  know  how  long  we 
may  be  away.  You  understand  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Very  well.     I  must  get  some  sleep  if  I  can  before  eleven." 

Then  a  thought  came  to  me.  If  Rumbald  must  be  gone 
from  town  by  noon,  would  he  not  likely  want  me  to  go  with 
him? 

"Wait,"  I  said.  "I  do  not  know  this  man  very  well;  but 
I  will  tell  you  that  his  name  is  Rumbald  and  that  he  lives  at 
the  Rye,  near  Hoddesdon.  You  had  best  not  come  with  me. 
But  do  all  else  as  I  have  said;  but  you  must  ride  by  yourself 
at  eleven,  to  Hoddesdon ;  and  put  up  at  the  inn  there — I  forget 
its  name,  but  the  largest  there,  if  there  be  more  than  one. 
Remain  there  until  you  hear  from  me  again:  I  may  want  a 
courier.  Do  not  go  a  hundred  yards  from  the  inn  on  any  ac- 
count; and  do  not  seem  to  know  me,  unless  I  speak  to  you 
first.  You  may  see  me,  or  you  may  not.  I  know  nothing  till 
I  have  seen  Rumbald.  If  you  do  not  hear  of  me  before  ten 
o'clock  to-night,  you  can  go  to  bed,  and  return  here  in  the 
morning.  I  will  communicate  with  you  by  to-morrow  night  at 
latest.  If  I  do  not,  go  to  Mr.  Chiffinch  yourself  and  tell  him." 

My  mind  was  working  at  that  swift  feverish  speed  which 
weariness  sometimes  will  give.  I  was  amazed  afterwards  at 
my  own  foresight,  for  there  was  very  little  evidence  of  what 
was  intended;  and  yet  there  had  come  upon  me,  as  in  an  illu- 
mination, that  the  time  for  which  we  had  waited  so  long  was 
arrived  at  last.  I  do  not  see  how  I  could  have  guessed  more 
than  I  did;  neither  do  I  now  see  how  I  guessed  so  much. 

My  letter  to  Mr.  Chiffinch  was  not  long.     It  ran  as  follows : 

"  Rumbald  hath  been  to  see  me ;  and  bids  me  be  with  him, 
if  I  can,  by  noon  to-day  at  the  Mitre,  without  Aldgate.  I 
know  no  more  than  that;  but  I  am  making  ready  to  go  down 


ODDSFISH! 

with  him  to  the  Rye  at  Hoddesdon,  if  he  should  want  me 
there.  I  think  that  something  is  intended,  if  we  are  right  in 
our  conjectures.  I  shall  have  my  man  at  the  inn  in  Hoddes- 
don.  You  must  send  no  one  else  for  fear  of  alarming  them, 
unless  my  man  comes  to  you  to-morrow  to  tell  you  that  he  does 
not  know  where  I  am.  Is  His  Majesty  still  at  Newmarket? 
If  so,  when  does  he  purpose  to  return?  Which  road  will  he 
come  by?  Send  an  answer  back  by  my  man  who  bears  this. 

"  R.  M." 

Well;  that  was  all  that  I  could  do.  I  gave  the  letter  to 
James;  telling  him  not  to  awaken  me  with  the  answer  till  he 
came  at  eleven  o'clock;  and  after  eating  a  good  meal,  I  went 
to  my  bed  and  fell  sound  asleep;  and  it  seemed  scarcely  five 
minutes,  before  James  came  knocking,  with  Mr.  Chiffinch's 
answer.  I  sat  up  on  my  bed  and  read  it — my  mind  still  swim- 
ming with  sleep. 

"  Prospere  precede!  "  it  ran.  "  I  will  observe  all  that  you 
say.  The  King  and  His  Royal  Highness  are  together  at  New- 
market. They  purpose  to  return  on  a  Saturday,  as  the  King 
usually  does;  but  he  hath  not  yet  sent  to  say  whether  it  will 
be  to-morrow,  the  18th  or  the  25th.  I  shall  hear  by  night,  no 
doubt.  Neither  do  I  know  the  road  by  which  they  may  come." 

I  read  it  through  twice;  then  I  tore  it  into  fragments  and 
gave  them  to  James. 

"  Burn  all  these/'  I  said.     "  Are  the  horses  ready  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  James. 

Undoubtedly  my  sleep  had  refreshed  me;  for  by  the  time 
that  I  rode  up  to  the  Mitre  without  Aldgate,  I  was  awake  with 
a  kind  of  clear-headedness  that  astonished  me.  It  appeared 
to  me  that  I  had  thought  out  every  contingency.  I  had  with 
me  a  little  valise,  ready  for  the  country,  if  need  be ;  yet  I  could 
return  to  my  lodgings  without  remark.  James  was  already  on 
his  way  to  Hoddesdon,  and  would  be  there  if  I  needed  him. 
No  harm  was  done  if  my  conjectures  were  at  fault;  I  had  left 
no  loophole  that  I  could  see,  if  they  were  not.  It  was  with  a 


ODDSFISH!  325 

tolerably  contented  heart,  in  spite  of  the  dangers  I  foresaw — 
(for  I  think  these  gave  spice  to  my  adventure) — that  I  rode 
up  to  the  Mitre,  and  saw  Mr.  Rumbald  himself  standing  astrad- 
dle in  the  doorway. 

I  must  confess  however  that  the  sight  of  him  gave  me  a 
little  check.  He  appeared  to  me  more  truculent  than  I  had 
ever  seen  him.  He  had  his  hands  behind  him,  with  a  great 
whip  in  them;  he  hardly  smiled  to  me,  but  nodded  only,  fixing 
his  fierce  eyes  on  my  face.  He  had,  more  than  I  had  ever 
noticed  it  before,  that  hard  fanatic  look  of  the  Puritan.  After 
all,  I  reflected,  this  maltster  had  commanded  a  troop  under 
Cromwell  at  Naseby.  His  manner  was  very  different  from 
when  I  had  last  seen  him ;  he  appeared  to  me  as  if  desperate. 

However,  I  think  I  shewed  nothing  of  what  I  felt.  I  sa- 
luted him  easily,  and  swung  myself  off  my  horse.  He  had 
gone  into  the  house  at  my  approach;  and  I  followed  him 
straight  through  into  a  little  parlour  to  which,  it  seemed,  he 
had  particular  access,  for  he  turned  a  key  in  the  door  as  he 
went  in.  When  I  was  in,  after  him,  and  the  door  was  shut, 
he  turned  to  me,  with  a  very  stern  look. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Mallock?  "  he  said.  **  I  see  you  are  come  ready 
for  a  ride." 

"  Yes,"  I  said.     "  I  had  your  message/* 

He  nodded.  Then  he  came  a  little  closer,  looking  at  me 
with  his  fierce  eyes. 

"  You  understand  what  is  forward  ?  " 

"  I  understand  enough,"  said  I. 

"  That  is  very  good  then.     We  will  ride  at  once." 

As  we  came  out,  a  couple  of  men — one  of  them  I  noticed  in 
particular,  dressed  as  a  workman — (I  set  him  down  for  a  car- 
penter or  some  such  thing) — made  as  though  they  would  speak 
to  us;  but  Rumbald  waved  his  hand  at  them  sharply,  as  if  to 
hold  them  off.  I  could  see  that  he  was  displeased.  I  said 
nothing,  but  I  marked  the  man  closely:  he  was  a  little  fellow, 
that  looked  ill.  Mr.  Rumbald's  horse  was  already  there;  and 
mine  was  being  held  still  by  the  ostler  into  whose  hands  I  had 
given  him.  We  mounted  without  another  word ;  and  rode  away. 

I  think  we  did  not  speak  one  word  at  all  till  we  were  out 


326  ODDSFISH! 

from  town.  Such  was  his  mood,  and  such  therefore  I  imitated; 
He  rode  like  a  soldier,  sitting  easily  and  squarely  in  his  sad- 
dle; and  the  more  I  observed  him  and  thought  of  him,  the  less 
I  liked  my  business.  It  was  wonderful  how  some  emotion  had 
driven  up  the  power  that  lay  in  him.  All  that  genial  hail- 
fellow  manner  was  gone  completely. 

When  we  were  clear  of  town  he  spoke  at  last. 

"  This  is  a  very  grave  business,  sir,"  he  said.  "  We  had 
best  not  speak  of  it  till  we  are  home.  Have  you  no  servants  ?  " 

He  spoke  so  naturally  of  my  servants  that  I  saw  he  was 
astonished  I  had  none.  I  had  very  little  time  to  think  what  I 
should  answer;  it  appeared  to  me  that  I  had  best  be  open. 

"  Yes/*  I  said.  "  My  man  is  gone  on  to  Hoddesdon  to 
await  me  there.  I  thought  it  was  best  he  should  not  ride 
with  us." 

He  looked  at  me  with  a  peculiar  expression  that  I  could  not 
understand;  but  only  for  an  instant.  Then  he  nodded,  and 
turned  his  stern  face  again  over  his  horse's  ears. 

My  moods  were  very  various  as  I  rode  on.  Now  I  felt  as 
a  sheep  being  led  to  the  slaughter;  now  as  an  adventurer  on 
a  quest;  and,  again,  of  a  sudden  there  would  sweep  over  me  a 
great  anxiety  as  to  His  Majesty's  safety.  The  thought  of 
Dolly,  too,  came  upon  me  continually  and  affected  me  now  in 
this  way,  now  in  that.  Now  I  longed  to  be  free  and  safe  back 
at  Hare  Street;  now  I  knew  that  I  could  never  look  her  in  the 
face  again  if  I  evaded  my  plain  duty.  One  thing  I  can  say, 
however,  from  my  heart,  and  that  is  that  never  for  an  instant 
did  I  seriously  consider  any  evasion.  It  was  all  in  the  course 
that  I  had  chosen — to  "  serve  the  King."  Well ;  I  must  do  so 
now,  wherever  it  led  me.  What,  however,  greatly  added  to 
the  horror  of  my  position  was  that  I  knew  that  this  strong  fel- 
low at  my  side  thought  me  to  be  a  traitor  to  himself  and  was 
using  that  knowledge  only  for  his  own  ends.  He  would  surely 
be  ruthless  if  he  found  I  had  served  my  turn;  and  here  was  I, 
riding  to  his  house,  and  only  two  men  in  the  world  knew  whither 
I  was  gone. 

Rumbald  had  already  dined;  and  thought  not  at  all  of  me. 
We  drew  rein  therefore,  nowhere ;  but  rode  straight  on,  through 


ODDSFISH!  327 

village  and  country  alike — now  ambling  for  a  little,  once  or 
twice  cantering,  and  then  walking  again  when  the  way  had 
holes  in  it.  So  we  passed  through  Totteridge  and  Barnet  and 
Enfield  Chase  and  Wood  Green,  and  came  at  last  to  Brox- 
bourne  where  the  roads  forked,  and  we  turned  down  to  the 
right.  It  was  terrible  that  ride — all  in  silence;  once  or  twice 
I  had  attempted  a  general  observation;  but  he  answered  so 
shortly  that  I  tried  no  more;  and  I  am  not  ashamed  to  say  that 
I  committed  myself  again  and  again  to  the  tuition  of  Our 
Lady  of  Good  Counsel  whose  picture  I  had  venerated  in  Rome. 
Indeed,  it  was  counsel  that  I  needed. 

I  did  not  know  precisely  where  was  the  Rye,  nor  what  it 
was  like;  for  I  had  avoided  the  place,  of  design.  I  supposed 
it  only  a  little  place,  perhaps  in  a  village.  I  was  a  trifle  dis- 
concerted therefore  when,  as  we  crossed  the  Lea  by  a  wooden 
bridge,  he  pointed  with  his  whip,  in  silence,  to  a  very  solid- 
looking  house  that  even  had  battlemented  roofs — not  two  hun- 
dred yards  away,  to  the  left  of  the  road.  There  was  no  other 
building  that  I  could  see,  except  the  roofs  of  an  outhouse  or 
two,  and  suchlike.  However,  I  nodded,  and  said  nothing. 
No  words  were  best:  in  silence  we  rode  on  over  the  bridge,  and 
beyond;  and  in  silence  we  turned  in  through  a  gateway,  and 
up  to  the  house,  crossing  a  moat  as  we  went. 

Indeed,  now  I  was  astonished  more  than  ever  at  the  house. 
It  was  liker  a  castle.  There  was  an  arched  entrance,  very 
solid,  all  of  brick,  with  the  teeth  even  of  a  portcullis  shewing. 
An  old  man  came  out  of  a  door  on  our  right,  as  our  hoofs  rang 
out;  but  he  made  no  sign  or  salute;  he  took  our  horses'  heads 
as  we  dismounted,  and  I  heard  him  presently  leading  them 
away. 

Still  without  speaking,  the  Colonel  led  me  through  the  little 
guard-room  on  the  right,  hung  round  with  old  weapons  of  the 
Civil  War,  and  up  a  staircase  at  the  further  end.  At  the  head 
of  the  staircase  a  door  was  open  on  the  right,  and  I  saw  a  bed 
within;  but  we  went  up  a  couple  more  steps  on  the  left,  and 
came  out  into  the  principal  living-room  of  the  house. 

It  was  a  very  good  chamber,  this,  panelled  about  eight  feet 
up  the  walls,  with  the  bricks  shewing  above,  but  whitewashed. 


328  ODDSFISH! 

A  hearth  was  on  the  right;  a  couple  of  windows  in  the  wall 
opposite,  and  another  door  beyond  the  hearth.  The  furniture 
was  very  plain  but  very  good:  a  great  table  stood  under  the 
windows  with  three  or  four  chairs  about  it.  The  walls  seemed 
immensely  strong  and  well-built;  and,  though  the  place  could 
not  stand  out  for  above  an  hour  or  two  against  guns,  in  the 
old  days  it  could  have  faced  a  little  siege  of  men-at-arms,  very 
well. 

Rumbald,  when  he  had  seen  me  shut  the  door  behind  me, 
went  across  to  the  table  and  put  down  his  whip  upon  it. 

"  Sit  down,  sir,"  he  said.     "  Here  is  my  little  stronghold." 

He  said  it  with  a  grim  kind  of  geniality,  at  which  I  did  not 
know  whether  to  be  encouraged  or  not:  I  did  as  he  told  me, 
and  looked  about  me  with  as  easy  an  air  as  I  could  muster. 

"  A  little  stronghold  indeed,"  I  said. 

He  paid  no  attention. 

"  Now,  sir,"  he  said,  "  we  have  not  very  much  time.  Sup- 
per will  be  up  in  half  an  hour ;  we  had  best  have  our  talk  first, 
and  then  you  may  send  for  your  servant.  Old  Alick  will  find 
him  out." 

"  With  all  my  heart,"  I  said,  wondering  that  he  made  so 
much  of  my  servant. 

He  sat  down  suddenly,  and  looked  at  me  very  heavily  and 
penetratingly. 

"  Sir,"  he  said,  "  you  are  going  to  hear  the  truth  at  last, 
I  said  we  had  not  much  time.  Well;  we  have  not." 

"  Then  let  me  have  the  truth  quickly,"  I  said. 

He  took  his  eyes  from  my  face.  I  was  glad  of  that;  as  I 
did  not  greatly  like  his  regard.  What,  thought  I,  if  I  be  alone 
with  a  madman? 

"  Well,  sir,"  he  said,  "  we  are  driven  desperate,  as  you  may 
have  guessed.  I  say,  we;  for  you  have  identified  yourself  with 
our  cause  a  hundred  times  over.  My  Lord  Shaf tesbury  is  gone ; 
my  Lord  Essex  is  hanging  back.  Well;  but  those  are  not  all. 
We  have  other  men  besides  those  that  have  been  urged  on  and 
urged  on,  and  now  cannot  be  restrained.  I  have  tried  to  re- 
strain them  myself  " — (here  he  gulped  in  his  throat:  lying  was 
not  very  easy  to  this  man,  I  think) — "  and  I  have  failed. 


ODDSFISH!  329 

Well,  sir,  I  must  trust  you  more  than  I  have  ever  trusted  you 
before." 

Again  he  stopped. 

Then  all  came  out  with  a  rush. 

"  Not  half  a  mile  from  here,"  said  he,  "  along  the  New- 
market road  there  be  twenty  men,  with  blunderbusses  and 
other  arms,  waiting  for  His  Majesty  and  the  Duke,  who  will 
come  to-morrow/' 

"  But  how  do  you  know?  "  cried  I — all  bewildered  for  the 
instant. 

His  head  shook  with  passion. 

"  Listen,"  said  he.  "  We  have  had  certain  information  that 
they  come  this  way — Why,  do  you  think  we  have  not — "  (again 
he  broke  off;  but  I  knew  well  enough  what  he  would  have 
said !)  "  I  tell  you  we  know  it.  The  King  is  not  lying  at 
Royston,  to-night.  He  comes  by  this  road  to-morrow.  Now 
then,  sir — what  do  you  say  to  that?  " 

My  mind  was  still  all  in  a  whirl.  I  had  looked  for  sudden 
danger,  but  not  so  sudden  as  this.  Half  a  dozen  questions 
flashed  before  me.  I  put  the  first  into  words : 

"  Why  have  you  told  me?  "  I  cried. 

His  face  contracted  suddenly.  (It  was  growing  very  dark 
by  now,  and  we  had  no  candles.  The  muscles  of  his  face  stood 
out  like  cords.) 

"  Not  so  loud !  "  said  he ;  and  then :  "  Well,  are  you  not 
one  of  us  ?  You  are  pledged  very  deeply,  sir ;  I  tell  you." 

Then  came  the  blessed  relief.  For  the  first  moment,  so 
genuine  appeared  his  passion,  I  had  believed  him ;  and  that  the 
ambushment  was  there,  as  he  had  said.  Then,  like  a  train  of 
gunpowder,  light  ran  along  my  mind  and  I  understood  that  it 
was  the  same  game  still  that  they  were  playing  with  me;  that 
there  was  no  ambushment  ready;  that  they  had  indeed  fixed 
upon  this  j  ourney  of  the  King's ;  but  that  they  were  unprepared 
and  desired  delay.  His  anxiety  about  my  servant ;  his  evident 
displeasure  and  impatience;  his  sending  for  me  at  all  when  he 
must  have  known  over  and  over  again  that  I  was  not  of  his* 
party — each  detail  fitted  in  like  a  puzzle.  And  yet  I  must 
not  shew  a  sign  of  it! 


330  ODDSFISH! 

I  hid  my  face  in  my  hands  for  a  moment,  to  think  wHat  I 
could  answer.  Then  I  looked  up. 

"  Mr.  Rumbald,"  said  I,  "  you  are  right.  I  am  too  deeply 
pledged.  Tell  me  what  I  am  to  do.  It  is  sink  or  swim  with 
me  now/* 

He  believed,  of  course,  that  I  was  lying;  and  so  I  was, 
but  not  as  he  thought.  He  believed  that  he  had  gained  his 
point;  and  the  relief  of  that  thought  melted  him.  He  be- 
lieved, that  is,  that  I  should  presently  make  an  excuse  to  get 
hold  of  my  servant  and  send  him  off  to  delay  the  King's 
coming.  Then,  I  suppose,  he  saw  the  one  flaw  in  his  design; 
and  he  strove,  very  pitifully,  to  put  it  right. 

"  One  more  thing,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  he,  "  this  is  not  the 
only  party  that  waits  for  him.  There  is  another  on  the 
Royston  road,  among  the  downs  near  Barkway.  They  will 
catch  him  whichever  way  he  comes." 

I  nodded. 

"  I  had  supposed  so,"  I  said ;  for  I  did  not  wish  to  confuse 
him  further. 

"  Well,"  said  he,  "  why  I  have  sent  for  you  is  that  you 
may  help  me  here.  There  may  be  more  guards  with  the 
King  than  we  think  for.  It  may  come  to  a  fight;  and  even 
a  siege  here — if  they  come  this  way.  We  must  be  ready  to 
defend  this  place  for  a  little." 

It  was,  indeed,  pitiful  to  see  how  poor  he  was  as  an  actor. 
His  sternness  was  all  gone,  or  very  nearly:  he  babbled  freely 
and  drunkenly — walking  up  and  down  the  chamber,  like  a 
restless  beast.  He  told  me  point  after  point  that  he  need 
not — even  their  very  code — how  "  swan-quills  "  and  "  goose- 
quills  "  and  "  crow-quills "  stood  for  blunderbusses  and 
muskets  and  pistols ;  and  "  sand  and  ink "  for  powder  and 
balls.  It  was,  as  I  say,  pitiful  to  see  him,  now  that  his 
anxiety  was  over,  and  he  had  me,  as  he  thought,  in  his 
toils.  It  was  a  very  strange  nature  that  he  had  altogether ;- 
this  old  Cromwellian  and  Puritan — and  I  am  not  sure  to  thi 
day  whether  he  were  not  in  good  faith  in  his  murderous  de- 
signs. I  thought  of  these  things,  even  at  this  moment;  an< 
wondered  what  he  would  do  if  he  knew  the  truth. 


ODDSFISH!  331 

At  supper  he  fell  silent  again,  and  even  morose;  and  I 
think  it  possible  he  may  have  had  some  suspicions  of  me; 
for  he  suspected  everyone,  I  think.  But  he  brightened  won- 
derfully when  I  said  with  a  very  innocent  air  that  I  would 
like  my  servant  to  be  fetched,  and  that  I  would  give  him 
his  instructions  and  send  him  back  to  London,  for  that  I  did 
not  wish  to  embroil  him  in  this  matter. 

"Why,  certainly,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "it  is  what  I 
wish.  I  trust  you  utterly,  as  you  see.  You  shall  see  him 
where  you  will." 

He  turned  to  his  old  man  who  came  in  at  that  instant, 
and  bade  him  fetch  Mr.  Mallock's  servant  from  Hoddesdon. 
I  described  him  to  Alick,  and  scribbled  a  note  that  would 
bring  him.  Then  we  fell  to  the  same  kind  of  talking  again. 

It  was  eight  o'clock,  pretty  well,  by  the  time  that  James 
came  to  the  Rye.  I  had  determined  to  see  him  out  of  doors 
where  none  could  hear  us;  and  before  eight  I  was  walking 
up  and  down  in  the  dark  between  the  gate  and  the  house, 
talking  to  my  host.  When  the  two  men  came  through  the 
gate,  Rumbald  was  very  particular  to  leave  me  immediately, 
that  I  might,  as  he  thought,  send  my  man  to  Newmarket 
to  put  off  the  King's  coming;  and  have  no  interruption. 

"  I  will  leave  you,"  said  he.  "  You  shall  see  how  much 
I  trust  you." 

I  waited  till  he  was  gone  in  and  the  door  shut.  Then  I 
took  James  apart  into  a  little  walled  garden  that  I  had 
noticed  as  I  came  in,  where  we  could  not  by  any  chance  be 
overheard.  Even  then  too  I  spoke  in  a  very  small  whisper. 

"  James,"  said  I,  "  go  back  to  Hoddesdon;  and  get  a  fresh 
horse.  Leave  all  luggage  behind  and  ride  as  light  as  you 
can,  for  you  must  go  straight  to  Newmarket;  and  be  there 
before  six  o'clock,  at  any  cost.  Go  straight  to  the  King's 
lodgings,  and  ask  for  any  of  Mr.  Chiffinch's  men  that  are 
there,  whom  you  know.  Do  you  know  of  any  who  are  there  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,"  whispered  James ;  and  he  named  one. 

"  Very  good.  With  him  you  must  go  straight  to  His  Maj- 
esty; and  have  him  awakened  if  need  be.  Tell  him  that 


332  ODDSFISH! 

you  come  from  me — Mr.  Chiffinch's  men  will  support  you 
in  that.  Tell  His  Majesty  that  if  he  values  his  life  he  must 
return  to  town  to-morrow — and  not  sleep  anywhere  on  the 
way:  and  that  the  Duke  of  York  must  come  with  him.  Tell 
him  that  there  is  no  fear  whatever  if  he  comes  at  once;  but 
that  there  is  every  fear  if  he  delays.  He  had  best  come,  too. 
by  this  road  and  not  by  Royston.  You  understand?  " 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  I  shall  remain  here  until  to-morrow  night  at  the  earliest. 
If  I  am  not  at  home  by  Sunday  night,  go  to  Mr.  Chiffinch, 
as  I  told  you  this  morning.  Is  all  clear  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Then  go  at  once.  Spare  no  horses  or  expense.  Good- 
night, James." 

"  Good-night,  sir." 

I  watched  him  out  of  the  gate.  Then  I  turned  and  went 
back  to  the  house. 


CHAPTER     X 

IT  was  a  strange  night  and  day  that  followed.  On  the 
one  side  my  host  found  it  hard,  I  think,  to  maintain  the  story 
he  had  told  me,  in  action;  for,  in  accordance  with  his  tale, 
he  had  to  bear  himself  as  though  he  expected  before  night- 
fall the  assassination  of  the  King  and  His  Royal  Highness 
half  a  mile  away,  and  the  rush  of  the  murderers  to  his  house 
for  shelter.  On  my  side,  it  was  scarcely  less  hard,  for  I 
knew  nothing  of  how  my  man  James  had  fared,  or  whether 
or  no  His  Majesty  would  act  upon  my  message.  I  guessed, 
however,  that  he  would,  if  only  my  man  got  there;  for 
Chiffinch's  men  (who  now  followed  him  everywhere)  would  be 
as  eager  as  I  that  no  danger  should  come  to  him. 

My  plans  therefore  were  more  secure  than  Rumbald's;  since 
I  knew,  either  that  His  Majesty  would  come,  and  no  harm 
done,  or  that,  merely,  he  would  not  come.  In  the  latter 
case  Rumbald  would  be  certified  that  I  had  done  as  he 
thought  I  would;  and  would,  no  doubt,  let  me  go  peacefully, 
to  use  me  again  later  in  the  same  manner,  if  occasion  rose. 
For  myself,  then,  I  intended  after  nightfall  at  the  latest  to 
ride  back  to  London  and  report  all  that  had  passed;  and,  if 
the  King  had  not  come,  to  lay  all  in  Mr.  Chiffinch's  hands  for 
his  further  protection. 

I  was  left  a  good  deal  to  myself  during  the  morning — Mr. 
Rumbald's  powers  of  dissimulation  being,  I  think,  less  than 
his  desire  for  them;  and  I  did  not  quarrel  with  that.  I  was 
very  restless  myself,  and  spent  a  good  deal  of  time  in  ex- 
amining the  house  and  the  old  arms,  used  no  doubt,  forty 
years  ago  in  the  Civil  War,  that  were  hung  up  everywhere. 
Within,  as  well  as  without,  it  was  liker  an  arsenal  or  a  bar- 
racks, than  a  dwelling-house.  Its  lonely  situation  too,  and 
its  strength,  made  it  a  very  suitable  place  for  such  a  design 
as  that  which  its  owner  had  for  it.  The  great  chamber,  at 

333 


334  ODDSFISH! 

the  head  of  the  stairs,  and  over  the  archway,  where  we  had 
our  food,  was  no  doubt  the  room  where  the  conspirators  had 
held  their  meetings. 

A  little  before  eleven  o'clock,  as  I  was  walking  in  the  open 
space  between  the  house  and  the  gate,  I  saw  a  fellow  look  in 
suddenly  from  the  road,  and  then  was  away  again.  Every 
movement  perturbed  me,  as  may  be  imagined  in  such  suspense ; 
yet  anything  was  better  than  ignorance,  and  I  called  out  to 
let  him  see  that  I  had  observed  him.  So  he  came  forward 
again;  and  I  saw  him  to  be  the  little  carpenter,  or  what  not, 
that  had  wished  to  speak  to  Rumbald  yesterday  at  the  inn. 

He  saluted  me  very  properly. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir,"  said  he,  "  but  is  Mr.  Rumbald 
within?  " 

Now  I  had  seen  Mr.  Rumbald,  not  ten  minutes  ago,  slip 
back  into  the  house  from  the  outhouses  where  he  had  pre- 
tended to  go  upon  some  preparation  or  other  for  the  recep- 
tion of  the  assassins  this  evening;  but  he  had  not  known  that 
I  saw  him. 

"  He  is  very  busy  at  present,"  said  I.  "  Cannot  I  do  your 
business  for  you?  " 

(I  tried  to  look  as  if  I  knew  more  than  I  did.) 

"  Why,  sir,"  he  said,  "  I  think  not." 

He  seemed,  I  thought,  in  a  very  pitiable  state.  (I  learned 
some  months  later  that  he  was  come  down  expressly  to  dis- 
suade Rumbald  from  any  attempt  at  that  time;  but  I  did 
not  know  that  then.)  Here,  only,  thought  I,  is  one  of  the 
chicken-hearted  ones.  I  determined  to  play  upon  his  fears, 
if  I  could,  and  at  the  same  time,  perhaps,  upon  his  hopes. 

"  I  think  I  can,  however,"  I  said.  "  You  would  be  out  of 
the  business,  if  you  could,  would  you  not?  " 

He  turned  so  white  that  I  thought  he  would  have  fallen.  I 
saw  that  my  shot  had  told ;  but  it  was  not  a  hard  one  to  make. 

"  Hold  up,  man,"  I  said.  "  Why,  what  do  you  suppose  I 
am  here  for  ?  " 

"  What  business,  sir  ?  "  he  said.  "  I  do  not  know  what  yoi 
mean." 

I  smiled ;  so  that  he  could  see  me  do  it. 


ODDSFISH!  335 

"  Very  good.,  then/'  I  said.  "  I  will  leave  you  to  Mr.  Rum- 
bald  ;  "  and  I  made  as  if  I  would  pass  on. 

"Sir/'  he  said,  "can  you  give  me  any  assurance?  ...  I 
am  terrified."  And  indeed  he  looked  it;  so  I  supposed  that  he 
thought  that  the  attempt  was  indeed  to  be  made  to-day.  I  de- 
termined on  a  bold  stroke. 

"  My  man !  "  I  said.  "  If  you  will  tell  me  your  name,  and 
then  begone  at  once,  back  to  town,  I  will  tell  you  something 
that  will  be  of  service  to  you.  If  not "  and  I  broke  off. 

He  looked  at  me  piteously.  I  think  my  air  frightened  him. 
He  drew  back  a  little  from  the  house,  though  we  were  in  a 
place  where  we  could  not  be  seen  from  the  windows. 

"  My  name  is  Keeling,  sir.  You  will  not  betray  me  ?  What 
is  it,  sir  ?  " 

"  Well,"  said  I,  "  I  can  give  you  an  assurance  that  what  you 
fear  will  not  take  place.  There  is  not  a  man  here  beyond  my- 
self and  Mr.  Rumbald  and  old  Alick.  Now  begone  at  once. 
Stay;  where  do  you  live?  " 

He  shook  his  head.  A  little  colour  had  come  back  to  his 
face  again  at  the  news. 

"  No,  sir:  that  was  not  in  the  bargain.  I  will  begone,  sir, 
as  you  said;  and  thank  you,  sir." 

He  slipped  back  again  very  quickly,  and  was  vanished.  I 
suppose  that  he  had  ridden  down  in  some  cart  all  night,  and 
that  he  went  back  in  the  same  way,  for  I  saw  no  more  of 
him. 

Well;  I  had  gained  two  little  points — I  had  kept  him  from 
Mr.  Rumbald,  which  was  one — (for  I  did  not  want  my  host  to 
consult  with  any  if  I  could  help  it) — and  I  had  learned  what 
perhaps  was  his  name.  This,  however,  I  would  test  for  my- 
self presently. 

At  noon  we  dined;  and  having  observed  no  difference  in  my 
host's  manner,  that  might  shew  that  he  had  any  idea  I  had  met 
with  anyone,  I  made  two  remarks. 

"  I  talked  with  a  fellow  at  the  gate  this  morning,"  I  said; 
"  he  seemed  to  know  nothing  of  the  King's  coming." 

Rumbald  jerked  his  head  impatiently;  and  I  perceived  that 
we  had  not  been  seen.  Presently  I  said; 


336  ODDSFISH! 

"  Who  was  that  pale-looking  fellow  who  wished  to  speak 
with  you  yesterday,  Mr.  Rumbald,  at  the  Mitre?  " 

He  looked  sharply  at  me  for  an  instant. 

"  His  name  is  Thompson,"  said  he.  "  He  is  one  of  my  malt- 
ing-men." 

Then  I  knew  that  he  had  lied.  A  man  does  not  invent  the 
name  of  Keeling,  but  very  easily  the  name  of  Thompson.  So 
I  saw  that  Rumbald  had  not  yet  lost  all  discretion ;  and  indeed, 
for  all  his  talk,  he  had  hardly  spoken  a  name  that  I  could  get 
hold  of. 

After  a  while  I  ventured  on  another  sentence  which  suited 
my  purpose,  and  at  the  same  time  confirmed  him  in  his  own 
view. 

"If  by  any  chance  His  Majesty  should  not  come  to-day- 
will  it  be  done,  do  you  think,  to-morrow?  Shall  you  wait  till 
he  does  come  ?  " 

He  shook  his  head  and  lied  again  very  promptly. 

"  If  it  is  not  done  to-day,  it  will  never  be  done." 

Looking  back  on  the  affair  now,  I  truly  do  wonder  at  the 
adroitness  with  which  we  both  talked.  There  was  scarcely 
a  slip  on  either  side,  though  we  were  at  cross-purposes  if  ever 
men  were.  But  I  suppose  that  in  both  of  us  there  was  a  very 
great  tension  of  mind— as  of  men  walking  on  the  edge  of  a 
precipice;  and  it  was  the  knowledge  of  that  which  saved  us 
both.  After  dinner  I  said  I  would  walk  again  out  of  doors; 
and  he  thought  it  was  mere  affectation,  since  I  must  know  by 
now  that  His  Majesty  was  not  coming. 

"Well,"  I  said,  "if  by  any  mischance  His  Majesty  doth 
not  come  to-day,  I  will  get  back  to  town." 

He  looked  at  me;  but  he  kept  any  kind  of  irony  out  of  his 
face. 

"  You  had  best  do  that,"  he  said. 

Now  it  must  have  been  forty  miles  from  Newmarket  to  the 
Rye;  and  I  had  calculated  that  His  Majesty  would  not  start 
till  nine  o'clock  at  the  earliest.  He  would  have  four  horses  and 
would  change  them  at  least  three  times ;  but  they  would  not  be 
able  to  go  out  of  a  trot  for  most  of  the  way,  so  that  I  need  not 


ODDSFISH!  337 

look  for  any  news  of  him  till  three  o'clock  at  the  earliest. 
From  then  till  five  o'clock  would  be  the  time.  If  he  were  not 
come  by  five,  or  at  the  very  latest  half-past,  I  should  know 
that  my  design  had  miscarried. 

It  is  very  difficult  for  me  to  describe  at  all  the  state  I  was 
in — all  the  more  as  I  dared  not  shew  it.  It  was  not  merely 
that  my  Sovereign  was  at  stake,  but  a  great  deal  more  than 
that.  My  religion  too  was  in  some  peril,  for  if,  by  any  mis- 
chance things  should  not  go  as  I  expected;  if,  as  certainly  oc- 
curred to  my  mind  as  one  possibility  in  ten,  I  had  completely 
mistaken  Rumbald,  and  he  had  spoken  the  truth  for  once — it 
was  not  the  King  only  who  would  perish,  but  the  Catholic  heir 
also,  and  then  good-bye  to  all  our  hopes.  Yet,  I  declare  that 
even  this  did  not  affect  me  so  much  as  the  thought  that  it  was 
the  man  whom  I  had  learned  to  love  that  was  in  peril — to 
love,  in  spite  of  his  selfishness  and  his  indolence  and  his  sins. 
It  was  all  but  an  intolerable  thought  to  me  that  that  melan- 
choly fiery  man  who  had  so  scolded  me — whom,  to  tell  the 
truth,  I  had  scolded  back — that  this  man  might,  even  in  im- 
agination, be  mixed  up  with  the  horror  of  the  firing  of  guns 
and  the  plunging  of  the  wounded  horses — should  himself  be 
shot  at  and  murdered,  there  in  the  lonely  Hertfordshire  lane. 

At  about  three  o'clock  I  could  bear  it  no  more.  God  knows 
how  many  prayers  I  had  said ;  for  I  think  I  prayed  all  the  time, 
as  even  careless  men  will  do  at  such  crises.  There  was  the 
grim  house  behind  me,  the  leafless  trees  overhead,  the  lane 
stretching  up  northwards  beyond  the  gate.  All  was  very 
silent,  except  for  the  barking  of  a  dog  now  and  again.  It  was 
a  very  solitary  place — the  very  place  for  a  murder ;  there  were 
no  meadows  near  us,  where  men  might  be  working,  but  only 
the  deep  woods.  It  was  a  clearish  kind  of  day,  with  clouds 
in  the  west. 

At  about  three  o'clock  then  I  went  to  the  stables  to  see  my 
horse.  These  were  behind  the  house.  There  was  no  one 
about,  and  no  other  horse  in  the  stables  but  Rumbald's  own 
black  mare  that  had  carried  him  yesterday. 

It  came  to  me  as  I  looked  at  my  horse  that  no  harm  would 
be  done  if  I  put  the  saddle  on  him.  Rumbald  would  but  think 


338  ODDSFISH! 

me  a  little  foolish  for  so  confessing  in  action  that  I  knew  the 
King  would  not  come;  and  for  myself  it  would  be  some  relief 
to  my  feelings  to  know  that  if  by  any  mischance  I  did  hear 
the  sound  of  shots,  I  could  at  least  ride  up  and  do  my  best, 
though  I  knew  it  would  be  too  late. 

I  saddled  my  horse  then,  and  put  on  the  bridle,  as  quickly 
as  I  could.  Then,  again,  I  thought  there  would  be  no  harm 
done  if  I  led  him  out  to  the  gate  and  fastened  him  there.  I 
looked  out  of  the  stable  door,  but  there  was  no  one  in  sight. 
So  I  led  my  horse  out,  as  quietly  as  I  could,  yet  openly,  and 
brought  him  round  past  the  front  of  the  house  and  so  towards 
the  gate.  I  thought  nothing  of  my  valise;  for  at  that  time 
I  intended  no  more  than  what  I  had  said.  I  was  uneasy,  and 
had  no  determined  plans.  I  would  tell  Rumbald,  if  he  came 
out,  that  I  was  but  holding  myself  ready  to  ride  out  if  I  were 
needed. 

Then,  as  I  came  past  the  front  of  the  house,  I  heard,  very 
distinctly  in  the  still  air,  the  tramp  of  horses  far  away  on  the 
hill  to  the  north;  and  I  knew  enough  of  that  sound  to  tell  me 
that  there  were  at  least  eight  or  nine  coming,  and  coming  fast. 

Now  it  might  have  been  the  coach  of  anyone  coming  that 
way.  The  races  were  at  Newmarket,  and  plenty  went  to  and 
fro,  though  it  is  true  that  none  had  come  this  way  all  day. 
Yet  at  that  sound  my  heart  leapt  up,  both  in  excitement  and 
terror.  What  if  I  had  made  any  mistake,  and  enticed  the 
King  to  his  death?  Well,  it  would  be  my  death  too — but  I 
swear  I  did  not  think  of  that !  All  I  know  is  that  I  broke  into 
a  run,  and  the  horse  into  a  trot  after  me ;  and  as  I  reached  the 
gate  heard  Rumbald  run  out  of  the  house  behind  me. 

I  paid  him  no  attention  at  all,  though  I  heard  his  breathing 
at  my  shoulder.  I  was  listening  for  the  tramp  and  rattle  o: 
the  hoofs  again,  for  the  sound  had  died  away  in  a  hollow  o: 
the  road  I  suppose.  Then  again  they  rang  out ;  and  I  thought 
they  must  be  coming  very  near  the  place  he  had  told  me  of 
and  I  turned  and  looked  at  him ;  but  I  think  he  did  not  see  me 
He  too  was  staring  out,  his  face  gone  pale  under  its  ruddiness 
listening  for  what  very  well  might  be  the  end  of  all  his  hopes 

Then  the  distant  hoofs  grew  muffled  once  more,  though  not 


ODDSFISH!  339 

altogether;  and,  at  that,  Rumbald  ran  out  into  the  road  as  he 
was,  bareheaded;  and  I  saw  that  he  carried  a  cleaver  in  his 
hand,  caught  up,  I  suppose,  at  random ;  for  it  was  of  no  use  to 
him. 

Then,  loud  and  clear  not  a  hundred  yards  away  I  heard  the 
rattle  and  roar  of  a  coach  coming  down  the  hill  and  the  tramp 
of  the  hoofs. 

"  Back,  you  fool,"  I  screamed,  "  back !  "  for  I  dared  not  pull 
my  horse  out  into  the  road.  "  Throw  it  away !  " 

He  turned  on  me  with  the  face  of  a  devil.  Though  he  must 
have  seen  the  liveries  and  the  guardsmen  from  where  he  stood, 
I  think  not  even  yet  did  he  take  in  how  he  had  been  deceived ; 
but  that  he  began  to  suspect  it,  I  have  no  doubt. 

He  came  back  at  my  cry,  as  if  unwillingly,  and  stood  by  my 
side ;  but  never  a  word  did  he  say :  and  together  we  waited. 

Then,  past  the  gate  on  the  left,  over  the  hedge,  I  caught  a 
flash  of  colour,  and  another,  come  and  gone  again;  and  then 
the  gleam  of  a  coach-roof ;  and,  though  I  had  no  certainty  from 
my  senses,  I  was  as  sure  it  was  the  King,  as  if  I  had  seen  him. 

So  we  waited  still.  I  drew  up  in  my  hands  my  horse's 
bridle,  not  knowing  what  I  did,  and  moved  round  to  where  I 
could  mount,  if  there  were  any  need;  and,  as  I  did  it,  past  the 
gate,  full  in  view  there  swept  at  a  gallop,  first  three  guards 
riding  abreast,  a  brave  blaze  of  colour  in  the  dusky  lane;  then 
the  four  grey  horses,  with  their  postilions  cracking  their 
whips;  then  the  coach;  and,  as  this  passed,  as  plain  as  a  pic- 
ture I  saw  the  King  lean  forward  and  look — his  great  hat  and 
periwig  thrust  forward — and  behind  him  another  man.  Then 
the  coach  was  gone;  and  two  more  guards  flew  by  and  were 
gone  too. 

I  lost  my  head  completely  for  the  single  time,  I  think,  in  all 
this  affair;  now  that  I  knew  that  the  King  was  safe.  There, 
standing  where  I  was,  I  lifted  my  hat,  and  shouted  with  my 
full  voice: 

"God  save  the  King!" 

I  turned  as  I  shouted;  and,  as  the  last  word  left  my  lips, 
J  saw  Rumbald,  his  face  afire  with  anger,  coming  at  me,  round 


340  ODDSFISH! 


If  he  had 


my  horse  from  behind,  with  the  cleaver  upraised. 

not  been  near  mad  with  disappointment,  he  would  have  struck 

at  my  horse ;  but  he  was  too  intent  on  me  for  that. 

I  leapt  forward,  for  I  had  no  time  to  do  anything  else,  drag- 
ging my  horse's  haunches  forward  again  and  round;  and  with 
the  next  movement  I  was  across  my  saddle,  all-asprawl,  as 
my  horse  started  and  plunged.  I  was  ten  yards  away  before 
the  man  could  do  anything,  and  struggling  to  my  seat;  but,  as 
I  rose  and  gripped  the  reins,  something  flew  over  my  head, 
scarce  missing  it  by  six  inches;  and  I  saw  the  blade  of  the 
cleaver  flash  into  the  ditch  beyond. 

At  that,  I  turned  and  lifted  my  hat,  reining  in  my  horse ;  for 
I  was  as  mad  with  success  as  the  other  man  with  failure. 

"  God  save  the  King !  "  I  cried  again.  "  Ah !  Mr.  Rumbald, 
if  only  you  had  learned  to  speak  the  truth !  " 

Then  I  put  in  my  spurs  and  was  gone,  hearing  before  me, 
the  hollow  tramp  and  rumble  of  the  great  coach  in  front,  as 
the  King's  party  went  across  the  bridge. 


CHAPTER    XI 

IT  was  three  months  later  that  I  sat  once  more,  though  not 
for  the  first  time  since  my  adventure  at  the  Rye  in  Mr.  Chif- 
finch's  parlour. 

Of  those  three  months  I  need  not  say  very  much;  especially 
of  the  beginning  of  them,  since  I  received  then,  I  think,  more ' 
compliments  than  ever  in  my  life  before.  My  interviews  had 
been  very  many;  not  with  Mr.  Chiffinch  only,  but  with  two 
other  personages  whose  lives,  they  were  pleased  to  say,  I  had 
saved. 

His  Majesty  had  laughed  very  heartily  indeed  at  the  tale 
of  my  adventures. 

"Odds-fish!"  said  he.  "We  had  all  been  done,  but  for 
you,  Mr.  Mallock.  It  was  three  or  four  days  after,  at  the 
least,  that  I  had  intended  returning;  and  by  that  time,  no 
doubt,  our  friends  would  have  had  their  ambushment  complete. 
But  when  your  man  came,  all  a-sweat,  into  my  very  bed-cham- 
ber, telling  me  to  fly  for  my  life — well;  there  was  no  more  to 
be  said.  There  was  a  fire  too  at  my  lodgings  that  same  morn- 
ing;— and  poor  Sir  Christopher's  low  ceilings  all  ruined  with 
the  smoke — but  that  would  not  have  brought  me,  though  I  sup- 
pose we  must  give  out  that  it  did.  No ;  Mr.  Mallock,  'twas  you, 
and  no  other.  Odds-fish!  I  did  not  think  I  had  such  an 
accomplished  liar  in  my  service !  " 

His  Royal  Highness,  too,  was  no  less  gracious;  though  he 
talked  in  a  very  different  fashion. 

To  him  there  was  no  humour  in  the  matter  at  all;  'twas  all 
God's  Providence;  and  I  am  not  sure  but  that  he  was  not  more 
right  than  his  brother;  though  indeed  there  are  always  two 
sides  to  a  thing.  His  talk  was  less  of  myself,  and  more  of 
the  interests  I  had  served;  and  there  too  he  was  right;  for,  as 
I  have  said,  if  there  had  been  any  mistake  in  the  matter, 
good-bye  to  Catholic  hopes. 

341 


342  ODDSFISH! 

My  first  interview  with  Mr.  Chiffinch  astonished  me  most. 
When  he  had  finished  paying  compliments,  I  began  on  busi- 
ness. 

"  You  will  hardly  catch  Rumbald,"  said  I,  "  unless  you  take 
him  pretty  soon.  He  too  will  be  off  to  Holland,  I  think." 

He  shook  his  head,  smiling. 

"  I  am  sorry  not  to  be  able  to  give  you  vengeance  for  that 
cleaver-throwing;  but  you  must  wait  awhile." 

"Wait?"  cried  I. 

"  What  single  name  do  you  know  besides  that  of  Rumbald., 
which  was  certainly  involved  in  this  affair?  Why,  Mr.  Mai- 
lock,  you  yourself  have  told  me  that  he  observed  discretion  so 
far;  and  did  not  name  a  single  man." 

"Well;  there  is  Keeling,"  I  said. 

"And  what  is  Keeling?"  he  asked  with  some  contempt. 
"  A  maltster,  and  a  carpenter:  a  fine  bag  of  assassins!  And 
how  can  you  prove  anything  but  treasonable  talk?  Where 
were  the  '  swan-quills  '  and  the  '  sand  and  the  ink  '  ?  Did  you 
set  eyes  on  any  of  them  ?  " 

I  was  silent. 

"  No,  no,  Mr.  Mallock;  we  must  wait  awhile.  I  have  even 
talked  to  Jeffreys,  and  he  says  the  same.  We  must  lime  more 
birds  before  we  pull  our  twig  down.  Now,  if  you  could  lay 
your  hand  on  Keeling !  " 

He  was  right:  I  saw  that  well  enough. 

"  And  meantime,"  said  I,  smiling,  "  I  must  go  in  peril  of  my 
life.  They  surely  know  now  what  part  I  have  played  ?  " 

"  They  must  be  fools  if  they  do  not.  But  there  will  be  no 
more  cleaver-throwing  for  the  present,  if  you  take  but  reason- 
able care.  Meanwhile,  you  may  go  to  Hare  Street,  if  you  will ; 
though  I  cannot  say  I  should  advise  it.  And  I  will  look  for 
Keeling." 

Well;  I  did  not  take  his  advice.  That  was  too  much  to 
expect.  I  went  to  Hare  Street  in  April  and  remained  there  a 
couple  of  months;  but  I  do  not  propose  to  discourse  on  that 
beyond  saying  that  I  was  very  well  satisfied,  and  even  with 
Cousin  Tom  himself,  who  appeared  to  me  more  resigned  to 


ODDSFISH!  543 

have  me  as  a  son-in-law.  To  neither  of  them  could  I  say  a 
word  of  what  had  passed,  except  to  tell  Dolly  that  my  peril 
was  over  for  the  present,  and  to  thank  her  for  her  prayers. 
During  those  two  months  I  had  no  word  of  Rumbald  at  all; 
and  I  suspect  that  he  lay  very  quiet,  knowing,  after  all,  how 
little  I  knew.  If  he  went  to  Holland,  he  certainly  came  back 
again.  Then,  in  June,  once  more  a  man  came  from  Mr.  Chif- 
finch,  to  call  me  to  town.  So  here  I  sat  once  more,  with  the 
birds  singing  their  vespers,  in  the  Privy  Garden,  a  hundred 
yards  away,  and  the  river  flowing  without  the  windows,  as  if 
no  blood  had  ever  flowed  with  it. 

"  Well,"  said  Chiffinch,  when  I  was  down  in  a  chair,  "  the 
first  news  is  that  we  have  found  Keeling.  You  were  right,  or 
very  nearly.  He  is  a  joiner,  and  lives  in  the  City.  He  hath 
been  to  the  Secretary  of  the  Council,  and  will  go  to  him 
again  to-morrow." 

"  How  was  that  done  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Why,  I  sent  a  couple  of  men  to  him,"  said  the  page,  "  when 
we  had  marked  him  down;  who  so  worked  on  his  fears  that  he 
went  straight  to  my  Lord  Dartmouth;  and  my  Lord  Dart- 
mouth carried  him  to  Sir  Leoline  Jenkins.  The  Secretary 
very  properly  remarked  that  he  was  but  one  witness;  and 
Keeling  went  away  again,  to  see  if  he  can  find  another.  Well ; 
the  tale  is  that  he  hath  found  another — his  own  brother — and 
that  both  will  go  again  to  the  Secretary  to-morrow.  So  I 
thought  it  best  that  you  should  see  him  first  here,  to-night,  to 
identify  him  for  certain.'* 

"  That  is  very  good,"  I  said.  "  But,  Mr.  Chiffinch,  if  I  ap- 
pear too  publicly  in  this  matter,  I  shall  be  of  very  little  service 
to  the  King  hereafter." 

"  I  know  that  very  well,"  said  the  page.  "  And  you  shall 
not  appear  publicly  at  all,  neither  shall  your  name.  Indeed, 
the  King  hath  a  little  more  business  for  you  at  last,  in  France ; 
and  you  will  wish  perhaps  to  go  to  Rome.  So  the  best  thing 
that  you  can  do,  when  we  have  seen  that  all  is  in  order,  is  to 
wait  no  longer,  but  be  off,  and  for  a  good  while  too.  Your  life 
may  be  in  some  peril  for  the  very  particular  part  that  you 
played,  for  though  we  shall  catch,  I  think,  all  the  principal 


ODDSFISH! 

men  in  the  affair,  we  shall  not  catch  all  tHe  underlings;  and 
even  a  joiner  or  a  scavenger  for  that  matter,  if  he  be  angry 
enough,  is  enough  to  let  the  life  out  of  a  man.  And  we  can- 
not spare  you  yet,  Mr.  Mallock." 

This  seemed  to  me  both  reasonable  and  thoughtful;  and  it 
was  not  altogether  a  surprise  to  me.  Indeed  I  had  prepared 
Dolly  for  a  long  absence,  thinking  that  I  might  go  to  Rome 
again,  as  I  had  not  been  there  for  a  long  while.  Besides, 
waiting  in  England  for  the  time  laid  down  by  Tom  and  agreed 
to  by  both  of  us,  would  make  that  time  come  no  swifter;  and, 
if  there  were  work  to  be  done,  I  had  best  do  it,  before  I  had 
a  wife  to  engage  my  attention. 

But  I  sighed  a  little. 

"  Well,"  said  I;  "  and  where  is  Keeling?  " 

"  I  have  been  expecting  him  this  last  ten  minutes,"  said  he. 

Even  as  he  spoke,  a  knock  came  upon  the  door.  The  page 
cried  to  come  in;  and  there  entered,  first  a  servant  holding 
the  door,  and  then  the  little  joiner  himself,  flushed  in  his  face, 
I  supposed  with  the  excitement.  He  was  dressed  in  his  Sun- 
day clothes,  rather  ill-fitting.  He  did  not  know  me,  I  think, 
for  he  made  no  movement  of  surprise.  I  caught  Mr.  Chiffinch's 
look  of  inquiry,  and  nodded  very  slightly. 

"  Well,  sir,"  began  the  page  in  a  very  severe  tone,  "  so  you 
have  made  up  your  mind  to  evade  the  charge  of  misprision  of 
treason — that,  at  the  least !  " 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  the  man  in  a  very  timid  way.  (He  must 
have  heard  that  phrase  pretty  often  lately.) 

"  Well ;  and  you  have  found  your  other  witness  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir ;  my  own  brother,  sir." 

"Ah!     Was  he  too  in  this  detestable  affair?  " 

"  No,  sir." 

"  Well,  then ;  how  do  you  bring  him  in  ?  " 

"  Sir,"  said  the  man,  seeming  to  recover  himself  a  little,  "  I 
put  my  brother  in  a  secret  place;  and  then  caused  him  to  over- 
hear a  conversation  between  myself  and  another." 

"  Very  pretty !  very  pretty !  "  cried  the  page.  "  And  who 
was  this  other?  " 

"  Sir ;  it  was  a  Mr.  Goodenough — under-sheriff  once  of " 


ODDSFISH!  345 

I  could  not  restrain  a  start;  for  I  had  not  thought  Mr. 
Goodenough,  the  friend  of  my  Lord  Essex,  to  be  so  deep  in 
the  affair  as  this.  Keeling  saw  me  start,  I  suppose;  for  he 
looked  at  me,  and  himself  shewed  sudden  agitation. 

"  Good  evening,  Keeling,"  said  I.  "  We  have  had  a  little 
conversation  once  before." 

"  Oh !  for  God's  sake,  gentlemen !  for  God's  sake !  I  am 
already  within  an  inch  of  my  life." 

"  I  know  you  are,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch  severely,  "  and  you 
will  be  nearer  even  than  that,  if  you  do  not  speak  the  whole 
truth." 

"  Sir;  it  is  not  that  I  mean,"  cried  the  man,  in  a  very  panic 
of  terror.  "  Rumbald  hath  been " 

"  Eh?     What  is  that?  "  said  Mr.  Chiffinch. 

"  Rumbald,  sir,  the  old  Colonel,  of  the  Rye " 

"  God,  man !  We  know  all  about  Rumbald,"  said  the  page 
contemptuously.  "  What  hath  he  been  at  now  ?  " 

"  Sir ;  he  and  some  of  the  others  caught  me  but  yesterday. 
They  had  heard  some  tale  of  my  having  been  to  Mr.  Secretary, 
and " 

"  And  you  swore  you  had  not,  I  suppose,"  snarled  the  other. 

"  Sir ;  what  could  I  do  ?  Rumbald  was  all  for  despatching 
me  then  and  there.  They  caught  me  at  Wapping.  I  prayed 
them  for  God's  love  not  to  believe  such  things:  I  entreated:  I 
wept " 

"I'll  be  bound  you  did,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch.  "Well? 
And  what  then  ?  " 

"  Sir !  they  let  me  go  again." 

"  They  did?     The  damned  fools !  "  cried  Chiffinch. 

I  was  astonished  at  his  vehemence.  But,  like  his  master, 
if  there  was  one  thing  that  the  page  could  not  bear,  it  was  a 
fool.  I  made  him  a  little  sign. 

"  Keeling,"  said  I,  "  you  remember  me  well  enough.  Well ; 
I  need  not  say  that  we  know  pretty  near  everything  that  there 
is  to  know.  But  we  must  have  it  from  you,  too.  Tell  us  both 
now,  as  near  as  you  can  recollect,  every  name  to  which  you  can 
speak  with  certainty.  Remember,  we  want  no  lies.  We  had 
enough  of  them  a  while  back  in  another  plot."  (I  could  not 


S46  ODDSFISH! 

resist  that;  though  Mr.  Chiffinch  snapped  his  lips  together.) 
"  Well,  now,  take  your  time.  No,  do  not  speak.  Consider 
yourself  carefully." 

It  was,  indeed,  a  miserable  sight  to  see  this  poor  wretch  so 
hemmed  in.  The  sweet  evening  light  fell  full  upon  his  terri- 
fied eyes  and  his  working  lips,  as  he  sought  to  gather  up  the 
names.  He  was  persuaded,  I  am  sure,  that  we  were  as  gods, 
knowing  all  things — above  all,  he  feared  myself,  as  I  could 
see,  having  met  me  first  at  the  very  house  of  Rumbald,  as  if 
I  were  his  friend,  and  now  again  in  the  chamber  of  his  accuser. 
It  was  piteous  to  see  how  he  sought  to  be  very  exact  in  his 
memories,  and  not  go  by  a  hair's  breadth  beyond  the  truth. 

At  last  I  let  him  speak. 

"  Now  then,"  I  said,  "  tell  us  the  names."  (I  saw  as  I 
spoke  that  Mr.  Chiffinch  held  a  note-book  below  the  table  to 
take  them  down.) 

"  Sir,  these  for  certain.     Rumbald ;  West ;  Rumsey — 

"  Slowly,  man,  slowly,"  I  cried. 

"Rumsey;  Goodenough;  Burton;  Thompson;  Barber — those 
last  three  all  of  Wapping,  sir.  Then,  sir,  there  is  Wade, 
Nelthrop,  West,  Walcot "  he  hesitated. 

"  Well,  sir,"  demanded  Mr.  Chiffinch  very  fiercely.  "  That 
is  not  all." 

"No,  sir,  no.  ...  There  is  Hone,  a  joiner  like  my- 
self." 

"  Man,"  cried  the  page,  "  we  want  better  names  than  snivel- 
ling tradesmen  like  yourself." 

The  fellow  turned  even  paler. 

"  WeU,  sir;  but  how  can  I  tell  that " 

"  Sir,"  said  the  page  to  me  sharply,  "  call  the  guard !  " 

"  Sir,"  cried  the  poor  wretch,  "  I  will  tell  all;  indeed  I  will 
tell." 

"Well?" 

"  Sir,  the  Duke  of  Monmouth  was  in  it — at  least  we  heard 
so.  He  was  certainly  in  the  former  plot ! " 

"  And  what  was  that  ?  "  asked  the  other  very  quietly. 

"Why,  sir;  the  plot  to  assault  Whitehall;  it  is  all  one  in 
reality;  but " 


ODDSFISH!  347 

"  We  know  all  about  that/'  snapped  the  page  sharply. 
"  Well ;  and  what  other  names  ?  " 

"  Sir;  there  was  my  Lord  Russell." 

I  moved  in  my  chair.  Even  to  this  day  I  cannot  believe 
that  that  peer  was  guilty;  though  indeed  he  was  found  so  to 
be.  Mr.  Chiffinch  cast  me  a  look. 

"  Proceed,  sir/'  he  said. 

"  And  there  was  Mr.  Ferguson,  a  minister ;  and  Mr.  Wild- 
man;  and  my  Lord  Argyle  in  Scotland;  and  my  Lord  Howard 
of  Escrick;  and  Mr.  Sidney;  and  my  Lord  Essex.  I  do  not 
say,  sir,  that  all  those " 

"  There !  there :  go  on.  We  shall  test  every  word  you  say ; 
you  may  depend  upon  it.  What  other  names  have  you?  " 

"  There  was  my  Lord  Grey,  sir ;  and  Sir  Thomas  Arm- 
strong. .  .  .  Sir;  I  can  remember  no  more!  " 

"  And  a  pretty  load  on  any  man's  conscience !  "  cried  the 
virtuous  Mr.  Chiffinch.  "  And  so  all  this  nest  of  assas- 


sms- 


"  Sir ;  I  did  not  say  that.     I  said- 


"  That  is  enough ;  we  want  no  comments  and  glosses,  but 
the  bare  truth.  Well,  Keeling,  if  this  tale  be  true,  you  have 
saved  your  own  life — that  is,  if  your  fellow  murderers  do  not 
get  at  you  again.  You  have  been  in  trouble  before,  I  hear, 
too." 

"  Sir;  it  was  on  the  matter  of  the  Lord  Mayor " 

"  I  know  that  well  enough.  Well,  sir ;  so  this  is  the  tale 
you  will  tell  to-morrow  to  Mr.  Secretary." 

"  Yes,  sir,  if  I  can  remember  it  all." 

"You  will  remember  it,  I'll  warrant.  Well,  sir;  I  think 
I  have  no  more  questions  for  the  present.  Sir,  have  you  any 
questions  to  ask  this  man  ?  " 

I  shook  my  head.  I  was  near  sick  at  the  torture  the  man 
was  in. 

"  Well,  sir ;  you  may  go,"  said  the  page.  "  And  I  would 
recommend  you  and  your  brother  to  lie  very  private  to-night. 
There  must  be  no  more  evasion." 

When  he  was  gone,  Mr.  Chiffinch  turned  to  me. 


348  ODDSFISHI 

"  Well?  "  he  said.     "  What  do  you  think?  " 

"Oh!  I  think  he  speaks  the  truth,  in  the  main/'  I  said 
wearily.  "  Shall  I  be  needed  any  more ;  or  when  may  I  leave 
town?" 

"  You  must  wait,  Mr.  Mallock,  until  we  have  laid  hands  on 
them." 

It  was  not  until  the  middle  of  July  that  I  was  able  to  leave. 
On  the  eighteenth  of  June  a  proclamation  was  issued,  with 
the  names  of  some  of  the  conspirators;  and  numerous  arrests 
were  made.  One  matter  pleased  me  a  little,  and  that  was  that 
Keeling  had  been  man  enough  after  all,  to  warn  some  of  the 
humbler  folk,  who  had  been  led  into  the  affair,  of  what  he  had 
done;  and  the  most  of  these  got  clean  away.  Then  Sheppard 
came  forward  and  betrayed  three  or  four  who  had  met  in  his 
house,  as  I  had  seen  for  myself:  and  West  added  many  de- 
tails. A  second  proclamation  containing  the  names,  and  of- 
fering rewards  for  the  arrest  of  Monmouth,  my  Lord  Grey, 
Sir  Thomas  Armstrong  and  the  Reverend  Robert  Ferguson,> 
was  made  after  my  Lord  Russell's  arrest;  but  all  four  of  them 
escaped.  My  Lords  Howard  and  Essex  were  taken  on  the 
tenth  of  July;  and  two  days  later  Walcot,  Hone  and  Rouse 
were  convicted. 

As  soon  as  my  Lord  Russell's  trial  was  begun,  and  the  cer- 
tainty that  he  would  be  convicted  was  made  plain  by  my  Lord 
Howard  turning  King's  evidence,  I  left  London  with  my  man 
James.  And  before  we  were  at  Dover  the  news  came  to  us 
that  my  Lord  Essex,  in  despair,  had  cut  his  throat  in  the 
Tower.  As  for  myself,  I  was  glad  enough  to  leave ;  for  I  was 
both  sick  and  weary  of  intrigue.  It  would  be  of  a  very  dif- 
ferent sort  in  France;  and  of  a  kind  that  a  gentleman  may 
undertake  without  misgivings:  so,  though  I  was  loth  to  leave 
the  land  where  Dolly  was,  the  balance  altogether  left  me  re- 
freshed rather  than  saddened. 

It  was  a  clear  day  as  the  packet  put  out  from  Dover;  and, 
as  I  stood  on  deck,  watching  the  cliffs  recede  as  we  went,  there 
came  on  me  again  that  same  mood  that  had  fallen  on  me  as  I 


ODDSFISH!  349 

went  up  the  river  so  long  ago  from  Wapping.  Once  more  it 
appeared  to  me  as  if  I  were  in  somewhat  of  a  dream.  Those 
men  I  had  left  behind,  awaiting  trial  and  death;  Mr.  Chiffinch; 
the  King,  the  Court,  even  Dolly  herself,  appeared  to  have 
something  phantom-like  about  them.  Once  more  the  realities 
seemed  to  close  about  me  and  envelop  me — or  rather  that  great 
Reality  whom  we  name  God;  and  all  else  seemed  but  very  little 
and  trifling. 


PART    IV 


CHAPTER    I 

ONCE  more  it  was  high  summer,  a  year  afterwards,  as  I  rode 
in,  still  with  James,  thank  God!  and  three  other  men,  over 
London  Bridge. 

My  life  abroad  once  more  must  remain  undescribed.  There 
is  plenty  of  reason  against  the  telling  of  it;  and  nothing  at  all 
for  it.  One  thing  only  may  I  say,  that  I  came  last  from  Rome, 
having  stayed  over  for  the  Feast  of  the  Apostles,  and  carried 
with  me,  though  verbally  only,  some  very  particular  instruc- 
tions for  His  Royal  Highness  the  Duke  of  York  from  person- 
ages whom  he  should  respect,  if  he  did  not.  And  what  those 
counsels  were  will  appear  in  the  proper  place.  By  those  same 
personages  I  had  been  complimented  very  considerably,  and 
urged  to  yet  greater  efforts.  Briefly  with  regard  to  the  two 
Royal  Brothers,  I  was  urged  to  press  on  the  one,  and  to  re- 
strain the  other ;  for  I  heard  in  Rome  that  it  was  said  that  they 
would  listen  to  me,  if  I  observed  discretion. 

As  to  what  had  passed  in  England,  a  very  short  account 
will  suffice. 

First,  with  regard  to  the  conspirators,  a  number  had  been 
executed,  among  whom  I  suppose  must  be  reckoned  my  Lord 
Russell — an  upright  man,  I  think;  yet  one  who  had  at  least 
played  with  very  hot  fire.  Frankly,  I  do  not  believe  that  he 
aimed  ever  at  the  King's  life,  but  that  my  Lord  Howard  wit- 
nessed that  he  did,  in  order  to  save  himself.  Of  the  others 
that  were  executed,  I  think  all  deserved  it;  and  the  principal, 
I  suppose,  was  Mr.  Sidney,  that  ancient  Republican  and  Com- 
monwealth man,  who  was  undoubtedly  guilty.  Besides  him, 
my  Lord  Essex  had  killed  himself  in  prison — for  I  never  be- 
lieved the  ugly  story  of  the  bloody  razor  having  been  thrown 
out  of  his  window — and  Sir  Thomas  Armstrong  was  executed 
— and  richly  he  had  earned  it  by  a  thousand  crimes  and  de- 
baucheries— and  old  Colonel  Rumbald;  whose  fate,  I  must  al- 
low, caused  me  a  little  sorrow  (even  though  he  had  flung  a 

353 


354  ODDSFISH! 

sharp  cleaver  at  my  head),  for  he  was  very  much  more  of  a 
man  than  that  puling  treacherous  hound  my  Lord  Howard, 
who  was  taken  hiding  in  his  shirt,  up  his  own  chimney,  and 
turned  traitor  to  his  friends.  Holloway  too — a  merchant  of 
Bristol,  and  a  friend  of  Mr.  Ferguson — was  executed,  and 
several  in  Edinburgh,  of  the  Scottish  plotters  under  Argyle, 
among  whom  the  principal  was  Baillie  of  Jerviswood.  The 
torture  of  the  boot  and  the  thumbscrews  was  used  there,  I  am 
sorry  to  say;  for  they  had  plenty  of  evidence  without  it.  Of 
the  others  some  evaded  altogether,  of  whom  a  good  number 
went  to  Holland,  which  was  their  great  refuge  at  this  time, 
and  others  again  saved  their  lives  by  turning  King's  evidence. 
The  Reverend  Mr.  Ferguson  proved  himself  a  clever  fellow, 
as  indeed  I  had  thought  him,  and  a  courageous  one  too,  for 
after  attending  my  Lord  Shaftesbury  upon  his  deathbed,  he 
returned  again  to  Edinburgh,  and  there,  upon  search  being 
made  for  him,  hid  himself  in  the  very  prison  to  which  they 
wished  to  consign  him,  and  so  escaped  the  death  he  had  earned. 
With  regard  to  the  Duke  of  Monmouth,  affairs  had  taken 
a  very  strange  course;  and  His  Majesty,  as  I  think,  had  be- 
haved with  less  than  his  usual  wisdom.  Before  even  Mr.  Sid- 
ney's death,  the  Duke  had  made  his  peace,  both  with  the  King 
and  the  Duke  of  York,  and  had,  after  expressing  extraordinary 
contrition,  and  yet  denying  that  he  had  been  in  any  way  privy 
to  any  attempt  on  the  King's  life,  received  a  pardon.  But 
he  had  not  been  content  with  that;  and  so  soon  as  the  Gazette 
announced  that  it  was  so,  and  had  given  men  to  understand 
that  Monmouth  had  made  his  peace  by  turning  King's  evi- 
dence, what  must  His  Grace  do,  but  deny  it  again,  and  cause 
it  to  be  denied  too  in  all  the  coffee-houses  in  town  ?  The  King 
was  thrown  into  a  passion  by  this;  and  once  again  His  Grace 
had  to  sign  and  read  aloud  a  paper,  in  the  presence  of  wit- 
nesses and  of  the  King,  in  the  private  parlour  of  the  Duchess 
of  Portsmouth's  lodgings — (where,  it  must  be  confessed,  His 
Majesty  did  much  of  his  business  at  this  time).  But  the  paper 
was  not  explicit  enough,  and  must  be  re-written:  and  so  the 
foolish  shilly-shally  went  on — and  he  guilty  all  the  time — and 
at  last  he  evaded  them  all,  and  went  back  again  to  Holland. 


ODDSFISH!  355 

There  was  another  piece  of  news  that  had  come  to  me  lately 
that  pleased  me  better;  and  that  was  of  the  trial  of  Gates,  for 
treasonous  speaking,  and  his  condemnation  in  one  hundred 
thousand  pounds,  which  caused  him  to  be  shut  up  in  prison 
without  more  ado,  where  he  could  do  no  more  mischief.  In- 
deed his  credit  was  all  gone  now,  thank  God!  and  all  that  he 
had  to  do  in  prison  was  to  prepare  himself  for  his  whippings 
which  he  got  a  year  later.  A  few  months  earlier  too,  the  four 
Popish  lords  that  had  been  left  in  the  Tower  were  released 
again,  which  I  was  very  glad  to  hear  of. 

Other  matters  too  had  passed;  but  I  think  I  have  said 
enough  to  shew  how  affairs  stood  in  the  month  of  July  when 
I  came  back  to  England — with  the  exception  of  what  I  shall 
relate  presently  as  of  my  own  experience. 

The  evening  was  as  bright  and  fair  as  that  on  which  I  had 
come  back  to  London  near  two  years  and  a  half  ago,  with  so 
heavy  a  heart,  to  find  Dolly  at  Court;  but  this  time  the  heavi- 
ness was  all  gone.  I  had  had  letters  from  her  continually, 
and  all  those  I  carried  with  me.  She  told  me  that  her  father 
seemed  a  little  moody,  now  and  again;  but  I  did  not  care  very 
greatly  about  that.  He  could  be  as  moody  as  he  liked,  if  he 
but  let  her  and  me  alone.  It  was  less  than  a  year  now  from 
my  twenty-eighth  birthday,  which  was  the  period  that  had 
been  fixed. 

Now  a  piece  of  news  had  reached  me  at  Dover  that  made  me 
pretty  content;  and  that  was  that  His  Majesty  desired  me  to 
have  lodgings  now  in  Whitehall.  These  were  very  hard  to 
come  by,  except  a  man  had  great  influence;  and  I  was  happy 
to  think  that  such  as  I  had  was  from  the  King  himself.  So  I 
did  not  return  northwards  this  time  from  the  Strand,  but  held 
on,  and  so  to  the  gate  of  Whitehall.  Here  I  was  stopped  and 
asked  my  name. 

I  gave  it ;  and  the  officer  saluted  me  very  civilly. 

"  Your  lodgings  are  ready,  sir,"  said  he.  "  Mr.  Chiffinch 
was  very  urgent  about  them.  And  he  bade  me  tell  you  you 
would  find  visitors  there,  if  you  came  before  eight  o'clock." 

It  was  now  scarcely  gone  seven;  but  I  thought  very  little 


356  ODDSFISH! 

of  my  visitors,  supposing  they  might  perhaps  be  Mr.  Chiffinch 
himself  and  a  friend:  so  I  inquired  very  leisurely  where  the 
lodgings  were  situate. 

"  They  are  my  Lord  Peterborough's  old  lodgings,  sir/'  said 
the  man.  "  He  hath  moved  elsewhere.  They  look  out  upon 
the  Privy  Garden  and  the  bowling-green;  or,  to  be  more  close, 
on  the  trees  between  them." 

This  was  a  fine  piece  of  news  indeed;  for  these  lodgings 
were  among  the  best.  I  was  indeed  become  a  person  of  im- 
portance. 

There  were  two  entrances  to  these  lodgings — one  from  the 
Stone  Gallery,  and  the  other  from  the  garden;  but  that  into 
the  garden  was  only  a  little  door,  whose  use  was  not  greatly 
encouraged,  because  of  the  personages  that  walked  there;  so 
I  went  up  the  Stone  Gallery,  between  all  the  books  and  the 
cabinets,  and  so  to  my  own  door;  with  my  James  behind  me. 
My  other  men  I  bade  follow  when  they  had  bestowed  the 
horses  and  found  their  own  quarters. 

It  was  a  fine  entrance,  with  a  new  shield  over  the  door; 
lately  scraped  white,  for  the  reception  of  my  own  arms.  I 
knocked  upon  it,  and  a  fellow  opened;  and  when  I  had  told 
him  my  name,  he  let  me  through;  and  I  went  upstairs  to  the 
parlour  that  looked  over  the  garden;  and  there,  to  my  happi- 
ness were  my  visitors.  For  they  were  none  other  than  my 
dear  love  herself  and  her  maid. 

I  cannot  tell  what  that  was  to  me,  to  find  her  there.  .  .  . 
The  maid  was  sent  into  the  little  writing-room,  next  door,  into 
which  my  visitors  would  usually  be  shewn;  and  we  two  sat 
down  on  the  window-seat.  Dolly  looked  not  a  day  older :  she 
was  in  a  fine  dress. 

"  See,"  she  said,  "  you  have  caught  me  again  at  Court !  Will 
you  send  me  away  again  this  time  ?  " 

She  told  me  presently  that  she  and  her  father  were  come 
up  to  town  for  a  few  days;  but  must  be  gone  again  directly. 
They  had  written  to  Mr.  Chiffinch  demanding  news  of  me,  and 
when  should  I  be  at  liberty  to  come  to  Hare  Street;  and  he 
had  told  them  that  at  anyrate  not  yet  for  a  while,  and  that  they 
had  best  come  and  see  me  in  my  new  lodgings.  I  was  sorry 


ODDSFISH!  357 

that  he  had  said  I  could  not  go  to  Hare  Street  for  the  present 
— though  I  had  expected  no  less ;  but  I  soon  forgot  it  again  in 
her  dear  presence. 

"  You  are  a  great  man,  now,  I  suppose,"  she  said  presently, 
"  too  great  to  see  to  the  pigs  any  longer.  We  have  no  such 
rooms  as  this  at  Hare  Street." 

They  were  indeed  fine;  and  we  went  through  them  together. 
They  were  all  furnished  from  roof  to  floor;  there  were  some 
good  tapestries  and  pictures;  and  the  windows,  as  the  officer 
had  said,  looked  out  for  the  most  part  upon  the  trees  beneath 
which  so  long  ago  I  had  watched  ladies  walking.  But  I  told 
her  that  I  loved  my  panelled  chamber  at  Hare  Street,  and  the 
little  parlour,  with  the  poor  Knights  of  the  Grail,  who  rode 
there  for  ever  and  never  attained  their  quest,  more  than  all 
Whitehall.  Then  I  kissed  her  again,  for  perhaps  the  thirtieth 
time;  and,  as  I  was  doing  so  Cousin  Tom  came  in. 

"  Ah !  "  said  he,  "  I  have  caught  you  then !  "  But  he  said 
it  without  much  merriment. 

If  Dolly  was  no  older,  her  father  was.  There  were  grey 
hairs  in  his  eyebrows,  for  that  was  all  that  I  could  see  of  his 
hair,  since  he  wore  a  periwig;  and  his  face  appeared  a  little 
blotchy. 

I  met  him  however  with  cordiality,  and  congratulated  him 
on  his  looks.  He  sat  down,  and  presently,  to  my  astonish- 
ment, he  too  opened  out  upon  my  prospects,  though  in  a  very 
different  manner  from  Dolly. 

"  You  are  a  great  man  now,"  he  said,  "  in  these  fine  lodg- 
ings. I  wonder  His  Majesty  hath  not  made  you  at  least  a 
knight." 

I  was  a  little  angry  at  his  manner.  He  said  it  not  pleas- 
antly at  all;  but  as  if  he  found  fault.  I  determined  I  would 
not  meet  his  ambitions  at  all. 

"  My  dear  Cousin,"  said  I,  "  indeed  I  am  not  a  knight;  and 
have  no  hope  of  being  so.  His  Majesty  hath  a  thousand  men 
more  competent  than  I." 

"  Then  why  hath  he  given  you  these  lodgings  ?  "  said  he, 
with  a  sharp  look. 

I  shrugged  my  shoulders. 


358  ODDSFISH! 

"  I  am  of  some  convenience  to  His  Majesty;  and  the  moi 
so  if  I  am  near  him.     I  suppose  that  these  lodgings  fell  vacant 
in  the  nick  of  time." 

He  looked  at  me  very  earnestly.  He  had,  of  course,  no  ide* 
of  in  what  matters  I  was  engaged:  I  might  have  been  a  mer< 
valet  for  all  he  knew. 

"  That  is  so  ?"  he  said. 

"  I  have  no  reason  to  think  otherwise,"  I  answered  him. 

Well;  it  was  growing  late;  and  I  had  not  supped,  as  Dolb 
presently  remembered;  it  was  near  eight  o'clock,  and  aftei 
that  time  there  would  be  formalities  at  the  gate  as  they  went 
out.  So  they  took  their  leave  at  last;  and  I  kissed  Dolly  for 
the  thirty-first  time,  and  went  downstairs  with  them,  and 
watched  them  down  the  gallery ;  they  having  promised  to  come 
again  next  day. 

I  had  scarcely  done  supper  and  looked  about  me  a  little, 
when  Mr.  Chiffinch's  name  was  brought  to  me;  and  I  went  to 
see  him  in  the  little  parlour  and  bring  him  through  to  what 
would  be  my  private  closet — so  great  was  I  become!  He 
looked  older;  and  I  told  him  so. 

"Well;  so  I  am,"  said  he.  "And  so  are  we  all.  You  will 
be  astonished  when  you  see  His  Majesty." 

"  Is  he  so  much  older  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  He  has  aged  five  years  in  one,"  said  he. 

We  talked  presently  (after  looking  through  my  lodgings 
again,  to  see  if  all  were  as  it  should  be,  and  after  my  thanking 
Mr.  Chimnch  for  the  pains  he  had  put  himself  to),  first  of 
France  and  then  of  Rome.  He  shewed  himself  very  astute 
when  we  spoke  of  Rome. 

"  I  do  not  wish  to  pry,"  he  said,  "  but  I  hope  to  God's  sake 
that  the  Holy  Father  hath  given  you  a  commission  to  His 
Royal  Highness,  to  bid  him  hold  himself  more  quiet.  He  will 
ruin  all,  if  he  be  not  careful." 

"  Why;  how  is  that?  "  said  I. 

"  Ah !  you  ecclesiastics,"  he  cried — "  for  I  count  you  half 
an  one  at  least,  in  spite  of  your  pretty  cousin — you  are  more 


ODDSFISH!  359 

close  than  any  of  us!  Well;  I  will  tell  you  as  if  you  did  not 
know." 

He  put  his  fingers  together,  in  his  old  manner. 

"  First,"  said  he,  "  he  is  Lord  High  Admiral  again.  I  count 
that  very  rash.  We  are  Protestants,  we  English,  you  know; 
and  we  like  not  a  Papist  to  be  our  guard-in-chief." 

"  You  will  have  to  put  up  with  a  Papist  as  a  King,  some 
day,"  said  I. 

"  Why  I  suppose  so — though  I  would  not  have  been  so  sure 
two  years  ago.  But  a  King  is  another  matter  from  an  High 
Admiral." 

"  Well;  what  else  has  he  done?  "  I  asked. 

"  He  hath  been  readmitted  to  the  Council,  in  the  very  face 
of  the  Test  Act  too.  But  it  is  how  he  bears  himself  and  speaks 
that  is  the  worst  of  all.  He  carries  himself  and  his  religion 
as  openly  as  he  can ;  and  does  all  that  is  in  his  power  to  relieve 
the  Papists  of  disabilities.  That  is  very  courageous,  I  know; 
but  it  is  not  very  shrewd.  God  knows  where  he  will  stop  if 
once  he  is  on  the  throne.  I  think  he  will  not  be  there  long." 

I  said  nothing^  for  indeed  my  instructions  were  on  those 
very  points;  and  I  knew  them  all  as  well  as  Chiffinch,  and,  I 
think,  better. 

He  spoke,  presently,  of  myself. 

"  As  for  you,  Mr.  Mallock,  I  need  not  tell  you  how  high  you 
are  in  favour  here.  Si  monumentum  reqmris,  circumspice  " ; 
and  he  waved  his  hands  at  the  rich  rooms. 

"  His  Majesty  is  very  good,"  I  said. 

"  His  Majesty  hath  a  peerage  for  you,  if  you  want  it.  He 
said  he  had  made  too  many  grocers  and  lickspittles  into  knights, 
to  make  you  one." 

I  cannot  deny  that  to  hear  that  news  pleased  me.  Yet  even 
then  I  hesitated. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  said  I  at  last,  "  if  you  mean  what  you  say, 
I  have  something  to  answer  to  that." 

"Well?"  said  he. 

"  Let  me  have  one  year  more  of  obscurity.  I  may  be  able 
to  do  much  more  that  way.  In  one  year  from  now  I  shall  be 
married,  as  I  told  you.  Well,  when  I  have  a  wife  she  must 


360  ODDSFISH! 

come  to  town,  and  make  acquaintances ;  and  so  I  shall  be  known 
in  any  case.  Let  me  have  it  then,  if  I  want  it — as  a  wedding- 
gift;  so  that  she  shall  come  as  My  Lady.  And  I  will  do  what 
I  can  then,  in  His  Majesty's  service,  more  publicly." 

"  What  if  His  Majesty  is  dead  before  that?  "  said  he,  re- 
garding me  closely. 

"  Then  we  will  go  without,"  said  I. 

He  nodded;  and  said  no  more. 

It  was  strange  to  lie  down  that  night  in  a  great  room, 
four  posts  and  all  their  hangings  about  me,  with  my  Lord 
Peterborough's  arms  emblazoned  on  the  ceiling;  and  to  know 
that  it  was  indeed  I,  Roger  Mallock,  who  lay  there,  with  a  man 
within  call;  and  a  coronet,  if  I  would  have  it,  within  reach. 
It  was  not  till  then,  I  think,  that  I  understood  how  swift  had 
been  my  rise;  for  here  was  I,  but  just  twenty-seven  years  old, 
and  in  England  but  the  better  part  of  six  years.  Yet,  even 
then,  more  than  half  my  thoughts  were  of  Dolly,  and  of  how 
she  would  look  in  a  peeress'  robes.  I  even  determined  what 
my  title  should  be — taken  from  my  French  estates  in  the  vil- 
lage of  Malmaison,  in  Normandy>  so  foolish  and  trifling  are  a 
man's  thoughts  at  such  a  time.  One  thing,  however,  I  re- 
solved; and  that  was  to  say  nothing  at  all  of  all  this  either  to 
Dolly  or  her  father.  It  should  be  a  wedding  gift  to  the  one, 
and  a  consolation  to  the  other;  for  dearly  would  my  Cousin 
Tom  love  to  speak  of  his  son-in-law  the  Viscount,  or  even  the 
plain  Lord  Malmaison.  As  for  His  Majesty's  death  before 
another  year,  I  thought  nothing  of  that;  for  what  young  man 
of  twenty-seven  years  of  age  thinks  ever  that  anyone  will  die  ? 
Even  should  he  die  too — which  I  prayed  God  might  not  be  yet ! 
— there  was  His  Royal  Highness  to  follow;  and  I  had  served 
him,  all  things  considered,  pretty  near  as  well  as  his  brother. 

So,  then,  I  lay  in  thought,  hearing  a  fountain  play  some- 
where without  my  windows,  and  the  rustle  of  the  wind  in  the 
limes  that  stood  along  the  Privy  Garden.  I  heard  midnight 
strike  from  the  Clock-Tower  at  the  further  end  of  the  palace, 
before  I  slept;  and  presently  after  the  cry  of  the  watchman 
that  "  all  was  well,  and  a  fair  night." 


CHAPTER    II 

IT  was  not  until  the  third  day  after  my  coming  to  town  that 
I  had  audience  of  the  Duke — in  the  evening  after  supper, 
having  bidden  good-bye  that  morning,  with  a  very  heavy  heart, 
to  my  cousins,  at  Aldgate,  whither  I  had  escorted  them.  I 
had  promised  Dolly  I  would  come  when  I  could ;  but  God  knew 
when  that  would  be ! 

Even  by  then,  I  think,  I  had  become  accustomed  to  my 
new  surroundings.  I  had  made  no  friends  indeed,  for  that 
was  expressly  contrary  to  my  desires,  since  a  man  on  secret 
service  must  be  very  slow  to  do  so;  but  I  had  made  a  number 
of  acquaintances  even  in  that  short  time,  and  had  renewed 
some  others.  I  had  had  a  word  or  two  with  Sir  George  Jef- 
freys, now  a  long  time  Lord  Chief  Justice,  in  Scroggs'  old 
place;  and  found  him  a  very  brilliant  kind  of  man,  of  an  ex- 
traordinary handsomeness,  and  no  less  extraordinary  power — 
not  at  all  brutal  in  manner,  as  I  had  thought,  but  liker  to  a 
very  bright  sword,  at  once  sharp  and  heavy:  and  sharp  and 
heavy  indeed  men  found  him  when  they  looked  at  him  from 
the  dock.  It  was  in  Mr.  Chiffinch's  closet  that  I  was  made 
known  to  him.  I  had  spoken  too  with  my  Lord  Halifax — 
another  brilliant  fellow,  very  satirical  and  witty,  for  which 
the  King  loved  him,  though  all  the  world  guessed,  and  the 
King,  I  think  knew,  that  his  opposition  to  our  cause  was  so 
hot  as  even  to  keep  him  in  correspondence  with  the  Duke  of 
Monmouth,  safe  away  in  Holland.  At  least  that  was  the 
talk  in  the  coffee-houses.  He,  like  the  Lord  Keeper  North, 
hated  a  Papist  like  the  Devil,  and  all  his  ways  and  wishes. 
He  said  of  my  Lord  Rochester,  now  made  president  of  the 
Council — a  post  of  immense  dignity  and  no  power  at  all — 
that  "  he  was  kicked  upstairs,"  which  was  a  very  precise  de- 
scription of  the  matter. 

I  was  taken  straight  through  into  the  Duke's  private  closet, 

361 


362  ODDSFISH! 

where  he  awaited  me;  and,  by  the  rarest  chance  His  Majesty 
was  just  about  to  take  his  leave,  and  they  had  me  in  before 
he  was  gone. 

I  was  very  deeply  shocked  by  His  Majesty's  appearance. 
He  was  standing  below  a  pair  of  candles  when  I  came  in,  and 
his  face  was  all  in  shadow;  but  when,  after  I  had  saluted  the 
two,  he  moved  out  presently,  I  could  see  how  fallen  his  face 
was,  and  how  heavily  lined.  Since  it  was  evening  too,  and  he 
had  not  shaved  since  morning  I  could  see  a  little  frostiness, 
as  it  were,  upon  his  chin.  He  dyed  his  eyebrows  and  mous- 
taches, I  suppose,  for  these  were  as  black  as  ever.  His  mel- 
ancholy eyes  had  a  twinkle  in  them,  as  he  looked  at  me. 

"  Well,"  said  he,  "  so  here  is  our  hero  back  again — come  to 
pay  his  respects  to  the  rising  sun,  I  suppose."  (But  he  said 
it  very  pleasantly,  without  any  irony.) 

"  Why,  Sir,"  said  I,  "  I  have  always  understood  that  there  is 
neither  rising  nor  setting  with  England's  sun;  but  that  it  is 
always  in  mid-heaven.  The  King  never  dies;  and  the  King 
can  do  no  wrong." 

(Such  was  the  manner  in  which  we  spoke  at  Court  in  those 
days — very  foolish  and  bombastic,  no  doubt.) 

"  Hark  to  that,  brother,"  said  the  King;  "there  is  a  pretty 
compliment  to  us  both!  It  is  to  neither  of  us  that  Mr.  Mai- 
lock  is  loyal;  but  to  the  Crown  only." 

"  It  is  that  which  we  all  serve,  Sir,"  said  I ;  "  even  Your 
Majesty." 

The  King  smiled. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  I  must  be  off  while  you  two  plot,  I  sup- 
pose. Come  and  see  me  too,  Mr.  Mallock;  when  you  have 
done  all  your  duties." 

I  took  him  to  the  door  of  the  closet  where  the  servants  were 
waiting  for  him ;  and  even  his  gait  seemed  to  me  older. 

Now  James  had  very  little — (though  no  Stuart  could  have 
none) — of  his  family's  charm.  He  looked  no  older,  no  sharper 
and  no  lighter  than  a  year  ago:  and  he  had  learned  nothing 
from  adversity,  as  I  presently  understood.  He  very  gra- 
ciously made  me  sit  down;  but  in  even  that  the  condescension 
was  evident — not  as  his  brother  did  it. 


ODDSFISH!  363 

"  You  have  been  to  Rome,  again,"  he  said  pretty  soon,  when 
he  had  told  me  how  he  did,  and  how  the  King  was  not  so 
well  as  he  had  been.  "  And  what  news  do  you  bring  with 
you  ?  " 

I  told  him  first  of  the  Holy  Father's  health,  and  delivered  a 
few  compliments  from  one  or  two  of  the  Cardinals,  and  spoke 
of  three  or  four  general  matters  of  the  Court  there.  He 
nodded  and  asked  some  questions ;  but  I  could  see  that  he  was 
thinking  of  something  else. 

"  But  you  have  more  to  say  to  me,  have  you  not  ?  "  said 

he.  "  I  had  a  letter  from  the  Cardinal  Secretary "  he 

paused. 

"  Yes,  Sir,"  said  I.  "  The  Holy  Father  was  graciously 
pleased  to  put  me  at  Your  Royal  Highness*  disposal,  if  you 
should  wish  to  know  His  Holiness'  mind  on  one  or  two  af- 
fairs." 

I  put  it  like  this,  as  gently  as  I  could;  for  indeed  I  had 
something  very  like  a  scolding,  in  my  pocket,  for  him.  He 
saw  through  it,  however,  for  he  lowered  his  eyelids  a  little  sul- 
lenly as  his  way  was,  when  he  was  displeased. 

"  Well;  let  us  hear  it,"  said  he.  "  What  have  I  done  wrong 
now? ' 

This  would  never  do.  His  Royal  Highness  resembled  a 
mule  in  this,  at  least,  that  the  harder  he  was  pushed,  the  more 
he  kicked  and  jibbed.  He  must  be  drawn  forward  by  some 
kind  of  a  carrot,  if  he  were  to  be  moved.  I  made  haste  to 
draw  out  my  finest. 

"  His  Holiness  is  inexpressibly  consoled,"  I  said,  "  by  Your 
Royal  Highness'  zeal  for  religion,  and  courage  too,  in  that 
course.  He  bade  me  tell  you  that  he  could  say  his  Nunc 
Dimittis,  if  he  could  but  see  such  zeal  and  obedience  in  the 
rest  of  Europe." 

The  Duke  smiled  a  little;  and  I  could  see  that  he  was 
pleased.  (It  was  really  necessary  to  speak  to  him  in  this 
manner:  he  would  have  resented  any  such  freedom  or  infor- 
mality as  I  used  towards  the  King.) 

"  These  are  the  sweets  before  the  medicine,"  he  said.  "  And 
now  for  the  draught." 


364  ODDSFISH! 

"  Sir/'  I  said,  "  there  is  no  draught.  There  is  but  a  word 
of  warning  His  Holiness " 

"  Well;  call  it  what  you  will.     What  is  it,  Mr.  Mallock?  " 

I  told  him  then,  as  gently  as  I  could  (interlarding  all  with 
a  great  many  compliments)  that  His  Holiness  was  anxious 
that  matters  should  not  go  too  fast ;  that  there  was  still  a  great 
deal  of  disaffection  in  England,  and  that,  though  the  pendulum 
had  swung  it  would  surely  swing  back  again,  though,  please 
God!  never  so  far  as  it  had  been;  and  that  meantime  a  great 
deal  of  caution  should  be  used.  For  example,  it  was  a  won- 
derful thing  that  His  Royal  Highness  should  be  Lord  High 
Admiral  of  the  Fleet  again;  but  that  great  care  should  be  ob- 
served lest  the  people  should  be  frightened  that  a  Papist 
should  have  the  guarding  of  them;  or  again,  that  the  Test  Act 
should  be  set  aside  in  His  Royal  Highness'  case,  yet  the  ex- 
ception should  not  be  pressed  too  far.  All  this  my  Lord 
Cardinal  Howard  had  expressly  told  me;  but  there  was  one 
yet  more  difficult  matter  to  speak  of;  and  this  I  reserved  for  the 
moment. 

"  Well,"  said  the  Duke,  when  I  had  got  so  far,  "  I  am 
obliged  to  His  Holiness  for  his  solicitude;  and  I  shall  give  th< 
advice  my  closest  attention.  Was  there  anything  more,  Mr 
Mallock?" 

He  had  received  it,  I  thought,  with  unusual  humility;  so  I 
made  haste  to  bring  out  the  last  of  what  I  had  to  say. 

"  There  is  no  more,  Sir,"  I  said,  "  in  substance.     There  was 
only  that  His   Eminence  thought  perhaps  that  the  extraor- 
dinary courage  and  fervour  of  Your  Royal  Highness'  Jesui 
advisers  led  them  to  neglect  discretion  a  little." 

"  Ah !  His  Eminence  thought  that,  did  he  ?  "  said  James 
meditatively. 

His  Eminence  had  said  it  a  great  deal  more  strongly  than 
that;  but  I  dared  not  put  it  as  he  had. 

"  Yes,  Sir,"  I  said.  "  They  are  largely  under  French  in 
fluence;  and  French  circumstances  are  not  at  all  as  in  Eng 
land.  The  Society  is  a  little  apt  at  present — 

Then  the  Duke  lost  his  self-command;  and  his  heavy  face 
lightened  with  a  kind  of  anger. 


ODDSFISH!  365 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  you  have  said  enough.  I  do  not 
blame  you  at  all;  but  His  Eminence  (with  all  possible  respect 
to  him !)  does  not  know  what  he  is  talking  about.  These  good 
Fathers  have  imperilled  their  lives  for  England;  if  any  have 
a  right  to  speak,  it  is  they;  and  I  would  sooner  listen  to  their 
counsel  than  to  all  the  Cardinals  in  Christendom.  They  know 
England,  as  Rome  cannot;  and,  while  I  allow  myself  to  be  led 
by  the  nose  by  no  man  living,  I  would  sooner  do  what  they 
advise  than  what  a  Roman  Cardinal  advises.  It  is  not  by 
subtlety  or  plotting  that  the  Faith  will  be  commended  in  this 
country;  but  by  courageous  action;  and  since  God  has  placed 
me  here  in  the  position  that  I  hold,  it  is  to  Him  alone  that  I 
must  answer.  You  can  send  that  message  back  to  Rome,  sir, 
as  soon  as  you  like." 

Now  there  was  James,  true  to  himself;  and  I  could  see  that 
further  words  would  be  wasted.  I  smoothed  him  down  as  well 
as  I  could;  and  I  was  happy  to  see  that  it  was  not  with  my- 
self that  he  was  angry — (for  he  made  that  very  plain) — for 
that  I  still  might  hope  he  would  listen  to  me  later  on.  But 
anything  further  at  that  time  was  useless;  so  I  prepared  to 
take  my  leave ;  and  he  made  no  opposition. 

"  Well,  sir,"  he  said,  "  you  have  given  your  message  very 
well ;  and  I  thank  you  for  not  wrapping  it  up.  You  have  done 
very  well  in  France,  I  hear." 

"  His  Majesty  hath  been  pleased  to  think  so,"  I  said. 

Then  his  face  lightened  again. 

"  Ah !  "  said  he,  "  when  the  time  comes,  we  shall  shew  Eu- 
rope what  England  can  do.  We  shall  astonish  even  Rome 
itself,  I  think.  We  have  long  been  without  the  light;  but  it  is 
dawning  once  more,  and  when  the  sun  is  indeed  risen,  as  His 
Majesty  said,  men  will  be  amazed  at  us.  We  shall  need  no 
more  help  from  France  then.  The  whole  land  will  be  a  garden 
of  the  Lord." 

His  face  itself  was  alight  with  enthusiasm;  and  I  wondered 
how,  once  more  in  this  man,  as  in  many  others,  the  Church 
shewed  itself  able  to  inspire  and  warm,  yet  without  that  full 
moral  conversion  that  she  desires.  He  was  not  yet  by  any 
means  free  from  the  sins  of  the  flesh  and  from  pride — (which 


366  ODDSFISH! 

two  things  so  commonly  go  together) — he  could  not  be  re- 
leased from  these  until  humiliation  should  come  on  him — as 
it  did,  and  made  him  very  like  a  Saint  before  the  end.  Mean- 
while it  was  something  to  thank  God  for  that  he  should  be  so 
whole-hearted  and  zealous,  even  though  he  lacked  discretion. 

As  I  was  going  down  the  stairs  whom  should  I  run  into, 
coming  up,  but  Father  Huddleston,  who  stopped  to  speak 
with  me.  I  did  not  know  him  very  well;  though  I  had  talked 
with  him  once  or  twice.  He  was  the  one  priest  of  English 
blood  who  was  tolerated  openly  and  legally  in  England,  and 
who  had  leave  to  wear  his  habit,  for  his  saving  of  the  King's 
life  after  the  battle  of  Worcester. 

"  So  you  are  home  again,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said  in  his 
cheery  voice. 

I  told  him  Yes ;  and  that  I  was  come  for  a  good  time. 

"  And  His  Majesty?  "  he  said.  "  Have  you  seen  him?  He 
is  terribly  aged,  is  he  not,  this  last  year." 

This  priest  was  a  very  pleasant-looking  fellow,  going  on 
for  sixty  years  old,  I  would  say;  and,  except  for  his  dress, 
resembled  some  fine  old  country-squire.  He  wore  a  great 
brown  periwig  that  set  off  his  rosy  face.  He  was  not,  I  think, 
a  very  spiritual  man,  though  good  and  conscientious,  and  he 
meddled  not  at  all  with  politics  or  even  with  religion.  He 
went  his  way,  and  let  men  alone,  which,  though  not  very  apos- 
tolic, is  at  least  very  prudent  and  peaceful.  He  was  fond  of 
country  sports,  I  had  heard,  and  of  the  classics ;  and  spent  his 
time  pretty  equally  in  them  both. 

"  Yes,*'  said  I ;  "  the  King  is  a  year  older  since  this  time 
twelvemonth." 

He  laughed  loudly. 

"  There  speaks  the  courtier,"  he  said.  "  And  you  come  from 
the  Duke?" 

I  told  him  Yes. 

"  And  I  go  to  him.     Well ;  good  day  to  you,  Mr.  Mallock." 

It  was  very  pleasant  to  me,  this  new  air  in  which  I  lived. 
Here  was  I,  come  from  the  Duke  who  had  received  me  as 
never  before,  with  a  deference — (if  the  Duke's  behaviour  to 


ODDSFISH!  367 

any  man  could  be  called  that) — such  as  he  had  never  shewn 
me,  being  greeted  too  by  this  priest  who  up  to  this  time  had 
never  manifested  much  interest  in  me,  going  back  to  my  fine 
lodgings  and  my  half-dozen  servants.  Indeed  it  was  a  great 
change.  As  I  went  past  the  sentry  a  minute  or  two  later,  he 
saluted  me,  and  I  returned  it,  feeling  very  happy  that  I  was 
come  to  be  of  some  consideration  at  last,  with  so  much  more, 
too,  in  the  background  of  which  others  never  dreamed. 

I  had  my  first  audience  of  His  Majesty  a  week  later,  and 
confirmed  my  impressions  of  his  ageing  very  rapidly.  He  re- 
ceived me  with  extraordinary  kindness ;  but,  as  to  the  first  part 
of  the  interview,  since  this  concerned  private  affairs  in  France, 
I  shall  give  no  description.  It  was  the  end  only  that  was  of 
general  interest ;  and  one  part  of  it  very  particular,  since  I  was 
able  to  speak  my  mind  to  him  again. 

He  was  standing  looking  out  of  the  window  when  he  said 
his  last  word  on  France,  and  kept  silent  a  little.  He  stood 
as  upright  as  ever,  but  there  was  an  air  in  him  as  if  he  felt 
the  weight  of  his  years,  though  they  were  scarcely  fifty-four 
in  number.  His  hand  nearest  to  me  hung  down  listlessly, 
with  the  lace  over  it.  When  he  spoke,  he  put  into  words  the 
very  thing  that  I  was  thinking. 

"  I  am  getting  an  old  man,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  sud- 
denly turning  on  me;  "and  I  would, that  affairs  were  better 
settled  than  they  are.  They  are  better  than  they  were — I  do 
not  dispute  that — but  these  endless  little  matters  distress  me. 
Why  cannot  folk  be  at  peace  and  charitable  one  with  another  ?  " 

I  said  nothing;  but  I  knew  of  what  he  was  thinking.  It 
was  the  old  business  of  religion  which  so  much  entered  into 
everything  and  distorted  men's  judgments:  for  he  had  just 
been  speaking  of  His  Grace  of  Monmouth. 

"  Why  cannot  men  serve  God  according  to  their  own  con- 
science? "  he  said,  "  and  leave  others  to  do  the  same." 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  there  is  but  one  Church  of  God  where  men 
are  at  unity  with  one  another." 

He  paid  no  attention  to  that;  and  his  face  suddenly  con- 
tracted strangely. 


368  ODDSFISH! 


"  Did  you  hear  any  gossip — I  mean  about  myself — after  the 
death  of  the  Jesuit  Fathers  ?  " 

I  told  him  No ;  for  I  had  heard  nothing  of  it  at  that  time. 

He  came  and  sat  down,  motioning  me  too  to  a  seat;  for  I 
had  stood  up  when  he  did. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  it  is  certainly  strange  enough,  and  I 
should  not  have  believed  it,  if  it  had  not  happened  to  myself." 

Again  he  stopped  with  an  odd  look. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  here  is  the  tale;  and  I  will  swear  to  it. 
You  know  how  unwilling  I  was  to  sign  the  death-warrants." 

"  Yes,  Sir;  all  the  world  knows  that." 

"  And  all  the  world  knows  that  I  did  it,"  he  said  with  a 
vehement  kind  of  bitterness.  "Yes;  I  did  it,  for  there  was 
no  way  out  of  it  that  I  could  see.  It  was  they  or  the  Crown 
must  go.  But  I  never  intended  it;  and  I  swore  I  would  not." 

"  Yes,  Sir,"  I  said  quietly,  "  you  said  so  to  me." 

"  Did  I  ?  Well,  I  said  so  to  many.  I  even  swore  that  my 
right  hand  might  rot  off  if  I  did  it." 

His  heavy  face  was  all  working.  I  had  seldom  seen  him  so 
much  moved. 

"  Yes,"  he  said,  "  that  was  what  I  swore.  Well,  Mr.  Mai- 
lock,  did  you  ever  hear  what  followed  ?  " 

"  No,  Sir,"  I  said  again. 

"  It  was  within  that  week,  that  when  I  awakened  one  morn- 
ing I  felt  my  right  hand  to  be  all  stiff.  I  thought  nothing  of 
it  at  the  first;  I  believed  I  must  have  strained  it  at  tennis. 
Well;  that  day  I  said  nothing  to  anyone;  but  I  rubbed  some 
ointment  on  my  hand  that  night." 

He  stopped  again,  lifted  his  right  hand  a  little  and  looked 
at  it,  as  if  meditating  on  it.  It  was  a  square  strong  man's 
hand,  but  very  well  shaped  and  very  brown ;  it  had  a  couple  of 
great  rings  on  the  fingers. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  the  next  morning  a  sore  had  broken  out 
on  it;  and  I  sent  for  a  physician.  He  told  me  it  was  nothing 
but  a  little  humour  in  the  blood,  and  he  bade  me  take  care  of 
my  diet.  I  said  nothing  to  anyone  else,  and  bade  him  not 
speak  of  it;  and  that  night  I  put  on  some  more  ointment;  and 
the  next  morning  another  sore  was  broken  out,  between  the 


ODDSFISH!  369 

finger  and  the  thumb,  so  that  I  could  not  hold  a  pen  without 
pain;  and  it  was  then,  for  the  first  time,  that  I  remembered 
what  I  had  sworn." 

He  had  his  features  under  command  again,  but  I  could  see, 
as  he  looked  at  me,  that  his  eyes  were  still  full  of  emotion. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Mallock ;  I  was  in  a  great  way  at  that ;  but  yet 
I  dared  tell  nobody.  I  wore  my  glove  all  day,  so  that  no  one 
should  see  my  hand;  and  that  evening  when  I  went  in  to  see 
Her  Majesty,  what  should  I  see  hanging  up  on  the  wall  of 
the  chamber  but  the  pictures  of  the  five  men  whose  warrants 
I  had  signed !  " 

Once  more  he  stopped. 

Now  I  remembered  that  I  had  heard  a  little  gossip  as  to  the 
King's  hand  about  that  time;  but  it  had  been  so  little  that  I 
had  thought  nothing  of  it.  It  was  very  strange  to  hear  it  all 
now  from  himself. 

"  Well,  sir,"  he  said,  "  I  am  not  ashamed  to  say  what  I  did. 
I  kissed  their  pictures  one  by  one,  and  I  begged  them  to  in- 
tercede for  me.  The  next  morning,  Mr.  Mallock,  the  sores 
were  healed  up;  and,  the  morning  after,  the  stiffness  was  all 
gone." 

I  said  nothing;  for  what  could  I  say?  It  is  true  enough 
that^many  might  say  that  it  had  all  fallen  out  so,  by  chance, 
that  it  was  no  more  than  a  strain  at  tennis,  or  a  humour  in  the 
blood,  as  the  physician  had  thought.  But  I  did  not  think  so, 
nor,  I  think,  would  many  Catholics. 

"  You  say  nothing^  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  the  King. 

"  What  is  there  to  say,  Sir?  "  asked  I. 

"  What  indeed  ?  "  he  cried,  again  with  the  greatest  emotion. 
"  There  is  nothing  at  all  to  say.  The  facts  are  as  I  have 
said." 

Then  there  came  upon  me  once  more  that  passionate  desire 
to  see  this  strange  and  restless  soul  at  peace.  Of  those  who 
have  never  received  the  gift  of  faith  I  say  nothing:  God  will 
be  their  Judge,  and,  I  doubt  not,  their  Saviour  if  they  have 
but  been  faithful  to  what  they  know;  but  for  those  who  have 
received  the  knowledge  of  the  truth  and  have  drawn  back  from 
it  I  have  always  feared  very  greatly.  Now  that  His  Majesty 


370  ODDSFISH! 

had  received  this  light  long  before  this  time,  I  had  never  had 
any  doubt;  indeed  it  had  been  reported,  though  I  knew  falsely, 
that  he  had  submitted  to  the  Church  and  been  taken  into  her 
Communion  while  he  was  yet  a  young  man  in  France.  Yet 
here  he  was  still,  holding  back  from  what  he  knew  to  be  true — 
and  growing  old  too,  as  he  had  said.  All  this  went  through 
my  mind ;  but  before  I  could  speak  he  was  up  again. 

"An  instant,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  as  I  rose  up  with  him; 
and  he  turned  swiftly  towards  the  door  that  was  behind  him, 
and  was  out  through  it,  leaving  it  open  behind  him.  From 
where  I  stood  I  could  see  what  he  did.  There  was  a  great 
press  in  the  little  chamber  next  door,  and  he  flung  the  doors 
of  this  open  so  that  I  could  see  him  pull  forward  his  strong- 
box that  lay  within.  This  he  opened  with  a  key  that  he  car- 
ried hung  on  a  chain,  and  fumbled  in  it  a  minute  or  two, 
drawing  out  at  last  a  paper;  and  so,  bearing  this,  and  leaving 
the  strong-box  open  just  as  it  was,  he  came  back  to  me. 

"  Look  at  that,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  he. 

It  was  a  sheet  of  paper,  written  very  closely  in  His 
Majesty's  own  hand,  and  was  headed  in  capital  letters. 

Then  there  followed  a  set  of  reasons,  all  numbered,  shewing 
that  the  Holy  Roman  Church  was  none  other  than  the  very 
Church  of  Christ  outside  of  which  there  is  no  salvation.  (It 
was  made  public  later,  as  all  the  world  knows,  so  I  need  not 
set  it  out  here  in  full.) 

"  There,  sir,"  he  said  when  I  had  done  reading  it.  "  What 
do  you  think  of  that  ?  " 

I  shall  never  forget  how  he  looked,  when  I  lifted  my  eyes 
and  regarded  him.  He  was  standing  by  the  window,  with  the 
light  on  his  face,  and  there  was  an  extraordinary  earnestness 
and  purpose  in  his  features.  It  was  near  incredible  that  this 
could  be  the  man  whom  I  had  seen  so  careless  with  his  ladies 
— so  light  and  indolent.  But  there  are  many  sides  to  every 
man,  as  I  have  learned  in  a  very  long  life. 

"  Sir,"  I  cried,  "  what  am  I  to  say  ?  There  is  nothing  that 
I  can  add.  This  is  Your  Majesty's  own  conscience,  written 
out  in  ink."  (I  tapped  the  paper  with  my  finger,  still  hold- 
ing it.) 


ODDSFISH!  371 

"Eh?"  said  he. 

"And  by  conscience  God  judges  us  all/'  I  cried. 

Again  I  stared  into  his  eyes,  and  he  into  mine. 

"Your  Majesty  will  have  to  answer  to  this/'  said  I,  "on 
Judgment  Day." 

I  could  say  no  more,  so  great  was  my  emotion;  and,  as  I 
hesitated  a  change  went  over  his  face.  His  brows  came  down 
as  if  he  were  angry,  but  his  lips  twitched  a  little  as  if  in 
humour. 

"  There !  there !  "  he  said.  "  Give  me  the  paper,  Mr.  Mai- 
lock." 

I  gave  it  back  to  him;  and  he  stood  running  his  eyes 
down  it. 

"  Why,  this  is  damned  good !  "  he  murmured.  "  I  should 
have  made  a  theologian." 

And  with  that  I  knew  that  his  mood  was  changed  again, 
and  that  I  could  say  no  more. 


CHAPTER    III 

I  DO  not  know  which  is  the  more  strange  that,  when  a  great 
time  of  trial  approaches  a  man,  either  he  has  some  kind  of  a 
premonition  that  trouble  is  coming  upon  him,  or  that  he  has 
not.  Certainly  it  is  strange  enough  that  some  sense,  of  which 
we  know  nothing,  should  scent  danger  when  there  are  no 
outward  signs  that  any  is  near;  but  it  appears  even  more 
strange  to  me  that  the  storm  should  break  all  of  a  sudden 
without  any  cloud  in  the  sky  to  shew  its  coming.  It  was  the 
latter  case  with  me;  and  the  storm  came  upon  me  as  I  shall 
now  relate. 

It  was  now  for  the  first  time  that  I  began  to  see  something 
of  the  way  the  Court  lived — I  mean  as  one  who  was  himself  a 
part  of  it.  I  had  looked  on  it  before  rather  as  a  spectator 
at  a  show,  observing  the  pageants  pass  before  me,  but  myself, 
from  the  nature  of  my  employment,  taking  no  part  in  it  from 
within. 

A  great  deal  that  I  saw  was  very  dreadful  and  unchristian. 
Many  of  the  persons  resembled  hogs  and  monkeys  more  than 
human  beings;  and  a  great  deal  of  what  passed  for  wit  and 
merriment  was  nothing  other  than  pure  evil.  Virtue  was 
very  little  reckoned  of;  or,  rather  reckoned  only  as  giving 
additional  zest  to  its  own  corruption.  I  do  not  mean  that 
there  were  no  virtuous  people  at  all — (there  were  virtuous 
people  in  Sodom  and  Gomorrah  themselves) — but  they  were 
unusual,  and  were  looked  upon  as  a  little  freakish  or  mad. 
Yet,  for  all  that,  side  by  side  with  the  evil,  there  went  on  a 
great  deal  of  seemliness  and  religion:  sermons  were  preached 
before  the  Court  every  Sunday;  and  His  Majesty,  who  by  his 
own  life  was  greatly  responsible  for  the  wickedness  around 
him,  went  to  morning-prayers  at  least  three  or  four  times  in 
the  week;  though  I  cannot  say  that  his  behaviour  there  ac- 
corded very  well  with  the  business  he  was  engaged  upon. 

3721 


ODDSFISH!  373 

Some  blamed  the  Bishops  and  other  ministers  for  their  laxity 
and  the  flattery  that  they  shewed  to  His  Majesty:  but  I  do 
not  think  that  charge  is  a  fair  one;  for  they  were  very  bold 
indeed  upon  occasion.  Dr.  Ken,  who  preached  pretty  often, 
was  as  outspoken  as  a  preacher  well  could  be,  denouncing  the 
sins  of  the  Court  in  unmeasured  language,  even  in  His 
Majesty's  presence:  and  a  certain  Bishop,  whose  name  I  for- 
get, observing  on  one  occasion  during  sermon-time  that  the 
King  was  fast  asleep,  turned  and  rebuked  in  a  loud  voice 
some  other  gentleman  who  was  asleep  too. 

"  You  snore  so  loudly,  sir,"  he  cried,  "  that  you  will  awake 
His  Majesty,  if  you  do  not  have  a  care." 

I  went  sometimes  to  the  chapel,  with  the  crowd,  to  hear 
the  anthem,  as  the  custom  was;  for  the  music  was  extraor- 
dinary good,  and  no  expense  spared;  and  I  heard  there  some 
very  fine  motets,  the  most  of  which  were  adapted  from  the 
old  Catholic  music  and  set  to  new  words  taken  from  the 
Protestant  Scripture. 

I  went  one  night  in  August  to  the  Duke's  Theatre,  as  it 
was  called,  to  see  a  play  of  Sir  Charles  Sedley,  called  The 
Mulberry  Garden. 

This  extraordinary  man,  with  whom  I  had  already  talked 
on  more  than  one  occasion,  was,  according  to  one  account, 
the  loosest  man  that  ever  lived;  and  indeed  the  tales  related 
of  him  are  such  that  I  could  not  even  hint  at  them  in  such 
a  work  as  this.  But  he  was  now  about  forty-five  years  old; 
and  a  thought  steadier.  It  chanced  that  he  and  my  Lord 
Dorset — (who  was  of  the  same  reputation,  but  had  fought 
too  both  by  land  and  sea) — were  present  with  ladies,  of  whom 
the  Duchess  of  Cleveland  was  one,  in  one  of  the  boxes  that 
looked  upon  the  stage;  and  I  was  astonished  at  the  behaviour 
of  them  all.  Sedley  himself,  who  appeared  pretty  drunk,  was 
the  noisiest  person  in  the  house;  he  laughed  loudly  at  any 
of  his  own  lines  that  took  his  fancy,  and  conversed  equally 
loudly  with  his  friends  when  they  did  not.  As  for  the  play 
it  was  of  a  very  poor  kind,  and  gave  me  no  pleasure  at  all; 
for  there  was  but  one  subject  in  it  from  beginning  to  end, 


374  ODDSFISH! 

and  that  was  the  passion  which  the  author  would  call  love. 
There  were  lines  too  in  it  of  the  greatest  coarseness,  and  at 
these  he  laughed  the  loudest.  He  had  a  sharp  bold  face,  of 
an  extraordinary  insolence;  and  he  appeared  to  take  the  high- 
est delight  in  the  theme  of  his  play — (which  he  had  written 
for  the  King's  Theatre  a  good  while  before) — and  which  con- 
cerned nothing  else  but  the  love-adventures  of  two  maids 
that  had  an  over-youthful  fop  for  a  father. 

When  the  play  was  over,  and  I  going  out  to  my  little  coach 
that  I  used,  I  found  that  the  Duchess  of  Cleveland's  coach 
stopped  the  way,  in  spite  of  the  others  waiting  behind,  and 
Her  Grace  not  come.  However  there  was  nothing  to  be 
done :  and  I  waited.  Presently  out  they  came,  Sedley  leading 
the  way  with  great  solemnity,  who  knocked  against  me  as 
I  stood  there,  and  asked  what  the  devil  I  did  in  his  road. 

I  saluted  them  as  ironically  as  I  could;  and  begged  his 
pardon. 

"  I  had  no  idea,  Sir  Charles,"  said  I,  "  that  the  theatre 
and  street  were  yours  as  well  as  the  play." 

He  looked  at  me  as  if  he  could  not  believe  his  ears;  but 
my  Lord  Dorset  who  was  just  behind  came  up  and  took  him 
by  the  arm. 

"  He  is  right,"  he  said.  "  Mr.  Mallock  is  quite  right.  Beg 
his  pardon,  I  tell  you." 

"Why  the  devil "  began  Sir  Charles  again,  still  not 

recognizing  me. 

My  Lord  clapped  him  sharply  on  his  hat,  driving  it  over 
his  eyes. 

"  He  is  blind  now,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "in  every  sense. 
You  would  not  be  angry  with  a  blind  man !  " 

When  Sir  Charles  had  got  his  hat  straight  again  he  was 
now  angry  with  my  Lord  Dorset,  and  very  friendly  and 
apologetic  to  myself,  whom  I  suppose  he  had  remembered 
by  now;  so  the  two  drove  away  presently  after  the  ladies, 
still  disputing  loudly.  But  I  think  my  Lord's  behaviour 
shewed  me  more  than  ever  that  I  was  become  a  person  of 
some  consequence.  Yet  this  kind  of  manners,  in  the  midst 
of  the  crowd,  though  it  commended  gentlemen  as  well  known 


ODDSFISH!  375 

as  were  those  two — to  the  ruder  elements  among  the  spec- 
tators, who  laughed  and  shouted — did  a  great  deal  of  harm 
in  those  days  to  the  Court  and  the  King,  among  the  more 
serious  and  sober  persons  of  the  country;  and  it  is  these 
who,  in  the  long  run,  always  have  the  ordering  of  things. 
God  knows  I  would  not  live  in  a  puritanical  country  if  I  could 
help  it;  yet  decent  breeding  is  surely  due  from  gentlemen. 

A  week  or  two  later  I  was  at  a  levee  in  Her  Majesty's 
apartments;  and  had  a  clearer  sight  than  ever  of  the  rela- 
tions between  the  King  and  Queen. 

Now  His  Majesty  had  behaved  himself  very  ill  to  the 
Queen;  he  had  flaunted  his  mistresses  everywhere,  and  had 
even  compelled  her  to  receive  them;  he  had  neglected  her 
very  grossly;  yet  I  must  say  in  his  defence  that  there  was 
one  line  he  would  not  pass:  he  would  not  on  any  account 
listen  to  those  advisers  of  his  who  from  time  to  time  had 
urged  him  to  put  her  away  by  divorce,  and  marry  a  Prot- 
estant who  might  bear  him  children.  Even  my  Lord  Bishop 
of  Salisbury,  Dr.  Burnet,  had,  thirteen  or  fourteen  years 
ago  given  as  his  opinion  that  a  barren  wife  might  be  divorced, 
and  even  that  polygamy  was  not  contrary  to  the  New  Testa- 
ment! This,  however,  Charles  had  flatly  refused  to  coun- 
tenance; and,  when  he  thought  of  it,  now  and  again,  shewed 
her  a  sort  of  compassionate  kindness,  in  spite  of  his  distaste 
for  her  company.  Yet  his  very  compassionateness  proved 
his  distaste. 

It  was  on  occasion  of  a  reception  by  Her  Majesty  of  some 
Moorish  deputation  or  embassage  from  Tangier,  that  I  was 
present  in  her  apartments;  and  it  was  immediately  after  this, 
too — (so  that  I  have  good  cause  to  remember  it) — that  the 
first  completely  unexpected  reverse  came  to  my  fortunes. 

I  arrived  at  Her  Majesty's  lodgings  about  nine  o'clock  in 
the  evening;  and  was  pleased  to  see  that  the  Yeomen  of  the 
Guard  lined  the  staircase  up  to  the  great  gallery.  This  was 
an  honour  which  the  Queen  did  not  very  often  enjoy;  and 
very  fine  they  looked  in  their  scarlet  and  gold,  with  their 
halberds,  all  the  way  up  from  the  bottom  to  the  top. 


376  ODDSFISH! 


The  Great  Gallery,  when  I  came  into  it,  was  tolerably  full 
of  people,  of  whom  I  spoke  to  a  good  number,  among  whom 
again  were  Sir  Charles  Sedley  and  my  Lord  Dorset,  as  usual 
inseparable.  But  I  was  very  much  astonished  at  the  manner 
in  which  the  Moors  were  treated,  for  they  were  seated  on 
couches,  on  one  side  of  the  state  under  which  Her  Majesty 
sat,  as  if  they  were  some  kind  of  raree-show,  set  there  to  be 
looked  at.  They  were  extraordinary  rich  and  barbaric  in 
their  appearance;  and  when  I  had  kissed  Her  Majesty's 
hand,  I  too  went  and  looked  with  the  rest  of  the  crowd  who 
jostled  all  together  to  stare  at  them.  They  were  in  very 
gorgeous  silks,  and  wore  turbans;  and  their  jewels  were 
beyond  anything  that  I  had  ever  seen — great  uncut  emeralds, 
and  red  stones  of  which  I  did  not  know  the  name,  and  ropes 
of  pearls.  The  folks  about  me  bore  themselves  with  an 
amazing  insolence,  regarding  them  as  if  they  had  been  mon- 
sters, and  freely  making  comments  on  them  which  their  in- 
terpreter, at  least,  must  have  understood.  The  Moors  them- 
selves behaved  with  great  dignity;  and  it  was  impossible  not 
to  reflect  that  these  shewed  a  far  higher  degree  of  dignity 
and  civilization  than  did  my  own  countrymen.  They  were 
very  dark-skinned,  and  three  or  four  of  them  of  a  wonderful 
handsomeness.  They  sat  there  almost  in  silence,  looking 
gravely  at  the  crowd,  and  observing,  I  thought,  with  surprise 
the  bare  shoulders  and  bosoms  of  the  ladies  who  stared  and 
screamed  as  much  as  any.  It  appeared  to  me  that  these  poor 
Moors,  too,  thought  that  the  civilization  lay  principally  upon 
their  own  side.  I  presently  felt  ashamed  of  myself  for  look- 
ing at  them;  and  turned  away. 

The  gallery  and  the  antechambers  had  some  fine  furniture 
in  them,  pushed  against  the  walls  that  the  crowd  might 
circulate;  but  all  was  not  near  so  fine  as  the  Duchess  of 
Portsmouth's  apartments,  nor  even  as  the  King's.  The  cres- 
sets, I  saw,  most  of  them,  were  of  brass,  not  silver;  the 
brocades,  which  were  Portuguese,  were  a  little  faded  here 
and  there;  and  there  was  not  near  the  show  of  gold  and  silver 


ODDSFISH!  377 

plate  that  I  had  expected.  But  of  all  the  sights  there,  I 
think  Her  Majesty  was  the  most  melancholy.  She  was 
dressed  very  splendid;  and  her  skirt  was  so  stiff  with  bullion 
that  it  scarce  fell  in  folds  at  all.  Her  pearls  were  mag- 
nificent, but  too  many  of  them;  for  her  coiffure  was  full 
of  them.  She  resembled,  to  my  mind,  a  sorrowful  child 
dressed  up  for  a  play.  Her  complexion  was  very  dark 
and  faded,  though  her  features  were  well-formed,  all  except 
her  mouth.  She  was  a  little  like  a  very  pretty  monkey,  if 
such  a  thing  can  be  conceived.  She  sat  under  her  state, 
with  an  empty  chair  beside  her — very  upright,  with  the 
Countess  of  Suffolk  and  her  other  ladies  round  about  her 
and  behind  her.  She  appeared  altogether  ill  at  ease,  and 
eyed  continually  down  the  length  of  the  gallery  along  which 
His  Majesty  would  come,  if  indeed  he  came  at  all;  for  he 
had  a  way  of  sending  a  sudden  message  that  he  could  not; 
and  all  the  world  knew  where  he  would  be  instead. 

To-night,  however,  he  kept  his  word  and  came. 

I  was  in  one  of  the  antechambers  at  the  time,  talking  to 
a  couple  of  gentlemen  and  to  one  of  the  Queen's  Portuguese 
chaplains  who  knew  a  little  Italian,  when  I  heard  the  music 
playing,  and  ran  out  in  time  to  see  him  go  past  from  the 
way  that  led  from  his  own  lodgings.  He  seemed  in  a  very 
merry  mood  this  evening,  and  was  smiling  as  he  walked,  very 
fast,  as  usual.  He  was  in  a  dark  yellow  and  gold  brocade 
that  set  off  the  darkness  of  his  complexion  wonderful  well, 
and  a  dark  brown  periwig  with  his  hat  upon  it;  and  he 
wore  his  Garter  and  Ster.  The  crowd  closed  in  behind  his 
gentlemen  so  that  I  could  not  get  near  him;  and  when  I 
came  up  he  was  on  his  chair  by  Her  Majesty,  and  she  smiling 
and  tremulous  with  happiness,  and  the  Moors  coming  up 
one  by  one  to  kiss  his  hand. 

I  could  not  hear  very  well  what  the  interpreter  was  saying, 
when  all  this  was  done;  but  I  heard  him  speak  of  a  gift  of 
thirty  ostriches  that  this  Moorish  mission  had  brought  as  a 
gift  to  him. 

His  Majesty  laughed  loud  when  he  heard  that. 


378  ODDSFISH! 

"  I  can  send  nothing  more  proper  back  again,"  said  he, 
"  than  a  flock  of  geese.  I  have  enough  and  to  spare  of 
them." 

Then,  when  all  about  were  laughing,  he  turned  very  solemn. 

"You  had  best  not  tell  them  that,"  he  said;  "or  they 
might  take  some  of  my  friends  away  with  them  in  mistake." 

(This  was  pretty  fooling;  but  it  scarce  struck  me  as  suited 
to  the  dignity  of  the  occasion.) 

Presently  the  interpreter  was  saying  how  consumed  with 
loyal  envy  were  these  Moors  at  all  the  splendour  that  they 
saw  about  them. 

"  It  is  better  to  be  envied  than  pitied,"  observed  His 
Majesty,  with  a  very  serious  look. 

At  first  he  bore  himself  with  extraordinary  geniality  this 
evening.  He  had  been  drinking  a  little,  I  think,  yet  not  at 
all  to  excess,  for  this  he  never  did,  though  he  had  no  obj  ection 
to  others  doing  so  in  his  company.  There  was  related  of 
him,  I  remember,  how  the  Lord  Mayor  once,  after  a  City 
Banquet,  pressed  His  Majesty  very  unduly  to  remain  a 
little  longer  after  he  had  risen  up  to  go.  His  Majesty  was 
already  at  the  door  when  the  Mayor  did  this,  even  venturing 
— (for  he  was  pretty  far  gone  in  wine) — to  lay  his  fingers  on 
the  King's  arm. 

His  Majesty  looked  at  him  for  an  instant,  and  then  burst 
out  laughing. 

"  Ah  well !  "  he  said,  quoting  the  old  song,  "  '  He  that  is 
drunk  is  as  great  as  a  King.'  " 

And  he  went  back  and  drank  another  bottle. 

He  was  in  that  merry  kind  of  mood,  then,  this  evening: 
but  such  moods  have  their  reactions;  and  half  an  hour  later 
he  was  beginning  first  to  yawn  behind  his  hand  and  then 
to  wear  a  heavy  look  on  his  face.  Her  Majesty  observed  it, 
too,  as  I  could  see:  for  she  fell  silent  (which  was  the  worst 
thing  in  the  world  to  do),  and  began  to  eye  him  sidelong 
with  a  kind  of  dismay.  (It  was  wonderful  how  little  knowl- 


ODDSFISH!  379 

edge  she  had  of  how  to  manage  him;  and  how  she  shewed  to 
all  present  what  she  was  feeling.) 

Presently  he  was  paying  no  more  attention  to  her  at  all, 
but  was  leaning  back  in  his  chair,  listening  to  my  Lord  Dorset 
who  was  talking  in  his  ear;  and  nodding  and  smiling  rather 
heavily  sometimes.  I  felt  very  sorry  for  the  Queen;  but 
I  had  best  have  been  feeling  sorry  for  myself,  for  it  was  now, 
that,  all  unknown  to  me,  a  design  was  maturing  against 
me,  though  not  from  my  Lord  Dorset. 

As  I  was  about  to  turn  away,  to  go  once  more  through 
the  rooms  before  taking  my  leave,  I  observed  Mr.  Chiffinch 
coming  through  very  fast  from  the  direction  of  the  King's 
apartments,  as  if  he  had  some  message.  He  did  not  observe 
me,  as  I  was  within  the  crowd;  but  I  saw  him  go  up,  thread- 
ing his  way  as  well  as  he  could,  and  touching  one  or  two 
to  make  them  move  out  of  his  way,  straight  up  to  the  King's 
side  of  the  state.  I  thought  he  would  pause  then;  but  he 
did  not.  He  put  his  hand  on  my  Lord  Dorset's  shoulder 
from  behind,  and  made  him  give  way;  and  then  he  took  his 
place  and  began  to  whisper  to  His  Majesty.  I  saw  His 
Majesty  frown  once  or  twice,  as  if  he  were  displeased,  and 
then  glance  quickly  up  at  the  faces  before  him,  and  down 
again,  as  if  he  looked  to  see  if  someone  were  there.  But 
I  did  not  know  that  it  was  for  me  that  he  looked.  Then  the 
King  nodded  thrice,  sharply — Mr.  Chiffinch  whispering  all 
the  while — and  then  he  leaned  over  and  whispered  to  the 
Queen.  Then  both  of  them  stood  up,  the  King  looking 
heavier  than  ever,  and  the  Queen  very  near  fit  to  cry,  and 
both  came  down  from  the  dais  together,  all  the  company 
saluting  them  and  making  way.  And  so  they  went  down 
the  gallery  together. 

I  was  still  staring  after  him,  wondering  what  was  the 
matter,  when  I  felt  myself  touched,  and  turned  to  find  Mr. 
Chiffinch  at  my  elbow.  He  looked  very  serious. 

"  Come  this  way,  sir,"  said  he.  "  I  must  speak  with  you 
instantly." 

I  went  after  him,  down  the  gallery;  and  he  led  me  into 


380 


ODDSFISHS 


the  little  empty  chamber  where  I  had  been  talking  with  the 
priest  half  an  hour  ago.  He  closed  the  door  carefully  behind 
him;  and  turned  to  me  again. 

"  Mr.  Mallock/'  he  said,  "  I  have  very  serious  news  for 
you." 

"  Yes/'  said  I,  never  dreaming  what  the  matter  was. 

"  It  touches  yourself  very  closely/'  he  said,  searching  my 
face  with  his  eyes. 

"Well;  what  is  it?  "  asked  I — my  heart  beginning  to  beat 
a  little. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,'*  he  said,  very  gravely,  "  there  is  an  order 
for  your  arrest.  If  you  will  come  back  with  me  quietly  to 
my  lodgings  we  can  effect  all  that  is  necessary  without  scan- 
dal." 


CHAPTER     IV 

I  SAID  never  a  word  as  we  went  back,  first  downstairs  be- 
tween the  Yeomen,  then  to  the  right,  and  so  round  through 
the  little  familiar  passage  and  up  the  stairs.  I  could  hear 
the  tramp  of  guards  behind,  and  knew  that  they  had  followed 
us  from  the  Queen's  lodgings  and  would  be  at  the  doors  after 
we  were  within.  I  was  completely  stunned,  except,  I  think, 
for  a  little  glimmer  of  sense  still  left  which  told  me  that  the 
least  said  in  any  public  place,  the  better.  Mr.  Chiffinch,  too, 
I  could  see  very  well,  was  as  bewildered  as  myself — for,  so 
far  as  I  was  concerned,  there  was  not  yet  the  faintest  suspicion 
in  my  mind  as  to  what  was  the  matter.  At  least,  I  told  my- 
self, my  conscience  was  clear. 

So  soon  as  we  were  within  the  closet,  the  page,  having 
again  shut  the  door  carefully  behind  me  came  forward  to 
where  I  stood. 

"  Sit  down,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  he,  in  a  low  voice,  but  very 
kindly. 

I  could  see  that  his  face  was  very  pale  and  that  he  seemed 
greatly  agitated.  When  I  was  seated,  he  sat  himself  down 
at  his  table  a  little  way  off. 

"  This  is  a  terrible  affair,"  he  said,  "  and  I  do  not 
know 

"  For  God's  sake,"  I  whispered  suddenly,  "  tell  me  what 
I  am  charged  with." 

He  looked  up  at  me  sharply. 

"You  do  not  know,  Mr.  Mallock?" 

"  Before  God,"  I  said,  "  I  have  no  more  idea  what  the 
pother  is  about  than " 

"  Well,  shortly,"  he  said,  "  it  is  treason." 

"  Treason !     Why " 

He  leaned  forward  and  took  up  a  pen,  to  play  with  as  he 
talked. 

"  I  will  tell  you  the  whole  thing  from  the  beginning,"  he 

381 


382  ODDSFISH! 

said.  "  You  must  have  patience.  An  hour  ago  a  clerk  came 
to  me  here  from  the  Board  of  the  Green  Cloth  to  tell  me 
that  the  magistrates  desired  my  presence  there  immediately 
on  a  matter  of  the  highest  importance.  I  went  there  directly 
and  found  three  or  four  of  them  there,  with  Sir  George 
Jeffreys  whom  they  had  sent  for,  it  seemed,  as  they  did 
not  know  what  course  to  pursue,  and  had  thought  perhaps 
that  I  might  throw  some  light  upon  it.  They  were  very 
grave  indeed,  and  presently  mentioned  your  name,  saying  that 
a  charge  had  been  laid  against  you  before  one  of  the  West- 
minster magistrates,  of  having  been  privy  to  the  Ryehouse 
Plot." 

"  Why "  cried  I,  with  sudden  relief. 

He  held  up  his  hand. 

"Wait,"  he  said,  "I  too  laughed  when  I  heard  that;  and 
gave  them  to  understand  on  what  side  you  had  been  through- 
out that  matter,  and  how  you  had  been  in  His  Majesty's  serv- 
ice and  that  I  myself  was  privy  to  every  detail  of  the  affair. 
They  looked  more  easy  at  that;  and  I  thought  that  all  was 
over.  But  they  asked  me  to  look  at  papers  they  had  of 
yours " 

"  Papers  !     Of  mine !  "  I  cried. 

"  Yes,  Mr.  Mallock.  Papers  of  yours.  I  will  tell  you 
presently  how  they  came  by  them.  Well;  there  were  about 
a  dozen,  I  suppose,  altogether;  and  some  of  them  I  knew  all 
about,  and  said  so.  These  were  notes  and  reports  that  you 
had  shewed  to  me:  and  there  were  three  or  four  more  which, 
though  I  had  not  seen  them  I  could  answer  for.  But  there 
was  one,  Mr.  Mallock,  that  I  could  not  understand  at  all." 

He  paused  and  looked  at  me;  and  I  could  see  that  he  was 
uneasy. 

Now  it  may  appear  incredible;  but  even  then  I  could  not 
think  of  what  paper  he  meant.  To  the  best  of  my  belief  I 
had  shewn  him  everything  that  I  thought  to  be  of  the  least 
importance — notes  and  reports,  as  he  had  said,  such  as  was 
that  which  I  had  made  in  the  wherry  on  my  way  up  from 
Wapping  one  night. 

I  shook  my  head. 


ODDSFISH!  383 

"  I  do  not  know  what  you  mean/'  I  said.  "  Where  did 
they  get  the  papers  from  ?  " 

"  Think  again,  Mr.  Mallock.  I  said  it  was  on  a  charge  of 
treason  just  now.  Well:  I  will  say  now  that  it  may  be  no 
more  than  misprision  of  treason." 

Still  I  had  no  suspicion.  I  was  thinking  still,  I  suppose, 
of  my  lodgings  here  in  Whitehall  and  of  a  few  papers  I  had 
there. 

"  You  must  tell  me/'   I    said. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  this  paper  I  speak  of  was  in 
cypher.  It  contained " 

"  Lord!  "  I  cried.     "  Cousin  Tom ! " 

Then  I  bit  my  lip;  but  it  was  too  late. 

"  Yes,"  said  the  other,  very  gravely.  "  I  can  see  that  you 
remember.  It  was  your  cousin  who  brought  them  up  from 
Hare  Street.  He  found  them  all  in  a  little  hiding-hole:  and 
conceived  it  to  be  his  duty " 

"  His  duty !  "  I  cried.     "  Good  God!  why " 

Then  again  I  checked  myself. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  said  I,  "  I  remember  the  paper  perfectly: 
at  least  I  remember  that  I  had  it,  though  I  have  never  read 
it  or  thought  anything  of  it." 

"  It  is  in  very  easy  cypher,  sir/'  said  he,  with  some  severity. 

"Well;  it  was  too  hard  for  me,"  I  said. 

"  Then  why  did  you  not  shew  it  to  me?  "  he  asked. 

"  Lord !  man,"  I  said,  "  I  tell  you  it  was  gone  clean  from 
my  memory.  I  got  it  from  Rumbald  a  great  while  ago — a 
year  or  two  at  the  least  before  the  Plot.  It  was  on  my  mind 
to  send  it  to  you;  but  I  did  not.  I  had  no  idea  that  it  was  of 
the  least  importance." 

"  A  letter,  in  cypher,  and  from  Rumbald !  And  you 
thought  it  of  no  importance — even  though  the  names  of  my 
Lord  Shaftesbury  and  half  a  dozen  others  are  written  in 
full!" 

"  I  tell  you  I  forgot  it,"  I  said  sullenly,  for  I  had  not 
looked  for  suspicion  from  this  man. 

He  still  looked  at  me,  as  if  searching  my  face:  and  I 
suppose  that  I  presented  the  very  picture  of  an  unmasked 


384  ODDSFISH! 

villain;  for  the  whole  affair  was  so  surprising  and  unexpected 
that  I  was  completely  taken  aback. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  if  you  had  but  shewn  me  that  paper, 
we  could  have  forestalled  the  whole  affair." 

"  What  was  in  it  ?  "  I  asked,  striving  to  control  myself. 

"  You  tell  me  you  do  not  know  ?  "  he  asked. 

Then  indeed  I  lost  control  of  myself.     I  stood  up. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  I  said,  "I  see  that  you  do  not  believe  a 
word  that  I  say.  It  will  be  best  if  you  take  me  straight  to 
those  who  have  authority  to  question  me." 

He  did  not  move. 

"  You  had  best  sit  down  again,  Mr.  Mallock.  I  do  not 
say  that  I  do  not  believe  you.  But  I  will  allow  that  I  do 
not  know  what  to  think.  You  are  a  very  shrewd  man,  sir; 
and  it  truly  is  beyond  my  understanding  that  you  should 
have  forgotten  so  completely  this  most  vital  matter.  I  wish 
to  be  your  friencj;  but  I  confess  I  do  not  understand.  Oh! 
sit  down,  man !  "  he  cried  suddenly.  "  Do  not  playact  with 
me.  Just  answer  my  questions." 

I  sat  down  again.  I  saw  that  he  was  sincere  and  that 
indeed  he  was  puzzled;  and  my  anger  went. 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  I  suppose  it  may  be  difficult.  Let  me 
tell  you  the  whole  affair." 

So  I  told  him.  I  related  the  whole  of  my  adventure  in  the 
inn,  and  how  I  got  the  paper,  and  tried  to  read  it,  and  could 
not:  then,  how  I  took  it  to  Hare  Street  and  put  it  where  he 
had  described:  then  how  I  very  nearly  had  asked  a  Jesuit 
priest  if  he  had  any  skill  in  cypher;  and  then  how,  once 
more,  it  had  all  slipped  my  mind,  and  that,  a  long  time  having 
elapsed,  even  when  Rumbald  became  prominent  again,  even 
then  I  had  not  remembered  it. 

"  That  is  absolutely  the  whole  tale,"  I  said ;  "  and  I  know 
no  more  than  the  dead  what  it  is  all  about.  What  is  it  all 
about,  Mr.  Chiffinch?  " 

He  drew  a  breath  and  then  expelled  it  again,  and,  at  the 
same  time  stood  up,  withdrawing  his  eyes  from  my  face. 
I  think  it  was  then  for  the  first  time  that  he  put  away  his 


ODDSFISH!  385 

doubts;  for  I  had  got  my  wits  back  again  and  could  talk 
reasonably. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  we  had  best  be  off  at  once,  and  see 
what  they  say." 

"Where  to?"  asked  I. 

"  Why  to  His  Maj  esty's  lodgings,"  he  said.  "  I  fetched 
him  out  to  tell  him.  Did  you  not  see  me  ?  " 

"His  Majesty!"  I  cried. 

"  Why  yes ;  I  thought  it  best.  Else  it  would  have  meant 
your  arrest,  Mr.  Mallock." 

I  must  confess  that  my  uneasiness  came  back — (which  had 
left  me  just  now) — as  I  went  with  the  page  to  the  King's 
lodgings,  more  especially  when  I  saw  again  how  the  guards 
fell  in  behind  us  and  followed  us  every  step  of  the  way.  It 
was  very  well  to  say  that  I  "  should  have  been  arrested  "  if 
such  and  such  a  thing  had  not  happened:  the  truth  was,  I 
was  already  under  arrest,  as  I  should  soon  have  found  if  I 
had  attempted  to  run  away.  It  seemed  to  me  somewhat 
portentous  too  that  His  Majesty  was  so  ready  to  see  us, 
instead  of  mocking  at  the  whole  tale  at  once. 

Mr.  Chiffinch  said  nothing  to  me  as  we  went.  I  think  he 
himself  was  fully  convinced  of  my  innocence — at  least  of 
any  deliberate  treachery — but  not  so  convinced  that  others 
would  be;  and  that  he  was  considering  how  he  should  put 
my  case.  It  was  a  sad  humiliation  for  me — this  trudging 
along  like  a  schoolboy  going  to  be  whipped,  with  a  couple 
of  guards  following  to  see  that  I  did  not  evade  it. 

We  went  straight  upstairs,  through  the  antechamber,  and 
to  the  door  of  the  private  closet.  I  heard  voices  talking 
there — one  of  which  cried  to  come  in  as  the  page  knocked. 
Then  we  entered. 

I  had  thought  to  find  His  Majesty  alone,  or  very  nearly 
so;  and  I  was  astonished  and  disconcerted  at  the  number  of 
persons  that  were  there.  The  King  himself  was  seated  be- 
yond his  great  table,  with  the  rest  standing  about  him,  five 
in  number.  On  his  right  was  Sir  George  Jeffreys  in  his 


386  ODDSFISH! 

rich  suit,  just  as  he  had  come  from  some  entertainment,  his 
handsome  face  flushed  with  wine,  yet  none  the  less  full  of 
wit  and  attention.  The  officer  of  the  Green  Cloth  was  on  the 
other  side — (it  was  this  gentleman's  business  to  deal  with 
all  cases,  within  his  jurisdiction,  that  took  their  rise  in  White- 
hall itself) ;  and  a  couple  of  magistrates  beside  him,  with 
neither  of  whom  I  had  any  acquaintance.  An  officer,  whose 
face  again  was  new  to  me — named  Colonel  Hoskyns — a  truc- 
ulent-looking fellow,  in  the  dress  of  His  Majesty's  Life- 
guards, stood  very  upright  beside  Sir  George  Jeffreys,  with 
his  hat  in  his  hand.  A  sheaf  of  papers  lay  before  the  King  on 
the  table. 

I  was  even  more  disconcerted  to  see  how  His  Majesty 
looked.  An  hour  or  two  ago  he  had  been  smiling  and  gra- 
cious: now  he  wore  a  very  stern  look  on  his  face;  he  made  no 
sign  of  recognition  as  I  came  in  after  Mr.  Chiffinch,  but,  so 
soon  as  the  door  was  shut,  spoke  immediately  to  the  page. 

"Well?"  he  said.     "What  have  you  got  from  him?" 

Chiffinch  advanced  a  step  nearer,  glancing  at  the  faces  that 
all  looked  on  him. 

"  Sir,"  he  said,  "  I  am  convinced  there  has  been  nothing 
more  than  an  indiscretion " 

Then  the  King  shewed  how  angry  he  was.  He  threw  him- 
self back  in  his  chair. 

"Bah!"  he  cried — "an  indiscretion  indeed!  With  his 
guilt  staring  him  in  the  face !  " 

There  was  a  murmur  from  the  others:  and  Colonel  Hoskyns 
gave  me  a  look  of  very  high  disdain,  as  if  I  had  been  a  toad 
or  a  serpent.  For  myself  I  said  nothing:  I  remained  with  my 
eyes  down.  Once  or  twice  before  I  had  seen  His  Majesty 
in  this  very  mood,  for  the  most  part  he  was  the  least 
suspicious  man  I  had  ever  encountered;  but  once  his  suspicion 
was  awake  there  was  none  harder  to  persuade.  So  he  had 
been  with  His  Grace  of  Monmouth  on  two  or  three  occasions; 
so,  it  appeared,  he  was  to  be  with  me  now. 

"Sir,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch  again,  "I  have  examined  Mr. 
Mallock  very  closely:  but  I  have  told  him  very  little.  Will 


ODDSFISH!  387 

Your  Majesty  allow  him  to  hear  what  the  case  is  against 
him?" 

The  King,  who  was  frowning  and  pursing  his  lips,  raised 
his  eyes;  and  immediately  I  dropped  my  own.  He  was  in 
a  black  mood  indeed,  and  all  the  blacker  for  his  past  kindness 
to  me. 

"  Tell  him,  Hoskyns,"  he  said;  and  then,  before  the  Colonel 
could  speak  he  addressed  me  directly. 

"  Mr.  Mallock/'  he  said  sharply,  "  I  will  tell  you  plainly 
why  I  have  you  here,  and  why  you  are  not  in  ward.  You 
have  been  of  service  to  me;  I  do  not  deny  that.  And  I 
have  never  known  you  yet  to  betray  your  trust.  Well,  then, 
I  do  not  wish  to  disgrace  you  publicly  without  allowing  you 
an  opportunity  of  speaking  and  clearing  yourself  if  that  is 
possible.  I  tell  you  frankly,  I  do  not  think  you  will.  I  see 
no  loophole  anywhere.  But — well  there  it  is.  Tell  him, 
Hoskyns." 

I  will  not  deny  that  I  was  terrified.  This  was  so  wholly 
unlike  all  I  had  ever  known  of  His  Majesty.  What  in  the 
world  could  be  the  case  against  me?  (For  I  now  saw  that 
Mr.  Chiffinch  had  not  told  me  the  whole,  but  only  a  part  of 
the  charge.)  I  fixed  my  eyes  upon  Mr.  Hoskyns  for  whom 
I  had  conceived,  so  soon  as  I  had  set  eyes  on  him,  an  extreme 
repulsion. 

He  made  a  kind  of  apologetic  cringing  movement  towards 
the  papers.  The  King  made  no  movement,  but  rested  heavily 
in  his  chair,  with  his  hat  forward,  his  elbows  on  the  arms 
of  his  chair  and  his  fingers  knit  beneath  his  chin.  The 
Colonel  took  the  papers  up,  shuffled  them  for  a  minute,  and 
then  began.  There  was  an  extraordinary  malice  in  his  man- 
ner which  I  could  not  understand. 

"  The  charge  against  the — the  gentleman — whose  name,  I 
understand,  is  Roger  Mallock,  consists  of  two  distinct  points: 

"  The  first  is  that  he  has  received  and  concealed  a  paper, 
containing  an  account  of  a  debate  held  between  certain  of 
His  Majesty's  enemies,  five  years  ago,  in  November  of  six- 
teen hundred  and  seventy-nine,  with  the  list  of  the  persons 


388  ODDSFISH! 


present  and  the  votes  that  they  gave  as  regards  compassing 
the  King's  death.  The  first  point  to  which  Mr.  Mallock  has 
to  answer  is,  How  he  came  to  be  in  possession  of  this  paper 
at  all?" 

I  made  a  movement  to  speak,  as  his  voice  ceased;  but  the 
King  held  up  his  hand.  Then,  as  if  by  an  afterthought  he 
dropped  it  again. 

"Well;  speak  if  you  like — point  by  point.  But  I  would 
recommend  you  to  hear  it  all  first." 

"  Sir/'  I  said,  "  I  have  no  reserves,  and  nothing  to  con- 
ceal. I  will  answer  point  by  point  if  Your  Majesty  will  give 
me  leave." 

He  said  nothing.     I  turned  back  to  the  other. 

"  Well,  sir,"  I  said,  "  I  had  that  paper  from  one  Rumbald, 
in  a  private  parlour  in  the  Mitre  inn,  without  Aldgate.  He 
gave  it  me  with  some  others,  and  forgot  to  ask  for  it  again." 

No  one  moved  a  finger  or  a  feature,  except  the  Colonel, 
who  glanced  at  me,  and  then  down  again. 

"  The  second  point  is,  Why  Mr.  Mallock  did  not  hand  over 
the  paper  to  the  proper  authorities."  Again  he  paused. 

"  It  was  in  cypher,"  said  I,  "  and  I  could  not  read  it." 

"  Then  why  did  you  preserve  it  so  carefully,  sir  ?  "  asked 
the  Colonel  angrily,  speaking  direct  to  me  for  the  first  time. 

"  I  preserved  it  because  it  might  be  of  interest,  seeing  from 
whom  I  received  it." 

"You  preserved  it  then,  because  it  might  be  of  interest; 
and  you  did  not  hand  it  over  because  it  might  not,','  sneered 
the  Colonel. 

"  Come !  come !  "  said  the  King  sharply.  "  We  must  have 
a  better  answer  than  that,  Mr.  Mallock." 

Then  my  heart  blazed  at  the  injustice. 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  I  am  telling  the  naked  truth.  If  I  were 
a  liar  and  a  knave  I  could  make  up  a  very  plausible  tale,  no 
doubt.  But  I  am  not.  The  naked  truth  is  that  I  preserved 
the  paper  for  what  it  might  contain;  and  then — 

I  paused  then;  for  I  saw  plainly  what  a  very  poor  defence 
I  had. 

"  And  then "  sneered  the  Colonel  softly. 


ODDSFISH!  389 

"  If  you  must  have  the  truth/'  I  said,  "  I  forgot  all  about 
it." 

Well;  it  was  as  I  thought.  Sir  George  Jeffreys  threw 
back  his  head  and  laughed  aloud — (he  was  a  man  of  extraor- 
dinary freedom  with  the  King) — a  great  grin  appeared  on 
the  Colonel's  face;  and  His  Majesty,  as  I  saw  in  the  shadow 
beneath  his  hat,  smiled  bitterly,  showing  his  white  teeth. 
Even  the  magistrates  chuckled  together. 

"  Ah,  sir,"  said  Jeffreys,  "  for  a  clever  man  that  is  truly 
a  little  dull.  You  might  have  done  better  than  that." 

Then  desperation  seized  me;  and  I  flung  all  prudence  to 
the  winds. 

"  I  thought  you  wanted  the  truth,"  said  I.  "  I  will  lie 
if  you  drive  me  much  further.  Go  on,  sir,"  I  cried  to  Hos- 
kyns.  "  Let  us  have  the  rest." 

The  King  stared  at  me,  and  his  face  was  terrible. 

"  A  word  more  like  that  in  my  presence,  sir " 

"  Sir,"  I  cried,  "  I  mean  no  disrespect.  But  I  am  hard 
put  to  it ' 

"  You  are  indeed,"  said  Jeffreys.  "  Go  on,  Colonel  Hos- 
kyns." 

The  Colonel  sniffled  through  his  nose,  lifting  his  papers 
once  more. 

"  The  next  main  charge  against  Mr.  Mallock  is  even  more 
grave.  It  is  to  the  effect  that  when  His  Majesty  and  His 
Royal  Highness  were  together  at  Newmarket,  Mr.  Mallock, 
knowing  that  there  was  a  plot  against  their  lives — of  which 
the  Rye  was  the  centre — despatched  a  messenger  to  His 
Majesty  bidding  him  come  immediately,  by  the  road  that 
leads  past  the  Rye,  instead  of  directing  him  by  Royston." 

At  that  monstrous  charge  my  spirit  almost  went  from  me. 
That  it  should  be  this  thing,  above  all  others  that  should  be 
brought  against  me!  I  glanced  this  way  and  that;  and  saw 
how  even  Chiffinch,  who  had  fallen  back  a  little  as  I  ad- 
vanced, was  looking  askance  at  me! 

"That  is  perfectly  true,"  I  said.     "What  of  it?" 

"  Mr.  Mallock  does  not  seem  to  perceive,"  snarled  the 
Colonel,  "  that  the  fact  itself  is  enough.  It  is  true  that  no 


390  ODDSFISH! 

harm  came  of  it;  but  Mr.  Mallock  will  scarcely  deny  that  an 
armed  man  stood  by  him,  waiting  for  the  coach." 

"  Armed  with  a  cleaver/'  said  I,  "  which  he  presently  flung 
at  my  head." 

"  So   Mr.   Mallock  says/'   observed  the   Colonel. 

"  You  say  I  am  a  liar  ?  "  I  cried. 

The  King  struck  suddenly  upon  the  table. 

"Silence,    sir!"    he    said.     "Mr.    Chiffinch,    you    told 
before  that  you  had  something  to  say.     You  had  best  say  it 
now." 

I  fell  back,  for  I  saw  that  my  bolt  was  shot.  If  Chiffinch 
could  not  save  me,  no  man  could.  It  was  gone  clean  beyond 
mere  misprision  of  treason  now:  I  saw  that  plain  enough. 

Then  Mr.  Chiffinch  began;  and  I  am  bound  to  say  that 
he  shewed  himself  a  better  pleader  than  myself.  I  thanked 
God,  as  he  spoke,  that  I  had  treated  him  with  patience  just 
now  in  his  lodgings. 

First,  he  remarked  that  I  had  been  in  His  Maj  esty's  service 
now  for  near  six  years,  and  that  in  all  that  time  I  had  proved 
myself  loyal  and  faithful.  Then  he  proceeded  to  deal  with 
the  charges. 

First,  he  said  that  the  very  weakness  of  my  excuse  with 
regard  to  the  paper  was  my  strength.  If  I  were  indeed  the 
villain  that  I  seemed,  why  in  God's  name  had  I  not  destroyed 
the  paper?  I  had  had  near  five  years  to  do  it  in!  Was  not 
that  an  additional  sign  that  I  had,  as  I  said,  merely  forgotten 
it?  (As  he  said  this  I  marvelled  that  I  had  not  thought 
of  that  answer  myself.)  It  was  true  that  the  paper  was 
of  the  highest  importance,  but,  as  my  story  stood,  I  had 
not  known  that.  Should  not  my  word  then  be  taken,  con- 
sidering all  the  other  services  I  had  done  to  His  Majesty? 

With  regard  to  the  second  point,  first  let  them  divest 
their  minds  of  any  prejudice  caused  by  the  first;  for  the 
first  was  not  proved.  Having  done  that,  it  was  necessary  to 
remember  how  carefully  I  had  reported  every  movement  of 
the  King's  enemies  to  himself — Mr.  Chiffinch.  It  was  true 
that  there  had  been  found  other  papers  in  the  hiding-hole 
which  he  himself  had  not  seen,  but  he  had  at  least  known 


ODDSFISH!  391 

the  substance  of  them — except  of  course  of  the  cypher  of 
which  he  had  already  treated.  With  regard  to  the  affair 
at  the  Rye  it  was  necessary  to  remember  that  my  policy 
throughout  had  been  to  report  all  that  I  had  learned  and 
to  interpret  it  as  directly  contrary  to  the  truth;  and  that 
this  policy  had  proved  successful.  (I  saw  the  Colonel  give 
a  very  odd  look  as  this  was  said;  and  I  saw  that  Mr.  Chiffinch 
had  seen  it  too.)  At  the  worst  it  had  been  an  error  of  judg- 
ment on  my  part  that  I  had  recommended  the  road  by  the 
Rye;  but  it  was  an  error  that  had  had  no  bad  consequences; 
and  to  have  recommended  it  was  only  in  accordance  with  all 
my  policy  of  taking  as  true  the  precise  opposite  to  all  that 
the  conspirators  had  told  me.  So  far  as  my  policy  was 
sound,  all  that  I  knew  was  that  the  Rye  road  would  be  safe 
on  that  one  day;  of  the  Royston  road  I  knew  little  or  noth- 
ing. As  regards  the  incident  of  the  cleaver,  I  had  spoken 
of  that  to  him  immediately  I  returned  to  town;  and,  surely, 
it  was  true  that  a  single  man  with  a  cleaver  could  do  very 
little  damage  to  a  galloping  coach.  In  short,  though  the 
evidence  might  be  interpreted  as  against  me — (here  he  shot  a 
look  at  the  Colonel) — it  might  also  be  interpreted  for  me, 
and,  that  this  was  the  fairer  interpretation,  he  pleaded  my 
record  of  other  services  done  to  the  King. 

When  he  ended,  there  was  a  dead  silence;  and  I  think  I 
knew  even  at  that  moment  that  the  worst  at  any  rate  had  been 
averted.  But  I  was  not  sure:  and  I  waited. 

Sir  George  Jeffreys  was  the  first  to  move.  He  had  re- 
mained motionless,  smiling  a  little,  while  the  page  had  been 
speaking,  watching  him  as  a  man  may  watch  an  actor  who 
pleases  him.  At  the  end,  after  a  little  pause,  he  jerked  his 
head  a  little,  as  if  to  throw  off  the  situation.  I  think  he 
had  had  no  malice  to  me,  but  had  watched  the  whole  affair 
as  a  kind  of  sport,  which  was  what  he  did  upon  the  Bench 
too.  He  made  a  movement  as  if  to  move  away,  but  remem- 
bered where  he  was,  and  stood  still. 

The  two  magistrates  began  to  move  also;  and  one  nodded 
at  the  other. 


392  ODDSFISH! 

Colonel  Hoskyns  shook  his  head  sharply,  and  began  to 
speak. 

"  Sir "  he  began  in  his  harsh  voice. 

The  King  held  up  his  hand;  and  all  was  dead  still  again. 

It  was  strange  to  me  to  watch  the  King,  or  rather  to  shoot 
a  glance  at  him  now  and  again;  for  I  saw  presently,  in  spite 
of  the  shadow  of  his  hat  and  his  dusky  face,  that  he  was 
looking  from  one  to  the  other  of  us,  as  if  appraising  what 
had  been  said.  I  heard  a  fellow  cough  somewhere,  not  in 
the  chamber,  and  knew  by  that  that  it  was  the  guards,  most 
likely,  who  were  waiting  for  the  verdict.  Truly,  during  those 
moments  all  my  confidence  left  me  again;  for  this  was  a  mood 
of  the  King  that  I  never  understood  and  had  never  seen  so 
clearly  as  I  saw  it  now.  It  was  a  sort  of  heaviness  of  mind, 
I  think,  that  fell  on  him  sometimes  and  obscured  his  clear  wit, 
for  to  my  mind  nothing  could  be  more  plain  than  Mr.  Chiffinch's 
argument.  Yet  I  depended  now,  not  only  for  my  liberty,  but 
for  my  very  life,  on  the  King's  judgment.  As  a  Catholic 
and  a  member  of  the  secret  service  I  could  look  for  no  hope 
at  all  if  I  were  sent  for  trial.  I  looked  at  Mr.  Ramsden,  the 
Officer  of  the  Green  Cloth;  for  I  had  scarcely  noticed  him 
before,  so  quiet  was  he.  It  was  through  his  hands  first,  I 
supposed,  that  the  case  would  pass.  He  was  still  motionless, 
looking  down  upon  the  table. 

Then  the  King  spoke,  not  moving  at  all. 

"  Go  into  the  antechamber,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said  dully, 
"  and  wait  there  till  you  be  sent  for." 

I  suppose  that  that  waiting  was  the  hardest  I  have  ever 
done.  Again  my  suspense  came  down  on  me,  and  I  had  no 
idea  as  to  which  way  the  matter  would  go.  I  sat  very  still 
there,  hearing  again  one  of  the  men  hemming  without  the 
door  on  the  one  side :  and  very  low  voices  talking  in  the  cham- 
ber I  had  come  from. 

Then  all  of  a  sudden  the  door  opened  sharply,  and  Mr. 
Chiffinch  came  through.  He  smiled  and  nodded,  though  a 
little  doubtfully,  as  he  came  through;  and  my  heart  gave  a 


ODDSFISH!  393 

great  leap,  for  I  knew  that  the  worst  would  not  happen  to 
me. 

He  said  nothing,  but  beckoned  me  to  follow,  and  we  went 
straight  through  to  where  the  guards  waited. 

"  You  can  go,"  he  said ;  "  this  gentleman  is  no  longer  un- 
der arrest." 

Still,  all  the  way  as  we  went,  he  said  nothing;  neither  did 
I.  He  said  nothing  at  all  till  we  were  back  again  in  his 
closet,  and  the  door  shut.  Then  he  faced  me,  smiling. 

"Well,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "His  Majesty  has  deter- 
mined to  do  nothing.  You  may  even  keep  your  lodgings 
for  the  present;  but  you  will  be  watched,  I  need  not  tell 
you,  very  closely  indeed:  and  you  must  expect  no  more  em- 
ployment for  a  while." 

"  But " 

"Wait,"  said  he.  "That  black  mood  is  on  His  Majesty; 
and  you  are  very  fortunate  indeed  to  have  come  out  of  it 
so  well.  It  was  a  very  clever  little  design " 

"  Design !  "  cried  I. 

"  Why,  of  course,"  he  said.  "  Did  you  not  see  that  ?  I 
should  have  thought  anyone " 

"Design,"    I    said   again.     "Of   whom?     And   why?" 

He  smiled. 

"  You  are  a  very  innocent  young  gentleman,"  he  said, 
"  in  spite  of  your  dexterity.  Of  course  it  was  a  design ;  and 
it  nearly  deceived  even  me " 

"  My  Cousin  Tom "  I  began. 

"  Your  Cousin  Tom  is  an  ass,"  he  said,  "  a  malicious  one, 
no  doubt;  but  a  mere  tool.  I  have  no  doubt  he  intended  to 
injure  you;  but  he  could  have  done  nothing  if  he  had  not 
met  with  the  right  man.  I  have  no  doubt  that  he  came  up 
with  the  papers,  and  gossiped  in  the  coffee-houses  till  he 
met  other  of  your  enemies:  and  they  have  done  the  rest. 
But  it  was  Colonel  Hoskyns  no  doubt  who  manipulated  the 
affair." 

"  Colonel  Hoskyns ! "  I  said.  "  Why,  I  have  never  set 
eyes  on  the  man  before." 


394  ODDSFISH! 

"  I  daresay  not/*  said  the  page,  still  smiling.  "  But  I 
have  had  his  name  in  my  books  for  a  great  while." 

"Who  is  he?"  I  cried.     "And  what  reason  had  he " 

Mr.  Chiffinch  shook  his  head  at  me  lamentably. 

"  Why  he  is  one  of  the  party,"  he  said,  "  though  I  can  get 
no  evidence  that  would  hang  a  cat.  I  have  no  doubt  what- 
ever that  he  has  been  in  the  whole  Shaftesbury  affair  from 
the  beginning,  and  knows  that  they  made  shipwreck  prin- 
cipally upon  yourself.  It  is  sheer  revenge  now,  no  doubt; 
for  they  cannot  hope  to  make  any  further  attempts  upon 
His  Majesty." 

"  But  he  is  in  the  Guards !  "  I  said,  all  in  amazement. 

The  page  shrugged  his  shoulders. 

"What  would  you  have?"  he  said.  "I  can  get  no  evi- 
dence, even  to  warn  His  Majesty,  though  I  have  told  him 
what  I  think.  And,  to  tell  the  truth,  I  believe  His  Majesty 
to  be  safe  enough.  But  that  does  not  hinder  them  from  wish- 
ing to  have  their  revenge.  Mr.  Mallock " 

"  Yes,"  I  said,  still  all  bewildered. 

"  I  wonder  what  he  will  attempt  next,"  said  Mr.  Chiffinch. 


CHAPTER    V 

THE  dreariness  of  the  time  that  followed  is  beyond  my  power 
of  description.  I  besought  Mr.  Chiffinch  to  let  me  go  abroad 
again,  but  he  forbade  me  very  emphatically;  and  I  owed  so 
much  to  him  that  I  could  not  find  it  in  my  heart  to  disobey. 
For  so  desperate  was  I,  at  the  ruin  of  all  my  hopes,  that  the 
thought  even  came  to  me  that  I  would  go  back  and  try 
to  be  a  monk  again;  for  how,  thought  I,  can  I  keep  my  word 
even  to  Dolly  herself?  Every  prospect  I  had  was  ruined; 
my  coronet  was  gone  like  the  dream  which  it  had  always  been ; 
I  had  failed  lamentably  and  hopelessly;  and  it  was  through 
her  father's  treachery  and  malice  that  all  had  come  about. 
This  I  felt  in  my  heaviest  moods;  but  Mr.  Chiffinch  would 
hear  none  of  it.  He  said  that  it  was  but  a  question  of  time, 
and  His  Majesty  would  come  round  once  more;  that  he 
would  never  be  content  until  I  was  reinstated;  that  he  had  not 
for  an  instant  lost  heart.  Besides,  he  said,  I  was  of  use  in 
another  way,  and  that  was  to  make  Hoskyns  disclose  him- 
self. Hoskyns  would  never  rest,  he  said,  till  he  had  made 
at  least  one  more  attempt  upon  me;  and  next  time,  he  hoped, 
he  would  catch  him  at  it,  and  get  rid  of  the  fellow  once  and 
for  all. 

Neither  could  I  even  go  to  Hare  Street;  for  how  could  I 
live  again  even  for  an  hour  in  the  house  of  my  Cousin  who 
had  betrayed  me?  I  could  not  even  tell  Dolly  all  that 
had  fallen;  for  I  was  as  sure  as  of  anything  in  the  world  that 
her  father  would  tell  her  nothing,  and  I  did  not  have  the 
heart  to  disgrace  him  in  her  eyes.  I  but  wrote  to  her  that 
I  was  a  little  out  of  favour  with  His  Majesty  at  present, 
though  I  kept  my  lodgings,  and  that  I  must  not  stir  from 
Court  till  I  had  regained  my  position.  Meanwhile  I  reserved 
what  I  had  to  say  to  my  Cousin  Tom,  until  I  should  meet 
with  him  alone.  I  had  no  doubt  whatever  that  he  had  done 
what  he  had,  thinking  to  get  rid  of  me  as  his  daughter's 
lover. 


396  ODDSFISH! 

The  time  dragged  then  very  heavily;  for  I  did  not  care 
to  go  much  into  the  society  of  others,  and  had  nowhere  else 
to  go,  since  I  must  not  leave  Whitehall;  for  it  soon  became 
known  that  I  was  out  of  favour,  though  I  do  not  suppose  that 
the  reason  was  ever  named.  I  spent  my  days  principally  in 
my  own  lodgings,  and  did  a  good  deal  of  private  work  for 
Mr.  Chiffinch,  which  occupied  me.  I  went  to  the  play  some- 
times, taking  my  man  James  with  me;  and  I  rode  out  with 
him  usually,  down  Chelsea  way,  or  to  the  north,  coming  back 
for  dinner  or  supper.  I  never  went  alone,  by  Mr.  Chiffinch's 
urgent  desire. 

It  was  after  Christmas  that  matters  were  brought  to  a 
head,  and  that  the  last  great  adventures  of  my  life  came 
about  that  closed  all  that  I  thought  to  be  life  at  that  time. 
Even  now,  so  many  years  after,  I  can  scarce  bear  to  write 
them  down,  though,  as  I  look  back  upon  them  now,  there 
were  at  least  two  matters  for  which  I  should  have  thanked 
God  even  then.  I  thank  Him  now. 

It  was  on  the  last  Thursday  but  one,  in  January,  to  be 
precise,  that  I  was  coming  back  from  a  ride,  having  been 
down  the  river-bank  past  Chelsea,  where  I  had  seen,  I  re- 
member, Winchester  House — that  great  place  with  all  its 
courts — and  my  Lord  Bishop  returning  in  his  coach:  I  do 
not  remember  anything  else  that  I  saw,  for  I  was  very  heavy 
indeed  and  more  than  ever  determined  that,  if  matters  did 
not  mend  very  soon,  I  would  be  off  to  France  (where,  six 
months  later,  I  should  be  obliged  to  go  in  any  case  when  my 
estates  would  come  to  me),  if  not  to  Rome.  It  was  near 
five  months  now  that  I  had  lived  in  disgrace,  His  Majesty 
not  speaking  to  me  above  three  or  four  times  all  that  while, 
and  then  only  to  avoid  incivility. 

I  could  not  understand  why  it  was  that  he  behaved  so 
to  me.  He  must  know  by  now,  surely,  that  I  had  never 
been  anything  but  faithful  to  him;  and  I  strove  to  put  away 
the  thought  that  it  was  mere  caprice,  and  that  he  often  be- 
haved so  to  others.  But  I  am  afraid  that  such  was  the 


ODDSFISH!  397 

case.  There  were  plenty  of  folks  at  Court,  or  who  had 
left  it,  who  had  once  been  in  high  favour  and  had  ceased  to 
be,  through  no  fault  of  their  own.  Neither  would  I  seek 
consolation  from  any  other  source.  The  Duke  was  civil 
to  me  whenever  we  met,  and  I  suppose  he  knew  that  I  was 
in  trouble,  but  he  never  spoke  of  it.  Indeed  it  was  a  sad 
change  from  the  time  when  I  had  returned  so  joyfully,  and 
found  my  new  lodgings  waiting  for  me. 

As  we  came  up  through  Westminster  I  was  riding  alone, 
for  I  had  bidden  my  man  James  to  go  aside  to  a  little  shop 
that  was  almost  on  our  route,  behind  the  abbey,  to  buy  me 
something  that  I  needed — I  think  it  was  a  pair  of  cuffs; 
but  I  am  not  sure.  It  was  very  near  dark,  and  the  lamps 
were  not  yet  lighted. 

As  I  came  towards  the  gate  of  Whitehall,  I  was  riding  very 
carelessly  and  heavily,  paying  little  attention  to  anything, 
for  I  was  thinking,  as  it  happened,  of  Dolly,  with  an  extraor- 
dinary misery  in  my  heart,  and  of  how  I  should  ever  tell 
her  (unless  matters  mended  soon)  of  what  her  father  had 
done;  and  whether  in  some  manner  he  would  not  yet  con- 
trive to  separate  us.  My  horse  swerved  a  little,  and  I  pulled 
him  up,  for  there  were  a  couple  of  fellows  immediately  cross- 
ing before  me.  I  saw  that  they  looked  hard  at  me;  but  I 
noticed  no  more,  for  at  that  instant  I  heard  a  horse  coming 
up  behind  me,  and  turned  to  see  that  it  was  James.  He 
looked  a  little  strange,  thought  I,  but  he  said  nothing:  only 
he  came  up,  right  beside  me,  and  so  rode  with  me  through  the 
gate. 

He  said  nothing  then,  nor  did  I ;  and  it  was  not  until  I  was 
dismounted  and  a  fellow  had  run  out  to  take  the  horses  that 
he  asked  if  he  might  speak  with  me. 

"  Why,  certainly,"  said  I ;  and  we  turned  together  into 
the  Court. 

"  Sir,"  he  said,  so  soon  as  we  were  out  of  earshot  of  the 
guard,  "did  you  see  those  two  fellows  without  the  gate?" 

I  said  that  I  had. 

"  Sir,"    he    said,   "  they   were    following   you   all   the   way 


398 


ODDSFISH! 


from  Chelsea.  I  saw  them  at  Winchester  House;  and  I  Have 
seen  them  before  to-day,  too." 

"Eh?"  said  I,  a  little  startled. 

Then  he  told  me  he  had  seen  them  for  the  last  fortnight, 
three  or  four  times  at  least,  and  that  he  was  sure  they  were 
after  some  mischief.  Once  before  to-day  too,  as  we  were 
riding  in  Southwark,  and  he  had  delayed  for  a  stone  in  his 
horse's  foot,  he  had  seen  them  run  out  from  behind  a  wall, 
but  that  they  had  made  off  when  they  saw  him  coming. 

Now  I  knew  very  well  what  he  meant.  London  was  very 
far  from  being  a  safe  place  in  those  days  for  a  man  that  had 
enemies.  There  was  scarcely  a  week  passed  but  there  was 
some  outrage,  in  broad  daylight  too,  in  less  populated  parts, 
and  in  the  various  Fields,  and  after  dark  men  were  not 
very  safe  in  the  City  itself. 

A  year  ago  I  should  have  thought  nothing  of  it;  but  I 
was  down  in  the  world  now,  I  knew  very  well,  and  I  had 
enemies  who  would  stick  at  nothing.  It  was  true  that  they 
had  let  me  alone  for  a  while — no  doubt  lest  any  suspicion 
should  attach  to  them — but  the  winter  was  on  us  now,  and 
the  mornings  and  evenings  were  dark;  and,  too,  a  good  deal 
of  time  had  elapsed.  I  remembered  what  Mr.  Chiffinch  had 
said  to  me  at  the  beginning  of  the  trouble. 

"  You  did  very  well  to  tell  me,"  I  said.  "  Would  you  know 
them  again  if  you  saw  them  ?  " 

"  I  think  so,  sir,"  he  said. 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  I  have  no  doubt  that  they  are  after  me. 
You  will  tell  my  other  men,  will  you  not  ?  " 

"  I  told  them  a  week  ago,"  he  said. 

I  said  no  more  to  him  then ;  but  instead  of  going  immediately 
to  my  lodgings,  I  went  first  to  see  Mr.  Chiffinch,  and  found 
him  just  come  in.  I  told  him  very  briefly  what  James  had 
told  me;  but  made  no  comment.  He  whistled,  and  bade  me 
sit  down. 

"  They  are  after  you  then,"  he  said.  "  I  thought  they 
would  be." 

"  But  who  are  they?  "  said  I,  a  little  peevishly. 

"  If  I  knew  their  names,"  said  the  page,  "  I  could  put  my 


ODDSFISH!  399 

hands  on  them  on  some  excuse  or  other.  But  I  do  not  know. 
It  is  the  dregs  of  the  old  country-party  no  doubt." 

"  And  what  good  do  they  think  to  get  out  of  me  ?  " 

"  Why,  it  is  revenge  no  doubt,"  he  said.  "  They  know 
that  you  are  down  with  the  King  and  have  not  many  friends; 
and  they  suspect  that  you  are  still  in  with  the  secret  service, 
no  doubt." 

"  They  are  after  my  life,  then  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  I  should  suppose  so." 

He  considered  a  minute  or  two  in  silence.  At  last  he 
spoke  again. 

"I  will  have  a  word  with  His  Majesty.  He  is  treating 
you  shamefully,  Mr.  Mallock;  and  I  will  tell  him  so.  And 
I  will  take  other  measures  also." 

I  asked  what  those  might  be. 

"  I  will  have  my  men  to  look  out  closely  when  you  go 
about.  You  had  best  not  go  alone  at  all.  Within  Whitehall 
you  are  safe  enough;  but  I  would  not  go  out  except  with  a 
couple  of  men,  if  I  were  you." 

I  told  him  I  always  took  one,  at  least. 

"Well;  I  would  take  two,"  he  observed.  "There  was 
that  murder  last  week,  in  Lincoln's  Inn  Fields — put  down  to 
the  Mohocks.  Well;  it  was  a  gentleman  of  my  own  who 
was  killed,  though  that  is  not  known;  and  it  was  no  more 
Mohocks  than  it  was  you  or  I." 

As  we  were  still  talking  my  man  James  came  up  to  seek 
me,  with  a  letter  that  he  had  found  in  my  lodgings,  waiting 
for  me.  I  knew  the  hand  well  enough;  and  I  suppose  that 
I  shewed  it;  for  when  I  looked  up  from  reading  it,  Mr. 
Chiffinch  was  looking  at  me  with  a  quizzical  face. 

"  That  is  good  news,  Mr.  Mallock,  is  it  not?  " 

I  could  not  refrain  from  smiling;  for  indeed  it  was  as  if 
the  sun  had  risen  on  my  dreariness. 

"  It  is  very  good  news,"  I  said.  "  It  is  from  my  cousin — 
the  '  pretty  cousin/  Mr.  Chiffinch.  She  is  come  to  town  with 
her  maid;  and  asks  me  to  sup  with  her." 

"  Well ;  take  your  two  men  when  you  go  to  see  her/'  said 


400  ODDSFISH! 

he,  laughing  a  little.     "  They  can  entertain  the  maid,,  and 
you  the  mistress.'* 

I  cannot  say  how  wonderfully  the  whole  aspect  of  the 
world  was  changed  to  me,  as  I  set  out  in  a  little  hired  coach 
I  used  sometimes,  with  my  two  men,  half  an  hour  later,  for 
my  old  lodgings  in  Covent  Garden  where,  she  said,  she  had 
come  that  evening.  It  was  a  very  short  letter;  but  it  was 
very  sweet  to  me.  She  said  only  that  she  could  wait  no 
more;  that  she  knew  how  ill  things  must  be  going  with  me, 
and  that  she  must  see  with  her  own  eyes  that  I  was  not 
dead  altogether.  I  had  striven  in  my  letters  to  her  to  make 
as  light  as  I  could  of  my  troubles;  but  I  suppose  that  her 
woman's  wit  and  her  love  had  pierced  my  poor  disguises. 
At  least  here  she  was. 

She  was  standing,  all  ready  to  greet  me,  in  that  old  parlour 
of  mine  where  I  had  first  met  her  six  years  ago;  and  she 
was  more  beautiful  now,  a  thousand  times,  in  my  eyes,  than 
even  then.  The  candles  were  lighted  all  round  the  walls, 
and  the  curtains  across  the  windows;  and  her  maid  was  not 
there.  She  had  already  changed  her  riding  dress,  and  was 
in  her  evening  gown  with  her  string  of  little  pearls.  As  I 
close  my  eyes  now  I  can  see  her  still,  as  if  she  stood  before 
me.  Her  lips  were  a  little  parted,  and  her  flushed  cheeks 
and  her  bright  eyes  made  all  the  room  heaven  for  me.  I 
had  not  seen  her  for  six  months. 

"  Well,  Cousin  Roger,"  she  said — no  more. 

Presently,  even  before  supper  came  in,  she  had  begun  her 
questioning. 

"  Cousin  Roger,"  she  said — (we  two  were  by  the  fire,  she 
on  a  couch  and  I  in  a  great  chair) — "  Cousin  Roger,  you 
have  treated  me  shamefully.  You  have  told  me  nothing, 
except  that  you  were  in  trouble ;  and  that  I  could  have  guessed 
for  myself.  I  am  come  to  town  for  three  days — no  more: 
my  father  for  a  long  time  forbade  me  even  to  do  that.  If 


ODDSFISH!  401 

he  were  not  gone  to  Stortford  for  the  horse-fair  I  should 
not  be  here  now/* 

"  He  does  not  know  you  are  come  to  town ! "  I  cried. 

She  shook  her  head,  like  a  child,  and  her  eyes  twinkled  withi 
merriment. 

"  He  thinks  I  am  still  minding  the  sheep,"  she  said.  "  But 
that  is  not  the  point.  Cousin  Roger,  I  care  nothing  what- 
ever for  His  Majesty's  affairs,  nor  for  secret  service,  nor 
for  anything  else  of  that  kind.  But  I  care  very  much  that 
you  should  be  in  trouble  and  not  tell  me  what  it  is/' 

Now  I  had  not  had  much  time  to  think  what  I  should  say, 
if  she  questioned  me,  as  I  knew  she  would;  for  it  would  not 
be  an  easy  thing  to  tell  her  that  her  father  was  at  the  root 
of  my  troubles  and  had  behaved  like  a  treacherous  hound. 
Yet  sooner  or  later  she  must  be  told,  unless  I  lost  heart 
altogether.  I  might  soften  it  and  soften  it — pretend  that 
her  father  owed  a  greater  duty  to  the  King  than  to  me,  and 
must  have  thought  it  right  to  do  as  he  had  done.  But  she 
would  see  through  it  all:  that  I  knew  very  well. 

"  Dolly,"  said  I,  very  slowly,  "  I  have  not  told  you  yet, 
because  there  was  nothing  in  the  world  that  you  could  do 
to  help  me.  I  have  waited,  thinking  that  matters  might 
come  straight  again;  but  they  have  not.  I  will  tell  you, 
then,  before  you  go  home  again.  I  promise  you  that.  And 
on  my  side  I  ask  you  not  to  question  me  this  evening.  Let 
us  have  this  one  evening  without  any  troubles  at  all." 

She  looked  at  me  very  earnestly  for  a  moment  without 
speaking;  and  I  could  see  that  her  lightness  of  manner  had 
been  but  put  on  to  disguise  how  anxious  she  was.  It  is  won- 
derful how  a  woman — in  spite  of  her  foolishness  at  other 
times — can  read  the  heart  of  a  man.  I  had  said  very  little 
to  her  in  my  letters;  and  yet  I  could  see  now  how  she  had 
suffered  all  the  while.  I  had  thought  myself  to  have  been 
alone  in  my  unhappiness;  now  I  understood  that  never  for 
an  instant  had  I  been  so;  and  my  whole  heart  rose  up  in  a 
kind  of  exultation  and  longing.  Then  she  swallowed  down 
her  anxiety. 


402 


ODDSFISH! 


"  I  take  you  at  your  word.  Cousin  Roger/'  she  said  lightly. 
"  I  will  ask  no  question  at  all." 

Then  Anne  and  my  man  James  came  in  with  the  supper. 

I  think  there  is  not  one  moment  of  that  evening  in  my 
old  lodgings  that  I  have  forgotten.  As  now  I  look  back  upon 
it  it  seems  to  me  to  have  that  kind  of  brightness  which  a 
garden  has  when  a  storm  is  coming  up  very  quickly,  and  the 
clouds  are  very  black,  and  yet  the  shadow  has  not  yet  reached 
it.  I  remember  how  the  curtains  hung  across  the  windows; 
they  were  my  own  old  curtains  of  blue  stuff,  a  little  faded 
but  still  rich  and  good;  how  the  fire  glowed  in  the  wide 
chimney;  how  Dolly  looked  across  the  table,  in  her  blue 
sac,  with  lace,  and  her  wide  sleeves,  and  her  little  pearls. 
She  had  dressed  up,  all  for  me,  as  indeed  I  had  for  her,  for 
I  was  in  my  maroon  suit,  with  my  silver-handled  sword  and 
my  black  periwig.  Ah!  and  above  all  I  remember  the  very 
look  in  her  eyes  as  she  suddenly  clapped  her  hands  together. 
(The  servants  were  out  of  the  room  at  that  instant.) 

"  Cousin  Roger !  "  she  said,  "  I  shall  never  keep  my  prom- 
ise unless  I  am  distracted.  We  will  go  to  the  play:  you  and 
I  and  Anne,  all  together:  and  your  man  James  shall  wait 
upon  us  with  oranges." 

Well;  she  had  said  it;  and  I  laughed  at  her  merriment: 
she  was  so  like  a  child  on  her  holiday,  and  a  stolen  holiday 
too.  The  ways  of  God  are  very  strange — that  so  much  should 
hang  upon  so  little!  It  was  upon  that  sudden  thought  of 
hers  that  the  whole  of  my  life  turned ;  and  hers  too !  As  it 
was,  I  said  nothing  but  that  it  should  be  as  she  wished; 
and  that  my  coach  should  set  us  down  there  and  come  again 
when  the  play  was  over.  So  the  threads  are  caught  up  in 
those  great  unseen  shuttles  that  are  guided  by  God's  Hand, 
and  the  whole  pattern  changed,  it  would  appear,  by  a  mo- 
ment's whim.  And  yet  I  cannot  doubt — for  if  I  did,  my 
whole  faith  would  be  shattered — that  even  those  whims  are 
part  of  the  Divine  design,  and  that  all  is  done  according  to  His 
Holy  Will. 


ODDSFISH!  403 

The  rest  of  supper  was  hastened,  lest  we  should  be  late 
for  the  play;  and  then,  when  James  came  up  to  tell  us  that 
the  coach  was  waiting — though  it  was  scarcely  a  hundred 
yards  to  the  King's  Theatre — and  Dolly  was  gone  for  her 
hood  and  cloak,  I  stood,  with  a  glass  of  wine  in  my  hand, 
on  the  hearth,  looking  down  at  the  fire. 

Now  I  cannot  tell  how  it  was;  but  I  suppose  that  the 
shadow  that  I  spoke  of  just  now,  began  to  touch  that  little 
garden  of  love  in  which  I  stood;  for  a  kind  of  melancholy 
came  on  me  again.  While  she  had  been  with  me,  it  had  all 
seemed  gone;  we  had  been  as  merry  at  supper  as  if  nothing 
at  all  were  the  matter;  but  now,  even  while  she  was  in  the 
next  chamber  with  her  maid,  I  fell  a-brooding  once  more. 
I  thought — God  knows  why! — of  the  little  parlour  at  Hare 
Street  which  I  had  not  seen  for  so  long,  and  of  the  fire  that 
burned  there,  upon  that  hearth  too — the  hearth  on  which  I 
had  stood  in  my  foolish  patronizing  pride  when  I  had  first 
asked  her  to  be  my  wife  and  she  had  treated  me  as  I  deserved. 
I  did  not  think  then  of  how  we  had  sat  there  together  after- 
wards so  often;  and  of  the  happiness  I  had  had  there,  but 
only  of  that  miserable  Christmas  night  when  I  thought  I 
had  lost  her.  The  mood  came  on  me  suddenly;  and  I  was 
still  brooding  when  she  came  in  again,  alone.  She  was  in 
her  hood,  and  her  face  looked  out  of  it  like  a  flower. 

"  Cousin  Roger,"  she  said,  "  I  have  never  told  you  why  I 
came  up  to-day." 

"My  dear;  you  did,"  I  said.  "It  was  your  father 
who " 

"No;  no;  but  this  day  in  particular.  Cousin  Roger,  the 
woman  came  again  last  night." 

"The  woman!     What  woman?"   I  asked. 

"  Why — the  tall  old  woman — to  my  chamber,  up  the  stairs. 
You  remember?  She  came  the  night  before  you  were  sent 
for — why — six  years  ago." 

I  stared  on  her;  and  a  kind  of  horror  came  on  me. 

"  Ah !  do  not  look  like  that,"  she  said.  "  It  is  nothing." 
She  smiled  full  at  me,  putting  her  hand  on  my  arm. 

"  You  saw  her !  "  I  said. 


404  ODDSFISH! 

"No;  no.  I  heard  her  only.  It  was  just  as  it  was  be- 
fore. But  I  came  up  to  town  to— to  see  if  all  were  well  with 
you.  And  it  is:  or  will  be.  Kiss  me,  Roger,  before  we 
go." 


CHAPTER    VI 

I  CANNOT  think  without  horror,  even  now,  of  that  play  we 
saw  on  that  night  in  the  King's  Theatre.  It  was  Mrs.  Aphra 
Behn's  tragedy,  called  Abdelazar,  or  The  Moor's  Revenge, 
and  Mrs.  Lee  acted  the  principal  part  of  Isabella,  the  Spanish 
Queen.  We  sat  in  a  little  box  next  the  stage,  which  we  had 
to  ourselves;  and  in  the  box  opposite  was  my  Lord  the  Earl 
of  Bath  with  a  couple  of  his  ladies.  He  was  a  pompous- 
looking  fellow,  and  a  hot  Protestant,  and  he  looked  very 
disdainfully  at  the  company.  In  the  box  over  him  was  Mis- 
tress Gwyn  herself,  and  the  people  cried  at  her  good-hu- 
mouredly  when  she  came  in,  at  which  she  bowed  very  merrily 
as  if  she  were  royal,  this  way  and  that,  so  that  the  whole 
play-house  was  full  of  laughter.  It  was  turned  very  cold, 
with  a  frost,  and  before  the  play  was  half  done  the  whole 
house  was  in  a  steam  under  the  glass  cupola.  Folks  were  eat- 
ing oranges  everywhere  in  the  higher  seats,  and  throwing 
the  peel  down  upon  the  heads  of  the  people  below.  The 
stage  was  lighted,  as  always,  with  wax  candles  burning  on 
cressets;  and  the  orange  girls  were  standing  in  the  front  row 
of  the  pit  with  their  backs  to  the  stage. 

Dolly,  who  was  a  little  quiet  at  first,  got  very  merry  and 
excited  presently  at  all  the  good-humour,  as  well  as  at  the 
actors.  She  had  thrown  her  hood  back,  so  that  her  head 
came  out  of  it  very  sweet  and  pretty;  and  a  spot  of  colour 
burned  on  each  cheek.  I  saw  her  watching  Mistress  Nell 
once  or  twice  with  a  look  of  amazement — for  she  knew  who 
she  was — for  Nell,  though  she  was  not  on  the  stage,  bore 
herself  as  though  she  were,  and  never  ceased  for  an  instant, 
though  full  of  merriment  and  good  humour,  to  turn  herself 
this  way  and  that,  and  bow  to  her  friends,  some  of  whom 
relished  it  very  little;  and  to  applaud  very  heartily,  and 
then,  immediately  to  throw  a  great  piece  of  orange  peel  at 
Mr.  Harris,  who  played  the  King.  She  had  her  boy  with 

405 


406  ODDSFISH! 

her — whom  His  Majesty  had  made  Duke  of  St.  Albans — 
and  two  or  three  gentlemen  whom  I  did  not  know. 

Dolly  whispered  to  me  once,  to  know  who  the  boy  was. 

"  That  is  her  boy/'  I  said. 

Dolly  said  nothing;  but  I  understood  the  kind  of  terror 
that  she  had  to  see  them  both  there,  so  outrageous  and  bold; 
but  she  presently  turned  back  again  to  the  stage  to  observe 
the  play. 

I  said  just  now  that  the  play  which  we  saw  has  very  dread- 
ful memories  for  me;  but  I  do  not  know  that  more  than  once 
or  twice  at  the  time  I  had  any  such  feeling.  There  were 
some  pretty  passages  in  the  play  that  distracted  me  alto- 
gether, and  a  song  or  two,  of  which  I  remember  very  well 
one  sung  by  a  Nymph,  and  answered  by  her  swain  with  his 
shepherds,  of  which  the  refrain  was: 

The    Sun    is    up    and    will    not    stay; 
And  oh!   how  very  short's  a  lover's  day! 

For  the  rest  there  was  a  quantity  of  bloodshed  and  intrigue 
and  false  accusation,  but  I  was  surprised,  considering  the 
subject,  how  little  was  against  Popery;  but  Mrs.  Behn  was 
content  at  the  end  of  it  to  make  the  Cardinal  beg  pardon  of 
King  Philip. 

For  the  most  part  then  I  attended  to  the  action — (and  to 
Dolly,  of  course,  all  the  while).  Yet  certainly  there  were 
other  moments  for  me,  when  the  shadow  came  down  again, 
and  I  saw  the  actors  and  the  whole  house  as  if  in  a  kind  of 
bloody  mist,  though  I  had  at  that  time  no  reason  for  it  at 
all,  and  do  not  think  that  I  shewed  any  sign  of  it.  Two 
or  three  times  before,  as  I  have  related,  there  came  on  me 
a  strange  mood — once  when  I  came  up  from  Wapping,  and 
once  as  I  put  out  from  Dover  in  the  packet.  But  it  was  not 
that  kind  of  mood  this  time.  Then  it  was  as  if  all  the  world 
of  sense  were  but  a  very  thin  veil,  and  all  that  was  happening 
a  kind  of  dream,  or  play.  Now  it  was  as  if  the  play  had  a 
shocking  kind  of  reality,  as  if  the  audience  and  the  actors 
were  monstrous  devils  in  hell;  and  the  paint  on  Mrs.  Lee's 


ODDSFISH!  407 

cheeks  her  true  colour,  and  her  gestures  great  symbols,  and 
the  noise  of  the  people  the  roar  of  hell.  This  came  and  went 
once  or  twice;  and  at  the  time  I  thought  it  to  be  my  own  hu- 
mour only;  but  now  I  know  that  it  was  something  other  than 
this.  When  I  looked  at  Dolly  it  went  again  in  an  instant, 
and  she  and  I  seemed  to  me  the  heart  of  everything,  and  all 
else  but  our  circumstances  and  for  our  pleasure. 

Well;  it  ended  at  last,  and  there  was  a  great  deal  of  ap- 
plauding, and  Mrs.  Lee  came  on  to  the  stage  again  to  bow 
and  smile.  It  was  then,  for  the  third  time,  I  think,  that  my 
horror  fell  on  me.  As  I  stared  at  her,  all  else  seemed  to 
turn  dim  and  vanish.  She  was  in  her  costume  with  the  blood 
on  her  arm  and  breast,  and  her  great  billowy  skirts  about  her, 
and  her  stage-jewels,  and  she  was  smiling;  and  I,  as  I  looked 
at  her,  seemed  to  see  the  folly  and  the  shame  of  her  like 
fire;  and  yet  that  folly  and  shame  had  a  power  that  noth- 
ing else  had.  Her  smile  seemed  to  me  like  the  grin  of  a 
devil;  and  her  colour  to  be  daubs  upon  her  bare  cheek-bones, 
and  she  herself  like  some  rotten  thing  with  a  semblance  of 
life  that  was  not  life  at  all.  I  cannot  put  it  into  words  at 
all:  I  know  only  that  I  ceased  applauding,  and  stared  on  her 
as  if  I  were  bewitched. 

Then  I  saw  my  dear  love's  fingers  on  my  arm,  and  her 
face  looking  at  me  as  if  she  were  frightened. 

"  What  is  the  matter,  Cousin  Roger  ?  "  she  whispered ;  and 
then :  "  Come,  Cousin  Roger ;  it  is  late." 

Then  my  mood  passed,  or  I  shook  myself  clear  of  it. 

"  Yes ;  yes,"  I  said.     "  It  is  nothing.     Come,  my  dear." 

The  little  passage  by  which  we  went  out  was  crammed  full 
of  folk,  talking  and  whistling  and  laughing;  some  imitating 
the  cries  of  the  actors,  some,  both  men  and  women,  looking 
about  them  freely  with  bold  eyes.  I  saw  presently  that 
Dolly  did  not  like  it,  and  that  we  should  be  a  great  while 
getting  out  that  way;  and  then  I  saw  a  little  door  beside 
me  that  might  very  well  lead  out  to  the  air.  I  pushed  upon 
this,  and  saw  another  little  passage. 

"  James,"  said  I,  for  he  was  close  behind  me,  "  go  out  and 


408  ODDSFISH! 

bring  the  coach  round  to  this  side  if  there  is  a  way  out." 
(And  then  to  Dolly.)  "  Come,  sweetheart,  we  will  find  a 
way  out  here/' 

I  pushed  my  way  behind  a  fellow  who  was  just  in  front,  and 
got  through  the  door,  and  Dolly  and  her  maid  followed  me. 

It  was  a  little  passage  with  doors  on  the  right  which  I  think 
led  to  the  actors'  rooms  and  the  stage,  for  I  heard  talking 
and  laughing  behind;  but  I  made  nothing  of  that,  and  we 
went  on.  As  we  went  past  one  of  the  doors  it  opened  all  of 
a  sudden  and  Mrs.  Lee  herself  came  out,  still  in  her  dress 
and  her  jewels,  and  her  face  all  a-daub  with  paint,  and  the 
blood  on  her  arm  and  dress,  and  ran  through  another  door 
further  along,  leaving  behind  her  a  great  whiff  of  coarse 
perfume.  It  was  but  for  an  instant  that  we  saw  her;  yet, 
even  in  that  instant,  a  sort  of  horror  came  on  me  again  as 
if  she  were  something  monstrous  and  ominous,  though — poor 
woman ! — I  have  never  heard  anything  against  her  more  than 
was  said  at  that  time  against  all  women  that  were  actresses — 
all,  that  is,  except  Mrs.  Betterton.  She  appeared  more  dread- 
ful even  than  in  the  play,  or  than  when  she  had  spoken  those 
terrible  words  as  she  sat  in  her  chair,  all  bloody,  as  she  died 
— stabbed  by  the  mock  Friar: 

— but    'tis    too    late — 
And  Life  and  Love  must  yield  to  Death  and  Fate. 

I  looked  at  Dolly;  but  she  was  laughing,  though  with  a 
kind  of  terror  in  her  eyes  too  at  that  sudden  apparition. 

"  Oh,  Roger !  "  she  said,  "  and  now  she  will  go  and  wash 
it  all  off,  will  she  not?" 

"  Yes,  yes,"  I  said.  "  She  will  wash  it  all  off."  And  I 
looked  at  her,  and  made  myself  laugh  too.  She  said  nothing, 
but  took  my  arm  a  little  closer. 

I  was  right  about  the  passage,  that  it  led  out  to  the  air, 
yet  not  into  Little  Russell  Street,  but  to  a  little  yard  by  which, 
I  suppose,  the  players  came  to  their  rooms.  The  frost  had 
fallen  very  sharp  while  we  had  been  in  the  theatre;  overhead 


DDDSFISH!  '409 

tlfe  stars  tingled  as  if  they  shook,  beyond  the  chimneys,  and 
there  were  little  pools  of  ice  between  the  stones. 

I  stayed  an  instant  when  we  came  down  the  three  steps 
that  led  into  the  yard,  to  pull  Dolly's  hood  more  closely  about 
her  head,  for  it  was  bitter  cold,  and  to  gather  up  my  own 
cloak,  and,  as  I  did  this,  I  saw  that  three  men  had  followed 
us  out,  and  were  coming  down  the  steps  behind  us.  There 
was  no  one  else  in  the  yard.  There  was  one  little  oil-lamp 
burning  near  one  of  the  two  entrances  to  shew  the  players 
the  way,  I  suppose. 

Then,  when  I  had  arranged  my  cloak,  I  gave  Dolly  my 
arm  once  more,  and,  as  I  did  so,  heard  Anne,  who  was  behind 
us,  suddenly  give  a  great  scream;  and,  at  the  sound,  whisked 
about  to  see  what  was  the  matter. 

There  was  a  man  coming  at  me  from  behind  with  a  dagger, 
and  the  two  other  fellows  were  behind  him. 

Now  I  had  not  an  instant  in  which  to  think  what  to  do, 
though  I  knew  well  enough  what  they  were  and  whom  they 
were  after.  What  I  did,  I  did,  I  suppose,  by  a  kind  of  in- 
stinct. I  tore  my  arm  free  from  Dolly's  hand,  pushing  her 
behind  me  with  my  left  hand,  and  at  the  same  time  dashed 
my  cloak  away  as  well  as  I  could,  to  draw  out  my  sword. 
The  fellow  was  a  little  on  my  right  when  I  was  so  turned 
about,  but  appeared  a  little  confounded  by  my  quickness,  for 
he  hesitated. 

"Back  to  the  wall,  Dolly !"  I  shouted.  "Back  to  the 
wall " ;  and,  at  the  same  time  I  began  to  back  myself,  with 
her  still  behind  me,  to  the  wall  that  was  opposite  to  the 
steps  we  had  just  come  down.  My  cloak  was  sadly  in  my 
way;  but,  as  I  reached  the  wall,  still  going  backwards,  I  had 
my  sword  out  just  in  time  to  keep  off,  by  a  flourish  of  it,  the 
fellow  who  had  recovered  himself,  and  was  coming  at  me 
again. 

So  for  a  moment,  we  stood;  and  in  that  moment  I  heard 
Anne  screaming  somewhere  for  help. 

Then  I  saw  how  the  two  other  men,  at  a  swift  sign  from 


410  ODDSFISH! 

their  leader,  spread  out  on  this  side  and  that,  so  as  to  come 
at  me  from  three  directions  together;  and,  at  that  saw  that 
I  must  delay  no  longer.  Before,  I  think,  they  saw  what 
I  intended,  I  leapt  forward  at  the  fellow  in  front,  and  lunged 
with  all  my  force;  and  though  he  threw  up  his  arms,  with 
the  dagger  in  one  of  his  hands,  and  tried  to  evade  a  parry  all 
at  once,  he  was  too  late;  my  point  went  clean  through  his 
throat,  and  he  fell  backwards  with  a  dreadful  cry.  And, 
at  the  same  moment  his  two  companions  ran  in  on  me  from 
either  side. 

Now  I  do  not  even  now  see  what  else  I  could  have  done. 
I  felt  sure  that  one  of  them  would  have  me,  for  I  could  not 
properly  deal  with  them  both;  but  I  turned  and  stabbed 
quickly,  with  a  short  arm,  at  the  face  of  the  one  on  my  right, 
missing  him  altogether,  and,  at  the  same  time  strove  to  strike 
with  my  left  elbow  the  face  of  the  other. 

But,  ah!  Dolly  was  too  quick  for  me.  She  must  have 
run  forward  on  my  left  to  keep  the  fellow  off,  for  I  heard 
a  swift  dreadful  sound  as  I  shortened  my  right  arm  to  stab 
at  the  other  again;  and  I  felt  something  fall  about  my  feet. 

I  turned  like  a  madman,  screaming  aloud  with  anger,  care- 
less of  all  else,  or  of  whether  or  no  anyone  ran  at  me  again, 
for  I  knew,  in  part  at  least  what  had  happened;  and,  at  the 
same  moment  the  yard  seemed  all  alive  with  folks  running  and 
crying  out.  The  door  at  the  head  of  the  steps  was  open,  and 
three  or  four  players  ran  out  and  down;  while  from  Little 
Russell  Street  on  the  right,  where  the  coaches  were,  a  great 
number  ran  in. 

But  I  cared  nothing  for  that  at  that  instant.  I  had  flung 
away  my  sword  on  to  the  stones  and  was  stooping  to  pick  up 
my  dear  love  who  had  saved  my  life.  There  was  already  a 
great  puddle  of  blood,  and  I  felt  it  run  hot  over  my  left  hand 
that  was  about  her — hot,  for  it  flowed  straight  from  her 
heart  that  had  been  stabbed  through  by  the  knife  that  was 
aimed  at  me. 

When  I  looked  up  again,  I  saw,  standing  against  the  light 


ODDSFISH!  411 

in  the  door  opposite,  at  the  head  of  the  steps,  the  woman 
that  had  played  the  Queen  with  that  mock-blood  still  on  her 
arm  and  breast. 


CHAPTER    VII 

"  MR.  MALLOCK,"  said  the  page,  the  King  is  heartily  sorry, 
and  wishes  to  tell  you  so  himself." 
I  said  nothing. 

Of  all  that  happened,  after  Dolly's  death  in  the  theatre- 
yard,  I  think  now  as  of  a  kind  of  dream,  though  it  changed 
my  whole  life  and  has  made  me  what  I  am.  I  have,  too, 
scarcely  the  heart  to  write  of  it;  and  what  I  say  of  it  now 
is  gathered  partly  from  what  I  can  remember  and  partly 
from  what  other  folks  told  me. 

It  must  have  been  a  terrible  sight  that  they  all  saw  as 
they  ran  in  from  the  lane,  my  man  James  first  among  them 
all.  There  lay,  bloodying  all  the  ice  about  him,  the  fellow 
whom  I  had  run  through  the  throat,  as  dead  as  the  rat  he 
was,  but  still  jerking  blood  from  beneath  his  ear;  and  there 
in  my  arms,  as  I  kneeled  on  the  stones,  lay  Dolly,  her  head 
fallen  back  and  out  of  her  hood,  as  white  as  a  lily,  dead  too 
in  an  instant,  for  she  was  stabbed  through  her  heart,  with 
her  life-blood  in  a  great  smear  down  her  side,  and  all  over 
my  hands  and  clothes. 

My  man  James  proved  again  as  faithful  a  friend  as  he  had 
always  been  to  me;  for  the  affair  had  been  no  fault  of  his: 
I  had  sent  him  for  the  coach,  and  he  was  bringing  it  up  to 
the  yard-entrance  from  the  lane,  as  Anne  had  run  out  scream- 
ing. Then  he  had  run  in,  and  my  other  man  with  him,  and 
the  crowd  after  him,  in  time  to  see  the  two  living  assassins 
make  off  into  the  dark  entrance  on  the  other  side.  A  number 
had  run  after  them,  but  to  no  purpose,  for  we  never  heard  of 
them  again;  and  my  Dolly's  murderer,  I  suppose,  is  still 
breathing  God's  air,  unless  he  has  been  hanged  long  ago  for 
some  other  crime. 

The  next  matter  was  to  get  us  home  again;  for  James  has 
told  me  that  I  would  allow  no  one  to  touch  either  her  or 


ODDSFISH!  413 

me,  until  a  physician  came  out  of  the  crowd  and  told  me 
the  truth.  Then  I  had  gathered  her  up  in  my  arms  like  a 
child  without  a  word  to  any;  and  went  out,  the  crowd  falling 
back  as  I  came,  to  where  the  coach  waited  in  Little  Russell 
Street.  Still  carrying  her  I  went  into  the  coach,  and  would 
allow  no  one  else  within;  and  so  we  drove  back  to  Covent 
Garden. 

When  we  came  there  a  part  of  the  crowd  had  already  run 
on  before  and  was  waiting.  When  the  coach  drew  up,  I 
came  out  of  the  coach,  with  my  dear  love  still  in  my  arms, 
and  went  upstairs  with  her  to  her  own  chamber  and  laid 
her  on  her  bed;  and  it  was  a  great  while  before  I  would 
let  the  women  come  at  her  to  wash  her  and  make  all  sweet 
and  clean  again.  I  lay  all  that  night  in  the  outer  parlour 
that  had  been  my  own  so  long  ago,  or,  rather,  I  went  up  and 
down  it  till  daybreak;  and  no  one  dared  to  speak  to  me  or 
to  move  away  the  supper-things  from  the  table  where  she 
and  I  had  supped  the  night  before. 

The  inquest  was  held  that  day,  but  nothing  came  of  it. 
I  related  my  story  in  the  barest  words,  saying  that  I  knew 
nothing  of  the  three  men,  and  leaving  it  to  Mr.  Chiffinch 
to  whisper  in  the  officer's  ear  to  prevent  him  asking  what 
he  should  not.  Of  the  man  I  had  killed  nothing  was  ever 
made  public,  except  that  he  was  a  tanner's  man  and  lived 
in  Wapping,  and  that  his  name  was  Belton. 

On  the  Saturday  we  went  down  to  Hare  Street,  all  together, 
with  the  body  of  the  little  maid  in  a  coach  by  itself.  I  rode 
my  horse  behind,  but  would  speak  never  a  word  to  my  Cousin 
Tom  who  went  in  a  coach,  neither  then  nor  at  any  other  time; 
neither  would  I  lie  in  Hare  Street  House,  nor  even  enter  it; 
but  I  lay  in  the  house  of  a  farmer  at  Hormead;  and  waited 
outside  the  house  for  the  funeral  to  come  out  next  day,  after 
the  Morning  Prayer  had  been  said  in  the  church.  She  lies 
now  in  the  churchyard  of  Hormead  Parva,  where  we  laid  her 
on  that  windy  Sunday,  in  the  shadow  of  the  little  Saxon 
church.  I  rode  straight  away  again  with  my  men  from  the 
churchyard  gate,  and  came  to  London  very  late  that  night. 
I  went  straight  to  my  lodgings,  and  refused  myself  to  every- 


ODDSFISH1 

one  for  three  days,  writing  letters  here  and  there,  and  giving 
orders  as  to  the  packing  of  all  my  effects.  On  the  Thursday, 
a  week  after  my  Cousin  Dolly  had  come  to  town,  I  went  to 
Mr.  Chiffinch  to  take  my  leave. 

Now  of  those  days  I  dare  say  no  more  than  that;  and  even 
if  I  would  I  could  add  very  little.  My  mind  throughout  was 
in  a  kind  of  dark  tumult,  until,  after  my  three  days  of  solitude, 
I  had  determined  what  to  do.  There  were  hours,  I  will 
not  deny,  in  which  my  very  faith  in  God  Himself  seemed 
wholly  gone;  in  which  it  was  merely  incredible  to  me  that 
if  He  were  in  Heaven  such  things  could  happen  on  earth. 
But  sorrow  of  such  a  dreadful  kind  as  this  is,  in  truth,  if 
we  will  but  yield  to  it,  a  sort  of  initiation  or  revelation,  rather 
than  an  obscurer  of  truth;  and,  by  the  time  that  my  three 
days  were  over  I  thought  I  saw  where  my  duty  lay,  and  to 
what  all  those  events  tended.  I  had  come  from  a  monk's 
life  that  I  might  taste  what  the  world  was  like;  I  had  tasted 
and  found  it  very  bitter;  there  was  not  one  affair — (for  so 
it  appeared  to  me  then) — that  had  not  failure  written  all  over 
it.  Very  well  then;  I  would  go  back  to  the  monk's  life  once 
more  if  they  would  have  me.  On  the  third  day,  then,  I  had 
written  to  my  Lord  Abbot  at  St.  Paul's-without-the-Walls, 
telling  him  that  I  was  coming  back  again,  and  had  thrown 
up  my  affairs  here. 

"  You  were  right,  my  Lord,"  I  wrote  at  the  end  of  it,  "  and 
I  was  wrong.  My  Vocation  seems  very  plain  to  me  now;  and 
I  would  to  God  that  I  had  seen  it  sooner,  or  at  the  least  been 
more  humble  to  Your  Lordship's  opinion." 

At  first  I  had  thought  that  I  would  take  no  leave  of  the 
King;  and  had  told  Mr.  Chiffinch  so,  after  I  had  announced 
to  him  what  my  intentions  were,  and  announced  them  too 
in  such  a  manner  that  he  scarcely  even  attempted  to  dissuade 
me  from  them.  But  he  had  begged  me  to  take  my  leave  in 
proper  form;  no  harm  would  be  done  by  that;  and  then 
he  had  told  me  that  His  Majesty  knew  all  that  had  passed 
and  was  very  sorry  for  it. 


ODDSFISH!  415 

I  sat  silent  when  he  said  that. 

"  Yes,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said  again,  "  and  I  mean  not  only 
for  your  own  sorrow,  but  for  his  own  treatment  of  you.  It 
hath  been  a  whim  with  him:  he  treats  often  so  those  whom 
he  loves.  Hio  Majesty  hath  something  of  a  woman  in  him, 
in  that  matter.  His  suspicions  were  real  enough,  at  least  for 
a  time." 

"  I  had  done  better  if  I  had  been  one  of  his  enemies,  then," 
said  I. 

"  It  is  of  no  use  to  be  bitter,  sir,"  said  the  page.  "  Men 
are  what  they  are.  We  would  all  be  otherwise,  no  doubt,  if 
we  could.  See  the  King,  Mr.  Mallock,  I  beg  of  you:  and  ap- 
pear once  at  least  at  Court,  publicly.  You  should  allow  him 
at  least  to  make  amends." 

I  gave  a  great  sigh. 

"Well:  it  shall  be  so"  I  said.  "But  I  must  leave  town 
on  Tuesday." 

It  was  with  a  very  strange  sense  of  detachment  that  I  went 
about  my  affairs  all  Friday  and  Saturday;  for  I  had  still 
plenty  to  do,  and  was  not  to  see  His  Majesty  till  the  Satur- 
day night  after  supper.  The  weather  was  turned  soft  again, 
and  we  had  sunshine  for  an  hour  or  two.  On  one  day  I 
watched  His  Majesty  go  to  dinner,  with  his  guards  about 
him,  and  his  gentlemen;  but  I  did  not  see  it  with  the  pleasure 
I  had  once  had  in  such  brave  sights.  It  was  with  me,  during 
those  days,  as  it  had  been  with  me  for  those  two  or  three 
moments  during  the  play,  though  in  a  gentler  manner;  for  I 
thought  more  of  the  humanity  beneath  than  of  the  show 
above ;  and  a  rotten  humanity  most  of  it  seemed  to  me.  These 
were  but  men  like  myself,  and  some  pretty  evil  too.  Those 
gentlemen  that  were  with  the  King — there  was  scarcely  one 
of  them  about  whom  I  did  not  know  something  considerably 
to  his  discredit:  there  was  my  Lord  Ailesbury  in  strict  at- 
tendance on  him ;  and  Killigrew — he  that  had  the  theatre — and 
the  less  said  of  him  the  better:  and  there  were  three  or  four 
more  like  him;  the  Earl  of  Craven  was  there,  colonel  of  the 
foot-guards;  and  Lord  Keeper  Guildford;  and  the  Earl  of 


416  ODDSFISH! 

Bath;  and  there,  in  the  midst,  the  King  himself,  with  his  blue 
silk  cloak  over  his  shoulders,  and  his  princely  walk,  going  fast 
as  he  always  did,  and  smiling — well,  what  of  those  thirteen 
known  mistresses  of  his  that  he  had  had,  as  well  as  of  those 
other — God  knows  how  many! — poor  maids,  who  must  look 
upon  him  as  their  ruin?  It  was  a  brave  sight  enough,  there 
in  the  sunshine — I  will  not  deny  that — with  the  sun  on  the 
jewels  and  the  silks,  and  on  the  buff  and  steel  of  the  guards, 
with  that  swift  kingly  figure  going  in  the  midst;  and  it  was  a 
brave  noise  that  the  music  made  as  they  went  within  the 
Banqueting-Hall;  but  how,  thought  I,  does  God  see  it  all? 
And  for  what  do  such  things  count  before  His  Holy  Pres- 
ence ? 

I  had  not  rehearsed  what  I  should  say  to  His  Majesty  when 
I  saw  him;  for  indeed  it  was  of  no  further  moment  to  me 
what  either  I  or  he  should  say.  I  should  be  gone  for  ever 
in  three  days  to  the  secret  service  of  another  King  than 
him — to  that  secret  service  where  men  need  not  lie  and  cheat 
and  spy  and  get  their  hearts  broken  after  all  and  no  gratitude 
for  it;  but  to  that  service  which  is  called  Opus  Dei  in  the 
choir,  and  is  prayer  and  study  and  contemplation  in  the  clois- 
ter and  the  cell.  There  I  should  sing,  week  by  week: 

"  Oh !  put  not  your  trust  in  princes  nor  in  any  child  of  man : 
for  there  is  no  help  in  them." 

In  such  a  mood  then — not  wholly  Christian,  I  will  admit ! — 
I  came  into  the  King's  closet,  to  take  my  leave  of  him,  on  that 
Saturday  night,  the  last  day  of  January,  in  the  year  of  Salva- 
tion sixteen  hundred  and  eighty-five. 

He  was  standing  up  when  I  entered  his  private  closet, 
with  a  very  serious  look  on  his  face;  and,  to  my  astonish- 
ment, took  a  step  towards  me,  holding  out  both  his  hands. 
I  will  not  deny  that  I  was  moved;  but  I  had  determined  to 
be  very  stiff.  So  I  saluted  him  in  the  proper  manner,  very 
carefully  and  punctually,  kneeling  to  kiss  his  hand,  and  then 
standing  upright  again.  A  little  spaniel  barked  at  me  all  the 
time. 


ODDSFISH!  417 

"  There !  there !  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said.  "  Sit  you  down ! 
sit  you  down !  There  are  some  amends  due  to  you." 

I  seated  myself  as  he  bade  me ;  and  he  leaned  towards  me 
a  little  from  his  own  chair,  with  one  leg  across  the  other. 
I  saw  that  he  limped  a  little  as  he  went  to  his  chair;  and 
learned  afterwards  that  he  had  a  sore  on  his  heel  from  walking 
in  the  Park. 

"  There  are  some  amends  due  to  you/'  he  said  again :  "  but 
first  I  wish  to  tell  you  how  very  truly  I  grieve  at  the  sorrow 
that  has  come  on  you,  and  in  my  service  too,  as  I  under- 
stand." 

(Ah!  thought  I:  then  Mr.  Chiffinch  has  made  that  plain 
enough.)  He  spoke  with  the  greatest  feeling  and  gravity; 
but  the  next  moment  he  near  ruined  it  all. 

"  Ah !  these  ladies !  "  he  said.  "  How  they  can  torment 
a  man's  heart  to  be  sure!  How  they  can  torture  us  and  yet 
send  us  into  a  kind  of  ecstasy  all  at  once!  We  hate  them 
one  day,  and  vow  never  to  see  them  again,  and  yet  when 
they  die  or  leave  us  we  would  give  the  world  to  get  them 
back  again !  " 

For  the  moment  I  felt  myself  all  stiff  with  anger  at  such 
a  manner  of  speaking,  and  then  once  more  a  great  pity  came 
on  me.  What,  after  all,  does  this  man,  thought  I,  know 
of  love  as  God  meant  it  to  be? 

"  Well,  well !  "  he  said.  "  It  is  of  no  use  speaking.  I  know 
that  well  enough.  And  it  was  that  very  cousin,  I  hear,  that 
was  Maid  to  Her  Majesty!" 

"  Yes,  Sir,"  said  I,  very  short. 

I  wondered  if  he  would  say  next  that  that  circumstance 
made  it  all  the  sadder;  but  he  was  not  gross  enough  for  that. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  I  will  say  no  more  on  that  point.  I 
am  only  grieved  that  it  should  have  come  upon  you  in  my 
service;  and  I  wish  to  make  amends.  I  already  owed  you 
a  heavy  debt,  Mr.  Mallock;  and  this  has  made  it  the  heavier; 
and  before  saying  any  more  I  wish  to  tell  you  that  I  am 
heartily  sorry  for  my  suspicions  of  you.  They  were  real 
enough,  I  am  ashamed  to  say:  I  should  have  known  better. 
But  at  least  I  have  got  rid  of  Hoskyns;  and  he  hath  gone 


418 


ODDSFISH! 


to  the  devil  altogether,  I  hear.  He  had  a  cunning  way  with 
him,  you  know,  Mr.  Mallock." 

He  spoke  almost  as  if  he  pleaded;  and  I  was  amazed  at 
his  condescension.  It  is  not  the  way  of  Kings  to  ask  pardon 
very  often. 

"Well,  Mr.  Mallock/'  he  said  next;  "and  I  hear  that  you 
wish  to  leave  my  service  ?  " 

"  If  Your  Majesty  pleases,"  said  I. 

"  My  Majesty  doth  not  please  at  all;  but  he  will  submit, 
I  suppose.  Tell  me,  sir,  why  it  is  that  you  wish  to  leave." 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  the  reasons  are  pretty  plain.  I  have 
displeased  Your  Majesty  for  the  past  half-year;  and  I  cannot 
forget  that,  even  though,  Sir,  you  are  graciously  pleased 
to  compliment  me  now.  Then  I  have  quarrelled  with  my 
Cousin  Jermyn,  so  that  I  have  not  a  kinsman  left  in  England; 
and — and  I  have  lost  her  whom  I  was  to  make  my  wife  this 
year.  Finally,  if  more  reasons  are  wanting,  I  am  weary  of  a 
world  in  which  I  have  failed  so  greatly;  and  I  must  go  back 
again  to  the  cloister,  if  they  will  have  me  there." 

All  came  with  a  rush  when  I  began  to  speak,  for  His 
Majesty's  presence  had  always  an  extraordinary  effect  upon 
me,  as  upon  so  many  others.  I  had  determined  to  say  very 
little;  yet  here  I  had  said  it  all,  and  I  felt  the  blood  in  my 
face.  He  listened  very  patiently  to  me,  with  his  head  a  little 
on  one  side,  and  his  underlip  thrust  out,  and  his  great  melan- 
choly eyes  searching  my  face. 

"  Well !  well !  well,"  he  said  again,  "  if  you  must  be  a 
monk  there  is  no  more  to  be  said.  But  what  of  your  apos- 
tleship  in  the  world?" 

"  Sir,"  I  cried — for  I  knew  what  he  meant — "  my  apostle- 
ship  as  you  name  it  has  been  a  greater  disaster  than  all 
the  rest:  and  God  knows  that  is  great  enough." 

He  was  silent  a  full  half  minute,  I  should  think,  still  look- 
ing on  me  earnestly. 

"  Are  you  so  sure  of  that?  "  said  he. 

My  heart  gave  a  leap;  but  he  held  up  his  hand  before  I 
could  speak. 

"  Wait,  sir,"  he  said.     "  I   will  tell  you  this.     You  have 


ODDSFISH!  419 

said  very  little  to  me;  but  I  vow  to  you  that  what  you 
have  said  I  have  remembered.  It  is  not  argument  that  a 
man  needs — at  least  after  the  first — but  example.  That  you 
have  given  me." 

Then  I  flushed  up  scarlet;  for  I  was  sure  he  was  mocking 
me. 

"  Sir,"   I   cried,   "  you  might  have  spared " 

He  lifted  his  eyes  a  little. 

"  I  assure  you,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said,  "  that  I  mean  what 
I  say.  You  have  been  very  faithful;  you  have  ventured 
your  life  again  and  again  for  me;  you  have  refused  rewards, 
except  the  very  smallest;  you  have  lost  even  your  sweet- 
heart in  my  service;  and  now,  when  all  is  within  your  reach 
again,  you  fling  it  back 'at  me.  It  is  not  very  gracious; 
but  it  is  very  Christian,  as  I  understand  Christianity." 

I  said  nothing.  What  was  there  to  say?  I  seemed  a  very 
poor  Christian  to  myself. 

"  Come !  come,  Mr.  Mallock,"  pursued  the  King  very  gently 
and  kindly.  "  Think  of  it  once  again.  You  shall  have  what 
you  please — your  Viscounty  or  anything  else  of  that  sort; 
and  you  shall  keep  your  lodgings  and  remain  here  as  my 
friend.  What  do  you  say  to  that?  " 

For  a  moment  again  I  hesitated;  for  it  is  not  to  everyone 
that  a  King  offers  his  friendship.  If  it  had  been  that  alone 
I  think  I  might  have  yielded,  for  I  knew  that  I  loved  this 
man  in  spite  of  all  his  wickedness  and  his  treatment  of  me — 
for  that,  and  for  my  "  apostleship  "  as  he  called  it,  I  might 
have  stayed.  But  at  the  word  Viscounty  all  turned  to  bit- 
terness: I  remembered  my  childish  dreams  and  the  sweet- 
ness of  them,  and  the  sweetness  of  my  dear  love  who  was  to 
have  shared  them;  and  all  turned  to  bitterness  and  vanity. 

"  No,  Sir,"  said  I — and  I  felt  my  lips  tremble.  "  No, 
Sir.  I  will  be  ungracious  and — and  Christian  to  the  end. 
I  am  resolved  to  go;  and  nothing  in  this  world  shall  keep 
me  from  it." 

The  King  stood  up  abruptly;  and  I  rose  with  him.  I  did 
not  know  whether  he  were  angry  or  not;  and  I  did  not 
greatly  care.  He  stepped  away  from  me,  and  began  to  walk 


420  ODDSFISH! 

up  and  down.  One  of  his  bitch-spaniels  whined  at  him  from 
her  basket,  lifting  her  great  liquid  eyes  that  were  not  unlike 
his  own;  and  he  stooped  and  caressed  her  for  a  moment. 
Then  the  clocks  began  to  chime,  one  after  the  other,  for  it 
was  eight  o'clock,  and  I  heard  them  at  it,  too,  in  the  bed- 
chamber beyond.  There  would  be  thirty  or  forty  of  them, 
I  daresay,  in  the  two  chambers.  So  for  a  minute  or  two  he 
went  up  and  down;  and  I  have  but  to  close  my  eyes  now, 
to  see  him  again.  He  was  limping  a  little  from  the  sore 
on  his  heel;  but  he  carried  himself  very  kingly,  his  swarthy 
face  looking  straight  before  him,  and  his  lips  pursed.  I 
think  that  indeed  he  was  a  little  angry,  but  that  he  was 
resolved  not  to  shew  it. 

Suddenly  he  wheeled  on  me,  and  held  out  his  hand. 

"Well,  Mr.  Mallock;  there  is  no  more  to  be  said;  and 
I  must  honour  you  for  it  whatever  else  I  do.  I  would  that 
all  my  servants  were  as  disinterested." 

I  knelt  to  kiss  his  hand.  I  think  I  could  not  have  spoken 
at  that  moment.  As  I  stood  up,  he  spoke  again. 

"When  do  you  leave  town?"  he  said. 

"On  Tuesday,  Sir." 

"  Well,  come  and  see  me  again  before  you  go.  No,  not 
in  private:  you  need  not  fear  for  that.  Come  to-morrow 
night,  to  the  levee  after  supper." 

"  I  will  do  so,  Sir,"  said  I. 

On  the  following  night  then,  which  was  Sunday,  I  pre- 
sented myself  for  the  last  time,  I  thought,  to  His  Majesty. 

I  need  not  say  that  half  a  dozen  times  since  I  had  left  him, 
my  resolution  had  faltered;  though  it  had  never  broken 
down.  I  heard  mass  in  Weld  Street;  and  there  again  I 
wondered  whether  I  had  decided  rightly,  and  again  as  I 
burned  all  my  papers  after  dinner — (for  when  a  man  begins 
afresh  he  had  best  make  a  clean  sweep  of  the  past).  I  went 
to  take  the  air  a  little,  before  sunset,  in  St.  James*  Park, 
and  from  a  good  distance  saw  His  Majesty  going  to  feed 
the  ducks,  with  a  dozen  spaniels,  I  daresay  going  after  him, 
and  a  couple  of  gentlemen  with  him,  but  no  guards  at  all. 


ODDSFISH! 

The  King  walked  much  more  slowly  that  day  than  was  his 
wont — I  suppose  because  of  the  sore  on  his  heel.  But  I 
did  not  go  near  enough  for  him  to  see  me ;  for  I  would  trouble 
him  now  no  further  than  I  need.  All  this  time — or  at  least 
now  and  again — I  wondered  a  little  as  to  whether  I  -was 
right  to  go.  I  will  not  deny  that  the  prospect  of  remaining 
had  a  little  allurement  in  it;  but  it  was  truly  not  more  than 
a  little;  and  as  evening  fell  and  my  heart  went  inwards 
again,  as  hearts  do  when  the  curtains  are  drawn,  I  wondered 
that  it  had  been  any  allurement  at  all:  for  my  life  lay  buried 
in  the  churchyard  of  Hormead  Parva,  and  I  had  best  bury 
the  rest  of  me  in  the  place  where  at  least  I  had  a  few  friends 
left.  After  supper,  about  ten  o'clock,  I  put  on  my  cloak 
and  went  across  to  the  Duchess  of  Portsmouth's  lodgings, 
where  the  levee  was  held  usually  on  such  evenings.  My 
man  James  went  with  me  to  light  me  there. 

I  do  not  think  I  have  seen  a  more  splendid  sight,  very 
often,  than  that  great  gallery,  when  I  came  into  it  that  night, 
passing  on  my  way  through  the  closet  where  I  had  once 
talked  with  Her  Grace.  It  was  all  alight  from  end  to  end 
with  candles  in  cressets,  and  on  the  great  round  table  at 
the  further  end  where  the  company  was  playing  basset,  stood 
tall  candlesticks  amidst  all  the  gold.  I  had  not  seen  this 
great  gallery  before;  and  it  was  beyond  everything,  and  far 
beyond  Her  Majesty's  own  great  chamber.  If  I  had  thought 
the  closet  fine,  this  was  a  thousand  times  more.  There  were 
great  French  tapestries  on  the  walls,  and  between  them 
paintings  that  had  been  once  Her  Majesty's,  and  those  not 
the  worst  of  them.  The  quantity  of  silver  in  the  room  aston- 
ished me:  there  were  whole  tables  of  it,  and  braziers  and 
sconces  and  cressets  beyond  reckoning;  and  there  were  at 
least  five  or  six  chiming  clocks  that  the  King  had  given  to 
Her  Grace;  and  tall  Japanese  presses  and  cabinets  of  lacquer 
which  she  loved  especially. 

There  was  a  fire  of  Scotch  coal  burning  on  the  hearth,  as 
in  His  Majesty's  own  bedchamber;  and  on  a  great  silver  couch, 
beside  this,  covered  with  silk  tapestry,  sat  the  King,  smiling 
to  himself,  with  two  or  three  dogs  beside  him,  and  Her  Grace 


ODDSFISH! 

of  Portsmouth  on  the  same  couch.  The  Duchesses  of  Cleve- 
land and  Mazarin  were  on  chairs  very  near  the  couch. 

There  was  a  great  clamour  of  voices  from  the  basset-table 
as  I  came  in  and  the  King  looked  up;  and,  as  I  went  across 
to  pay  my  respects  to  His  Majesty,  he  said  something  to  the 
Duchess,  very  merrily.  She  too  glanced  up  at  me;  and  in- 
deed she  was  a  splendid  sight  in  her  silks  and  in  the  jewels 
she  had  had  from  him. 

"  Why ;  here  is  my  friend !  "  said  the  King,  as  he  put  out 
his  hand  to  me;  and  once  more  the  dogs  yapped  at  me  from 
his  side.  He  put  his  left  hand  out  over  their  heads  and 
pressed  them  down. 

"  You  must  not  bark  at  my  friend  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  said. 
"  He  is  off  to  be  a  holy  monk." 

For  a  moment  I  thought  the  King  was  making  a  mock  of 
me;  but  it  was  not  so.  He  was  smiling  at  me  very  friendly. 

He  was  in  wonderful  good  humour  that  evening;  and  I 
heard  more  of  his  public  talk  than  ever  before;  for  he  made 
me  draw  up  a  stool  presently  upon  the  hearth.  Now  and 
again  a  gentleman  came  across  to  be  presented  to  him;  and 
others  came  and  looked  in  for  a  while  and  away  again. 
There  were  constant  comings  and  goings;  and  once,  as  a 
French  boy  was  singing  songs  to  a  spinet,  near  the  door, 
I  saw  the  serious  face  of  Mr.  Evelyn,  with  two  of  his  friends, 
look  in  upon  the  scene. 

I  cannot  remember  one  quarter  of  all  the  things  that  were 
said.  Now  the  King  was  silent,  playing  with  the  ears  of 
his  dogs  and  smiling  to  himself;  now  he  would  say  little 
things  that  stuck  in  the  memory,  God  knows  why!  For  ex- 
ample, he  said  that  he  had  eaten  two  goose's  eggs  for  sup- 
per, which  shewed  what  a  strong  stomach  he  had;  and  he 
described  to  us  a  very  fierce  duck  that  had  snapped  his  hand 
that  afternoon  in  the  park.  History  is  not  made  of  these 
things;  and  yet  sometimes  I  think  that  it  should  be;  for  those 
be  the  matters  that  interest  little  folk;  and  most  of  us  are 
no  more  than  that.  I  do  not  suppose  that  in  all  the  world 
there  is  one  person  except  myself  who  knows  that  His  Sacred 


ODDSFISH! 

Majesty  ate  two  goose's  eggs  to  his  supper  on  that  Sunday 
night. 

He  spoke  presently  of  his  new  palace  at  Winchester  that 
he  was  a-building,  and  that  was  near  finished. 

"  I  shall  be  very  happy  this  week/'  said  he,  "  for  my 
building  will  be  all  covered  in  with  lead."  (He  said  the 
same  thing  again,  later,  to  my  Lord  Ailesbury,  who  remem- 
bered it  when  it  was  fulfilled,  though  in  another  manner  than 
the  King  had  meant.) 

He  talked  too  of  "  little  Ken,"  as  he  named  him  (who  had 
been  made  Bishop  last  week),  and  of  the  story  that  so  many 
told — (for  the  King  told  his  stories  several  times  over  when 
he  was  in  a  good  humour) — and  the  way  he  told  it  to-night 
was  this. 

"  Ah!  that  little  Ken!  "  said  he.  "  Little  black  Ken!  He 
is  the  man  to  tell  me  my  sins !  Your  Grace  should  hear  him  " 
— (added  he) — "upon  the  Seventh  Commandment!  And 
such  lessons  drawn  from  Scripture  too — from  the  Old  Testa- 
ment !  " 

He  looked  up  sharply  and  merrily  at  Her  Grace  of  Ports- 
mouth as  he  said  this. 

"Well;  when  poor  Nell  and  I  went  down  to  Winchester 
a  good  while  ago,"  he  went  on,  "  what  must  little  Ken  do 
but  refuse  her  a  lodging!  This  is  a  man  to  be  a  Bishop, 
thought  I.  And  so  poor  Nell  had  to  sleep  where  she  could." 

Her  Grace  of  Portsmouth  looked  very  glum  while  this  tale 
was  told;  for  she  hated  Mrs.  Nelly  with  all  her  heart.  She 
flounced  a  little  in  her  seat;  and  one  of  the  dogs  barked  at 
her  for  it. 

"  First  a  monk  and  then  a  Duchess ! "  said  the  King. 
"  Did  you  ever  hear  of  the  good  man  of  Salisbury  who  put 
his  hand  into  my  carriage  to  greet  me,  and  was  bitten  for 
his  pains  ?  '  God  bless  Your  Maj  esty,'  said  he,  '  and  God 
damn  Your  Majesty's  dogs!' — Eh,  Fubbs?" — (for  so  he 
called  the  Duchess). 

So  he  discoursed  this  evening,  very  freely  indeed,  and 
there  was  a  number  of  men  presently  behind  his  couch,  lis- 
tening to  what  he  said.  A  great  deal  of  what  he  said  cannot 


ODDSFISH! 

be  set  down  here,  for  it  was  extraordinary  indecent  as  well 
as  profane.  Yet  there  was  a  wonderful  charm  about  his  man- 
ner, and  there  is  no  denying  it ;  and  in  this,  I  suppose,  lay  a 
great  deal  of  the  injury  he  did  to  innocent  souls,  for  it  all 
seemed  nothing  but  merriment  and  good-humour.  His  quick- 
ness of  conception,  his  pleasantness  of  wit,  his  variety  of 
knowledge,  his  tales,  his  judgment  of  men — all  these  were  be- 
yond anything  that  I  have  ever  met  in  any  other  man. 

There  was  silence  made  every  now  and  then  for  the  French 
boy  to  sing  another  song;  and  this  singing  affected  me  very 
deeply,  so  long  as  I  did  not  look  at  the  lad;  for  he  was  a 
silly-looking  creature  all  dressed  up  like  a  doll;  but  he  sang 
wonderfully  clear  and  sweet,  and  one  of  the  King's  chapel- 
gentlemen  played  for  him.  His  songs  were  all  in  French, 
and  the  substance  of  some  of  them  was  scarcely  decent;  but 
I  had  not  the  pain  of  hearing  any  that  I  had  heard  in  Hare 
Street.  During  the  singing  of  the  last  of  these  songs,  near 
midnight,  again  that  mood  fell  on  me  that  all  was  but  a 
painted  show  on  a  stage,  and  that  reality  was  somewhere  else. 
The  great  chamber  was  pretty  hot  by  now,  with  the  roaring 
fire  and  all  the  folks,  and  a  kind  of  steam  was  in  the  air,  as 
it  had  been  in  the  theatre  ten  days  ago;  and  the  faces  were 
some  of  them  flushed  and  some  of  them  pale  with  the  heat. 
The  Duchess  of  Cleveland  was  walking  up  and  down  before 
the  fire,  with  her  hands  clasped  as  if  she  were  restless;  for  she 
spoke  scarce  a  word  all  the  evening. 

When  the  song  was  done  the  King  clapped  his  hands  to 
applaud  and  stood  up;  and  all  stood  with  him. 

"  Odd's  fish !  "  said  he,  "  that  is  a  pretty  boy  and  a  pretty 
song."  Then  he  gave  a  great  yawn.  "  It  is  time  to  go  to 
bed,"  said  he. 

As  he  said  that  the  door  from  the  outer  gallery  opened; 
and  I  saw  my  Lord  Ailesbury  there — a  young  man,  very 
languid  and  handsome — who  was  Gentleman  of  the  Bed- 
chamber this  week,  though  his  turn  ended  to-morrow;  and 
behind  him  Sir  Thomas  Killigrew  who  was  Groom — (these 
two  slept  in  the  King's  bedchamber  all  night) — and  two  or 
three  pages,  one  of  them  of  the  Backstairs.  My  Lord  Ailes- 


ODDSFISH!  425 

bury  carried  a  tall  silver  candlestick  in  his  hand  with  the 
candle  burning  in  it.  He  bowed  to  His  Majesty. 

"  Did  I  not  say  so  ?  "  said  the  King. 

He  did  not  give  his  hand  to  anyone  when  he  said  good- 
night, but  turned  and  bowed  a  little  to  the  company  about 
him  on  the  hearth,  and  they  back  to  him,  the  three  duchesses 
curtseying  very  low.  But  to  me  he  gave  his  hand  to  kiss. 

"  Good-night,  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  he,  in  a  loud  voice ;  then, 
raising  it — 

"Mr.  Mallock  goes  abroad  to-morrow;  or  is  it  Tuesday?" 

"  It  is  Tuesday,  Sir,'*  said  I. 

"  Then  God  go  with  you,"  he  said  very  kindly. 

I  watched  him  go  out  to  the  door  with  his  hat  on,  all  the 
other  gentlemen  uncovered  and  bowing  to  him,  and  him  nod- 
ding and  smiling  in  very  good  humour,  though  still  limping  a 
little.  And  my  heart  seemed  to  go  with  him.  At  the  door 
however  he  stopped;  for  a  strange  thing  had  happened.  As 
my  Lord  Ailesbury  had  given  the  candle  to  the  page  who 
was  to  go  before  them,  it  had  suddenly  gone  out,  though 
there  was  no  draught  to  blow  it.  The  page  looked  very 
startled  and  afraid,  and  shook  his  head  a  little.  Then  one  of 
the  gentlemen  sprang  forward  and  took  a  candle  from  one 
of  the  cressets  to  light  the  other  with.  His  Majesty  stood 
smiling  while  this  was  done;  but  he  said  nothing.  When  it 
was  lighted,  he  turned  again,  and  waved  his  hand  to  the  com- 
pany. Then  he  went  out  after  his  gentlemen. 


CHAPTER     VIII 

IT  was  a  little  after  eight  o'clock  next  morning  that  I  heard 
first  of  His  Majesty's  seizure. 

I  had  drunk  my  morning  and  was  on  the  point  of  going 
out  with  my  man — indeed  I  was  descending  the  stairs — when 
I  heard  steps  run  past  in  the  gallery  outside;  and  then  an- 
other man  also  running.  I  came  out  as  he  went  past  and 
saw  that  he  was  one  of  Mr.  Chiffinch's  men,  very  disordered- 
looking  and  excited.  I  cried  out  to  know  what  was  the  mat- 
ter, but  he  shook  his  head  and  flapped  his  hand  at  me  as  if 
he  could  not  stay,  and  immediately  turned  off  from  the  gallery 
and  ran  out  to  the  right  in  the  direction  of  the  King's  lodg- 
ings. 

I  turned  to  my  man  James  who  was  just  behind  me. 

"Go  and  see  what  the  matter  is,"  I  said;  for  after  seeing 
the  King  so  well  and  cheerful  last  night,  I  never  thought  of 
any  illness. 

While  he  was  gone,  I  waited  just  within  my  door,  observing 
one  of  my  engravings,  with  my  hat  on.  It  was  a  very  bitter 
morning.  In  less  than  five  minutes  James  was  back  again, 
very  white  and  breathing  fast. 

"His  Majesty  is  ill,"  said  he.     "Mr.  Chiffinch— 

I  heard  no  more,  for  I  ran  out  past  him  at  a  great  pace,  and 
so  to  the  King's  lodgings. 

When  I  came  to  the  door  of  them,  all  was  in  confusion. 
There  was  but  one  guard  here — (for  the  other  was  within 
with  the  Earl  of  Craven) — and  a  little  crowd  was  pestering 
him  with  questions.  I  made  no  bones  with  him,  but  slipped 
in,  and  ran  upstairs  as  fast  as  I  could.  There  was  no  one 
in  the  first  antechamber  at  all,  and  the  door  was  open  into 
the  private  closet  beyond.  It  was  contrary  to  all  etiquette 
to  enter  this  unbidden,  but  I  cared  nothing  for  that,  and 
ran  through;  and  this  again  was  empty;  so  I  passed  out  at 

426 


ODDSFISH!  427 

the  further  door  and  found  myself  at  the  Head  of  a  little 
stair  leading  down  into  a  wide  lobby,  from  which  opened  out 
two  or  three  chambers,  with  the  King's  bedchamber  at  the 
further  end.  And  here,  in  the  lobby,  I  ran  into  the  company. 

There  was  above  a  dozen  persons  there,  at  least,  all  talk- 
ing together  in  low  voices ;  but  I  saw  no  one  I  cared  to  speak 
with,  since  I  had  no  business  in  the  place  at  all.  But  no  one 
paid  any  attention  to  me.  It  was  yet  pretty  dark  here,  for 
there  were  no  candles;  so  I  waited,  leaning  against  the  wall 
at  the  head  of  the  stairs. 

Then  the  voices  grew  louder;  and  the  crowd  opened  out  a 
little  to  let  someone  through;  and  there  came,  walking  very 
quickly,  and  talking  together,  my  Lord  Craven  leaning  on  the 
arm  of  my  Lord  Ailesbury.  My  Lord  Craven — near  ninety 
years  old  at  this  time — was  in  his  full-dress  as  colonel  of  the 
foot-guards,  for  he  had  attended  a  few  minutes  before  to 
receive  from  His  Majesty  the  pass-word  of  the  day:  and  my 
Lord  Ailesbury  was  but  half  dressed  with  his  points  hanging 
loose;  for  he  had  been  all  undressed  just  now,  when  the  King 
had  been  taken  ill. 

After  they  had  passed  by  me  I  stood  again  to  wait;  but, 
almost  immediately,  across  the  further  end  of  the  lobby  I 
saw  Mr.  Chiffinch  pass  swiftly  from  a  door  on  the  left  to 
a  door  on  the  right.  At  that  sight  I  determined  to  wait  no 
longer:  for  there  was  but  one  thought  in  my  mind,  all  this 
while. 

I  said  nothing,  but  I  came  down  the  stairs  and  laid  my 
hand  on  the  shoulder  of  a  physician  (I  think  he  was),  who 
stood  in  front  of  me,  and  pushed  him  aside,  as  if  I  had  a 
right  to  be  there;  and  so  I  went  through  them  very  quickly, 
and  into  the  room  where  I  had  seen  Mr.  Chiffinch  go.  The 
door  was  ajar:  I  pushed  it  open  and  went  in. 

It  was  a  pretty  small  room,  and  there  were  no  beds  in 
it;  it  had  presses  round  the  walls:  a  coal  fire  burned  in 
the  hearth  in  a  brazier,  and  a  round  table  was  in  the  midst, 
lit  by  a  single  candle,  and  near  the  candle  stood  a  heap  of 
surgical  instruments  and  a  roll  of  bandages.  (This  was  the 
room,  I  learned  later,  next  to  the  Royal  Bedchamber,  where 


428  ODDSFISH! 

the  surgeons  had  attended  half  an  hour  ago  to  dress  the  King' 
heel.)  There  were  three  persons  in  the  room  beyond  th 
table,  talking  very  earnestly  together.  Two  of  them  I  die 
not  know;  but  the  third  was  Mr.  Chiffinch.  They  all  thre 
turned  when  I  came  in,  and  stared  at  me. 

"Why—"  began  the  page— "  Mr.  Mallock,  what  d( 
you " 

He  came  towards  me  with  an  air  of  impatience. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch/'  said  I,  in  a  low  voice — "  how  is  Hi 
Majesty.  I " 

The  further  door  which  stood  at  the  head  of  three  or  fou 
steps  leading  up  to  it  opened  sharply,  and  the  page  whiskec 
round  to  see  what  it  was.  A  face  looked  out,  very  peaked 
looking  and  white,  and  nodded  briskly  at  the  bandages  am 
the  instruments;  the  two  other  men  darted  at  those,  seizec 
them,  ran  up  the  stairs  and  vanished,  leaving  the  door  bu 
a  crack  open  behind  them. 

Then  Mr.  Chiffinch  turned  and  stared  at  me  again.  H 
appeared  very  pale  and  agitated. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  said  I,  "  I  will  take  no  refusal  at  all 
How  is  His  Maj  esty  ?  " 

His  lips  worked  a  little,  and  I  could  see  that  he  was  think 
ing  more  of  what  was  passing  in  the  chamber  beyond  thai 
of  my  presence  here. 

"  They  are  blooding  him  again,"  he  said ;  and  then — 
"  What  are  you  doing  here  ?  " 

I  took  him  by  the  lapel  of  his  coat  to  make  him  attend 
to  me;  for  his  eyes  were  wandering  back  like  a  mule's,  at 
every  sound  behind. 

"See  here/'  said  I.  "If  His  Majesty  is  ill,  it  is  time  to 
send  for  a  priest.  I  tell  you " 

"  Priest ! "  snapped  the  page  in  a  whisper.  "  What  the 
devil " 

I  shook  him  gently  by  his  coat. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch;  I  will  have  the  truth.     Is  the  King  dying?  " 

"  No,  he  is  not  then !  "  he  whispered  angrijy.     "  Hark— 

He  tore  himself  free,  darted  back  to  the  further  door,  and 
stood  there,  at  the  foot  of  the  stairs,  with  his  head  lowered. 


ODDSFISH!  429 

listening.  Even  from  where  I  was  I  could  hear  a  gentle 
sort  of  sound  as  of  moaning  or  very  heavy  breathing,  and 
then  a  sharp  whisper  or  two;  and  then  the  noise  of  something 
trickling  into  a  basin.  Presently  all  was  quiet  again;  and 
the  page  lifted  his  head.  I  stood  where  I  was;  for  I  know 
how  it  is  with  men  in  a  sudden  anxiety:  they  will  snap  and 
snarl,  and  then  all  at  once  turn  confidential.  I  was  not 
disappointed. 

After  he  had  waited  a  moment  or  two  he  came  towards 
me  once  more. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  whispered,  "  the  King  needs  no  priest. 
He  is  not  so  ill  as  that;  and  he  is  unconscious  too  at  present." 

"  Tell  me,"  I  said. 

Again  he  glanced  behind  him;  but  there  was  no  further 
sound.  He  came  a  little  nearer. 

"  His  Majesty  was  taken  with  a  fit  soon  after  he  awakened. 
Mr.  King  was  here,  by  good  fortune,  and  blooded  him  at 
once.  Now  they  are  blooding  him  again.  Her  Majesty 
hath  been  sent  for.'* 

"  He  is  not  dying?     You  will  swear  that  to  me?  " 

He  nodded:  and  again  he  appeared  to  listen.  I  took  him 
by  his  button  again. 

"  Mr.  Chiffinch,"  said  I,  "  you  must  attend  to  me.  This 
is  the  very  thing  I  have  waited  for.  If  there  is  any  imminent 
danger  you  must  send  for  a  priest.  You  promise  me  that?  " 

He  shook  his  head  violently:  so  I  tried  another  attack. 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  then  you  will  allow  me  to  remain  here  ? 
Is  the  Duke  come  ?  " 

"  Not  yet,"  said  he.     "  Ailesbury  is  gone  for  him." 

"  Well — I  may  remain  then  ?  " 

There  came  a  knock  on  the  inner  side  of  the  further  door; 
and  he  tore  himself  free  again.  But  I  was  after  him,  and 
seized  him  once  more. 

"  I   may  remain?  " 

"  Yes,  yes,"  he  snapped,  "  as  you  will !     Let  me  go,  sir." 

He  whisked  himself  out  of  my  hold,  and  went  swiftly  up 
the  stairs  and  through  the  door,  shutting  it  behind  him, 
giving  me  but  the  smallest  glimpse  of  a  vast  candle-lit  room 


430  ODDSFISH! 

and  men's  heads  all  together  and  the  curtains  of  a  great  bed 
near  the  door.     But  I  was  content:  I  had  got  my  way. 

As  I  walked  up  and  down  the  antechamber,  very  softly, 
on  tip-toe,  it  appeared  to  me  that  I  was,  as  it  were,  two 
persons  in  one.  On  the  one  side  there  was  the  conviction 
and  the  determination  that,  come  what  would,  I  must  get 
a  priest  to  the  King  if  he  took  a  turn  at  all  for  the  worse — 
since,  for  the  present,  I  believed  Mr.  Chiffinch's  word  that  His 
Majesty  was  not  actually  dying.  (This  was  not  at  all  what 
the  physicians  thought  at  that  time;  but  I  did  not  know 
that.)  This  conviction,  I  suppose,  had  always  been  with 
me  that  it  was  for  this  that  in  God's  Providence  I  had  been 
sent  to  England;  at  least,  even  in  the  moment  that  I  had 
left  my  house  and  run  down  the  gallery,  there  it  was,  all 
full-formed  and  mature.  As  to  how  it  was  to  be  done  I 
had  no  idea  at  all;  yet  that  it  would  be  done  I  had  no  doubt. 
On  the  other  side,  however,  every  faculty  of  observation 
that  I  had,  was  alert  and  tight-stretched.  I  remember  the 
very  pattern  of  the  carpet  I  walked  on;  the  pictures  on  the 
walls;  and  the  carving  on  the  presses.  Above  all  I  remem- 
ber the  little  door  in  the  corner  of  the  chamber — the  third; 
and  how  I  opened  it,  and  peeped  down  the  winding  staircase 
that  led  from  it.  (I  did  not  know  then  what  part  that  little 
door  and  winding  staircase  was  to  play  in  my  great  design !) 
Now  and  again  I  looked  out  of  the  single  window  at  the  river 
beneath  in  the  early  morning  sunshine;  now  I  paced  the 
floor  again.  It  seemed  to  me  that  I  had  found  a  very  pretty 
post  of  observation,  as  this  appeared  a  very  private  little 
room,  and  that  I  should  not  be  troubled  here.  The  great  ante- 
rooms, I  knew,  where  the  company  would  be,  must  lie  on  the 
further  side  of  the  bedchamber. 

I  suppose  it  would  be  about  five  minutes  after  Mr.  Chiffinch 
had  left  me  that  Her  Majesty  came.  The  first  I  knew  of  it 
was  a  great  murmur  of  voices  and  footsteps  without  the 
door.  I  went  to  the  door  and  pulled  it  a  little  open  so  that 
I  could  see  without  being  seen,  and  looked  up  the  lobby  be- 
yond the  King's  chamber;  for  in  that  direction,  I  knew,  lay 


ODDSFISH!  431 

Her  Majesty's  apartments.  A  couple  of  pages  came  first, 
very  hastily,  with  rods;  and  then  immediately  after  them 
Her  Majesty  herself,  hurrying  as  fast  as  she  could,  scarce 
decently  dressed,  with  a  cloak  flung  over  all,  with  a  hood. 
Behind  her  came  two  or  three  of  her  ladies.  I  saw  the  poor 
woman's  face  very  plain  for  a  moment,  since  there  was  no 
one  between  me  and  her;  and  even  at  that  distance  I  could 
see  her  miserable  agitation;  her  brown  face  was  all  sallow 
and  her  mouth  hung  open.  Then  she  whisked  after  the 
pages  through  the  door  into  the  great  antechamber  that  lay 
beyond  the  bedroom.  I  went  back  again,  to  shut  the  door 
and  listen  at  the  other;  for  I  knew  that  the  King's  bed  was 
close  to  it  (though  he  was  not  in  it  at  this  time,  but  still  in 
the  barber's  chair  where  he  had  been  blooded)  ;  and  pres- 
ently I  heard  the  poor  soul  begin  to  wail  aloud.  I  heard 
voices  too,  as  if  soothing  her,  for  all  the  physicians  were 
there,  and  half  a  dozen  others;  but  the  wailing  grew,  as  she 
saw,  I  suppose,  in  what  condition  His  Majesty  was — (for 
he  still  seemed  all  unconscious) — till  she  began  to  shriek. 
That  was  a  terrible  sound,  for  she  laughed  and  sobbed  too, 
all  at  once,  in  a  kind  of  fit.  I  could  hear  the  tone  very  plain 
through  the  door,  though  I  could  not  hear  what  she  said; 
and  the  voices  of  Mr.  King  and  others  who  endeavoured  to 
quiet  her.  Gradually  the  wailing  and  shrieking  grew  less 
as  they  forced  her  away  and  out  again;  till  I  heard  it,  as  she 
went  back  again  to  her  own  apartments,  die  away  in  spasms. 
Poor  soul  indeed!  she  was  nothing  accounted  of  in  that  Court, 
yet  she  loved  the  King  very  dearly  in  spite  of  his  neglect 
towards  her.  She  could  not  even  speak  to  him  (I  heard  after- 
wards), though  he  had  spoken  her  name  and  asked  for  her, 
after  his  first  blooding. 

Half  an  hour  later — (in  the  meantime  no  one  had  come 
in  to  me,  and  I  could  only  walk  up  and  down  and  listen  as 
well  as  I  could) — I  heard  again  the  murmur  of  voices  in  the 
lobby,  and  steps  coming  swiftly  down  from  the  private  closet. 
Again  I  was  in  time  at  the  door  to  see  who  it  was  that  went 
by;  and  it  was  the  Duke  of  York;  with  my  Lord  Ailesbury 


ODDSFISH! 

who  had  gone  to  fetch  him  from  St.  James*.  He  went  by 
me  so  near  that  I  could  hear  his  quick  breathing  from  his 
run  upstairs;  and  he  had  come  in  such  a  hurry  that  he  had 
only  one  shoe  on,  and  on  the  other  foot  a  slipper.  He  went 
very  near  at  a  run  up  the  lobby  and  up  a  step  or  two,  and 
into  the  great  antechamber  and  so  round  to  the  Bedchamber; 
and  I  presently  heard  him  enter  it.  Indeed  I  was  very  fa- 
vourably placed  for  observing  all  that  went  on. 

It  was  about  eleven  o'clock,  as  I  suppose,  when  I  first  heard 
His  Majesty's  voice;  and  the  relief  of  it  to  me  was  extraor- 
dinary. 

I  had  ventured  up  the  stair  or  two  that  led  from  this  room 
into  the  Bedchamber,  and  had,  very  delicately,  opened  the 
door  a  crack  so  as  to  hear  more  plainly;  but  I  dared  not 
look  through  for  fear  that  I  should  be  seen. 

For  a  long  while  I  had  heard  nothing  but  whispers;  and 
once  the  yapping  of  a  little  dog,  very  sharp  and  startling, 
but  the  noise  was  stifled  almost  immediately,  and  the  dog, 
I  suppose,  taken  out  at  the  other  door.  Once  or  twice  too 
had  come  the  sudden  chiming  of  all  the  clocks  that  were  in 
the  Bedchamber. 

I  heard  first  a  great  groan  from  the  bed,  to  which  by  now 
they  had  moved  him  from  the  chair,  and  then  Ailesbury's 
name  spoken  in  a  very  broken  voice.  (My  own  heart  beat 
so  loud  when  I  heard  that,  that  I  could  scarce  listen  to 
what  followed.) 

"Yes,  Sir,"  came  Ailesbury's  voice;  and  then  a  broken 
murmur  again.  (He  was  thanking  him,  I  heard  afterwards 
from  Mr.  Chiffinch,  for  his  affection  to  him,  and  for  having 
caused  him  to  be  bled  so  promptly  by  Mr.  King,  and  for 
having  sent  Chiffinch  to  him  to  bring  him  back  from  his 
private  closet.) 

Presently  he  grew  stronger;  and  I  could  hear  what  he  said. 

"  I  went  there,"  he  said,  "  for  the  King's  Drops.  ...  I 
felt  very  ailing  when  I  rose.  ...  I  walked  about  there;  but 
felt  no  better.  I  nearly  fell  from  giddiness  as  I  came  down 
again." 


ODDSFISH!  433 

He  spoke  very  slowly,  but  strongly  enough;  and  he  gave 
a  great  sigh  at  the  end. 

Presently  he  spoke  again. 

"  Why,  brother,"  he  said.     "  So  there  you  are !  " 

I  heard  the  Duke's  voice  answer  him,  but  so  brokenly 
and  confusedly  that  I  could  hear  no  words. 

"No,  no,"  said  His  Majesty,  "I  do  very  well  now." 

I  came  down  the  stairs  again,  shaking  all  over.  I  cannot 
say  how  affected  I  was  to  hear  his  voice  again;  and  I  think 
there  could  scarce  be  a  man  in  the  place  any  less  affected. 
He  was  a  man  who  compelled  love  in  an  extraordinary  fashion. 
I  felt  that  if  he  died  I  could  bear  no  more  at  all. 

I  was  walking  up  and  down  again  very  softly,  when  the 
door  into  the  Bedchamber  was  noiselessly  pulled  open,  and 
Mr.  Chiffinch  came  down  the  stairs.  That  dreadful  look  of 
tightness  and  pain  was  gone  from  his  face:  he  was  almost 
smiling.  He  nodded  at  me,  very  cheerful. 

"  He  is  better.  The  King's  Majesty  is  much  better,"  he 
whispered.  Then  his  face  twitched  with  emotion;  and  I 
saw  that  he  was  very  near  crying.  I  was  not  far  from  it 
myself. 


CHAPTER    IX 

How  the  hours  of  that  day  went  by  I  scarcely  know  at  all. 
I  went  back  to  dine  in  my  lodgings,  and  to  counter-order  all 
preparations  for  my  going  on  the  morrow,  so  soon  as  I  knew 
that  His  Majesty  was  out  of  any  immediate  danger;  for  I 
could  not  find  it  in  my  heart  to  leave  town  until  he  was  alto- 
gether recovered.  In  the  afternoon,  before  going  back  to 
inquire  how  he  was,  I  walked  a  good  while  in  the  court  and 
the  Privy  Garden,  though  the  day  was  very  raw  and  cold. 

Whitehall  had  been  put  as  in  a  state  of  siege  from  the 
first  moment  that  the  King's  illness  was  known.  The  gates 
were  closed  to  all  but  those  who  had  lodgings  in  the  Palace, 
and  those  who  were  allowed  special  entry  by  His  Royal 
Highness.  The  sentries  everywhere  were  greatly  augmented; 
both  horse  and  foot  were  placed  at  every  entrance;  and  the 
greatest  strictness  was  observed  that  no  letter  should  pass 
out  either  to  His  Grace  of  Monmouth  or  to  the  Prince  of 
Orange:  even  M.  Barillon  had  but  permission  to  send  one 
letter  to  the  French  King  as  to  His  Majesty's  state.  All 
this  was  to  hinder  any  rising  or  invasion  that  might  be  made 
either  within  or  without  the  kingdom.  I  was  in  the  court 
when  the  couriers  rode  out  with  despatches  to  the  Lords 
Lieutenant  of  the  Counties  with  advices  as  to  what  to  do 
should  His  Majesty  die;  and  I  was  there  too  when  the  deputies 
came  from  the  Lord  Mayor  and  Aldermen  and  Lieutenants  of 
the  City  to  inquire  for  the  King  and  to  assure  His  Royal 
Highness  of  their  loyalty  and  support.  This  was  of  the 
greatest  satisfaction  to  the  Duke;  for  I  suppose  that  he  did 
not  feel  very  secure. 

A  little  before  supper  I  went  round  to  Mr.  Chiffinch's; 
and,  by  the  greatest  good  fortune  found  him  on  the  point  of 
returning  to  His  Majesty's  lodgings.  He  gave  me  an  ex- 
cellent account  as  we  went  together. 

"The  physicians  declare/'  said  he;  "that  His  Majesty  is 

434, 


ODDSFISH!  435 

out  of  danger:  and  hath  permitted  the  Duke  to  tell  the  for- 
eign ministers  so.  They  have  had  another  consultation  on 
him;  and  have  prescribed  God  knows  what!  Cowslip  and 
Sal  of  Ammoniac,  sneezing  mixtures,  plasters  for  his  feet; 
and  he  is  to  have  broth  and  ale  to  his  supper.  They  are  de- 
termined to  catch  hold  of  his  disorder  somehow,  if  not  by  one 
thing  then  by  another.  To  tell  the  truth  I  think  they  know 
not  at  all  what  is  the  matter  with  him.  They  have  taken 
near  thirty  ounces  of  blood  from  him  too,  to-day.  If  the 
King  were  not  a  giant  for  health  he  would  have  died  of  his 
remedies,  I  think !  " 

He  talked  so;  but  he  was  in  very  cheerful  spirits;  and 
before  he  left  me  at  the  door  of  the  lodgings  I  had  got  an 
order  from  him  to  admit  me  everywhere  within  reason.  It 
was  something  of  a  surprise  to  me  to  see  how  dearly  this 
man — whose  name  was  so  evil  spoken  of,  and,  I  fear  with  good 
cause  enough — yet  loved  his  master. 

On  Tuesday  morning  I  was  up  again  very  early,  and  round 
at  His  Majesty's  lodgings.  I  went  up  by  the  other  way  and 
into  the  great  antechamber;  and  there  I  met  with  one  of  the 
physicians  who  was  just  come  from  the  consultation  that 
twelve  of  them  had  held  together.  He  was  a  very  com- 
municative fellow  and  told  me  that  six  of  them  had  been  with 
His  Majesty  all  night,  and  that  His  Majesty  had  slept  pretty 
well;  and  that — to  encourage  him,  I  suppose! — ten  more 
ounces  of  blood  had  been  taken  from  his  neck.  He  was 
proceeding  to  speak  of  some  new  remedies — and  mentioned 
an  anti-spasmodic  julep  of  Black  Cherry  Water  that  had  been 
prescribed,  when  another  put  out  his  head  and  called  to  him 
from  the  Bedchamber;  and  he  went  away  back  into  it  with 
an  important  air. 

All  that  day  too  I  never  left  Whitehall.  There  were  great 
crowds  in  all  the  streets  and  outside  the  gates,  I  heard,  but 
their  demeanour  was  very  quiet  and  sorrowful;  and  prayers 
were  said  all  day  long  in  the  churches.  When  I  went  back 
to  the  antechamber  in  the  evening  I  saw  my  Lord  Bishop 
of  Ely  there,  and  heard  from  one  of  the  pages  that  he  was 


436  ODDSFISH! 

to  spend  that  night  in  His  Majesty's  room.  So  I  gathered 
from  that  that  the  physicians  were  not  very  confident  even 
yet,  though  couriers  had  been  sent  out  again  to-day  to  bear 
the  news  of  the  King's  happy  recovery;  and  I  was,  besides, 
in  two  minds,  when  I  saw  the  Bishop  there,  as  to  what  I 
should  do  about  a  Catholic  priest.  If  I  had  seen  His  Royal 
Highness  then,  I  think  I  should  have  said  something  to  him 
upon  it;  but  the  Duke  was  in  the  Bedchamber;  and  there 
I  dared  not  yet  penetrate. 

On  the  Wednesday  morning,  when  I  went  early  to  inquire, 
I  heard  that  again  His  Majesty  had  slept  well,  and  that  the 
physicians  were  well  satisfied;  I  saw  no  one  but  a  man  of 
Mr.  Chiffinch's,  who  told  me  that;  and  that  Dr.  Ken,  my 
Lord  Bishop  of  Bath  and  Wells,  was  with  the  King;  and  I 
went  away  content:  but  when  I  went  back  again,  for  the 
third  time  that  day,  just  before  supper-time,  I  saw  from  the 
faces  in  the  antechamber  that  all  was  not  so  well.  Yet  I 
could  get  nothing  out  of  anyone,  and  did  not  wish  to  press 
too  hard  lest  I  should  be  turned  out  altogether.  I  saw  my 
friend  of  yesterday,  whose  name  I  have  never  yet  learned, 
hurrying  across  the  end  of  the  chamber  into  another  little 
room  where  the  physicians  had  their  consultations — (it  was, 
I  think,  my  Lord  Ailesbury's  dressing-room) — but  I  was  not 
in  time  to  catch  him;  so  I  went  away  again  in  some  little 
dismay,  yet  not  greatly  alarmed  even  now.  The  Bishop,  I 
thought,  could  at  least  do  him  no  great  harm. 

On  the  Thursday  morning,  before  I  was  dressed,  my  man 
brought  me  the  London  Gazette  that  had  been  printed  about 
six  o'clock  the  evening  before.  The  announcement  as  to 
the  King's  health  ran  as  follows.  (I  cut  out  the  passage  then 
and  there  and  put  it  in  my  diary.) 

"  At  the  Council  Chamber,  Whitehall,  the  4th  of  February, 
1684  [1685  N.  S.],  at  five  in  the  afternoon. 

"  The  Lords  of  His  Majesty's  most  Honourable  Privy 
Council  have  thought  fit,  for  preventing  false  reports,  to 
make  known  that  His  Majesty,  upon  Monday  morning  last, 


ODDSFISH!  437 

was  seized  with  a  violent  fit  that  gave  great  cause  to  fear 
the  issue  of  it;  but  after  some  hours  an  amendment  appeared, 
which  with  the  blessing  of  God  being  improved  by  the  applica- 
tion of  proper  and  seasonable  remedies,  is  now  so  advanced, 
that  the  physicians  have  this  day  as  well  as  yesterday  given 
this  account  to  the  Council,  viz. — That  they  conceive  His 
Majesty  to  be  in  a  condition  of  safety,  and  that  he  will  in  a 
few  days  be  freed  from  his  distemper. 

"  JOHN  NICHOLAS." 

Yes,  thought  I,  that  is  all  very  well;  but  what  of  yester- 
day after  five  o'clock,  and  what  of  this  morning? 

As  I  went  to  His  Majesty's  lodgings  an  hour  afterwards 
I  heard  the  bells  from  the  churches  beginning  to  peal,  to  call 
the  folks  to  give  thanks;  yet  the  faces  within  the  Palace 
were  very  different.  When  I  went  up  into  the  great  ante- 
chamber, the  physicians  were  just  dispersing;  and,  by  good 
fortune  I  was  at  hand  when  my  Lord  Keeper  North  ques- 
tioned Sir  Charles  Scarburgh  as  he  went  back  to  His 
Majesty's  chamber. 

"  Well?  "  said  he,  very  short.     "  What  do  you  say  to-day?  " 

"  My  Lord ! "  said  Sir  Charles,  "  we  conclude  that  His 
Majesty  hath  an  intermittent  fever." 

"And  what  the  devil  of  that?"  asked  my  Lord.  "Could 
anything  be  worse  ?  " 

(There  was  a  little  group  round  them  by  now;  and  I  could 
see  one  of  the  Bishops  listening  a  little  way  off.) 

"  My  Lord/'  said  the  other,  "  at  least  we  know  now  what 
to  do." 

"  And  what  is  that  ?  "  snapped  my  Lord  who  seemed  in 
a  very  ill  humour. 

"  To  give  the  Cortex,  my  Lord,"  said  Sir  Charles  with 
great  dignity;  for  indeed  the  manner  of  my  Lord  was  most 
insolent. 

My  Lord  grunted  at  that. 

"  Peruvian  Bark,  my  Lord/'  said  the  physician,  as  if  speak- 
ing to  a  child. 


438  ODDSFISH! 

Well;  there  was  no  more  to  be  got  that  morning.  I  was 
in  and  out  for  a  little,  again  in  two  minds  as  to  what  to  do. 
His  Royal  Highness  went  through  the  antechamber  at  one 
time  (to  meet  M.  Barillon,  as  I  saw  presently,  and  conduct 
him  to  the  King's  chamber),  a  little  before  dinner,  but  at 
such  a  quickness,  and  with  such  sorrow  in  his  face  that  I 
dared  not  speak  to  him.  I  went  back  to  dinner;  and  fell 
asleep  afterwards  in  my  chair,  so  greatly  was  I  wearied  out 
with  anxiety;  and  did  not  wake  till  near  four  o'clock.  Then, 
thank  God!  I  did  awake;  and,  with  all  speed  went  again  to 
His  Majesty's  lodgings;  and  this  time,  guided,  I  suppose, 
by  Divine  Providence,  for  I  had  no  clear  intention  in  what  I 
did,  I  went  up  the  private  way,  through  the  King's  closet 
where  I  found  no  one,  down  the  steps,  and  so  into  the  little 
chamber  where  I  had  talked  with  Mr.  Chiffinch  on  the  first 
morning  of  His  Majesty's  distemper. 

The  chamber  was  empty;  but  immediately  after  I  had  en- 
tered— first  knocking,  and  getting  no  answer — who  should 
come  through,  his  face  all  distorted  with  sorrow,  but  Mr. 
Chiffinch  himself!  There  was  but  one  candle  on  the  table, 
but  by  its  light,  I  saw  how  it  was  with  him. 

I  went  up  immediately,  and  took  him  by  the  arms;  he 
stared  at  me  like  a  terrified  child. 

"  My  friend,"  said  I,  "  I  must  have  no  further  delay.  You 
must  take  me  to  His  Majesty." 

He  shook  his  head  violently;  but  he  could  not  speak.  As 
for  me,  all  my  resolution  rose  up  as  never  before. 

I  gripped  him  tighter. 

"  I  ask  but  five  minutes,"  I  said.     "  But  that  I  must  have !  " 

"  I — I  cannot,"  said  he,  very  low. 

I  let  go  of  him,  and  went  straight  towards  the  steps  that 
led  up  into  His  Majesty's  room.  As  I  reached  the  foot  of 
them,  he  had  seized  my  arm  from  behind. 

"Where  are  you  going?"  he  whispered  sharply.  "That 
is  the  way  to  the  King's  room." 

I  turned  and  looked  at  him. 

"  Yes/'  I  said  very  slowly,  "  I  know  that." 

"  Well — well,  you  cannot,"  he  stammered. 


ODDSFISH!  439 

"  Then  you  must  take  me,"  I  said. 

He  still  stared  at  me  as  if  either  he  or  I  were  mad.  Then, 
of  a  sudden  his  face  changed;  and  he  nodded.  I  could  see 
how  distraught  he  was,  and  unsettled. 

"  I  will  take  you,"  he  whispered,  "  I  will  take  you,  Mr. 
Mallock.  For  God's  sake,  Mr.  Mallock " 

He  went  up  the  steps  before  me,  in  his  soft  shoes;  and  I 
went  after,  as  quietly  as  I  could.  As  he  put  his  hand  on  the 
handle  he  turned  again. 

"  For  Christ's  sake !  "  he  whispered  in  a  terrible  soft  voice. 
"  For  Christ's  sake !  It  must  be  but  five  minutes.  I  am  sent 
to  fetch  the  Bishops,  Mr.  Mallock." 

He  opened  the  door  a  little,  and  peered  in.  I  could  see 
nothing,  so  dark  was  the  chamber  within — but  the  candles 
at  the  further  end  and  a  few  faces  far  away.  A  great  curtain, 
as  a  wall,  shut  off  all  view  to  my  left. 

"  Quick,  Mr.  Mallock,"  he  whispered,  turning  back  to 
me.  "  This  side  of  the  bed  is  clear.  Go  in  quick;  he  is 
turned  on  this  side.  I  will  fetch  you  out  this  way  again." 

He  was  his  own  man  again,  swift  and  prompt  and  steady. 
As  for  me,  the  beating  of  my  heart  made  me  near  sick. 
Then  I  felt  myself  pushed  within  the  chamber;  and  heard 
the  door  close  softly  behind  me. 

At  first  I  could  see  nothing  on  this  side,  as  I  had  been 
staring  over  the  candle  just  now,  except  a  group  of  persons 
at  the  further  end  of  the  great  room,  and  among  them  the 
white  of  a  Bishop's  rochet;  and  the  candlelight  and  firelight 
on  the  roof.  The  clocks  were  all  chiming  four  as  I  came 
in,  and  drowned,  I  suppose,  the  sounds  of  my  coming. 

Then,  almost  immediately  I  saw  that  the  curtains  were 
drawn  back  on  this  side  of  the  great  bed  that  stood  in  this 
end  of  the  room,  and  that  they  were  partly  drawn  forward 
on  the  other  side,  so  as  to  shroud  from  the  candlelight  him 
who  lay  within  them,  and  beneath  the  Royal  Arms  of  Eng- 
land emblazoned  on  the  state. 

And  then  I  saw  him. 

He  was  lying  over  on  this  side  of  the  bed,  propped  on  high 


440  ODDSFISH! 

pillows,  but  leaning  all  over,  and  breathing  loudly.  His  left 
arm  was  flung  over  the  coverlet;  and  his  fingers  contracted 
and  opened  and  contracted  again.  I  went  forward  swiftly 
and  noiselessly,  threw  myself  on  my  knees,  laid  my  hand 
softly  beneath  his,  and  kissed  it. 

"  Eh  ?  eh  ?  "  murmured  the  heavy  voice.     "  Who  is  it  ?  " 

I  saw  the  curtain  on  the  other  side  pulled  a  little,  and  the 
face  of  Sir  Charles  Scarburgh  all  in  shadow  peer  in:  il 
looked  very  lean  and  sharp  and  high-browed.  The  King 
flapped  his  hand  in  a  gesture  of  dismissal,  and  the  face  van- 
ished again. 

"  Sir,"  whispered  I,  very  earnestly,  yet  so  low  that  I  think 
none  but  he  could  have  heard  me.  "Sir:  it  is  Roger  Mai- 
lock " 

"  Mallock,"  repeated  the  voice;  yet  so  low  that  it  coulc 
not  have  been  understood  by  any  but  me.  His  face  was  very 
near  to  me;  and  it  was  shockingly  lined  and  patched,  and  the 
eyes  terribly  hollow  and  languid:  but  there  was  intelligence 
in  them. 

"  Sir,"  said  I,  "  you  spoke  to  me  once  of  an  apostleship." 

"  So  I  did,"  murmured  the  voice.     "  So  I " 

"  Sir:  I  am  come  to  fulfill  it.  It  is  not  too  late.  Sir;  the 
Bishops  are  sent  for.  Have  nothing  to  say  to  them!  Sir, 
let  me  get  you  a  true  priest — For  Christ's  sake !  " 

The  cold  fingers  that  I  yet  held,  twitched  and  pressed  on 
mine.  I  was  sure  that  he  understood. 

He  drew  a  long  breath. 

"And  what  of  poor  little  Ken?"  he  murmured.  "Poor 
little  Ken:  he  will  break  his  heart — if  he  may  not  say  his 
prayers." 

"  Let  him  say  what  he  will,  Sir.  But  no  sacrament!  Let 
me  send  for  a  priest !  " 

There  was  a  long  silence.  He  sighed  once  or  twice.  His 
fingers  all  the  while  twitched  in  mine,  pressing  on  them,  anc 
opening  again.  Ah!  how  I  prayed  in  my  heart;  to  Mary 
conceived  without  sin  to  pray  for  this  poor  soul  that  ha< 
such  a  load  on  him.  The  minutes  were  passing.  I  thought 
maybe,  he  was  unconscious  again.  And  the  Bishops,  if  they 


ODDSFISH!  441 

were  in  the  Palace,  might  be  here  at  any  instant,  and  all  un- 
done. I  am  not  ashamed  to  say  that  I  entreated  even  my  own 
dear  love  to  pray  for  us.  She  had  laid  down  her  life  in  his 
service  and  mine.  Might  it  not  be,  thought  I,  even  in  this 
agony,  that  by  God's  permission,  she  were  near  to  help  me? 

He  stirred  again  at  last. 

"  Going  to  be  a  monk,"  said  he,  "  going  to  be  a  monk, 
Roger  Mallock.  Pray  for  me,  Roger  Mallock,  when  you  be 
a  monk." 

He  went  on  as  if  he  had  not  heard  me. 

"  Yes,"  murmured  he.  "  A  very  good  idea.  But  you  will 
never  do  it.  Go  to  Fubbs,  Roger  Mallock.  Fubbs  will  do 
it." 

"For  a  priest,  Sir?"  whispered  I,  scarcely  able  to  believe 
that  he  meant  it. 

"  Yes,"  he  murmured  again,  "  for  a  priest.  Yes:  for  God's 
sake.  Fubbs  will  do  it.  Fubbs  is  always " 

His  voice  trailed  off  into  silence  once  more;  and  his  fingers 
relaxed.  At  the  same  instant  I  heard  the  door  open  softly 
behind,  and,  turning,  I  saw  the  page's  face  again,  lean  and 
anxious,  peering  in  at  me.  Then  his  finger  appeared  in  the 
line  of  light,  beckoning. 

I  kissed  the  loose  cold  fingers  once  again;  rose  up  and 
went  out  on  tip-toe. 


CHAPTER     X 

THEN  began  for  me  the  most  amazing  adventure  of  all.  My 
adventures  had  indeed  been  very  surprising — some  of  them; 
and  my  last  I  had  thought  to  be  the  greatest  of  all,  and  the 
most  heart-breaking,  in  the  yard  of  the  Theatre  Royal.  I  had 
thought  that  that  had  drained  the  last  energy  from  me  and 
that  I  had  no  desires  left  except  of  the  peace  of  the  cloister 
and  death  itself.  Yet  after  my  words  with  the  King  and  his 
to  me,  there  awakened  that  in  me  which  I  had  thought  already 
dead — a  fierce  overmastering  ambition  to  accomplish  one  more 
task  that  was  the  greatest  of  them  all  and  to  get  salvation 
to  the  man  who  had  again  and  again  flouted  and  neglected  me, 
whom  yet  I  loved  as  I  had  never  yet  loved  any  man.  As  I 
went  to  and  fro,  as  I  shall  now  relate,  until  I  saw  him  again, 
there  went  with  me  the  vision  of  him  and  of  his  fallen  death- 
stricken  face  there  in  the  shadow  of  the  great  bed;  and  there 
went  with  me  too,  I  think,  the  eager  presence  of  my  own  love, 
near  as  warm  as  in  life. 

"  What  shall  we  do  next?  What  shall  we  do  next,  Dolly?  " 
I  caught  myself  murmuring  more  than  once  as  I  ran  here  and 
there;  and  I  had  almost  sworn  that  she  whispered  back  to  me, 
and  that  her  breath  was  in  my  hair. 

Within  five  minutes  of  my  having  left  the  King's  bedcham- 
ber, I  was  running  up  the  stairs  to  Her  Grace  of  Portsmouth's 
lodgings.  I  had  said  scarce  a  word  to  Mr.  Chiffinch  when  I 
came  out  into  the  little  anteroom,  except  that  I  was  sent  on  a 
message  by  His  Majesty;  and  he  stared  on  me  as  if  I  were 
mad.  Then  I  was  out  again  by  the  private  way,  through  the 
closet  and  the  rooms  beyond,  and  down  the  staircase. 

At  the  door  of  Her  Grace's  lodgings  there  stood  a  sentry 
who  lowered  his  pike  as  I  came  up,  to  bar  my  way. 

"  Out  of  the  way,  man !  "  I  cried  at  him.  "  I  am  on  His 
Majesty's  business." 

442 


ODDSFISH!  443 

He  too  stared  on  me,  and  faltered,  lifting  his  pike  a  little. 
All  were  distraught  by  the  news  that  was  run  like  fire  about 
the  place  that  the  King  was  dying,  or  he  would  never  have 
let  me  through.  But  I  was  past  him  before  he  could  change 
his  mind  again,  and  through  a  couple  of  antechambers  in  one 
of  which  a  page  started  up  to  know  my  business,  but  I  was 
past  him  as  if  he  were  no  more  than  a  shadow. 

Then  I  was  in  the  great  gallery,  where  I  had  sat  with  the 
King  and  his  company  but  four  days  ago. 

It  presented  a  very  different  appearance  now.  Then  it  had 
been  all  ablaze  with  lights  and  merry  with  laughter  and  music. 
Now  it  was  lit  by  but  a  pair  of  candles  over  the  hearth  and( 
the  glow  of  a  dying  fire.  Overhead  the  high  roof  glimmered1 
into  darkness,  and  the  gorgeous  furniture  was  no  more  than 
dimness.  I  stopped  short  on  the  threshold,  bewildered  at  the 
gloom,  thinking  that  the  chamber  was  empty;  then  I  saw  that 
a  woman  had  raised  herself  from  the  great  couch  on  which 
the  King  had  lolled  with  his  little  dogs  last  Sunday  night,  and 
was  staring  at  me  like  a  ghost. 

At  that  sight  I  ran  forward  and  kneeled  down  on  one 
knee. 

"  Madame,"  I  said  in  French,  "  His  Majesty  hath  sent 
me " 

At  that  she  was  up,  and  had  me  by  the  shoulders.  Her 
face  was  ghastly,  all  slobbered  over  with  crying,  and  her  eyes 
sunken  and  her  lips  pale  as  wax.  God  knows  what  she  was 
dressed  in;  for  I  do  not. 

"  His  Majesty,'*  she  cried,  "  His  Majesty!  He  is  not  dead ! 
For  the  love  of  God " 

I  stood  up ;  she  still  gripped  me  like  a  fury. 

"  No,  Madame,"  said  I,  "  His  Majesty  is  not  dead.  He 
hath  sent  me.  I  spoke  with  him  not  five  minutes  ago.  But 
he  is  very  near  death." 

"  He  hath  sent  for  me !  He  hath  sent  for  me ! "  she 
screamed,  as  if  in  mingled  joy  and  terror. 

"  No,  Madame;  but  he  hath  sent  to  you.  His  Majesty  de- 
sires you  to  get  him  a  priest." 


444  ODDSFISH! 

Her  hands  relaxed  and  fell  to  her  side.  I  do  not  know 
what  she  thought.  I  do  not  judge  her.  But  I  thought  that 
she  hesitated.  I  fell  on  my  knees  again ;  and  seized  her  hand. 
I  would  have  kneeled  to  the  Devil,  if  he  could  have  helped  me 
then. 

"  Madame — for  the  love  of  Christ  do  as  the  King  asks ! 
He  desires  a  priest.  For  the  love  of  Christ,  Madame !  " 

She  was  still  silent  for  an  instant,  staring  down  on  me. 
Then  she  tore  her  hand  free,  and  I  thought  she  would  refuse 
me.  But  she  caught  me  again  by  the  shoulders. 

"  Stand  up,  sir ;  stand  up.  I — I  will  do  whatever  the  King 
desires.  But  what  can  I  do?  God!  there  is  someone  com- 
ing!" 

There  came  very  plainly,  through  the  antechambers  I  had 
just  run  through,  the  tramp  of  feet.  I  stood,  as  in  a  paralysis, 
not  knowing  what  to  do  next.  Then  she  seized  on  me  again  as 
the  steps  came  near. 

"  Stand  back,"  she  said,  "  stand  back,  sir.     I  must  see — 

There  came  a  knocking  on  the  door  as  I  sprang  back  away 
from  the  hearth,  and  stood  out  of  the  firelight.  Then  the  door 
opened,  as  Her  Grace  made  no  answer,  and  the  page  whom  I 
had  seen  just  now  stood  bowing  upon  the  threshold. 

"  Madame,"  said  he.  "  M.  Barillon,  the  French  ambas- 
sador  " 

She  made  a  swift  gesture,  and  he  fell  back.  There  was  a 
pause;  and  then,  through  the  door  came  M.  Barillon,  very 
upright  and  lean,  walking  quickly,  all  alone.  He  stopped 
short  when  he  saw  Her  Grace,  put  his  heels  together  and 
bowed  very  low. 

She  was  at  him  in  an  instant. 

"  Monsieur !  "  she  cried.  "  You  are  come  in  the  very  nick 
of  time.  How  is  His  Majesty?" 

EJe  said  nothing  as  he  walked  with  her  towards  the  hearth. 
She  stood,  waiting,  with  her  hands  clasped,  and  a  face  of 
extraordinary  anguish. 

"  Madame,"  he  said,  "  there  is  very  bad  news.  I  am  come 
on  behalf  of  His  Majesty  King  Louis " 

"  Sh !  "  she  hissed  at  him,  with  a  quick  gesture  to  where  I 


ODDSFISH!  445 

stood.  He  had  not  observed  me.  He  straightened  himself, 
as  he  saw  me,  and  then  bowed  a  little. 

The  Duchess  went  on  with  extraordinary  rapidity,  still  talk- 
ing in  French. 

"  This  is  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  she,  "  Mr.  Mallock — but  just 
now  come  from  His  Majesty.  He  brings  me  very  grave  news. 
Monsieur  Barillon,  you  will  help  us,  will  you  not?  You  will 
help  us,  surely  ?  " 

All  her  anguish  had  passed  into  an  extraordinary  pleading: 
she  was  as  a  child  begging  for  life. 

"  Madame "  began  the  ambassador. 

"  Ah !  listen,  Monsieur,  the  King  desires  a  priest.  He  is  a 
Catholic  at  heart,  you  know.  He  hath  been  a  Catholic  at 

heart  a  long  time,  ever  since "  she  broke  off.  "  You  will 

help  us,  will  you  not,  Monsieur?  " 

He  threw  out  his  hands :  but  she  paid  no  attention. 

"  Monsieur,  I  swear  to  you  that  it  is  so.  Yet  what  can 
I  do  ?  I  cannot  go  to  him,  with  decency.  The  Queen  is  there 
continually,  I  hear.  The  Duke  is  taken  up  with  a  thousand 
affairs  and  does  not  think  of  it.  Go  to  the  Duke,  I  entreat 
you,  Monsieur  1'Ambassadeur ;  go  to  the  Duke  and  tell  him 
what  I  say.  Mr.  Mallock  shall  go  with  you.  He  is  a  friend 
of  the  Duke.  He  will  bear  me  out.  Monsieur,  for  the  love 
of  God  lose  no  time.  Come  and  see  me  again;  but  go  now, 
or  it  may  be  too  late.  Monsieur,  I  entreat  you." 

She  had  seized  him  by  the  arm  as  she  spoke.  Even  his 
rigid  face  twitched  a  little  at  the  violence  of  her  pleading.  I 
knew  well  what  was  in  his  mind,  and  how  he  wondered  whether 
he  dared  do  as  she  asked  him.  God  knew  what  complications 
might  follow! 

"  Monsieur " 

He  nodded  suddenly  and  sharply. 

"  Madame,"  said  he,  "  I  will  go.     Mr.  Mallock— 

He  bowed  to  me. 

"Ah!  God  bless  you,  sir " 

He  stooped  suddenly  to  her  hand,  lifted  it  and  kissed  it. 
I  think  in  that  moment  something  of  the  compassion  of  the 
Saviour  Himself  fell  on  him  for  this  poor  woman  who  yet 


446  ODDSFISH! 


''11 


might  be  forgiven  much,  for  indeed,,  under  all  her  foolishness 
and  sin,  she  loved  very  ardently.  Then  he  wheeled  and  went 
out  of  the  room  again;  and  I  followed.  No  sound  came  from 
the  Duchess  as  we  left  her  there  in  the  half  lit  twilight.  She 
was  standing  with  her  hands  clasped,  staring  after  us  as  we 
went  out. 

He  said  nothing  as  we  passed  again  through  the  anterooms 
and  down  the  stairs.  Then,  as  we  went  on  through  the  next 
gallery  he  spoke  to  me.  His  men  were  a  good  way  behind  us, 
and  another  in  front. 

"  Mr.  Mallock,"  said  he — (for  he  had  known  me  well  enough 
in  France) — "His  Majesty  told  you  this  himself?" 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  I,  "  not  a  quarter  of  an  hour  ago." 

"  Then  the  Duke  is  our  only  chance,"  he  said. 

He  said  no  more  till  we  came  to  the  great  antechamber  by 
the  King's  bedroom.  It  was  half  full  of  people ;  but  the  Duke 
was  nowhere  to  be  seen.  I  waited  by  the  door  as  M.  Barillon 
went  forward  and  spoke  to  someone.  Then  he  came  back  to 
me. 

"  The  Duke  is  with  the  Queen,"  he  said.  "  We  must  go  to 
him  there." 

It  was  enough  to  send  a  man  mad  so  to  seek  person  after 
person  in  such  a  simple  matter  as  this.  Why  in  God's  name, 
I  wondered,  might  not  even  a  King  die  in  what  religion  he 
liked,  without  all  this  plotting  and  conspiring?  Was  I  never 
to  be  free  from  these  things  ? 

At  the  door  to  the  Queen's  apartments  M.  Barillon  turned 
tc  me. 

"  You  had  best  wait  here,  sir,"  he  said.  "  I  will  speak  with 
the  Duke  privately  first." 

He  was  admitted  instantly  so  soon  as  he  knocked;  and  went 
through  leaving  me  in  a  little  gallery. 

Of  all  that  went  through  my  mind  as  I  walked  up  and  down, 
with  a  page  watching  me  from  the  door,  I  can  give  no  account 
at  all.  Again  one  half  of  my  attention  was  fixed,  though  with- 
out any  coherency,  on  the  business  I  was  at;  the  other  half 


ODDSFISH!  447 

observed  the  carpet  under  my  feet,  the  cabinets  along  the  wall, 
and  the  pictures.  It  was  not  near  as  splendid  as  were  the 
rooms  I  had  left  so  short  a  while  ago. 

I  had  not  to  wait  long.  There  was  a  sudden  talking  of 
voices  beyond  the  door  that  the  Ambassador  had  just  passed 
through;  and  I  heard  the  Duke's  tones  very  plain.  Then  the 
page  stiffened  to  attention,  the  door  was  flung  open  suddenly, 
and  the  Duke  came  out  alone  at  a  great  pace,  leaving  the  door 
open  behind  him.  He  never  saw  me  at  all.  The  page 
darted  after  him,  and  the  two  disappeared  together  round  the 
corner  in  the  direction  of  the  King's  rooms.  As  soon  as  they 
were  gone,  M.  Barillon  came  out  and  beckoned  to  me;  and  to- 
gether we  went  up  and  down  the  gallery. 

"  You  are  perfectly  right,  sir,"  he  said.  "  His  Royal  High- 
ness shewed  great  sorrow  for  not  having  thought  of  it.  He  is 
gone  instantly  to  His  Majesty." 

"He  will  fetch  a  priest?" 

"  He  will  speak  to  His  Majesty  first.  He  will  find  out,  at 
least,  what  he  thinks." 

"But,  good  God!"  said  I.  "His  Majesty  hath  told  me 
himself  what  he  wishes." 

"  You  must  let  His  Royal  Highness  do  it  in  his  own  way," 
he  said.  "  He  must  not  be  pushed.  But  I  think  you  have 
done  the  trick,  Mr.  Mallock." 

"  How  is  Her  Majesty?  "  I  asked  abruptly. 

"  The  physicians  have  been  at  her  too,"  he  said  dryly. 
"  She  had  a  fainting-fit  just  now  in  His  Majesty's  presence; 
and  they  have  been  blooding  her." 

"  What  priest  can  be  got  ?  "  I  asked  next. 

He  made  a  gesture  towards  the  chamber  he  had  just  come 
out  of. 

"  There  is  a  pack  of  them  in  there,"  he  said,  "  next  to  Her 
Majesty's  private  closet.  They  have  been  praying  all  day  in 
the  oratory." 

It  was  fallen  dark  by  now ;  for  it  was  long  after  five  o'clock ; 
and  there  were  no  candles  lighted  here.  We  went  up  and 
down  a  good  while  longer,  for  the  most  part  in  silence,  speaking 


448  ODDSFISH! 

of  this  and  that;  and  I  will  not  deny  that  we  talked  a  little  of 
French  affairs,  though  God  knows  I  was  in  no  heart  for  that, 
and  answered  very  indifferently.  It  appeared  to  me  extraor- 
dinary that  a  man  could  think  of  such  little  things  as  the  af- 
fairs of  kingdoms  when  an  immortal  soul  was  at  stake. 

A  little  before  six  o'clock,  when  at  last  the  servants  brought 
lights,  the  Ambassador  left  me  again  to  go  in  to  see  the  Queen, 
leaving  me  to  watch  for  the  Duke;  and  I  had  not  very  long 
to  wait,  for  soon  after  I  had  heard  a  clock  chime  the  hour, 
His  Royal  Highness  came  again,  walking  very  quickly  as  be- 
fore; and,  when  he  saw  me  waiting  there,  beckoned  me  to 
follow  him.  We  went  through  two  or  three  rooms,  all  lighted 
up  and  empty — the  Duke  sending  a  page  to  fetch  M.  Barillon 
out  of  the  Queen's  private  closet  where  he  was  talking  with  her 
• — into  a  little  chamber  that  looked  out  upon  the  court,  where 
there  was  a  fire  lighted.  We  had  hardly  got  there  before  the 
Ambassador  came,  all  in  haste,  to  hear  what  had  been  done. 

"  I  have  spoken  with  His  Majesty,"  said  the  Duke,  looking 
very  white  and  drawn  in  the  face.  "  He  is  in  most  excellent 
dispositions.  He  tells  me  that  he  hath  put  off  the  Bishops 
and  has  not  received  the  sacrament  from  them  and  will  not." 

"And  what  of  a  priest,  Sir?"  asked  the  Ambassador 
sharply. 

"  I  did  not  speak  to  him  of  that,"  answered  the  Duke  so 
pompously  that  I  raged  to  hear  him.  "  He  said  that  Dr.  Ken 
hath  read  prayers  over  him,  and  told  him  that  he  need  make 
no  confession  unless  he  willed;  and  that  he  willed  not,  and 
did  not;  but  that  Dr.  Ken  read  an  absolution  over  him  which 
he  values  not  at  a  straw." 

"  Sir,"  said  I,  very  boldly,  "  this  is  very  pretty  talk ;  but  it 
is  not  a  priest.  His  Majesty  wishes  for  a  priest;  he  told  me 
so  himself." 

The  Duke  turned  on  me  very  hotly. 

"Eh,  sir?" 

I  made  haste  to  swallow  down  my  wrath. 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  I  did  not  mean  to  be  discourteous.  But  I 
assure  Your  Royal  Highness  that  the  King  said  so  to  me  ex- 
pressly. It  is  his  immortal  soul  that  is  at  stake." 


ODDSFISH!  449 

Then  I  understood  what  was  the  matter.  The  Duke  flung 
out  his  hands  as  if  in  despair. 

"  But  what  can  I  do  ?  "  he  cried.  "  I  am  watched  every 
instant.  They  will  not  leave  me  alone  with  him.  Dr.  Ken 
eyed  me  very  sharply.  They  suspect  something — I  know  they 
do — from  my  brother's  having  refused  their  ministrations. 
How  can  I  get  a  priest  to  him  ?  " 

Then  again,  by  God's  inspiration  as  I  truly  believe,  a 
thought  came  to  me. 

"  Sir/'  I  said,  "  I  myself  spoke  with  the  King  a  while  ago : 
and  I  do  not  think  that  a  soul  saw  who  I  was.  I  came  through 
the  little  door  at  the  back  of  the  bed.  Why  should  not— 

The  Ambassador  struck  his  hands  together. 

"  Bon  Dieu!  "  he  said.  "  I  believe  Mr.  Mallock  hath  hit  it 
again." 

The  Duke  turned  and  eyed  me  very  sternly. 

"  Well,  sir,  what  is  your  plan  ?  " 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  let  the  chamber  be  cleared,  or  almost.  Then 
let  M.  Barillon  here  go  in  as  if  he  had  a  message  from  the 
French  King.  While  he  is  there  let  a  priest  be  brought  by  the 
back  way,  not  through  the  antechamber  at  all " 

M.  Barillon  held  up  his  hand. 

"  There  would  not  be  time,"  he  said.  "  It  does  not  take 
half  an  hour  to  deliver  a  message;  and  the  priest's  business 
would  take  full  half  an  hour?  " 

"  No !  no !  "  cried  James.  "  They  would  suspect  something. 
Let  Her  Majesty  come  again  to  take  her  leave  of  the  King; 
and  then  I  will  go  in  after  for  the  same  thing.  While  we  are 
there,  let  the  priest  come,  as  Mr.  Mallock  has  said — 

"  Sir,"  said  the  Ambassador,  "  we  must  not  have  too  many 
folks  in  this  business " 

All  this  bargaining  drove  me  near  mad.    Once  more  I  bro^ 
in;  and  this  time  with  more  effect. 

"Sir,"  I  said  to  the  Duke,  "I  entreat  you  to  hear  me. 
There  is  the  little  room  at  the  back  of  His  Majesty's  bed,  all 
ready,  and  empty  too.  We  do  not  need  all  these  devices.  If 
you,  Sir,  will  go  to  the  King  and  prepare  him  for  it,  I  will 
find  a  priest  and  bring  him  up  the  other  way.  I  do  not  believe 


450  ODDSFISH! 

that  even  if  there  were  folks  in  the  bedchamber  they  would 
hear  what  passed." 

"  Which  way  would  the  priest  come  ?  "  asked  the  Duke. 

"  There  is  a  little  stair  in  the  corner  of  the  room — 

"  God!     There  is,"  cried  the  Duke.     "  I  had  forgotten  it." 

We  stared  on  one  another  in  silence.  My  mind  raced  like 
a  mill.  Then  once  more  the  Duke  near  ruined  the  whole  de- 
sign by  his  diplomacy. 

"  Gentlemen,"  he  said,  "  we  are  too  precipitate.  His 
Majesty  hath  not  yet  told  me  that  he  wishes  for  a  priest — 

"  Sir "  I  began  in  desperation. 

He  looked  at  me  so  fiercely  that  I  stopped. 

"  Listen  to  me,"  said  he  very  imperiously.  "  I  will  have  it 
my  own  way.  M.  Barillon,  do  you  come  with  me  now  to  His 
Majesty.  I  will  bid  the  company  withdraw  into  the  ante- 
chamber— Bishops  and  all — on  the  pretext  that  I  wish  to  con- 
sult with  my  brother  privately.  M.  Barillon  shall  be  in  the 
doorway  that  none  may  come  through.  Mr.  Mallock  shall  be 
with  the  company  and  hear  what  they  say.  Then,  if  the  King 
wishes  for  a  priest,  we  will  consult  again  here,  and  see  if  Mr. 
Mallock's  plan  is  a  possible  one." 

He  strode  towards  the  door.  There  was  no  more  to  be  said. 
It  was  a  dreadful  risk  that  we  ran  in  so  long  delaying;  but 
there  was  no  gainsaying  James  when  he  had  made  up  his  mind. 

The  great  antechamber  was  near  full  of  folks  of  all  kinds 
when  we  three  came  to  it  again.  They  fell  back  as  they  saw 
the  Duke;  and  he  passed  straight  through,  as  was  arranged, 
with  M.  Barillon,  leaving  me  behind,  near  the  door.  The 
King's  bedchamber  was  pretty  dark,  and  I  could  see  no  more 
of  the  bed  at  the  far  distant  end  than  its  curtains. 

Presently  I  heard  the  Duke  in  a  low  voice  saying  something 
to  the  company  that  was  within:  and  immediately  they  began 
to  come  out,  three  or  four  Bishops,  among  them,  my  Lord  Hali- 
fax, Lord  Keeper  North,  and  my  Lord  Craven;  I  noticed  that 
M.  Barillon  was  very  careful  to  let  all  in  the  antechamber 
have  a  clear  view  of  the  bed,  at  which,  by  now  the  Duke  was 


ODDSFISH!  451 

kneeling  down,  having  drawn  back  the  curtains  a  little,  yet 
not  so  much  as  to  shew  us  the  King  lying  there. 

Round  about  me  they  talked  very  little,  though  I  saw  the 
Bishops  whispering  together.  The  two  brothers  spoke  to- 
gether, very  low,  for  ten  minutes  or  a  quarter  of  an  hour;  and 
I  could  hear  the  murmur  of  the  Duke's  voice.  Of  His 
Majesty's  I  heard  nothing  except  that  twice  he  said,  very 
clear : 

"Yes.  .  .  .  Yes,  with  all  my  heart." 

And  I  thanked  God  when  I  heard  that. 

Yet,  even  so,  all  was  not  yet  done. 

So  soon  as  I  saw  the  Duke  stand  up  again  from  his  kneel- 
ing, and  coming  down  the  chamber,  I  slipped  away  to  the 
door  that  leads  out  towards  Her  Majesty's  apartments,  that 
I  might  be  ready  for  him.  I  saw  him  come  through,  all  the 
people  standing  and  bowing  to  him,  and  M.  Barillon  follow- 
ing him;  and  I  noticed  in  particular  a  young  gentleman  whose 
name  I  did  not  know  at  that  time — (it  was  the  Comte  de 
Castelmelhor,  a  very  good  Catholic) — standing  out,  a  little  by 
himself.  I  noticed  this  man  because  I  saw  that  the  Duke 
looked  at  him  as  he  came  and  presently  signed  to  him  very 
slightly,  with  his  head,  to  follow.  So  all  four  of  us  passed 
through  the  door  into  the  long  gallery  that  unites  their 
Majesties'  apartments  and  found  ourselves  alone  in  it.  The 
Count  was  a  little  behind. 

"  He  has  consented,"  said  the  Duke  in  a  low  voice,  "  to  my 
bringing  him  a  priest.  We  must  send  for  one.  But  I  dare 
not  bring  one  of  the  Duchess':  they  are  too  well-known." 

"  Sir,"  said  Monsieur  Barillon,  "  I  will  do  so  with  pleasure. 
Why  not  one  of  Her  Majesty's  priests?" 

The  Duke  nodded.  We  three  were  all  standing  together 
about  the  middle  of  the  gallery.  The  Comte  de  Castelmelhor 
was  halted,  uncovered,  a  little  behind  us.  The  Duke  turned 
to  him. 

"  Count,"  said  he,  speaking  in  French,  "  we  are  on  a  very 
urgent  business.  His  Majesty  hath  consented  that  a  priest 


ODDSFISH! 

should  come  to  him.     Will  you  go  for  us  to  the  Queen  and  ask 
for  one  of  her  chaplains  ?  " 

The  young  man  flushed  up  with  pleasure. 

"  With  all  my  heart,  Sir/'  he  said.  "  Which  priest  shall 
I  ask  for?  Is  there  one  that  can  speak  English?  " 

The  Duke  struck  his  forehead  with  his  open  hand. 

"  Lord !  "  he  said.  "  I  never  thought  of  that.  We  must 
have  an  Englishman.  Where  shall  we  send  ?  " 

"Sir/*  said  the  Ambassador;  "there  is  one  at  least  at  the 
Venetian  Resident's." 

Again  I  broke  in.  (My  impatience  drove  me  near  mad 
Time  was  passing  quickly.  I  could  have  fetched  a  priest  my- 
self ten  times  over  if  the  Duke  had  but  allowed  me  to  go  in  the 
beginning.) 

"  Sir/'  said  I,  "  for  God's  sake  let  me  go  first  to  Her 
Majesty's  apartments.  I'll  be  bound  there's  one  at  least  there 
that  knows  English.  Let  this  gentleman  come  with  me." 

The  Duke  stared  at  me  as  if  bewildered.  I  think  he  saw 
that  he  had  done  little  but  hinder  the  business,  so  far. 

"  Go,"  he  said  suddenly.     "  Go  both  of  you  together- 
Stay.     Bring  a  priest  with  you,  if  you  can  find  one,  to  the 
little  room  behind  the  King's  bed;  but  bring  him  up  the  stairs 
the  other  way.     Bid  him  stay  till  I  send  Chiffinch  to  him." 

Then  we  were  gone  at  full  speed. 


CHAPTER     XI 

IT  was  eight  o'clock  at  night;  and  the  priest  and  I  were  still 
waiting  in  the  little  room ;  and  no  word  was  come  through  from 
the  Bedchamber,,  beyond  that  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  come  through 
once  to  bid  us  be  ready. 

Once  again  God  had  favoured  us  in  spite  of  all  our  blun- 
ders. The  Count  and  I  had  run  together  through  to  Her 
Majesty's  lodging  and  there  we  had  found,  as  I  knew  we 
should,  a  priest  that  knew  English.  But  I  had  not  thought 
that  God's  Hand  should  be  so  visible  in  the  matter  as  that  we 
should  find  none  other  but  Mr.  Huddleston  himself,  the  Scots- 
man, that  had  saved  the  King's  life  after  the  battle  of  Wor- 
cester. There  was  a  very  particular  seemliness  in  this — 
though  I  had  not  much  time  to  think  of  it  then.  But  our  dif- 
ficulties were  not  all  over. 

First,  Mr.  Huddleston  declared  that  he  had  never  recon- 
ciled a  convert  in  his  life;  and  did  not  know  how  to  set  about 
it.  Next  he  said  that  he  was  the  worst  man  in  the  world  to 
do  it,  as  his  face  was  very  well  known,  and  that  he  would 
surely  be  suspected  if  he  were  seen:  and  third  that  the  Most 
Holy  Sacrament  was  not  in  Whitehall  at  all,  and  that  there- 
fore he  could  not  give  Viaticum.  He  looked  very  agitated,  in 
spite  of  his  ruddy  face. 

I  was  amazed  at  the  man;  but  I  forced  myself  to  treat  him 
with  patience,  for  he  was  the  only  priest  we  could  get. 

First  I  told  him  that  nothing  was  needed  but  to  hear  the 
King's  confession,  give  him  absolution  and  anoint  him:  next, 
that  we  would  disguise  him  in  a  great  periwig  and  a  gown, 
such  as  the  Protestant  Divines  wore — (for,  as  I  spoke,  I  actu- 
ally spied  such  a  gown  hanging  on  the  wall  of  the  chamber  in 
which  I  was  speaking  with  him).  Third,  that  another  priest 
could  go  to  St.  James'  and  bring  the  Most  Holy  Sacrament  to 
him  from  there. 

453 


454  ODDSFISH! 

At  that  point  Father  Bento  de  Lemoz,  who  was  listening  to 
our  talk,  came  forward  and  interposed.  He  would  get  a  little 
Ritual  directly,  he  said  (in  very  poor  English) — that  had  in 
it  all  that  was  necessary :  and  he  would  go  himself,,  not  to  St. 
James',  for  that  was  too  far  off,  but  to  Somerset  House,  and 
get  the  Holy  Sacrament  from  the  royal  chapel  there.  Mr. 
Huddleston  had  nothing  to  say  to  that;  and  in  five  minutes 
we  had  him  in  his  periwig  and  gown,  with  the  book  in  his 
pocket,  with  the  holy  oils,  and  away  downstairs,  and  along 
the  passage  beneath,  and  up  again  by  the  little  winding  stair 
into  the  chamber  beyond  the  King's  bed.  I  gave  him  no  time 
to  think  of  any  more  objections. 

That  was  a  very  strange  vigil  that  we  held  for  very  near, 
I  should  think,  twenty  minutes  or  half  an  hour.  We  both  sat 
there  together  without  speaking.  For  the  most  of  the  time 
Mr.  Huddleston  was  reading  in  his  Ritual,  and  I  could  see  his 
brow  furrowed  and  his  lips  moving,  as  he  conned  over  all  that 
he  would  have  to  do  and  say  to  His  Majesty.  He  was  a  man, 
as  he  had  said,  completely  unaccustomed  to  such  ministrations, 
though  he  was  a  very  good  man  and  a  good  priest  too,  in  other 
matters.  After  a  while  he  laid  aside  his  book,  and  prayed,  I 
think,  for  he  covered  his  face  with  his  hands. 

A  minute  or  two  later  I  could  bear  the  delay  no  longer.  I 
rose  and  went  up  the  three  or  four  steps  that  led  to  the  King's 
Bedchamber,  and  listened.  There  was  a  low  murmur  of  voices 
within;  so  that  it  seemed  to  me  that  the  room  was  not  yet 
cleared.  I  put  my  hand  upon  the  door  and  pushed  it  a  little ; 
and  to  my  satisfaction  it  was  not  latched,  but  opened  an  inch 
or  two.  But  someone  was  standing  immediately  on  the  other 
side  of  it.  I  stepped  back,  and  the  door  opened  again  just 
enough  for  me  to  see  the  face  of  Mr.  Chiffinch.  He  looked 
past  me  quickly  to  see  that  the  priest  was  there,  I  suppose,  and 
then  nodded  at  me  two  or  three  times.  Then  he  pushed  the 
door  almost  to,  again.  A  moment  after  I  heard  the  Duke's 
voice  within,  a  little  unsteady,  but  very  clear  and  distinct. 
He  was  standing  up,  I  think,  on  the  far  side  of  the  bed. 


ODDSFISH!  455 

"  Gentlemen/'  he  said,  "  the  King  wishes  all  to  retire  ex- 
cepting the  Earls  of  Bath  and  Feversham." 

(Bath  and  Feversham!  thought  I.  Why  those  two,  in  God's 
name,  that  were  such  a  pair  of  Protestants?  But,  indeed,  it 
was  the  one  good  stroke  that  the  Duke  made,  for  the  names 
reassured,  as  I  heard  afterwards,  all  that  had  any  suspicions, 
and  even  the  Bishops  themselves.) 

There  was  a  rustle  of  footsteps,  very  plain,  that  followed 
the  Duke's  words.  I  turned  to  the  room  behind  me,  again, 
and  saw  that  Mr.  Huddleston  too  had  heard  what  had  passed. 
He  was  standing  up,  very  pale  and  agitated,  with  the  book 
clasped  in  his  hands.  I  moved  down  the  steps  again  so  as 
not  to  block  the  way;  and  again  there  followed  a  silence,  in 
the  midst  of  which  I  heard  a  door  latched  somewhere  in  the 
Bedchamber. 

Then,  suddenly,  the  door  opened  at  the  head  of  the  stairs; 
and  the  Duke  stood  there,  he  too  as  pale  as  death.  He  nodded 
once,  very  emphatically,  and  disappeared  again.  Then  the 
priest  went  by  me  without  a  word,  up  the  steps  and  so  through. 
The  door,  as  before,  remained  a  crack  open.  I  went  up  to  it, 
and  put  my  eye  to  the  crack. 

On  the  left  was  the  end  of  the  bed,  with  the  curtains  drawn 
across  it;  and  beyond  the  bed  I  could  see  the  whole  room  down, 
to  the  end,  for  the  candles  were  burning  everywhere,  as  well 
as  the  fire.  I  could  see  the  great  table  before  the  hearth,  the 
physician's  instruments  and  bottles  and  cupping-glasses  upon 
it,  the  chairs  about  it;  the  tall  furniture  against  the  walls,  and 
at  least  half  a  dozen  clocks,  whose  ticking  was  very  plain  in 
the  silence.  Three  figures  only  were  visible  there.  That 
nearest,  standing  very  rigid  by  the  table,  was  Mr.  Chiffinch: 
of  the  two  beyond  I  could  recognize  only  my  Lord  Bath  whose 
face  looked  this  way:  the  other  I  supposed  to  be  my  Lord 
Feversham.  The  Duke  was  not  within  sight.  He  was  kneel- 
ing, I  suppose,  out  of  my  sight,  beyond  the  bed. 

Then  I  heard  His  Majesty's  voice  very  plain,  though  very 
weak  and  slow. 

"  Ah !  "  said  he,  "  you  that  saved  my  body  is  now  come  to 
save  my  soul." 


456  ODDSFISH! 

There  was  the  murmur  of  the  priest's  voice  in  answer.  (The 
two  of  them  were  not  more  than  three  or  four  yards  away  from 
me,  at  the  most.)  Then  again  I  heard  the  King,  very  clear 
and  continuous,  though  still  weak,  and  not  so  loud  as  he  had 
first  spoken. 

"  Yes,"  said  he,  "  I  desire  to  die  in  the  Faith  and  Com- 
munion of  the  Holy  Roman  Catholic  Church.  I  am  sorry  with 
all  my  heart  that  I  have  deferred  it  for  so  long;  and  for  all 
my  sins." 

(He  said  it  quite  distinctly,  as  if  he  had  rehearsed  it  before- 
hand.) 

Then  the  priest  and  he  spoke  together — the  King  repeating 
the  priest's  words  sometimes,  and  sometimes  volunteering  a 
word  or  two  of  his  own. 

He  said  that  through  Christ's  Passion  he  hoped  to  be  saved; 
that  he  was  in  charity  with  all  the  world;  that  he  pardoned 
his  enemies  most  heartily,  and  desired  pardon  of  all  whom  he 
had  offended;  that  if  God  would  yet  spare  him,  he  would 
amend  his  life  in  every  particular. 

All  that  I  heard  with  my  own  ears,  and  with  inexpressible 
comfort.  His  Majesty's  voice  was  low,  but  very  distinct, 
though  sometimes  he  spoke  scarce  above  a  whisper;  and  I  do 
not  think  that  any  man  who  heard  him  could  doubt  his  sin- 
cerity— however  late  it  was  to  shew  it.  But  he  was  not  alto- 
gether too  late,  thank  God ! 

So  soon  as  His  Majesty  began  his  confession,  after  Mr. 
Huddleston's  moving  him  to  it,  I  slipped  away  from  the  door 
and  began,  as  softly  as  I  could  to  walk  up  and  down  the  little 
chamber  again.  I  was  satisfied  beyond  measure:  yet  it  seemed 
to  me  sometimes  near  incredible  that  I  should  in  very  truth,  be 
here  at  such  a  time,  and  that  I  should  have  been,  under  God's 
merciful  Providence,  the  instrument  in  such  an  affair.  My 
life  was  ended,  I  knew  well  enough  now,  in  all  matters  that  the 
world  counts  life  to  consist  of;  yet  was  there  ever  such  an 
ending?  I  had  seen  all  else  go  from  me — my  natural  activi- 
ties of  every  kind,  my  ambitions,  even  the  most  sacred  thing 


ODDSFISH!  457 

that  the  world  can  give,  after  the  Love  of  God,  and  that  is  the 
love  of  a  woman!  Yet  the  one  purely  supernatural  end  that 
I  had  set  before  me — that  end  to  which,  four  days  ago,  I  had 
said,  as  I  thought,  good-bye  for  ever  in  the  Duchess  of  Ports- 
mouth's gallery — this  was  the  one  single  thing  that  was  mine 
after  all.  I  could  take  that  at  least  with  me  into  the  cloister, 
and  could  praise  God  for  it  all  my  life  long — I  mean  the  con- 
version of  the  man  that  was  called  King  of  England,  the  man 
who,  for  all  his  sins  and  his  treatment  of  me,  I  yet  loved  as  I 
have  never  loved  any  other  man  on  earth.  I  think  that  in 
those  minutes  of  sorrow  and  joy  as  I  paced  up  and  down  the 
little  room,  my  dearest  Dolly  was  not  very  far  away  from  me 
and  that  she  knew  all  that  I  felt. 

Once — in  a  loud  broken  voice  through  the  door — I  heard 
these  words: 

— "  Sweet  Jesus.  Amen.  .  .  .  Mercy,  Sweet  Jesus, 
Mercy!" 

That  was  the  King's  voice  that  I  heard :  and  I  kneeled  down 
when  I  heard  them. 

It  would  be  about  ten  minutes  later,  as  I  still  kneeled,  that 
I  heard,  upon  the  outside  of  the  door  that  led  down  the  wind- 
ing stairs,  a  very  small  tapping. 

I  ran  to  the  door  to  open  it,  wondering  who  it  could  be ;  for 
I  had  forgotten  all  about  the  Portuguese  priest,  though  I  had 
set  the  candles  ready  burning,  with  a  napkin  on  the  table  be- 
tween them,  in  readiness  for  his  coming.  And  there  he  stood, 
with  his  eyes  cast  down,  and  his  hands  clasped  upon  his  breast. 

I  beckoned  him  forward,  pointing  to  the  table,  and  kneeled 
down  again. 

He  went  past  me  without  a  word,  kneeled  himself  before 
the  table  and  then,  unbuttoning  his  cloak  he  drew  from  round 
his  neck  the  chain  and  the  Pyx  from  his  breast,  and  laid  it  all 
upon  the  table,  continuing  himself  to  kneel. 

Presently  he  turned  and  looked  at  me,  lifting  his  brows. 

I  knew  what  he  wished ;  rose  from  my  knees  and  went  up  the 
stairs,  but  very  cautiously,  lest  I  should  hear  anything  that  I 


458  ODDSFISH! 

should  not.  There  was  but  a  very  faint  murmur  of  the  priest's 
voice,  so  I  took  courage  and  pushed  the  door  a  little  open  so 
that  I  could  see  the  King. 

It  was  very  dark  within  the  curtains,  for  they  were  drawn 
against  the  candlelight;  but  I  could  see  what  was  passing. 
His  Majesty  was  lying  flat  upon  his  back,  with  his  hands 
clasped  beneath  his  chin,  and  Mr.  Huddleston  was  in  the  very 
act  of  arranging  the  coverlet  over  him  again,  after  the  last 
Anointing.  As  I  looked  the  priest  turned  and  caught  my  eyes, 
as  he  put  the  oil-stock  and  the  wool  away  again  in  his  cassock- 
breast.  I  nodded  three  times  very  emphatically — (His  Maj- 
esty did  not  see  me  at  all,  for  his  eyes  were  closed) — and 
went  back  again  down  the  stairs  and  kneeled  once  more.  A 
few  moments  later  Mr.  Huddleston  came  through. 

I  have  never  seen  so  swift  a  change  in  any  man's  face.  He 
had  been  terrified  as  he  had  gone  in — all  pale  and  shaking. 
Now  he  was  still  pale,  but  his  eyes  shone,  and  there  was  a  look 
of  great  assurance  in  his  face.  He  came  straight  down  the 
steps  without  speaking,  kneeled,  rose  again,  took  up  the  Pyx 
and  the  corporal  which  Father  de  Lemoz  had  spread  beneath 
it,  and  passed  up  and  out  again.  His  priesthood,  I  suppose, 
had  risen  in  him  like  a  great  tide,  and  driven  out  all  other 
emotions. 

Again  I  followed  him  to  the  door,  and  kneeled  there  where 
I  could  see;  and  then  there  followed  such  a  scene  as  I  had 
never  dreamed  of. 

The  curtains  on  the  other  side  of  the  bed  had  been  drawn 
back  just  enough  to  admit  the  face  of  the  Duke  who  now 
kneeled  there,  yet  not  so  much  that  any  of  the  three  others  at 
the  further  end  of  the  chamber  could  see  into  the  bed.  The 
candlelight  streamed  in  through  the  opening  above  the  Duke's 
head;  and  in  it,  I  saw  His  Majesty,  all  weak  as  he  was,  striv- 
ing to  rise,  with  his  eyes  fixed  on  That  which  the  priest  was 
holding  in  his  right  hand.  I  saw  the  priest's  left  hand  go  out 
to  restrain  him;  but  I  heard  the  King's  voice  distinctly. 

"  Father/*  he  said  very  brokenly,  "  let  me  receive  my 
Heavenly  Saviour  in  a  better  posture  than  lying  on  my  bed." 


ODDSFISH!  459 

"  Sir,"  said  Mr.  Huddleston  with  great  firmness,  "  lie  down 
again,  if  you  please.  God  Almighty  who  sees  your  heart  will 
accept  your  good  intention." 

(But  neither  of  them  spoke  loud  enough  to  be  heard  at  the 
further  end  of  the  great  chamber.) 

And  so  he  was  persuaded  to  lie  down  again. 

Then  the  priest  repeated  again,  still  holding  the  Blessed 
Sacrament  before  the  King's  eyes,  the  Act  of  Contrition  of 
which  I  had  heard  a  word  or  two  a  while  ago;  and  His  Majesty 
repeated  it  after  him,  word  for  word,  very  devoutly. 

Then,  as  the  time  was  short  Mr.  Huddleston  omitted  several 
of  the  proper  prayers,  and  proceeded  at  once  to  the  Com- 
munion, saying  but  the  Agnus  Dei  three  times,  and  then  com- 
municating him  immediately.  With  my  own  eyes  I  saw  that 
holy  act  which  sealed  all  and  admitted  the  dying  man  to  sacra- 
mental union  with  his  God.  His  eyes  were  closed  throughout; 
and  when  it  was  done  he  lay  as  still  as  a  stone,  his  poor  wasted 
face  all  dark  against  the  white  pillows.  I  caught  a  glimpse 
too  of  the  Duke:  his  face  was  bowed  in  his  hands,  and  he  was 
weeping  so  that  his  shoulders  shook  with  it. 

Presently  the  priest  was  reading  again  as  well  as  he  could 
in  a  very  low  whisper  the  prayers  for  the  Recommendation  of 
a  Departing  Soul,  down  to  the  very  end.  His  Majesty  lay 
motionless  throughout.  At  the  end  he  opened  his  eyes. 

"  Father,"  he  whispered,  "  the  Act  of  Contrition  once  more, 

if  you  please.     I  have  sinned,  I  have  sinned  very "     He 

could  speak  no  more  for  weeping. 

Then,  once  more,  very  slowly  and  tenderly,  the  priest  re- 
peated it;  down  to  Mercy,  Sweet  Jesus,  Mercy!  My  own 
eyes  were  all  dim  with  tears,  and  as  fast  as  I  brushed  them 
away,  they  came  again.  When  at  last  I  could  see  plainly 
once  more,  the  priest  was  holding  up  a  little  crucifix  before 
the  King's  eyes ;  and  he  made  him  a  short  address,  very  Chris- 
tian and  forcible.  I  remember  near  every  word  of  it,  as  he 
said  it. 

"  Lift  up  the  eyes  of  your  soul,  Sir,"  he  said,  "  and  repre- 
sent to  yourself  your  sweet  Saviour  here  crucified,  bowing 
down  His  Head  to  kiss  you;  His  Arms  stretched  out  to  em- 


460  ODDSFISH! 

brace  you;  His  Body  and  members  all  bloody  and  pale  with 
death  to  redeem  you.  Beseech  Him,  Sir,  with  all  humility 
that  His  most  Precious  Blood  may  not  be  shed  in  vain  for  you; 
and  that  it  will  please  Him,  by  the  merits  of  His  bitter  Death 
and  Passion,  to  pardon  and  forgive  you  all  your  offences;  and, 
finally,  to  receive  your  soul  into  His  Blessed  Hands;  and, 
when  it  shall  please  Him  to  take  it  out  of  this  transitory  world, 
to  grant  you  a  joyful  resurrection,  and  an  eternal  crown  o£ 
glory  in  the  next/' 

He  bent  lower,  making  a  great  sign  of  the  cross  with  his 
right  hand — (and  the  King  too  tried  to  bless  himself  in  re- 
sponse). 

"  In  the  Name,"  said  he,  "  of  the  Father  and  of  the  Son 
and  of  the  Holy  Ghost.  Amen." 

One  more  joy  and  sorrow  all  in  one  was  yet  to  be  mine 
before  the  end.  As  I  opened  the  door  for  the  priest  to  come 
back,  His  Majesty  lifted  his  eyes  and  saw  me  there;  and  I 
perceived  that  he  recognized  me.  The  Duke  had  already  risen 
up  and  gone  down  the  room  to  bid  them,  I  suppose,  to  open 
the  door  and  let  the  folks  in  again.  Then,  as  the  King's  eyes 
met  my  own  he  made  a  sign  with  his  head  that  I  should  come 
near.  I  think  that  if  the  chamber  had  been  filled  with  but 
one  mob  of  priest-hunters  and  Protestants,  I  should  have 
obeyed  him  then,  even  though  I  should  have  been  torn  to  pieces 
the  next  instant. 

I  went  forward  without  a  word,  leaving  the  door  open  be- 
hind me,  and  flung  myself  on  my  knees  at  the  bedside. 

His  Maj  esty  was  too  weary  to  speak,  but,  as  I  kneeled 
there,  with  my  face  in  my  hands  on  the  bedclothes,  and  my 
tears  raining  down,  he  lifted  his  right  hand  and  put  it  on  my 
head,  leaving  it  there  for  an  instant.  It  was  all  he  could  do 
to  thank  me;  and  I  value  that  blessing  from  him,  a  penitent 
sinner  as  he  was,  with  the  Body  of  our  Saviour  still  in  his 
breast,  as  much  as  any  blessing  I  have  ever  had  from  any  man, 
priest  or  bishop  or  Pope. 

As  he  lifted  his  hand  off  again,  I  caught  at  it,  and  kissed  it 


ODDSFISH!  461 

three  or  four  times,  careless  whether  or  no  my  tears  poured 
down  upon  it. 

As  I  passed  back  again  through  the  door  to  where  Mr.  Hud- 
dleston  was  waiting  for  me,  I  heard  the  doors  at  the  further 
end  of  the  chamber  unlatched  and  the  footsteps  of  the  folks — 
physicians,  courtiers,  Bishops  and  the  rest — that  poured  in  to 
see  the  end. 


EPirOGUE 

I  HAVE  said  again  and  again  how  strange  this  or  that  mo- 
ment or  incident  appeared  to  me  as  I  experienced  it;  yet  as 
I  sit  here  now  in  my  cell,  thirty  years  later,  looking  out  upon 
the  cloister-garth  with  its  twisted  columns,  and  the  cypresses 
and  the  grass,  it  is  not  so  much  this  or  that  thing  that  appears 
to  me  strange,  but  the  whole  of  my  experiences  and  indeed 
human  life  altogether.  For  what  can  be  more  extraordinary 
than  a  life  which  began  as  mine  did,  when  I  first  went  to  Eng- 
land in  sixteen  hundred  and  seventy-eight,  should  be  ending  as 
mine  will  end  presently,  if  God  will,  as  a  monk  of  St.  PauFs- 
Without-the- Walls,  in  Holy  Rome?  To  what  purpose,  I  ask 
myself,  was  that  part  of  my  life  designed  by  Divine  Provi- 
dence? For  what  did  I  labour  so  long,  when  all  was  to  come 
to  nothing?  For  what  was  I  to  learn  the  passion  of  human 
love;  if  but  to  lose  it  again?  For  what  was  I  to  intrigue  and 
spy  and  labour  and  adventure  my  life,  for  the  cause  of  Eng- 
land and  the  Catholic  Church,  when  all  a  year  or  two  later 
was  to  fall  back,  and  further  than  it  had  ever  fallen  before, 
into  the  darkness  of  heresy?  There  is  but  one  effort  in  all 
those  years  of  which  I  saw  the  fruition,  and  that  was  the  con- 
version of  my  master  upon  his  deathbed. 

However,  I  have  not  yet  related  what  passed  after  I  had 
gone  from  the  King  again,  and  took  Mr.  Huddleston  down- 
stairs. I  will  relate  that  very  shortly;  and  make  an  end.  I 
had  it  all  from  Mr.  Chiffinch  before  I  left  London. 

His  Majesty,  after  we  were  gone  from  him,  rallied  a  little, 
in  so  far  as  to  make  some  think  that  he  would  recover  alto- 
gether; but  the  physicians  said  No;  and  they  were  right  for 
near  the  first  time  in  all  their  diagnosis  of  his  state.  But 
they  continued  to  give  him  their  remedies  of  Sal  Ammoniac 
and  Peruvian  Bark,  and  later  the  Oriental  Bezoar  Stone,  which 
is  a  pebble,  I  understand,  taken  from  the  stomach  of  a  goat. 

4G3 


ODDSFISH!  463 

Also  they  blooded  him  again,  twelve  ounces  more,  and  all  to 
no  purpose. 

His  Majesty  said  a  number  of  things  that  night  that  were 
very  characteristic  of  him;  for  God  gave  him  back  his  gift  of 
merriment,  now  that  he  had  the  Gift  of  Faith  as  well:  and  he 
shewed  a  great  tenderness  too  from  time  to  time  and  a  very 
Christian  appreciation  of  his  own  condition. 

For  example,  he  said  that  he  was  suffering  very  much,  but 
he  thanked  God  for  it  and  that  he  was  able  to  bear  it  with 
patience,  as  indeed  he  did. 

Two  or  three  times  however  he  seemed  to  sigh  for  death  to 
come  quickly;  and  once  he  looked  round  with  his  old  laughter 
at  the  solemn  faces  round  his  bed,  and  begged  their  pardon 
that  he  was  "  such  an  unconscionable  time  in  dying."  "  My 
work  in  this  world  seems  over,"  he  said — "  such  as  it  has  been. 
I  pray  God  I  may  be  at  a  better  occupation  presently." 

He  thanked  His  Royal  Highness  the  Duke  of  York  (who 
was  by  his  bed  all  that  night,  weeping  and  kissing  his  hand 
repeatedly)  for  all  his  attention  and  love  for  him,  and  asked 
his  pardon  for  any  hardship  that  had  been  done  to  his  brother, 
through  his  fault.  He  gave  him  his  clothes  and  his  keys; 
telling  him  that  all  was  now  his;  and  that  he  prayed  God  to 
give  him  a  prosperous  reign. 

To  Her  Maj  esty  who  came  to  see  him  again  about  midnight, 
he  shewed  the  tenderest  consideration  and  love :  but  the  Queen, 
who  swooned  again  and  again  at  the  sight  of  him,  and  had  to 
be  carried  back  to  her  apartments,  sent  him  a  message  later 
begging  his  pardon  for  any  offence  that  she  had  ever  done 
to  him. 

"  What !  "  whispered  the  King.  "  What !  She  beg  my  par- 
don, poor  woman!  Rather  I  beg  hers  with  all  my  heart. 
Carry  that  message  back  to  Her  Maj  esty." 

No  less  than  twice  did  the  King  commend  the  Duchess  of 
Portsmouth  to  the  Duke's  care — poor  "  Fubbs  "  as  he  had 
called  her  to  me.  Some  blamed  him  for  thinking  of  her  at  all 
at  such  a  time ;  as  also  for  bidding  his  brother  "  not  to  let 
poor  Nell  starve";  but  for  myself  I  cannot  understand  such 
blame  at  all.  If  ever  there  were  two  poor  souls  who  needed 


464  ODDSFISH! 

care  and  forgiveness  it  was  those  two  women,  Mrs.  Nell  and 
Her  Grace. 

All  his  natural  sons  were  there — all  except  the  Duke  of 
Monmouth  whose  name  never  passed  his  lips  from  the  begin- 
ning of  his  sickness  to  the  end — and  these  too  he  recommended 
to  his  brother — the  three  sons  of  the  Duchess  of  Cleveland, 
and  the  rest.  I  do  not  wonder  that  he  left  out  His  Grace  of 
Monmouth:  it  seems  to  me  very  near  prophetical  of  what  was 
to  fall  presently,  when  the  Duke  was  to  revolt  against  his  new 
Sovereign  and  suffer  the  last  penalty  for  it,  at  his  hands.  But 
His  Majesty  blessed  all  the  rest  of  his  children  one  by  one, 
drawing  them  down  to  him  upon  the  bed — they  weeping  aloud, 
as  I  heard. 

A  very  strange  scene  followed  this.  One  of  the  Bishops 
fell  down  upon  his  knees,  and  begged  him,  who  was  the 
"  Lord's  Anointed  " — (and  anointed  too,  lately,  in  a  fashion 
the  Bishop  never  dreamed  of!) — to  bless  all  that  were  there, 
since  they  were  all  his  children,  and  all  his  subjects  too.  The 
Bedchamber  was  now  full  from  end  to  end;  and  all  the  com- 
pany fell  together  upon  their  knees.  His  Majesty,  raising 
himself  in  bed,  first  begged  the  pardon  of  all  in  a  loud  voice 
for  anything  in  which  he  had  acted  contrary  to  the  interests 
of  his  country  or  the  principles  of  good  government;  and  then, 
still  in  a  loud  voice,  pronounced  a  blessing  on  them  all.  Then 
he  fell  back  again  upon  his  pillows. 

So  that  night  went  slowly  by.  The  dogs  were  still  in  the 
room,  whining  from  time  to  time,  as  Mr.  Chimnch  told  me 
afterwards — (for  it  was  thought  better  that  I  myself,  as  one 
so  deeply  involved  in  what  had  lately  passed  should  not  be 
present) — and  one  of  the  little  dogs  sought  repeatedly  to  leap 
upon  the  bed,  but  was  prevented ;  and  at  last  was  carried  away, 
crying.  Again  and  again  first  one  Bishop  and  then  another 
begged  him  to  receive  the  sacrament ;  but  he  would  not :  so  they 
prayed  by  him  instead,  which  was  all  they  could  do. 

At  about  six  o'clock,  when  dawn  came,  he  begged  that  the 
curtains  of  his  bed  might  be  drawn  back  yet  further,  and  the 
windows  opened,  that  he  might  see  daylight  again  and  breathe 
the  fresh  air :  and  this  was  done.  Then,  at  the  chiming  of  the 


ODDSFISH!  465 

hour  by  the  clocks  in  the  room,  he  remembered  that  one  of 
them,  which  was  an  eight-day  one,  should  be  wound  up,  for  it 
was  a  Friday  on  which  it  was  always  wound.  And  this  too 
was  done. 

At  seven  o'clock  breathlessness  came  on  him  again,  and  he 
was  compelled  to  sit  up  in  bed,  with  his  brother's  arm  about 
him  on  one  side,  and  a  physician's  upon  the  other.  They 
blooded  him  again,  to  twelve  ounces  more,  which  I  suppose 
took  his  last  remnant  of  strength  from  him;  for  in  spite  of 
their  remedies,  he  sank  very  rapidly ;  and  about  half-past  eight 
lost  all  power  of  speech.  He  kept  his  consciousness,  however, 
moving  his  eyes  and  shewing  that  he  understood  what  was 
said  to  him  till  ten  o'clock;  and  then  he  became  unconscious 
altogether. 

At  a  little  before  noon,  without  a  struggle  or  agony  of  any 
kind,  His  Sacred  Majesty  ceased  to  breathe. 

Of  all  that  followed,  there  is  no  need  that  I  should  write; 
for  I  remained  in  England  only  till  after  the  funeral  in  West- 
minster Abbey — which  was  very  poorly  done — eight  days 
later;  and  I  left  on  the  Sunday  morning,  for  Dover,  after  being 
present  first,  for  a  remembrance,  at  the  first  mass  celebrated 
publicly  in  England,  with  open  doors,  in  the  presence  of  the 
Sovereign,  since  over  a  hundred  and  thirty  years.  I  had 
audience  with  King  James  on  the  night  before,  when  I  went 
to  take  my  leave  of  him ;  and  he  renewed  to  me  the  offer  of  the 
Viscounty,  of  which  I  think  Mr.  Chiffinch  had  spoken  to  him. 
But  I  refused  it  as  courteously  as  I  could,  telling  him  that  I 
was  for  Rome  and  the  cloister. 

All  the  rest,  however,  is  known  by  others  better  than  by 
myself;  and  the  events  that  followed.  His  Majesty  shewed 
himself  as  he  had  always  been — courageous,  obstinate,  well- 
intentioned  and  entirely  without  understanding.  He  was  pro- 
fuse in  his  promises  of  religious  equality;  but  slow  to  observe 
them.  He  shewed  ruthlessness  where  he  should  have  shewn 
tenderness,  .and  tenderness  where  he  should  have  shewn  ruth- 
lessness. So,  once  more,  all  our  labours  went  for  nothing:  and 
William  came  in;  and  the  Catholic  cause  vanished  clean  out  of 
England  until  it  shall  please  God  to  bring  it  back  again. 


466  ODDSFISH! 

So  here  I  sit  near  sixty  years  old,  a  monk  of  the  Order  of 
Saint  Benet,  in  my  cell  at  St.  Paul's-Without-the-Walls.  I 
have  been  Novice  Master  three  times ;  but  I  shall  never  be  more 
than  that;  for  governmental  affairs  and  I  have  said  farewell 
to  one  another  a  long  while  ago.  It  was  through  my  telling 
of  my  adventures  to  my  Novices  at  recreation-time  that  the 
writing  of  them  down  came  about;  for  my  Lord  Abbot  heard 
of  them,  and  put  me  under  obedience  to  write  them  down.  He 
did  this  when  he  heard  one  of  my  Novices  name  me  to  another 
as  Father  Viscount!  I  have  written  them,  then,  down  all  in 
full,  leaving  nothing  out  except  the  French  affairs  on  which 
I  was  put  under  oath  by  His  Majesty  never  to  reveal  any- 
thing: I  have  left  out  not  even  the  tale  of  my  Cousin  Dolly; 
for  I  hold  that  in  such  a  love  as  was  ours  there  is  nothing  that 
a  monk  need  be  ashamed  of.  I  will  venture  even  further  than 
that,  and  will  say  that  I  am  a  better  monk  than  I  should  have 
been  without  it;  and  as  one  last  piece  of  rashness  I  will  say 
that  amongst  "  those  good  things  which  God  hath  prepared  for 
them  that  love  Him"  in  that  world  which  is  beyond  this  (if 
I  ever  come  at  it  by  His  Grace),  will  be,  I  think,  the  look  on 
my  Cousin  Dolly's  face  when  I  see  her  again. 

Of  other  personages  whose  acquaintance  I  made  in  Eng- 
land— excepting  always  His  Majesty,  and  my  master,  Charles 
the  Second — I  neither  speak  nor  think  very  much  now.  My 
Cousin  Tom  died  of  an  apoplexy  three  years  after  I  left  Eng- 
land, and  God  knows  who  hath  Hare  Street  House  to-day! 
His  Majesty  James  the  Second,  as  all  the  world  knows,  made 
a  most  excellent  end  of  it  in  France,  dying  as  he  had  never 
lived  till  after  his  coming  to  France,  a  very  humble  and  Chris- 
tian soul.  In  regard  to  Mr.  Chiffinch,  I  think  of  him  some- 
times and  wonder  what  kind  of  an  end  he  made.  He  was 
very  reprobate  while  I  knew  him;  yet  he  had  the  gift  of  fidel- 
ity, and  that,  I  think,  must  count  for  something  before  God 
who  gave  it  him.  Of  the  ladies  of  the  Court  I  know  nothing 
at  all,  nor  how  they  fared  nor  how  they  ended,  nor  even  if  they 
are  all  dead  yet — I  mean  such  ladies  as  was  Her  Grace  of 
Portsmouth. 

But  all  of  them  I  commend  to  God  every  day  in  my  mass 


ODDSFISH!  467 

living  or  dead ;  and  trust  that  all  may  have  found  the  mercy  of 
God,  or  may  yet  find  it.  But  most  of  all  I  remember  at  the 
altar  the  names  of  two  persons,  than  between  whom  there  could 
be  no  greater  difference  in  this  world — the  names  of  Dorothy 
Mary  Jermyn,  the  least  of  all  sinners ;  and  of  Charles  Stuart, 
King  of  England,  the  greatest  of  all  sinners,  yet  a  penitent 
one.  For  these  are  the  two  whom  I  have  loved  as  I  can  never 
love  any  others. 


THIS  BOOK  IS  DUE  ON  THE  LAST  DATE 
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